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BS: Indignities of Aging: the Sordid Truth

Senoufou 27 Jan 18 - 11:08 AM
Thompson 27 Jan 18 - 10:22 AM
wysiwyg 27 Jan 18 - 09:34 AM
Senoufou 27 Jan 18 - 01:38 AM
Steve Shaw 26 Jan 18 - 07:05 PM
Senoufou 26 Jan 18 - 03:45 PM
Steve Shaw 26 Jan 18 - 03:17 PM
leeneia 26 Jan 18 - 12:39 PM
wysiwyg 24 Jan 18 - 04:07 PM
Donuel 24 Jan 18 - 10:16 AM
Senoufou 24 Jan 18 - 10:03 AM
wysiwyg 24 Jan 18 - 09:30 AM
leeneia 24 Jan 18 - 09:30 AM
Senoufou 24 Jan 18 - 06:59 AM
leeneia 23 Jan 18 - 06:36 PM
Steve Shaw 22 Jan 18 - 06:24 PM
Donuel 22 Jan 18 - 04:28 PM
Bill D 22 Jan 18 - 01:40 PM
kendall 22 Jan 18 - 01:07 PM
Bill D 22 Jan 18 - 11:50 AM
Senoufou 22 Jan 18 - 07:51 AM
Nigel Parsons 22 Jan 18 - 07:09 AM
wysiwyg 22 Jan 18 - 06:02 AM
Donuel 21 Jan 18 - 07:51 PM
Senoufou 21 Jan 18 - 04:11 AM
BobL 21 Jan 18 - 03:44 AM
Senoufou 20 Jan 18 - 05:25 PM
Gurney 20 Jan 18 - 05:10 PM
The Sandman 20 Jan 18 - 12:34 PM
leeneia 20 Jan 18 - 11:52 AM
Mr Red 18 Jan 18 - 11:48 AM
Will Fly 18 Jan 18 - 04:23 AM
Donuel 17 Jan 18 - 06:16 PM
Senoufou 17 Jan 18 - 01:40 PM
wysiwyg 17 Jan 18 - 01:22 PM
Penny S. 28 Feb 12 - 02:14 PM
gnu 28 Feb 12 - 01:52 PM
theleveller 28 Feb 12 - 08:54 AM
theleveller 28 Feb 12 - 08:44 AM
Penny S. 28 Feb 12 - 05:57 AM
Bill D 27 Feb 12 - 04:54 PM
Midchuck 27 Feb 12 - 03:59 PM
GUEST,Eliza 27 Feb 12 - 12:03 PM
wysiwyg 27 Feb 12 - 10:16 AM
GUEST,Eliza 03 Nov 11 - 04:23 PM
Donuel 03 Nov 11 - 02:59 PM
Lizzie Cornish 1 03 Nov 11 - 02:53 PM
wysiwyg 03 Nov 11 - 02:18 PM
Joe Offer 03 Jul 11 - 08:03 PM
Jeri 03 Jul 11 - 04:55 PM

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Subject: RE: BS: Indignities of Aging: the Sordid Truth
From: Senoufou
Date: 27 Jan 18 - 11:08 AM

Yet another thing I've noticed over the past few years is 'getting in supplies of stuff'. I always like to have 'one in use and a second one for when the first one runs out'. This means that there's always toothpaste in the bathroom cabinet and a spare tube in the storage cupboard. I seem to stockpile toilet rolls. And if I see a nice cardigan at a reasonable price, I'll get a second one in another colour, in case they stop making them. I'm obviously preparing for a siege!


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Subject: RE: BS: Indignities of Aging: the Sordid Truth
From: Thompson
Date: 27 Jan 18 - 10:22 AM

Apart from physical decrepitude and a passionate love of bargains (free films in the library every Tuesday! Over-68s get free passes to travel on buses and trains all over the country! Whee!) I find a distinct lack of tolerance for men who want to lecture me about how to be a woman, how to run women-only events, etc.


