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BS: 10 commandments...west virginia style
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Subject: BS: 10 commandments...west virginia style From: tarheel Date: 07 May 07 - 05:08 PM I like this.... black and white....plain & simple.. easy to understand!! 10 Commandments West Virginia Style Some people in West Virginia have trouble with all those "shalls" and"shall nots" in the Ten commandments. Folks just aren't used to talking in those terms.........so, some folks In middle West Virginia got together and translated the "King James" into " Mineral County " language. The Hillbilly's Ten Commandments (posted on the wall at Mineral County Court House in Keyser , WV.) 1) Just one God (2) Honor yer Ma & Pa (3) No tellin' tales or gossipin' (4) Git yourself to Sunday meetin' (5) Put nothin' before God (6) No foolin' around with another fellow's gal (7) No killin' (8) Watch yer mouth! (9) Don't take what ain't yers (10) Don't be hankerin' for yer buddy's stuff Now that's kinda plain an' simple, don't ya think? Y'all have a nice day now, ya hear! |
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Subject: RE: BS: 10 commandments...west virginia style From: gnu Date: 07 May 07 - 05:15 PM No killin'? But, PA! Ahm hungry! |
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Subject: RE: BS: 10 commandments...west virginia style From: Stringsinger Date: 07 May 07 - 05:18 PM Tarheel, you left one out. No Everlution. Plain, simple and ignorant. Frank Hamilton |
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Subject: RE: BS: 10 commandments...west virginia style From: Wesley S Date: 07 May 07 - 05:23 PM Frank - It's a joke. Lighten up. |
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Subject: RE: BS: 10 commandments...west virginia style From: Stilly River Sage Date: 07 May 07 - 05:39 PM It's never really a joke with tarheel, Wesley, you know that! It's a preamble. |
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Subject: RE: BS: 10 commandments...west virginia style From: diesel Date: 07 May 07 - 05:40 PM I personally like number 11 'Don't get caught' 11 by the way is of the '15' originals - Moses dropped one of the tablets !! Wonder what the other 4 were ? Diesel |
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Subject: RE: BS: 10 commandments...west virginia style From: Stilly River Sage Date: 07 May 07 - 05:47 PM Ask Mel Brooks. |
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Subject: RE: BS: 10 commandments...west virginia style From: Amos Date: 07 May 07 - 05:53 PM "Apply these commandments to others." probably is one of them... A |
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Subject: RE: BS: 10 commandments...west virginia style From: Sorcha Date: 07 May 07 - 09:12 PM And here he is again, to start the pot boiling then dissapear. Same as the immigrant thread. Chuck, you really ought to find a right wing hypocritical 'Christian' forum to post to. I hesitiate to call you a Christian...most of the time you sure don't act like one. |
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Subject: RE: BS: 10 commandments...west virginia style From: Mrrzy Date: 07 May 07 - 10:14 PM Not bad - I found the "10 commandments for teenagers" once on a city park bulletin board - things like You should only worship god, not a rock star. Of course I made them take it down... |
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Subject: RE: BS: 10 commandments...west virginia style From: Don Firth Date: 07 May 07 - 11:07 PM There's one commandment that subsumes all the rest (at least the most reasonable ones). Thou shalt not commit nincompoopery.Don Firth |
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Subject: RE: BS: 10 commandments...west virginia style From: Peace Date: 07 May 07 - 11:19 PM The good Christian got the order of the Commandments mixed up. |
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Subject: RE: BS: 10 commandments...west virginia style From: TIA Date: 07 May 07 - 11:39 PM Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's wife.. Nor thy neighbor's ass... Nor thy neighbor's wife's ass. |
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Subject: RE: BS: 10 commandments...west virginia style From: Cool Beans Date: 08 May 07 - 12:38 PM Lee Hays saud the 11th commandment is: Never give up a grudge. |
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Subject: RE: BS: 10 commandments...west virginia style From: GUEST,Russ Date: 08 May 07 - 02:52 PM tarheel, Are you a West Virginian? Russ (Permanent GUEST and WV Expat) |
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Subject: RE: BS: 10 commandments...west virginia style From: diesel Date: 08 May 07 - 05:30 PM Or Do unto others as they would do unto you - only do it first ! |
