BS: Hot Air Balloon Trip

Subject: BS: HOT AIR BALLOON TRIP
From: mick p r.m s.c
Date: 21 Jul 07 - 03:43 PM

Next Friday I am off too Metz,in france for a weeks hot air balloon flying.Anyone know any hot air balloon jokes.
                           Cheers Mick.

Subject: RE: BS: HOT AIR BALLOON TRIP
From: Peace
Date: 21 Jul 07 - 03:47 PM

George Bush?

Subject: RE: BS: HOT AIR BALLOON TRIP
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 21 Jul 07 - 03:50 PM

Have fun...it's like another world up there in a balloon.
Best wishes, Mike.

Subject: RE: BS: HOT AIR BALLOON TRIP
From: Peace
Date: 21 Jul 07 - 06:52 PM

The Americans and the Japanese decided to engage in a competitive balloon race. Both teams practiced hard and long to reach their peak performance. On the big day they felt ready. The Japanese won by a mile. Afterwards, the American team was discouraged by the loss. Morale sagged. Corporate management decided that the reason for the crushing defeat had to be found, so a consulting firm was hired to investigate the problem and recommended corrective action. The consultant's finding: The Japanese team had eight people steering and one person navigating; the American team had one person steering and eight people navigating. After a year of study and millions spent analyzing the problem, the consultant firm concluded that too many people were navigating and not enough were steering on the American team. So as race day neared again the following year, the American team's management structure was completely reorganized. The new structure: four navigation managers, three area navigation managers and a new performance review system for the person steering the balloon to provide work incentive. The next year, the Japanese won by two miles. Humiliated, the American corporation laid off the steerer for poor performance and gave the managers a bonus for discovering the problem.

Subject: RE: BS: HOT AIR BALLOON TRIP
From: Peace
Date: 21 Jul 07 - 06:53 PM

A man is flying in a hot air balloon and realizes he is lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts: "Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?" The man below says: "yes you're in a hot air balloon, hovering 30 feet above this field." "You must work in Information Technology," says the balloonist. "I do," replies the man. "How did you know?" "Well" says the balloonist, "everything you have told me is technically correct, but it's no use to anyone." The man below says, "You must work in Management". "I do" replies the balloonist, "but how did you know?" "Well", says the man, "you don't know where you are, or where you're going, but you expect me to be able to help. You're in the same position you were before we met, but now it's my fault."

Subject: RE: BS: HOT AIR BALLOON TRIP
From: nickp
Date: 22 Jul 07 - 05:24 AM

Been ballooning just once and it was an amazing treat. Have a great time.

And that's not a joke!

Subject: RE: BS: HOT AIR BALLOON TRIP
From: Rog Peek
Date: 22 Jul 07 - 07:31 AM

.....................................................................................

Gave him to a man who went up in a balloon,
Told him for to leave him with the man in the moon.
The balloon was busted down to earth it fled,
Seven miles away they picked the man up dead,
But the cat came back the very next day,
Thought he was a gonner but the cat came back
'Cause he wouldn't stay away.

Cisco Houston's version.

Subject: RE: BS: HOT AIR BALLOON TRIP
From: Midchuck
Date: 22 Jul 07 - 08:40 AM

Old "Wizard of Id" strip:

The king is flying around in a balloon, pontificating at his subjects from above.

One peasant says to another, "Look, it's the royal gas bag!"

The other replies, "Why is he in a hot air balloon?"

Peter.

Subject: RE: BS: Hot Air Balloon Trip
From: mick p r.m s.c
Date: 22 Jul 07 - 04:11 PM

Thanks to all just printed off the jokes will take them with me to tell at after flight gathering. Thanks again I knew Mudcatters would come up trumps.What great people you are. Keep jokes coming.
                  Cheers Mick.

Subject: RE: BS: Hot Air Balloon Trip
From: cookster
Date: 22 Jul 07 - 06:11 PM

In WWII the japenese launched hot air balloons with bombs draping from them. Only one caused a fatality In Oklahoma. The others landed in fields.

Subject: RE: BS: Hot Air Balloon Trip
From: RangerSteve
Date: 22 Jul 07 - 08:55 PM

I believe it was Oregon, no Oklahoma.