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Subject: RE: BS: Indignities of Aging: the Sordid Truth
From: wysiwyg
Date: 27 Jan 18 - 09:34 AM

"....that's another thing I've noticed: attachment to things.
I like my dear old tea towels, which are in fact an utter disgrace (faded and threadbare) I don't want new ones thank you...."

I was just reflecting ydy that this little retirement house could be titled, "My Patchwork Life," because as a lifelong renter till 2013, I've decorated it with fabrics I've had since my first apartment and in the ~45 years since then. Every piece evokes so many stories.

When I last purged my closet abt 5 years ago, I discarded the items that had seen me thru the weight gain resulting from a thyroid Dx 50 years late. The few pieces I'd loved (tent-size couture doesnt offer much in the way of fabric eye-candy), I cut into frame-able pieces. It's time for another purge of worn out clothes, now that I won't be living in two states anymore (with a full wardrobe in each house)

I haven't decided whether to put them in an album of pages to touch, or frame them for display on top of my kitchen cabinets. The answer will prob have to be-- BOTH! :-)


As far as divorce custody of thibgs, I'll enforce my choices with My Kitchen Knife; Hardi will defend his with His Gun. "When we appear on Forensic Files."

~S~


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Subject: RE: BS: Indignities of Aging: the Sordid Truth
From: Senoufou
Date: 27 Jan 18 - 01:38 AM

Hahaha Steve! Your divorce lawyer would have a rare old time formulating the papers, with sheets and sheets of lists of 'who gets what'.
Yet another thing I've noticed, particularly in my husband, is a strict adherence to routine. He does everything according to his set-in-stone schedule. If it's 10pm, a lovely cup of tea appears for me, bless him.
After he's cooked a Spicy Horror, the kitchen always gets a deep-clean (bless him again) Before getting into bed, we both solemnly fold our clothes like two Royal Valets. I find all this very reassuring. We both nowadays seem to need our routines. Couple of old codgers!


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Subject: RE: BS: Indignities of Aging: the Sordid Truth
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 26 Jan 18 - 07:05 PM

Attachment to things? I should say so. I've warned Mrs Steve that if we ever get divorced (which is as likely as a duff bottle of Hirondelle), there is a certain kitchen knife that she is NOT bloody having. And if she thinks she's getting my big lidded stainless steel frying pan, she's got another think coming. Then there is the question of my 30-year-old clock radio. She can sod off. It's mine. Do you hear, darling? MINE!


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Subject: RE: BS: Indignities of Aging: the Sordid Truth
From: Senoufou
Date: 26 Jan 18 - 03:45 PM

Yes, that's another thing I've noticed: attachment to things.
I like my dear old tea towels, which are in fact an utter disgrace (faded and threadbare) I don't want new ones thank you.
I'm also attached to my old saucepans. I love them, they seem to cook really well. I bet a set of new ones wouldn't do the job at all.

I also find myself talking to inanimate objects. I thanked the dishwasher this morning as the glasses were positively sparkling. And surreptitiously patted our Vauxhall Meriva car for getting us safely home from the supermarket.
Where will this end?


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Subject: RE: BS: Indignities of Aging: the Sordid Truth
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 26 Jan 18 - 03:17 PM

I've got a big old Sony laptop that uses Vista. I'll be devastated when it bites the dust. I've got an ancient cheapie that uses XP. Lovely. Windows 10? I just don't get it. I do most things on this ancient iPad these days. My MacBook is a complete mystery to me.


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Subject: RE: BS: Indignities of Aging: the Sordid Truth
From: leeneia
Date: 26 Jan 18 - 12:39 PM

That's why I"m going to stay with Windows 7 as long as possible. It works, so why should I change my routine?


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Subject: RE: BS: Indignities of Aging: the Sordid Truth
From: wysiwyg
Date: 24 Jan 18 - 04:07 PM

Change in routine, ditto! I just spent 65 years learning how to X, and I like my system!


