BS: Daft Adverts!

Subject: RE: BS: Daft Adverts!
From: fat B****rd
Date: 22 Aug 07 - 03:38 PM

I don't know about anywhere else but according to tv ads in the Uk only women ar ever constipated.

Subject: RE: BS: Daft Adverts!
From: autolycus
Date: 22 Aug 07 - 03:42 AM

There is an online site for creating petitions. One of our technophiles is bound to come up with the details (unless one of our technophiles is missing).

Subject: RE: BS: Daft Adverts!
From: Nickhere
Date: 21 Aug 07 - 05:56 PM

I get annoyed by the way most TV stations nowadays play the ads at a much higher volme than the programmes, jolting you out of your sleep on the couch. Can we start a campaign to the main stations to get something done about this (I like my sleep)?

Subject: RE: BS: Daft Adverts!
From: Declan
Date: 21 Aug 07 - 04:56 PM

If I see that man in the WKD add kick his underpants at his mate in the other bed once more I'm going to swing for someone. It must have been shown on every add break on Sky Sports for the last 5 years. Grr...

Subject: RE: BS: Daft Adverts!
From: autolycus
Date: 21 Aug 07 - 01:51 PM

Jackie Mason had fun with some old US ads many years ago.

   "There's this deoderant that says,'We stop perspiration around the clock!!'.

   "I took this deoderant, but I still perspire like anything.....................
   "But around my clock .........................

   "They've come up with a deoderant which will wipe out all the other ones. It's called 'Invisible'. You see you take this deoderant and you disappear completely. But the smell stays the same, only nobody knows where it's coming from, this is the trick.

   "There's another ad where a girl smokes a cigarette, and then she has the nerve to say,'I've tried everything,............but i prefer... a camel.'

   "I'd like to meet that woman.

   "Have you seen this ad where a beautiful woman is holding a baby, and a voice pops out and says,'Does she? Or doesn't she?'

   "Well whadds YOU think?"







       Ivor

Subject: RE: BS: Daft Adverts!
From: Mr Happy
Date: 21 Aug 07 - 06:49 AM

.............& then there's all those items that the adverts say have been 'voted product of the year!'

Who voted??

Subject: RE: BS: Daft Adverts!
From: Mr Happy
Date: 21 Aug 07 - 05:49 AM

Only dirty people wash!!

Subject: RE: BS: Daft Adverts!
From: GUEST,Dáithí
Date: 21 Aug 07 - 04:31 AM

I recently bought a bottle of liquid soap that claims to "wash hygienically".....??????????
D

Subject: RE: BS: Daft Adverts!
From: GUEST,Mercuryboy
Date: 21 Aug 07 - 03:30 AM

My own personal favourite was "For headaches, nothing works faster than anadin" (an aspirin product). Does this mean that if you take nothing then it would work faster?

Subject: RE: BS: Daft Adverts!
From: Nickhere
Date: 20 Aug 07 - 01:33 PM

Some ads seemed designed simply to confuse us. Guinness ran an ad a few years back that showed all these supposedly 'real' people (as opposed to actors) falling aorund the place laughing. There they were, laughing their heads off in Ballymun, falling backwards off walls at whatever had them in such a state of mirth. Perhaps the very ad they were asked to appear in? The price of a pint of Guinness? We were left mystified as not a word was spoken. I wondered if perhaps Guinness was trying to tell us that drinking their product turns its patrons into village idiots.

(I hope I got all the grammar right in that one!!)

Or what about that famous marekting phrase 'up to' as in "prolong your life by up to 1,000 years by using our product". Meaningless of course as 'up to' begins at zero.

Subject: RE: BS: Daft Adverts!
From: JennyO
Date: 20 Aug 07 - 01:03 PM

There was an ad a few years ago - obviously not very effective because I don't remember what it was advertising.

It went something like this:

One woman says "Since using *****, I feel like a new man!"

and the other woman says "Yes, but where are you going to find one this time of night?"

The ad only ran for a couple of weeks before it was censored, with the second woman's comment having been removed. Any Oz folks remember this one?

Subject: RE: BS: Daft Adverts!
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 20 Aug 07 - 03:05 AM

There's a jolly one for Boots the Chemist on UK TV at the moment. The best time to catch it is after 9.00pm because there's an extra bit added that doesn't get shown before then.

