BS: The vicar has corrupted my pussy

Subject: BS: The vicar has corrupted my pussy
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 30 Aug 07 - 09:24 AM

The vicar kindly 'catsat' for us whilst we were at Towersey festival last weekend and he's corrupted my little Raven Kitty. The damned animal won't leave me alone! He's never been a lap cat, but suddenly after a weekend with the vicar, he is barely more than an arms length from me.

It's not the first time I've left him for a week or so... it's not even the first time this year! If I get up for a bathroom break, he jumps in my seat, if I'm typing here, he'll sit on my wrists and he's spent longer in my lap this past 3 days than he has his entire 2 years here!

I'm wondering what the vicar has done to my little pussycat. I thought he was a nice chap, just the sort to help a parishoner out, he only asked for a bottle of red wine as payment (others choose gin...), but my pusscat is completely changed.

The other cat crapped everywhere and peed in my school governors file but she was doing that before we left so no change there.

I'm very confused now.. but quite grateful - I like this new lap-sitting kitty, makes me feel all warm and fuzzy.

Maybe it's the cheap cat food...

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: The vicar has corrupted my pussy
From: Big Al Whittle
Date: 30 Aug 07 - 09:39 AM

I dunno, with some people its all tits and pussy.......

Subject: RE: BS: The vicar has corrupted my pussy
From: Amos
Date: 30 Aug 07 - 09:44 AM

That's right, blame the vicar for what is happening with your own pussy. Come on,Liz, take some responsibility. Who decided to let the wicked vicar get his hands on your pussy in the first place?


A

Subject: RE: BS: The vicar has corrupted my pussy
From: Megan L
Date: 30 Aug 07 - 10:05 AM

Liz that one is going in Granny Doms wee black book oh boy will you be in bother. :-)

Subject: RE: BS: The vicar has corrupted my pussy
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 30 Aug 07 - 10:07 AM

Have I been a bad, bad girl?

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: The vicar has corrupted my pussy
From: Amos
Date: 30 Aug 07 - 10:08 AM

Probably not, but you sure talk like one....



A

Subject: RE: BS: The vicar has corrupted my pussy
From: artbrooks
Date: 30 Aug 07 - 10:12 AM

Next time ask the vicar to take care of what's-his-name...

Subject: RE: BS: The vicar has corrupted my pussy
From: Bee
Date: 30 Aug 07 - 10:19 AM

I'm shocked, Liz, shocked! And a vicar, to boot!

Then again, they're cats. Unfathomable.

Me, I'm suffering from a kitty dilemma. I cannot have another cat. My one year old neutered fella is in and out during the day and in before dark. A lady about a half km. from here has been feeding a few ferals for a couple years, and has not had them fixed; just gives away as many kittens as she can, not an ideal situation, but not a problem for me until now.

One of those kittens (I think it's one of hers, haven't been able to get her on the phone) started visiting here two weeks ago. Can't be more than three-four months old, tiny, white with grey tail and forehead marks, fluffy, little sweet pointy face, absolutely appealing. It has fallen in love with my boy, follows him around like a puppy, puts up with all manner of indignities. I can't get near it, but if I leave the door open and move to another room, it sneaks in and makes a beeline for the catfood. It disappears for several days and then comes back. Two nights this week, when I brought mine in, it sat outside the patio door and cried for hours, only letting up when my fella would nose her(?) through the screen.

Coyotes will have this little thing sooner than later, so I'm trying to convince someone to take it, or else I might have to get it 65 km. to the nearest shelter - but I'd really like to talk to the cat lady first. This little critter is breaking my heart.

Anybody wanna cat?

Subject: RE: BS: The vicar has corrupted my pussy
From: Anne Lister
Date: 30 Aug 07 - 11:29 AM

Love to help, Bee, but a few clues in your message indicate you're a few thousand miles away.

I'm wanting advice from any of you feline shrinks about what to do with our cat, who will hardly ever eat cat food when I'm around (because she expects better from me in the way of scraps). She follows me everywhere, looking as cute and pleading as possible, and when I fill her bowl with really good quality cat food she looks at it disdainfully and walks off. And she's really thin, too. If I'm away, she'll eat whatever my husband puts down for her, and yesterday she must have been ravenous because she ate four pouches of cat food. Today, though, we're back to the "What have you given that to me for? Do you think I'm a cat?" expression.