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Subject: RE: BS: Indignities of Aging: the Sordid Truth
From: Donuel
Date: 24 Jan 18 - 10:16 AM

My ear embarrassed me yesterday When the school superintendent in charge of financial allocation said "Obviously the parents have done nothing" at which point I launched to a berating that the superintendent said he did not understand at which point my wife nudged me "he said the parents have done nothing wrong".

oh that's different, never mind.


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Subject: RE: BS: Indignities of Aging: the Sordid Truth
From: Senoufou
Date: 24 Jan 18 - 10:03 AM

'...ILL-TRAINED...' hahaha! Actually we've found Asda staff far less friendly than Tesco ones, so maybe they are ill-trained!
.
My sister has a thirty year-old daughter on the Aspergers spectrum, and she can get very freaked out by loud noise. But my pro-active sis rang up her local Scottish supermarket to point out the over-loud music and announcements. They were most understanding, and it was turned down considerably. They also have certain days/times when the lighting is reduced and all announcements (except urgent ones of course) are stopped, so that ADHD and autistic spectrum people can shop in comfort.
This must be a boon for parents of children who go into meltdown at loud noise.
(Sorry about the above thread drift)

Does anyone else, as they get older, get irritated by any change in routine? I get very grumpy if the postman is too early or much later than usual. I'm nice to him of course, but inside I'm getting a little agitated. I'm becoming resistant to change. Even products in the shops that have changed their wrapping; even Dave the gardener my old neighbour has over the road. He used to come to hers on Tuesdays and now it's Wednesdays. It's none of my blooming business is it? But I still feel put out! I really hate the new £5 and £10 notes, they're all plastic and one can't fold them properly. They burst out of one's purse when it's opened. Grumble grumble grumble....


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Subject: RE: BS: Indignities of Aging: the Sordid Truth
From: wysiwyg
Date: 24 Jan 18 - 09:30 AM

Senoufou, I DO find the younger US (smarmy) helpfulness patronising as soon as drive-thru workers see the gray hair that goes with my perky, order-placing voice-- but yes, I will take that senior discount thankyouverymuch.

OTOH, I don't find hands-on help patronizing at all, such as the small army of millennials breaking down my women's march table and carrying it and bags of gear to my car, as I sat on the running board answering other younguns' spontaneous questions.

That thing I described upthread about misread stuff-- in your post I read one bit as "ILL-trained...." ;-)

~S~


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Subject: RE: BS: Indignities of Aging: the Sordid Truth
From: leeneia
Date: 24 Jan 18 - 09:30 AM

Hi, Senoufou. I think the customer service reps appreciate your politeness and respond in kind. Age has nothing to do with it.

For environmental noise such as at the supermarket, I always carry earplugs, the soft, waxy kind such as the Mack brand. They are essential on airplanes and subways, and often come in handy at concerts. For a concert, I leave a little open edge so the plug softens the sound but doesn't block it completely.


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Subject: RE: BS: Indignities of Aging: the Sordid Truth
From: Senoufou
Date: 24 Jan 18 - 06:59 AM

I can't bear loud noises leeneia. We sometimes go to Asda supermarket for one or two items that are cheap, and the speaker system is absolutely deafening. It makes me jump out of my skin when it suddenly bellows, "ALL TILL-TRAINED STAFF TO THE CHECKOUTS!" or some such. We pay and hightail out of there as fast as we can!
This isn't a sign of ageing though, as I've always hated loud noise.

One thing I have noticed over the past couple of years is the change in customer service personnel on the telephone. They must hear my rather old-lady voice, and become much kinder and more understanding, as if the poor old dear is maybe a bit senile (perhaps I am!) I like it though, it isn't really patronising, just their way of being helpful. Their job must be trying at times (the public can be so rude and abrasive) so I always aim to be cheery and pleasant.


