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BS: Driving to Mongolia in a Nissan Micra

John MacKenzie 01 May 07 - 04:25 AM
Fibula Mattock 01 May 07 - 04:14 AM
Sorcha 01 May 07 - 02:39 AM
Georgiansilver 01 May 07 - 02:37 AM
mg 01 May 07 - 12:14 AM
katlaughing 30 Apr 07 - 10:26 PM
dick greenhaus 30 Apr 07 - 08:44 PM
Richard Bridge 30 Apr 07 - 06:20 PM
Fibula Mattock 30 Apr 07 - 06:03 PM
John MacKenzie 30 Apr 07 - 05:54 PM
Fibula Mattock 30 Apr 07 - 05:51 PM
Fibula Mattock 30 Apr 07 - 05:41 PM
katlaughing 30 Apr 07 - 05:33 PM
catspaw49 30 Apr 07 - 05:24 PM
Fibula Mattock 30 Apr 07 - 05:21 PM
John MacKenzie 30 Apr 07 - 05:13 PM
McGrath of Harlow 30 Apr 07 - 05:05 PM
Herga Kitty 30 Apr 07 - 05:00 PM
Fibula Mattock 30 Apr 07 - 04:47 PM
Fibula Mattock 30 Apr 07 - 04:44 PM
Amos 30 Apr 07 - 04:43 PM
Fibula Mattock 30 Apr 07 - 04:40 PM

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Subject: RE: BS: Driving to Mongolia in a Nissan Micra
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 01 May 07 - 04:25 AM

Send the money, or we send Spaw in might work Kate.
G ¦¬]


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Subject: RE: BS: Driving to Mongolia in a Nissan Micra
From: Fibula Mattock
Date: 01 May 07 - 04:14 AM

Oh thanks Mike! That's lovely. We're waiing for the main page to go up, but there is an online donation site at:

http://www.justgiving.com/feckinirishrovers
(for Mercy Corps)


http://www.justgiving.com/feckinirishrovershopesandhomes
(for Hopes and Homes)



http://www.justgiving.com/feckinirishroversnicfc
(for the NI Cancer Fund for Children)


I will update our advetures and plans as they continue.

If anyone is in a position of responsibility and boardrooom power and would like to become a commercial sponsor they are very welcome. In return you get sticker space on the car, lots of plugs on the web and in the media who have quite an interest in the trip. We're quite happily looking for non-monetary donations from companies as well - anything from the furry dice on the mirror to camping gear or black tie formal wear (there's a black tie ball at the end so I have to find and transport a posh evening frock). Also, any ideas of how best to phrase begging letters to companies is good!


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Subject: RE: BS: Driving to Mongolia in a Nissan Micra
From: Sorcha
Date: 01 May 07 - 02:39 AM

You can send one to me too, Mike! I always need walking around money (BG)


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Subject: RE: BS: Driving to Mongolia in a Nissan Micra
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 01 May 07 - 02:37 AM

FM...tried to click on DONATION in your section of the rally participants but with no joy...also clicked on the website you have given and was only offered a domain name. Please PM your address and will send a cheque. Best wishes, Mike.


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Subject: RE: BS: Driving to Mongolia in a Nissan Micra
From: mg
Date: 01 May 07 - 12:14 AM

would lycra rhyme with micra? mg


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Subject: RE: BS: Driving to Mongolia in a Nissan Micra
From: katlaughing
Date: 30 Apr 07 - 10:26 PM

Fibula, pardon my previous posting. I had read the log in your link and was thinking of those fellows, from England, from last year when I posted about "Englishpersons" being mad. Didn't mean not to include Irishpersons, too!**bg**

I have just read aloud the whole 12 pages from that link to my Rog. We had a piece of shite Fiat once. He kept interrupting me with "WHY did they choose a Fiat!"

Really look forward to your travels.

All the best,

kat


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Subject: RE: BS: Driving to Mongolia in a Nissan Micra
From: dick greenhaus
Date: 30 Apr 07 - 08:44 PM

Will, I put some 96000 miles on a FIAT Multipla--a 6-seater with a 633 CC engine.


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Subject: RE: BS: Driving to Mongolia in a Nissan Micra
From: Richard Bridge
Date: 30 Apr 07 - 06:20 PM

I think my mate Tony Mayo and his son David are on this too


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Subject: RE: BS: Driving to Mongolia in a Nissan Micra
From: Fibula Mattock
Date: 30 Apr 07 - 06:03 PM

Giok, I really hope you copied and pasted that :)

I am wondering if 2 months is ample time to learn how to 'play' the guitar and sing at the same time* so I can provide live music en route.







*separately is much, MUCH easier


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Subject: RE: BS: Driving to Mongolia in a Nissan Micra
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 30 Apr 07 - 05:54 PM

Better get a plastic Jesus for your dashboard methinks lass.
G.