Oh, and to add insult to injury, we appear to have some rodents who are stealing her food from her bowl. Does she hunt them? Hah. ("Do you think I'm a cat? Hunt them yourself.")

Subject: RE: BS: The vicar has corrupted my pussy
From: lady penelope
Date: 30 Aug 07 - 11:42 AM

'Ere Liz, maybe it's Raven's way of saying "Don't let the Vicar near me again, I promise I'll be good...." I mean, all cats are pagan, right? *G*

As for a cat that refuses to take food from one person in particular, I'm stumped. The only thing I can think of is that you can never feed her scraps again. That and your husband is in for a chore for the length of the cats life..... Wish I could be of more help Tabster.

Subject: RE: BS: The vicar has corrupted my pussy
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 30 Aug 07 - 11:50 AM

The thoughts of your pussy having learnt to position itself on the vicars lap........well...say no more.....at least if you can't see your tits any more you can still at least stroke your pussy Liz.

Subject: RE: BS: The vicar has corrupted my pussy
From: Becca72
Date: 30 Aug 07 - 11:50 AM

Somehow I knew this was Liz even before I opened the thread...

Tabster...no more scraps. It's not good for the little dear anyway. Funny thing about cats is, they'll eat when hungry enough. If hubby doesn't mind, make him the primary feeder.

Subject: RE: BS: The vicar has corrupted my pussy
From: David C. Carter
Date: 30 Aug 07 - 12:05 PM

I wouldn,t let no vicar near my favorite lap-sitting pussy,no way!

Anyway,my wife always brings it with us on holiday!

Subject: RE: BS: The vicar has corrupted my pussy
From: WFDU - Ron Olesko
Date: 30 Aug 07 - 12:23 PM

You Brits seem to have an unusual preoccupation with this sort of thing.

Subject: RE: BS: The vicar has corrupted my pussy
From: lady penelope
Date: 30 Aug 07 - 12:29 PM

Tis true. Can't deny it. The British do seem to thrive on double or even single entendres..... Smut, it's our heritage and we're proud of it!

Subject: RE: BS: The vicar has corrupted my pussy
From: Bee
Date: 30 Aug 07 - 12:36 PM

"Nudge nudge, wink wink!"

Subject: RE: BS: The vicar has corrupted my pussy
From: WFDU - Ron Olesko
Date: 30 Aug 07 - 01:23 PM

I'm reminded of the old Saturday Night Live routine that had a couple who only talked in double entrende. When it came time to do something about it, they had no concept of what to do.

Subject: RE: BS: The vicar has corrupted my pussy
From: katlaughing
Date: 30 Aug 07 - 04:00 PM

Probably nothing to do with the vicar and everything to do with he missed you and is trying to ensure you will never, ever leave his side again!

Tabster, Becca is right. No more scraps and don't fret if she goes without for a few days. Cats can be very stubborn, esp. if they think they can have their way with you through guile and pitiful actions! YOU have to be MORE stubborn. I know, in my lifetime I've been owned by no less than thirty cats throughout the years!

Subject: RE: BS: The vicar has corrupted my pussy
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 30 Aug 07 - 04:09 PM

You would not think that cats and dog-collars would be compatible would you?

Subject: RE: BS: The vicar has corrupted my pussy
From: Joe Offer
Date: 30 Aug 07 - 04:12 PM

What IS that Liz going to come up with next?

I dunno, though. The thread titles have lots of promise, but the contents leave something to be desired....

-Joe-

Subject: RE: BS: The vicar has corrupted my pussy
From: Little Hawk
Date: 30 Aug 07 - 04:15 PM

Are you quite sure that you're not related to Olive Whatnoll, Liz?

Subject: RE: BS: The vicar has corrupted my pussy
From: autolycus
Date: 30 Aug 07 - 04:30 PM

It's interesting how women like cats.

Let's see. cats sleep all day, disappear all night, can't be called to their food unless they're hungry, can't be told, do what they like, only take affection when they want, lie about in the most inconvenient places, walk all over the kitchen tops ----- all the things, in other words, that women can't stand in men.





      Ivor

Subject: RE: BS: The vicar has corrupted my pussy
From: Metchosin
Date: 30 Aug 07 - 04:36 PM

Liz, it would seem that your pussy suffered from some sort of separation anxiety. Perhaps if you gave it a few strokes it would allieviate its fears and give it some assurance that all is well again.

