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BS: 10 Commandments of Canada???

Little Hawk 11 May 07 - 01:14 PM
Mrrzy 11 May 07 - 01:19 PM
artbrooks 11 May 07 - 01:26 PM
Ebbie 11 May 07 - 01:29 PM
beardedbruce 11 May 07 - 01:29 PM
frogprince 11 May 07 - 01:35 PM
beardedbruce 11 May 07 - 01:36 PM
GUEST,Terry McDonald 11 May 07 - 01:38 PM
Midchuck 11 May 07 - 01:39 PM
Little Hawk 11 May 07 - 01:42 PM
artbrooks 11 May 07 - 01:45 PM
artbrooks 11 May 07 - 01:46 PM
Wesley S 11 May 07 - 01:48 PM
Little Hawk 11 May 07 - 01:48 PM
Little Hawk 11 May 07 - 01:54 PM
artbrooks 11 May 07 - 01:58 PM
Wesley S 11 May 07 - 01:58 PM
artbrooks 11 May 07 - 02:00 PM
Little Hawk 11 May 07 - 02:04 PM
Ebbie 11 May 07 - 02:33 PM
Mrrzy 11 May 07 - 02:34 PM
Peace 11 May 07 - 02:36 PM
GUEST,Seiri Omaar 11 May 07 - 02:41 PM
mg 11 May 07 - 02:56 PM
Little Hawk 11 May 07 - 03:09 PM
wysiwyg 11 May 07 - 03:25 PM
Wolfgang 11 May 07 - 03:43 PM
Mrrzy 11 May 07 - 03:55 PM
GUEST,Ed 11 May 07 - 04:12 PM
Little Hawk 11 May 07 - 04:16 PM
GUEST,Ed 11 May 07 - 04:24 PM
Peace 11 May 07 - 04:47 PM
GUEST,Ed 11 May 07 - 04:52 PM
frogprince 11 May 07 - 04:58 PM
Little Hawk 11 May 07 - 05:00 PM
Peace 11 May 07 - 05:46 PM
Peace 11 May 07 - 06:17 PM
Mrrzy 11 May 07 - 06:17 PM
Rapparee 11 May 07 - 06:31 PM
Little Hawk 11 May 07 - 06:32 PM
bobad 11 May 07 - 07:49 PM
artbrooks 11 May 07 - 07:50 PM
Lonesome EJ 11 May 07 - 07:53 PM
bobad 11 May 07 - 08:02 PM
GUEST,Ed 11 May 07 - 08:15 PM
Metchosin 11 May 07 - 08:35 PM
Dickey 11 May 07 - 11:19 PM
dianavan 12 May 07 - 03:14 AM
sian, west wales 12 May 07 - 03:58 AM
GUEST,Van lingle 12 May 07 - 04:27 AM
*daylia* 12 May 07 - 07:35 AM
*daylia* 12 May 07 - 07:44 AM
*daylia* 12 May 07 - 07:50 AM
Alice 12 May 07 - 10:23 AM
Little Hawk 12 May 07 - 10:26 AM
Rapparee 12 May 07 - 10:31 AM
GUEST,Big Brother Don 12 May 07 - 10:35 AM
Mrrzy 12 May 07 - 01:13 PM
bobad 12 May 07 - 01:13 PM
GUEST,Alain Thebault, the mad trapper 12 May 07 - 04:42 PM
heric 12 May 07 - 09:43 PM
Dickey 13 May 07 - 12:00 PM
Willie-O 13 May 07 - 01:25 PM
Ebbie 13 May 07 - 02:00 PM
Peace 13 May 07 - 02:03 PM
Little Hawk 13 May 07 - 02:24 PM
Bee 13 May 07 - 04:24 PM
heric 13 May 07 - 08:22 PM
artbrooks 13 May 07 - 08:38 PM
heric 13 May 07 - 09:18 PM
GUEST,Eduard 13 May 07 - 11:17 PM
Peace 14 May 07 - 12:05 AM
3refs 14 May 07 - 07:20 AM
3refs 14 May 07 - 07:31 AM
GUEST,Edourd 14 May 07 - 04:01 PM
Little Hawk 14 May 07 - 05:50 PM
artbrooks 14 May 07 - 06:09 PM
Bert 14 May 07 - 08:03 PM
GUEST,Big Brother Don 14 May 07 - 08:46 PM
gnu 15 May 07 - 03:31 PM
Dickey 15 May 07 - 06:32 PM
Little Hawk 15 May 07 - 06:38 PM
Peace 15 May 07 - 06:39 PM
Dickey 15 May 07 - 06:59 PM
artbrooks 15 May 07 - 07:04 PM
Jeri 15 May 07 - 07:09 PM
GUEST 15 May 07 - 11:09 PM
GUEST,leeneia 16 May 07 - 12:37 AM
GUEST,leeneia 16 May 07 - 12:44 AM
keberoxu 05 Sep 16 - 12:52 PM
Airymouse 05 Sep 16 - 07:01 PM
bobad 05 Sep 16 - 07:17 PM
gnu 05 Sep 16 - 07:44 PM
mkebenn 06 Sep 16 - 11:46 AM
Mrrzy 06 Sep 16 - 08:24 PM
Donuel 06 Sep 16 - 08:36 PM
Donuel 07 Sep 16 - 07:29 PM
Mr Red 08 Sep 16 - 02:55 AM

