BS: Happy birthday Joe Offer (August 17)

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Birthday, Joe Offer!
From: Joe Offer
Date: 03 Aug 07 - 02:31 PM

Well, I really do hate birthday threads, mostly because there is so much same-old same-old in them. How many truly innovative things can you say about birthdays? Now, since people don't know when my birthday is, it gives at least some variety to the mix.
I believe there are only two Mudcatters who know when my actual birthday is, and both of them are quite discreet.
I almost revealed my birthday one night after a number of beers in Yorkshire, but the beer helped because by that time, even I wasn't quite sure when my birthday was....
And if you want to know how old I am, wait a minute. I have to do the math.
-Joe-

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Birthday, Joe Offer!
From: gnu
Date: 03 Aug 07 - 02:32 PM

Amos... are you tryin to get Joe to shut this thread down? After all, that could be considered a "persoanl attack" eh? If Joe wasn't so thick skinned and you weren't so personable, well, I dare say these posts would be cut of in a

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Birthday, Joe Offer!
From: Megan L
Date: 03 Aug 07 - 02:34 PM

Gnu are you saying Joe is thick ?:p

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Birthday, Joe Offer!
From: Amos
Date: 03 Aug 07 - 03:16 PM

I hope Joe is perceptive enough to appreciate the current of wry humor beneath my apparently rude remarks. In fact, I am highly confident he is sensitive and alert enough to do so. If I am wrong, and he isn't, then what I said stands. Simple.


A

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Birthday, Joe Offer!
From: kytrad (Jean Ritchie)
Date: 03 Aug 07 - 04:06 PM

Joe- I hate birthday threads too; shall we start a thread about that? But as long as I'm belatedly here, Happy Birthday! And thanks for all your great help over the years.......    Jean

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Birthday, Joe Offer!
From: gnu
Date: 03 Aug 07 - 04:41 PM

Megan! You read what I said, and what I said was not what you more or less said what I said, know what I am sayin?

I shall be on the beer tonight, so, I likely shant post to this thread tomorrow. so.........

Happy 4th Of August Birthday Joe.

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Birthday, Joe Offer!
From: Celtaddict
Date: 04 Aug 07 - 12:40 AM

Happy whatever whenever and thanks for all you do.

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Birthday, Joe Offer!
From: Peace
Date: 04 Aug 07 - 12:42 AM

Seems like it was just yesterday I was posting to a thread like this. HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Joe.

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Birthday, Joe Offer!
From: InOBU
Date: 04 Aug 07 - 11:42 AM

Happy B day, whenever the hell it is...
cheers
lor

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Birthday, Joe Offer!
From: DougR
Date: 04 Aug 07 - 06:27 PM

Joe: I got a headach trying to be innovative. I really don't care when your birthday is. I just hope you have a good one!

DougR

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Birthday, Joe Offer!
From: gnu
Date: 05 Aug 07 - 06:57 AM

So, Joe, still pleading the fifth today?

Happy Birthmonth... yeah, I'm giving up. Just lazy, I guess. It's no fun if I can't get a rise outta ya.

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Birthday, Joe Offer!
From: autolycus
Date: 05 Aug 07 - 03:45 PM

Wellmy h.b. thread was avery happy experience for me. Posters were pretty innovative even with the date.

For some reason, people around here are individualistic.

Anyway, this one has shown how appreciative people are, in itself a cause for celebration in a naughty world.



next week's sermon will be on false teeth and the Jewish Problem.

'course if we all celebrated everyone every day, well, anyway,whatever.





       Ivor

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Birthday, Joe Offer!
From: Peace
Date: 05 Aug 07 - 03:48 PM

Will the sermon talk about real false teeth?

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Birthday, Joe Offer!
From: Peace
Date: 05 Aug 07 - 03:48 PM

Damn. Is he having another birthday so soon? Whew. HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Joe!

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Birthday, Joe Offer!
From: Peace
Date: 05 Aug 07 - 03:50 PM

Ya know, if he's having as many birthdays as I think he is, he's gotta be at least 293 years old.

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Birthday, Joe Offer!
From: Peace
Date: 05 Aug 07 - 03:56 PM

I had to check. That means that Joe was born the year the Stuart Dynasty in Britain came to an end. Coincidence? I think not!