Basically, the advert draws attention to various pharmaceutical products we use and the price reduction on them, by price stickering people where they'd use the products. A girl on a swing gets stickered on her arms and legs where she'd use sunscreen, a couple kissing where they'd use lip balm or mouthwash... and a couple "in bed" together who hear the noise of the stickergun - but in the post watershed version, he lifts the sheets to see what they stickered!

Made me wonder.. those stickers can be right buggers to peel off without leaving a mark or ripping the wrapper...

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Daft Adverts!
From: bubblyrat
Date: 19 Aug 07 - 08:53 AM

You could get away with that, of course. Some years ago, the spy-ship USS Pueblo was captured by the North Koreans, who paraded the crew through the streets of Pyongyang, and then put the Captain on TV to publicly apologise . Counting on their English being more formal than colloquial, the Captain ( Blucher? Belcher ? ) chose the word "paeon" , meaning to "praise", and blithely said of his captors " I should like to pee on the Korean Navy, and pee on the Korean Army ......" Etc., etc !!!!

Subject: RE: BS: Daft Adverts!
From: Backwoodsman
Date: 19 Aug 07 - 05:02 AM

Becca - saw it last night, still says 'pee on'! Reality TV lives!

Subject: RE: BS: Daft Adverts!
From: Mr Happy
Date: 19 Aug 07 - 04:40 AM

Now a face cream's being marketed as containing '15% Oxygen'!!

And the vain nitwits'll all be rushing off to buy it, no doubt!

Subject: RE: BS: Daft Adverts!
From: GUEST,Peter
Date: 16 Aug 07 - 12:29 PM

The "buy on eBay ads seem to have vanished now. The "buy dead dogs on eBay" ad was a running joke at Webmasterworld for a long time.

Subject: RE: BS: Daft Adverts!
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 16 Aug 07 - 08:19 AM

"It's the Blind Man!"

"Hello Missus"...

Subject: RE: BS: Daft Adverts!
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 16 Aug 07 - 08:00 AM

Not an advert and not strictly PC, but I can't help giggling to myself on the Underground train when we stop at King's Cross - near which is the Moorfields Eye hospital and associated institutes.

The automated tannoy announcer carefully intones 'King's Cross - alight here for the National Institute for the Blind'.

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Daft Adverts!
From: autolycus
Date: 15 Aug 07 - 12:49 PM

I think all ads should have all spin removed.





       Ivor

Subject: RE: BS: Daft Adverts!
From: Cluin
Date: 15 Aug 07 - 12:39 PM

"HEADON!!! APPLY DIRECTLY TO THE FOREHEAD!"

Subject: RE: BS: Daft Adverts!
From: The PA
Date: 15 Aug 07 - 10:44 AM

Shiela's Wheels Car Insurance - They certainly need it, the car is going backwards in the ad.

Subject: RE: BS: Daft Adverts!
From: GUEST,The black belt caterpillar wrestler
Date: 15 Aug 07 - 07:29 AM

Do you remember "Nothing acts faster than Anadin"?
I took nothing of course.

Subject: RE: BS: Daft Adverts!
From: SharonA
Date: 15 Aug 07 - 01:33 AM

Now were they just bold in the beginning, knowing how it would be received and hoping for some notoriety, or were they really that clueless? I believe the former.

Most likely the former. I remember a similar instance from a couple of years ago: a series of ads for Aspercreme (a tube of stuff that you rub into your skin to relieve muscle pains and aches). Each rapid-fire ad presented someone in pain who questioned whether he or she could find relief. A disembodied chorus of men then sang: "You bet your sweet Aspercreme!"

And just in case the listener didn't get the joke from the lyric, it was emphasized in the melody (so so so so SO ti do), where the syllable "ass" was the highest note, an octave higher than "you bet your sweet".

These ads ran on TV and, as I recall, on radio for several weeks until the company received enough complaints about the crudeness of the jingle that it was changed to "you bet if it's Aspercreme". The melody, however, was not changed, so the focus was still on the "ass" (the ass who wrote the jingle, that is!). Made it sound like a hemorrhoid ointment.

Subject: RE: BS: Daft Adverts!
From: Gurney
Date: 15 Aug 07 - 12:49 AM

In an exercise machine ad.
" Goes past parallel!" I think they mean horizontal, rather than into the arctic circle.

"Dozens of car yards, not one the same!" As a ice-cream shop, presumably.


'America's got Talent.' 'Englands got Talent' Talent, yes.
Grammar, no.

Professional advertisers do this for their living!
In the old days (a few years ago) it was often the typesetters who quietly reworded script. Nowadays it goes to press just as the writer wrote.