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Subject: RE: BS: 10 commandments...west virginia style From: kendall Date: 08 May 07 - 07:59 PM Since Clinton they added a new one: Thou shalt not rod thy staff. |
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Subject: RE: BS: 10 commandments...west virginia style From: Sorcha Date: 08 May 07 - 09:03 PM Oh, BAD Kendall! Jacqui!!!! |
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Subject: RE: BS: 10 commandments...west virginia style From: Peace Date: 08 May 07 - 09:08 PM Ol' Clinton seemed to be of the opinion that to spare the rod was to spoil the child. |
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Subject: RE: BS: 10 commandments...west virginia style From: Sorcha Date: 08 May 07 - 09:37 PM And, ref above...no, tarheel isn't a W. Virginian. He's a tarheel, from N. Carolina. He doesn't come back to check stuff, just to start garbage. |
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Subject: RE: BS: 10 commandments...west virginia style From: GUEST,Russ Date: 09 May 07 - 08:55 AM Sorcha, Thought so. |
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Subject: RE: BS: 10 commandments...west virginia style From: wysiwyg Date: 09 May 07 - 09:00 AM And because so many people don't get along with him, they refresh these threads over and over again just to take a whack at him. Who does THAT help? ~:) ~S~ |
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Subject: RE: BS: 10 commandments...west virginia style From: MaineDog Date: 09 May 07 - 09:10 AM If you really need to figure out who's a Christian and who isn't, the best place to start is with the guy in the mirror. MD |
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Subject: RE: BS: 10 commandments...west virginia style From: Peace Date: 09 May 07 - 09:41 AM It ain't about BEing a Christian. It's about espousing that you ARE one but aren't. |
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Subject: RE: BS: 10 commandments...west virginia style From: Sorcha Date: 09 May 07 - 09:56 AM Ta, Peace. I'm not one and don't claim to be. Strokes for folks. |
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Subject: RE: BS: 10 commandments...west virginia style From: Wilfried Schaum Date: 10 May 07 - 03:16 AM Nr 11 in German student circles, since centuries: Thou shalt continue drinking. That's why the number 11 is often found in the arms of fun societies over here. |
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Subject: RE: BS: 10 commandments...west virginia style From: GUEST,Ingrid Frances Stark Date: 10 May 07 - 03:58 AM I have heard the 11th Commandment stated as: Thou shalt not hand the Lord thy God a staright line. Then again, I did marry a comic.... Ingrid Frances Stark |
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Subject: RE: BS: 10 commandments...west virginia style From: Little Hawk Date: 10 May 07 - 12:25 PM # 11 'Don't get caught' should be: "Don't git caught!" # 12 "Don't quit feudin' till ALL of the varmints is dead!" # 13 "Never carry a unloaded gun!" # 14 "Honor the Stars and Bars." # 15 "Never trust a Yankee." # 16 "Only accept cash for moonshine. NO checks! NO I.O.U.'s!" # 17 "Don't marry till yer darlin' is at least 12 years old." # 18 "The South will rise again!" |
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Subject: RE: BS: 10 commandments...west virginia style From: Ebbie Date: 10 May 07 - 04:29 PM #14: Little Hawk, West Virginia went with the Union. #18: See revised #14 By the way, the mean spiritedness of this is depressing. West Virginia is a beautiful state. People who buy into stereotypes are being ignorant. |
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Subject: RE: BS: 10 commandments...west virginia style From: Bobert Date: 10 May 07 - 07:48 PM Well, okay, technically speakin', Wes Ginny did side with the Union but havin' lived there for 20 years it'd be hard to believe... There is more rebel flags there than I think in the rest of the world combined... But, really, I thought they did a purdy good job of bringing the Ten Commandments down to what folks couldn't say, "Hey, I didn't realize I was sinnin', 'er nuthin'.... Purdy funny, too... Yeeeeeehawwwwwwwww.... Get 'er done... BObert |
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Subject: RE: BS: 10 commandments...west virginia style From: frogprince Date: 10 May 07 - 08:32 PM If you google "cowboys ten commandments", you'll find the same "version" under that name, attributed to a church in Texas. We received it in an e-mail months ago, and I considered posting it myself just for fun. I suspect that, if I had, the thread would barely have caused a blip either way. Oh, well... Dean. |
