.

Subject: .
From: Peace
Date: 18 Jun 07 - 06:05 PM

I wanted to start a completely useless thread like this one before matt c thought of it. If you have something to say that is of no worth or value, please post it here.

Subject: RE: .
From: Peace
Date: 18 Jun 07 - 06:06 PM

Space, the final frontier . . . .

Subject: RE: .
From: Bert
Date: 18 Jun 07 - 06:08 PM

You're going dotty Peace ol' pal.

Subject: RE: .
From: Jim Lad
Date: 18 Jun 07 - 06:08 PM

Jim

Subject: RE: .
From: bobad
Date: 18 Jun 07 - 06:29 PM

Sure looks like somebody cut a hole in the back fence, paw.

Subject: RE: .
From: skipy
Date: 18 Jun 07 - 06:35 PM

The labour party!
Skipy

Subject: RE: .
From: SussexCarole
Date: 18 Jun 07 - 06:38 PM

2/6d

Subject: RE: .
From: Peace
Date: 18 Jun 07 - 06:48 PM

Bra size?

Subject: RE: .
From: gnu
Date: 18 Jun 07 - 06:48 PM

Okay.

Subject: RE: .
From: gnu
Date: 18 Jun 07 - 06:49 PM

Anything to help out a friend.

Subject: RE: .
From: concertina ceol
Date: 18 Jun 07 - 07:01 PM

enjoy the silence before the mud slinging starts......

Subject: ",,,RE:Re:Re:Re: specked (.)...just a little bit
From: Severn
Date: 18 Jun 07 - 07:03 PM

Peace,

Is this kinda like "The Odessey Of Useless"? Responding to a different siren's call? A Homer to clear all the basis?

I'll be Useless as granted if you wish, but are you using us?

This is so worthless, I'll cede you the copyright and royalties.

Of Less worth than Mary Worth.

Subject: RE: .
From: Peace
Date: 18 Jun 07 - 07:12 PM

I like Boolean math. Every answer is either 1 or 0. BUT, is there hacked Boolean math?

There is such a thing as hacked Boolean math. T   F

Subject: RE: .
From: Severn
Date: 18 Jun 07 - 07:15 PM

None Of The Above

Subject: RE: .
From: Peace
Date: 18 Jun 07 - 07:20 PM

Yeah. Just GIVE the answer away.

Subject: RE: .
From: Peace
Date: 18 Jun 07 - 07:20 PM

Wait. That's not the answer.

Subject: RE: .
From: Don Firth
Date: 18 Jun 07 - 07:28 PM

42?

Don Firth

Subject: RE: .
From: Peace
Date: 18 Jun 07 - 07:29 PM

LOLOLOL

Subject: RE: .
From: folk1e
Date: 18 Jun 07 - 07:30 PM

HELP me bable fish has stopped working!

Subject: RE: .
From: Severn
Date: 18 Jun 07 - 07:31 PM

No, the answer was "Blowing In The Wind" in the mid 60's and "Love" after that.....

Peace & Love, attorneys at lunch. You should have started afirm. Or a negative, if you wanted to argue that side if it. There would have been, if not an answer, at least a verdict.

Subject: RE: .
From: Peace
Date: 18 Jun 07 - 07:35 PM

What HE said.

Subject: RE: .
From: Don Firth
Date: 18 Jun 07 - 07:39 PM

Etaoin Shrdlu

Don Firth

Subject: RE: .
From: Peace
Date: 18 Jun 07 - 07:48 PM

Peekabo, I Almost See You by Ogden Nash

Middle-aged life is merry, and I love to
lead it,
But there comes a day when your eyes
are all right but your arm isn't long
enough
to hold the telephone book where you can read it,
And your friends get jocular, so you go
to the oculist,
And of all your friends he is the joculist,
So over his facetiousness let us skim,
Only noting that he has been waiting for you ever since
you said Good evening to his grandfather clock under
the impression that it was him,
And you look at his chart and it says SHRDLU QWERTYOP,
and you say Well, why SHRDNTLU QWERTYOP? and he
says one set of glasses won't do.
You need two.
One for reading Erle Stanley Gardner's Perry Mason and
Keats's "Endymion" with,
And the other for walking around without saying Hello
to strange wymion with.
So you spend your time taking off your seeing glasses to put
on your reading glasses, and then remembering that your
reading glasses are upstairs or in the car,
And then you can't find your seeing glasses again because
without them on you can't see where they are.
Enough of such mishaps, they would try the patience of an
ox,
I prefer to forget both pairs of glasses and pass my declining
years saluting strange women and grandfather clocks.

Subject: RE: . (Punk-chewayshun)
From: GUEST,Semi-colon Powell
Date: 18 Jun 07 - 07:59 PM

"Ah specks, frum th' title uv thisun', it's a "Period Peace", uv sorts."

....Or a ",D" perhaps?

Do we keep this up Periodically, and if so, what if we miss a month?


......pregnant pause.........

Subject: RE: .
From: JohnInKansas
Date: 18 Jun 07 - 08:02 PM

Joyce Hatto?

Subject: RE: .
From: Peace
Date: 18 Jun 07 - 08:06 PM

Here ya go, Semi-colon Powell.

Subject: RE: .
From: Peace
Date: 18 Jun 07 - 08:06 PM

Poor ol' gal. Start a Liszt of the things that were released. Whew!

Subject: RE: .
From: Peace
Date: 18 Jun 07 - 08:09 PM

Heck. It was the Liszt that started it . . . .

Subject: RE: .
From: Severn
Date: 18 Jun 07 - 08:12 PM

To starboard, or to port?

Subject: RE: .
From: Peace
Date: 18 Jun 07 - 08:13 PM

The port is drinkable. To port I say!

Subject: RE: .
From: Severn
Date: 18 Jun 07 - 08:31 PM

Good stuff, Peace!

The pronounced Liszt just became a TILT, like Quixote goin' at a windmill!

Subject: RE: .
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 18 Jun 07 - 08:52 PM

.

Subject: RE: .
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Jun 07 - 08:57 PM

I knew a guy in college who made his girl make a mistake in punctuation. He made her skip a period.

Subject: RE: .
From: Amos
Date: 18 Jun 07 - 09:04 PM

And she left him in a comma...


A

Subject: RE: .
From: Peace
Date: 18 Jun 07 - 09:21 PM

OK. The sicko crowd is showin' up now.

Subject: RE: .
From: open mike
Date: 18 Jun 07 - 09:25 PM

it seems i recently saw that Michael Moore
is in town with "Sicko" is this a movie?

Subject: RE: .
From: Severn
Date: 18 Jun 07 - 09:41 PM

Quixote will try to call it a knight.

Play "Vuss Iss Dot?" without me, I gotta dash.

Subject: RE: .
From: Peace
Date: 18 Jun 07 - 09:44 PM

Punsters.

Subject: RE: .
From: GUEST,Joe Offer, at the Women's Center
Date: 18 Jun 07 - 09:48 PM

Oy.

Veh.

Subject: RE: .
From: Bill D
Date: 18 Jun 07 - 09:48 PM

Ancestral habits and a very early tradition have led us to preserve,
as the unit of time, a unit connected with the earth's movement; and
the unit to-day adopted is, as we know, the sexagesimal second of mean
time. This magnitude, thus defined by the conditions of a natural
motion which may itself be modified, does not seem to offer all the
guarantees desirable from the point of view of invariability. It is
certain that all the friction exercised on the earth--by the tides,
for instance--must slowly lengthen the duration of the day, and must
influence the movement of the earth round the sun. Such influence is
certainly very slight, but it nevertheless gives an unfortunately
arbitrary character to the unit adopted.





.....and not only that, it takes a hell of a big dog to weigh a ton!


what was the question, again?

Subject: RE: .
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 18 Jun 07 - 09:53 PM

Dash
dot dot dot dot
dot dot
dot dot dot

dot dot dot dot
dot dash
dot dot dot

dash dot dot dot
dot
dot
dash dot

dash dot dot
dash dash das
dash dot
dot

dash dot dot dot
dot
dot dot dash dot
dash dash dash
dot dash dot
dot

.

Subject: RE: .
From: Sorcha
Date: 18 Jun 07 - 10:01 PM

Shall I or shan't I? I shat. OK? Deal with it.

Subject: RE: .
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Jun 07 - 10:04 PM

True thing: I am on a library listserve where one of the current topics is how you search the band !!! in a library catalog.

Subject: RE: .
From: Bee
Date: 18 Jun 07 - 11:10 PM

Pun-ctuate me, baby, all night long!

Subject: RE: .
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 18 Jun 07 - 11:37 PM

If you have something to say that is of no worth or value, please post it here.

What if we have something to say that is of worth, but no value? Or maybe of value, but no worth?

Subject: RE: .
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 19 Jun 07 - 02:22 AM

You can't save a thread with this subject name in Windows.

Subject: RE: .
From: treewind
Date: 19 Jun 07 - 03:07 AM

42

Subject: RE: .
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 19 Jun 07 - 03:18 AM

Everything I say is worth saying so I won't post here.

LTS

Subject: RE: .
From: GUEST,Keinstein
Date: 19 Jun 07 - 04:18 AM

Given that e= McSqueers, prove that the square root of two is irritational. Use your result to show that three is a crowd, and four is for a boy. Write on both sides of the paper at once.

Subject: RE: .
From: Dave Hanson
Date: 19 Jun 07 - 04:25 AM

Three mounds.

eric

Subject: RE: .
From: Scooby Doo
Date: 19 Jun 07 - 05:22 AM

Love and Peace.



Scooby

Subject: RE: .
From: BanjoRay
Date: 19 Jun 07 - 05:45 AM

er...

Subject: RE: .
From: Peace
Date: 19 Jun 07 - 10:14 AM

There are some seriously strange folks on this site.

Subject: RE: .
From: JennyO
Date: 19 Jun 07 - 11:25 AM

So what else is new?

Subject: RE: .
From: GUEST,Ian cookieless
Date: 19 Jun 07 - 11:25 AM

I know I lost it in here somewhere.

Subject: RE: .
From: Bill D
Date: 19 Jun 07 - 11:36 AM

Exquisitely ambivalent velocipedes routinely exacerbate lachrymal vicissitudes.

Subject: RE: .
From: concertina ceol
Date: 19 Jun 07 - 11:43 AM

*

Subject: RE: .
From: The PA
Date: 19 Jun 07 - 11:46 AM

Were oranges called oranges because they are orange, or was orange called orange because its the same colour of oranges?

Subject: RE: .
From: Peace
Date: 19 Jun 07 - 12:01 PM

Yeah. And why are bananas?

Subject: RE: .
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Jun 07 - 12:02 PM

I will probably have to have a (routine) colonoscopy. DVDs will be available; the working title is "Guts!"

Subject: RE: .
From: Bill D
Date: 19 Jun 07 - 12:08 PM

There IS a guide available, Rapaire...does your library have the book Through the Alimentary Canal with Gun and Camera by George Chappell?

Subject: RE: .
From: Pistachio
Date: 19 Jun 07 - 12:17 PM

Having just read through all of this thread, up to Rapaire at 12.02... this comes to mind!
(from a poster, that I bought in the late 70s showing a rickety red stool/(seat))
Sometimes I sits and thinks, and sometimes I just sits.....
has been reworked by my husband to read:
Sometimes I sits and thinks, and sometimes I just s*its and stinks.

Happy Tueaday.
H.

Subject: RE: .
From: Rog Peek
Date: 19 Jun 07 - 12:18 PM

Don't forget your wellingtons.

Subject: RE: .
From: Peace
Date: 19 Jun 07 - 12:22 PM

I recall my grandmother telling me that. "Don't forget your wellingtons or you'll catch your death."

Subject: RE: .
From: Bert
Date: 19 Jun 07 - 12:24 PM

You talking about Liz's tits Eric?

Subject: RE: .
From: Peace
Date: 19 Jun 07 - 12:26 PM

In days of old when knights were bold

Subject: RE: .
From: GUEST,Candienne
Date: 19 Jun 07 - 12:27 PM

he remembered his wellies

Subject: RE: .
From: Kipp
Date: 19 Jun 07 - 12:52 PM

Nip it in the bud Having said that I think I shall take my Wellies for a walk.
   Kipp

Subject: RE: .
From: Rog Peek
Date: 19 Jun 07 - 12:54 PM

Yes, actually, my message was for all those sheep farmers.

Subject: RE: .
From: gnu
Date: 19 Jun 07 - 01:13 PM

.... and women weren't so particular

Subject: RE: .
From: GUEST,Canadienne
Date: 19 Jun 07 - 01:16 PM

Baaaaaa!

Subject: RE: .
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 19 Jun 07 - 01:30 PM

Were oranges called oranges because they are orange, or was orange called orange because its the same colour of oranges?

Dunno, but I do know that while I've seen green grapes, yellow apples, and red bananas, I've never seen an orange that wasn't, in fact, orange.

Subject: RE: .
From: Ernest
Date: 19 Jun 07 - 01:36 PM

I can see your point, Peace.

Best
Ernest

Subject: RE: .
From: bobad
Date: 19 Jun 07 - 01:42 PM

You can't keep a good man down

Subject: RE: .
From: Bert
Date: 19 Jun 07 - 02:44 PM

You can keep a good beer down.

Subject: RE: .
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 19 Jun 07 - 02:54 PM

A long thread 'Signifying nothing' The sense of achievement you must have for starting a nothing thread Bruce.....wish I had thought of it.

Subject: RE: . (Ele-mental,Block?)
From: Severn
Date: 19 Jun 07 - 03:13 PM

Tangerines aren't tan, so howcome they aren't called Orange Gerines?


...And by the way.....


Does the title of this thread have an assigned number in the Periodic Table?

If so, is it seated in the section marked "Reserved" or the one marked "Rowdy"?

Smoking or non-smoking?

Or can this period be a-comma-dated at the table at all?

Or would it just be an instance taking a load of colin to Newcastle?

Subject: RE: .
From: Peace
Date: 19 Jun 07 - 03:15 PM

You can take coals to Newcastle, but you can't make them drink.

Subject: RE: .
From: Severn
Date: 19 Jun 07 - 03:23 PM

No, but you CAN take miners, without having to worry about taking them across a state line a la Chuck Berry. And they drink profusely!

Subject: RE: .
From: Peace
Date: 19 Jun 07 - 03:24 PM

A guy was arrested yesterday for transporting trained seals over a State line for immoral porpoises.

Subject: RE: .
From: gnu
Date: 19 Jun 07 - 03:31 PM

Was he going Easter wester?

Subject: RE: .
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Jun 07 - 03:35 PM

Yes indeed he was! I'll put the seal of veracity on that!

Subject: RE: .
From: Severn
Date: 19 Jun 07 - 03:44 PM

Seals? Trying to get a little Greenpeace on the side?


Not to be confused with Our Own Peace, who is a little more experienced.....

Subject: RE: .
From: Donuel
Date: 19 Jun 07 - 05:24 PM

I am now living in the home for the whimsically strange.
The seriously strange have to either pay double rates or live off a 42 million dollar contract.
The madcap crowd here is now under investigation for the negligible homicide of Gary McCreedy. He was found stuck midway in the pool yesterday. Someone had put jello in the water.

Subject: RE: .
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 19 Jun 07 - 05:53 PM

If it wasna fer yer wellies, where wud yu be?
Yu'd be ina hospital or infirmary...

Billy Connoly, via LTS

Subject: RE: .
From: GUEST
Date: 19 Jun 07 - 06:09 PM

Tonight, me daughter wanted uz te gan clubbin' with her!

Aah sez, "Hinny! Aah'm dead against it! And anyways, there's nee seals in Soothampton"

Subject: RE: .
From: GUEST,Geordie Peorgie
Date: 19 Jun 07 - 06:11 PM

Aah divvent knaah what's gannin' on wi' me cookie again. Aah'm hevvin' te log oot then in again every time aah gan on te the forum

That wez me up there just noo!

Subject: RE: .
From: Rowan
Date: 19 Jun 07 - 06:51 PM

O!
Stop?

Subject: RE: .
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 19 Jun 07 - 06:55 PM

Yorr compewter's naw set oop reet bonnie lad!
G.

Subject: RE: .
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Jun 07 - 07:54 PM

Or as we say out here in The West, yer a might short with yer piggin string.

Subject: RE: .
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 20 Jun 07 - 04:30 AM

You'm all puggled, you be.

LTS

Subject: RE: .
From: the lemonade lady
Date: 20 Jun 07 - 04:42 AM

The Final Proof: Global Warming is a Man-Made DisasterThe Final Proof: Global Warming is a Man-Made Disaster. by Steve Connor. Scientists have found the first unequivocal link between man-made greenhouse gases ...


The first of the three Milankovitch Cycles is the Earth's eccentricity. Eccentricity is, simply, the shape of the Earth's orbit around the Sun. This constantly fluctuating, orbital shape ranges between more and less elliptical (0 to 5% ellipticity) on a cycle of about 100,000 years. These oscillations, from more elliptic to less elliptic, are of prime importance to glaciation in that it alters the distance from the Earth to the Sun, thus changing the distance the Sun's short wave radiation must travel to reach Earth, subsequently reducing or increasing the amount of radiation received at the Earth's surface in different seasons.

let's suppose man knows best, and the earth is warming at an exagerated rate (well, except for the southern hemisphere which rather negates the concept of "global warming"), and instituting laws and regulations limiting people's freedoms is the best for all of humanity (like the Kyoto protocols adopted by Europe which has seen a marked increase in green house gasses, or GHG's, since ratification, while the U.S. has managed to reduce GHG's without instituting Kyoto), and producing dubious studies,designed to make us believe that paying taxes feels as good mentally as getting laid, preparing the mindless masses for huge tax increases in order to save mankind from our own foolish, global warming ways. Let's all jump on the global warming bandwagon and step up to the tectonic plate, so to speak, and put our money where our mouth is. Tax it all.


Which is nonsense?

Sal

Subject: RE: .
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 20 Jun 07 - 05:12 AM

My grandma says hang everybody!

Giles.

Subject: RE: .
From: TheSnail
Date: 20 Jun 07 - 06:13 AM

Yeah. I blame all those "constantly flatulating orbital shapes" meself.

Subject: RE: .
From: Rog Peek
Date: 20 Jun 07 - 06:19 AM

Hey Liz, your grandma would't be a Pierrepoint by any chance would she?

Subject: RE: .
From: bobad
Date: 20 Jun 07 - 06:20 AM

Pickles

Subject: RE: .
From: Dave Hanson
Date: 20 Jun 07 - 06:31 AM

Recall information system infrastructures.

[ Liz has three tits Bert ?]


eric

Subject: RE: .
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Jun 07 - 08:32 AM

grep everything, I say! grepping is the answer!

Subject: RE: .
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 20 Jun 07 - 09:08 AM

I once did an audition by a seal pool at the zoo.....one of the seals clapped to which we all split our sides with laughter. I didn't get the gig so I did not get the seal of approval...just the approval of a seal!!!!

Subject: RE: .
From: Leadfingers
Date: 20 Jun 07 - 09:22 AM

100 !

Subject: RE: .
From: Peace
Date: 20 Jun 07 - 09:59 AM

Well, ya have to admit, it doesn't get much more trivial than this thread. I want to thank all the folks who posted here for lending a new definition to the phrase 'useless information'. You are princes and princesses among knights.

May we have this thread closed, please?

Subject: RE: .
From: gnu
Date: 20 Jun 07 - 10:17 AM

Closed? We're just getting to the really useless stuff! Case in point.

Subject: RE: .
From: Dave Hanson
Date: 20 Jun 07 - 10:22 AM

Document human-computer complete applications.

eric

Subject: RE: .
From: Geordie-Peorgie
Date: 20 Jun 07 - 01:13 PM

Wh''ever!

Subject: RE: .
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Jun 07 - 01:51 PM

I've said it before and I'll say it again: rm -r *

Subject: RE: .
From: Severn
Date: 20 Jun 07 - 01:52 PM

Well, in that case, Peace, I'd like to sincerely thank you for the thread that helped us realize the uselessness of the periods in our lives. Ir helped us see the eras of our ways, the sagas that are born every minute, the eons and even the Sylvias, for that matter. Even to view anew my regular trip Around The Week In A Severn Daze. Epochs upon you, my friend! Essentially, Thanks for nothing, and for making us realize that that's what our lives are truly about....


