BS: Official, I know I am getting old when

Subject: BS: Official, I know I am getting old when
From: Morticia
Date: 10 Feb 08 - 01:43 PM

I get more of a thrill out of crisp, new, pretty bedlinen than I do out of new clothes.

*sigh* It's come sooner than I thought.

Subject: RE: BS: Official, I know I am getting old when
From: Bert
Date: 10 Feb 08 - 01:55 PM

And just what thrills are you anticipating on that crisp, new, pretty bedlinen Morticia?

Subject: RE: BS: Official, I know I am getting old when
From: bobad
Date: 10 Feb 08 - 02:06 PM

I open threads about getting old.

Subject: RE: BS: Official, I know I am getting old when
From: wysiwyg
Date: 10 Feb 08 - 02:25 PM

... when I can't recall the LAST thread about getting old, and start a new one.

:~)

~S~
(Filter search: Indignities)

Subject: RE: BS: Official, I know I am getting old when
From: catspaw49
Date: 10 Feb 08 - 02:54 PM

Yeah.....well Morty I'm kinda' with Bert on this, in the nicest possible way, and since we're just a filthy minded pair of old farts, Bert especially, I tell ya' what.............Just leave your clothes, old or new, in a pile there on the floor and crawl up into the middle of the bed. Bert will hop in on one side and me on the other and we'll see just how old we all are! Last one still awake turns out the light............

Spaw severely aging DOM

Subject: RE: BS: Official, I know I am getting old when
From: kendall
Date: 10 Feb 08 - 03:13 PM

If Idris walks in, neither of you will get any older.

Subject: RE: BS: Official, I know I am getting old when
From: Herga Kitty
Date: 10 Feb 08 - 03:15 PM

When Morticia thinks she's getting old....

Kitty

Subject: RE: BS: Official, I know I am getting old when
From: kendall
Date: 10 Feb 08 - 03:19 PM

You know you are getting old when all the cops look like kids.
When your back goes out more often than you do.
When it takes all night to do what you used to do all night.
When you don't suck in your pot belly no matter who enters the room.
When you sink your teeth into a steak and they stay there.

sigh

Subject: RE: BS: Official, I know I am getting old when
From: kendall
Date: 10 Feb 08 - 03:24 PM

I DON'T LOOK GOOD NAKED ANYMORE   by Sheb Wooley

I stepped out of the shower and caught a glimps of myself
Pot bellied, bald headed, I thought it was somebody else
I got a look at myself in the mirror on the bathroom door,
I just don't look good naked anymore.

I went upstairs and turned the mirror to the bathroom wall,
I hung it there when I was trim and tall,
I used to grin and flex and strut until my arms got sore
But, I just don't look good naked anymore.

I used to go out with the girls I loved them one and all
Now they don't get too close to me afraid that I might fall
I went to my Doctor for my annual medical exam
Standing there in the buff and suddenly he said "MAN"!
I said, "What is it Doc, some fatal disease? I gotta know the score"
"No, you just don't look good naked anymore."

Mona and me had a dancing style that folks said was unique,
Now it's only when we're back to back that we're dancing cheek to cheek.
I went to that nude beach to have a little seaside fun
Stretched out in my birthday suit soaking up the sun
Someone said, "There's an old white whale washed up on the shore"
I just don't look good naked anymore.

My arches fell, my waist went to hell and my butt drags on the floor
I

Subject: RE: BS: Official, I know I am getting old when
From: GUEST,Name withheld as my partner may see this
Date: 10 Feb 08 - 04:13 PM

... when I see a beautiful girl and fancy her mother.

Subject: RE: BS: Official, I know I am getting old when
From: topical tom
Date: 10 Feb 08 - 04:14 PM

You know you're getting old when ,instead of lining up shots on the bar, you're lining up pills for the next day.
When your arm is not long enough to read the paper.
When there's more hair in your nose and ears than on your head.(Not a problem for me yet, though.)