Subject: RE: BS: The vicar has corrupted my pussy
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 30 Aug 07 - 04:39 PM

I guess they don't even put the toilet seat down....or put the top back on the toothpaste......they lick their own backsides and then lick you!.YUK!........

Subject: RE: BS: The vicar has corrupted my pussy
From: Little Hawk
Date: 30 Aug 07 - 04:44 PM

Something that men might do too...were they flexible enough to manage it!

Subject: RE: BS: The vicar has corrupted my pussy
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 30 Aug 07 - 04:48 PM

Or were paid enough... it's amazing how flexible a person can be when the price is high enough.

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: The vicar has corrupted my pussy
From: Herga Kitty
Date: 30 Aug 07 - 05:01 PM

Liz - I look forward to having an interesting conversation about the flexibility of your pussy (and possibly tits) with you and Cats at the Wail!

Kitty

Subject: RE: BS: The vicar has corrupted my pussy
From: Little Hawk
Date: 30 Aug 07 - 05:07 PM

Shane is getting quite upset about you, Liz.

"First she can't find her own flippin' tits! Now the vicar's been corruptin' her pussy! Holy flip! This babe needs help, man, in the worst flippin' way. Are they really that stoopid in England??? I mean, this is Skank City, eh? Holy flip!"

Subject: RE: BS: The vicar has corrupted my pussy
From: lady penelope
Date: 30 Aug 07 - 05:59 PM

LOL!

Subject: RE: BS: The vicar has corrupted my pussy
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 30 Aug 07 - 06:16 PM

Lizzes tits and pussy have now gained worldwide notoriety. Not many can lay claim to this!

Subject: RE: BS: The vicar has corrupted my pussy
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 30 Aug 07 - 06:41 PM

I'm glad Liz started this thread. I'll be sure to never leave my cats in care of a vicar. Of course, that won't be too difficult since I don't know any vicars. In fact, I don't think we have vicars in the US. We have scupernongs. Maybe the scupernongs scared the vicars off.

Subject: RE: BS: The vicar has corrupted my pussy
From: CET
Date: 30 Aug 07 - 06:41 PM

Bee, is there really no room for another cat in your establishment? Looks like you've been selected, as we were by our resident tomcat. If your number 1 cat gets on OK with the new one...?

Subject: RE: BS: The vicar has corrupted my pussy
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 30 Aug 07 - 07:32 PM

Paging Dawn French. . . paging Dawn French. . .

Subject: RE: BS: The vicar has corrupted my pussy
From: Little Hawk
Date: 30 Aug 07 - 07:47 PM

Omigod. Lord protect us.

Subject: RE: BS: The vicar has corrupted my pussy
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 30 Aug 07 - 08:02 PM

I can sympathize. My Uncle Charles'cock has always been as dependable as the tides. This rooster was always up at the crack of dawn, and safely in the coop at sunset. Or at least that's the way it was until he left him with the school mistress next door. By the time he had returned some 9 days later, my Uncle discovered the rooster was never up before ten and could be found slumped over and senseless in the henyard at all hours of the night. The school ma'rm pleaded innocence, of course, only admitting to slapping him around a bit when he would follow his usual practice of eagerly popping up at around 4 am.
But as far as being affectionate, that is far from the case with this particular rooster. He has a bad temperament and is notorious as a vicious pecker. He has always been unpredictable, uncontrollable, and disobedient, and it sounds as though my uncle's cock could certainly learn a thing or two from your pussy!

Subject: RE: BS: The vicar has corrupted my pussy
From: Little Hawk
Date: 30 Aug 07 - 08:15 PM

Good God. It's getting worse.

Subject: RE: BS: The vicar has corrupted my pussy
From: katlaughing
Date: 30 Aug 07 - 09:07 PM

LOL with LeeJ!

Subject: RE: BS: The vicar has corrupted my pussy
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 30 Aug 07 - 09:10 PM

Has anybody seen Mike Hunt?

Subject: RE: BS: The vicar has corrupted my pussy
From: Bee
Date: 30 Aug 07 - 09:12 PM

My Lord, is it gittin' hot in here?

CET, I shall ensure the kitty's future one way or another - though I haven't seen it since yesterday morning now - I'm hoping it went back to wherever its mother is, but we shall see.

Man I hate people who abandon pets to the wilds, to die or breed.

Subject: RE: BS: The vicar has corrupted my pussy
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 30 Aug 07 - 10:15 PM

Looking carefully at the thread title for some time, it dawned slowly on me that there could only be 'corruption' if something was used 'for improper purposes'...

i.e. a 'purpose for which it was not designed/intended'...