So by your wish,let's end as we should have begun with an invisible indentation, just as we began as we should have ended with that original period. Look closely, as it will be below this paragraph somewhere.

Subject: RE: .
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 20 Jun 07 - 01:56 PM

For some of us it just confirmed the fact that most of what we post is rubbish anyway so a thread full of it was refreshing.

Subject: RE: .
From: Peace
Date: 20 Jun 07 - 02:05 PM

No thread has been MORE full of it, either.

Severn, you are crazy. But I love ya.

I'm outta here fro a few weeks. Y'all take care.

Subject: RE: .
From: gnu
Date: 20 Jun 07 - 02:25 PM

Peace don't go.

Severn... is nothing sacred?

Subject: RE: .
From: GUEST
Date: 20 Jun 07 - 05:40 PM

Happy birfday

Subject: RE: .
From: Bert
Date: 20 Jun 07 - 05:43 PM

Eric, she claims that they are multiplying.

Subject: RE: .
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 20 Jun 07 - 06:53 PM

They are I tell you! Had 6 of 'em lined up on the archway last month.

They've mostly flown away now though.

LTS

Subject: RE: .
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 21 Jun 07 - 11:24 AM

A beautiful pair of tits.
I saw them today.
I tried to grab them.
They flew away

Subject: RE: .
From: Rowan
Date: 21 Jun 07 - 06:35 PM

The point of your post wasn't entirely useless, Peace; it provides an excellent test of fine hand-eye control of cursor and mouse.

Cheers, Rowan

Subject: RE: .
From: cookster
Date: 22 Jun 07 - 05:37 PM

WUZ UP!!

Subject: RE: .
From: Rog Peek
Date: 22 Jun 07 - 05:56 PM

WAZUK?

Subject: RE: .
From: gnu
Date: 22 Jun 07 - 06:39 PM

Oh. Now yer jus bein silly.

Subject: RE: .
From: gnu
Date: 22 Jun 07 - 06:40 PM

Cool.

Subject: RE: .
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 22 Jun 07 - 06:41 PM

I've been in a state of self-imposed pop culture illiteracy for about six years now. What I need to know is whether or not people are still saying "Whut up dawg?"

Now, I don't believe I've ever actually said "Whut up dawg?", but if I should get the urge to do so I'd like to know that it's still acceptable. Heck, I wouldn't want to have some young person look at me as if I'd just said "Twenty-three Skidoo!" Know what I mean?

Subject: RE: .
From: Don Firth
Date: 22 Jun 07 - 09:10 PM

Cool, dude!

Don Firth

Subject: RE: .
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 23 Jun 07 - 02:21 AM

Da bum!!!!


Can't say 'da bomb' these days.. people get twichy and start shooting.

LTS

Subject: RE: .
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 23 Jun 07 - 10:51 AM

Yep blown up out of all proportion!

Subject: RE: .
From: gnu
Date: 23 Jun 07 - 01:55 PM

"Twenty-three Skidoo"??? What the hell? Bombardier made a 12.3, a 16, an 18 (twin cylinder), a 24..... never a 23 that I know of.

Subject: RE: .
From: cookster
Date: 23 Jun 07 - 02:33 PM

dhfsdvsdhfcJWASCVHSDFCACHDHHhkjhjdsfhghadfvsdhfaewrfsdfawfrgsdgryhtjdskfgrhfhearhfdjgherhfahawekgherahrgfaSHFGJHKRGJHEURGHAKJDHFWU4R5YABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZGGFffffgfgfcvxcfgvhjbnkm,lezsxrdctfvgybhnj1234567891011121314151617181920212223242526272829303132333435363738394041424344454647484950515253545556575859606162636465666768969707172737475767778798081828384858687888990919293949596979899100asdfghjkkkkkkkkkkkkll'qwertyuiopppppppppppp[zxcvbnm,./aaaaaaaaaaaabbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbccccccccccccccccccddddddddddddddddddddddeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeffffffffffffffffffgggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiijjjjjjjjjjjjjkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkklllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnoooooooooooooooooooooooppppppppppppppppppppppppppppqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrssssssssssssssssssssttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Subject: RE: .
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 23 Jun 07 - 08:42 PM

I think cookster dozed off over his/her keyboard. Totally missed the # key though!

LTS

Subject: RE: .
From: cookster
Date: 23 Jun 07 - 08:59 PM

nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo IIIIIIIIIIIIII dddddddddddddddddddiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiddddddddddddddddnnnnnnnnn'''''''''''tttttttttttttttttt.....................

Subject: RE: .
From: cookster
Date: 23 Jun 07 - 09:08 PM

by the way I'm a boy.

Subject: RE: .
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Jun 07 - 09:15 PM

Prove it.

Subject: RE: .
From: cookster
Date: 23 Jun 07 - 09:18 PM

Piss off!

Subject: RE: .
From: Azizi
Date: 23 Jun 07 - 09:34 PM

"I'm outta here fro a few weeks. Y'all take care."
-Peace; Date: 20 Jun 07 - 02:05 PM

Hey, I just got back in this joint and Peace is taking a break for a few weeks??!!

What?! And when he comes back, who's gonna be the next person to go to the super doober secret training cen-

Oops! I spilled the beans.

Sorry...

;o)

Subject: RE: .
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 23 Jun 07 - 10:07 PM

Alomng the lines of Bee-dubya-ell's post of 22 Jun 07 - 06:41 PM above

What ever happened to "keep on truckin'"?

Subject: RE: .
From: Stu
Date: 24 Jun 07 - 04:49 AM

The Whelk on the Mountain

The Rambling Whelks of Pleasure

The Whelk Behind the Bar

Planxty Whelk

The Foggy Whelk

Whelks in the Ocean

Toss the Whelks

Music for a Found Whelk

The Whelk at the Churn

The Wind that Shakes the Whelk

The Galway Whelk

O'Carolan's Farewell to Whelks

Subject: RE: .
From: JennyO
Date: 24 Jun 07 - 05:01 AM

I'm overwhelkmed.

Subject: RE: .
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 24 Jun 07 - 07:18 AM

Indiana Jones and the Whelk of Doom?

Last Whelk in Paris.

All's Whelk that ends whelk...

Take a whelk on the wild side....

We'll keep a whelk home in the hillsides.

LTS

Subject: RE: .
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 24 Jun 07 - 10:38 AM

Whelk meat again.....
Take a whelk on the wild side.
Whelking in the rain.
Just a closer whelk with thee.
These boot were made for whelking.
Whelking the dog (sorry sounds a bit bestial).
Let's go for a little whelk, under the moon of love.
Will you help me with the whelking.

Subject: RE: .
From: cookster
Date: 24 Jun 07 - 10:41 AM

what does whelk mean?

Subject: RE: .
From: bobad
Date: 24 Jun 07 - 10:54 AM

Whelk

Subject: RE: .
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Jun 07 - 11:17 AM

...There was harpineery and picaneery
And boat steerery also
And twelve jolly tars to tug at the oars
And a-whelking we did go brave boys
And a-whelking we did go

We struck that whelk and down she went
By the flourish of her tail
By chance we lost a man overboard
And we did not get that whelk brave boys
And we did not get that whelk....

Subject: RE: .
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 24 Jun 07 - 10:54 PM

Whelk Oil Beef Hooked...

Subject: RE: .
From: Mr Happy
Date: 25 Jun 07 - 09:47 AM

RED

Subject: RE: .
From: Hillheader
Date: 25 Jun 07 - 03:53 PM

The Best I Can Do

Subject: RE: .
From: polaitaly
Date: 25 Jun 07 - 03:58 PM

....is to make the thread eat itself. Gnam !

Subject: RE: .
From: cookster
Date: 26 Jun 07 - 12:04 AM

asdfghjkl;qwertyuiop[[]\zxcvbnm,./zqawsxecdrfvtbgyhunjmk,l.p;//'][[[ppoiuytrewertyuiop['

Subject: RE: .
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 26 Jun 07 - 02:47 AM

There is a lot of 'egabrag' on here.... or... for those who do not recognise the word..I will rewrite it............There is a lot of backward 'garbage' on here.

Subject: RE: . Revenge of the useless thread.
From: Peace
Date: 04 Jul 07 - 03:20 AM

Part Deux . . . .

Subject: RE: .
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 04 Jul 07 - 04:18 AM

ducks??? Where???

LTS

Subject: RE: .
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 04 Jul 07 - 04:18 AM

Long may it reign in the annals of mudcat superliterature!!!!

Subject: RE: .
From: Peace
Date: 04 Jul 07 - 04:23 AM

I hope it rains in the canals, too.

Subject: RE: .
From: Azizi
Date: 04 Jul 07 - 11:48 AM

Did you say rein, dear?

Well, we can't forget the very best reindeer song the world has ever heard:

Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer (reindeer)
Had a very shiny nose (like a light bulb)
And if you ever saw it (saw it)
You would even say it glowed (like a flashlight)
All of the other reindeer (reindeer)
Used to laugh and call him names (like Pinocchio)
They never let poor Rudolph (Rudolph)
Join in any reindeer games (like Monopoly)

Then one foggy Christmas Eve, Santa came to say {say what?!}
Rudolph with your nose so bright
Won't you guide my sleigh tonight?

Then how the reindeer loved him (loved him)
And they shouted out with glee (Hurrah!}
Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer (reindeer)
You'll go down in history...(like Columbus}

-snip-

[If anybody wants to know, that was sung by kids in Pittsburgh, PA waay back in 1988. But I'm sure other people have sang it before that year and after that year in lots of other places]

Subject: RE: .
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Jul 07 - 01:34 PM

I disagree, Azizi. I think that the joik singing of the Sami peoples have some of the best reindeer songs.

Subject: RE: .
From: Severn
Date: 04 Jul 07 - 02:53 PM

Part Deux?

Second period?

Same teacher?

Same fine coarse load?

Same Silly Bus? Same passengers?

Same deluded, deleted, delighted, dilated pupils?

Same lack of Class (occaisionally skipped altogether)?

Same passing interest, at best?

Are we all working on the same principals?

....I guess recess is over, and nothing receeds like recess, save the odd hairline.

Well, I'm ready! As the old Spiritual said:
"Humble yourself, the bell done rung......"


There! THIS oughta learn us!.....

Subject: RE: .
From: Peace
Date: 04 Jul 07 - 03:22 PM

Well spoke!

Subject: RE: .
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 04 Jul 07 - 04:18 PM

I knew bicycle wheels had spokes but never heard of a well with a spoke before!

Subject: RE: .
From: Peace
Date: 04 Jul 07 - 04:29 PM

Nor a well with a spoke aft.

Subject: RE: (after the Grace) .
From: Severn
Date: 04 Jul 07 - 04:46 PM

Yes, but wheels can have wells, as well as spokes, as I know from Knowledge wielded by various spokespeope.

"Wheel-A-Wheel-A-Well-Ya......"
(as the Irish kids say)

Subject: RE: .
From: Severn
Date: 04 Jul 07 - 04:54 PM

Georgiansilver?

Is that anything like "The Lone Ranger & Gracie"?

Subject: RE: .
From: Azizi
Date: 04 Jul 07 - 06:26 PM

Well, they say that all's well that ends well.

But, that may depend on what the meaning of "well" is.

Subject: RE: Covery .
From: Severn
Date: 04 Jul 07 - 06:58 PM

There was a doctor, name of Bell
Who went and fell into a well.
Serves him right. He shoulda known
To tend to the sick, and leave the well alone
Now he's long gone, fron Kentucky
Long gone, he wasn't too lucky.
Long gone, that's what I mean.
He's a long gone doctor from Bowling Green!


You mean, like that, Azizi?......

Subject: RE: .
From: Azizi
Date: 04 Jul 07 - 07:24 PM

Kinda sorta.

Yes and no.

Hitch the mule to the wagon

and away we go.

Subject: RE: .
From: Azizi
Date: 04 Jul 07 - 07:43 PM

And if you don't happen to have a mule or a wagon, a space ship will do.

Subject: RE: .
From: Severn
Date: 04 Jul 07 - 08:00 PM

Oh Beautiful For Spaceship Guys
God Shed His Skin on Thee
And Crown Thy Good
For Robin Hood
From Sea To Shining Sea!



Hey, it's the 4th, even though we have a violent thunderstorm going on!

Subject: RE: .
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 05 Jul 07 - 09:06 AM

I hate violence..can anyone stop that storm?

Subject: RE: .
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Jul 07 - 09:27 AM

I like violence, 'cause they look nice and smell so pretty.

Subject: RE: .
From: Severn
Date: 05 Jul 07 - 07:15 PM

Noses are red
Violence are black and blue.....

Subject: RE: .
From: gnu
Date: 05 Jul 07 - 07:19 PM

Achooooooooo! Hey! Fever!

Subject: RE: .
From: John Hardly
Date: 05 Jul 07 - 07:52 PM

I wish this thread would drop offa the top page here.

Subject: RE: .
From: John Hardly
Date: 05 Jul 07 - 07:53 PM

damn

Subject: RE: .
From: Peace
Date: 05 Jul 07 - 07:53 PM

I could not agree more. It is a completely useless thread.

Subject: RE: .
From: John Hardly
Date: 05 Jul 07 - 09:39 PM

I'm catching a connection between how much I dislike this thread, express that dislike, and its appearance on the front page. I haven't figured out the exact nature of that connection, but I'm working on it.

Subject: RE: .
From: John Hardly
Date: 05 Jul 07 - 09:40 PM

damn

Subject: RE: .
From: Azizi
Date: 05 Jul 07 - 09:46 PM

For no reason that I can think of this commercial popped into my brain:

What do you want?
Nut 'N Honey.

-snip-

What could that mean?

Subject: RE: .
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Jul 07 - 10:31 PM

Bad punctuation, for one thing. It should be

Nut 'n' Honey

as two letters are missing from the word "and."

Subject: RE: .
From: Azizi
Date: 05 Jul 07 - 10:57 PM

So there's nuttin wrong with my brain?

Pop pop fizz fizz oh what a relief that is!

Subject: RE: .
From: Peace
Date: 05 Jul 07 - 11:01 PM

John, there appears to be some cause and effect at work here. I'll try to figure it out, too. If you do first, let me know.

Subject: RE: .
From: gnu
Date: 06 Jul 07 - 05:30 AM

Wolverines.

Subject: RE: .
From: John Hardly
Date: 06 Jul 07 - 05:50 AM

"John, there appears to be some cause and effect at work here. I'll try to figure it out, too. If you do first, let me know."

Sounds like a good plan. We'll work on the problem and meanwhile hope that the thing disappears of its own accord.

Subject: RE: .
From: John Hardly
Date: 06 Jul 07 - 05:50 AM

damn

Subject: RE: .
From: gnu
Date: 06 Jul 07 - 05:59 AM

Not beavers. Wolverines.

Subject: RE: .
From: kendall
Date: 06 Jul 07 - 06:19 AM

Isn't it awful what they did to Marie Antoinnette?

Subject: RE: .
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 06 Jul 07 - 08:24 AM

Poor lass was a head of her time!

Subject: RE: .
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 06 Jul 07 - 08:25 AM

I thought of something profound that would have so refreshed this thread but now I'm here I can't remember what it was.

Subject: RE: .
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Jul 07 - 08:57 AM

Marie's executioner was from a poor family. He was just trying to get a head.

Subject: RE: .
From: John Hardly
Date: 06 Jul 07 - 09:17 AM

Y'all joke about Marie Antoinnette, but I think it is marvelous the role that this brilliant woman played in discovering the radioactive properties of uranium.

Subject: RE: .
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Jul 07 - 09:21 AM

Radium, I thought it was. Uranium was used as a pottery glaze in her time, I thought.

Subject: RE: .
From: Ebbie
Date: 06 Jul 07 - 12:43 PM

"damn" LOL

Subject: RE: .
From: Peace
Date: 06 Jul 07 - 01:41 PM

She was married to Pierre Antoinnette, wasn't she?

Subject: RE: .
From: John Hardly
Date: 06 Jul 07 - 02:43 PM

Yes, and it was a sad story -- another case of a young woman rushing into marriage just because of Pierre pressure.

Subject: RE: .
From: John Hardly
Date: 06 Jul 07 - 02:43 PM

damn.

Subject: RE: .
From: Severn
Date: 06 Jul 07 - 02:45 PM

This gets Curie-is-her and curiouser all the time!

Hard to tell the Cure-ers from the Curies when all we're left is the curios and the cure-alls and the Curie-err & 'Ives Itchings.

Ahhhhh, yes!......and Greer Garson to make the medical history on screen. One hour with interVenus and a lifetime with Mariecurie, as they used to aproximately say about another cure, and I'm not talking about Hickory Smoke, either!

Subject: RE: .
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Jul 07 - 02:50 PM

I met Poppa-San and Momma-San and Salver-San in Korea.

Subject: RE: .
From: John Hardly
Date: 06 Jul 07 - 02:51 PM

anybody else suddenly hungry for some Thai or Indian food?

Subject: RE: .
From: John Hardly
Date: 06 Jul 07 - 02:52 PM

damn

Subject: RE: .
From: gnu
Date: 06 Jul 07 - 02:59 PM

Gulo gulo.

Subject: RE: .
From: Severn
Date: 06 Jul 07 - 03:00 PM

You made the most of a Korea opportunity with a good Korea move in buying all that salve from your Seoul Brother Salver-San that he ordered from the back of that American comic book, and salve-aging your own destiny. You're a good problem salver

Subject: RE: .
From: Kampervan
Date: 06 Jul 07 - 03:08 PM

Be like the Gecko

Subject: RE: .
From: Severn
Date: 06 Jul 07 - 03:08 PM

Can we curry your favor by favoring your curry. You can be a diplomatic currier and hand deliver it to us without complaining, in your best Sunday civil suit. If I had my pickin's, of(main)course, I'd order a Lemon Bluegrass Delma Curry.

Subject: RE: .
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Jul 07 - 03:52 PM

Wasn't she that exotic dancer who performed nightly in that off-limits club just outside Ft. Meade?

Subject: RE: .
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 06 Jul 07 - 04:59 PM

Mead...thats a fine drink..particularly the stuff made in Cornwall.

Subject: RE: .
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 06 Jul 07 - 05:16 PM

Hey

Subject: RE: .
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 06 Jul 07 - 05:17 PM

200?

Subject: RE: .
From: Peace
Date: 06 Jul 07 - 05:25 PM

Well, GS, you don't look a day over 96.

Subject: RE: .
From: Severn
Date: 06 Jul 07 - 05:32 PM

Oh Wolverine,
Why can't you be true?.....

Subject: RE: .
From: Peace
Date: 06 Jul 07 - 05:35 PM

They say don't go, on Wolverine Mountain . . . .

Subject: RE: .
From: Severn
Date: 06 Jul 07 - 05:40 PM

Margaret Mead. Wasn't she an exotic dancer who did the Gulo Gulo dance in Cornwall with Jose Gecko and some flamingos?

Subject: RE: .
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Jul 07 - 05:41 PM

No, that was Jose Flamingo who did the gecko dance when he got full of Margaret and mead.

Subject: RE: .
From: Peace
Date: 06 Jul 07 - 05:42 PM

Jose can you see . . . .

Subject: RE: .
From: Severn
Date: 06 Jul 07 - 05:44 PM

Gnu, how come those Verenes don't look any any more wooly than those gerenes mentioned a while looked tan?

Subject: RE: .
From: Severn
Date: 06 Jul 07 - 05:54 PM

Which is the better fire company, Hose "A" or Hose "B"?

And speaking of ho's, what ever became of that girl Anna, that everybody used to hose in the Wholly Babble?

She made Magdeline look like Delilah and made Delilah look like Jezabel!

Subject: RE: .
From: Severn
Date: 06 Jul 07 - 05:56 PM

....Ago...