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Subject: RE: BS: 10 commandments...west virginia style From: Peace Date: 10 May 07 - 08:54 PM There IS a difference, frogprince. You are that difference. |
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Subject: RE: BS: 10 commandments...west virginia style From: Little Hawk Date: 10 May 07 - 10:21 PM Gee whillikers, Ebbie...you tellin' a Civil War nut like me what side Wes Ginny was on? I know danged well they was on the Union side...but that don't mean there warn't a lot of southern sympathizers in Wes Ginny...both then and now. There were a lot in Maryland too, and Maryland was technically on the Union side as well. This is not a question of buying into those stereotypes, Ebbie, it is a question of sending them up by stretching them to the final ridiculous extreme. How anyone can take it seriously as a real attack on the good citizens of West Virginia is beyond me. |
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Subject: RE: BS: 10 commandments...west virginia style From: Little Hawk Date: 10 May 07 - 10:30 PM You see...I am satirizing the ignorance and stereotyping. Understood? Has that not been the basis of a simply tremendous amount of popular humor in the last hundred years or so? For instance, Red Skelton satirized common stereotypes about country bumpkins with characters like Clem Kadiddlehopper. This was clearly not because Red Skelton really thought country people were all dumb hayseeds, was it? And country people did not take offence from the satire, they loved it. |
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Subject: RE: BS: 10 commandments...west virginia style From: Ebbie Date: 10 May 07 - 11:49 PM Hey, man, I wasn't too serious there- meant it as kind of a rhetorical comment. |
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Subject: RE: BS: 10 commandments...west virginia style From: robomatic Date: 11 May 07 - 10:06 AM THE TEN COMMANDMENTS OF TRACTOR SAFETY 1. Know your tractor, its implements and how they work. Please read and understand the Operator's Manual(s) before operating the equipment. Also, keep your equipment in good condition. 2. Use ROPS and seat belt whenever and wherever applicable. If your tractor has a foldable ROPS, fold it down only when absolutely necessary and fold it up and lock it again as soon as possible. Do not wear the seat belt when the ROPS is folded. Most tractor fatalities are caused by overturns. 3. Be familiar with your terrain and work area - walk the area first to be sure and drive safely. Use special caution on slopes, slow down for all turns and stay off the highway whenever possible. 4. Never start an engine in a closed shed or garage. Exhaust gas contains carbon monoxide, which is colorless, odorless - and deadly. 5. Always keep your PTO properly shielded. Make it a habit to walk around your tractor and PTO driven implement - never over, through or between the tractor and implement, particularly if either is running. The PTO rotates with enough speed and strength to kill you. 6. Keep your hitches low and always on the drawbar. Otherwise, your tractor might flip over backwards. 7. Never get off a moving tractor or leave it with its engine running. Shut it down before leaving the seat. A runaway tractor can be extremely dangerous. 8. Never refuel while the engine is running or hot. Additionally, do not add coolant to the radiator while the engine is hot; hot coolant can erupt and scald. 9. Keep all children off and away from your tractor and its implements at all times. Children are generally attracted to tractors and the work they do. However, a tractor's work is not child's play. Remember, a child's disappointment is fleeting, while your memory of his or her injury or death resulting from riding the tractor with you, or being too close, will last a lifetime. 10. Never be in a hurry or take chances about anything you do with your tractor. Think safety first, then take your time and do it right. |
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Subject: RE: BS: 10 commandments...west virginia style From: GUEST,Russ Date: 11 May 07 - 10:48 AM Little Hawk, Are you a West Virginian? Call me touchy but it is one thing for West Virginians to tell WV jokes, it is something else for non-West Virginians to do so. Suppose we changed the thread title to "10 commandents..North Carolina style" in honor of the starter of this thread. How would North Carolinians respond to that? Anyway, Virginia seceded from the union, WV seceded from VA Webster County tried to secede from WV. They referred to themselves as "The Independent State of Webster." Russ (Permanent GUEST and expat West Virginian) |
