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Malapropisms
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Subject: RE: Malapropisms From: dick greenhaus Date: 19 Aug 07 - 05:11 PM I recall (with apropriate shudders) the secretary at Monsanto's Plastic and Resins Division who decided that a 40-page report on the rheology of thermosplastics should be on the theology of thermoplastics. Nobody caught it, and it was circulated up through top management. |
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Subject: RE: Malapropisms From: Micca Date: 19 Aug 07 - 06:26 PM Dick, could that be where the Idea of the "Plastic Jesus"came from? |
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Subject: RE: Malapropisms From: Liz the Squeak Date: 19 Aug 07 - 06:43 PM We had the good old 'lying prostate before the Lord' this morning... LTS |
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Subject: RE: Malapropisms From: dulcimer42 Date: 19 Aug 07 - 06:59 PM Then there are the cute ones that come innocently out of the mouths of kids. One of my kindergarten girls told me "A E I O U. My mom's been working on my vowels" Another child heard this and said, "My mom's been working on my bowels too, 'cause I've been constipated." |
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Subject: RE: Malapropisms From: Amos Date: 19 Aug 07 - 07:00 PM It's endemic among prostates that they induce lying of one sort or another, or both. Odd, that. A |
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Subject: RE: Malapropisms From: dulcimer42 Date: 19 Aug 07 - 07:04 PM A couple of other cute kindergarten ones, Jummy told me "My mommie's been sick and I think I'm coming down with it too. It's the testicle flu. It's going around, you know" Another: Jeremy said, "You'll never believe this. The family that lives with us has 3 boys and they all have chicken cox!" Nope, I couldn't believe it! |
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Subject: RE: Malapropisms From: Rog Peek Date: 19 Aug 07 - 07:51 PM dulcimer42's post reminded me of a joke I heard in a Pub in Ireland, told by Ger Collins a well known fiddle player. Not really malapropisms, more a case of euphemisms maybe. Pat Murphy a very shy farmer married Mary Cronin and on the wedding night Pat's shyness got the better of him, so when Mary who'd gone up to bed called to Pat he said he would be up as soon as he'd finished his cigarette. Half an hour passed and Mary again called to Pat. "I'll be up shortly" he said, "I've just got to check on the cows". Anyway, another half hour past and when Mary called, Pat decided he'd have to make the effort, and made his way slowly up to bed. Mary said "Come now Pat, are you going to get undressed or not?" So slowly, Pat began to remove his shoes and socks. When Mary saw Pat's feet, she said "You've the strangest toes Pat, how did they get like that? "Sure" Pat said "I had a bad case of Tolio when I was a small child" "Don't you mean Polio?" she said "Not at all" says he "Me mother definitely said it was Tolio" At that, Pat slowly undid his belt and his trousers fell to the floor. On seeing Pat's knees, Mary exclaimed "You've very strange knees Pat, how did they get like that" "Ah sure" he said "I had a very bad case of neasles when I was a child" "Don't you mean measles?" said Mary "No, no, me mother said it was a very bad case of neasles." Pat replied. "Come on then " Mary said hurry up and get undressed and get into bed." Pat began very slowly to remove his underpants, whereupon Mary began to laugh. "What are you laughing at" said Pat "Well" said Mary "It's very clear to me that as a child, you had a dreadful case of small pox!" |
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Subject: RE: Malapropisms From: katlaughing Date: 19 Aug 07 - 09:11 PM Genie, I know that. I was punning on the previous malapropisms.:-) |
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Subject: RE: Malapropisms From: Genie Date: 20 Aug 07 - 12:37 AM Thanks for setting me straight re "fell swoop," Amos. After my initial befuddlement about the term, I connected it with the verb "to fell," as in "to cut down." Hence my guess that it was from logging (or some other sort of "harvesting"). Like many another etymological theory, it made sense, even if historically incorrecct. :) |
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Subject: RE: Malapropisms From: Genie Date: 20 Aug 07 - 12:41 AM "The power of our elected officials is circumcized by the Constitution." |