Subject: RE: .
From: John Hardly
Date: 06 Jul 07 - 06:08 PM

I won't be here for the 300th post, so I'm claiming it now.

Subject: RE: .
From: Severn
Date: 06 Jul 07 - 06:32 PM

Saves you from arm wrestling Leadfingers for it!

Subject: RE: .
From: John Hardly
Date: 06 Jul 07 - 06:42 PM

...or leadwrestling armfingers.

Subject: RE: .
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Jul 07 - 06:46 PM

Or fingering...no, never mind.

Subject: RE: .
From: GUEST,Peter Woodruff
Date: 06 Jul 07 - 09:19 PM

What's the point?

Peter

Subject: RE: .
From: Peace
Date: 06 Jul 07 - 09:31 PM

It's a craps term. Also, it's the guy/gal who walks well ahead of his/her squad/platoon. It's the apex, the acme, the football guard. It's the subsequent yes to the non-point no. It's a cloud on a sunlit day. It's the most.

Subject: RE: .
From: John Hardly
Date: 06 Jul 07 - 09:45 PM

It may even be the ginchiest.

Subject: RE: .
From: Peace
Date: 06 Jul 07 - 09:48 PM

Jaysus, I haven't heard that term in a long time.

Subject: RE: .
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Jul 07 - 09:59 PM

"What is the sound of a point man pointing?"
"HOLY JESUS CRAP!! THEY'RE ALL OVER THE DAMN PLACE!!! LET'S GIT OUTA HERE!!!!"

"What is the sound of a pint man pinting?"
"HOLY JESUS CRAP!! THEY WERE ALL OVER THE DAMN PLACE!!! But I beat them off and saved the platoon with only a stick I picked up from a booby trap that I kept from exploding by standing on it.... Gimme another beer, huh?"

Subject: RE: .
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 07 Jul 07 - 03:29 AM

Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

LTS

Subject: RE: .
From: gnu
Date: 07 Jul 07 - 03:59 AM

Well, at least it's the most.

Subject: RE: .
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 07 Jul 07 - 04:14 AM

Rather a beer than a bier eh?

Subject: RE: .
From: rock chick
Date: 07 Jul 07 - 06:06 AM

getting out of bed.......No second thoughts its Saturday!! Zzzzzz

Subject: RE: .
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 07 Jul 07 - 07:31 AM

Ugh....was at the gym at 8am...showered and shopping by 10.30am...don't waste your Saturday....HEY ROCK CHICK...WAKE UP...I'M TALKING TO YOU.....GET OUT OF YOUR PIT YOU IDLE...er.....emmm.......oh what the heck. Enjoy your rest/sleep.
Great thread this....or is it?
Nice one Brucie...
Best wishes, Mike.

Subject: RE: .
From: Severn
Date: 07 Jul 07 - 08:12 AM

"SNORRO! She makes the sign of the Z!
SNORRO (Snorro)
SNORRO (Snorro)
SNORRO.........


From "Eh?" to ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ in two seconds! Not bad!

Of course, most of those who fight duels with swords only need one second. Elle Snorro must've gone BACK for seconds!

Rock back to sleep and rejoin with rejoinders when you awake!......

Subject: RE: .
From: cookster
Date: 07 Jul 07 - 06:21 PM

Long ago in a galaxy far far away.......

Subject: RE: .
From: John Hardly
Date: 07 Jul 07 - 06:24 PM

"Long ago in a galaxy far far away......."

...a family drove down from Canada, hoping the old Ford would stay together long enough to get them to Nashville.

Subject: RE: .
From: Peace
Date: 07 Jul 07 - 06:27 PM

There is a new "Grapes of Wrath" in the making here . . . .

Subject: RE: .
From: cookster
Date: 07 Jul 07 - 06:29 PM

Long ago in a galaxy far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far away................................
....................................................................
That's far away!!!!!

Subject: RE: .
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 07 Jul 07 - 06:33 PM

Long ago in a distaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaant galaxy faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaar faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaar away...is that far enough?

Subject: RE: .
From: cookster
Date: 07 Jul 07 - 06:35 PM

No not quite.

Subject: RE: .
From: autolycus
Date: 07 Jul 07 - 07:21 PM

Q. Why do pigs go 'oink'?

A. Because they are pigs.      That's what pigs do.



The Caspian Sea is a greater sculptor t - no, that's making sense.

My left slipper is a greater sculptor than it isn't. Damn, it's still making sense, so it might have value/worth.

Errrrrrrrrrrrm - tables do fine potatoes make. There, that should do it.

Trouble is, it made me laugh, so IT BLOODY HAD VALUE.

Thind is , when you're a taoist, there's no sich thung os 'no value'.


                         (Curtain)





    Ivor

Subject: RE: .
From: Severn
Date: 07 Jul 07 - 08:40 PM

I've had the Bacon Of Rath, but never their grapes.

Because the pigs involved could no longer go Oink, I guess.

Subject: RE: .
From: Severn
Date: 07 Jul 07 - 08:43 PM

I went to an Old Time Fiddler's convention in a Galax far away, once.

Subject: RE: .
From: Peace
Date: 07 Jul 07 - 08:44 PM

That I would believe, Severn.

Subject: RE: .
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Jul 07 - 10:22 PM

Was it a tao-tapping good time?

Subject: RE: .
From: John Hardly
Date: 07 Jul 07 - 10:30 PM

more likely a keg-tapping good time.

Subject: RE: .
From: autolycus
Date: 08 Jul 07 - 06:00 AM

If it's a 'tao-tapping good time', then it is not the Tao.

Tiao, baby.

Subject: RE: .
From: Severn
Date: 08 Jul 07 - 07:10 AM

"With a Tao, Rao, Rao, The Brittish Grenadiers...."


....But maybe it was a Cow-Tipping good (ol') time! Something some American kids do when they're a bit tipsy, themselves.

But there's no use in crying over spilt milk.....Or if you drink Skim, split milk.


Dairy goes! Dare she goes!.....


"Dairy down, down, down, dairy down....."


But, we knew we could count on you when the chips were down. Of course, when the chips are down, it means the cows have been eating the geese again.

...(HOLY COW! I haven't thought of THAT joke since I was back in Bovinity School!)


While you're at it, though, don't forget the tip of your waitress, your hat and the iceberg.

(You've gotta be careful tipping icebergs though, just ask Cap'n Smith of the Titanic).....

Subject: RE: .
From: cookster
Date: 08 Jul 07 - 09:41 AM

He's dead......

Subject: RE: .
From: gnu
Date: 08 Jul 07 - 10:11 AM

That's not the point.

Subject: RE: .
From: Severn
Date: 08 Jul 07 - 10:21 AM

Duh! (slaps forehead)

Of corpse he is! Down with his ship, nearer his God to thee and all that stuff. I must've seen it in at least two movies!.....

Good point, cookster!....And a child shall lead us!

What was I thinking? What!?!?-WAS I thinking?....

It was those OTHER Captain Smiths that either got their life spared
by Polka-Haunt-Us and then signed her into a motel using his real name or else finally squared things up with one Unfortunate Miss Bailey. How could I ever forget?

(A question that leads to the conclusion that I've even forgotten HOW to forget, but somehow managed to do so despite myself. A Senior Moment to the second power!)

Subject: RE: .
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 08 Jul 07 - 10:23 AM

The Titanic jokes always go down well.

Subject: RE: .
From: cookster
Date: 08 Jul 07 - 12:35 PM

And then again they can be a Titanic problem.

Subject: RE: .
From: cookster
Date: 08 Jul 07 - 03:42 PM

Really they can be.

Subject: RE: .
From: autolycus
Date: 08 Jul 07 - 04:15 PM

At the risk of saying something of value, isn't anything amusing of worth and thus not suitable for this thread?

I may be missing something here.

Like a life.






       Ivor

Subject: RE: .
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 08 Jul 07 - 04:24 PM

Why..... was there something amusing?........

Subject: RE: .
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Jul 07 - 04:30 PM

A Musing? Like poetry?

Subject: RE: .
From: John Hardly
Date: 08 Jul 07 - 05:21 PM

They're marketing a new paper towel. They're calling it...

ab-Zorba deGrease

Just trying to bring this thread in line with the "Greatest Movies of All Time" thread.

It needed alignment.

Subject: RE: .
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 08 Jul 07 - 05:25 PM

What was the war movie where the actors kept pulling faces.....was it "The Gurns of Navarone"?

Subject: RE: .
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Jul 07 - 06:41 PM

I had one once, but we were so poor we had to sell it in order to buy the wall we had our backs to. The wolf was at the door, so we ate it.

Subject: RE: .
From: gnu
Date: 08 Jul 07 - 08:06 PM

Yeeeees by'.

Seems to be far much too much sense being made here lately, what with FACTS being thrown about and all.

Recall the very first post and be true: "If you have something to say that is of no worth or value, please post it here."

Subject: RE: .
From: bobad
Date: 08 Jul 07 - 08:18 PM

"The moons not yellow, it's chicken." BD

Subject: RE: .
From: cookster
Date: 08 Jul 07 - 10:06 PM

The moon,s not made of rock, it's made of cheese.

Subject: RE: .
From: Severn
Date: 08 Jul 07 - 10:33 PM

Yes, but some of my "facts" were only Historectomy, that is to say, History once removed. That still counts, hunh?

Or maybe it was re-sent passed history. Whatever, the facts didn't get in the way, I hope.

However, newspapers DO make money on such stuff, and that IS value...

Subject: RE: .
From: frogprince
Date: 08 Jul 07 - 11:41 PM

Why a duck?

Subject: RE: .
From: Peace
Date: 09 Jul 07 - 12:35 AM

Because . . . .

Subject: RE: .
From: Peace
Date: 09 Jul 07 - 12:39 AM

Y'all be doin' right good keeping this useless thread goin'! See you down the line.

Subject: RE: .
From: JennyO
Date: 09 Jul 07 - 02:18 AM

What's the difference between half a hen?

Subject: RE: .
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 09 Jul 07 - 02:39 AM

neither, it's both different anyway!

Subject: RE: .
From: JennyO
Date: 09 Jul 07 - 03:16 AM

No....




One of its legs is both the same.

Subject: RE: .
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 09 Jul 07 - 05:00 AM

I love fowl jokes

Subject: RE: .
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Jul 07 - 09:13 AM

Did you know?

Subject: RE: .
From: gnu
Date: 09 Jul 07 - 09:49 AM

Nope. I had no idea.

Subject: RE: .
From: John Hardly
Date: 09 Jul 07 - 10:34 AM

wa-HOO!! ...300!!!

Subject: RE: .
From: John Hardly
Date: 09 Jul 07 - 10:35 AM

^
^
^
premature ejaculation.

Subject: RE: .
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 09 Jul 07 - 11:11 AM

come again?

Subject: RE: .
From: JennyO
Date: 09 Jul 07 - 11:12 AM

You can say that again.

Subject: RE: .
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Jul 07 - 12:36 PM

Ah, a midsummer night's dream.

Subject: RE: .
From: gnu
Date: 09 Jul 07 - 12:57 PM

Ah, there's the rub.

Subject: RE: .
From: John Hardly
Date: 09 Jul 07 - 12:59 PM

ber bisquit.

Subject: RE: .
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 09 Jul 07 - 01:02 PM

I enjoy a good digestive biscuit myself, how about you?

Subject: RE: .
From: gnu
Date: 09 Jul 07 - 02:41 PM

The crux of the biscuit is the '.

Zappa

Subject: RE: .
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Jul 07 - 03:13 PM

I used a Zappa when I smoked.

Subject: RE: .
From: John Hardly
Date: 09 Jul 07 - 04:06 PM

How did you smoke without actually catching fire?

Subject: RE: .
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Jul 07 - 04:15 PM

Judicious use of cone 3 firing.

Subject: RE: .
From: Severn
Date: 09 Jul 07 - 04:26 PM

Henceforth, half a hen will be known as "twice Hensfourth"

And 'alf an' 'en will be known as 'ardly 'enything.

Subject: RE: .
From: John Hardly
Date: 09 Jul 07 - 04:38 PM

This thread could sure use some sex to sell it.

Subject: RE: .
From: Severn
Date: 09 Jul 07 - 05:24 PM

SECTS to sell it? With appropriate ad slogans,

as in:


"Shaker All Night Long"?

"The Quakers Are Feeling Their Oats"?

"Do They Wear Anything Beneath Their Cults"?

"Synods Its Evil Head In Favor"?

"Not-So-Plain Jains"

"Shake, Shake, Shake! Shake Yer Buddah!"?




You folks can supply the graphics for the ads......

Subject: RE: .
From: Severn
Date: 09 Jul 07 - 05:31 PM

Or even,

"How Many Mennonite Can One Girl Go Through?"

Subject: RE: .
From: Severn
Date: 09 Jul 07 - 05:44 PM

If 'alf of an 'en swells up th the size of an 'ole one, then all's well that 'ens swell?

Subject: RE: .
From: autolycus
Date: 09 Jul 07 - 06:07 PM

The 'en''' ?????

Subject: RE: .
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 09 Jul 07 - 06:26 PM

What an 'en'dearing thread

Subject: RE: .
From: John Hardly
Date: 09 Jul 07 - 06:31 PM

Too bad it can't become an 'en'ding thread.

Subject: RE: .
From: John Hardly
Date: 09 Jul 07 - 06:32 PM

damn

Subject: RE: .
From: gnu
Date: 09 Jul 07 - 07:32 PM

Severn! Contain yourself.

That oughta keep him punning for while. :-)

Subject: RE: .
From: gnu
Date: 09 Jul 07 - 08:53 PM

Lord don't you take my my my myyyyy whiskey, rock and roll. That's what I am.

w

Subject: RE: .
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Jul 07 - 09:20 PM

Forty million bottles of beer on the wall,
Forty million bottles of beer....

Subject: RE: .
From: John Hardly
Date: 09 Jul 07 - 09:21 PM

Let me get this straight...

...you are rock and roll? ...at the same time?

What keeps your whiskey from spilling?

Subject: RE: .
From: Joe_F
Date: 09 Jul 07 - 10:20 PM

I can state with complete confidence that I'll never amount to anything.

Subject: RE: .
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Jul 07 - 10:29 PM

I can state with complete confidence that I agree completely.

Subject: RE: .
From: Bert
Date: 09 Jul 07 - 10:46 PM

If a herring and a half costs three ha'pence, how much does a dozen cost?

Subject: RE: .
From: Stephen L. Rich
Date: 10 Jul 07 - 12:26 AM

The grass is always greener than its weakest link.

Subject: RE: .
From: JennyO
Date: 10 Jul 07 - 12:38 AM

Why is a duck when it spins?

Subject: RE: .
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 10 Jul 07 - 02:25 AM

Bert..the answer surely is a 'Bob'

Subject: RE: .
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Jul 07 - 09:08 AM

Why would I want half a herring? I want to hear about half a herring and why I should want one-half a herring instead of a whole herring. A whole herring I could eat while sipping cherry herring, but a half herring wouldn't make me happy.

Subject: RE: .
From: gnu
Date: 10 Jul 07 - 10:05 AM

Well, I suppose some may be hard of herring.

Subject: RE: .
From: JennyO
Date: 10 Jul 07 - 10:08 AM

What? What?

Speak up!

Subject: RE: .
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 10 Jul 07 - 11:32 AM

Something fishy going on here! Best not to carp on about it I suppose.

Subject: RE: .
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Jul 07 - 11:32 AM

One boulder? Or two?

Subject: RE: .
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Jul 07 - 12:22 PM

One or two? One or two?

Subject: RE: .
From: JennyO
Date: 10 Jul 07 - 01:07 PM

Two - and a dash of milk please.

Subject: RE: .
From: autolycus
Date: 10 Jul 07 - 02:18 PM

There'll




Be




One bottle of beer, hanging on t............

Subject: RE: .
From: John Hardly
Date: 10 Jul 07 - 02:55 PM

Is this the thread where we talk about our experiences being pregnant?

Subject: RE: .
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 10 Jul 07 - 02:59 PM

Have you taken the test then John? If you are, I certainly am not the father!

Subject: RE: .
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Jul 07 - 03:51 PM

Paul Tibbets was born in my home town.

Subject: RE: .
From: John Hardly
Date: 10 Jul 07 - 04:27 PM

"Have you taken the test then John? If you are, I certainly am not the father!"

Certainly NOT! We only had that one night together. Man, I was good though, wasn't I?

...hung like a gnat was a compliment, wasn't it?

Subject: RE: .
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 10 Jul 07 - 04:37 PM

ROFLOL.....Should have been huing like a common criminal I reckon!

Subject: RE: .
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 10 Jul 07 - 04:38 PM

hung even

Subject: RE: .
From: Severn
Date: 10 Jul 07 - 04:53 PM

GS,

Hung like a horse OR hung like a horse thief? You get to choose only one.

Rapaire,

Thanks for the Paul Tidbits!

Subject: RE: .
From: beardedbruce
Date: 10 Jul 07 - 04:54 PM

"
From: Georgiansilver - PM
Date: 10 Jul 07 - 04:38 PM

hung even "

As opposed to hung odd?

Subject: RE: .
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Jul 07 - 05:25 PM

Did you know that the British hangmen used a mathematical formula to determine the drop? But it was also needful to view the "subject" as the person's build (e.g., a thick, bull-like neck) could affect the result. In this, as in so many other human endeavors, science was helpful but experience was what pulled it off successfully.

Subject: RE: .
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 10 Jul 07 - 05:27 PM

pulled what off?..the head...LOL

Subject: RE: .
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Jul 07 - 11:02 PM

Here's the table that was used. This assumes a nice, thick, strong rope. You can work out the formula.

Hanging drop (assuming thick strong rope):

Weight                                 Drop

14 stone (196 lbs.)                   8 ft. 0 in.
13 1/2 stone (189 lbs.)                8 ft. 2 in.
13 stone (182 lbs.)                   8 ft. 4 in.
12 1/2 stone (175 lbs.)                8 ft. 6 in.
12 stone (168 lbs.)                   8 ft. 8 in.
11 1/2 stone (161 lbs.)                8 ft. 10 in.
11 stone (154 lbs.)                   9 ft. 0 in.
10 1/2 stone (147 lbs.)                9 ft. 2 in.
10 stone (140 lbs.)                   9 ft. 4 in.
9 1/2 stone (133 lbs.)                9 ft. 6 in.
9 stone (126 lbs.)                     9 ft. 8 in.
8 1/2 stone (119 lbs.)                9 ft. 10 in.
8 stone (112 lbs.)                     10 ft. 0 in

I guess if you weighed more than 196 lbs. they didn't hang you.

Aren't you glad to find this sort of thing out? You never know when you might need to know this stuff.

Subject: RE: .
From: JennyO
Date: 10 Jul 07 - 11:11 PM

Do you think this might be useful for hanging my new curtains?

Subject: RE: .
From: Bert
Date: 11 Jul 07 - 12:37 AM

Bob's your Uncle.

Subject: RE: .
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 11 Jul 07 - 02:38 AM

Uncle Bob died some years back and Aunty has gone now too...........
Still got aunty Marj and Aunty Edna.....

Subject: RE: .
From: JennyO
Date: 11 Jul 07 - 03:34 AM

I had an uncle Doug. A nasty piece of work he was. He should have been well hung - with a good strong rope. Only then you call it hanged, don't you.

Subject: RE: .
From: GUEST,The Barden of England at work
Date: 11 Jul 07 - 03:48 AM

How did Blind Pugh know it was a Black Spot?

Subject: RE: .
From: JennyO
Date: 11 Jul 07 - 04:10 AM

Blind Pugh whugh?

Subject: RE: .
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 11 Jul 07 - 04:25 AM

Should have been called a 'blackhead' shouldn't it?

Subject: RE: .
From: beardedbruce
Date: 11 Jul 07 - 05:38 AM

"I guess if you weighed more than 196 lbs. they didn't hang you."


Another reason NOT to lose weight!

Subject: RE: .
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Jul 07 - 08:41 AM

Since he didn't seem to wash often, was Blind Pugh's pew pew from Blind Pugh's poo?