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Subject: RE: BS: Indignities of Aging: the Sordid Truth
From: leeneia
Date: 23 Jan 18 - 06:36 PM

"Don't shout as if my ears don't work "
===========
Too right. I was in a medical office recently, and the nurse spoke so loud that my arms shot straight up in the air in pain. She drew back, alarmed.

"Don't talk so loud," I said, "You're hurting me." She didn't apologize, but she started talking normally.

I believe she was the nurse who told my blood pressure was some number over 24. I decided not to worry about it.


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Subject: RE: BS: Indignities of Aging: the Sordid Truth
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 22 Jan 18 - 06:24 PM

Billy Connolly's song, sung to the tune of What A Friend We Have In Jesus.

Oh Jesus Christ, I'm nearly forty
My pubic hair is going grey
I can't cut the mustard like I used to
I think it's downhill all the way

And when you see me on the buses
Please don't offer me your seat
When you're crunching on those apples
I'll be sucking boiled sweets

Please don't leave me by the seaside
Don't shout as if my ears don't work
Never let me pee my trousers
Don't let me dribble down my shirt....


...And Billy's three golden rules for the over-60s:

Never pass up an opportunity to have a pee
Never waste an erection
Never trust a fart


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Subject: RE: BS: Indignities of Aging: the Sordid Truth
From: Donuel
Date: 22 Jan 18 - 04:28 PM

My guarantee for mediocracy is No rewrites for me
I write a ditty that's fun and I'm done
I don't even check my smelling


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Subject: RE: BS: Indignities of Aging: the Sordid Truth
From: Bill D
Date: 22 Jan 18 - 01:40 PM

The horse and mule live 30 years
And never knows of wines and beers
The goat and sheep at 20 die
Without a taste of scotch or rye.

The cow drinks water by the ton
And at 18 is mostly done.
The dog at 15 cashes in
Without the aid of rum or gin.

The modest, sober, bone-dry hen
Lays eggs for nogs and dies at 10.
But sinful, ginful, rum-soaked men
Survive three-score years and 10.

And some of us, though mighty few
Stay pickled 'til we're 92.


I'm working on it... ?>/big>


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Subject: RE: BS: Indignities of Aging: the Sordid Truth
From: kendall
Date: 22 Jan 18 - 01:07 PM

I know I shouldn't tell this, but most of you know that I seldom tell the truth anyway.;

My Doctor has a great sense of humor, and we get along like good friends. But, even he doesn't know when to ask me for the truth. Recently, he seriously6 looked right at me and asked, "Tell me, really, how are you? I said, "You know I'm 80 years old, and generally I am in excellent health, but, there are a couple of things that dont work like they used to." He didn't realize that I was baiting him, so, he said, "I can give you Viagra". I said, "Doc", I never call him Doc, "Giving me Viagra would be like putting a new flag pole on a condemned building.
He laughed for most of my visit..


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Subject: RE: BS: Indignities of Aging: the Sordid Truth
From: Bill D
Date: 22 Jan 18 - 11:50 AM

I wondered where this thread came from... then read it and found I had posted to it several times..
...so, I will add my favorite personal remark about age:

Years ago, I was standing near a group of teens, overheard one young lady lament: "OMG, next week I'm turning 20! I'm not gonna be a teenager any more!"

Unable to resist, I leaned close and in a serious tone said, "Hey... 20 is good! Nothing wrong with 20! Why, I liked it so well, I've done it 3 times!"

They just looked at me as if the idea made no sense.

If the opportunity came again, I'd say it differently... I'd say "I've done it 3 times and almost to the 4th!"

Yesterday, I climbed up a step ladder to do some cleaning and hang some light fixtures in out newly repaired attic. I remember often how many of my friends would not be able to.

*crossing fingers that I can continue to outlive my teeth*


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Subject: RE: BS: Indignities of Aging: the Sordid Truth
From: Senoufou
Date: 22 Jan 18 - 07:51 AM

Billy Connelly has said some very funny things about getting old.
I remember his remarks about grunting and groaning when one sits down or gets up out of a chair. I've noticed I tend to do the same, and I'm very strict with myself now. NO GROANING!