Subject: RE: BS: Official, I know I am getting old when
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 10 Feb 08 - 04:32 PM

Not when you fancy the mother surely...it's when you fancy the daughter and know you haven't a hope of..........
The problem surely for me is that my brain is still 23yrs old but my body....well that would be telling!

Subject: RE: BS: Official, I know I am getting old when
From: catspaw49
Date: 10 Feb 08 - 05:04 PM

I don't remember which Aussie 12 Meter yacht it was, either Gretel or Dame Pattie, but one of them when challenging for the America's Cup back in the '60's showed up in Newport with an aging sort of crew. They had shirts made up which said, "Daughters Guard Your Mothers."

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Official, I know I am getting old when
From: Morticia
Date: 10 Feb 08 - 05:51 PM

I hadn't quite expected the thead to go this way, guess I had forgotten the "Bert and 'Spaw factor".*BG*.

Gentleman, I am honoured and would be delighted but I 'spect my back would give in and my partner would give out.

Subject: RE: BS: Official, I know I am getting old when
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 10 Feb 08 - 07:35 PM

Why can I remember the number (license) plate of the first car my father owned in 1975, but not the number of the car I drive every week and is parked outside the house now?

And I can't remember the last time we bought any new sheets...


LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Official, I know I am getting old when
From: Bert
Date: 10 Feb 08 - 08:04 PM

Now now Morti, you don't expect us to believe that do you. Even with my limited experience, when a woman talks about sheets and clothes, I know exactly what she means.

Subject: RE: BS: Official, I know I am getting old when
From: gnomad
Date: 10 Feb 08 - 08:41 PM

I think I always got more out of decent linen than out of new clothes (go on, call me a scruff, everyone else has) good sheets are special.

My mother made me giggle when she said she was well used to policemen looking too young, but she knew she was getting old because now so did the bishops and judges.

Subject: RE: BS: Official, I know I am getting old when
From: catspaw49
Date: 10 Feb 08 - 09:11 PM

Bert says, "Even with my limited experience, when a woman talks about sheets and clothes, I know exactly what she means."

Yeah Bert.....She wants you to do the wash.(:<))

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Official, I know I am getting old when
From: Joe_F
Date: 10 Feb 08 - 09:17 PM

I catch myself thinking of graduate students as "kids" (happened today).

Subject: RE: BS: Official, I know I am getting old when
From: Bert
Date: 10 Feb 08 - 11:02 PM

YUeahhhh! ya got me Spaw.

Subject: RE: BS: Official, I know I am getting old when
From: Gurney
Date: 11 Feb 08 - 12:05 AM

As Derek Brimstone pointed out, more and more of your love is unrequited, as you get older.

Subject: RE: BS: Official, I know I am getting old when
From: JohnInKansas
Date: 11 Feb 08 - 12:52 AM

The shock that made me take stock of "where I was at" was when my new Doctor walked into the examining room for the first time, and she looked like jail-bait a teenager.

She's maturing nicely and is taking instruction in satisfactory manner.

John

Subject: RE: BS: Official, I know I am getting old when
From: The PA
Date: 11 Feb 08 - 03:32 AM

My son had decided I am now officially OLD.

In the UK on the BBC we have a facility where you can watch TV programmes again on your computer. You basically log on to BBC I.player and select the programme you've missed. I did this and watched the whole programme peering at a 3" x 3" screen in the centre of my laptop screen. When he asked me how I'd got on I said OK but the screen was a bit small.

No, I had not noticed the 'button' in the corner of the screen to enlarge the picture to the full size of the laptop screen. I remember when I used to read about people doing this kind of thing - now I'm doing it!

Subject: RE: BS: Official, I know I am getting old when
From: Micca
Date: 11 Feb 08 - 03:55 AM

You know your getting old when you come on the Mudcat and your niece, who is substantially younger than you, has started a thread about when you know you are getting old......

Subject: RE: BS: Official, I know I am getting old when
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 11 Feb 08 - 04:03 AM

speaking of Doctors, when I was last in the Emergency Dept, the trainee Doctors looked about 15 years old. Admittedly they were all first generation South East Asian Australians or overseas students, but still ...