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Subject: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada???
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 May 07 - 01:14 PM

If there were 10 Commandments that Canadian life would be based on...what would they be? I'm a Canadian and I want to know, okay?

Canadians AND non-Canadians are welcome to participate in composing this list. Don't hold back, please! I want to hear every silly and demeaning stereotype there is in people's minds about Canadians. Even the really insulting ones. Yesiree. Go for broke. What goofy thoughts, what extremely unlikely mythology pops instantly into your mind when you hear the word "Canada"?

This thread is in response to the "10 Commandments - West Virginia style" thread.

It's hardly fair that Wes Ginny should get ALL the attention and abuse after all, is it? Let's give Canada a go...


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Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada???
From: Mrrzy
Date: 11 May 07 - 01:19 PM

1) Hey, let's be nice, eh?
2-10: See #1


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Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada???
From: artbrooks
Date: 11 May 07 - 01:26 PM

Now, LH - why should anyone say anything negative about Canada? Certain Canadians (and Canadiennes) perhaps.

OK, Mrzzy started.
2) Never say anything good about the nation to the south, except for an occasional comment about the weather.


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Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada???
From: Ebbie
Date: 11 May 07 - 01:29 PM

#2 - Subset: Not debatable. Everybody knows that the US is to blame. For everything.


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Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada???
From: beardedbruce
Date: 11 May 07 - 01:29 PM

Don't half of them have to be in French?


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Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada???
From: frogprince
Date: 11 May 07 - 01:35 PM

Nope; all of them have to be in both French and English. In Quebec, the French has to be first, in larger print.


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Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada???
From: beardedbruce
Date: 11 May 07 - 01:36 PM

ok


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Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada???
From: GUEST,Terry McDonald
Date: 11 May 07 - 01:38 PM

Doesn't it have to be Québec?


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Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada???
From: Midchuck
Date: 11 May 07 - 01:39 PM

All fiddle tunes shall be played in the key of "eh."

Peter


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Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada???
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 May 07 - 01:42 PM

Well, I want all the stuff, eh? Both the negative stuff AND the positive stuff. To succeed in assembling here all the myths and ludicrous stereotypes about Canada and Canadians will be of benefit to future generations of Canadian comedians, because believe you me...this is a country that dearly loves making fun of itself, and that's why so many top comedians have come from Canada and later found a lucrative niche in Hollywood.

Rich Little. John Candy. Dan Akroyd. Catherine O'Hara. Tommy Chong. Wayne and Shuster. Jim Carrey. Dave Thomas. Rick Moranis. Eugene Levy. Andrea Martin. And many others whose names I can't quite dredge up at the moment.

"Hey, let's be nice, eh?" is definitely one of the top Canadian 10 Commandments. Good contribution, Mrrzy.


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Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada???
From: artbrooks
Date: 11 May 07 - 01:45 PM

Je ne sui Francophone - es Quebec, et le "Que" rime avec "twee".