(Husband says I should spray myself with WD40 to ease the old joints!)

Anyone else notice that when one gets up in the morning, one's face is all creased and sort of moulded into a weird shape by the pillow? It takes a few minutes in the bath before it restores itself to normal.


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Subject: RE: BS: Indignities of Aging: the Sordid Truth
From: Nigel Parsons
Date: 22 Jan 18 - 07:09 AM

From memory, although I can't remember where I picked it up. Possibly the book of rugby songs:

Now you're growing old and feeble and your pilot light is out.
What used to be your sex appeal is now your water spout.
You used to be embarrassed just to make the thing behave,
For each and every morning it would stand to watch you shave.
But now you're old and feeble, and it sure gives you the blues
To see the thing hang down your leg, and watch you shine your shoes.


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Subject: RE: BS: Indignities of Aging: the Sordid Truth
From: wysiwyg
Date: 22 Jan 18 - 06:02 AM

Donuel, hubby and I have same issue w sugns seen when we drive. PWO!


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Subject: RE: BS: Indignities of Aging: the Sordid Truth
From: Donuel
Date: 21 Jan 18 - 07:51 PM

I don't need remotes to turn down the volume. I can just turn on my right side and let my left George Baily ear do the work. What I think is being said makes me laugh inappropriately. If I repeat what I thought I heard, with a cartoonist's cortex, people with poor English think I am making fun of them when its me I am poking fun at.


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Subject: RE: BS: Indignities of Aging: the Sordid Truth
From: Senoufou
Date: 21 Jan 18 - 04:11 AM

Lists are a Very Good Idea if, as you say, one remembers not to forget them!
I do plan menus in advance, and go round the house peering into cupboards, fridge, freezer and stores, checking food, toothpaste, loo rolls, cat food, washing machine detergent etc.
Luckily my brilliant husband takes charge, so I write the lists in French. He ticks off each item with a pen. He seems to know what we're running low on, and makes suggestions. He's an absolute angel!

He does the checkout (I have to rest on a seat) and trundles the lot back to the car. I sink into my passenger seat exhausted.

One of the indignities of ageing is that one gets tired rather easily. I always worry that he thinks I'm blooming lazy, but I reckon he understands.


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Subject: RE: BS: Indignities of Aging: the Sordid Truth
From: BobL
Date: 21 Jan 18 - 03:44 AM

Lists are all very well if you've planned the week's menus in advance. And remember to bring them.


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Subject: RE: BS: Indignities of Aging: the Sordid Truth
From: Senoufou
Date: 20 Jan 18 - 05:25 PM

Oh those 'senior moments'! We foolishly went to the big supermarket today - it's always going like a fair on a Saturday, and is the Back End of Hell. I found myself standing in front of some shelves trying hard to remember what it was I needed, causing a major obstruction in the aisle and much tutting from folk trying to get past.

I'd made a very workmanlike list before leaving the house. Husband waved it at me patiently as I stood there transfixed like a right dolly.
I'd forgotten about the list...


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Subject: RE: BS: Indignities of Aging: the Sordid Truth
From: Gurney
Date: 20 Jan 18 - 05:10 PM

I thought I might make a contribution to this thread, so I read down it... and found that I had. Three times.


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Subject: RE: BS: Indignities of Aging: the Sordid Truth
From: The Sandman
Date: 20 Jan 18 - 12:34 PM

dont sing shanties .. how ridiculous


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Subject: RE: BS: Indignities of Aging: the Sordid Truth
From: leeneia
Date: 20 Jan 18 - 11:52 AM

I am subject to certain indignities of aging, but I've decided not to dwell on them and to enjoy all the life I can. I don't even cringe when somebody sneers "Metamucil!".

On Sunday we went out in the country to look for snowy owls. Didn't find any, but would you believe we saw bluebirds in the bare trees and snow-covered fields? They don't migrate to the warm south.


