BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 06 Nov 08 - 05:24 PM

I just figured since he was the one who pissed in the boot in the first place he wasn't worried about how to empty it.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Nov 08 - 05:51 PM

Yeah, I understand that he does that a lot after he's had a few beers. Right down the old pants leg and into his boots.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Ebbie
Date: 06 Nov 08 - 07:11 PM

Good gracious. My first entry into this thread in weeks and I find Rapaire and Little Hawk quarreling, threatening each other even. Fellas, just remember that in the recent unpleasantness (that ended so happily), you were on the same side.

By the way, I'm impressed. This thread is getting close to 3000 posts. How many more to one billion? 85 more after that will be a snap. Ya done good. You betcha.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 06 Nov 08 - 07:14 PM

We're not quarreling, Ebbie! Rapaire is simply firing insults at Shame...uh...sorry, I meant Shane...and I am making further comments along the same theme, alluding to Shane's probable reactions to those insults.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Nov 08 - 09:22 PM

Well, I hope Shame isn't driving because his reaction time is awfully slow.

Oh, wait. He has to wait on two things: semi-sobriety and release from gaol (jail).

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Nov 08 - 09:19 AM

I have been forced to conclude that Shame McBride has passed away, that he is No Longer With Us. Let me, therefore, write his epitaph:

Shame McBride, son of the well-known entertainer Pamela "Boom-Boom LaTush" Kozjolowsi and a traveling drummer who called himself Frank McBride, passed away recently. McBride lived with his older brother, Don, or in a dumpster behind Tim Horton's and was a familiar figure in Blind River. Annoying all who dared come near him, he was oftimes cited by the authorities as an air pollution hazard. Shame completed three grades of elementary school, taking a Leaving Cert seven years after he commenced his studies. Following his education he pursued a semi-successful career which included flatulence, beer tasting, experimentation with various STDs, panhandling, inebriation, and body lice. He is survived by his older brother, who will miss him because the beer supply will last longer.

RIP.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Nov 08 - 09:32 AM

By the way, the family requests that in lieu of flowers a donation be made to the Blind River landfill. If McBride's body is ever found it will be cremated if the alcohol level permits and the remains carefully dispersed by the Blind River sewage disposal system.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 07 Nov 08 - 11:09 AM

If McBride's body is ever found it will be cremated if the alcohol level permits

Alcohol is flammable, he should light up like a Christmas tree. Maybe they could work this into the seasonal celebrations somehow.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 07 Nov 08 - 11:10 AM

Poor Shane is dead
Poor Shane McBride is dead
He's lookin' oh so peaceful and serene ([Shane] and serene)
He's all laid out to rest
With his hands acrost his chest
His fingernails have never been so clean

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 07 Nov 08 - 11:37 AM

You flippin' BOLTHOLES! I am not flippin' dead! Waht kind of flippin' idoiyots are youse people??? I just been havin' trubble to find a compyuter since the liberry won't let me in there any more. Flipheads! I was not to blaim for what happened when the place got recked. It was the cops who done it! They hadda pay off the liberry bigtime fer all the damages, eh?

I am usin' a compyuter that one of Don's girlfiends said I can use but I cannnot use it fer long...so I am just gonna say this onece so's you can all hear it good and clear, eh?

Are youse ready?


FLIP OFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

- Shane

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Nov 08 - 12:04 PM

Poor old Shame. Now someone is imitating him again, God alone knows why. Probably going to try to steal his identity so that whoever it is can collect on the late Shame's Tim Horton's Frequent Donut Hole card.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 07 Nov 08 - 12:10 PM

Don't be sadistic, Rapaire. Shane has feelings too, you know. Think how desolate he must feel with the use of the library computer denied to him. Have a little compassion, man. You may one day find yourself drunk, unloved, and computerless too. Then you will think of Shane and wish you had been nicer to him.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Nov 08 - 12:25 PM

You're correct, LH. Whenever I'm alone, drunk, and computerless I'll think of Shame McBride and know that I'm still better off that he.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Nov 08 - 12:41 PM

Shame probably shouldn't have taken Don's credit cards. Now that he's dead that imposter is going to use them to run up BIG BILL$ for Don.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Nov 08 - 04:00 PM

Reduced to sponging off his brother's girlfriend...more evidence that this is an imposter! The REAL Shame would never put up with THAT!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 07 Nov 08 - 04:11 PM

You must be joking! Shane's been sponging off Don's girlfriends for years. He has a long history of doing that. You know what Jim Lahey always says, "A shit-apple never falls far from the tree."

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 07 Nov 08 - 08:23 PM

Beauty, eh?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Nov 08 - 10:26 PM

To think that Shame could have been just as famous, across Canada and the US and maybe even Mexico, as the MacKenzie brothers and Red Green and Don Cherry, eh? Maybe if he had just one more chance he wouldn't piss it away, but probably not, eh?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 07 Dec 08 - 03:23 PM

Wouldn't it be a wonderful Christmas if we managed to get to 3000 posts? I can think of no better present.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 07 Dec 08 - 05:07 PM

Far flippin' out, eh? What a great idea!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Dec 08 - 05:52 PM

I'm sure that the late Shame McBride would be proud.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Dec 08 - 09:10 PM

Periodically I whed a tear (just the one, I have remarkable control of my tear ducts) for the late Shame McBride.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Dec 08 - 09:11 PM

I also shed a tear.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Dec 08 - 08:57 PM

There is nothing we can give the late Shame McBride except, perhaps, to pour some good beer upon his final resting place.