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Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada???
From: artbrooks
Date: 11 May 07 - 01:46 PM

Are these people Mudcatters, LH? I don't recognize any of the names.


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Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada???
From: Wesley S
Date: 11 May 07 - 01:48 PM

"Rich Little. John Candy. Dan Akroyd. Catherine O'Hara. Tommy Chong. Wayne and Shuster. Jim Carrey. Dave Thomas. Rick Moranis. Eugene Levy. Andrea Martin."

Don't they all live and work in America now?


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Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada???
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 May 07 - 01:48 PM

"Nope; all of them have to be in both French and English. In Quebec, the French has to be first, in larger print."

LOL! Right flippin' on, Frogprince.

I deal a lot with UPS in my business. They used to have their phone-in headquarters based in Nova Scotia. The recorded message would inform you, first in English, then in French, that you press "1" to proceed in English, "2" to proceed in French.

Then they moved the offices to Quebec. The recorded message now informs you, first in French, then in English, that you press "1" to proceed in French, "2" to proceed in English.

And so the beat goes on in bilingual Canada...

Thank God we are not officially tri-lingual or quadri-lingual...like Switzerland.


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Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada???
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 May 07 - 01:54 PM

You gotta be kidding, Art! Where have you been living, in a cave in Antarctica?

Yeah, Wesley, of course they all live in America now! That's where the lion's share of the money and the work is if you're in that business (the entertainment business). It's in Hollywood, California. If you wanna "make it" to the bigtime then that's where you go. William Shatner lives in America now too for the same reason...but he often visits his old Canadian haunts. Neil Young likewise lives in America for the same reason, as do Buffy Sainte-Marie and Joni Mitchell.

Ian Tyson, bless his heart, still lives in the Canadian West, however, although he used to get down to rodeos in Nevada and Montana a lot.


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Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada???
From: artbrooks
Date: 11 May 07 - 01:58 PM

I must include my own list of notable and important Canadians: Stan and Garnet Rogers, Mary Jane Lamond, Yves and France Moreau, the kids in Great Big Sea and the Cotters, Ian and Sylvia Tyson (together and singularly).


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Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada???
From: Wesley S
Date: 11 May 07 - 01:58 PM

I can understand why the talented ones move to America - but what's up with Shatner? Is he in exile?


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Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada???
From: artbrooks
Date: 11 May 07 - 02:00 PM

No talent?


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Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada???
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 May 07 - 02:04 PM

Don't pretend not to see genius where it reposes in such a grand and blatantly obvious fashion, Wesley.

Boy, we aren't doing too well on those 10 Canadian Commandments, are we?


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Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada???
From: Ebbie
Date: 11 May 07 - 02:33 PM

A traveling songwriter I know reported that 'Canadians are just like Americans - without guns.

The one unpleasant trait that I perceive in Canadians is that of victimhood.

For instance, complaining about the 'Americans taking over Canada', as evidenced by the McNuts and the WalNuts. They refuse to acknowledge that it is Canadians who brought those franchises in, and who are making a profit from it. It is easier to just blame the Americans.

I don't know how to make it into a commandment though.


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Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada???
From: Mrrzy
Date: 11 May 07 - 02:34 PM

1) Let's be nice, eh? / Soyons sympa, eh?
2) It isn't cold / Il ne fait pas froid
3) Let it snow / Qu'il neige
4) Don't fret / T'inquiete pas
5) It's all good / Ca va, ca va
6) What, me worry? / Qui, moi?
7) Happy hunting / Bonne chasse
8) Don't overeat / Laisse-moi un peu de poutine
9) Don't fall down drunk / Encore une
10) Check out them Northern Lights / T'as vu l'aurore?


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Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada???
From: Peace
Date: 11 May 07 - 02:36 PM

The view looks the same to everyone except the lead dog.


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Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada???
From: GUEST,Seiri Omaar
Date: 11 May 07 - 02:41 PM

What about Franglais?


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Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada???
From: mg
Date: 11 May 07 - 02:56 PM

don't walk on the slob ice


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Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada???
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 May 07 - 03:09 PM

Ho! Ho! Lovely. Mrrzy in particular has pretty well got it covered.