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Subject: RE: BS: Indignities of Aging: the Sordid Truth
From: Mr Red
Date: 18 Jan 18 - 11:48 AM

It is definitely not a function of diet. well being analytical for a moment - I think you would find diet is a factor, amongst others like DNA and anno domini. The problem is how to analyse, like eating one thing only, then introducing one food, then another until.............. skid marks.

And on the subject of menapause: I have advised my two neices to mug up on the subject (in their 20s). Both were firmly of the opinion that it wasn't going to happen for so long it was not worth it. My rejoinder was to arm them with enough knowledge so that there was no surprise. The oldest is now in her 40s and, well, I hope she listened.

With any luck they will fall into the 50% trouble free cohort, but it is an even bet they won't. And it is 5 to 1 against them suffering like their grandmother. I was too young and widowed mothers didn't discuss such things with teenage sons. But I have since been close to one lass who had severe problems. And two lasses who didn't. There - I am average by association!

My message here is: find out before it is necessary. To know what might be involved, and how to cope. Knowledge is power.

Now - if I suffer a stroke, will my brain be cute enough to recognise the situation, recall the knowledge I have stored, and act? I suspect not, but hell! I intend to try.


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Subject: RE: BS: Indignities of Aging: the Sordid Truth
From: Will Fly
Date: 18 Jan 18 - 04:23 AM

I looked at the beginning of this thread - it's almost 10 years since it started - and noted the ages disclosed by some of posters. Some of those who posted then are with us now (hurray!), some have flown to the great Session in the Sky, and others? I don't know...

I'm 74 this year, but it's only in the last few months that the doc saw me and, after a routine blood test, prescribed pills for blood pressure, low vitamin D and statins - all as preventative measures against strokes, cardiac problems, etc. Do I feel any different? Nope. Has my lifestyle changed? Nope - I still do gigs, do lots of walking and apart from the odd ache and pain of being 70+, don't feel too bad.

But will I be able to say that on the 20th anniversary of this thread. Mum died at 91, Dad at 93 - so who knows?


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Subject: RE: BS: Indignities of Aging: the Sordid Truth
From: Donuel
Date: 17 Jan 18 - 06:16 PM

As my pilot light gets smaller I've learned to see by the wise light of Susan's flame.

More or less, sometimes less is more.

Forgive the small stuff, fight the big.


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Subject: RE: BS: Indignities of Aging: the Sordid Truth
From: Senoufou
Date: 17 Jan 18 - 01:40 PM

I have three:-

Don't judge or criticise too readily until you can see the whole picture.

Be kind whenever possible.

Share gladly what you have with those who don't have.


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Subject: RE: BS: Indignities of Aging: the Sordid Truth
From: wysiwyg
Date: 17 Jan 18 - 01:22 PM

Well, since the threads still open, maybe it's a mistake... but I'll still hijack it myself-- to a related topic.

First I must say it was bittersweet re-reading the foregoing posts. I want to know how everyone is now, 10 years on--and too many are not here to answer. Some, permanently. I hope their posts bring a smile.

Second, I wanted to re-answer almost every post, but won't.
.

.
THE HIJACK: Life hacks that come to you now in your older age.

Mine:

1. Don't put all your warm, snuggly long underwear in the same wash load until summer.

2. Don't explain anything until asked FMI.

3. Always stand up for the victim-- especially yourself, and without apology.
.

~Susan


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Subject: RE: BS: Indignities of Aging: the Sordid Truth
From: Penny S.
Date: 28 Feb 12 - 02:14 PM

Now why is it that I can take no offence at that, and have left another website because of some infantile ad feminem abuse?

Penny


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Subject: RE: BS: Indignities of Aging: the Sordid Truth
From: gnu
Date: 28 Feb 12 - 01:52 PM

Penny... "... this presumably is related to the habit of men of sitting on double bus seats in such a way that their legs are splayed apart and anyone on the other part of the seat has about nine inches to perch on."

