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Lyr Add: The Portree Kid, which version?

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John MacKenzie 29 Mar 07 - 02:05 PM
Q (Frank Staplin) 29 Mar 07 - 07:46 PM
Jim Lad 30 Mar 07 - 12:38 AM
GUEST,J. Thompson 13 Sep 08 - 02:30 PM
Susanne (skw) 13 Sep 08 - 09:47 PM
Effsee 13 Sep 08 - 10:20 PM
Joe Offer 14 Sep 08 - 12:03 AM
Micca 14 Sep 08 - 07:25 AM
GUEST 20 Jan 09 - 07:52 PM
Tattie Bogle 20 Jan 09 - 08:05 PM
Tattie Bogle 24 Jan 09 - 12:12 PM
sheila 25 Jan 09 - 09:57 AM
GUEST 11 Sep 12 - 04:02 PM
Tattie Bogle 14 Sep 12 - 06:48 PM
GUEST,Guest TF 15 Sep 12 - 09:03 AM
it'smagic 15 Sep 12 - 05:05 PM
GUEST,Guest TF. 16 Sep 12 - 07:35 AM
GUEST,Guest TF 16 Sep 12 - 07:40 AM
maeve 16 Sep 12 - 07:44 AM
GUEST,Guest TF 16 Sep 12 - 05:28 PM
GUEST,ActiusAquila 26 Jan 19 - 12:30 AM
Tattie Bogle 26 Jan 19 - 10:53 AM
GUEST,Sol 28 Jan 19 - 08:01 PM
Joe Offer 29 Jan 19 - 03:35 AM
Jack Campin 29 Jan 19 - 06:17 AM
Tattie Bogle 29 Jan 19 - 07:27 PM
GUEST 30 Jan 19 - 08:06 PM
GUEST,kenny 31 Jan 19 - 12:11 PM
Tattie Bogle 17 Feb 19 - 04:23 AM
GUEST,Naina Tal 02 Mar 19 - 01:07 PM
GUEST,Guest 12 Mar 19 - 08:51 AM
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Subject: Lyr Add: THE PORTREE KID
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 29 Mar 07 - 02:05 PM

THE PORTREE KID
As recorded by the Corries

A man came riding oot the west
One wild and stormy day
He was quiet, lean and hungry
His eyes were smoky grey
He was lean across the hurdies
But his shooders they were big
The terror o' the hieland glens
That was the Portree kid

Chorus:
Heedrum ho, heedrum hay
The teuchter that cam' frae Skye.

His sidekick was an orra man
And Oh! but he was mean.
He was called the midnight ploughboy
And he cam' frae Aberdeen.
He had twenty-seven notches
On his cromach, so they say
And he killed a million Indians
Way up in Stornaway.

Portree booted in the door
He sauntered tae the bar
He poured a shot o' Crabbies
He shouted "slainthe bha"
While Midnight was being chatted up
By a bar room girl called Pam
She said "Well howdy stranger.
Would ye buy us a Babycham?"

Now over in the corner sat
Three men frae Auchtertool.
They were playin games for money
In a snakes and ladders school.
The fourth man was a southerner
Who'd come up from MacMerry.
He'd been a river gambler
On the Ballachulish Ferry

Portree walked tae the table
And he shouted "Shake me in "
He shoogled on the eggcup
He gave the dice a spin
He threw seven sixes in a row
And the game was nearly done
But then he landed on a snake
And finished on square one.

The game was nearly over
And Portree was daein' fine
He'd landed on a ladder
He was up tae forty-nine.
He only had but one to go
And the other man was beat
When the gambler cowped the board up
And shouted "You're a cheat!"

Men dived behind the rubber plants
Tae try and save their skins
The accordionist stopped playing
His sidekick dropped the spoons.
He said "I think it's funny
Ye've been up that ladder twice
And ye ayeways dunt the table
When I go to throw ma dice"

The gambler drew his sgian dhu
As fast as lightning speed
Portree grabbed a screw-tap
He cracked him o'er the heid
And then he gave him laldy
Wi' a salmon aff the wa'
And he finished aff the business
Wi' his lucky grouse foot's claw.

Portree walked up tae the bar
He said "I'll hae a hauf
And dae ye like the way I stuck it on
That wee Macmerry nyaff.
But the southerner crept up behind
His features wracked wi' pain
And gubbed him wi' an ashtray
Made oot o' curling stane.

The fight went raging on all night
Till opening time next day.
Wi' a break for stew and stovies
Aff a coronation tray.
It was getting kinda obvious
That neither man would win
When came the shout that stopped it a'
"There's a bus trip coming in"

They sing this song in Galashiels
And up by Peterhead
Way down o'er the border
Across the Rio Tweed.
About what became of Portree,
Midnight and the gambling man;
They opened up a gift shop
Selling fresh air in a can.