Here's one the Toronto Star used to do all the time as the quintessential example of Canadian small talk:

"Mild, isn't it?"


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Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada???
From: wysiwyg
Date: 11 May 07 - 03:25 PM

1. Hockey.
2. More hockey in Canadia can't be bad.

~S~


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Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada???
From: Wolfgang
Date: 11 May 07 - 03:43 PM

quadri-lingual...like Switzerland

Hmm. Even their fourth and smallest language, Rumantsch, actually consists of at least three rather different languages.

And their French (and German similarly) consists of two languages. One is the French as people learn it in school and the French Swiss would use it being polite when talking to a Swiss German, the other is Walon. The link can give those who understand French an idea how far Walon is from French.

To the 10 commandements of Canada I would add: The bear's always right.

Wolfgang


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Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada???
From: Mrrzy
Date: 11 May 07 - 03:55 PM

L'ours a toujours raison.


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Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada???
From: GUEST,Ed
Date: 11 May 07 - 04:12 PM

1)You are from Canada first, your province second* (applies only to Ontario, for others you are from your province first, Canada second).

2 A Maple leaf gives safe passage

3) Respect diversity (does not apply to your street)

4) Don't annoy the americans,

5) Reward those do not work (pogey)

6) Be kind to criminmals (life means 5 years)

7)Honour the royals (except in Quebec))

8) If it isn't in a shopping mall, it does not exist

9)Keep politicts boring, to lure more lawyers

10) Smile in winter, as if you enjoy it


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Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada???
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 May 07 - 04:16 PM

More good stuff! Beauty, eh? ;-)

Here's another:

Try to pretend Canadian history is exciting...at least while you're taking the course.


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Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada???
From: GUEST,Ed
Date: 11 May 07 - 04:24 PM

11) Always remind Americans that some famous American entertainers
were born in Canada:))


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Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada???
From: Peace
Date: 11 May 07 - 04:47 PM

Tell people who who ask whether or not we all live in igloos that yes, we do.


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Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada???
From: GUEST,Ed
Date: 11 May 07 - 04:52 PM

When in the USA when asked where you live, reply, above the tree line


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Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada???
From: frogprince
Date: 11 May 07 - 04:58 PM

Be sure there's enough gas in the Skidoo.


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Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada???
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 May 07 - 05:00 PM

Don't test how cold it is outside by putting your tongue on the flagpole.


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Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada???
From: Peace
Date: 11 May 07 - 05:46 PM

Tell me that NOW!


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Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada???
From: Peace
Date: 11 May 07 - 06:17 PM

Don't eat the yellow snow.


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Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada???
From: Mrrzy
Date: 11 May 07 - 06:17 PM

1) On est canadien d'abords, habitants apres (si habitant l'ontario; pour tout autre c'est le contraire.

2 Une feuille d'erable donne passage libre.

3) Acceptez les autres (sauf les voisins).

4) Embetez pas les americains.

5) Recompensez les chaumeurs /(pogey)?/

6) Cotisez les malfaisasnts (vie en prison n'est que 5 ans)

7)Saluez les royaux (sauf le Quebec)

8) Si s'est pas sans un strip, caa n'existe pas

9) Gardez l'ennui dans la politique, ca attire les avocats

10) Souriez en hiver, tout comme l'aimant


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Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada???
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 May 07 - 06:31 PM

Try to be polite when asked, "How much is that in REAL money?"


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Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada???
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 May 07 - 06:32 PM

Are you this good at French or are you using Babelfish or something?

I'm no good at all at French, because most of my schooling was in New York State, and I elected to take Spanish and Latin instead.


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Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada???
From: bobad
Date: 11 May 07 - 07:49 PM

Thou shalt not covet thy neighboUrs two-four...eh!

Covetez pas le two-four de votre n'est beurre....anh!


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Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada???
From: artbrooks
Date: 11 May 07 - 07:50 PM

Ques-que two-four?


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Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada???
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 11 May 07 - 07:53 PM

9) Hold the salsa and double up on the boiled potatoes


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Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada???
From: bobad
Date: 11 May 07 - 08:02 PM

Two-four


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Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada???
From: GUEST,Ed
Date: 11 May 07 - 08:15 PM

Make it a Double, double to go, with a toasted everything.


