The perfect woman?

Subject: The perfect woman?
From: Richard Bridge
Date: 11 Nov 07 - 09:29 AM

After Azizi's "Arse" thread, I thought I might mention that I did just about see my perfect woman on TV the other night - the news piece about the restoration of the Ming (or was it not Ming?) vases that had been shattered to myriads of pieces when a museum visitor allegedly tripped over thier own shoelaces and hurtled down a stairwell onto a set of very valuable early Chinese porcelain vases which for some reason were totally unprotected on an open shelf.

And there she was! Not too young, not too old, looked fairly tall and slim, clean-cut features, not too much makeup, not overdone in any way, and a beautiful beautiful speaking voice with a top-drawer (but not overdone) English accent, a very British sense of self-effacement in her choice of words.

Ho hum. Out of my price bracket I expect.

Subject: RE: The perfect woman?
From: Richard Bridge
Date: 11 Nov 07 - 09:30 AM

Damn, that should have been BS. Can a Mudelf please fix?

Subject: RE: The perfect woman?
From: Bert
Date: 11 Nov 07 - 10:33 AM

Tree.

Subject: RE: The perfect woman?
From: bobad
Date: 11 Nov 07 - 10:41 AM

William Wordsworth. 1770–1850

Perfect Woman

SHE was a phantom of delight        
When first she gleam'd upon my sight;        
A lovely apparition, sent        
To be a moment's ornament;        
Her eyes as stars of twilight fair;                 5
Like twilight's, too, her dusky hair;        
But all things else about her drawn        
From May-time and the cheerful dawn;        
A dancing shape, an image gay,        
To haunt, to startle, and waylay.         10

I saw her upon nearer view,        
A Spirit, yet a Woman too!        
Her household motions light and free,        
And steps of virgin liberty;        
A countenance in which did meet         15
Sweet records, promises as sweet;        
A creature not too bright or good        
For human nature's daily food;        
For transient sorrows, simple wiles,        
Praise, blame, love, kisses, tears, and smiles.         20

And now I see with eye serene        
The very pulse of the machine;        
A being breathing thoughtful breath,        
A traveller between life and death;        
The reason firm, the temperate will,         25
Endurance, foresight, strength, and skill;        
A perfect Woman, nobly plann'd,        
To warn, to comfort, and command;        
And yet a Spirit still, and bright        
With something of angelic light.

Subject: RE: The perfect woman?
From: Bobert
Date: 11 Nov 07 - 10:53 AM

Well, given my past observations about women and wiring problems I guess that we men just have to accept them for what they are, and that means, ahhhhh, imperfect... But, hey, within those confines I believe there can be the "perfect woman"...

I have met many of them over the years only to have them slip from *perfect* to *perfect minus*... I have actually married 2 "perfect women" who slipped even further down the scale but must say that the P-Vine still holds up well as the "perfect woman*...

(You are a wuss, Bobert...)

That's my story...

B~

p.s. I would be remiss if I didn't also note that I find it unfathomable that all the Mudwomenz fall in the "perfect woman" category... A couple even "perfect-plus women" and you all know who you are...

Subject: RE: The perfect woman?
From: Bee
Date: 11 Nov 07 - 11:39 AM

I myself am a perfect woman. At least, my husband is too cowardly to suggest otherwise. >;-D

Subject: RE: The perfect woman?
From: Richard Bridge
Date: 11 Nov 07 - 11:41 AM

Gosh! Why do those poets want virgins? Seems rather defeatist to me.....

Subject: RE: The perfect woman?
From: Bill D
Date: 11 Nov 07 - 11:52 AM

Perfect?

insert here: 27 paragraph list of features, complete with charts, disclaimers, examples, variations and cowardly explanations.

There...I hope THAT's all clear.

Subject: RE: The perfect woman?
From: Bill D
Date: 11 Nov 07 - 11:56 AM

(and I am reminded of an old saying: "Guys...if you want to marry a virgin, leave some!")