A wee bittie culture for the masses.
Giok


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: The Portree Kid
From: Q (Frank Staplin)
Date: 29 Mar 07 - 07:46 PM

See "The Portree Kid" as posted by Benjamin Bodhra/nai. 21 Feb 98, in thread 4122:
Portree Kid


Thread #4122   Message #21948
Posted By: Benjamin Bodhra/nai
21-Feb-98 - 05:55 PM
Thread Name: Lyr Req: Ghost Riders in the Sky
Subject: Lyr Add: THE PORTREE KID

As an aside here's a parody:

THE PORTREE KID

1. A man cam' riding oot the west one wild and stormy day
He was tall, quiet and hungry, his eyes were smoky grey
He was lean across the hurdies, but his shoulders they were big
The terror o' the hielan' glens that was the Portree Kid

Chorus:

He drum ho he drum hey
The teuchter that cam' frae Skye

2. His sidekick was an orra' man, and oh but he was mean
He was ca'ad the Midnight Ploughboy, and he cam' frae Aberdeen
He had twenty seven notches on his cromack so they say
And he killed a million Indians, way up in Stornoway

3. Portree booted in the door, he sauntered tae the bar
He poured a shot o' Crabbies, he shouted Slainte Mhath (Slangevar)
While Midnight was being chatted up by a bar room girl called Pam
Who said 'Well howdy stranger, wad' ye buy's a Babycham'

4. Now over in the corner sat three men frae Auchtertool
They were playing games for money, in a snakes and ladder school
The fourth man was a southerner who'd come up from Macmerry
He'd been a river gambler on the Ballachulish Ferry

Chorus

4. Portree walked tae the table and he shouted 'Shake me in'
He shoogled on the eggcup, he gave the dice a spin
He threw seven sixes in a row and the game was nearly done
But then he landed on a snake, and finished on square one

5. The game was nearly over and Portree was doing fine
He'd landed on a ladder; he was up to forty nine
He only had but one to go and the other man was beat
But the gambler cowped the board over, and shouted 'You're a cheat'

7. Men dived behind the rubber plants, to try and save their skins
The accordionist stopped playing, his sidekick dropped the spoons
He says 'I think its funny, you've been up that ladder twice
And ye ayeways dunt the table, when I go tae throw my dice'

Chorus

8. The gambler drew his Skian Dubh (Skeandoo), as fast as lightning speed
Portree grabbed a screwtop; he cracked him o'er the heid
Then he gave him laldy, wi' a salmon off the wall
And he finished off the business wi' his lucky grousefoot's claw

9. Portree walked up tae the bar, he says 'I'll hae a half
And d'ye like the way I stuck it on that wee Macmerry nyaff
But the southerner crept up behind, his features wracked wi' pain
And he gubbed him wi' an ashtray, made oot o' a curling stane

10. The fight went raging on all night till opening time next day
Wi' a break for soup and stovies aff a coronation tray
It was getting kind o' obvious that neither man would win
When came the shout that stopped it all 'There's a bus trip coming in'

Chorus

11. They sing this song in Galashiels and up by Peterheid
Way down o'er the border, across the Rio Tweed
About what became o Portree, Midnight and the Gambling Man
They opened up a gift shop selling fresh air in a can

Chorus


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: The Portree Kid
From: Jim Lad
Date: 30 Mar 07 - 12:38 AM

I have a friend who does "The Wild Colonial Boy" to this tune. It's hilarious.
The Portree Kid is a classic though. It was really sad to see the late Johnny Cash try to turn it into a country song. (before he died)
Is nothing sacred?


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Subject: The Portree Kid, which version?
From: GUEST,J. Thompson
Date: 13 Sep 08 - 02:30 PM

Hello. I have never heard "The Portree Kid", but I have not got it on CD. I have two CD's, with two versions. One with The Corries, and one with Alastair McDonald. Which one is the best, so which one should I hear first? Are there any other recordings of this song that's even better? Did Andy Stewart or Jimmy Logan ever record it?
Thanks
J. Thompson


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Subject: RE: The Portree Kid, which version?
From: Susanne (skw)
Date: 13 Sep 08 - 09:47 PM

Haven't heard the Macdonald version, but he's usually good. From the Corries this is one of their few humorous songs that actually make me laugh. I think they do it very well. Just go ahead, listen (in whatever sequence) and enjoy!


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Subject: RE: The Portree Kid, which version?
From: Effsee
Date: 13 Sep 08 - 10:20 PM

I think the Portree Kid was written by Bill Hill, Just a wee bit after Andy Stewart's or Jimmy Logan's time.


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Subject: RE: The Portree Kid, which version?
From: Joe Offer
Date: 14 Sep 08 - 12:03 AM

Well, I have to admit that this song is filled with cultural references that mean nothing to this Wisconsin exile in California. Asking for an explanation of the whole song would be too much - but could somebody please explain the title to me?