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Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada???
From: Metchosin
Date: 11 May 07 - 08:35 PM

10a. Never vote for anything, always vote agin it.


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Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada???
From: Dickey
Date: 11 May 07 - 11:19 PM

When I think of Canada I am always reminded of Lucky Pierre, the man in the middle.


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Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada???
From: dianavan
Date: 12 May 07 - 03:14 AM

Thou shalt use only real maple syrup

Thou shalt fuck around

Thou shalt smoke B.C. bud

Thou shalt protect the environment

Thou shalt wear toques not hats

Thou shalt sit on Chesterfields, not Davenports

Thou shalt be politically correct at all times

Thou shalt be bilingual, at least

Thou shalt cross the floor without shame


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Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada???
From: sian, west wales
Date: 12 May 07 - 03:58 AM

Commit unwaveringly to the One True Pronunciation of "about".

sian


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Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada???
From: GUEST,Van lingle
Date: 12 May 07 - 04:27 AM

No insults here, I love Cana-duh :)


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Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada???
From: *daylia*
Date: 12 May 07 - 07:35 AM

Oh please, no more flippin commandments!   WE are already the most over-legislated people on the planet, with more laws per capita than any other nation! So how bout thou shalt NOT place any more flippin laws before me, eh!?!


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Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada???
From: *daylia*
Date: 12 May 07 - 07:44 AM

Oops, better toe the lawful line here, so...

Ne placez pas de lois plus damnées avant moi.

Salut!    :-)


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Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada???
From: *daylia*
Date: 12 May 07 - 07:50 AM

Oh, and always remember ...

Mangez un castor - sauvent un arbre.


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Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada???
From: Alice
Date: 12 May 07 - 10:23 AM

On winter vacation in Mexico, make sure natives know you are Canadian, not gringo.


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Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada???
From: Little Hawk
Date: 12 May 07 - 10:26 AM

In fact, do that when on vacation just about anywhere.


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Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada???
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 May 07 - 10:31 AM

Covetez pas le two-four de votre n'est beurre....anh!

Don't covet the two-four of your is not butter???????????????????

Quelle dommage ma voisin n'est pas du beurre! J'ai plein du pain....

Ou, est-que votre voisin Madame du Beurre-y, peut-etre?


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Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada???
From: GUEST,Big Brother Don
Date: 12 May 07 - 10:35 AM

Hey, man....two-fours are gettin' too expensive for most people now. It's a flippin' drag, eh? I wonder how the little brother is doin' on his love quest?

- Don McBride


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Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada???
From: Mrrzy
Date: 12 May 07 - 01:13 PM

For "n'est beurre" think Un petit d'un petit, as in the following Mots d'Heure, Gousses, Rames:
Un petit d'un petit s'etonne aux Halles
Un petit d'un petit a degre te falle
Indolent qui ne sorcesse
Indolent qui ne se mene
Qu'importe un petit d'un petit
Tout gai de Regainnes.


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Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada???
From: bobad
Date: 12 May 07 - 01:13 PM

You're right Rap that shoulda been "nez beurre."


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Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada???
From: GUEST,Alain Thebault, the mad trapper
Date: 12 May 07 - 04:42 PM

Bad things happen elsewhere (the USA,) not here]

When travelling, make say you are not american.

Wait your turn, No rush, why stress out, if not today, tomorrow

Poutine and Donairs are Canadian gourmet foods

Windshield antifreeze is a 12 month affair

Everyone knows We made the ski doo and the Canada arm

Guns kill people, not us

Quebec girlie bars rule

Tax, tax, and tax again

Nirvana is retire and become a snowbird


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Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada???
From: heric
Date: 12 May 07 - 09:43 PM

"In the mid-1990s, steadily rising prices rendered the two-four unattainable for all but the most affluent"

I can just imagine reading the society pages. . .