Subject: RE: The perfect woman?
From: Janie
Date: 11 Nov 07 - 12:00 PM

All women are perfect. We try to hide that fact, however, to protect the fragile egos of all you imperfect men:>)

Subject: RE: The perfect woman?
From: jacqui.c
Date: 11 Nov 07 - 12:06 PM

My husband keeps saying that I am the almost perfect partner. Hope fully that does not mean that I am perfect - that would not make me feel good.

























Perfectly evil - in a nice way - would be fine though.

Subject: RE: The perfect woman?
From: Bill D
Date: 11 Nov 07 - 12:47 PM

"All women are perfect, We try to hide that fact, however..."...except some hide it WAY better than others.

And any intelligent man treats each one as if she were perfect while he is near her.

Subject: RE: The perfect woman?
From: Amos
Date: 11 Nov 07 - 12:50 PM

I'd like to meet a man so perfect himself that he would even be able to recognize a perfect woman if she walked up and bit his nose.


A

Subject: RE: The perfect woman?
From: Amergin
Date: 11 Nov 07 - 01:00 PM

A perfect woman would be one who stayed behind and cleaned and cooked and tended the kids....while I went out to the pub....and not beat me up afterwards.

Subject: RE: The perfect woman?
From: dick greenhaus
Date: 11 Nov 07 - 01:09 PM

PERFECT WOMAN

No perfect woman lives, so poor a thing is life
How can a perfect man obtain a perfect wife?
No perfect woman lives. And yet
So rich a thing is life that every perfect man can get
A perfect woman for his wife, a perfect woman for his wife.

@round
filename[ PERFWOM
TUNE FILE: PERFWOM
CLICK TO PLAY
RG

A very nice round. Tune by someone named L. Von Beethoven

Subject: RE: The perfect woman?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 Nov 07 - 03:02 PM

Each woman is perfect...in her own way.

Some are perfectly awful! ;-) Others are perfectly delightful.

Winona is almost perfect as far as I'm concerned...but she smokes. Well, she's still perfect as Winona.

Subject: RE: The perfect woman?
From: autolycus
Date: 11 Nov 07 - 04:57 PM

Why do so many profess such distaste for imperfection?


    Ivor

Subject: RE: The perfect woman?
From: frogprince
Date: 11 Nov 07 - 05:03 PM

My gal may not be perfect, but parts of her are excellent...

Subject: RE: The perfect woman?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 Nov 07 - 05:07 PM

"Why do so many profess such distaste for imperfection?"

It makes them feel inadequate.

Subject: RE: The perfect woman?
From: Richard Bridge
Date: 11 Nov 07 - 05:23 PM

That is a maHUSIVE non-sequitur

Subject: RE: The perfect woman?
From: michaelr
Date: 11 Nov 07 - 07:58 PM

Perfection is boring!

But really, c'mon, every guy knows that the perfect woman stands 3 feet tall, the top of her head is flat, and she owns a liquor store.

Cheers,
Michael

Subject: RE: The perfect woman?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 Nov 07 - 09:41 PM

Sounds like the perfect partner for a perfect idiot! ;-)

Subject: RE: The perfect woman?
From: Midchuck
Date: 11 Nov 07 - 09:57 PM

michaelr - You forgot: no teeth.

P.

Subject: RE: The perfect woman?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 Nov 07 - 11:14 PM

He just didn't dare say it, that's all.

Subject: RE: The perfect woman?
From: Dave Hanson
Date: 12 Nov 07 - 03:11 AM

Perfect woman ? a deaf mute nymphomaniac who owns a brewery a distillery and five miles of the River Tay.

eric

Subject: RE: The perfect woman?
From: Amos
Date: 12 Nov 07 - 10:11 AM

This has degenerated dramatically; we are no longer talking about women, but about bizarre fantasies that haunt the imaginations of bitter men.


A

Subject: RE: The perfect woman?
From: JeZeBeL
Date: 12 Nov 07 - 10:55 AM

I think there is something wrong....you said A and woman...


it should eb plural not singular....because we are all perfect....

God had a practice run...remember Adam.....hence why all men are imperfect and all women are perfect in every way....

I dare a man to say otherwise lol

Subject: RE: The perfect woman?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 12 Nov 07 - 11:21 AM

They're both perfect and imperfect in every way. Just depends on what one had in mind.