Subject: RE: BS: The vicar has corrupted my pussy
From: Bert
Date: 30 Aug 07 - 11:58 PM

Seriously though, there is a way to deal with the over affectionate pussy. You know, the one who wakes you up at 2:30 in the morning and demands attention. Often by presenting it's arse in your face.

Counterattact is the remedy. Hold the beast down and start with the cat massage therapy, whether it likes it or not.

Start with a good neck massage, then massage the face muscles, then go down the back, tail and legs. Don't be faint hearted, the beast needs a good healthy massage. Repeat until the cat cries "Uncle".

It will like it at first but will soon find that beng held down is not really what it wants, then it will leave.

The only drawback with this method is that the pussy will enjoy it at first, and will soon come back for more. But it might give you a couple of hours more sleep.

Subject: RE: BS: The vicar has corrupted my pussy
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 31 Aug 07 - 12:57 AM

Like you Becca, I knew who started this thread!

sandra

Subject: RE: BS: The vicar has corrupted my pussy
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 31 Aug 07 - 02:33 AM

I can't believe you would think this of poor, innocent little me!!

Can I help it if the word 'cat' fell off the title bar? It only holds so much you know!

LTS
















: )

Subject: RE: BS: The vicar has corrupted my pussy
From: Wilfried Schaum
Date: 31 Aug 07 - 03:34 AM

Having studied theology for some years I'd never trust a young vicar with a bottle of wine and a pussy at hand ...

Subject: RE: BS: The vicar has corrupted my pussy
From: Herga Kitty
Date: 31 Aug 07 - 04:46 AM

Bee-dubya-ell's post at 9.10 yesterday reminded me of BBC Radio 4's Radio Active series - about a fictional radio station, with reporters called Mike Flex, Mike Channel, Mike Hunt, Uncle Mike Stand and Anna Daptor. (And Martin Brown, of course.)

http://www.britishcomedy.org.uk/comedy/radioactive.htm

I'm shocked to discover how long ago the original broadcasts were!

Kitty

Subject: RE: BS: The vicar has corrupted my pussy
From: MBSLynne
Date: 31 Aug 07 - 05:13 AM

I saw the title of the thread and thought "That's GOT to be Liz!"

Love Lynne

Subject: RE: BS: The vicar has corrupted my pussy
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 31 Aug 07 - 09:13 PM

"Can I help it if the word 'cat' fell off the title bar? It only holds so much you know!"

And one's mind can only hold so much at once.... :-P

Subject: RE: BS: The vicar has corrupted my pussy
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 01 Sep 07 - 07:19 AM

Unless you're just a 'pussy'

Subject: RE: BS: The vicar has corrupted my pussy
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 01 Sep 07 - 07:34 AM

Just a thought Liz, it could be the smell...


No, no matter how I try to re phrase that, they just won't let it go...

Subject: RE: BS: The vicar has corrupted my pussy
From: GUEST,Cruz
Date: 01 Sep 07 - 11:28 PM

"It only holds so much you know!"

As always when reading Lizzie's T&P threads (we have been spared the T&A threads thus far probably because Liz does not have a jack-azz in her backyard zoo with her pussies and tits), I am principally interested in the purely scientific/anatomical aspects of her exploits while disregarding the pejorative vulgarities. Therefore, are vestibular cavities less spacious in old England than they are in the Americas? Or do the rugae just exhibit greater density thereby limiting volumetric capacities?

I do have a general question regarding the common vernaculars of old England. I am not for sure and for certain what a vicar is, so I looked it up. It has been said that scumbag Mr. Clinton used a cigar in a, well you know (t)what, during an Oval Office extracurricular session and I was wondering if Liz is in fact a misspelling dyslexic and she meant cigar instead of vicar? I can understand how a cigar could corrupt such a structure, a la Clinton's insertion technique, but not how an ecclesiastical, most likely celibate and saintly vicar could, especially if he was a Roman Catholic altar boy-liking vigar, er, vicar (see how easy that mistake was)

In the English language, c and v and g are similar phonetically: cee vee gee. Therefore:

Liz, this is a test: can you distinguish the differences between:

dog and god? cig and vic? or cog and vog? or vig and vic? or gov and...?

Lizzie, Liz, Liz, what ARE we going to do with you young lady?