Subject: RE: .
From: JennyO
Date: 11 Jul 07 - 08:59 AM

Eeeeeeeeuuuuuggghhhhhhh!

Subject: RE: .
From: gnu
Date: 11 Jul 07 - 10:13 AM

Where DO you hide from a blind person with a gun?

Subject: RE: .
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Jul 07 - 11:04 AM

Elsewhere. WAY elsewhere.

Subject: RE: .
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 11 Jul 07 - 11:32 AM

If you have a gun, why would you need to hide from a blind person?

Subject: RE: .
From: John Hardly
Date: 11 Jul 07 - 12:43 PM

wa-HOO!! 400!!

Subject: RE: .
From: John Hardly
Date: 11 Jul 07 - 12:44 PM

...wait...

...I already did this one, didn't I?

Subject: RE: .
From: John Hardly
Date: 11 Jul 07 - 01:04 PM

Did the man who shot Liberty's Valence ever replace it with full-length curtains?

Subject: RE: .
From: John Hardly
Date: 11 Jul 07 - 01:05 PM

Does the Star Of Counting Down work at NASA?

Subject: RE: .
From: Severn
Date: 11 Jul 07 - 06:46 PM

I thought Werner Von Brains was dead. Who's the Co-Star?

Subject: RE: .
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Jul 07 - 06:52 PM

Have you seen Amanda Jane, in the hills of Shiloh?

Subject: RE: .
From: John Hardly
Date: 11 Jul 07 - 07:54 PM

So this guy is out in a boat in the bay (it doesn't matter which bay) and this floating thing comes by with writing all over it. The guy can't read the writing but is very curious as to what the writing says.

Knowing just how to solve this, he hauls the floating thing into the boat and goes to shore. He picks the thing up under his arm and walks up the dock and into town. There he finds what he's looking for. On a little side street is a smalls shop with a sign outside that says:

Read Here -- Bouy

Subject: RE: .
From: cookster
Date: 11 Jul 07 - 08:03 PM

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahaahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha ahahahahahahahaahahahahahahaha hhahaahahahahahahaha That was a good joke.

Subject: RE: .
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Jul 07 - 09:21 PM

        

That night your great guns, unawares,
Shook all our coffins as we lay,
And broke the chancel window-squares,
We thought it was the Judgement-day

And sat upright. While drearisome
Arose the howl of wakened hounds:
The mouse let fall the altar-crumb,
The worm drew back into the mounds,

The glebe cow drooled. Till God cried, "No;
It's gunnery practice out at sea
Just as before you went below;
The world is as it used to be:

"All nations striving strong to make
Red war yet redder. Mad as hatters
They do no more for Christés sake
Than you who are helpless in such matters.

"That this is not the judgment-hour
For some of them's a blessed thing,
For if it were they'd have to scour
Hell's floor for so much threatening. . . .

"Ha, ha. It will be warmer when
I blow the trumpet (if indeed
I ever do; for you are men,
And rest eternal sorely need)."

So down we lay again. "I wonder,
Will the world ever saner be,"
Said one, "than when He sent us under
In our indifferent century!"

And many a skeleton shook his head.
"Instead of preaching forty year,"
My neighbour Parson Thirdly said,
"I wish I had stuck to pipes and beer."

Again the guns disturbed the hour,
Roaring their readiness to avenge,
As far inland as Stourton Tower,
And Camelot, and starlit Stonehenge.

Subject: RE: .
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Jul 07 - 10:02 PM

LITTLE ANDREW
      AIR -- "Gypsy's Warning"

Andrew was a little infant,
      And his life was two years old;
He was his parents' eldest boy,
      And he was drowned, I was told.
His parents never more can see him
      In this world of grief and pain,
And Oh! they will not forget him
      While on earth they do remain.

On one bright and pleasant morning
      His uncle thought it would be nice
To take his dear little nephew
      Down to play upon a raft,
Where he was to work upon it,
      An this little child would company be --
The raft the water rushed around it,
      Yet he the danger did not see.

This little child knew no danger --
      Its little soul was free from sin --
He was looking in the water,
      When, alas, this child fell in.
Beneath the raft the water took him,
      For the current was so strong,
And before they could rescue him
      He was drowned and was gone.

Oh! how sad were his kind parents
      When they saw their drowned child,
As they brought him from the water,
      It almost made their hearts grow wild.
Oh! how mournful was the parting
      From that little infant son.
Friends, I pray you, all take warning,
      Be careful of your little ones.

Subject: RE: .
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 12 Jul 07 - 02:12 PM

Come gather round people wherever you roam,
And admit that this odd thread, around you has grown.
And some of the posts have been quite near the bone,
But some other threads too have been fading.
So you'd better start posting or 'twill sink like a stone,
For the thread it is a changin'

Subject: RE: .
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Jul 07 - 02:23 PM

Is not.

Subject: RE: .
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 12 Jul 07 - 02:27 PM

Is

Subject: RE: .
From: John Hardly
Date: 12 Jul 07 - 02:46 PM

Id

Subject: RE: .
From: gnu
Date: 12 Jul 07 - 03:30 PM

Id ergo ego.

Subject: RE: .
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 12 Jul 07 - 03:59 PM

ROFLOL

Subject: RE: .
From: gnu
Date: 12 Jul 07 - 04:29 PM

There you go.

Subject: RE: .
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Jul 07 - 05:13 PM

Cogito cogito cogito, ergo cogito cogito sum, cogito.

Subject: RE: .
From: Severn
Date: 12 Jul 07 - 08:43 PM

I hate to button to things and I hate things not to button, but a change of thread every once in a while is nesscessary to help hold things both up and together, and for other stuff as well, sew its seams, sew that every needle be taken care of, darn it all!

Subject: RE: .
From: John Hardly
Date: 12 Jul 07 - 09:10 PM

Red Buttons Skates

Subject: RE: .
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Jul 07 - 09:11 PM

So, Severn, sew swell seams since sewing seems suitable.

Subject: RE: .
From: Severn
Date: 12 Jul 07 - 09:31 PM

Hey! I can actually say that real fast 10 times in a row without a mistake!

Subject: RE: .
From: John Hardly
Date: 12 Jul 07 - 10:23 PM

The end is near.

Subject: RE: .
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Jul 07 - 10:26 PM

The end is rear.

Subject: RE: .
From: Severn
Date: 13 Jul 07 - 12:17 AM

Turn the other cheek to it like a True Christian.

What are you doing giving away the end, anyhow?

It would have to be up to Peace to give away the end, which would result in......

Nah, he wouldn't just give it away like that!

Subject: RE: .
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 13 Jul 07 - 02:54 AM

Severn...took me a reel while to cotton on to your post about sewing.

Subject: RE: .
From: Severn
Date: 13 Jul 07 - 03:09 AM

Well, you can get your mind back out of the sewer now.

Subject: RE: .
From: GUEST,Eye Lander
Date: 13 Jul 07 - 06:36 AM

I'll start that diet tomorrow!

Subject: RE: .
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Jul 07 - 11:33 AM

If it's called "The Middle Ages" does that mean they know when the end is? Same question for "Middle Aged."

Subject: RE: .
From: beardedbruce
Date: 13 Jul 07 - 11:36 AM

R.,

WE call it the Middle Ages. THEY called it "NOW"

Subject: RE: .
From: John Hardly
Date: 13 Jul 07 - 01:43 PM

funny how many people in their fifties refer to themselves as
middle aged" until you ask them, "So, you figure you're going to make it past 100?"

Subject: RE: .
From: ced2
Date: 13 Jul 07 - 02:47 PM

*:!!&% "**: !!

Subject: RE: .
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Jul 07 - 03:21 PM

Yes, I quite agree. Good point.

Subject: RE: .
From: gnu
Date: 13 Jul 07 - 03:51 PM

Who's takin up the rear?

Subject: RE: .
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Jul 07 - 04:23 PM

Is it dragging again??

Subject: RE: .
From: Severn
Date: 13 Jul 07 - 05:03 PM

Well, there are no Old Whippersnappers and no Young Fogeys. Maybe true Middle Age
is the nebulous area between Whippersnapperdom and Fogeyhood.

Subject: RE: .
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 13 Jul 07 - 07:27 PM

Surely middle age is the bit between birth and death? ie the bit between no age and no age........

Subject: RE: .
From: gnu
Date: 13 Jul 07 - 07:29 PM

Yup... still taxing though, innit?

Subject: RE: .
From: JennyO
Date: 14 Jul 07 - 05:02 AM

I had a friend who was divorced and had had a number of 'interesting' relationships with men she had met, including one she had been involved with for a couple of years, and who had been helping her renovate her house. He rang one day to say he just had to 'jump in the shower' and then he'd be over - and she never heard from him again.

She decided to write a book based on her assorted bizarre experiences, and was going to call it "Love in the Middle Ages".

I haven't seen her for a while, so I don't know if she ever wrote it.

Subject: RE: .
From: autolycus
Date: 14 Jul 07 - 05:52 AM

Oddly, the end is no nearer.



























   than it was.




       Ivor

Subject: RE: .
From: JennyO
Date: 14 Jul 07 - 06:30 AM

But









































the beginning is







































































further away..........

Subject: RE: .
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 14 Jul 07 - 07:02 AM

IN DEEP

































































































































SPACE!

Subject: RE: .
From: Severn
Date: 14 Jul 07 - 07:18 AM

So, in the name of the Father, Son and Holacaust, I am presently partaking of the same fare as any of those who survived until the Day After The End.....


Fission Chips!

(Look for them in the "Just-Desert"-ed Aisle of your favorite food store)

Sorry, I'll grab my protective suit and hang up the "Gone Fission" sign on the door on the way out and go off and catch some rays.....


(Fried and somewhat battered, they're very good with the chips)

Subject: RE: .
From: autolycus
Date: 14 Jul 07 - 08:01 AM

LOL JennyO and Georgiansilver. Especially JennyO.


And Georgiansilver.





    Ivor


PS. I'm too scared to try - what happens if you start scrolling and don't lift your finger for , oh, I dunnno, agews or ages or even aeons - well perhaps not aeons. This might be 'of value', so I slipped it into a ps so nobody would notice but you.

Subject: RE: .
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 14 Jul 07 - 12:07 PM

autolycus...go on ....I dare you....give it a try!

Subject: RE: .
From: Peace
Date: 14 Jul 07 - 12:10 PM

.












































































































.

Subject: RE: .
From: gnu
Date: 14 Jul 07 - 12:14 PM

What periods are you referring too? Is that the Plastered Era?

Subject: RE: .my post keeps getting deleted
From: GUEST,Guthrie's Guitar
Date: 14 Jul 07 - 12:17 PM

Why does my post keep getting deleted?

I want mudcatters to vote against the BNP in a local derby newspaper poll to stop the bastards holding their nazi camp, and mudcat keeps removing my post.

What is going on?

---

If you want to discuss controversial subjects like the BNP, then we're going to have to know who you are. You're welcome to register as a member with a real name and a real e-mail address (which we will not reveal to the public), and then you can choose a member name like "Guthrie's Guitar" and post with more freedom. But if we don't know who you are, how can we be sure you're not here just to stir up trouble?
-Joe Offer, Forum Moderator-

Subject: RE: .
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 14 Jul 07 - 12:23 PM

If you posted as a guest below the line, then your post will be deleted, you must use constant identity, even as a guest, as you have just done by calling yourself Guthrie's Guitar.
There have been several BNP threads on Mudcat, and they have all ended in acrimony, so that's possibly why your previous posts were deleted.
Also can't see what good signing a petition will do, when did the authorities ever take any notice of petitions?
Giok

Subject: RE: .
From: Jeri
Date: 14 Jul 07 - 12:42 PM

Guest, you're right - wrong place. If a local newspaper wants input from local people, a load of opinions from folks from all over the globe who heard about it on a USA based website and want to butt in aren't going to actually make the poll less effective. In fact, outsourcing the voting will likely make the opposition look weak and desperate.

I think the posts were likely deleted because of what Giok said. A thread about the BNP is an instant flame war.

Subject: RE: .
From: Severn
Date: 14 Jul 07 - 12:45 PM

Now back to our regularly scheduled programme.........

Subject: RE: .
From: Peace
Date: 14 Jul 07 - 01:04 PM

Not before I say I hope those Nazi (BNP) bastards choke on their own vomit.

Subject: RE: .
From: Severn
Date: 14 Jul 07 - 01:43 PM

Amen! That's an entirely different type of meaninglessness then we were after....

Subject: RE: .
From: Peace
Date: 14 Jul 07 - 01:47 PM

True meaninlessness is

Subject: RE: .
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 14 Jul 07 - 02:11 PM

meaningless?

Subject: RE: .
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Jul 07 - 02:16 PM

We had meaninglessness when I was growing up, but we had to sell that too.

Subject: RE: .
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 14 Jul 07 - 02:49 PM

to icrease your means?

Subject: RE: .
From: Peace
Date: 14 Jul 07 - 02:58 PM

True meaninglessness is, uh,

Subject: RE: .
From: gnu
Date: 14 Jul 07 - 03:32 PM

You are wise beyond the piers.

Subject: RE: .
From: cookster
Date: 14 Jul 07 - 03:48 PM

Hello

everyone

how are ya?

Subject: RE: .
From: gnu
Date: 14 Jul 07 - 03:59 PM

Well... if the looooooong and almost blank posts keep up, I expect a clone will oblige Peace's request that this thread be closed. If you are not gonna say nothin, at least be succinct and not get to the point, eh? Awful waste of cyberspace.

Subject: RE: .
From: Stephen L. Rich
Date: 14 Jul 07 - 04:47 PM

nothing, nothing, nothing. Was that succinct enough?

Stephen Lee

Subject: RE: .
From: Peace
Date: 14 Jul 07 - 04:54 PM

No.

Subject: RE: .
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Jul 07 - 05:44 PM

My castle is my...ah...my waddayacallit...my home. Yeah, that's it.

Subject: RE: .
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 14 Jul 07 - 05:44 PM

Yes I had a pretty good day thanks, and yourself?

Subject: RE: .
From: Emma B
Date: 14 Jul 07 - 05:53 PM

Rapaire, mi casa es tu casa.

Subject: RE: .
From: Bill D
Date: 14 Jul 07 - 06:23 PM

You do, and you'll clean it up!

Subject: RE: .
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Jul 07 - 09:48 PM

Y me tambien, Emma. And the bills that go with it, too.

Subject: RE: .
From: Bill D
Date: 14 Jul 07 - 09:54 PM

Charismatic Hottentots vociferously delineate fraudulently ambiguous recapitulations.

Subject: RE: .
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 15 Jul 07 - 04:24 AM

Inebriated with the exuberance of your own verbosity?

Subject: RE: .
From: autolycus
Date: 15 Jul 07 - 04:26 AM

A likely story .

We're a meaning-making animal.




Whatever that means.





       Ivor

Subject: RE: .
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 15 Jul 07 - 04:27 AM

I'm not!!


LTS

Subject: RE: .
From: autolycus
Date: 15 Jul 07 - 07:03 AM

Meaning....?




      Ivor

Subject: RE: .
From: Severn
Date: 15 Jul 07 - 07:09 AM

The weighings define the meanings now?

Eeny meaning, minus mo'.....

Ain't freedom of choice grand?

Subject: RE: .
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 15 Jul 07 - 07:45 AM

The means to a meaningful meaning I reckon.

Subject: RE: .
From: Severn
Date: 15 Jul 07 - 09:05 AM

Except that folkies and singers, songwriters, other writers and poets and the like such as hang around here always like to constantly hide meanings, sometimes where NOBODY can find them, in their own perverse manner.

The ones that are either VERY good or VERY bad can sometimes hide several of them per verse, the meaners occaisionally acting in a maener spirit. And there aren't enough mean-ees left anymore sometimes to form a strong union--a bad thing in a Republican administration.

But, as usual, I digress......

Subject: RE: .
From: Severn
Date: 15 Jul 07 - 09:29 AM

Damn! I actually GOT post 400 and didn't even realize it. If it had meant anything to me, I should have saved it for someone to whom it was important, who could have posted and still written it off as a meaningless act and therefore felt self justification. Infact, whoever made the meaningless claim on #400 can go ahead and claim it if it really means that much to you. But these are not The Days Of '49 and the only claim jumpers that ever get dealt with in the old fashioned manner in here steal copyrights, so I will leave this post in the Public Domain and any prospective prospector who wants to can tie their horse or mule to it.

If there's more than one claimant, than the two of you can find a way to take your pick or your shovel and take your pick (or else your shovel, take your pick....or else take.....Aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh, YOU guys figure it out, maybe at ten paces).

And be careful! Those things are sharp and can cause some damaage! Do you realize what a pick will do to, say, a nose or your teeth when shovel come to push?

Subject: RE: .
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 15 Jul 07 - 10:57 AM

I'm not a meaningful thingywossname....

I'm a Virgo. And a Dragon.

LTS

Subject: RE: .
From: Peace
Date: 15 Jul 07 - 11:01 AM

In truth, Severn, the 400th post is quite, uh, je ne sais pas quois. However, I do suppose congratulations are in order. So please allow me to say

Happy Birthday to you,
Happy Birthday to you,
Happy Birthday dear Severnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn,
Happy Birthday to you.

Subject: RE: .
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 15 Jul 07 - 12:47 PM

Neither of us will ever admit to being schizophrenic!!!!

Subject: RE: .
From: Severn
Date: 15 Jul 07 - 12:51 PM

But yet, some times you WILL admit to being your Own Best Friend.

Subject: RE: .
From: Peace
Date: 15 Jul 07 - 12:53 PM

All four of you guys are something else . . . .

Subject: RE: .
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 15 Jul 07 - 12:54 PM

Certainly I am sometimes the best person I could possibly talk with.

Subject: RE: .
From: Severn
Date: 15 Jul 07 - 12:57 PM

Which one of us four gets relegated to being Shemp?

Subject: RE: .
From: cookster
Date: 15 Jul 07 - 01:01 PM

So am I.

Subject: RE: .
From: Severn
Date: 15 Jul 07 - 01:03 PM

....if you'd ONLY listen!

Subject: RE: .
From: cookster
Date: 15 Jul 07 - 01:04 PM

Are you talkin' ta me??

Subject: RE: .
From: Severn
Date: 15 Jul 07 - 01:15 PM

I wouldn't DARE interrupt the two of you, cookster!

Subject: RE: .
From: cookster
Date: 15 Jul 07 - 01:17 PM

I was just kidding.

Subject: RE: .
From: Peace
Date: 15 Jul 07 - 01:18 PM

Ya know, I really dislike those dips that combine cream cheese, sour cream and mayonnaise. I just thought I'd mention that. For no particular reason. On this thread. I DO like onion soup mix with sour cream--BUT, no cream cheese or mayonnaise.

Subject: RE: .
From: Severn
Date: 15 Jul 07 - 01:19 PM

Which one of you said that, cookster?

Subject: RE: .
From: cookster
Date: 15 Jul 07 - 01:20 PM

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Subject: RE: .
From: cookster
Date: 15 Jul 07 - 01:21 PM

Which one of who? I'm one person.

Subject: RE: .
From: Severn
Date: 15 Jul 07 - 01:22 PM

Then I guess they'll never have to send you to the Mayo Clinic, Peace, even if you should take a dip in health......

Subject: RE: .
From: Peace
Date: 15 Jul 07 - 01:24 PM

The Mayo Clinic? I can't believe you SAID that!

Subject: RE: .
From: cookster
Date: 15 Jul 07 - 01:24 PM

I guess so......

Subject: RE: .
From: cookster
Date: 15 Jul 07 - 01:25 PM

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

Subject: RE: .
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 15 Jul 07 - 01:26 PM

Both of me are enjoying this thread. Gives us something to talk about when we are on our own.

Subject: RE: .
From: Severn
Date: 15 Jul 07 - 01:26 PM

Scroll up and see that by saying "Mee too!" it put you in the same boat as Georgiansilver.

Ahoy Mates! You've a full crew of four between the two of you!

Subject: RE: .
From: cookster
Date: 15 Jul 07 - 01:29 PM

Arrrrgh make that the six of you.