Subject: RE: BS: Hot Air Balloon Trip
From: cookster
Date: 22 Jul 07 - 09:26 PM

I couldn't remember.I saw it on a show once.

Subject: RE: BS: Hot Air Balloon Trip
From: Blowzabella
Date: 23 Jul 07 - 03:51 AM

My husband bought me a champagne trip in a hot air balloon for my 40th birthday. (It was for two people). I'm scared of heights - never took it up.

Subject: RE: BS: Hot Air Balloon Trip
From: frogprince
Date: 23 Jul 07 - 10:27 AM

Arranged a ride for my wife's birthday a few years ago. We both enjoyed it a lot.

Subject: RE: BS: Hot Air Balloon Trip
From: Greg B
Date: 23 Jul 07 - 02:23 PM

As some of you know, I'll fly in anything, anytime.

My friends at the airport who run a hot air balloon ride
service say the funniest question they ever get is:

"When do we turn around and go back to the airport?"

(Never mind that it is sometimes possible to actually do that)

Subject: RE: BS: Hot Air Balloon Trip
From: cookster
Date: 23 Jul 07 - 03:48 PM

I'm afraid of heights.

Subject: RE: BS: Hot Air Balloon Trip
From: mick p r.m s.c
Date: 23 Jul 07 - 03:51 PM

Yes it is possible to turn a hot air balloon round or at least fly in a different direction. Its all a matter of altitude.
                  Cheers ALL Mick.

Subject: RE: BS: Hot Air Balloon Trip
From: Peace
Date: 23 Jul 07 - 06:30 PM

"I'm afraid of heights. "

Don't look down.

Subject: RE: BS: Hot Air Balloon Trip
From: cookster
Date: 23 Jul 07 - 08:50 PM

I know but I still know I'm in the air.

Subject: RE: BS: Hot Air Balloon Trip
From: Greg B
Date: 24 Jul 07 - 11:27 AM

I'm afraid of heights too, but not of flying.

Though actually, somehow the basket of a hot air balloon
is more acrophobia-inducing than even an open-cockpit airplane.

Subject: RE: BS: Hot Air Balloon Trip
From: Donuel
Date: 24 Jul 07 - 11:38 AM

Wellsville NY had their big ballonza festival this week.
The everyready bunny balon was by far the largest and is taller than the statue of libeerty.
Is it Oshkosh had has has a big one too?

Subject: RE: BS: Hot Air Balloon Trip
From: frogprince
Date: 24 Jul 07 - 11:55 AM

I have a funny, inconsistant tendency to acrophobia. I can't deal with standing anywhere near a dropoff or building edge without a railing. Even standing on a small stool and reaching up to a light fixture bothers me. But I'm not bothered in the least by airplane flight, riding a mule on a narrow Grand-Canyon trail, or riding in a balloon; I can look all around, or look down, no problem.
My nephew has a fast boat and a parasail. I really don't know if I could go up without a problem, or if my reaction would be overpowering.

Subject: RE: BS: Hot Air Balloon Trip
From: Greg B
Date: 24 Jul 07 - 01:26 PM

Only one way to find out--- have a go. Parasails of all sorts are
remarkably safe.

I do find flying in an ultralight aircraft with no floor and nothing
but the rudder pedals beneath and ahead (pusher engine in back) to
be a bit daunting. Especially when it comes time to land and I'm
compelled to point the draggy little thing vary radically DOWN in
order to keep it flying. The paradox of having to fly oneself AT
the ground in order to avoid hitting same is rather difficult to
overcome.

Subject: RE: BS: Hot Air Balloon Trip
From: MG John
Date: 25 Jul 07 - 04:09 AM

There was this chap taking his first solo parachute jump, from a balloon. The drone chute tangled up with the main chute, so he jetisoned it in a panic and could not get the reserved chute to operate. He looked down to see how far from terra ferma he was, to see a chap zooming up towards him holding a big spanner. The guy shouts down "Hey mate do you know anything about parachutes", and the guy holding the spanner replies "No pal, do you know ought about gas ovens"!