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Subject: RE: Malapropisms From: Genie Date: 20 Aug 07 - 12:45 AM Kat, I figured you did know that (it was "fell swoop"). I was basically commenting on how confusing I found the term when I first heard it -- so it's not surprising that SOME people may unwittingly transform it to "one foul swoop," "one full swoop," etc. :) |
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Subject: RE: Malapropisms From: katlaughing Date: 20 Aug 07 - 12:58 AM Ah, thanks, Genie. My youngest daughter used to mix all kinds of things. One I can remember was fitchpork. |
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Subject: RE: Malapropisms From: Liz the Squeak Date: 20 Aug 07 - 02:50 AM If we're going to stray into Spoonerisms... one that has stuck with me for over 25 years... the announcer on Radio 4, warning us of serious delays with flights from Gatport Airwick. We have also had flower derangments at church, the palm of the day and an enquiry sustaining to a wedding. LTS |
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Subject: RE: Malapropisms From: Mr Red Date: 20 Aug 07 - 08:05 AM And I always thought the fell in fell swoop was running down the mountainside (fell) and descending on your enemy having gained the momentum of the slope. And I still think it. |
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Subject: RE: Malapropisms From: Wolfhound person Date: 20 Aug 07 - 09:41 AM I've just remembered: Small daughter to friend at first school "My dad's a lecherer at a perversity" H'm. Paws |
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Subject: RE: Malapropisms From: Liz the Squeak Date: 20 Aug 07 - 10:37 AM We've just received a letter giving a 'signed mandrake'... I guess someone's spell check is at fault. LTS |
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Subject: RE: Malapropisms From: Liz the Squeak Date: 20 Aug 07 - 11:12 AM It's one of those days - tortology now with a signed signature! LTS |
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Subject: RE: Malapropisms From: HouseCat Date: 20 Aug 07 - 01:44 PM I was told just the other day that an aquaintance had received serious "eternal injuries" in a car accident. He didn't die so I guess they're no longer eternal. |
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Subject: RE: Malapropisms From: Bill D Date: 20 Aug 07 - 02:13 PM I shudder at those (usually IN the military) who confuse 'cache' and caché. Even more, I shudder at a TV newsreader who states that some force has "wrecked havoc" on someone or something. There are a couple of ways that 'could' be said ..see here, but wrecked is not one of them. |
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Subject: RE: Malapropisms From: Cluin Date: 20 Aug 07 - 04:13 PM I remember an episode of "All in the Family" where Archie was drunk and dictating his "last will and tentacle" into a tape recorder. |
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Subject: RE: Malapropisms From: Micca Date: 20 Aug 07 - 06:14 PM I knew I'd forgotten one " " He's living in a Menagerie a Trois with 2 women" |
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Subject: RE: Malapropisms From: Joe_F Date: 20 Aug 07 - 11:29 PM Some years ago I heard of a reporter who enlivened the society page of his paper by writing that a marriage had been "consummated on the courthouse steps". (The word he was looking for was "solemnized".) |
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Subject: RE: Malapropisms From: TRUBRIT Date: 21 Aug 07 - 12:32 AM Micca-- I thought it was only my elderly (now deceased) aunt who referred to certificates as - in her case -- 'cusstificates'... |
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Subject: RE: Malapropisms From: Genie Date: 21 Aug 07 - 01:13 AM In a rather famous "blooper" from the early days of TV, a contestant on one of the early game shows was asked what she did for a living. She replied, quite innocently: "I'm a maid and I take care of a large family -- 2 boys, 3 girls, one adult and one adultress." And when I was a child, I used to wonder why "wreckless driving" was considered a bad thing. |