Subject: RE: .
From: Peace
Date: 15 Jul 07 - 01:33 PM

You've a full crew of four between the two of you!
And but one single oar with which to row.
A few missing screws, and a rudder that's loose,
But the crew seems complete, that is true.

Subject: RE: .
From: Severn
Date: 15 Jul 07 - 01:34 PM

"To welcome in the Summer day
To welcome in the MAY-Y-Y-Y Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Summer is icumen in
And Winter's gone away-O...."

Subject: RE: .
From: Severn
Date: 15 Jul 07 - 01:36 PM

We gan give them another one, making it an Either-Oar situation.....

Subject: RE: .
From: cookster
Date: 15 Jul 07 - 01:37 PM

Yeah what he said.

Subject: RE: .
From: cookster
Date: 15 Jul 07 - 01:41 PM

Oar maybe not.

Subject: RE: .
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 15 Jul 07 - 01:41 PM

I've got half a mind to join that schizophrenics club.
G.

Subject: RE: .
From: cookster
Date: 15 Jul 07 - 01:42 PM

Vass iss dass???

Subject: RE: .
From: Severn
Date: 15 Jul 07 - 01:43 PM

We'll club you hard enough to lose the other half, Giok!

Subject: RE: .
From: cookster
Date: 15 Jul 07 - 01:45 PM

He will do it!!!

Subject: RE: .
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Jul 07 - 01:47 PM

I am the surlaw.

Subject: RE: .
From: Severn
Date: 15 Jul 07 - 01:49 PM

Oog-Oog-ag-booj!

Subject: RE: .
From: cookster
Date: 15 Jul 07 - 01:50 PM

What is that??

Subject: RE: .
From: Severn
Date: 15 Jul 07 - 01:53 PM

His sur-name is sur-law as sure as his Mudname is already a household word! Even id nobody's knighted him, or even dubbed him in....

Subject: RE: .
From: gnu
Date: 15 Jul 07 - 01:53 PM

I thought we were talking about coleslaw.

Subject: RE: .
From: Severn
Date: 15 Jul 07 - 01:55 PM

Cole's works better than Murphy's, but not as well as Newton's, so go figger!

Subject: RE: .
From: cookster
Date: 15 Jul 07 - 01:58 PM

Long ago in a galaxy far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far fra far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far
away.....

Subject: RE: .
From: Severn
Date: 15 Jul 07 - 02:01 PM

I doubt if ewoks that far on a good day!

Subject: RE: .
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 15 Jul 07 - 02:01 PM

The problem with joining the schizophrenics club is having to pay twice as much to join. Besides there are too many members....LOL

Subject: RE: .
From: cookster
Date: 15 Jul 07 - 02:02 PM

I don't think they go anywhere on a good day!!

Subject: RE: .
From: cookster
Date: 15 Jul 07 - 02:05 PM

OK then what ever you say.

Subject: RE: .
From: Severn
Date: 15 Jul 07 - 02:17 PM

(Cue in The Country Gentlemen)


See Ewoks through the corn leading down to the river
Their fur shone like gold in the hor morning sun.
She took all the love that those poor cubs could give her
And left them to die, like Ewoks on the run.
Like Ewoks
(Like Ewoks)
(Like Ewoks)
(Like E wo-o--o-oks)
...on the run!


By the way, The Country Gentlemen celebrated their 50th Anniversay as a performing unit at a fest down at Watermelon Park in Berryville Va. this weekend with most of the living members, a list to probably exceed that of even Fairport, in attendance and playing in various configurations.

Excuse the meaningful, but I thought I'd congradulate long-time DC local heroes.

Subject: RE: .
From: autolycus
Date: 15 Jul 07 - 02:52 PM

I nquote:

I talk to myself. i used to talk to other people but I found out that half the time , they're not listening anyway, so why should I knock myself out. I cut out the middle man and I talk straight to myself.

I don't interrupt, I listen to what i got to say, if I don't like the subject, i don't   bring it up.   

if I got something stupid to say, i tell it to someone else. let them listen. The good things I keep for myself.


End quote.



And Virgos have trouble with meaning 'cos they keep getting lost in the details - the meaning is in the wood compltet (or even ..........................

sorry - thread drift.

anyway as I wasn't saying - er -er -er - if it was far far far away then it follows that............

And we do have to take riskes because the blancmange falling from...........................

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, the football served tarman until...............

Has anyone seen my ................................? No?

Working-cass tories terrorise wings off the side of the fr......................

The French , on the other, almost always never unless until...............

A sandwich calls. I have some damned bright sandwiches living here.

Hallo/         Hallo?      Anyone t....   Thought so not.





    ZIvorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Subject: RE: .
From: cookster
Date: 15 Jul 07 - 03:13 PM

Yeah Ok then........

Subject: RE: .
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 15 Jul 07 - 04:32 PM

A roll on the drums, and a sandwich on the piano.
G

Subject: RE: .
From: Peace
Date: 15 Jul 07 - 04:34 PM

. . . and tulips on the organ.

Subject: RE: .
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 15 Jul 07 - 04:38 PM

Petals on a bicycle?

Subject: RE: .
From: Severn
Date: 15 Jul 07 - 04:49 PM

Impatiens in the waiting room?

Subject: RE: .
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 15 Jul 07 - 05:05 PM

Shhhh don't mention Busy Lizzie

Subject: RE: .
From: gnu
Date: 15 Jul 07 - 05:58 PM

What about Juicy Lucy and her trained gila monster?

Subject: RE: .
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Jul 07 - 06:10 PM

At the zoo
The great big zoo
What a sight to see the little monkeys.

Subject: RE: .
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 15 Jul 07 - 06:15 PM

Lobsters on your piano..........well that's better than crabs on your organ isn't it?

Subject: RE: .
From: cookster
Date: 15 Jul 07 - 06:50 PM

No crawfish on your celesta is better.

Subject: RE: .
From: Severn
Date: 15 Jul 07 - 07:01 PM

As long as they remain somewhat crus-stationary.

No shrimp on either your Barbie (or Ken dolls, either) though.

Anything beyond your Ken is acceptable, I guess.

Subject: RE: .
From: cookster
Date: 15 Jul 07 - 07:39 PM

What you said.

Subject: RE: .
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Jul 07 - 08:22 PM

Ken would fit in well with Bugs and Elmer.

Subject: RE: .
From: cookster
Date: 15 Jul 07 - 08:33 PM

What does that mean???

Subject: RE: .
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Jul 07 - 09:03 PM

所有在連接。□什麼單獨站立。

Subject: RE: .
From: Peace
Date: 15 Jul 07 - 09:06 PM

ÄúÄÜÔÙ˵ÄÇ¡£

Subject: RE: .
From: Bill D
Date: 15 Jul 07 - 09:07 PM

麼單獨有在

«ô¿ô»

Subject: RE: .
From: cookster
Date: 15 Jul 07 - 09:21 PM

07734 look at it upside down.

Subject: RE: .
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Jul 07 - 09:26 PM

411 y0r 60><3r5 r 6310n9 2 u5, d00d.

Subject: RE: .
From: Bill D
Date: 15 Jul 07 - 09:32 PM

→ ╠╦╦╦╗®

Subject: RE: .
From: Severn
Date: 15 Jul 07 - 09:57 PM

So which of you guys wants to do the crossword when I'm through with the comica section?

Subject: RE: .
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Jul 07 - 10:01 PM

1f u a1n7 l337 u a1n7 5h17.

Subject: RE: .
From: balladeer
Date: 15 Jul 07 - 11:33 PM

Edelweiss
you greet
you meet
you look happy
too

Subject: RE: .
From: cookster
Date: 15 Jul 07 - 11:57 PM

Havada cadabra!!!!

Subject: RE: .
From: Stephen L. Rich
Date: 16 Jul 07 - 12:55 AM

If a giant makes a mistake would it be fair to call that a "Fee, Fie, Faux Pas"?

Stephen Lee

Subject: RE: .
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 16 Jul 07 - 02:55 AM

No Just a gargantuan error.

Subject: RE: .
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 16 Jul 07 - 03:54 AM

Have a cadaver

Subject: RE: .
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 16 Jul 07 - 04:36 AM

Don't mind if I do, thanks!






















Burp.

LTS

Subject: RE: .
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 16 Jul 07 - 04:58 AM

No thanks - I'm trying to give them up!

Subject: RE: .
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 16 Jul 07 - 07:26 AM

That joke corpsed didn't it!

Subject: RE: .
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Jul 07 - 09:07 AM

I'd tell you some of the jokes of the tombstone-making and gravedigging trades, but you'd think I was a REAL sicko. Instead, I offer this touching poem:

The Ballad of Blasphemous Bill
Robert W. Service

I took a contract to bury the body
Of blasphemous Bill MacKie,
Whenever, wherever or whatsoever
The manner of death he die --
Whether he die in the light o' day
Or under the peak-faced moon;
In cabin or dance-hall, camp or dive,
Mucklucks or patent shoon;
On velvet tundra or virgin peak,
By glacier, drift or draw;
In muskeg hollow or canyon gloom,
By avalanche, fang or claw;
By battle, murder or sudden wealth,
By pestilence, hooch or lead --
I swore on the Book I would follow and look
Till I found my tombless dead.

For Bill was a dainty kind of cuss,
And his mind was mighty sot
On a dinky patch with flowers and grass
In a civilized bone-yard lot.
And where he died or how he died,
It didn't matter a damn
So long as he had a grave with frills
And a tombstone "epigram".
So I promised him, and he paid the price
In good cheechako coin
(Which the same I blowed in that very night
Down in the Tenderloin).
Then I painted a three-foot slab of pine:
"Here lies poor Bill MacKie",
And I hung it up on my cabin wall
And I waited for Bill to die.

Years passed away, and at last one day
Came a squaw with a story strange,
Of a long-deserted line of traps
'Way back of the Bighorn range;
Of a little hut by the great divide,
And a white man stiff and still,
Lying there by his lonesome self,
And I figured it must be Bill.
So I thought of the contract I'd made with him,
And I took down from the shelf
The swell black box with the silver plate
He'd picked out for hisself;
And I packed it full of grub and "hooch",
And I slung it on the sleigh;
Then I harnessed up my team of dogs
And was off at dawn of day.

You know what it's like in the Yukon wild
When it's sixty-nine below;
When the ice-worms wriggle their purple heads
Through the crust of the pale blue snow;
When the pine-trees crack like little guns
In the silence of the wood,
And the icicles hang down like tusks
Under the parka hood;
When the stove-pipe smoke breaks sudden off,
And the sky is weirdly lit,
And the careless feel of a bit of steel
Burns like a red-hot spit;
When the mercury is a frozen ball,
And the frost-fiend stalks to kill --
Well, it was just like that that day when I
Set out to look for Bill.

Oh, the awful hush that seemed to crush
Me down on every hand,
As I blundered blind with a trail to find
Through that blank and bitter land;
Half dazed, half crazed in the winter wild,
With its grim heart-breaking woes,
And the ruthless strife for a grip on life
That only the sourdough knows!
North by the compass, North I pressed;
River and peak and plain
Passed like a dream I slept to lose
And I waked to dream again.

River and plain and mighty peak --
And who could stand unawed?
As their summits blazed, he could stand undazed
At the foot of the throne of God.
North, aye, North, through a land accurst,
Shunned by the scouring brutes,
And all I heard was my own harsh word
And the whine of the malamutes,
Till at last I came to a cabin squat,
Built in the side of a hill,
And I burst in the door, and there on the floor,
Frozen to death, lay Bill.

Ice, white ice, like a winding-sheet,
Sheathing each smoke-grimed wall;
Ice on the stove-pipe, ice on the bed,
Ice gleaming over all;
Sparkling ice on the dead man's chest,
Glittering ice in his hair,
Ice on his fingers, ice in his heart,
Ice in his glassy stare;
Hard as a log and trussed like a frog,
With his arms and legs outspread.
I gazed at the coffin I'd brought for him,
And I gazed at the gruesome dead,
And at last I spoke: "Bill liked his joke;
But still, goldarn his eyes,
A man had ought to consider his mates
In the way he goes and dies."

Have you ever stood in an Arctic hut
In the shadow of the Pole,
With a little coffin six by three
And a grief you can't control?
Have you ever sat by a frozen corpse
That looks at you with a grin,
And that seems to say: "You may try all day,
But you'll never jam me in"?
I'm not a man of the quitting kind,
But I never felt so blue
As I sat there gazing at that stiff
And studying what I'd do.
Then I rose and I kicked off the husky dogs
That were nosing round about,
And I lit a roaring fire in the stove,
And I started to thaw Bill out.

Well, I thawed and thawed for thirteen days,
But it didn't seem no good;
His arms and legs stuck out like pegs,
As if they was made of wood.
Till at last I said: "It ain't no use --
He's froze too hard to thaw;
He's obstinate, and he won't lie straight,
So I guess I got to -- saw."
So I sawed off poor Bill's arms and legs,
And I laid him snug and straight
In the little coffin he picked hisself,
With the dinky silver plate;
And I came nigh near to shedding a tear
As I nailed him safely down;
Then I stowed him away in my Yukon sleigh,
And I started back to town.

So I buried him as the contract was
In a narrow grave and deep,
And there he's waiting the Great Clean-up,
When the Judgment sluice-heads sweep;
And I smoke my pipe and I meditate
In the light of the Midnight Sun,
And sometimes I wonder if they was,
The awful things I done.
And as I sit and the parson talks,
Expounding of the Law,
I often think of poor old Bill --
And how hard he was to saw.

Subject: RE: .
From: beardedbruce
Date: 16 Jul 07 - 09:12 AM

NOW I know what they mean by a Service contract!

Subject: RE: .
From: cookster
Date: 16 Jul 07 - 10:52 AM

What they said!!!

Subject: RE: .
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 16 Jul 07 - 11:04 AM

Considering this thread is suposed to be about nothing...I reckon it is really something!

Subject: RE: .
From: Peace
Date: 16 Jul 07 - 11:12 AM

Ever notice how the strange threads draw the strange people to them? Not that that's in reference to anyone her.

Subject: RE: .
From: John Hardly
Date: 16 Jul 07 - 11:17 AM

"Not that that's in reference to anyone her."

sexist pig.

Subject: RE: .
From: Peace
Date: 16 Jul 07 - 11:18 AM

LOLOLOL

Subject: RE: .
From: cookster
Date: 16 Jul 07 - 11:22 AM

OLOLOLO

Subject: RE: .
From: GUEST,Loooooooooooooong John Sliver
Date: 16 Jul 07 - 11:57 AM

Wahl, timber me shivers, if it ain't a motley crew! Avast and aroint, all hands aloft! Not since the Giant Squid took me leg off have I seem a more worthless set of landlubberly scupperswabbers! Batten the hatches, quick there! She's blowing a gale from leeward!

More rum all around!

Subject: RE: .
From: beardedbruce
Date: 16 Jul 07 - 11:59 AM

A Loooooooooooooong Sliver?





Ouch!

Subject: RE: .
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 16 Jul 07 - 12:17 PM

Do you really wear long johns?

Subject: RE: .
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 16 Jul 07 - 12:20 PM

Long John Saliva more like.
G.

Subject: RE: .
From: John Hardly
Date: 16 Jul 07 - 12:23 PM

With multiple threads about triskaidekaphobia, many are still unaware of criscodeckaphobia. It's the fear that the cook will spill grease on deck and make it slippery. Like that line from "The Wreck Of The Edmund Fitgerald...

When supper time came the old cook came on deck
Saying fellows it's too rough to feed ya
At 7PM a main hatchway caved in
From the weight of many sailors on high-fat diets.

(that was Lightfoot's first draft. That was before Gordon Lightfoot renamed himself "Gordon Lightfood" and started campaigning throughout Canada for better dietary practices.)

Subject: RE: .
From: John Hardly
Date: 16 Jul 07 - 12:25 PM

I suppose I should have posted that in the "Things You've learned on the mudcat" thread. Well, then again, maybe you guys will do so now that I told you.

Subject: RE: .
From: beardedbruce
Date: 16 Jul 07 - 12:26 PM

Is this the SAME sliver that posted

thread.cfm?threadid=61140#981413


Back in '03? It sounds like it.

Subject: RE: .
From: Stephen L. Rich
Date: 16 Jul 07 - 01:30 PM

"sounds like it" Are we playing Charades now?

Stephen Lee

Subject: RE: .
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Jul 07 - 01:33 PM

Probably. From what I remember he/she/it is a ghost.

Subject: RE: .
From: cookster
Date: 16 Jul 07 - 01:52 PM

Depemds on who you're talking about.

Subject: RE: .
From: beardedbruce
Date: 16 Jul 07 - 01:54 PM

Why, GUEST,Loooooooooooooong John Sliver of course! Every 4 years he appears for a few days, then vanishes.

Subject: RE: .
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Jul 07 - 01:56 PM

I think LJS has been around more than every four years. I think the number of "o"s in the name varies with the amount of rum taken on board.

Subject: RE: .
From: cookster
Date: 16 Jul 07 - 02:00 PM

499

Subject: RE: .
From: cookster
Date: 16 Jul 07 - 02:01 PM

500

Subject: RE: .
From: gnu
Date: 16 Jul 07 - 02:15 PM

Wood's that be Navy?

Subject: RE: .
From: autolycus
Date: 16 Jul 07 - 02:16 PM

501 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Yi......

    oh, hang, ahem -

    Anyway, this isn't wierd or wired or anything innit?

    It's ubconscious-speak time or even unconscious-speak.

    I reckon the conscious is given too much space.





      Ivor

Subject: RE: .
From: autolycus
Date: 16 Jul 07 - 02:18 PM

Sorry, that should have read 502 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yi etc.

That's what happens when the uncon............. oh, bugger - thread-drift, getting valuable.


Wotcha mweand, this is rubbish.




Well, at least it's BRITISH rubbish.





       Ivor

Subject: RE: .
From: gnu
Date: 16 Jul 07 - 02:45 PM

I never bother with that stuff, but, the fact of the matter is that cookster neglected to read the rules. You cannot "bump" yourself into a milestone post.

Cookster... it's yours, technically, but, really, if you subvert the rules, it's rather shallow, innit? I suggest you award autolycus with an honourary 500 and strive to play a more fair game. It will be so much more rewarding upon true victory.

Remember, it's not whether you win or lose, it's how good you look while playing the game.

Subject: RE: .
From: cookster
Date: 16 Jul 07 - 02:48 PM

I'm sorry I didn't know.

Subject: RE: .
From: gnu
Date: 16 Jul 07 - 03:17 PM

Well, of course you didn't. I just made it up. But, it's a good rule, eh?

Subject: RE: .
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Jul 07 - 03:22 PM

As my good ol' buddy Gus once said, "Ego iam errorem puto, quam antea veritatem putabam: utrum recte existimem, a te praesente audire cupio. In. primis summum errorem puto, omnipotentem Deum, in quo una nobis spes est, ex aliqua parte violabilem, aut coinquinabilem, aut corruptibilem credere. Hoc vestram haeresim affirmare scio; non quidem verbis. quibus nunc usus sum: nam et vos interrogati confitemini Deum esse incorruptibilem et omnino. inviolabilem et incoinquinabilem; sed cum coeperitis caetera exponere, cogimini eum corruptibilem, penetrabilem, et coinquinabilem profiteri. Dicitis enim aliam nescio quam gentem tenebrarum adversus Dei regnum rebellasse: Deum autem omnipotentem, cum videret quanta labes et vastitas immineret regnis suis, nisi aliquid adversae genti opponeret, et ei resisteret, misisse hanc virtutem, de cuius commixtione cum malo et tenebrarum gente mundus sit fabricatus. Hinc esse quod hic animae bonae laborant, serviunt, errant, corrumpuntur: ut necessarium haberent liberatorem, qui eas ab errore purgaret, et a commixtione solveret, et a servitute liberaret. Hoc ego nefas puto credere, Deum omnipotentem aliquam adversam gentem timuisse, aut necessitatem esse passum, ut nos in aerumnas praecipitaret."

Ain't it the truth, though? Ain't it the bloody truth!