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Subject: RE: BS: 10 commandments...west virginia style From: Little Hawk Date: 11 May 07 - 12:56 PM No, I'm a Canadian, and I love jokes which stereotype Canadians as toque-wearing halfwits who chug maple syrup, have a 35-man armed forces with a couple of snowmobiles and a crop duster, and say "eh?" at the end of every sentence. ;-) I know not to take it seriously, eh? I would really relish a thread like this on the "10 Commandments - Canada Style". It would be interesting to see what people came up with, and it would probably tell me something about the mythology out there. Regarding the tractor stuff, robomatic: We had a neighbour who unfortunately drove over his 10-year old son, Johnnie, with a full sized tractor while doing some farm work. The main wheel went right over the boy's midriff. Johnnie survived, amazingly enough, but his health was never right again afterward. That boy was the strongest kid for his age that I have ever seen, and I guess that is what accounts for the fact that it didn't kill him outright. He had the kind of physique that would lead a person to become a professional wrestler in adulthood. |
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Subject: RE: BS: 10 commandments...west virginia style From: Little Hawk Date: 11 May 07 - 02:08 PM Hey, Russ, note that I have done my best to take the heat off West Virginia and put it on Canada instead. Check out the other 10 Commandments thread. |
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Subject: RE: BS: 10 commandments...west virginia style From: GUEST,petr Date: 11 May 07 - 02:14 PM Stephen Colbert had some Congressman on who fought to keep the 10commandments listed in public places but when he was asked to list them he could only come up with 3.. |
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Subject: RE: BS: 10 commandments...west virginia style From: Little Hawk Date: 11 May 07 - 02:15 PM That is truly sad. ;-) |
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Subject: RE: BS: 10 commandments...west virginia style From: GUEST Date: 12 May 07 - 01:23 PM robo, I hope those 10 are up in a lot of barns. but the 'caution on slopes' is lost on tractor guys. They need something serious like 'shalt not attempt an X degree slope head on, nor an X-degree slope alongside the crest.' ( don't know what x is but someone oughta) So many fatal turnovers out there. |
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Subject: RE: BS: 10 commandments...west virginia style From: Stringsinger Date: 12 May 07 - 03:39 PM It's a poor joke Wesley. Unfortunately there are many who think the Commandments should be taken seriously. I'm glad you don't. That speaks well of you. Frank |
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Subject: RE: BS: 10 commandments...west virginia style From: GUEST,Gza Date: 12 May 07 - 04:05 PM If you mean the Ten Commandments, strinsinger...I don't see any harm in taking most of them seriously since most of them fall pretty much in line with our normal ideas of good social morality, whether or not we believe in "God" or belong to some organized religion. Here are some of the alternatives to the 10 Commandments, in fact (but not in the same order): 1. Dishonor your parents. Show them no respect. 2. Kill people. 3. Rob people. 4. Worship a large variety of deities, and play favorites among them. 5. Construct idols, and worship them too. 6. Commit adultery whenever and wherever the opportunity presents itself. 7. Tell lies. Do not be truthful. 8. If you've decided that there is a God, give only a paltry measure of your love and respect to that God, and have other gods and idols that you give a good deal more of your love and respect to. 9. Furthermore, use the name of God in all sorts of spurious and vain ways whenever it seems momentarily advantageous. 10. If you've decided on a holy day, when it comes around do all sorts of things to defile it. 11. Covet everything your neighbour has...his house, his car, his job, his wife, his haircut, his dog, his reputation, you name it. Covet till you turn green! And remember that the other commandments (2 & 3 above) give you the right to kill your neighbour and steal the things he has which you covet! Wow. What a system! And you get 11 instead of 10. Bonus! "This one goes to eleven..." Sounds like a perfect set of rules for a complete moron and social degenerate, doesn't it? ;-D |
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Subject: RE: BS: 10 commandments...west virginia style From: Stilly River Sage Date: 12 May 07 - 04:40 PM If you mean the Ten Commandments, strinsinger...I don't see any harm in taking most of them seriously since most of them fall pretty much in line with our normal ideas of good social morality, whether or not we believe in "God" or belong to some organized religion. Guest, GZA, your counter-commandment examples work only if you operate on a reductive binary, where the choice is either/or, not something rational in between. Tarheel must derive a great deal of pleasure from these threads--post on specious remark and the place takes off. SRS |