Subject: RE: The perfect woman?
From: Midchuck
Date: 12 Nov 07 - 11:31 AM

I deny being bitter.

I admit having fantasies.

I am aware that they're fantasies. That puts me ahead of a lot of people, including most politicians (of both sides).

Peter.

Subject: RE: The perfect woman?
From: The PA
Date: 12 Nov 07 - 11:33 AM

Perfect woman, Easy - Me.

Work hard without complaining, drive carefully, do all the washing, ironing, shopping, cooking, cleaning, gardening, care for the family, have all the family over for christmas, book and pay for holidays days/nights out and drive so that other half can have a drink. I'm slim, attractive and never been known to have moods!

Yeh, believe that lot and you'll believe anything! Now my husband, on the other hand, really does believe he's perfect ...............

Subject: RE: The perfect woman?
From: autolycus
Date: 12 Nov 07 - 01:00 PM

The desire for perfection is the worst disease that ever afflicted the human mind.    Louis Fontanes to Napoleon, 1804.

   A moment of splendour is worth reams of perfection. D.H.L.

   Striving for perfection is unhealthy. Helen McLean, my Gestalt trainer, 1999.


   The only perfection I might aim towards is being perfectly real.

   Perfection is non-existent, a very wild goosechase and striving for it causes any amount of unhappiness.


   improving is different.

       Ivor

Subject: RE: The perfect woman?
From: sian, west wales
Date: 12 Nov 07 - 02:31 PM

As I have told my godchildren - I do not wish to be a Shining Example; I prefer to be a Dire Warning.

sian

Subject: RE: The perfect woman?
From: jacqui.c
Date: 12 Nov 07 - 03:18 PM

Quite right sian.

Subject: RE: The perfect woman?
From: skipy
Date: 12 Nov 07 - 04:13 PM

I married her! Well that's what she would say!
She's not at all bad really, bright, hardworking, beautiful, caring, and a fine mother! Oh! & did I mention just the right shape!
Gets randy once in a while! But you can't have everything!
Skipy

Subject: RE: The perfect woman?
From: GUEST,Slag
Date: 12 Nov 07 - 04:54 PM

I searched most of my life for the perfect woman and then one day I found her. Alas! She was looking for the perfect man.

Perfection in the Biblical sense means complete or completed. Have you seen any completed women lately? Completely WHAT? Finished, faceted, faultless, non-alliterative? And finally, graveyards are full of completed people. They are done. So forget about perfection, completion. That's coming eventually. Enjoy the ride, be happy with who you are and who you're with. That's my idea of perfection.

Slag (please don't erase this Joe)

Subject: RE: The perfect woman?
From: Q (Frank Staplin)
Date: 12 Nov 07 - 06:12 PM

The last perfect woman died at the end of the 19th century. Harrumpf!

Subject: RE: The perfect woman?
From: autolycus
Date: 13 Nov 07 - 05:53 PM

See no.21 in Beth Parkes's list that begins the 'knowledge and Maturity' thread.

    Ivor

Subject: RE: The perfect woman?
From: Sam Hudson
Date: 14 Nov 07 - 02:35 AM

All women are fallen angels.

Some, of course, make better landings.

Subject: RE: The perfect woman?
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 16 Nov 07 - 09:19 PM

I'd like to meet a man so perfect himself that he would even be able to recognize a perfect woman if she walked up and bit his nose.

Any woman who walks up and bites a man on the nose is NOT perfect. In fact, she's probably going to spend ninety days in jail for aggrevated assault.

Subject: RE: The perfect woman?
From: Joe_F
Date: 17 Nov 07 - 08:25 PM

"Have you ever gone to bed with a perfect stranger?"
"Dahling, nobody's perfect."
-- Attributed, like many things, to Tallulah Bankhead

Subject: RE: The perfect woman?
From: Dave Hanson
Date: 18 Nov 07 - 03:36 AM

I've never been to bed with an ugly woman.....................but I've woken up with a few.

eric

Subject: RE: The perfect woman?
From: Jerry Rasmussen
Date: 18 Nov 07 - 01:10 PM

Sorry fellers, I married her.

Jerry