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Birthday, Joe Offer!
From: autolycus
Date: 05 Aug 07 - 06:09 PM

You mean the Stuart dynasty was followed by the Joe Dynasty?

I can live with that.



(Er, false real teeth - thanks for asking.)




       Ivor

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Birthday, Joe Offer!
From: MMario
Date: 06 Aug 07 - 09:15 AM

May I be the first to wish Joe a happy sixth day of BirthMonth!

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Birthday, Joe Offer!
From: GUEST,Chanteyranger
Date: 06 Aug 07 - 02:52 PM

Happy belated birthday, Joe! All the best.

Chanteyranger

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Birthday, Joe Offer!
From: Celtaddict
Date: 06 Aug 07 - 11:48 PM

Can't let this thread go slipping off the bottom; keep celebrating, Joe!

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Birthday, Joe Offer!
From: autolycus
Date: 07 Aug 07 - 10:38 AM

This thread is going nowhere

































until everybody wishes Joe birthday watchamacallits.



      

      Ivor (after Bob Newhart)

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Birthday, Joe Offer!
From: MMario
Date: 07 Aug 07 - 10:48 AM

Happy first full week of Birthmonth, Joe! Just think, only what, 23 days to go?

Wouldn't it be much easier just to tell us which day it actually is?

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Birthday, Joe Offer!
From: Peace
Date: 07 Aug 07 - 01:08 PM

Is he having another one? That man has more birthdays than a horse has hairs. HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Joe.

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Birthday, Joe Offer!
From: gnu
Date: 08 Aug 07 - 01:29 PM

Gee. This thread nearly fell off the one day board. Phew... that was close.

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Birthday, Joe Offer!
From: MMario
Date: 08 Aug 07 - 01:34 PM

Okay - I'm gonna have to wish Joe a whole bunches of Happy Birthmonths because i'm gonna be out of town.

So Happy eight Day of Birthmonth!

yppaH htnin yad fo htnomhtriB!

Have a great decade of days of Birthmonth!

Hippo Eleventieth day of Birthmonth!

Congranulations on your doezenth day of BirthMonth!

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Birthday, Joe Offer!
From: BK Lick
Date: 08 Aug 07 - 05:39 PM

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                                 (            .-.'  `; `-._  __  _
         c~~p ,---------.       `-`-.        (_,         .-:'  `; `-._ 
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   ( O O                  )/     _) (     (__,-'      ,'o"(            )>
    `=^='                 /     /    )       (       (__,-'            )
          \    ,     .   /     /_,'  /        `-'._.--._(             )
          \\  |-----'|  /        \  /            |||  |||`-'._.--._.-'
          ||__|    |_|__|     ===m""m===                    |||  |||
  
                                                  __  _
                                 (            .-.'  `; `-._  __  _
         c~~p ,---------.       `-`-.        (_,         .-:'  `; `-._ 
    ,---'oo  )           \      '( @ >     ,'o"(        (_,           )
   ( O O                  )/     _) (     (__,-'      ,'o"(            )>
    `=^='                 /     /    )       (       (__,-'            )
          \    ,     .   /     /_,'  /        `-'._.--._(             )
          \\  |-----'|  /        \  /            |||  |||`-'._.--._.-'
          ||__|    |_|__|     ===m""m===                    |||  |||
  
                                 (           (             )
         c~~p ,---------.       `-`-.         `--(_   _)--'
    ,---'oo  )           \      '( @ >             Y-Y
   ( O O                  )/     _) (             /@@ \
    `=^='                 /     /    )           /     \     Joe
          \    ,     .   /     /_,'  /           `--'.  \             ,
          \\  |-----'|  /        \  /                |   `.__________/)
          ||__|    |_|__|     ===m""m===              \               |
  
                                                  __  _
                                 (            .-.'  `; `-._  __  _
         c~~p ,---------.       `-`-.        (_,         .-:'  `; `-._ 
    ,---'oo  )           \      '( @ >     ,'o"(        (_,           )
   ( O O                  )/     _) (     (__,-'      ,'o"(            )>
    `=^='                 /     /    )       (       (__,-'            )
          \    ,     .   /     /_,'  /        `-'._.--._(             )
          \\  |-----'|  /        \  /            |||  |||`-'._.--._.-'
          ||__|    |_|__|     ===m""m===                    |||  |||
  