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Subject: RE: Malapropisms From: JennyO Date: 21 Aug 07 - 06:29 AM Quite a few years ago we had a TV soap in Oz called "Number 96" about the residents of a block of flats. One of the characters was Dorrie Evans, a loudmouthed busybody type of person who was well known for her malapropisms and strange made-up words, such as: "It's enough to drive a body beresk." "I prefer to remain ambiguous." "Pardon me for protruding" "Don't cast nasturtiums..." Others I've heard include " I feel like a social piranha", "one foul swoop" (my aunt said that one often), and an intentional one by poet Denis Kevans in his recitation "Concreto" where he says Vasco de Gama "circumcised the world in a Spanish galleon". And I think this one was in one of the Terry Pratchett books - "We've all passed a lot of water since then". |
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Subject: RE: Malapropisms From: JennyO Date: 21 Aug 07 - 08:57 AM I was watching Bargain Hunt on TV just now, when the auctioneer introduced the next item for sale as "Lot number 87 - the monogamy corner chair"! |
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Subject: RE: Malapropisms From: Mr Happy Date: 21 Aug 07 - 09:26 AM On the gameshow 'Catchphrase' a contestant was being given two picture clues, one showing a bottle falling & smashing, & the other of a windmill. The contestant offered first 'Wind' for part of the phrase, following up with 'Break'. The host prompted her by saying "Now put the two together" Her response; 'Break Wind ? |
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Subject: RE: Malapropisms From: HouseCat Date: 21 Aug 07 - 09:48 AM Hiatus hernia Hyena hernia |
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Subject: RE: Malapropisms From: GUEST Date: 21 Aug 07 - 04:17 PM I must admit I am an expert at getting things wrong. I still can't remember if the old fashioned sink is a "dublin sink" or a "belfast" sink!!! Also recently asked if someone's flyers were tat. A friend from school wrote in her exercise book "seedy fences" when the teacher was talking about "sea defences".
-Joe Offer- |
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Subject: RE: Malapropisms From: North/South Annie Date: 22 Aug 07 - 03:17 PM Years ago my Nanna seeing a guy on the beach with binoculars said 'Look at that man looking through his horoscopes!' Also, in an infant class a child anounced to the class that '...the long things sticking out of the snails head are called is testicles!' Annie |
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Subject: RE: Malapropisms From: George Papavgeris Date: 22 Aug 07 - 03:27 PM How about the kid at school stating that his granddad had "Old Timer's Disease?" |
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Subject: RE: Malapropisms From: George Papavgeris Date: 22 Aug 07 - 03:28 PM Or "the effluent society".... or "a fig of my imagination"... |
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Subject: RE: Malapropisms From: RangerSteve Date: 22 Aug 07 - 03:57 PM A western that I read a few years back had a character swear by "Jesus Christ crucified in Calgary". |
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Subject: RE: Malapropisms From: Liz the Squeak Date: 22 Aug 07 - 06:48 PM A song has just been inserted into my memory... 'Unchained Malady'. LTS |
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Subject: RE: Malapropisms From: TheSnail Date: 22 Aug 07 - 07:49 PM Reminds me of Molière's famous play - Le Mallard imaginaire. |
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Subject: RE: Malapropisms From: Ron Davies Date: 22 Aug 07 - 08:44 PM The late (and very lamented) My Music--(I'd be happy to listen to repeats forever)--had a couple of good ones you probably remember, if possibly not proper malapropisms. A boy's favorite part of Messiah: "Come for tea, my people." And an woman asking in a music store for a record for her nephew: "Something about some trouble over in Bridgewater". |
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Subject: RE: Malapropisms From: TheSnail Date: 22 Aug 07 - 09:00 PM A boy's favorite part of Messiah But for the best chorus you only need to omit a word - "We like sheep". |
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Subject: RE: Malapropisms From: Bert Date: 22 Aug 07 - 11:37 PM George P., I seem to recall that the cartoonist Thelwell published a book of cartoons called "The Effluent Society" |