And we had a very young Policeman in our area a few years ago who definitely would have been asked for proof of age when out of uniform. In his uniform he looked like a 14 year old wearing Daddy's hat & equipment - the holster especially looked too big for him!

sandra

Subject: RE: BS: Official, I know I am getting old when
From: Diva
Date: 11 Feb 08 - 05:39 PM

I was asked my age last week and replied the age I am in my head or my real age? Which as you all know are completely different.

Subject: RE: BS: Official, I know I am getting old when
From: Morticia
Date: 11 Feb 08 - 05:43 PM

That's good, Kathy, makes complete sense to me

Subject: RE: BS: Official, I know I am getting old when
From: Diva
Date: 12 Feb 08 - 07:21 AM

Perfect sense Terri and also to my friend who roared with laughter and admitted she was the same.

Subject: RE: BS: Official, I know I am getting old when
From: Bill D
Date: 12 Feb 08 - 11:50 AM

...it arrived for me when I was offered the 'senior citizen's' discount without my asking.

Subject: RE: BS: Official, I know I am getting old when
From: Herga Kitty
Date: 12 Feb 08 - 06:08 PM

Gurney - as Les Barker has pointed out (in Vodabone), nobody's as old as Derek Brimstone...

Kitty

Subject: RE: BS: Official, I know I am getting old when
From: Peace
Date: 12 Feb 08 - 06:09 PM

One MORE thing to worry about.

Subject: RE: BS: Official, I know I am getting old when
From: Midchuck
Date: 12 Feb 08 - 07:51 PM

Cartoon I saw the other day, now up on the kitchen wall:

Bad: Person over 40 with a Myspace page.

Worse: Your dad with a Myspace page.

Worst: Your dad's band with a Myspace page.

Peter

Subject: RE: BS: Official, I know I am getting old when
From: Diva
Date: 13 Feb 08 - 03:06 AM

Yesterday in Hawick we had gloriuous sunshine and a wee bit of heat......maybe about 8 to 10 degrees ( can somebody do the conversion)I'm in my big jumper jeans and coat and I'm getting passed by by people in T SHIRTS including one brave dame with a little number being held up by little straps and acres of bare skin..................its February

Subject: RE: BS: Official, I know I am getting old when
From: GUEST,Tunesmith
Date: 13 Feb 08 - 03:35 AM

I know I'm getting old because I can't run 10 miles in less than an hour anymore!

Subject: RE: BS: Official, I know I am getting old when
From: Catherine Jayne
Date: 13 Feb 08 - 03:45 AM

Blimey! I didn't realise I was getting old.....I love new crisp clean bedlinen.....and soft warm fluffy towels when I get out of the bath.....

Subject: RE: BS: Official, I know I am getting old when
From: fat B****rd
Date: 13 Feb 08 - 04:35 AM

...when I ogle the female tutors rather than the female students.

I'll get me mac.

Subject: RE: BS: Official, I know I am getting old when
From: Bill D
Date: 13 Feb 08 - 09:13 AM

Observation on age: "Just because there's snow on the roof, it doesn't mean the fire's out in the hearth."


*I* still ogle the young ones...just can't outrun 'em any more.

Subject: RE: BS: Official, I know I am getting old when
From: GUEST,PMB
Date: 13 Feb 08 - 09:20 AM

Intimations of senility.... I've just spent a quarter of an hour searching the place for a knife... and found it... it was in my hand all along.

Subject: RE: BS: Official, I know I am getting old when
From: Donuel
Date: 13 Feb 08 - 09:31 AM

At the Mardi Gras see Alice? See Alice, via Gras, bend over for more beads and Be Twelve again with the help of HGH.

Subject: RE: BS: Official, I know I am getting old when
From: Rowan
Date: 13 Feb 08 - 11:30 PM

High school students I taught would frequently say "I never want to get old!" By this I calculated they never wanted to be older than 20. Depending on my mood I'd reply either

"You've always got a choice!"
or
"You know, one day, should you survive long enough, you'll be as old as me!"

on the basis that a little aversion therapy occasionally can be a good thing.