Plastic Jesus
- Ernie Marrs; Trad and Anon

    Well, I don't care if it rains or freezes,
    Long as I have my plastic Jesus
    Riding on the dashboard of my car
    Through all trials and tribulations,
    We will travel every nation,
    With my plastic Jesus I'll go far.

    CHORUS
    Plastic Jesus, plastic Jesus
    Riding on the dashboard of my car
    Through my trials and tribulations,
    And my travels thru the nations,
    With my plastic Jesus I'll go far.

    I don't care if it rains or freezes
    As long as I've got my Plastic Jesus
    Glued to the dashboard of my car,
    You can buy Him phosphorescent
    Glows in the dark, He's Pink and Pleasant,
    Take Him with you when you're travelling far

    I don't care if it's dark or scary
    Long as I have magnetic Mary
    Ridin' on the dashboard of my car
    I feel I'm protected amply
    I've got the whole damn Holy Family
    Riding on the dashboard of my car

    You can buy a Sweet Madonna
    Dressed in rhinestones sitting on a
    Pedestal of abalone shell
    Goin' ninety, I'm not wary
    'Cause I've got my Virgin Mary
    Guaranteeing I won't go to Hell

    I don't care if it bumps or jostles
    Long as I got the Twelve Apostles
    Bolted to the dashboard of my car
    Don't I have a pious mess
    Such a crowd of holiness
    Strung across the dashboard of my car

    ALT CHORUS
    No, I don't care if it rains or freezes
    Long as I have my plastic Jesus
    Riding on the dashboard of my car
    But I think he'll have to go
    His magnet ruins my radio
    And if we have a wreck he'll leave a scar

    Riding through the thoroughfare
    With his nose up in the air
    A wreck may be ahead, but he don't mind
    Trouble coming, he don't see
    He just keeps his eyes on me
    And any other thing that lies behind

    ALT CHORUS
    Plastic Jesus, Plastic Jesus
    Riding on the dashboard of my car
    Though the sun shines on his back
    Makes him peel, chip, and crack
    A little patching keeps him up to par

    When pedestrians try to cross
    I let them know who's boss
    I never blow my horn or give them warning
    I ride all over town
    Trying to run them down
    And it's seldom that they live to see the morning

    ALT CHORUS
    Plastic Jesus, Plastic Jesus
    Riding on the dashboard of my car
    His halo fits just right
    And I use it as a sight
    And they'll scatter or they'll splatter near and far

    When I'm in a traffic jam
    He don't care if I say Damn
    I can let all sorts of curses roll
    Plastic Jesus doesn't hear
    For he has a plastic ear
    The man who invented plastic saved my soul

    ALT CHORUS
    Plastic Jesus, Plastic Jesus
    Riding on the dashboard of my car
    Once his robe was snowy white
    Now it isn't quite so bright
    Stained by the smoke of my cigar

    God made Christ a Holy Jew
    God made Him a Christian too
    Paradoxes populate my car
    Joseph beams with a feigned elan
    From the shaggy dash of my furlined van
    Famous cuckold in the master plan

    Naughty Mary, smug and smiling
    Jesus dainty and beguiling
    Knee-deep in the piling of my van
    His message clear by night or day
    My phosphorescent plastic Gay
    Simpering from the dashboard of my van

    When I'm goin' fornicatin
    I got my ceramic Satan
    Sinnin' on the dashboard of my Winnebago Motor Home
    The women know I'm on the level
    Thanks to the wild-eyed stoneware devil
    Ridin' on the dashboard of my Winnebago Motor Home
    Sneerin' from the dashboard of my Winnebago Motor Home
    Leering from the dashboard of my van

    If I weave around at night
    And the police think I'm tight
    They'll never find my bottle, though they ask
    Plastic Jesus shelters me
    For His head comes off, you see
    He's hollow, and I use Him for a flask

    ALT CHORUS
    Plastic Jesus, plastic Jesus
    Riding on the dashboard of my car
    Ride with me and have a dram
    Of the blood of the Lamb
    Plastic Jesus is a holy bar

    There is nothin that is cuter
    than a smilin Jolly Buddha,
    Ridin on the dashboard of my car,
    I don't have no idol cuter,
    comes in plastic, bronze and pewter,
    Take him with me when I go afar.

    Jolly Buddha, fat and squattin,
    on a pad of aspirin cotton,
    He's with me wherever I may roam,
    When it's late and I start to hurry,
    I know he ain't gonna worry,
    He looks at me and all he says is, "Oooommmmmmm."

    There is nothing that is gaucher
    Than eatin food that isn't kosher,
    Right in front of my smilin Moses' face,
    I'm afraid that he'll awaken
    When I'm eatin ham or bacon,
    And throw them Ten Commandments in my face.