-Joe Clueless-


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Subject: RE: The Portree Kid, which version?
From: Micca
Date: 14 Sep 08 - 07:25 AM

Joe, Portree is the biggest town on the Isle of Skye, on the West coast of Scotland, and since country music is very popular in Scotland the "Wild west" name affectation is not that unusual. The word "Teuchter" in the chorus is more difficult, it has a distinct niche meaning (In Ireland the word Culchie means much the same thing) of a Thick uneducated rural born and bred labourer.


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Subject: RE: The Portree Kid, which version?
From: GUEST
Date: 20 Jan 09 - 07:52 PM

WHere can I download the portree kid song?


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Subject: RE: The Portree Kid, which version?
From: Tattie Bogle
Date: 20 Jan 09 - 08:05 PM

By the way, Bill Hill (the author)is still very much alive and kicking: must be somewhat younger than either Jimmy Logan or Andy Stewart! He MC'ed a charity concert in Edinburgh at the weekend, and entertained us with some more hilarious poetry. Don't know if he ever recorded the song himself, and he doesn't do much singing in concerts now,though can still be heard in the sessions.


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Subject: RE: The Portree Kid, which version?
From: Tattie Bogle
Date: 24 Jan 09 - 12:12 PM

Guest, you'll probably have to buy the CD: it's not on Itunes.
See here for the Corries website, it's on their "Comedy Collection" CD.
http://www.corries.com/product_info.php?products_id=36


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Subject: RE: The Portree Kid, which version?
From: sheila
Date: 25 Jan 09 - 09:57 AM

Is that Bill Hill, the same one who used to sing with Bill Smith's (ex-Corrie Folk Trio) wee brother Tom, back in the 60s?


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: The Portree Kid, which version?
From: GUEST
Date: 11 Sep 12 - 04:02 PM

Just discovered this old thread while trying to find a link to the lyrics for someone.

It could well be that Bill Hill sang with Bill Smith's brother -- no idea really except that there must be some connection between Bill H and the Corries. They sang at least two of his parody songs -- Lucille was another. Also, the Corries Website sells Bill's own recordings.

To the person who asked earlier in this thread if Bill recorded this, too: Yes, he did. It's on Youtube and probably on one of his CDs for sale on the Corries Website. I think it sounds almost as good as the Corries' version; I haven't heard any other ones. I always enjoy Roy Williamson's expressive voice, whether comedy or melancholy lament, so I'm kind of partial to theirs.


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: The Portree Kid, which version?
From: Tattie Bogle
Date: 14 Sep 12 - 06:48 PM

Here's an old recording of the man himself singing it at a live gig - and I don't think anyone has mentioned so far that the tune is "Ghost Riders in the Sky". And yes, he was one of the crowd around Edinburgh in the 60s - and still is.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J8XT8oTcko0


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: The Portree Kid, which version?
From: GUEST,Guest TF
Date: 15 Sep 12 - 09:03 AM

Bill Hill, writer of "Portree" is alive, well and a legendary Edinburgh City tour guide. If Bill doesn't know something about old Edinburgh, it's not worth knowing. The song is available on CD along with a lot of equally scurrilous songs from; edinburghtourguide.co.uk".In Bill's version you get all the verses as well. He is a most entertaining companion and a very dear friend. Not of mine but surely somewhere.....


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: The Portree Kid, which version?
From: it'smagic
Date: 15 Sep 12 - 05:05 PM

@GUEST,Guest TF: Can you give us that url for Bill's site again? It didn't work with www in front. I got connected to the invasive, annoying iamwired site, which gave me about 20 sites called edinburgh tour guide. I would love to go on one of his tours the next time I'm in Edinburgh.


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: The Portree Kid, which version?
From: GUEST,Guest TF.
Date: 16 Sep 12 - 07:35 AM

www.edinburghtourguide.co.uk. Or search Bill Hill in facebook should get you there.


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: The Portree Kid, which version?
From: GUEST,Guest TF
Date: 16 Sep 12 - 07:40 AM

While I'm on it, Bill and his, then, wife Jean sang in The Cairn Trio with the late Tom Smith in the late 60s early 70s. They toured with various versions of "The White Heather Show" and very good they were too.


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: The Portree Kid, which version?
From: maeve
Date: 16 Sep 12 - 07:44 AM

Here's the blue clicky:
   http://www.edinburghtourguide.co.uk/


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: The Portree Kid, which version?
From: GUEST,Guest TF
Date: 16 Sep 12 - 05:28 PM

Sanku.


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: The Portree Kid, which version?
From: GUEST,ActiusAquila
Date: 26 Jan 19 - 12:30 AM

Well, I've listened to the Corries version of this song and like the tune, but I'm neither from the UK nor American so I'm confused as to why it's a funny song... can anyone tell me why "curling stane" and "fresh air in a can" are so funny?