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Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada???
From: Dickey
Date: 13 May 07 - 12:00 PM

In case anybody here is not aware of it, there is a great collection of Canadian MIDIs with lyrics sequenced by Barry Taylor of Victoria, British Columbia, The Great Canadian Tunebook, Here: http://members.shaw.ca/tunebook/nojavascript.htm


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Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada???
From: Willie-O
Date: 13 May 07 - 01:25 PM

# whatever: We are the greatest people on earth due to our self-deprecating sense of humour.

W-O


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Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada???
From: Ebbie
Date: 13 May 07 - 02:00 PM

#More Whatever. They are also the most humble.


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Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada???
From: Peace
Date: 13 May 07 - 02:03 PM

Well, for sure with only ten commandments, people are gonna feel left out. British Columbia, Alberta, Saskatchewan, Manitoba, Ontario, Quebec, New Brunswick, Nova Scotia, Prince Edward Island, Newfoundland, Yukon, Northwest Territories and Nunavut: we need thirteen commandments.


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Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada???
From: Little Hawk
Date: 13 May 07 - 02:24 PM

At LEAST 13, eh?

Never shake yer beer bottle when the beer is warm.


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Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada???
From: Bee
Date: 13 May 07 - 04:24 PM

Thou shalt not drive thine four-wheeler up on the wife's flowerbeds in winter just because you can.

Thou shalt not pee in the snow just before maple syrup candy season.

Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour's frost hardy perennials.

Snowmobiles are still not legal on the highway if you drive in the middle where all the snow is, thou shalt be apprehended and fined.

Thou shalt not serve really bad home-made beer and then make everyone use the camp outhouse. Drink Keiths'.

Thou shalt wear six layers of clothing from October unto June; yea verily shalt thou wear polyester-cotton, wool, jersey, more wool, quilted layer, and down in that order, and thou shalt wear a tuque on thy head.

Well, it's a start.


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Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada???
From: heric
Date: 13 May 07 - 08:22 PM

"Top Ten" Commandments - gleaned from above. To recap with my faves:

Thou shalt wear a tuque and anorak in humility before God
Thou shalt not walk on slob ice
Thou art from Canada first, your province second* (applies only to Ontario, for others thou art from your province first, Canada second)
Be sure there's enough gas in the Skidoo
Thou shalt have no other gods but expatriates in entertainment
Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour's two-four
On winter vacation, make sure locals know you are Canadian güero (to impress them)
Thou shalt talk green and buy bottled water and farmed salmon
Thou shalt not covet the two-four of your brother's can't believe it's not butter
Thou shalt not put your tongue on the flagpole


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Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada???
From: artbrooks
Date: 13 May 07 - 08:38 PM

But don't forget, since Canadians are better than us mere mortals, they get three extra.


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Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada???
From: heric
Date: 13 May 07 - 09:18 PM

You have to pay more than 50% of your gross income for ten years before the others can be revealed. I will neither confirm nor deny the spurious rumour that one of them concerns how many swings you can take at a seal puppy's head.


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Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada???
From: GUEST,Eduard
Date: 13 May 07 - 11:17 PM

!) What's the deal with the bilgy stuff they call USA beer?
2) If you are east of Quebec, does it make you a newfie?
3) We walk a mile for a beaver (beaver tail is something you eat).
4) Frost burn sex
5) Trunk shovels
6) Salt stained shoes and pants
7) National TV channel, the Weather Network
8) Dodging frost bumps and pot holes a national pass time
9) The Canadian side of Niagra falls rules
10) The glorious sound of early morning windshield scraping


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Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada???
From: Peace
Date: 14 May 07 - 12:05 AM

"But don't forget, since Canadians are better than us mere mortals, they get three extra."

I was thinking more along the lines of one for each province and one for each territory. However, your reason sounds better. Thanks.


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Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada???
From: 3refs
Date: 14 May 07 - 07:20 AM

#1-Keep your stick on the ice!


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Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada???
From: 3refs
Date: 14 May 07 - 07:31 AM

Exception for rule #1-unless your playing against Goldie Goldthorpe!


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Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada???
From: GUEST,Edourd
Date: 14 May 07 - 04:01 PM

A puzzle to me:

Canadian beer and spirits are often seen as desirable, because of Canada's reputation for cold, clean water.

So, why the popularity of Corona? Is it due to Mexico's reputation for abundant clean water?