Subject: RE: .
From: cookster
Date: 16 Jul 07 - 03:23 PM

WHAT DOES THAT MEAN???

Subject: RE: .
From: beardedbruce
Date: 16 Jul 07 - 03:31 PM

for the full text:

Subject: RE: .
From: cookster
Date: 16 Jul 07 - 03:33 PM

In English please.

Subject: RE: .
From: autolycus
Date: 16 Jul 07 - 04:40 PM

It means you haven't got the Latin, Jeem?






       Ivor

Subject: RE: .
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Jul 07 - 04:47 PM

Omnia Latinum dice, cogito!

Subject: RE: .
From: cookster
Date: 16 Jul 07 - 05:20 PM

AYE CARUMBA!!!

Subject: RE: .
From: Peace
Date: 16 Jul 07 - 05:23 PM

LA CUCARACHA

1 Cuando uno quiere a una
Y esta una no lo quiere,
Es lo mismo que si un calvo
En la calle encuentr' un peine.

Chorus:
La cucaracha, la cucaracha,
Ya no quieres caminar,
Porque no tienes,
Porque le falta,
Marihuana que fumar.

2 Las muchachas son de oro;
Las casadas son de plata;
Las viudas son de cobre,
Y las viejas oja de lata.

3 Mi vecina de enfrente
Se llamaba Doña Clara,
Y si no había muerto
Es probable se llamara.

4 Las muchachas de Las Vegas
Son muy altas y delgaditas,
Pero son mas pedigueñas
Que las animas benditas.

5 Las muchachas de la villa
No saben ni dar un beso,
Cuando las de Albuquerque
Hasta estiran el pescuezo.

6 Las muchachas Mexicanas
Son lindas como una flor,
Y hablan tan dulcemente
Que encantan de amor.

7 Una cosa me da risa --
Pancho Villa sin camisa.
Ya se van los Carranzistas
Porque vienen los Villistas.

8 Necesita automóvil
Par' hacer la caminata
Al lugar a donde mandó
La convención Zapata.

Subject: RE: .
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 16 Jul 07 - 05:47 PM

O Caritas O Caritas, nobis semper sit amor.
Nos perituri, mortem salutamus
Sola resurgit vita.









Bit of Cat Stevens for ya!

Subject: RE: .
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Jul 07 - 06:12 PM

Mah fav-o-rite song!

Dies irae
dies illa
Solvet saeclum in favilla:
Teste David cum Sybilla.
Quantus tremor est futurus
Quando judex est venturus
Cuncta stricte discussurus!
Dies irae
dies illa
Solvet saeclum in favilla:
Teste David cum Sybilla
Quantus tremor est futurus
Quatdo judex est venturus
Cuncta stricte discussurus!
Quantus tremor est futurus
Dies irae, dies illa
Quantus tremor est futurus
Dies irae, dies illa
Quantus tremor est futurus
Quantus tremor est futurus
Quando judex est venturus
Cuncta stricte discussurus
Cuncta stricte
Cuncta stricte
Stricte discussurus
Cuncta stricte
Cuncta stricte
Stricte discussurus!

Subject: RE: .
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 16 Jul 07 - 06:28 PM

Nil Carborundum illegitimi

Subject: RE: .
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Jul 07 - 06:35 PM

Fumus, draco magus
Incoluit mare.
Lusit autumnal'illic
Maritimo Hanalo.

Parvus Marcus Iulus
Lasciv'amavit.
Marcus dedit olivas
Et alia dona.

Chorus: (bis)
Ha, Fumus, draco magus
Incoluit mare.
Lusit autumnal'illic
Maritimo Hanalo.

Vexerunt coniunctim
Scapha magica;
Stetit cauda Fumi
Et illic vigilavit.

Reges, duces, patres
Coluerunt eis.
Piratae se tradiderunt
Mugente Fumo sic:

Chorus:

Draco nunquam mutat,
Sed puer fiat vir.
Ludi liberum brevi
Substituent rebus.

Gravi noct'accidit.
Marcus Iulus abiit.
Fumus, draco magnus,
Destitit mugitum.

Tum lacrimavit draco,
Et posuit squamas.
Nunquam rursum hic luderet
Cum amico Marco.

Sine socio,
Non sensit se fortem.
Fumus, draco magnus,
Ad speluncam repsit.

Chorus

Subject: RE: .
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Jul 07 - 09:40 PM

Yeah, me 'n' ol' Buffalo Bill (we called him "Buffy") were good friends out here in the mountains. 'Course, I knew him when he was growin' up back in Illinois, in Monmouth, him and the Earp brothers. They was always gettin' into trouble. After Buffy got out on the plains he nailed several vampires, which is how he got the name Buffy the Vampire Nailer. Yah see, his last name was Bill and his first name was Buffalo 'cuz he wuz named after the city in New York. His daddy was named Wild, Wild Bill.

An' I wouldn't lie none about any of that. Specially about the Earp boys. They wuz pure trouble: Burp, Urp, Purp, and Wyatt. He was the youngest. Never could shoot worth anything, so 'most every day he'd lose fiver er ten dollars to Buffy. Buffy couldn't shoot either, but he could do it better'n Wyatt. We'd put 'em inside a barn and bet who which one could hit it inside of a hunert shots.

Subject: RE: .
From: cookster
Date: 16 Jul 07 - 09:58 PM

How old are you??

Subject: RE: .
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Jul 07 - 10:09 PM

Yeah, me 'n' ol' Buffy and his daddy, Wild, we'd play acey-deucey on the steamboats. Long about the time we'd get clear of Westport we'da cleaned all the greenhorns of their cash and then we'd play some serious cards. Never will forgit the time that a tinhorn gambler pulled a Walker Colt on Buffy. Scared the poor boy half ta death, that Colt did. Dang near trampled him, too. Never did figger out how that cheap gambler managed to sneak one of Tom Walker's Colts onto the boat. Buffy and the Colt both busted outa different sides of the cabin they wuz so scared.

Subject: RE: .
From: cookster
Date: 16 Jul 07 - 10:55 PM

Yeah whatever.

Subject: RE: .
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Jul 07 - 11:00 PM

QED.

Subject: RE: .
From: Bill D
Date: 16 Jul 07 - 11:04 PM

Prope mare erat tubulator
Qui virginem ingrediebatur.
Dessine ingressus
Audivi progressus :
Est mihi inquit tubulator.

Subject: RE: .
From: Bill D
Date: 16 Jul 07 - 11:06 PM

Visas erat : huic geminarum
Dispar modus testicularum :
Minor haec nihili,
Palma triplici,
Jam facerat altera clarum

Thank you, G. Legman

Subject: RE: .
From: Stephen L. Rich
Date: 17 Jul 07 - 01:41 AM

That's easy for you to say.

Stephen Lee

Subject: RE: .
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 17 Jul 07 - 02:46 AM

According to some sites I am told...there is nothing like a bit of Latin.

Subject: RE: .
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Jul 07 - 09:06 AM

I myself speak and write only Etruscan and Linear A.

Subject: RE: .
From: John Hardly
Date: 17 Jul 07 - 09:25 AM

Tried to line my ear once. It only muffled sounds. Never made them go away. Maybe I was using Linear B?

Subject: RE: .
From: gnu
Date: 17 Jul 07 - 09:37 AM

Or Meniere D?

Subject: RE: .
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Jul 07 - 02:09 PM

Wouldn't that be ominous and foreboding?

Subject: RE: .
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 17 Jul 07 - 05:29 PM

Awesomely scary

Subject: RE: .
From: Severn
Date: 17 Jul 07 - 05:35 PM

Is "I told you so!" an example of Post-Boding?

The Titanic, an example of ominous Poor-Boating?

Subject: RE: .
From: cookster
Date: 17 Jul 07 - 05:47 PM

No the titanic is an example of poor icing.

Subject: RE: .
From: Severn
Date: 17 Jul 07 - 06:10 PM

Of thee, icing?

Maybe the Exxon Valdiz, then? Even they could not get Exxonerated.

Post-Boding is mere hindsight, and "Hindsight is Golden!", as Sir Francis Drake's lookout might tell you.

Or else it might mean one has their head up their....Oh never mind!

Subject: RE: .
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 17 Jul 07 - 06:18 PM

The Titanic ones always go down well don't they?

Subject: RE: .
From: TheSnail
Date: 17 Jul 07 - 07:11 PM

Have you got any news of the iceberg?

Subject: RE: .
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 17 Jul 07 - 07:20 PM

Charlibus sittibus on a deskinorum.
Deskibus collapsimus, Charlie on the floorum.

LTS

Subject: RE: .
From: cookster
Date: 17 Jul 07 - 09:26 PM

Eezy squeezy lemon peezy.

Subject: RE: .
From: Peace
Date: 17 Jul 07 - 09:31 PM

Beautiful shot.

Subject: RE: .
From: cookster
Date: 17 Jul 07 - 09:34 PM

Yeah really good shot.

Subject: RE: .
From: Stephen L. Rich
Date: 17 Jul 07 - 11:54 PM

You're not going to shoot it, are you? What has it done to you?


Stephen Lee

Subject: RE: .
From: Peace
Date: 18 Jul 07 - 12:18 AM

Need ice for the martinis, Stephen Lee.

Subject: RE: .
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 18 Jul 07 - 02:46 AM

Anytime, anyplace, anywhere of course!
Anyway what had the Titanic done to the iceberg to deserve being treated like that?

Subject: RE: .
From: cookster
Date: 18 Jul 07 - 09:26 AM

The Titanic iceberg melted.

Subject: RE: .
From: bobad
Date: 18 Jul 07 - 09:38 AM

What you see is not always what you get.

Subject: RE: .
From: autolycus
Date: 18 Jul 07 - 11:47 AM

No, no, the iceberg is still in intensive care, last i read.


(I'll do your reply for you.

      Ice ee.

   I thengyow.)





      Ivor

Subject: RE: .
From: Severn
Date: 18 Jul 07 - 06:41 PM

Not a real iceberg photo, but a rendering of Cubist art?

Was the Titanic's sad end more like "The Follies Berg-Err"?

Subject: RE: .
From: Peace
Date: 18 Jul 07 - 06:48 PM

"Subject: RE: .
From: bobad - PM
Date: 18 Jul 07 - 09:38 AM

What you see is not always what you get. "

Crap. Next it's gonna be Santa or the Easter Bunny. NOTHING is sacred anymore. Barbara Ann used for a commercial for Barbeque Sauce and there is just no end to this. HUMBUG!

Subject: RE: .
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Jul 07 - 08:13 PM

I found this song, something about rambling rowdy days, and I'm going to use it for a commercial for Hummers.

Subject: RE: .
From: autolycus
Date: 19 Jul 07 - 01:44 AM

BTW,...............





       Ivor

Subject: RE: .
From: autolycus
Date: 19 Jul 07 - 01:45 AM

NALOPKT






    Ivor

Subject: RE: .
From: Peace
Date: 19 Jul 07 - 01:47 AM

You're right about that! But know WHAT? (Just proves it's true, huh?)

Subject: RE: .
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 19 Jul 07 - 02:59 AM

600

Subject: RE: .
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 19 Jul 07 - 03:00 AM

Not really but did you check?

Subject: RE: .
From: Peace
Date: 19 Jul 07 - 03:01 AM

Yeah.

Subject: RE: .
From: gnu
Date: 19 Jul 07 - 01:54 PM

No.

Subject: RE: .
From: cookster
Date: 19 Jul 07 - 02:04 PM

Huh uh.

Subject: RE: .
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Jul 07 - 03:34 PM

Wolf pee! I say, wolf pee!

Subject: RE: .
From: gnu
Date: 19 Jul 07 - 03:42 PM

Say, Rap... ever see the movie "Never Cry Wolf"? It is among my all time favourites. There are some scenes that require a bit of inside knowledge, but, pound for pound, a classic.

Inside knowledge.... like, where Rosie shuts of the fuel line in the plane to scare the young fellah... hilarious!

Renting the video is a "good idea".

Subject: RE: .
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 20 Jul 07 - 02:40 AM

Went to see Banda Celtamericana (from Chile) last night..excellent performances.......oops this is BS section!!!!

Subject: RE: .
From: Peace
Date: 20 Jul 07 - 05:27 AM

On some air bases the Air Force is on one side of the field and civilian aircraft use the other side of the field, with the control tower in the middle. One day the tower received a call from an aircraft asking, "What time is it?"
The tower responded, "Who is calling?"
The aircraft replied, "What difference does it make?"
The tower replied "It makes a lot of difference. If it is an American Airlines Flight, it is 3 o'clock. If it is an Air Force, it is 1500 hours. If it is a Navy aircraft, it is 6 bells. If it is an Army aircraft, the big hand is on the 12 and the little hand is on the 3. If it is a Marine Corps aircraft, it's Thursday afternoon."

Subject: RE: .
From: Peace
Date: 20 Jul 07 - 05:34 AM

A TOUGH U.S. Marine sergeant got word that the father of one of his men had passed away. At roll call he snapped: "Hey, Smith, your father died!" The Marine fainted on the spot. A week later the sister of another Marine died, and the sergeant once again called his men together. "Jones," he yelled out, "your sister died last night!" The Marine burst into tears.
   Finally, word got back to the general about the sergeant's insensitivity, and he was called on the carpet and told to be less direct and gruff when one of his men suffered a tragedy. A week later the sergeant was notified that Private Miller had just lost his mother. Remembering what the general had said, he lined up his troop and ordered: "Everyone whose mother is alive, please take one step forward - NOT SO FAST, MILLER!"

Subject: RE: .
From: Severn
Date: 21 Jul 07 - 09:08 PM

Back in line, Private Peace! Your thread's survived and is back from the grave!

I was a passenger in a car that was pulled over in Washington DC once by an OFFICER whose last name was Peace. Officer Peace, the Peace Officer. Said so right on his badge. I wasn't going to push it and ask him if his first name was Warren, lest he'd issue a Warren for my arrest.

He'd seen the damnfool driver passing around a newly-opened wine bottle and drinking from it at a stop light. He took the three of us to a Police Station and then let us go to walk back to the car to "sober up". We finally got to the club just in time to see Tom Rush. I never found out who the opening act was.......

We'd not gotten to drink much, so he was still at the point of being an Officer, rather than an Ossifer, and he WAS a gentleman, as befits a Man Of Peace, even one who carries a piece.

Subject: RE: .
From: cookster
Date: 21 Jul 07 - 10:30 PM

Drop and give me 20 private!!!

Subject: RE: .
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Jul 07 - 11:55 PM

Harry fights Moldy Voldy and is half-mindkilled. Being thus qualified he joins the US Marines, rises to the rank of Gunnery Sergeant, and retires after 40 years active service.

Subject: RE: .
From: autolycus
Date: 22 Jul 07 - 05:54 AM

Going back to the thread's raison d'etre, here's something of no value.



    The war on terrorism will continue endlessly until the causes of terrorism in the first place are discovered and addressed by those in charge.


    I THINK writing the above has no value.






       Ivor

Subject: RE: .
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 22 Jul 07 - 08:14 AM

I THINK...I THINK writing the above has no value..has no value! What do you think or don't you think thinking about thinking is worth thinking about?

Subject: RE: .
From: autolycus
Date: 22 Jul 07 - 08:55 AM

Haven't given it much thought.




Aaaaaaaaaaaas usual.



      Ivor

Subject: RE: .
From: Severn
Date: 22 Jul 07 - 09:09 AM

How can we find the source of Tearer-ism when the English, after all these years haven't even identified the source of Ripper-ism? They still don't know Jack.

Subject: RE: .
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 22 Jul 07 - 12:44 PM

Tearerism...mmmm don't know enough about Cry-baby-Bunting to make a comment really!

Subject: RE: .
From: Severn
Date: 22 Jul 07 - 01:41 PM

.....Not to mention finding out the true identity of the distaff side of that coin, that notorious female strangler,

SUFFOLK KATE

Subject: RE: .
From: Stephen L. Rich
Date: 22 Jul 07 - 09:09 PM

...or who put the "Ram" in the ramalamadingdong...

Stephen Lee

Subject: RE: .
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Jul 07 - 09:15 PM

Queen Elanor was a sick woman
And afraid that she would die
When she sent for two friars of France
To come to her speedily.

Subject: RE: .
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 23 Jul 07 - 07:21 AM

The friars fried her bacon and eggs,
She ate with vim and vigour.
Not knowing that this tasty food,
Would ruin her shapely figure.

Subject: RE: .
From: TheSnail
Date: 23 Jul 07 - 08:01 AM

OH MY GOD!!!!!

Georgiansilver is Walkaboutverse!

Subject: RE: .
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Jul 07 - 09:13 AM

I have the Hitchhiker's Guide To The Universe...and a brand new towel.

Subject: RE: .
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 23 Jul 07 - 10:34 AM

Forgive my ignorance please but what or who is walkaboutverse?   sounds like a travelling poet
Best wishes, Mike.

Subject: RE: .
From: bobad
Date: 23 Jul 07 - 07:25 PM

Walkaboutverse

Subject: RE: .
From: Peace
Date: 23 Jul 07 - 07:30 PM

Look, no offense, but if you guys are gonna start with serious meaningful posts, PLEASE start your own thread and don't hijack this one.

Subject: RE: .
From: bobad
Date: 23 Jul 07 - 07:41 PM

Oops, sorry - but if you look carefully you will see that I left out a letter in my post - that surely diminishes it's meaningfulness.

Oh no, there I go again being serious - disregard this post.

Subject: RE: .
From: Peace
Date: 23 Jul 07 - 07:43 PM

Oh. That's OK then.

Subject: RE: .
From: John Hardly
Date: 23 Jul 07 - 09:14 PM

I've been gone for a week and I just noticed that this thread is still going. I wonder what I could do to make it go away? I've tried posting to it several times and that doesn't seem to help.

Now someone is trying to put serious content in it. That should be a capital offense. Stop that.

Subject: RE: .
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Jul 07 - 09:38 PM

Do you know what happens if you click on "Lyrics and Knowledge" instead of "Post To This Thread"?

Subject: RE: .
From: Peace
Date: 23 Jul 07 - 11:55 PM

Listen to Rapaire. Then come back and tell us what happened.

Subject: RE: .
From: gnu
Date: 24 Jul 07 - 09:22 AM

Yeah! Could we please centralize this discussion on nothing?

Subject: RE: .
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Jul 07 - 09:39 AM

Nothing. Well, isn't that something? Nothing. Well, I swan!

Subject: RE: .
From: beardedbruce
Date: 24 Jul 07 - 09:55 AM

Since you can't prove a negative, how do you know when you have a vacuum?

Subject: RE: .
From: John Hardly
Date: 24 Jul 07 - 10:21 AM

ask Kirby.

Subject: RE: .
From: gnu
Date: 24 Jul 07 - 10:26 AM

Sucks, eh?

Subject: RE: .
From: Alec
Date: 24 Jul 07 - 10:59 AM

"People assume that time is a strict progression of cause to effect,but actually,from a non-linear,non-subjective viewpoint it's more like a big ball of wibbly-wobbly timey-wimey stuff"
Thus claimed The Doctor in Doctor Who.
My contribution of no worth or value is that I think he may be on to something with that one.

Subject: RE: .
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 24 Jul 07 - 11:29 AM

So many worthy people making worthless interjections makes it all worthwhile!

Subject: RE: .
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Jul 07 - 11:37 AM

Away unto the West'ard
There's a place a man can go
Where the plumbing's always indoors
And you don't freeze in the snow.

And I'll haul up my pants
Where your stream freezes solid
Bide away the days
Waiting for some warmer days.

Subject: RE: .
From: beardedbruce
Date: 24 Jul 07 - 11:40 AM

Georgiansilver,


Shouldn't that have been:

So very many worthy people making so very many worthless interjections makes it all so very worthwhile!

?