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: The Portree Kid, which version?
From: Tattie Bogle
Date: 26 Jan 19 - 10:53 AM

There are a lot of Scots words and references in it which might make it difficult for non-Scots to understand it all.
A "curling stane" (stone) is a huge lump of granite, used for the on-ice sport of curling: you may have seen it in the Olympics.If you've ever tried lifting a curling stone you'll know how heavy it is! Maybe it's not funny to "gub" someone (hit them over the head) but it would be a heavy weapon if you did!
"Fresh air in a can" just refers to the sort of con tricks that can be played on tourists - "take a bit of Scotland back with you". Believe that if you will!
The tune is, as I said way back up the thread, from "Ghost Riders in the Sky".


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: The Portree Kid, which version?
From: GUEST,Sol
Date: 28 Jan 19 - 08:01 PM

Re. Micca's post. I've always understood that'a teuchter' (pronounced 'choochter' - the 'ch' as in 'loch')is someone who resides in the countryside. i.e. not a city or town dweller. (N. Americans would say 'someone from the Boondocks')
The Portreeve Kid is riddled with Scots words that non-Scots might not grasp. e.g.
Cowped = spilled or knocked over.
Nyaff = dislikeable common person
Gub = to strike someone on the face.


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: The Portree Kid, which version?
From: Joe Offer
Date: 29 Jan 19 - 03:35 AM

I posted a message to this thread in desperate cluelessness in 2008. I got the impression must be some sort of backwoods place, deep in the wilderness of savage Scotland. Well, I went to Portree on the Isle of Skye in 2015, and I loved it. This photo (click) may be visible to you if you're logged into Facebook....or not.

But I liked Portree, and bought my favorite "mouthie" there.

-Joe-


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: The Portree Kid, which version?
From: Jack Campin
Date: 29 Jan 19 - 06:17 AM

Portree wasn't exactly buzzing when I was there last (not long after this song was written) - I think that's the point. I feel the same as Susanne - most of the Corries' attempts at humour don't quite work, but this one does.


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: The Portree Kid, which version?
From: Tattie Bogle
Date: 29 Jan 19 - 07:27 PM

And my husband was at a Burns supper (all male event) last weekend, where the legendary Bill Hill was one of the guests and regaled them with some more of his parody/poetry.


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: The Portree Kid, which version?
From: GUEST
Date: 30 Jan 19 - 08:06 PM

Is the Corrie's version not the original?


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: The Portree Kid, which version?
From: GUEST,kenny
Date: 31 Jan 19 - 12:11 PM

No - the "original" would be by the guy who wrote it - Bill Hill, although I don't know for definite who recorded the song first.
I was thinking about Bill last week while hearing "Tae A Haggis" - Bill had a brilliant parody, "Tae A Mealie Pudden".


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: The Portree Kid, which version?
From: Tattie Bogle
Date: 17 Feb 19 - 04:23 AM

And at another Burns supper last night (mixed company this time!) Bill gave us his take on "Veganuary" - basically there wouldn't be much left of your traditional Burns supper meal left once you take out all the non-vegan items!


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: The Portree Kid, which version?
From: GUEST,Naina Tal
Date: 02 Mar 19 - 01:07 PM

Personally liked the original best (Bill Hill's) Much funnier. I have it on vynil somewhere. Point of this post though, is that The Corries cut some verses from it. Anyone have the full lyric?


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: The Portree Kid, which version?
From: GUEST,Guest
Date: 12 Mar 19 - 08:51 AM

Somewhere at home my wife has a recording of Bill Hill's "Police Record" (recorded at a police social club in Edinburgh in the seventies or eighties, which has both The Portree Kid and To a Mealie Pudden on it (along with other tracks). It also contains a nice introduction to the Portree Kid explaining the similarity between the Wild West and the West of Scotland. (e.g. The Wild West has the Texas Rangers, we have the Glasgow Rangers).
The Corries omit two verses, at least, from The Portree Kid. I suspect that it is because of the references they contain. The first one (third verse) is something along the lines of:

They....(something or other I can't remember),
Called in at Fort Augustus for to join the Cavalry,
At the Heughmagandie Tearooms, they stopped off for a bite,
And at Black Jock MacPhee's Hotel, they stopped off for the night.

Then second last verse..
(from memory)
My God cried Jock, "Tam, get your pipes and play outside the door,
Put up the Monarch o' the Glen while I clean up the floor,
Portree, put out the ashtrays made out of scallop shells,
Hide a' the decent whisky, and get out Haigs and Bells"

The latter verse would affect potential sponsorship, while the former has the Scots word Heughmagandie which I won't bother to translate, but some people might know.


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