It's okay to filter it through your kidneys first.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 08 Dec 08 - 10:50 PM

You're attempting to rouse a sleeping dog, aren't you?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Dec 08 - 10:59 PM

No, I'm paying tribute to the late Shame McBride.

Don't worry, I'll flush when I'm done.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 09 Dec 08 - 03:20 PM

Who will be remembered on this thread as nears 85 billion? Shane and Shane alone, 'The Founder' as he'll probably be referred to(I still think of him as BDiBR - just call me sentimental). We're just his minions who carry his torch. Still, better to be a minion than a no one I guess.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Dec 08 - 05:25 PM

Yes, the late, lamented (I'm sure by someone), semi-sober, pseudo-living, Shame McBride. Scion of McBride of Blind River, holder of the purple and orange and lime green tartan....

...how we have missed him, and with target practice could we do better?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Blind Drunk in Blind River
Date: 09 Dec 08 - 05:26 PM

Flippin' right, man. You rate as one of my top minniens, eh? But Rapaire does not! Know why? Cos he is a flippin' LOOSER that is why!!! And worse yet.......he is a flippin' LIBERRIAN!!! They don't come worse than that, eh?

- Shane

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 09 Dec 08 - 05:50 PM

Hey, Rap-around? You are the sorryest flippin' LOOSER I ever hern of! You suck! If you was my dog I would of had you put down years ago, eh?

- Shane

p.-flippin'-s.   We are closin' in on our flippin' goal of 3000 posts befoar Kristmas. Good work! 85 Billion cannot be that far off, eh?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Dec 08 - 06:16 PM

Who or what is this that sullies the name of the late Shame McBride?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Dec 08 - 04:09 PM

The last known photograph of the late Shame McBride!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 Dec 08 - 04:46 PM

That is NOT Shane. The T-shirt is too clean and new looking. The body and hands are too clean looking also. The bag is too neat and clean looking. Besides, Shane is normally seen "half in the bag", not all the way in.

It's definitely not Shane.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Dec 08 - 06:34 PM

That was taken of his body after it was cleaned up, in case anyone wanted a picture to remember him by.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Dec 08 - 09:33 AM

It was also taken straight down. Shame was laid out on his familiar section of street, looking as natural as he ever did. The bag was placed over his head in a symbolic gesture by Officer Dana who expressed her sorrow by saying "There, thank God. I'll never have to see him again." It is said that after the funeral ceremony the body sloshed as it was taken to its eternal resting place in the Blind River Pet Cemetery. (Cremation was forbidden due to the possibility of an alcohol-induced flash fire.)

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 Dec 08 - 11:06 AM

LOL! Oh, dear. Shane is going to be very upset when he reads that, Rapaire.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Dec 08 - 03:34 PM

When word of his passing reached Idaho, the Idaho Legion fired a volley of shots in his memory. Then they fired volleys until they ran out of Canadian Club, when they switched to Yukon Jack and tossed back a few volleys in memory of Sergeant Preston.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 Dec 08 - 05:31 PM

That was kind of them. What a splendid lot of caring folks they must be.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Dec 08 - 06:47 PM

Oh, they are! Did I mention that the new urinals are being dedicated to Shame's memory?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 12 Dec 08 - 12:24 AM

That's more than anyone in Blind River has ever done for Shane.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Dec 08 - 09:11 AM

Well, it was either the new urinals or the new septic tank. The memorialization of the septic tank is being held back until someone who REALLY deserves such an honor comes along.

But it was close, very close.

You'll be pleased to know that there's a little plaque at the bottom of each urinal reading, "In memory of the late Shame McBride. Please don't throw butts or gum in the urinal, Shame's trying to quit."

There's also a groundswell movement to get the Hovel's newly remodeled vomitorium named "Shame McBride Hall". Upton Charles "Up Chuck" Smythe and his friends are leading the charge (so to speak).

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Ebbie
Date: 12 Dec 08 - 04:46 PM

Are we there yet? I say 'we'- although I dropped out of the 85-billion quest long ago (due to lack of interest)(or something similar) I still indulge a proprietary {sic} sense.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 12 Dec 08 - 08:04 PM

Shane figures we are closing in fast, Ebbie, but his math skills are not that good.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Dec 08 - 09:11 PM

None of his skills were all that good. I understand that he was 16 before he could breathe without a tutor and 20 before he was toilet trained.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 12 Dec 08 - 11:17 PM

That's not fair. He's very good at avoiding both work and responsibility.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Dec 08 - 10:36 AM

So he's not toilet trained then?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 13 Dec 08 - 10:46 AM

It just occurred to me that Shane should have titled this thread "WHEN will this thread reach 85 billion posts?", not "Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?" To ask the latter question indicates doubt. If you're going to embark on such a noble enterprise, there should be no doubt whatsoever of achieving the objective.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Ebbie
Date: 13 Dec 08 - 02:05 PM

Poor Shane. Does he know - or care - how people talk about him?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Dec 08 - 03:02 PM

So it's not if, but when Shame is toilet trained? Don't you think that Depends?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 13 Dec 08 - 03:16 PM

YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 3000!!!!!!!!!

- Shane