  

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Birthday, Joe Offer!
From: GUEST,khandu
Date: 08 Aug 07 - 10:01 PM

Of course, since the relapse, I have not been myself, (nor have I been MMario, nor the Shambles) and time is a bit distorted. I was under the impression that this was then, but, obviously, it must be now. Therefore it is with great pleasure, many unexplained tears, and forgotten regrets that I must wish my dear Mr. Offer (who is certainly NO IGMO!!) the following:

HAPPY

BIRTHMONTH,

JOE OFFER!!

However, were this day the

16th of August

(which I am being told that this day is the 8th of August...though, for the life of me I think it is not even August yet), I would wish him a happy

Birth DAY

.

Nevertheless, I say again:

HAPPY

BIRTHMONTH,

JOE OFFER!!

Kk

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Birthday, Joe Offer!
From: jacqui.c
Date: 21 Aug 07 - 05:17 PM

We have been neglecting dear Joe and I thought that it was time to put that right!

Hope your birthday month is going well melove!

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Birthday, Joe Offer!
From: katlaughing
Date: 21 Aug 07 - 06:34 PM

I was hoping to be 100 but I decided I'd better get this in here before the month is gone!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, JOE!!!

luvyakat

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Birthday, Joe Offer!
From: bbc
Date: 21 Aug 07 - 09:28 PM

Happy Birthday, Joe! (Sorry I'm late!)

love,

barbara

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Birthday, Joe Offer!
From: Janie
Date: 21 Aug 07 - 09:51 PM

Geez Joe,

My intention was to write a couplet everyday.

Best laid plans and all that....

So, you get to decide. Is it

"The road to to hell...."

or

"It's the thought that counts."

Janie

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Birthday, Joe Offer!
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 22 Aug 07 - 04:05 AM

happy-rest-of-birfmonth!

and happy rest-of-year!!

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Birthday, Joe Offer!
From: MMario
Date: 22 Aug 07 - 08:47 AM

Boy - someone has some artistic talent! lOVE THE ascii art!

Happy 22n'd day of Birthmonth Joe!

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Birthday, Joe Offer!
From: Joe Offer
Date: 22 Aug 07 - 03:37 PM

Well, as far as I can tell, there are still only two very discreet Mudcatters who know when my birthday actually is - and khandu, despite his good intentions, is not one of them.
People at church have taken to wishing me a happy birthday all month, too...
-Joe-

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Birthday, Joe Offer!
From: catspaw49
Date: 22 Aug 07 - 03:48 PM

Well Joe, I'm sure Mr.3000 sends you birthday wishes and his many thanks for explaining the term, "Bum's Rush."

LMAO

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Birthday, Joe Offer!
From: Rog Peek
Date: 22 Aug 07 - 04:15 PM

When I wished you a Happy Birthday earlier in the month, I was unaware we didn't know the exact day, so here's another 30, one of them must be right!

Happy Birthday Joe
Happy Birthday Joe
Happy Birthday Joe
Happy Birthday Joe
Happy Birthday Joe
Happy Birthday Joe
Happy Birthday Joe
Happy Birthday Joe
Happy Birthday Joe
Happy Birthday Joe
Happy Birthday Joe
Happy Birthday Joe
Happy Birthday Joe
Happy Birthday Joe
Happy Birthday Joe
Happy Birthday Joe
Happy Birthday Joe
Happy Birthday Joe
Happy Birthday Joe
Happy Birthday Joe
Happy Birthday Joe
Happy Birthday Joe
Happy Birthday Joe
Happy Birthday Joe
Happy Birthday Joe
Happy Birthday Joe
Happy Birthday Joe
Happy Birthday Joe
Happy Birthday Joe
Happy Birthday Joe

Rog Peek

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Birthday, Joe Offer!
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 22 Aug 07 - 08:08 PM

OMG - it's THAT time again!