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Subject: RE: Malapropisms From: Genie Date: 23 Aug 07 - 12:49 AM Jenny, you can remain ambiguous if you like. I prefer to remain unanimous. Especially when I'm playing my trampoline in the band. Sometimes it gets so bad they have to send in the Calvary to the rescue. |
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Subject: RE: Malapropisms From: GUEST,Neil Date: 23 Aug 07 - 12:42 PM When I was a teen I asked my mother for a Pink Floyd album for Christmas. She went into the record store and asked if they had any records by Hot Lloyd. The clerk, bless her heart was able to figure it out and sold her "Wish You Were Here". There was a TV Show back in the 70's called "That's Incredible!" A malapropic friend once asked me if I had watched "Thats Incurable" the night before. What do you called a word unintentionally formed from two other words. A different friend used to refer to something shocking as being "notrocious". |
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Subject: RE: Malapropisms From: Wolfhound person Date: 23 Aug 07 - 02:21 PM Ron Davies wrote: "A boy's favorite part of Messiah: "Come for tea, my people." Isn't that a mondegreen?? Paws |
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Subject: RE: Malapropisms From: katlaughing Date: 23 Aug 07 - 02:27 PM Just read this in a sample I was sent to edit: "He raised his hand in a gesture of posthumous thanks." |
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Subject: RE: Malapropisms From: Genie Date: 23 Aug 07 - 04:37 PM Just this morning I heard a talk show caller complain about a TV ad that Bush's former press sec'y Ari Fleisher was running, in which he tries to drum up support for the "surge" in US troops for the 'war' in Iraq. She remarked, wryly, that this ad, which says something about us needing to "send in the Calvary," was being put out by Fleisher, "who is Jewish." When queried about why that was relevant, she said it seemed odd that a Jew would be making such a reference to the crucifixion. Thom tactfully pointed out that he thought Fleisher probably said "cavalry," and the woman sort of pulled an Emily Latella ("Oh, ... well that's different ... never mind.") I realize this is more a matter of dyslexia (or its auditory equivalent) than a true malapropism, but it was still pretty funny. |
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Subject: RE: Malapropisms From: Ron Davies Date: 23 Aug 07 - 10:33 PM OK Wolfhound, you got me. I did say it was possibly not an official malapropism. Truth be told, I just wanted to get a chance to cite it--it's just one of my all-time favorite examples of any form of wordplay. |
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Subject: RE: Malapropisms From: katlaughing Date: 23 Aug 07 - 10:52 PM Guest, Neil, I did this one on purpose because it made my grandson, almost four years old, laugh like crazy: sneezles = sneezing + sniffles (sort of as that was his condition at the time) |
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Subject: RE: Malapropisms From: HouseCat Date: 24 Aug 07 - 09:24 AM Just got this in an inter-office email this morning: "The attitude among our service reps is far too lazy-fair for my tastes." |
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Subject: RE: Malapropisms From: Ron Davies Date: 24 Aug 07 - 10:53 PM House Cat--you really don't think the writer was trying to make a pun? If not a pun, hoo boy--literacy is decaying even faster than we thought. Re: My Music: does anybody know if My Music copies can be obtained? It's the all-time best radio program ever, from my perspective. (Jan does not agree). |
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Subject: RE: Malapropisms From: HouseCat Date: 25 Aug 07 - 12:12 PM Nah, Ron. The guy who sent that memo really is an idiot. ;~) |
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Subject: RE: Malapropisms From: Genie Date: 25 Aug 07 - 12:37 PM Then there was the kid who told his teacher his doctor said he had "sick-as-hell anemia." (I know, I know. It's a mondegreen, not a malapropism. But it' one o' mah fav'rits.) |
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Subject: RE: Malapropisms From: Geordie-Peorgie Date: 25 Aug 07 - 04:50 PM Many years ago me Ma was stayin' at wor hoose and decided te mek pizza. She had aall the ingredients except one - She needed some origami te sprinkle on the top! And did yez knaah... A pigment of your imagination will sometimes colour your judgement!? |
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