Subject: RE: .
From: autolycus
Date: 24 Jul 07 - 02:30 PM

'Centralise this on nothing'

   Well, ok, - um - you see, whatever, you see, I mean, he came in and, y'know, whatever, and then, Gooooooooooooood, i mean, y'know, he actually, and theeeeeeeeeeeeen sheeeeeeeeee did the saaaaaaaaamme , y'know, so I, y'know, if the papers, well anyway, innit, or , innit?, so anyway, theeeeen sheeeeee, a different sheeee, came out with, y'know, just absolutely whatever, grrrrrrrrrrr, I could have..., but her father, y'know, he did, he actually did, can. You . Believe. It.

So anyway, theeeeeeeen, the mouse, you know, it, well, anyway, later on, after I'd finished my tea, the man arrived, and, y'know, whateeeeeeeeeever. Or. So. I. Thought.

but whadda I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I know?


















   and evrything.




    Ivor

Subject: RE: .
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Jul 07 - 03:50 PM

The square root of negative zero.

Subject: RE: .
From: beardedbruce
Date: 24 Jul 07 - 03:52 PM

"The square root of negative zero."

1. Zero is neither negative nor positive.
2. the square root of zero is zero.

Next you want to use noon in the afternoon or midnight in the morning, I guess.

Subject: RE: .
From: Pseudolus
Date: 24 Jul 07 - 03:56 PM

So is negative midnight evening?

Subject: RE: .
From: beardedbruce
Date: 24 Jul 07 - 04:07 PM

No.

Subject: RE: .
From: autolycus
Date: 24 Jul 07 - 04:09 PM

That IS a tough one.

   mushroom, I suppose.

   Whatever.





       Ivor

Subject: RE: .
From: beardedbruce
Date: 24 Jul 07 - 04:20 PM

Midnight and noon are POINTS of time, of infinitly short duration.

Subject: RE: .
From: Alec
Date: 24 Jul 07 - 05:07 PM

MY POINT EXACTLY! Wibbly wobbly timey wimey stuff!
Oh & the French for London is Paris.

Subject: RE: .
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 24 Jul 07 - 05:30 PM

That's great...three o'clock is a point of time too.....well...so is 5.30......hey this is fun........6.25.....7.19.......8.47

Subject: RE: .
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Jul 07 - 05:59 PM

You must differentiate between time and duration, and when you can do that you can understand the concept of negative zero. You will also hear the sound of one hand clapping and know if a tree that falls in the forest when there is no one around makes any sound.

Subject: RE: .
From: JennyO
Date: 24 Jul 07 - 10:25 PM

Yes, but does the Pope shit in the woods between midnight and noon?

Subject: RE: .
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 24 Jul 07 - 10:26 PM

The word "isthmus" is intrinsically disgusting. I know it means a narrow strip of land bordered by water on both sides, but it should mean a foul-smelling nasal discharge.

Subject: RE: .
From: beardedbruce
Date: 25 Jul 07 - 08:57 AM

Oh! How I Hate to Get Up In The Morning

Words and music by Irving Berlin
© Copyright 1918 by Irving Berlin
© Copyright Renewed
International Copyright Secured
All Rights Reserved

"Oh! How I Hate To Get Up In The Morning,
Oh! How I'd love to remain in bed
For the hardest blow of all is to hear the bugler call:
'You've got to get up, you've got to get up,
You've got to get up this morning!'"

Someday I'm going to murder the bugler
Someday they're going to find him dead
I'll amputate his reveille and stomp upon it heavily
And spend the rest of my life in bed!

A bugler in the army is the luckiest of men
He wakes the boys at five and then goes back to bed again
He doesn't have to blow again until the afternoon
If ev'rything goes well with me I'll be a bugler soon!

"Oh! How I Hate To Get Up In The Morning,
Oh! How I'd love to remain in bed
For the hardest blow of all is to hear the bugler call:
'You've got to get up, you've got to get up,
You've got to get up this morning!'"

Oh, boy! The minute the battle is over
Oh, boy! The minute the foe is dead
I'll put my uniform away and move to Philadelphia
And spend the rest of my life in bed!

Subject: RE: .
From: JennyO
Date: 25 Jul 07 - 09:15 AM

I DON'T WORK FOR A LIVING (Collected Australian Version)

based on a song by James Mullen and Edward Leroy Freeman

Chorus
I don't work for a living I get along alright without
I don't toil all day, I suppose it's because I'm not built that way
Some people work for love and say it's all sunshine and gain,
But if I can't get sunshine without any work I think I'll stay out in the rain!

They say we're all born for a purpose, they say we're all born with a gift
Some people like to be famous, I suppose it's by hard work and thrift.
There's lots of us fighting and striving, for seat down in the old A.C.T.
But if I've got a seat in my trousers, and a missus to work for me….

Chorus

Now give me a nail and a hammer, and a picture to hang on the wall
And give me a strong step ladder, you know that I might fall,
And give me a couple of waiters, and a barrel of good old Bass Ale
And I bet you I'll hang up that picture, if somebody drives the nail.

Last Chorus
I don't work for a living I get along alright without
I live peacefully, labour disputes never worry me.
I love my family and the missus, o how I adore.
I decided to make them all happy, that's why I never go home anymore!

Subject: RE: .
From: beardedbruce
Date: 25 Jul 07 - 09:15 AM

609!


PINWHEEL!

Subject: RE: .
From: JennyO
Date: 25 Jul 07 - 09:22 AM

Have fun with it Bruce. They make a nice personal fan - even the little ones :-)

Subject: RE: .
From: beardedbruce
Date: 25 Jul 07 - 09:26 AM

Thanks. I always wanted a pinwheel of my very own.

Subject: RE: .
From: cookster
Date: 25 Jul 07 - 09:28 AM

Does anyone know where Peace went??

Subject: RE: .
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Jul 07 - 09:32 AM

Gentlemen may cry, Peace, Peace-- but there is no Peace. The war is actually begun! The next gale that sweeps from the north will bring to our ears the clash of resounding arms! Our brethren are already in the field! Why stand we here idle? What is it that gentlemen wish? What would they have? Is life so dear, or peace so sweet, as to be purchased at the price of chains and slavery? Forbid it, Almighty God! I know not what course others may take; but as for me, give me liberty or give me death!

Subject: RE: .
From: cookster
Date: 25 Jul 07 - 09:34 AM

Oh brother..

Subject: RE: .
From: beardedbruce
Date: 25 Jul 07 - 09:35 AM

He might be in transit:

"Mudcatter Bruce Murdoch will be one of Mike Regenstreif's guests this coming Thursday July 26 on Folk Roots/Folk Branches on CKUT in Montreal."
thread.cfm?threadid=103500&messages=31#2109162

Subject: RE: .
From: beardedbruce
Date: 25 Jul 07 - 09:39 AM

On the Road Again


On the road again
I just can't wait to get on the road again
The life I love is makin' music with my friends
And I can't wait to get on the road again

On the road again
Goin' places that I've never been
Seein' things that I may never see again
I can't wait to get on the road again

On the road again
Like a band of gypsies
We go down the highway
We're the best of friends
Insisting that the world keep turnin' our way
And our way
Is on the road again
I just can't wait to get on the road again
The life I love is makin' music with my friends
And I can't wait to get on the road again

Subject: RE: .
From: cookster
Date: 25 Jul 07 - 09:49 AM

Who sings that song??

Subject: RE: .
From: beardedbruce
Date: 25 Jul 07 - 09:52 AM

Willie Nelson

Subject: RE: .
From: beardedbruce
Date: 25 Jul 07 - 09:52 AM

619!

ANOTHER PINWHEEL!!!!


Artist: ABBA

Song: Merry-Go-Round



I have tried in vain never had success
So it seems my life is nothing but a mess
I have lost my only friend
Now it seems I have to start again

Merry-go-round
Where am I bound
With my love and feelings
Merry-go-round
Who wants to kiss me
And hug me and miss me
Yes, who wants to do it
I wish that I knew it
Merry-go-round
Wish I had found
Somebody to care for
Where am I bound
Life is so lonely
If life is just only
To love with my loving
Goes round and round

Looking for someone
Who would want to stay
I might find her
With a bit of luck one day
But who knows
So until then
I can only try and try again

Merry-go-round
Where am I bound
With my love and feelings
Merry-go-round
Who wants to kiss me
And hug me and miss me
Yes, who wants to do it
I wish that I knew it
Merry-go-round
Wish I had found
Somebody to care for
Where am I bound
Life is so lonely
If life is just only
To love with my loving
Goes round and round

Merry-go-round
Where am I bound
With my love and feelings
Merry-go-round
Who wants to kiss me
And hug me and miss me
Yes, who wants to do it
I wish that I knew it
Merry-go-round
Wish I had found
Somebody to care for
Where am I bound
Life is so lonely
If life is just only
To love with my loving
Goes round and round

Subject: RE: .
From: JennyO
Date: 25 Jul 07 - 10:11 AM

Wow - you're actually getting a collection!

Subject: RE: .
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 25 Jul 07 - 11:17 AM

Willie Nelson....I thought that was a wrestling hold!

Subject: RE: .
From: John Hardly
Date: 25 Jul 07 - 11:20 AM

You've got to know when to hold 'em.

Apparently you've also got to know when to fold them, and it's not when it comes with instructions not to fold, bend, spindle, or mutilate.

Subject: RE: .
From: beardedbruce
Date: 25 Jul 07 - 11:50 AM

re pinwheels.
I have some:

1,8,11,609,619

I still need 69,88,101,111,181, and those above 619 ( 689,808,818,1001,1111,1691,1881,6009,6119,6699,6889,8008,8118,8698,8888).

I do not think I will try for those above 4 digits- I would not want to upset Rapaire.

Subject: RE: .
From: beardedbruce
Date: 25 Jul 07 - 11:52 AM

Georgiansilver,

No, that is his half brother, "Half" Nelson. They are the children of "Full" Nelson, with different mothers.

Subject: RE: .
From: TheSnail
Date: 25 Jul 07 - 12:49 PM

The Willie Nelson was used in Ancient Greek wrestling.

Subject: RE: .
From: JennyO
Date: 25 Jul 07 - 12:50 PM

I can't remember what pinwheels I have in the "smaller" numbers of less than 5 digits. But I do have 16091, 16191, 16891, 18081 and 18181.

I think I did upset Rapaire with 18181. At least he did a lot of ostentatious sobbing, and there was all that stuff about his mother's number and me stealing his inheritance. Some people will do anything to get sympathy!

I would never do such a thing. Just because my mother cut me out of her will and didn't leave me any numbers - not even her crummy ones that weren't worth having anyway, and I had to work my fingers to the bone to bring up two children on a pittance, and we were so poor that we nearly always had to live in houses with numbers nobody wanted - like number 13. And just because my collection of pinwheels is all I have to leave my children......No, I would never stoop so low just to get people's sympathy!

Subject: RE: .
From: beardedbruce
Date: 25 Jul 07 - 12:57 PM

forgot some!


96,906,916,986,1961,6969,8968,9006,9116,9696, and 9966

see? There are so many left to get, and so few threads...

Subject: RE: .
From: beardedbruce
Date: 25 Jul 07 - 01:00 PM

The Snail,

OUCH!

Subject: RE: .
From: cookster
Date: 25 Jul 07 - 01:00 PM

628

Subject: RE: .
From: cookster
Date: 25 Jul 07 - 01:02 PM

Ooops 629 and PINWEEL!!!

Subject: RE: .
From: gnu
Date: 25 Jul 07 - 01:08 PM

Messin with the rules again, eh? Tsk. Tsk.

Subject: RE: .
From: beardedbruce
Date: 25 Jul 07 - 01:09 PM

Sorry, C'ster.

2 does not work in a pinwheel- the number has to be the same when rotated around the center (look at it upside-down)

69 becomes... 69
96 becomes ...96
88 becomes 88
11 becomes 11


629 becomes... ???

Subject: RE: .
From: beardedbruce
Date: 25 Jul 07 - 01:11 PM

next one here is 689, BTW.

Subject: RE: .
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 25 Jul 07 - 01:13 PM

Interesting views on Willie Nelson....I also heard that 'Box Car Willie' is a disease you catch on American goods trains...is that so?

Subject: RE: .
From: beardedbruce
Date: 25 Jul 07 - 01:14 PM

Only if you have been "riding the rails".

Subject: RE: .
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Jul 07 - 01:17 PM

Like a circle in a spiral
Like a wheel within a wheel
Never ending or beginning
On an ever-spinning reel
Like a snowball down a mountain
Or a carnival balloon
Like a carousel thats turning
Running rings around the moon
Like a clock whose hands are sweeping
Past the minutes of its face
And the world is like an apple
Whirling silently in space
Like the circles that you find
In the pinwheels of your mind

Like a circle in a spiral
Like a wheel within a wheel
Never ending or beginning
On an ever-spinning reel
As the images unwind
Like the circles that you find
In the pinwheels of your mind

Subject: RE: .
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Jul 07 - 01:41 PM

Как круг в спирали полюбите колесо внутри колесо никогда не кончаясь или начинать на всегда-zakruciva4 вьюрке как snowball вниз с горы или воздушный шар масленицы как thats carousel поворачивая идущие кольца вокруг луны как часы руками будут sweeping прошлым минуты своей стороны и миром как яблоко завихряясь молчком в космосе как круги вы находите в pinwheels вашего разума

Subject: RE: .
From: beardedbruce
Date: 25 Jul 07 - 01:56 PM

There you go, rushin around again.



Slow down, you move too fast.
You got to make the morning last.
Just kicking down the cobble stones.
Looking for fun and Feelin' Groovy.

Hello Mr. lampost,
What cha knowing?
I've come to watch your flowers growing.
Ain't cha got no rhymes for me?
Do-doot-in' doo-doo,
Feelin' Groovy.

Got no deeds to do.
No promises to keep.
I'm dappled and drowsy and ready to sleep.
Let the morning time drop all its petals on me.
Life, I love you,
All is groovy.

Subject: RE: .
From: JennyO
Date: 25 Jul 07 - 01:56 PM

As circle in the spiral you will fall in love with wheel inside wheel never ending or to begin on vsegda-.zakruchivaya reel as snowball downward from the mountain or the balloon of carnival as thats carousel turning the going rings around the moon as hours by hands will be sweeping the past of the minute of its side and by peace as apple being whirled silently in space as circles you find in pinwheels your reason

O - kay...

Subject: RE: .
From: autolycus
Date: 25 Jul 07 - 02:00 PM

BING0HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH !!!!!!!!!!

    hOW MUCH DO I WIN?




      Ivor

Subject: RE: .
From: beardedbruce
Date: 25 Jul 07 - 02:02 PM

for what?

Subject: RE: .
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Jul 07 - 03:19 PM

You know what.

Subject: RE: .
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 25 Jul 07 - 04:34 PM

Watt?....lightbulbs...he invented lightbulbs!

Subject: RE: .
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Jul 07 - 10:00 PM

What? Tile her?

Subject: RE: .
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 26 Jul 07 - 06:26 AM

Rapaire..your English History knowledge is revealing itself here!

Subject: RE: .
From: GUEST,ibo
Date: 26 Jul 07 - 06:57 AM

fiddly diddly dumpty doo,knickety knackety noo taroo

Subject: RE: .
From: GUEST,IBO
Date: 26 Jul 07 - 07:12 AM

FISH ARE GREAT,ARENT THEY

Subject: RE: .
From: beardedbruce
Date: 26 Jul 07 - 07:28 AM

Hold tight, hold tight, hold tight, hold tight
Foo-ra-de-ack-a-sa-ki
Want some sea food mama
Shrimpers and rice they're very nice
Hold tight, hold tight, hold tight, hold tight
Foo-ra-de-ack-a-sa-ki
Want some sea food mama
Steamers and sauce and then of course
I like oysters, lobsters too,
and I like my tasty butter fish
When I come home from work at night
I get my favorite dish, fish
Hold tight, hold tight, hold tight, hold tight
Foo-ra-de-ack-a-sa-ki
Want some sea food mama
Shrimpers and rice
They're very nice
They're very nice

Subject: RE: .
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 26 Jul 07 - 09:14 AM

Want some sea food mama?

I once had some sea food mama...she was a crabby woman.

Subject: RE: .
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Jul 07 - 09:18 AM

Oh, no!

Subject: RE: .
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Jul 07 - 12:13 PM

Keep on truckin' Momma
Truckin' 'til the break of day....

Subject: RE: .
From: autolycus
Date: 26 Jul 07 - 05:06 PM

Have you noticed when reading the dictionary how difficult it is to follow the plot?



Still, they do explain evrey word.

So that's all right.




    Ivor

Subject: RE: .
From: beardedbruce
Date: 26 Jul 07 - 05:09 PM

evrey - "AltaVista found 148,000 results "

Subject: RE: .
From: Severn
Date: 26 Jul 07 - 06:06 PM

Ahhhhh!

A dose of Fats Waller in one fat swaller.

He always sounded like he was singing it with a different part of the oral tradition in mind than did The Android Sisters.

Subject: RE: .
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Jul 07 - 06:43 PM

Look! It's the pionic man!

Subject: RE: .
From: Stephen L. Rich
Date: 26 Jul 07 - 11:36 PM

beardedbruce, "Since you can't prove a negative, how do you know when you have a vacuum?"

Simple. Plug it in. Turn it on. If it sucks yu can hoover all day!

Stephen Lee

Subject: RE: .
From: Stephen L. Rich
Date: 26 Jul 07 - 11:44 PM

Don't
By Stephen Lee Rich

Don't stick a carrot up your nose
Don't stick a carrot up your nose
Don't stick a carrot up your nose,
Because, carrots don't like that.

Don't teach a buffalo to fly
Don't teach a buffalo to fly
Don't teach a buffalo to fly
Without accident insurance.

Don't drive your car up on the roof
Don't drive your car up on the roof
Don't drive your car up on the roof
It will ruin your suspension.

Bridge:
Don't fill a camel's hump with beer.
Don't force a rabbit to be brave.
Don't build snowmen in Hawaii.
Don't use your elbows to shave.

Don't try to eat a wooden chair
Don't try to eat a wooden chair
Don't try to eat a wooden chair
Without a lot of mustard.

Bridge 2:
Don't fill a camel's hump with beer.
Don't hang you laundry in mid-air.
Don't plant a cactus in Alaska.
Don't leave a rake in your hair.

Don't stick a carrot up your nose
Don't stick a carrot up your nose
Don't stick a carrot up your nose,
Because, carrots don't like that.

Subject: RE: .
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 27 Jul 07 - 03:27 AM

Aw are we doing comedy songs then? Here's my rewrite of The Sally Gardens (The Sadly Gardens)

It was down by the Sadly Gardens, my love and I did meet,
As she crossed the Sadly Gardens, with bad breath- and smelly feet.
The odour was so ran--cid, I could smell her from the pa--rk bench,
Her best friend never told her, she had such an awful stench.

In a field down by the river, my fat love raised her arms,
Three inches of hair in her armpits, did not add to her charms.
Tattoos all over her body, made her look much worse than weird,
And the warts on her nose and earlobes, drew my eyes from off her beard.

It was down by the Sadly Gardens, my love and I did meet,
As she crossed the Sadly Gardens, with bad breath- and smelly feet.
I would not want any another, so no oth--er wi-ll I find,
She is hairy and smelly and ugly, but we all know love is blind.

Version by Mike Hill Nov 2006

Such a sweet sounding song...Best wishes, Mike.

Subject: RE: .
From: TheSnail
Date: 27 Jul 07 - 05:54 AM

Hey! This thread is getting interesting.

Stop it immediately.

Subject: RE: .
From: autolycus
Date: 27 Jul 07 - 05:55 AM

Home, home on the range,

   Where the deer ans the antelope play,

   And never is heard,

   A discouraging word,

   'Cos what can an antelope saaaaaaaayy?





      Ivor

Subject: RE: .
From: TheSnail
Date: 27 Jul 07 - 07:18 AM

Home, home and deranged.
They've let me out for the day.
I'm free from my cell.
The straightjacket as well.
Now I must see who I can slay.

Subject: RE: .
From: beardedbruce
Date: 27 Jul 07 - 07:33 AM

I learned it as:

Home, home on the range,
Where the beer and the cantelope play,
And never is heard,
A discouraging word,
'Cos what can a cantelope say?
But squish!