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Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada???
From: Little Hawk
Date: 14 May 07 - 05:50 PM

I think Corona is popular mainly because it's Mexican. That makes it exotic and exciting. You can imagine yourself down in Mexico when you drink it, sitting in some little cafe and growling in a Pancho Villa type voice, "Dos servezas mas!" as the waiter looks your way.

It's an inexpensive foreign fantasy for all to enjoy, eh? ;-)


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Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada???
From: artbrooks
Date: 14 May 07 - 06:09 PM

And besides, all them Canadian wimmin hanker for them Messican men.


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Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada???
From: Bert
Date: 14 May 07 - 08:03 PM

Thou shalt have an East Indian Grocery Store in every town.


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Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada???
From: GUEST,Big Brother Don
Date: 14 May 07 - 08:46 PM

And a flippin' Chinese chop Sooey joint! And a gas station that is run by a fambly from India or Pakestan.

- Don McBride


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Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada???
From: gnu
Date: 15 May 07 - 03:31 PM

Keep yer stick on the ice.
Keep yer head up.
Don't mess with the goalie.
Don't let the ref catch you doin that.
Don't argue with the ref.
Don't be late fer practice.
Don't drink until after the game.
Keep yer skates sharp and yer laces tight.
Never ferget yer cup.
Stop the puck first and worry about the pain later.

Amen.


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Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada???
From: Dickey
Date: 15 May 07 - 06:32 PM

A pome that we used to recite in high school comes to mind:

WARNING ADUKT CONTENT! TGHOSE UNDER !* QUIT READING IMMEDIATELY!

The Ballad of Big-Ass Lil and Yukon Pete--John "Dr. Dirty" Valby

Grab your glass and get your seat,
And I'll tell you about Big-Ass Lil and Yukon Pete!

Now, Lil was the village queen,
The fuckinest hoar you'd ever seen.
While some girls fucked with grace and ease,
Lil blew dick like the summer breeze.
But when she fucked, she fucked for keeps,
She piled her victims up in heaps.

There was a rumor 'round that town,
That no man could put Lil's ass down.
But way up north, where twin rivers meet,
Lived a one-balled half-breed, name Yukon Pete!

Pete was a dirty, motherless soul,
Who fucked bears, sheep and woodchuck holes.
He got a whip for Big-Ass Lil,
Packed up his rubbers, and came down the hill.
He strode into town on size 32 feet,
Dragging sixteen yards of that red-hot meat!

Well, the scene was set at windy mill,
By the brick shithouse, high on the hill.
All the ladies came for a ringside seat,
Just to watch that half-breed sink his meat.

Well, they fucked, and they fucked, and they fucked for hours,
Uprooting trees, shrubs and flowers.
Lil did front flips, back flips, stunts
All unknown to most common cunts.
But Pete caught on to every trick,
And kept on pumping in more dick!

Then Lil gave Pete a hoarhouse squeeze
That brought that half-breed to his knees.
But Pete came back with a Yukon grunt
That popped out her eyes, and split her cunt!

Well, Lil rolled over, cut two farts and sighed:
"Boys, I've been fucked," cut one more, and died.
When they asked that half-breed of his amazing feat,
He just said, "Boys, I'm going back to the Yukon, and beat my meat.


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Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada???
From: Little Hawk
Date: 15 May 07 - 06:38 PM

Good lord. I wonder how long that post will survive.


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Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada???
From: Peace
Date: 15 May 07 - 06:39 PM

That should be a LYR ADD.


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Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada???
From: Dickey
Date: 15 May 07 - 06:59 PM

My warning was atrocious. I appologize. But Hey, it is a ballad. Perhaps there is a tune to go along.


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Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada???
From: artbrooks
Date: 15 May 07 - 07:04 PM

Carricfergus? Or maybe Rosin the Bow - hell, everything else is done to that.


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Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada???
From: Jeri
Date: 15 May 07 - 07:09 PM

It may be a version of Poor Lil? (There's a 'Click to Play', but the MIDI's no werk.) That's adukt content as well.


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Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada???
From: GUEST
Date: 15 May 07 - 11:09 PM

Let "er rip!