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Subject: RE: BS: 10 commandments...west virginia style From: GUEST,Gza Date: 12 May 07 - 05:00 PM I am merely pointing out, SRS, that a number of the simple moral concepts expressed in the 10 Commandments are worthy of being taken seriously in any human civilization...whether or not you follow some organized religion. In fact, they are mostly ideas found in all well known religions and societal moral codes...not just the Judeo-Christian and Muslim traditions. |
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Subject: RE: BS: 10 commandments...west virginia style From: GUEST,CrazyEddie Date: 14 May 07 - 11:24 AM TIA, when you say: Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's wife.. Nor thy neighbor's ass... Nor thy neighbor's wife's ass. Does that imply that it OK to covet thy neighbour's ass's wife? |
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Subject: RE: BS: 10 commandments...west virginia style From: GUEST,Gza Date: 14 May 07 - 01:28 PM Not relevant. The male ass does not marry, it simply engages in random acts of sexual opportunity with willing females, and providing that a larger, more aggressive male does not prevent it from doing so. In this respect, it is typical of herd animals. |
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Subject: RE: BS: 10 commandments...west virginia style From: Stilly River Sage Date: 14 May 07 - 02:15 PM GZA, you mistake me. . . .a number of the simple moral concepts expressed in the 10 Commandments . . . [snip] they are mostly ideas found in all well known religions and societal moral codes...not just the Judeo-Christian and Muslim traditions. I object to the suggestion that "moral codes" belong in the domain of religious traditions. Organized religions have pretty well screwed up the ancient philosophers' concept of "morality" as they try to impress upon their followers that churches are the source or the best place to cultivate "morals" and then spike the recipe with their own dogmas. Morality taught within many religions appear to come with a huge set of blinders as far as regarding the rights of the rest of the world in self-determination. Moral codes influence mores and folkways to such an extent that intolerance is the natural by-product. Take morality away from the churches and let the secular humanists have another crack at it. SRS |
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Subject: RE: BS: 10 commandments...west virginia style From: GUEST,Gza Date: 14 May 07 - 02:35 PM Agreed, SRS, but in an age when virtually everyone was nominally religious it was natural for them to structure moral codes within their religious teachings, and it would have drawn objections from no one at the time. It would have been the height of normality to do so. Intolerance springs out of a lack of willingness to freely let other people be "different" from oneself and one's peer group. This is why it is commonly found not only in the field of religion, but in virtually all other fields of interest as well. Thus one has racial intolerance, political intolerance, cultural intolerance, intolerance of other nationalities, intolerance of those who adopt a different hairstyle or have a different opinion...it just goes on and on. To seemingly lay all (or most) of these problems of intolerance at the feet of "organized religion" (which seems to be the unstated purpose of this thread and of many on it) is simply to demonstrate that one is onself intolerant....OF religion. In other words, a case of the pot calling the kettle black. ;-D |
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Subject: RE: BS: 10 commandments...west virginia style From: Stilly River Sage Date: 14 May 07 - 02:58 PM No, I'm not a the pot arguing against your kettle. I'm looking at world history and, for a slam-dunk example, the many wars fought in the name of religion. And I'm on very solid philosophical ground in my objections to the over-arching power and influence of industrial religions. |