Oh my. Oh dear. No, I shant say it. Sorry, Spaw. I am not worthy yet.

Oh, what the hell.

Penny... I thought the girls liked to perch on nine inches.


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Subject: RE: BS: Indignities of Aging: the Sordid Truth
From: theleveller
Date: 28 Feb 12 - 08:54 AM

...and use a good anti-ageing serum/moisturiser.


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Subject: RE: BS: Indignities of Aging: the Sordid Truth
From: theleveller
Date: 28 Feb 12 - 08:44 AM

"I am so taken aback by the knowledge of the sagginess of men's anatomy "

Me too! I'm 63 and see no signs of that happening yet. My recipe for maintaining a bit of dignity as you grow older is don't grow a beard, don't wear a ponytail, don't wear trainers, don't sing shanties - and don't let your meat loaf. (The shanty bit is particularly important.)


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Subject: RE: BS: Indignities of Aging: the Sordid Truth
From: Penny S.
Date: 28 Feb 12 - 05:57 AM

There are various articles in the New Scientist about the naturalness of afternoon naps. There is a known tendency for there to be a second small peak in driving accidents due to nodding off in the early afternoon, matching the large one in the small hours. There are changes in the pattern of brainwaves at the time. Or that's my excuse.

There is a matching pattern of waking briefly in the night, historically recorded.

I am so taken aback by the knowledge of the sagginess of men's anatomy - this presumably is related to the habit of men of sitting on double bus seats in such a way that their legs are splayed apart and anyone on the other part of the seat has about nine inches to perch on. All my life I have regarded this behaviour as reprehensible, and now I learn it is a disability of old age. Oh dear.

Penny


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Subject: RE: BS: Indignities of Aging: the Sordid Truth
From: Bill D
Date: 27 Feb 12 - 04:54 PM

"... never trust a fart."

Hmm,... I see the point of the admonition, but I am almost always able to judge the ....um... likely results. I can just 'feel' the state of my innards.

It may have 20-30 years since I had a 'problem', and that was when I was caught away from the house. I guess I am lucky....


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Subject: RE: BS: Indignities of Aging: the Sordid Truth
From: Midchuck
Date: 27 Feb 12 - 03:59 PM

I just read this whole thread. I had never read it before, since I made it to 70 in pretty good shape. As soon as I turned 70, it hit the fan, and now I'm recovering from a triple bypass and have time on my hands to read long threads.

I was impressed by Jacqui's admonition in '07:

I've said before, as you get older, never trust a fart. That is one of the lessons you need to learn FAST!

Several people on the thread made the same point. But in her case, there's a degree of ambiguity. Was she talking bowels, or marriage?

P.


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Subject: RE: BS: Indignities of Aging: the Sordid Truth
From: GUEST,Eliza
Date: 27 Feb 12 - 12:03 PM

But surely one could have a little 'nip and tuck' procedure for droopy goolies? The scrotum could simply be reduced or hitched up in some way, probably under a local anaesthetic? Then one could sit on the loo with Little Lefty and Righty well up out of the water.


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Subject: RE: BS: Indignities of Aging: the Sordid Truth
From: wysiwyg
Date: 27 Feb 12 - 10:16 AM

Couldn't resist:

===

Subject: RE: BS: Technical sh*t. No really!
From: catspaw49 - PM
Date: 26 Feb 12 - 07:08 PM

Actually VT, I wish I had one like that. Men pass through several periods of life that are marked by bag changes. When you're young they are up real tight and as a young man they seem a bit lower but very functional. Then it seems as you age they become less functional while growing lower, or perhaps just sagging. You first notice this when you sit on your nuts. Its a strange thing as they were never there before and then.....SMASH.....GASP!!!!!