Subject: RE: .
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 27 Jul 07 - 08:43 AM

Home home on the range,
Where the mudcat writers are strange,
They can thrill every Nation,
With their imagination,
But there are some who think they're deranged.

Actually that's a Limerick...aw well!

Subject: RE: .
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Jul 07 - 09:21 AM

Too, too interesting. Let's restore some balance here!

For an atom or molecule in which two transitions are driven by laser beams, a three-state model is used. Transitions among the three states are caused only by the oscillating electric fields of the laser beams. The amplitudes and detunings of the two laser beams, which are various functions of the time, appear in the Schrödinger equation for the atom or molecule. In certain cases, the Schrödinger equation can be solved analytically, to find transition probabilities and the probability of no transition. This is done by using Clausen's special function, or by assuming that the sum of the two detunings is zero at all times. Conditions for complete transfer of the population from the ground state to an excited state are obtained from the analytic solutions.

Subject: RE: .
From: TheSnail
Date: 27 Jul 07 - 09:39 AM

But can Schrödinger's cat foresee death?

Subject: RE: .
From: beardedbruce
Date: 27 Jul 07 - 10:32 AM

Post 666 !!!

Subject: RE: .
From: beardedbruce
Date: 27 Jul 07 - 10:33 AM

When you care enough to send the hairy beast.

Subject: RE: .
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Jul 07 - 01:15 PM

Slouching towards Bethlehem to be born.

Subject: RE: .
From: GUEST,Unflavored
Date: 27 Jul 07 - 03:18 PM

I'm sending out to Michael Vick's for Chinese. Anyone else want to put in an order?

Subject: RE: .
From: gnu
Date: 27 Jul 07 - 03:52 PM

Well, a Pina Colada, of course. Owwwooooooo.

Subject: RE: .
From: Stephen L. Rich
Date: 27 Jul 07 - 04:39 PM

More beer, here!

Stephen Lee

Subject: RE: .
From: Severn
Date: 27 Jul 07 - 05:35 PM

Wrong Old Vic you're keeping Company with, gnu. Or do we have Traders in our midst? If so, then Michael may be on the block.

Someone else can throw in a Vapo Rub reference. I'm too tired.....

Subject: RE: .
From: Stephen L. Rich
Date: 27 Jul 07 - 11:28 PM

Have you been rubbing Vapo again? You know how she hates that!

Stephen Lee

Subject: RE: .
From: Severn
Date: 28 Jul 07 - 04:50 AM

Are you kidding, Steven? The little vixen LOVES her Vick's fix to cure the Sicks!

Subject: RE: .
From: gnu
Date: 28 Jul 07 - 06:55 AM

Severn, my dear man. That would have made sense. Tsk. Tsk.

Anyway, I really don't think he'll last. I mean, if you scramble on most downs, you are gonna get hit a lot of them. Eventually, he's gonna get Bledsoed. Kung powed?

Subject: RE: .
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 28 Jul 07 - 07:13 AM

The gym. sauna and steamroom were good today!

Subject: RE: .
From: GUEST,beardedbruce
Date: 28 Jul 07 - 07:51 AM

Then they should be rewarded!


What have you done for THEM lately?

Subject: RE: .
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 28 Jul 07 - 10:28 AM

I gave myself to them in fine style....for a couple of hours.

Subject: RE: .
From: HouseCat
Date: 28 Jul 07 - 10:36 AM

I kicked the door jamb in the dark last night getting up to go to the bathroom and I think I broke my pinkie toe.

Subject: RE: .
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Jul 07 - 11:03 AM

You are supposed to kick OUT the jambs.

Subject: RE: .
From: HouseCat
Date: 28 Jul 07 - 11:10 AM

Whatever I'm meant to do with it, my toe still hurts like the devil and has turned a lovely shade of aubergine.

Subject: RE: .
From: John Hardly
Date: 28 Jul 07 - 11:17 AM

"...my toe still hurts like the devil and has turned a lovely shade of aubergine."

Probably like a Tasmanian Devil, the toe being, "down under" much like your lovely shade of aborigine. By the way, did you know you misspelled "aborigine"?

Subject: RE: .
From: gnu
Date: 28 Jul 07 - 11:19 AM

Hardly John.

Subject: RE: .
From: HouseCat
Date: 28 Jul 07 - 11:22 AM

Toe is sort of "down under" because I can't move it to straighten it out...ouch ouch ouch.

Subject: RE: .
From: John Hardly
Date: 28 Jul 07 - 11:26 AM

"Hardly John."

Hardly, John

**********************************************************

Maybe you could make the toe more comfortable by putting some down under it. It might help put it back to its more aboriginal state.

Subject: RE: .
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 28 Jul 07 - 11:51 AM

What a great feat that would be!

Subject: RE: .
From: HouseCat
Date: 28 Jul 07 - 11:54 AM

Grrrrrrrroan, GS and JH. On that note, I'm hobbling out to the garage sales.:~)

Subject: RE: .
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 28 Jul 07 - 11:56 AM

O.K Hop-it mate....

Subject: RE: .
From: Stephen L. Rich
Date: 28 Jul 07 - 03:59 PM

hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, JUMP, hop.

Subject: RE: .
From: Severn
Date: 28 Jul 07 - 04:26 PM

"Ya-a-ard Sales, in the Sunset!......"

Don't get Maine Toe Poisioning while you're out, House Cat! And remember, whatever you do, you'll always land on your feet, so be extra careful. You can hobble, but you can't hide!.....

Is the door jamb all right? How 'bout the toe jam?


And don't call the ambulance--Call the Toe Truck!

--------------------------------------------------------------

Georgiansilver,

Did the reward amount to a "token of your S-steam"?

-----------------------------------------------------------------

gnu,

"Bledsoed"? Is that like when Drew "bledsoe" internally and went through "withdrewals"?.

Subject: RE: .
From: John Hardly
Date: 28 Jul 07 - 04:28 PM

No need for a toe truck. Just get a bag of Fritos. It's cheaper.

Subject: RE: .
From: gnu
Date: 28 Jul 07 - 05:24 PM

Severn, yes. But since it made no sense to most Cats, I beleive there was no real contribution to the thread. Insert emoticon here.

Subject: RE: .
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 28 Jul 07 - 05:34 PM

Severn....yes thanks to the provision of water by the Severn-Trent Water folk.

Subject: RE: .
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Jul 07 - 10:25 PM

I'm assuming that Severn plays an instrument, and that's where the Severn meets the C.

Subject: RE: .
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 29 Jul 07 - 04:20 AM

Yes and not a Low C at the moment! Or river for that matter!

Subject: RE: .
From: Severn
Date: 29 Jul 07 - 08:35 AM

I play no instruments. I sing a bit, accapella.

Right now, I live accapella. The worst parts of that life can be too meaningless even for this thread. The best parts are way above and beyond it. You get some of the back roads, alleys and fringes of the middle to lower middle grounds in here. I hope I haven't disobeyed any "No Dumping" signs.

In fact, I'll tell the arresting officer that I thought the sign said, "Fine For Dumping", so I did. And will continue to do.

And I hope any Severn overflowings that might cause any damage never come from me.

Not that it all means anything, or it wouldn't be here. If it ever starts to, Joe can make any post an offer it can't refuse and send it to either Severn river bottom in cement shoes.

....But back to our regulary scheduled stuff.

I recently saw where some sort of institute for the study of Hpynotism in Silver Spring MD was having a open symposium. It would be interesting to be a fly on the wall for THAT one! It would have had the makings of a great Saturday Night Live sketch.

Subject: RE: .
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 29 Jul 07 - 10:59 AM

You do have to be careful how you read signs...In my youth I saw one saying "Wet Paint" and was arrested for doing so.

Subject: RE: .
From: JennyO
Date: 29 Jul 07 - 12:16 PM

Similarly - "Falling rocks don't stop".

Yeah, I knew that.

Subject: RE: .
From: Severn
Date: 29 Jul 07 - 12:22 PM

Back in the early 70's, when we'd drive past a roadsign that said "Signal Ahead", other longhair types in the car would inevitably lift up two fingers and say, "Peace, Brother!" Kinda got old after a while, but then, so did we....

A good old yellow-and-black American "Yield Ahead" road sign might look good posted on the Tower Of London, though.

My favorite that was actually there on purpose was a sign that said "Slow Children Playing" in front of a school for retarded youth.

Subject: RE: .
From: Severn
Date: 29 Jul 07 - 12:29 PM

Praise
The Lord! Have I reached the 700 Club?

Subject: RE: .
From: gnu
Date: 29 Jul 07 - 01:02 PM

What's that up, a head?

Subject: RE: .
From: JennyO
Date: 29 Jul 07 - 01:15 PM

That's what the headhunter said - I want to get a head of you!

Subject: RE: .
From: cookster
Date: 29 Jul 07 - 01:59 PM

Hah I'm a head of you.

Subject: RE: .
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 29 Jul 07 - 04:45 PM

A great thread started Brucie,
I read with all my might.
The only problem I see,
Is it's a load of.....


Can't think of anything to rhyme with might!!!

Subject: RE: .
From: autolycus
Date: 29 Jul 07 - 05:29 PM

orange.




      Ivor

Subject: RE: .
From: gnu
Date: 29 Jul 07 - 06:03 PM

Not blue enough. Try again.

Subject: RE: .
From: TheSnail
Date: 29 Jul 07 - 07:51 PM

Anthracite?

Subject: RE: .
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Jul 07 - 08:01 PM

No, peat.

Subject: RE: .
From: autolycus
Date: 30 Jul 07 - 03:34 AM

Somebody has to say - for peat's sake !!




    Ivor

Subject: RE: .
From: John Hardly
Date: 30 Jul 07 - 05:38 AM

I wish I were a Brit
I'd never again say "shit"
It sounds so erudite
when made to rhyme with "white"

And "fecking", so I've heard,
Is another British word
just oozing savoir-faire
To the backward Yankee ear.

Only the uncultured masses
Refer to "tits" and "asses"
The Queen sits on 'er "oss" so
that's the proper way to go.

oo oo oo I wanna be like You oo oo
I wanna walk like you, talk like you

Subject: RE: .
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Jul 07 - 09:09 AM

Okay, repeat after me:

Barkeep, gimme a bottle of rotgut whiskey.

Subject: RE: .
From: TheSnail
Date: 30 Jul 07 - 11:14 AM

Pint of best, please.

Subject: RE: .
From: HouseCat
Date: 30 Jul 07 - 11:20 AM

Said Pheobe Snow,
About to go
Upon the train to Buffalo,
"My gown stays white
From morn til night
Upon the road
Of Anthracite."

I was told in choir that since my mishap with the door that I am no longer a soprano but an al-toe.

Subject: RE: .
From: John Hardly
Date: 30 Jul 07 - 11:33 AM

"I was told in choir that since my mishap with the door that I am no longer a soprano but an al-toe."

hmmm. And I would have suggested quasi-no-toe.

Subject: RE: .
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Jul 07 - 12:18 PM

I had a plant once that was nearly a bonsai. It was a quasi-bonsai.

Subject: RE: .
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 30 Jul 07 - 03:58 PM

My mother wanted to call me Quasimodo but my dad took the hump!

Subject: RE: .
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Jul 07 - 04:13 PM

A quart of the best milk, two pounds of the best butter, four quarts of finely milled flour, and a piece of good chocolate the size of your head.

Subject: RE: .
From: Severn
Date: 30 Jul 07 - 04:32 PM

I had a hunch it was so, GS. And when the name Quasimodo rang a bell, I realized he was the half brother of Semimodo. Both of them kinda look like they'd been through the ringer, but if the bell laws are stricken and re-pealed, they'll be back to work before the time that they'd have to go through the changes. Just like they tolled us a thousand times before.

Subject: RE: .
From: cookster
Date: 30 Jul 07 - 05:40 PM

Rapire repeat after Me

       Nothin' for me.

Subject: RE: .
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Jul 07 - 09:44 AM

True, Severn, but they both met a clapper and it was "lights out" for the boys.

Subject: RE: .
From: gnu
Date: 31 Jul 07 - 10:32 AM

That's got a familiar ring to it.

Subject: RE: .
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 31 Jul 07 - 01:04 PM

I personally believe they dropped a clanger!

Subject: RE: .
From: John Hardly
Date: 31 Jul 07 - 01:11 PM

or doppled a ganger.

Does a doppleganger have a doppler effect?

Subject: RE: .
From: gnu
Date: 31 Jul 07 - 01:33 PM

Bang bang bang went the trollip.

Subject: RE: .
From: John Hardly
Date: 31 Jul 07 - 01:47 PM

Oh my, how I love to bear witness to the blooms of the lovely trollops in Springtime!

Subject: RE: .
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Jul 07 - 02:05 PM

I mounted and rode off at a trollop.

Subject: RE: .
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Jul 07 - 02:06 PM

I just HAD to get the news from the gents to the auks.

Subject: RE: .
From: Severn
Date: 31 Jul 07 - 03:43 PM

Auk-ward HO!

Tell me if you spot any of the Great Blue Bunyan's Auks, mature, or mere babes, anywhere this side of Auksfordshire.

I recently joined the Autobahn Society and all I got back was pictures of German highways with no birds in them at all that weren't flattened. Did I do something wrong? Can I get my money back so I can be a marked man again?

Subject: RE: .
From: gnu
Date: 31 Jul 07 - 03:49 PM

I saw a Mustang hit a Falcon... horseshit and feathers everywhere.

Yeah, I know.... I saw a Jeep hit a Pepsicost.

Subject: RE: .
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Jul 07 - 03:53 PM

I saw the shit hit the fan....

Subject: RE: .
From: John Hardly
Date: 31 Jul 07 - 04:02 PM

or, as the Brits would say...

I saw the shite hite the fan (with the al-you-mini-um blades).

Subject: RE: .
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 31 Jul 07 - 05:08 PM

Saw the poo hit the extractor? Saw the excreta hit the wind prop?
Saw the turd hit the roto-blaster?

Subject: RE: .
From: TheSnail
Date: 31 Jul 07 - 05:19 PM

Sorry John, but we usually say "shit", in fact we say it quite a lot. Now, if you can just learn to spell "arse" properly....

aluminium

Subject: RE: .
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Jul 07 - 05:26 PM

I even saw the aluminum pass the spell-checker.

Subject: RE: .
From: JennyO
Date: 31 Jul 07 - 09:45 PM

I saw a Jeep hit a Pepsicost.

Okay, I'll feed you your line.

What's a Pepsicost?

Subject: RE: .
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Jul 07 - 10:56 PM

Depends on the size. I generally pay about a buck for 3/4ths of a liter of Pepsi.

Subject: RE: .
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 01 Aug 07 - 03:35 AM

OK 'Pepsi'....cost...bit like the old 'Piecost' joke in the sixties....and the Greek Urn(earn) in the fifties. Just updating itself again...The old ones are the best!!

Subject: RE: .
From: TheSnail
Date: 01 Aug 07 - 05:29 AM

I must return to those shores.

Subject: RE: .
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 01 Aug 07 - 06:28 AM

Yeah Yeah...I'll do that one for ya....What shores?........
Like I said, the old ones are the best.
My wife's going to the West Indies!.......Jamaica?.......no she went of her own accord!
My dog's got no nose.....Well how does he smell?....Terrible!

Subject: RE: .
From: John Hardly
Date: 01 Aug 07 - 06:49 AM

"Boys…" Mr Wampler the troop leader addressed the young scouts that sat in a semi-circle at his feet, "…the easiest and most accurate way to tell the age of a guitar is to carefully count the growth rings apparent in the spruce top. If you'll notice, as with any wood, the top of the guitar will carry with it the exact age of the guitar by simply counting the stripes of grain…"

From the circle of boys a hand shyly rose

"Do you have a question, Jimmy?"

Jimmy nervously replied, "Um, yes, scout leader Wampler. Wouldn't it be easier to look at the serial number and check on the internet?"

"But, Jimmy, that isn't the boy scout way, now is it?" Mr Wampler sternly replied.

"But….." Jimmy began again.

"Jimmy, do you want your luthiery merit badge or not?"

Subject: RE: .
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Aug 07 - 09:20 AM

One of my favorite composers is Luthwig von Beathaven. He kept time like a metronome by smashing stringed instruments.

Subject: RE: .
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 01 Aug 07 - 10:36 AM

What's brown and steamy and lies on a piano stool?

Subject: RE: .
From: Stephen L. Rich
Date: 02 Aug 07 - 06:57 AM

Lies on or lies to?

Subject: RE: .
From: beardedbruce
Date: 02 Aug 07 - 06:58 AM

if pianos have stools, shouldn't they wear diapers?

Subject: RE: .
From: gnu
Date: 02 Aug 07 - 07:09 AM

This thread is in the toilet. If it stays there, I hope it does get flushed.

Subject: RE: .
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 02 Aug 07 - 10:07 AM

The answer to the serious question....LOL was Beethovens' last movement

Subject: RE: .
From: Severn
Date: 02 Aug 07 - 07:50 PM

As befits a man universally viewed as one of the currently great decomposers of our time. I don't think he's on anyone's Shit Liszt.

Subject: RE: .
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 03 Aug 07 - 03:18 AM

ROFLOL

Subject: RE: .
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 03 Aug 07 - 03:19 AM

Of course Beethoven has been dead these many years..I wonder if he is still de-composing?

Subject: RE: .
From: John Hardly
Date: 03 Mar 08 - 06:15 PM

won't this thread ever die?

Subject: RE: .
From: skipy
Date: 03 Mar 08 - 06:18 PM

Nope!
Skipy

Subject: RE: .
From: Severn
Date: 03 Mar 08 - 07:02 PM

A little Dye-Us-Eggs-Mockina just in time for Easter!

Out of the dumpster and back to re-nude life! Thanks, Skipy!

Subject: RE: .
From: Peace
Date: 03 Mar 08 - 07:12 PM

I will say this once:

Subject: RE: .
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 03 Mar 08 - 07:19 PM

I just noticed this thread again. Amazing. I don't want to see any more abuse of MOAB after this run! There's content over there.

Subject: RE: .
From: Peace
Date: 03 Mar 08 - 07:23 PM

Oh yeah? YEAH?


OK then. I'm gonna say this once:

Subject: RE: .
From: John Hardly
Date: 03 Mar 08 - 07:33 PM

Peace,

Are you typing before you post? ...because your last two posts just come up blank. Nothing on 'em. Not even the usual gibberish. Just nothing.

Subject: RE: .
From: John Hardly
Date: 03 Mar 08 - 07:35 PM

"I don't want to see any more abuse of MOAB after this run! There's content over there."

There's content in a pig's eye. Aquous Humor. Better humor than here.

Subject: RE: .
From: John Hardly
Date: 03 Mar 08 - 07:36 PM

I typo-ed "aqueous". So sue me.

Subject: RE: .
From: Peace
Date: 03 Mar 08 - 08:27 PM

Your name is NOT Sue.

Gibberish? Gibberish you say? Well, back to you I say, and I'm only gonna say this once:

Subject: RE: .
From: John Hardly
Date: 03 Mar 08 - 08:30 PM

P-P-P-P-P-P-Peggy Sue me.

Subject: RE: .
From: Peace
Date: 03 Mar 08 - 08:33 PM

LOL

Subject: RE: .
From: autolycus
Date: 04 Mar 08 - 01:39 AM

I may say this again.


Ivor

Subject: RE: .
From: polaitaly
Date: 04 Mar 08 - 05:12 AM

I never said this....

paola

Subject: RE: .
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 04 Mar 08 - 05:58 AM

Who said that?

Subject: RE: .
From: autolycus
Date: 04 Mar 08 - 11:42 AM

Neither polaitaly nor I said 'that'. We both said 'this'. Do keep up, georgian.

Ivor

Subject: RE: .
From: The PA
Date: 04 Mar 08 - 11:46 AM

then

Subject: RE: .
From: Amos
Date: 04 Mar 08 - 11:53 AM

I like John's sense of aqueous.


A

Subject: RE: .
From: John Hardly
Date: 04 Mar 08 - 12:24 PM

Glad you see it my way.