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Subject: RE: BS: 10 commandments...west virginia style From: GUEST,Gza Date: 14 May 07 - 03:09 PM How many wars have really been fought over money and control of land and resources? In how many of those wars was religion used as a red herring simply to motivate the fighters? Of course wars are fought in the name of religion. They are also fought in the name of "freedom". In both cases it is a cynical and opportunistic propaganda technique used to brainwash the common people. The real reason for the wars is the age-old reason behind all wars: an attempt by the strong and ruthless to steal someone else's land, money, and resources. Religion is a handy propaganda tool for the powerful, that's all, and it will always be used by those in power if they can find any way to use it. You can also use anti-religious dogma in exactly the same manner. Marxists did so again and again in Russia, in China, in East Asia, in Africa, and in doing so they slaughtered millions of innocent people. So the hatred OF religion, when translated into aggressive political action, has proven to be just as vicious as the religiously inspired political actions it was fulminating against. Ironical, isn't it? Many pots calling many kettles black. |
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Subject: RE: BS: 10 commandments...west virginia style From: Stilly River Sage Date: 14 May 07 - 03:59 PM I think your portion of the kettle is a syllogistic fallacy and a religion apologist. So you'll have to pardon me from wasting any more time discussing this with you, because I don't think you'll understand my reluctance to let you restate what I characterized as my view of the world and the situation that religion has left it in. SRS |
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Subject: RE: BS: 10 commandments...west virginia style From: GUEST,Gza Date: 14 May 07 - 05:20 PM Likewise. You won't let go of your right to be deeply prejudiced against religion, and why should I waste my time trying to get you to? I am no fan of organized religion. Neither am I a fan of blind prejudice, masquerading as a zeal to save the world from organized religion, just because you don't subscribe to it. |
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Subject: RE: BS: 10 commandments...west virginia style From: GUEST,Gza Date: 14 May 07 - 05:46 PM All I am arguing for, you should note, is that religious people should respect non-religious people and not judge them for their choice of non-belief...and non-religious people should respect religious people and not judge them for their choice of belief. Equally. Both should respect the other and forgo labelling the other as "wrong". Apparently, that is an attitude of mutual allowance and mutual respect that doesn't suit the people who are blathering away on this thread beating to death their favorite hobby horse, which is their presumption that religion is the worst thing that ever happened to the world. No matter how you twist and turn and wiggle and squirm, it always amounts to one basic stand: you're prejudiced, but you don't realize it. You think you're smarter, better, and more right about life than religious people, and you think you have every right to your chosen form of prejudice...and that makes you just as wrong as the religious people who think that same way twisted about you. You all deserve each other...all you "my way is the only right way" people, and you would do better to leave less judgemental, more tolerant people alone to live in peace with one another. |
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Subject: RE: BS: 10 commandments...west virginia style From: Stilly River Sage Date: 14 May 07 - 05:48 PM You're still on that reductive binary. |
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Subject: RE: BS: 10 commandments...west virginia style From: GUEST,Gza Date: 14 May 07 - 05:58 PM I'm saying treat religious people as you wish they would treat you. Leave them alone. Do not judge yourself or your way of life as better than theirs. Do not look down your nose at them. Do not shove your beliefs in their face. Do not criticize them for what they believe. Do not blame them for all the world's ills. Do not try to change them to be like you. Leave them friggin' ALONE to enjoy their own form of thinking in the way that they choose! Wouldn't you rather they did that for you? You would, right??? You don't like it when they try to convert you. Well then, don't try to convert them...do exactly for them what you wish they would do for you. Geez! This isn't such a hard concept to grasp. |
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Subject: RE: BS: 10 commandments...west virginia style From: Stilly River Sage Date: 14 May 07 - 11:47 PM You remind me of the smoker who walks into the room and pollutes the air for everyone who doesn't smoke, then suggests that the non-smokers are too sensitive, and would intrude on your right to smoke. Circular logic and straw men are your long suit. I've just looked at your posting record--you favor hot button topics entirely below the line at this music site. Do you play an instrument? Sing? Research music? Hmmm. Perhaps you should go look for a blog at the National Enquirer--you'll be in good company over there. |