Subject: RE: BS: Daft Adverts!
From: Becca72
Date: 14 Aug 07 - 01:47 PM

Kind of like the at-home pregnancy test kit that at first stated "the most advanced technology you will ever pee on" that now says "the most advanced technology you will ever....you know"

Subject: RE: BS: Daft Adverts!
From: Cluin
Date: 14 Aug 07 - 01:10 PM

Nestle recently put out a TV ad, showing three young people—2 girls and a guy—standing beside an ice cream cooler in a convenience store. They are all comparing stupidly and loudly which Netsle brand ice cream treat they are craving. I forget what each of the girls were "dreaming" about (Just buy the damn thing! You're right there!) but the guy wants a Drumstick. Apparently they can't see the Nestle Ice Cream fairie hovering over the cooler, magically changing the entire contents of the freezer to reflect the loudly voiced preference of whoever is speaking at the time (like teens speak one at a time). After changing the ice cream freezer 3 times and the guy stating that he STILL feels like a Drumstick, the exasperated magical ice cream fairy (hey, it's a tough job) changes the guy into a giant talking Drumstick. Whereupon the two girls lunge forward and bury their faces in his walnut encrusted "head".

When the commercial first aired, the talking ice cream cone guy laughed and cautioned them, "Girls! Girls! Easy on the nuts!"

They have since changed it in the last couple of weeks to "Whoa! Careful!"

Now where they just bold in the beginning, know how it would be received and hoping for some notoriety, or were they really that clueless? I believe the former.

Subject: RE: BS: Daft Adverts!
From: GUEST,PMB
Date: 14 Aug 07 - 11:08 AM

This Trojan?

Subject: RE: BS: Daft Adverts!
From: SINSULL
Date: 14 Aug 07 - 10:04 AM

I saw my first Trojan ad yesterday - daytime TV. We've come a long way. Wonder if the Pope will excommunicate the network - sorry I don't remember which it was.

Subject: RE: BS: Daft Adverts!
From: frogprince
Date: 14 Aug 07 - 09:38 AM

I guess Subaru has discontinued one ad slogan that I got a kick out of: "Subaru, driven by what's inside"
...as opposed to all those other cars, that are driven by people hanging on outside and reaching in through the window?

Subject: RE: BS: Daft Adverts!
From: Folk Form # 1
Date: 14 Aug 07 - 09:07 AM

Demestos - Kills germs dead!
...as against killing them alive.

Subject: RE: BS: Daft Adverts!
From: Grab
Date: 14 Aug 07 - 09:06 AM

Sunny Delight, right, Snail? Adverts claim that kids love it. Well of course they do - it's all sugar and artificial flavourings!

Subject: RE: BS: Daft Adverts!
From: The PA
Date: 14 Aug 07 - 09:04 AM

Sunny Delight! Is it still on sale ??

Subject: RE: BS: Daft Adverts!
From: Sorcha
Date: 14 Aug 07 - 08:54 AM

Doh....called orange soda pop.

Subject: RE: BS: Daft Adverts!
From: TheSnail
Date: 14 Aug 07 - 08:46 AM

'Made with real fruit!'

There is an orange coloured beverage on sale in UK supermarkets that is reputed to contain no fruit of any sort whatsoever; just artificial sweetener, colouring, flavouring and preservatives.

Subject: RE: BS: Daft Adverts!
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 14 Aug 07 - 08:40 AM

Daft Google adverts, too

currently one of the ads below is for 'Online Fruit Trade & News'

sandra

Subject: RE: BS: Daft Adverts!
From: GUEST,PMB
Date: 14 Aug 07 - 07:36 AM

Trades Descriptions Act- if they said "It makes your hair shine", someone could sue them if their hair doesn't then glow in the dark.

Mango drink (a code word that 'drink') "Made with real fruit" is quite possibly not the same as "made with real mangoes", which are not the only fruit either. See under 'jam'.

And ideal women don't fart, of course.

Subject: BS: Daft Adverts!
From: Mr Happy
Date: 14 Aug 07 - 07:23 AM

A current spate of corny adverts on the telly & other media, packaging etc include these gems:

A hair product: 'Gives light reflecting shine!' – is there any other kind of 'shine'?

Fruit drink label: 'Made with real fruit!' – oh, not imitation fruit then?

Anti-flatulence product: 'We asked real women about [the product]' – not fake women?

And then there's those ludicrous pseudo-scientific names they invent to impress the gullible – 'pro-protein' etc

More?