Then as you come to the end of middle age or thereabouts you get a trmendous shock. One day you sit down on the can and your balls drop into the water. At first you blame it on the high water level in the toilet but in your heart you know the truth......old age has begun. I've often thought that instead of a special discount card which some states issue to those over 55 (Golden Buckeye in Ohio) or an AARP card to use for deals on rental cars and motels and the like, all a man should need are his nuts.

"Are you eligible for our seniors discount?"
Man drops trou
"Ah, yes sir, I see that you are."

I fear the point at which they not only drop in the water, but I don't notice.............................


Spaw


===

~S~


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Subject: RE: BS: Indignities of Aging: the Sordid Truth
From: GUEST,Eliza
Date: 03 Nov 11 - 04:23 PM

Yes! Afternoon naps! I used to feel so guilty about nodding off mid-afternoon. I'd say "Er... very late night last night..." Which was a pack of lies, as I've always gone to bed early. Now I do not care. I go to bed at 3pm, undress and get under the duvet (no dozing in a chair for me!) and sleep blissfully for at least an hour. I wake up very refreshed and ready for the evening. When you're getting on a bit, you care less and less what people think. You realise it just doesn't matter.


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Subject: RE: BS: Indignities of Aging: the Sordid Truth
From: Donuel
Date: 03 Nov 11 - 02:59 PM

Break a tail light in your twenties and its blamed on the impetuous impatience of youth, Do so in your 60's and one's entire competence is questioned. But two tail lights in one year is still a bit suspicious. (Both at gas stations when forced to back out)


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Subject: RE: BS: Indignities of Aging: the Sordid Truth
From: Lizzie Cornish 1
Date: 03 Nov 11 - 02:53 PM

I like growing older, because you suddenly start to see Twinkling in Ol' Men's Eyes, that you never noticed before...and when you catch that Twinkle, especially if it's directed at you, you see them as young men again..

It's kinda magical...and well worth the wait. ;0)


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Subject: RE: BS: Indignities of Aging: the Sordid Truth
From: wysiwyg
Date: 03 Nov 11 - 02:18 PM

Excerpt from a HS friend (my age, we made it to our late 50's!?!?!?) always much "fitter" than I, via email:

"....at our "advanced ages" my physician suggested that I drive no more than 8 hours a day to maintain 1) sanity; 2) body. I followed his advice on the way down to FL last year; however, on the way back I wanted to make time so I drove from FL to Chi in two 11-hour days. I will NEVER do that again. I was wrecked for a week-– and that was before I pinched the nerve in my back! [So-- when planning a trip--] ... take your time and arrive healthy...."

===

How to tell if you are still doing purty much OK--

Are you IN the nursing home, or visiting the nursing home?

Are you toting an instrument... or planning on playing that piano or house guitar that's already there?

Are you changing someone else's Depends, or your own? (Or are you NOT changing your own nor asking for help?

When it turns out it was NOT a fart, do you know that on your own.... or do you need someone else to tell you?

~S~


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Subject: RE: BS: Indignities of Aging: the Sordid Truth
From: Joe Offer
Date: 03 Jul 11 - 08:03 PM

Never being able to trust a fart to be "just" a fart...


I see this has been posted before. It's a universal malady for our generation, and I'm just too young to be having to deal with this.

-Joe-

P.S. I do recommend the "afternoon nap," though.


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Subject: RE: BS: Indignities of Aging: the Sordid Truth
From: Jeri
Date: 03 Jul 11 - 04:55 PM

999, I don't try to blame the farts on someone else. Fortunately (or "un"), my hearing is, despite Pink Floyd, Black Sabbath and the rest of the 70s, still mostly perfect. I think with age comes the ability to say "so my ass made a noise. Big deal--get over it". I used to make fun of my mother (in a totally loving kid-giving-parent-crap way) when she got one of those walking-related semi-automatic butt-fire episodes. Then she laughed at me because she didn't give a shit-- literally, which is always a good thing when one is walking.

So now, I toot. I vaguely remember being embarrassed about that sort of thing, but I guess I got over it.


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