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Birthday, Joe Offer!
From: jacqui.c
Date: 25 Aug 07 - 07:25 AM

It fell off the end again - come on you lot, let's keep Joe's thread current until the end of the month. You know how much he appreciates the effort!

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Birthday, Joe Offer!
From: bobad
Date: 25 Aug 07 - 07:59 AM

♫ Sto lat! Sto lat! Niech zyje, zyje nam.
Sto lat! Sto lat! Niech zyje, zyje nam.
Jeszcze raz! Jeszcze raz! Niech zyje, zyje nam.
Niech zyje nam.♫

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Birthday, Joe Offer!
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 25 Aug 07 - 11:23 AM

well said.

birthmonths are such fun!!

birthyears would be even better, imagine 365 days of celebrating.

sandra

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Birthday, Joe Offer!
From: JennyO
Date: 25 Aug 07 - 11:27 AM

Well if we're gonna have birthday songs, here's one.

BIRTHDAY DIRGE (to the tune of the Volga Boatmen)

Happy Birthday! (UNH!)
Happy Birthday! (UNH!)

Death and gloom and dark despair
People dying everywhere

Happy Birthday! (UNH!)
Happy Birthday! (UNH!)

Birthdays come, but once a year
Marking time, as Death draws near

May the candles on your cake
Burn like cities in your wake

May your deeds with sheep and yaks
Equal those with sword and axe

Burn the Castle and storm the keep
Kill the Women but SAVE THE SHEEP!

We brought linen, white as cloud
Now we'll sit and sew your shroud!

Long ago your hair turned grey
Now it's falling out, they say

This one lesson you must learn
FIRST you pillage, THEN you burn!

Now you are the age you are
Your demise cannot be far

Death will come before the dawn
Now's the time to party on!

Happy Birthday! (UNH!)
Happy Birthday! (UNH!)

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Birthday, Joe Offer!
From: SINSULL
Date: 25 Aug 07 - 11:38 AM

Happy Birthday to you.
You belong in a zoo.
You look like a monkey
And you act like one too.

Happy Birthday, Joe!

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Birthday, Joe Offer!
From: Joe Offer
Date: 25 Aug 07 - 03:12 PM

How much of August is left? I think maybe I'd prefer to have a "birth minute" instead of a birthmonth.....

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Birthday, Joe Offer!
From: GUEST,signing in because we are supposed to
Date: 25 Aug 07 - 03:45 PM

At least Joe's Happy Birthday threads are always different. He can't say that they are the same old, same old.   . . . unless being different becomes the same old, same old. Wait a minute, I forgot where this post was taking me. Shall I say Happy Birthday, Joe! and risk upsetting the man who would be signing our paychecks if we were getting one for all the wisdom we impart? Lest you think I somehow left Max out of that job through ignorance, you surely know that Max would have delegated that chore to Joe long ago.

So back to the frivolity of the occasion. Here's a gentle Happy Life's Special Second to the fellow who would have preferred a "birth minute" instead of a birth month. Interpret that as a birthday wish if you wish.

I think I'll quit before a moment of weakness causes me to say Happy Birthday, J . . .

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Birthday, Joe Offer!
From: Janie
Date: 25 Aug 07 - 03:50 PM

Yadhtrib Yad, Oej.

Erom ynam erom.

Einaj

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Birthday, Joe Offer!
From: Janie
Date: 25 Aug 07 - 04:00 PM

Spoo.   Noitcerroc.

Dluohs evah depyt Eoj, dna ton Oej.

Yrros.

Einaj

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Birthday, Joe Offer!
From: KT
Date: 25 Aug 07 - 04:21 PM

Joe, I won't say the hb words since I am discreet, but I will say, I'm glad you were born during my lifetime!

Celebrate!

KT

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Birthday, Joe Offer!
From: JennyO
Date: 26 Aug 07 - 10:29 AM

Better get this one in before Birthday Month is over!

Birthday

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Birthday, Joe Offer!
From: jacqui.c
Date: 26 Aug 07 - 11:45 AM

Nice one Jenny!

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Birthday, Joe Offer!
From: SINSULL
Date: 26 Aug 07 - 11:46 AM

100!!!!!!!!!!!!
The ultimate birthday gift!