Lachrymose balladeering

Subject: Lachrymose balladeering
From: Newport Boy
Date: 20 Nov 07 - 06:17 AM

Today's "Notes & Queries" in the Guardian includes:

"For centuries, Celtic farmers kept a ham in the rafters and cut off slices as needed through the winter. So why does a packet of ham now say 'Eat within two days of opening'?"

One of the replies, from Mike Hine, Kingston, Surrey (always identify your sources) says:

"Because failure to do so could lead to a revival of the taste for polytheistic religion, mournful pipe music and lachrymose balladeering when drunk."

Is this a fair portrayal of Celtic culture, or should we forcibly 're-educate' him?

Phil

Subject: RE: Lachrymose balladeering
From: redsnapper
Date: 20 Nov 07 - 06:20 AM

Which particular "Celtic" would that be I wonder...?

RS

Subject: RE: Lachrymose balladeering
From: greg stephens
Date: 20 Nov 07 - 06:29 AM

Were Celtic farmers the only people to cure ham? I know they invented music, culture, poetry, plays, twilight,Guiness, crosses in churchyard, bodhrans, a Glaswegian football team, sculpture, stone axes and knots but I have never heard ham added to that list till now.

Subject: RE: Lachrymose balladeering
From: GUEST,LTS pretending to work
Date: 20 Nov 07 - 06:32 AM

Perhaps we should be looking into the statistics that show how many 'Celts' of any persuasion died of food poisoning or gastro-enterinal complaints in that same period.

If half your family are dead of the squitters before you reach old age at 35, then lachrymosal is how your life is likely to be. Putting it into song is just one more step.

LTS

Subject: RE: Lachrymose balladeering
From: GUEST,PMB
Date: 20 Nov 07 - 06:38 AM

I once bought a book called Irish High Crosses... I thought it was about football. The True Gael didn't have any rafters to hang a ham from, let alone the ham to hang there. They were of course addicted to mournful pipe music (cf The Boys of Ballisodare) and they lived in Ballydeering at a time when it was neither profitable nor popular.

Subject: RE: Lachrymose balladeering
From: TheSnail
Date: 20 Nov 07 - 07:02 AM

greg stephens

Were Celtic farmers the only people to cure ham? I know they invented music, culture, poetry, plays, twilight,Guiness, crosses in churchyard, bodhrans, a Glaswegian football team, sculpture, stone axes and knots

You forgot bouzoukis.

Subject: RE: Lachrymose balladeering
From: MartinRyan
Date: 20 Nov 07 - 07:13 AM

A few days ago, in north west Ireland....
___________________________

These little piggies left drivers squealing all the way home
By Anita Guidera
Saturday November 17 2007


A CARGO of pigs ran amok yesterday evening when a transport truck overturned on a busy Sligo roundabout, causing traffic chaos.


The accident happened at around 4pm when the truck, which was travelling towards Dublin, overturned on the Collooney roundabout south of Sligo town.

Some of the 160 squealing pigs on board were tipped out on to the motorway when traffic was at its height. It was even busier than usual because of the World Rally Championship which got underway in the north west earlier yesterday.

A number of pigs had to be put down. Emergency services were at the scene within minutes and with the assistance of council staff succeeded in rounding up the dazed animals.

"They were all over the place but we managed to get them rounded up and into an enclosed area where they will be picked up later," a garda source said. The driver of the vehicle was injured and taken to Sligo General Hospital. However, his condition is not serious.

Two cranes were dispatched to the scene to shift the lorry which partly blocked the motorway. But the operation had to be put on hold while gardai waited for cars, participating in the World Rally Championship, to pass through.

The rally drivers who had completed the final leg of yesterday's round in Leitrim, were due to travel back from Drumshanbo to Sligo.

- Anita Guidera

________________________________________________
Couldn't find a picture for you, I'm afraid!

Regards
p.s. I love the reference to "the final leg" towards the end!

Subject: RE: Lachrymose balladeering
From: Vixen
Date: 20 Nov 07 - 09:50 AM

No comments about lachrymose balladeering or Celtic culture, but thanks for the suggestion about what to do with that leftover ham that seems to take up the entire bottom of the refrigerator from Christmas dinner to Easter Sunday...

V (going to ask Reynaud to knock down some sheetrock to expose some rafters)

Subject: RE: Lachrymose balladeering
From: Michael
Date: 20 Nov 07 - 10:15 AM

Snail: Bouzoukis aren't Celtic, they only appeared in Irish music in the 1960's. Credit where due and all that.