    I don't care if I'm broke or starvin'
    As long as I've got a fish named Darwin
    Glued to the trunklid of my car
    God, I'm feeling so evolved
    Drivin' with my problems solved
    Proclaiming what I think of what we are

    Riding home one foggy night,
    With my honey cuddled tight,
    I missed a curve and off the road we veered.
    My windshield got smashed-up good,
    And my darling graced the hood.
    Plastic Jesus, He had disappeared.

    cho: Plastic Jesus! Plastic Jesus,
    No longer chides me with His holy grin.
    Doctors in the X-ray room
    Found Him in my darling's womb.
    Someday, He'll be born again!

    I don't care if it rains or freezes
    Long as I got my plastic Jesus
    Riding on the dashboard of my car
    He's the dude with the rusty nails,
    Walks on water, don't need no sails
    Riding on the dashboard of me car

    I don't care if the night is scary
    As long as I got the Virgin Mary
    Sittin' on the dashboard of my car.
    She don't slip and she don't slide
    Cuz her butt is magnetized
    Sittin' on the dashboard of my car.

    Now I'm feeling quite contrary,
    cos I got the Virgin Mary
    Sitting on the dashboard of my car
    There's no room for imperfection,
    in my Catholic collection
    Which sits upon the dashboard of my car

    Jesus, Mary and St. Patrick,
    now I've got the holy hat-trick
    Sitting on the dashboard of my car
    One more statue I've got to get
    is the plastic Bernadette
    Sitting on the dashboard of my car

    Plastic Jesus, you've got to go,
    your magnet's burst my radio
    Sitting on the dashboard of my car
    But I, won't lose faith and I won't lose hope
    cos, now I've got a pope on a rope
    Swinging from the dashboard of my car

    Once as I drove to Knock,
    at a petrol station I got a shock
    at the special offers that they had for me
    20 more points and I can barter for a Jesus with stigmata
    to sit upon the dashboard of my car

Go girl.


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Subject: RE: BS: Driving to Mongolia in a Nissan Micra
From: Fibula Mattock
Date: 30 Apr 07 - 05:51 PM

We leave Hyde Park on 21st July, so do come and see us off if anyone is in the vicinity. Hopefully by then we will have found the A-Team and they will have transformed this car into something resembling a roadworthy vehicle.


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Subject: RE: BS: Driving to Mongolia in a Nissan Micra
From: Fibula Mattock
Date: 30 Apr 07 - 05:41 PM

Spaw, you're right, but thems the rules - an engine of less than 1000cc capacity and costing less than 150 quid. However, some of our sponsors have kindly agreed to contribute their trade, so we're getting a micra with roll bars and a skid plate. I don't even know what a skid plate is.

There's also a prize for the most useless item brought on the rally. Someone brought a lawnmower with them, though it probably had a bigger engine than the heap of junk they were driving.

I should point out that my offroad skills involve transporting archaeology students in a leaky Landrover Defender with dodgy steering drift and ferrying celebrity television archaeologists to-and-from the train station on occasions. I believe this goes some way towards the 7 mountain ranges and 3 deserts we'll have to tackle. Possibly I'll need more bribes than I usually dole out in the south of England.

Well, I shall adopt Piece of Shit Car as another anthem for the journey, alongside Johnny Cash's I've been everywhere, the Pogues' version of Irish Rover and Ministry's Jesus Built My Hotrod.


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Subject: RE: BS: Driving to Mongolia in a Nissan Micra
From: katlaughing
Date: 30 Apr 07 - 05:33 PM

Now I know all Englishpersons are Mad! **BG** What an adventure!! Be careful and have fun!! Post when you are able, okay?


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Subject: RE: BS: Driving to Mongolia in a Nissan Micra
From: catspaw49
Date: 30 Apr 07 - 05:24 PM

Fibs.....I love ya'.......Don't do this! Let me quote Adam Sandler's classic, "Piece of Shit Car" (which IS what you're driving!). Do you have to drive a trash pile or what? Please reconsider.

SERIOUSLY!

I'm a mechanic and I can tell you, this is a mistake! Jack up the radiator cap and slide a new car underneath it.

Ode To My Car

Here we go

Piece of shit car
I got a piece of shit car
That fuckin' pile of shit
Never gets me very far

My car's a big piece of shit
'Cause the shocks are fucking shot
And my seatbelt's fucking broken
I got to tie it in a knot
(It's a piece of shit)

I can't see through the windshield
'Cause it's got a big fucking' crack
And the interior smells real bad
'Cause my friend puked in the back
(It's a piece of shit)

(Piece of shit car)
Piece of shit car
(He's got a piece of shit car)
It sucks royal dick
(That fuckin' pile of shit)
100% crap
(Never gets him very far)
Oh fuck you car

It's got no CD player, it only got the 8-track
Whoever designed my car can lick my sweaty nut sack
(They can bite his ass too)
And I got no fuckin' brakes
I'm always way out of control
Eleven times a day I hear "Hey, watch it asshole"
(You fuckin' piece of shit)