And that was 20odd years ago. These days their teachers are young enough to be my grandchildren.

Cheers, Rowan

Subject: RE: BS: Official, I know I am getting old when
From: Ythanside
Date: 14 Feb 08 - 09:46 PM

I notice that some little old white-haired ladies are real lookers.

Or worse,

When I wake up beside an old-age pensioner and realise that she's my wife, and..................................................................................that she is younger than I am.

Subject: RE: BS: Official, I know I am getting old when
From: Cats
Date: 15 Feb 08 - 06:56 AM

I think Jon got it just about right when he wrote this. I bought him the T Shirt but he rckons it's made for someone older and grumpier..

GRUMPY OLD MAN


I know I'm getting older 'cos my hair is turning white.
I can't drink like I used to do or party through the night.
They say girls grow up like their mothers, what I find is sad,
I've turned into a grumpy old man and I've become my dad.

And while we're on the subject I'll tell you what makes me wild.
Young shop assistants treat me like I am a backward child.
In words of just one syllable 'cross crowded shops they roar,
"I'm sorry Sir, we haven't a tube of pile cream in the store!"

I can still remember clearly 1962
But ask me about yesterday, I haven't got a clue.
A letter from my doctor said that he was very cross.
I forgot an appointment with him about my memory loss.

I've always been a Socialist, my politics are Red
And if I turned Conservative then God could strike me dead.
Listening to the radio I began to quake and quail.
I found myself agreeing with the editor of The Mail.

As well as hair and memory loss and Neo-Fascist thoughts
The journey on the path of life is troublesome and fraught.
For as the years go speeding past, a truism I've found,
The bits that used to bend go stiff – and the other way around.

And have you seen those t-shirts that say, "Carpe Diem".
I couldn't seize a whole day, I could manage 5pm.
I won't live every minute, any minute I could die.
So I'll sit back with a G&T and let the day go by.

Come all you lovely ladies who prefer your men mature
Grab me while I'm capable – don't worry, I'm insured.
Use me as your plaything and you'll be surprised I bet
To find with careful handling, there's life in the old dog yet!

Subject: RE: BS: Official, I know I am getting old when
From: theleveller
Date: 15 Feb 08 - 07:01 AM

I've started a club called the GODS (Growing Old Disgracefully Society). Anyone over 50 can join. All you have to do is what the name suggests.

And, just remember, the GODS are immortal.

Subject: RE: BS: Official, I know I am getting old when
From: theleveller
Date: 15 Feb 08 - 07:06 AM

Growing Old Discracefully is when you fancy the girl AND her mother, make dates with both and don't tell either. Growing Old Really Disgracefully (GORD!) is when you end up in bed with both at the same time (hey, I can dream!).

Subject: RE: BS: Official, I know I am getting old when
From: Richard Bridge
Date: 15 Feb 08 - 07:31 AM

You think the age limit for GODS is too low!

Subject: RE: BS: Official, I know I am getting old when
From: Morticia
Date: 15 Feb 08 - 11:35 AM

I'm too young to join GODS ( only just mind you) but I can practise in the meantime.

Subject: RE: BS: Official, I know I am getting old when
From: theleveller
Date: 15 Feb 08 - 12:07 PM

Morticia, practice makes perfect and I'm sure you'll become a perfect member.

Subject: RE: BS: Official, I know I am getting old when
From: Cats
Date: 15 Feb 08 - 12:32 PM

Jon's Mum decided she was going to grow old disgracefully [now you know where he gets it from!]. On her 75th birthday her husband took her to a very exclusive restaurant. When the waiter came she tasted the wine and started going urgh, pshaw and other 'this is awful' type noises. The Head Wine waiter came rushing over to see what the trouble was and asked what was wrong with the wine, to which she replied, 'nothing, it's just that I've always wanted to do that!' He took it in good part and had a good laugh. I'm just practising. I've bought my first purple outfit!

Subject: RE: BS: Official, I know I am getting old when
From: Don Firth
Date: 15 Feb 08 - 01:07 PM

I was going to type something really clever here, but I forgot what it was. . . .

