Lyr Req: Hundreds or Less

Subject: Hundreds or less
From: Morticia
Date: 04 Feb 02 - 02:27 PM

This parody , in the DT click here came up in the last Stony Stratford thread and I thought what a shame it was that it was so short, so I've had a bash at writing new verses...not convinced by the last verse though....anyone got a better ending?
^^
Hundreds or Less
(Morticia)

I wear high-heeled shoes and a bright scarlet dress
And I'll take them all off for a hundred or less

I stick on my pasties with an air of resolve
For a fifty quid note you can see them revolve

My pet's name is Fluffy, and here's a new take
He stands quite still and I dance round the snake

It's a noble profession, yet some think us whores
Though I'll dance around my snake, I won't dance round yours

I see you're excited, but I'm wed, so beware
To the bouncer who's ten feet and covered in hair

The last chap that chanced it, my husband did deck
Then he tore off his head and he spit down his neck

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Hundreds or less
From: GUEST
Date: 04 Feb 02 - 02:33 PM

Great stuff, Terri!

Damn shame that you're already marrried :-(

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Hundreds or less
From: Jacob B
Date: 05 Feb 02 - 11:56 AM

Years ago I knew a full length parody of Drive Sorrows Away. It parodied the original line for line. As I recall one of the lines went

Bright Phoebe awoke and looked high in the sky
When a bird flew right over and pooped in her eye

Anyone remember the rest of that version?

Jacob

Subject: Lyr Add: HUNDREDS OR LESS (Roberts/Barrand/Killen)
From: Anglo
Date: 05 Feb 02 - 11:37 PM

I'm afraid, Jacob, you're referring to a song also titled "Hundreds or Less" written, so to speak, by John Roberts, Tony Barrand and Louis Killen at the Kent State Folk Festival, Kent Ohio, in 1973 or so. There are some local references, spatial and temporal. It has been sung to the Coppers.
^^
Hundreds or Less
(John Roberts, Tony Barrand and Louis Killen)

The time passes over more solemn and drear
Since we found that they serve only 3.2 beer.

Bright Phoebe awoke so high up in the sky
When a crow flew right over and pooped in my eye.

If you ask for my credit cards you'll find I have nine
But there's no gas to buy with them most of the time.

You can tell I'm not rich by the way that I dress
But I'll take off my clothing for hundreds or less.

---

Threads combined. Messages below are from a new thread.
-Joe Offer-

Subject: Lyr Req: Hundreds or less
From: skipy
Date: 22 Oct 07 - 03:50 PM

HUNDREDS OR LESS

I wear high-heeled shoes,
And a bright scarlet dress,
And I take them all off
For hundreds or less.

Anyone got the rest of this?
Skipy

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Hundreds or less
From: Peace
Date: 22 Oct 07 - 04:08 PM

As far as I know, that's all she wrote, skipy.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Hundreds or less
From: lady penelope
Date: 22 Oct 07 - 04:09 PM

Funnily enough, I sang this one this weekend.....

Penned by our own Morticia

A Hundred Or Less (Tune – Thousands Or More)

I wear high heeled shoes and a bright scarlet dress
And I'll take them all off for a hundred or less

I stick on my pasties with an air of resolve
For a fifty quid note you can see them revolve

My pet's name is Fluffy and here's a new take
He stands quite still and I dance round the snake

It's a noble profession, yet some think us whores
Though I'll dance around my snake, I won't dance round yours

I see you're excited, but I'm wed so beware
To the bouncer who's ten feet and covered in hair

The last chap who chanced it, my husband did deck
Then he tore of his head and he spit down his neck

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Hundreds or less
From: Peace
Date: 22 Oct 07 - 04:17 PM

It is then a LYRIC ADD. The DT shows only one stanza.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Hundreds or less
From: Joe Offer
Date: 22 Oct 07 - 06:47 PM

I thought I'd better combine these threads to eliminate confusion. The one-verse version in the Digital Tradition was penned by "anonymous." Morticia found it lacking, so she added verses.
I think she did a damn good job.
Well, and so did Anglo.
-Joe-

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Hundreds or less
From: Peace
Date: 22 Oct 07 - 06:49 PM

I hear that. Thanks.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Hundreds or less
From: skipy
Date: 22 Oct 07 - 07:17 PM

Thanks Joe
Skipy

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Hundreds or Less
From: GUEST,Celtaddict
Date: 15 Dec 18 - 11:59 AM

I recently heard a different parody of this song. I liked the words better and they followed the original more closely. Parts were “Although I’m not rich, you can tell by my dress, I’m as happy as those who have hundreds or less” and “if you ask for my credit you ‘lol find I have none; the bank cut it off ‘cause I’m so overdrawn” — does anyone know the rest?

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Hundreds or Less
From: GUEST,Brian Grayson
Date: 18 Dec 18 - 07:47 AM

The time passes slowly
More peaceful each day
Since we've learned a new song
To drive thousands away

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Hundreds or Less
From: Black belt caterpillar wrestler
Date: 21 Dec 18 - 07:24 AM

HOWITZERS OR MORE/SWALLOWS AWAY.

Time passes slowly, more pleasant each day
Since I bought a new gun to drive swallows away,
Swallows away, swallows away, swallows away,
Since I bought a new gun to drive swallows away.

Bright Phoebus she rises, the larks they fly high,
Then I'm out with my gun, for I like a lark pie.

Each bright summer's morning I go out with my gun,
For shooting small songbirds is my kind of fun.

Now I am well known and a notoriety,
Since I became the scourge of the R.S.P.B.

I am content with my trusty twelve bore,
I'm as happy as those that's got howitzers or more.

Reconstructed from being heard in the Middle Bar of the Anchor at Sidmouth in about 1986.

Robin