(Piece of shit car)
I got piece of shit car
(He got a piece of shit car)
Diesel gas sucks my ass
(That fuckin' pile of shit)
That pile of metal shit
(Never gets him very far)

Oh what the fuck did I do
What the fuck did I do
What the fuck did I do
To get stuck with you
You're too wide for drive-thru
And you smell like the shoe
But I'm too broke to buy something new
Oh fuck me

Well the engine likes to flood
The car always fuckin' stalls
And the seat cushion's got a big rip
So a spring always pokes the balls
(Ouch, ouch, ouch)
Plus the door locks are busted
I gotta use a fucking coat hanger
(What a pain in his ass)
And if a girlie sees my car
There's no chance I'll ever bang her
(He never ever gets da pussy)
Hey shut up
(Piece of shit car)
You piece of shit car

(You got a piece of shit car)
You piece of shit car
(Piece of shit car)
Bald fuckin' tires
(You got a piece of shit car)
No rearview fucking mirror
(Piece of shit car)
Seven different colors
(You got a piece of shit car)
Fucking rag for a gas cap
(Piece of shit car)
Tailpipe makes the sparks fly everywhere
(You got a piece of shit car)
(Piece of shit car)
(You got a piece of shit car)
(Piece of shit car)
Oh the whole town thinks I'm a loser
(You got a piece of shit car)
Cabby give me a push
(Piece of shit car...)


Please??

Spaw


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Subject: RE: BS: Driving to Mongolia in a Nissan Micra
From: Fibula Mattock
Date: 30 Apr 07 - 05:21 PM

Thanks Giok, I think we'll need all the help we can get, though having an Irish passport is half the battle won.

Herga Kitty - haven't actually seen the car yet - it's back in Norn Ireland. It was kindly donated in response to a BBC Ulster radio appeal. My friend Maso, who is ably co-ordinating the whole shebang, is proving to be a virtuoso at getting people to part with their cash/belongings/children/etc.

McGoH - lycra rhymes with micra!


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Subject: RE: BS: Driving to Mongolia in a Nissan Micra
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 30 Apr 07 - 05:13 PM

Primula Fetlock you're a mad woman so you are, I like that in a 31 year old woman :)
I'll keep me fingers legs and eyes crossed for you girl.
Giok


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Subject: RE: BS: Driving to Mongolia in a Nissan Micra
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 30 Apr 07 - 05:05 PM

"Driving to Mongolia in a Nissan Micra"

- that's a great line. Can't think of any rhymes for Micra, only trouble.


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Subject: RE: BS: Driving to Mongolia in a Nissan Micra
From: Herga Kitty
Date: 30 Apr 07 - 05:00 PM

FM - so which generation of Micra are you driving? 4 or 5 forward gears?

Kitty (whose first car after passing my test was a Micra Colette)


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Subject: RE: BS: Driving to Mongolia in a Nissan Micra
From: Fibula Mattock
Date: 30 Apr 07 - 04:47 PM

Cheers Amos, yup - I'm very excited about it. There are some great blogs out there from former participants. I especially liked this account of last year: http://www.lingscars.com/ling-valentine.php


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Subject: RE: BS: Driving to Mongolia in a Nissan Micra
From: Fibula Mattock
Date: 30 Apr 07 - 04:44 PM

Main link should be http://mongolrally.theadventurists.com/


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Subject: RE: BS: Driving to Mongolia in a Nissan Micra
From: Amos
Date: 30 Apr 07 - 04:43 PM

Wow, what an adventure!! Great stuff--very best wishes with you all the way out and back, Fibs.



A


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Subject: BS: Driving to Mongolia in a Nissan Micra
From: Fibula Mattock
Date: 30 Apr 07 - 04:40 PM

Hello folks,

I'm not about Mudcat much these days, but I thought I'd give a quick and shameless plug to what I'm doing in my summer holidays, namely driving from London to Ulaan Bataar in a small hatchback car with a 1000cc engine costing less than £150 quid.

It's for charity. And I will be planting extra tomatoes on my balcony to carbon offset.

Loughstockers will be very pleased that our main sponsor is Feckin' Irish Whiskey, and every bottle of said drink you purchase online will result in a percentage donation to our nominated charities - Mercy Corps, Hope and Homes for Children, and the Northern Ireland Cancer Fund for Children.
Our team name? Feckin' Irish Rovers

This is us: Feckin' Irish Rovers
We'll have a proper, dedicated web site soon.

This is the rally: The Mongol Rally

To add to the excitement the team leader is the unluckiest car owner ever and has had more cars than he's had years on this earth, the second team member can't drive, and I'm on a medically restricted licence.

My mammy and daddy said I can go though, cos I'm 31 and they can't really stop me.


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