Don . . . uhh. . . Ah! Firth

Subject: RE: BS: Official, I know I am getting old when
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 15 Feb 08 - 01:16 PM

Poor Don...There are two distinct things that happen to us as we get older...the first being that we forget things...........and the second .............erm.....well.......erm ......what was the second thing?

Subject: RE: BS: Official, I know I am getting old when
From: gnu
Date: 15 Feb 08 - 01:19 PM

.... you check the stove and your fly before you leave. Of course... need I say it?

Subject: RE: BS: Official, I know I am getting old when
From: Don Firth
Date: 15 Feb 08 - 01:32 PM

And then, after you have left, you check your fly again, but you agonize over whether or not you actually did check the stove.

Don Firth

Subject: RE: BS: Official, I know I am getting old when
From: Don Firth
Date: 15 Feb 08 - 01:33 PM

. . . or was that the more that you weren't going to say?

Don Firth

Subject: RE: BS: Official, I know I am getting old when
From: Don(Wyziwyg)T
Date: 15 Feb 08 - 05:58 PM

An Old Age Pensioner offers me HER seat on the bus.

Don T.

Subject: RE: BS: Official, I know I am getting old when
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 15 Feb 08 - 06:10 PM

Two teenage boys at the local Leisure Centre complain to their friend that "That old bloke in there said we can't use the sauna cos we're not old enough" .......Am I really an old bloke...I suppose I must be!

Subject: RE: BS: Official, I know I am getting old when
From: gnu
Date: 15 Feb 08 - 06:15 PM

Yes, Don. I think that's right.

Must check the stove... I baked potatoes earlier. Thanks for reminding me.

Subject: RE: BS: Official, I know I am getting old when
From: Rowan
Date: 15 Feb 08 - 08:47 PM

Growing Old Disgracefully
is the motto of the Ulysses Club, a society of motorbike riders who are more than 60 years old. Associate membership is available to those who are at least 50. The Ulysses Club has been around, in Oz at least, for at least 40 years. They raise funds for charities.

Cheers, Rowan

Subject: RE: BS: Official, I know I am getting old when
From: Don Firth
Date: 15 Feb 08 - 09:52 PM

No, those aren't liver spots. That's just where I drooled my Geritol.

Don Firth

Subject: RE: BS: Official, I know I am getting old when
From: Don Firth
Date: 15 Feb 08 - 10:16 PM

In the section of The Red Green Show" where Red gives his "advice for older guys," in one show he describes the kind of situation that occasionally crops up in any marriage when you and "the wife" have some kind of disagreement. The sort where you might have vagrant notions of just walking out and starting another life for yourself. He says (this is from memory, but it's pretty close), "Go into another room, one that has a full-length mirror. Now take off your clothes. All of them! Then look at yourself in the mirror. Look up. Look down. Look under if you have to. Now turn around and look over your shoulder at your backside. Okay, when you've done all that, ask yourself this question:   'Am I in dating shape?'   Now, get out there and make that marriage work!

"Remember, I'm pullin' for ya'. We're all in this together."

Don Firth

Subject: RE: BS: Official, I know I am getting old when
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 16 Feb 08 - 09:49 AM

Old is when you find a grey hair... that isn't on your head....

NOooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Official, I know I am getting old when
From: mandotim
Date: 16 Feb 08 - 10:33 AM

As a musician, I reckon you're officially old if you'd rather have roadies than groupies...
Tim

Subject: RE: BS: Official, I know I am getting old when
From: alanabit
Date: 17 Feb 08 - 03:56 AM

You are getting gold:
When hair grows on any part of your body - except your head.
When you embarrass your kids more often than they embarrass you.
When you check the time of the last bus home before you go out.
When the lust object of your teens has grandchildren.
When you go to a restaurant and are more concerned with your digestion than the bill.
When your joints ache more than your muscles when you are training.
When you drink water instead of beer after training.
When your children do not know the names of your favourite film stars - because they are dead.
When you have never heard of the acts, which are filling the local stadia.
When your children are learning history, which you first read in the newspapers.