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Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada???
From: GUEST,leeneia
Date: 16 May 07 - 12:37 AM

Well, LH, I can't help you with any stereotypes, etc. I have little experience of Canada. I haven't been there since 1970. I did enjoy the trip, which was a drive around Lake Superior.

If you read mysteries, I recommend the novels about Benny Cooperman, the Canadian sleuth. I believe they are by Dean Kaplan. I like the way Benny is aware of the Niagara escarpment.

Another Canadian I am aware of is Mimi Blais. She isn't fictional, she is an incredible ragtime pianist from Montreal. If you can ever catch a concert by her, do so.


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Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada???
From: GUEST,leeneia
Date: 16 May 07 - 12:44 AM

Here's a link to a picture of memorable Canadian place, the Ouimet Canyon. I saw it on that 1970 trip that I just mentioned.

http://www.hickerphoto.com/ouimet-canyon-1034-pictures.htm


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Subject: BS: 18 commandments, en francais
From: keberoxu
Date: 05 Sep 16 - 12:52 PM

Well, this is not what you asked for. There are eighteen of these, not ten.



1.    Le Chef a raison.

2.    Le Chef a toujours raison.

3.    Même si un subalterne a raison, les deux premières règles s'appliquent.

4.    Le Chef ne dort pas, il se repose.

5.    Le Chef ne mange pas, il se nourrit.

6.    Le Chef ne boit pas, il déguste.

7.    Le Chef n'est jamais en retard, il a été retenu ailleurs.

8.    Le Chef ne prend jamais des libertés avec son secrétaire, il fait son éducation.

9.    Le Chef ne quitte jamais son service, il a une réunion à l'extérieur.

10.   Le Chef ne lit jamais son journal pendant le service, il s'enforme pour protéger l'entreprise et donc les emplois de tous.

11.   Le Chef fait énormément des sacrifices pour ses subalternes; ils peuvent donc bien en faire en ou deux pour le Chef en retour.

12.   Le Chef a le droit d'être toujours de mauvaise humeur et d'insulter ses subalternes; c'est dû à son stress de Chef.

13.   On entre dans le bureau du Chef avec ses idées personnelles, on en ressort avec les idées du Chef.

14.   Le Chef est toujours le Chef, même en calecon de bain.

15.   Plus on critique le Chef, moins on a des primes.

16.   Ne jamais oublier que le Chef est obligé de penser pour tout le monde.

17.   Seul le Chef a une vision globale de l'entreprise.

18.   Si vous avez un doute, conformez-vous à la règle numéro 1.


from "L'encyclopédie des blagues", de divers auteurs


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Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada???
From: Airymouse
Date: 05 Sep 16 - 07:01 PM

Honor thy neighbor as thyself, and if you build a wall along the border to keep him out, do not make him pay for it.


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Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada???
From: bobad
Date: 05 Sep 16 - 07:17 PM

Lâche pas la patate.


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Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada???
From: gnu
Date: 05 Sep 16 - 07:44 PM

Bobad... yep.

And... keep yer stick on the ice.


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Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada???
From: mkebenn
Date: 06 Sep 16 - 11:46 AM

From an American. If you brought it up here and didn,t sell it, take it home. Mike


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Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada???
From: Mrrzy
Date: 06 Sep 16 - 08:24 PM

And what about poutine, eh?


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Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada???
From: Donuel
Date: 06 Sep 16 - 08:36 PM

I always thought of Canada as the default heroes of humanitarian rescue or supporters of human rights and sanctuary, especially when the USA turns its back for political and military reasons.

Canadians make claims that sound better than they are.
Like Grape pie is really just raisons.


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Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada???
From: Donuel
Date: 07 Sep 16 - 07:29 PM

But mostly nothing ever happens in Canada


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Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada???
From: Mr Red
Date: 08 Sep 16 - 02:55 AM

#1 end every sentence with "eh?"

this compares with the stereotypical "look you?" of generic Wales which was firmly corrected in Monmouth (pronounced Munmuth) by a GF as "look see?". In Worcestershire we only "look?". In Spanish (Castillian) you hear a "no?" - no? In NZ it is often "Or! Yea". In Oz they just inflect "?".
In the Northampton (pronounced Norfamton) you are "me duck".

let us just call it verbal punctuation - eh?


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