Mike

Subject: RE: Lachrymose balladeering
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 20 Nov 07 - 10:58 AM

I suspect Snail was extracting urine - it seems the "Celts" invented everything else except chocolate.

LTS

Subject: RE: Lachrymose balladeering
From: treewind
Date: 20 Nov 07 - 11:15 AM

Exactly - they don't have a monopoly (nor even a claim to long historical use of) the Bodhran either.

Does Mike really think they invented music and literature too?

The bouzouki, as one should be able to guess from its name, is actually a Greek instrument, of course. If we must be pedantic...

Subject: RE: Lachrymose balladeering
From: Goose Gander
Date: 20 Nov 07 - 11:19 AM

You forgot the accordian, and the banjo, too.

Subject: RE: Lachrymose balladeering
From: Darowyn
Date: 20 Nov 07 - 11:36 AM

Has no one seen the famous Classical Greek statue of the dying Celtic warrior?
Conclusive proof that having walked all the way from Keltia to Greece, purely in order to invent the Bouzouki for them, the poor man had only the energy to sing a final lachrymose ballad and die. The statue shows him reaching vainly for a final slice of chocolate covered ham, which could have saved his life.
(Keltia was just south of Hyperborea so it was along walk)
Cheers
Dave

Subject: RE: Lachrymose balladeering
From: Michael
Date: 20 Nov 07 - 11:46 AM

LTS: Tongue WAS firmly pushed sideways, I thought the 'credit---' bit gave that away. As for Treewind's question - I daren't answer for fear of being accused of non-PCness.

Mike

Subject: RE: Lachrymose balladeering
From: TheSnail
Date: 20 Nov 07 - 12:07 PM

No, no. I was quite serious. The Celts are responsible for everything.

Subject: RE: Lachrymose balladeering
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 20 Nov 07 - 12:14 PM

Please, friend mollusc - not the Celts in general. The Irish.

Subject: RE: Lachrymose balladeering
From: TheSnail
Date: 20 Nov 07 - 12:27 PM

Ha! Falling out with each other already.

Subject: RE: Lachrymose balladeering
From: MartinRyan
Date: 20 Nov 07 - 12:46 PM

First thing on the agenda - as ever!

Regards

Subject: RE: Lachrymose balladeering
From: Newport Boy
Date: 20 Nov 07 - 04:14 PM

Well, I don't know - I was expecting the Cat to produce an intellectual discussion on the mournfulness or otherwise of Celtic music.

It's quickly developed into a factional fight. I'm not going to join this - I'll simply remark that recent research has suggested that the Welsh are pre-Celts. Maybe this is where everything originated?

Phil

Subject: RE: Lachrymose balladeering
From: greg stephens
Date: 20 Nov 07 - 04:26 PM

I saw that about the pre-Celts in the Guardian too. I take it that the actual Celts in 1000BC rushed straight through Wales on the train to Holyhead, having changed at Crewe. They then conquered Ireland, leaving the by-passed Wales to its original inhabitants, the aptly named pre-Celts.Which is why, until recently, there were no fiddles or bodhrans or bagpipes in Wales; until, that is, a few canny Welsh musicians spotted a big gap in the "Celtic music" market and started to churn out some Celtified Welsh trad music, which very strangely had never been recorded before 1970. Or at least, it was very strange till the Guardian found out there never had been any Celts in Wales.
   Which is, come think of it, odd, as the word "Welsh" is cognate, as they say, with "Celts". So, who did invemnt ham, anyway?

Subject: RE: Lachrymose balladeering
From: Anne Lister
Date: 20 Nov 07 - 04:33 PM

Has anyone succeeded in identifying a Celtic gene?

lachrymose or otherwise ....

Anne

Subject: RE: Lachrymose balladeering
From: Newport Boy
Date: 20 Nov 07 - 04:36 PM

I don't know who invented ham, but the Chinese invented roast pork.

Ham sandwiches are traditional at Welsh funerals.

The way it's turning out, I should have made this a BS thread.

Phil

Subject: RE: Lachrymose balladeering
From: jeffp
Date: 20 Nov 07 - 04:37 PM

There was Gene O'Malley......

Subject: RE: Lachrymose balladeering
From: Mikefule
Date: 20 Nov 07 - 04:46 PM

They talk about curing ham, but I've never known the pig to recover completely.

As for the nonsense in the newspaper: never rise to the bait. It's just cheap and easy copy to fill space. Do you know, sometimes they even go so far as to suggest that Morris dancers are fat men who drink real ale!