Subject: RE: BS: Official, I know I am getting old when
From: Richard Bridge
Date: 17 Feb 08 - 06:11 AM

When you remember when Cliff Richard played Rock and Roll;
When you listen to Radio 2;
When you remember when the UK had an indigenous car industry;
When you remember when the UK had an indigenous motor cycle industry;
When you remember when large parts of atlas maps were red;
When you expect a cheap guitar to be unplayable and untunable;
When you still have 15 amp 240V round pin electrical plugs in the garage - both 3 pin AND 2-pin!

Subject: RE: BS: Official, I know I am getting old when
From: bobad
Date: 17 Feb 08 - 07:46 AM

A friend's daughter is doing a history phd on an era (60's) that you lived through and (mostly) remember.

Subject: RE: BS: Official, I know I am getting old when
From: alanabit
Date: 17 Feb 08 - 09:17 AM

Richard, this is starting to hurt!

Subject: RE: BS: Official, I know I am getting old when
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 17 Feb 08 - 01:14 PM

When you pass 60 and realise you could be in the last quarter of your miserable life.
When your child becomes 40.
When your grandchildren are getting married.
When you watch your Countrys rugby team running onto the field and wish you were one of them but know you will no longer have the chance.
When your grandchildren approach you for your 'long in the tooth' knowledge.
When the walking is not really a problem but getting out of the chair to go for a walk is.

Subject: RE: BS: Official, I know I am getting old when
From: Don Firth
Date: 17 Feb 08 - 02:43 PM

When I got onto this elevator, turned around, and some really old geezer stepped on right behind me. He looks awfully darned familiar. He squints at me for several seconds, then says, "Don? Don Firth?"

"Uh, yes?" I say quizzically, trying to place him. Some friend of my father's?

Then he says, "It's me, Dave Johanson."

Then it sinks in. We went to high school together.

Don Firth

Subject: RE: BS: Official, I know I am getting old when
From: GUEST,Art Thieme
Date: 17 Feb 08 - 08:36 PM

...when my birthday cake sets off the smoke alarm.

Art

Subject: RE: BS: Official, I know I am getting old when
From: Schantieman
Date: 18 Feb 08 - 07:27 AM

A couple of years ago I was on jury service. I thought one of the judges looked young!

S

Subject: RE: BS: Official, I know I am getting old when
From: Micca
Date: 18 Feb 08 - 08:13 AM

Art, a friend swears his mother uses the smoke alarm as a Kitchen timer!!!

Subject: RE: BS: Official, I know I am getting old when
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 18 Feb 08 - 09:28 PM

He's gettin' too old to cut the mustard any more

Subject: RE: BS: Official, I know I am getting old when
From: Diva
Date: 17 Sep 11 - 03:05 AM

I am not old..well not in my head BUT a wee while ago we had a "laddie" in doing research. My collegue took his details (including pictorial ID) The "laddie" was in his mid-twenties and the ID was his Warrent card........a polis..he looked about 12.....

Subject: RE: BS: Official, I know I am getting old when
From: Gurney
Date: 17 Sep 11 - 03:53 AM

Herga Kitty:

"Gurney - as Les Barker has pointed out (in Vodabone), nobody's as old as Derek Brimstone..."


Thanks a lot. I just looked it up. He is just nine years older than I am! Is that supposed to make me feel better?


Eeeeeh.

Subject: RE: BS: Official, I know I am getting old when
From: mayomick
Date: 17 Sep 11 - 08:59 AM

When I look older than an old man's photo inside an ancient Victrola ………..

Subject: RE: BS: Official, I know I am getting old when
From: GUEST,Eliza
Date: 17 Sep 11 - 09:53 AM

I stood there in Marks and Spencers like a nitwit, when my card was turned down twice. I'd received a new one and had even activated it, but had no recollection of doing that. After getting cross (I'm red with shame even now!) I found the new card in my wallet. I must destroy the old one, or I'll be doing this again. I crawled out of there feeling ancient and senile. (well, I AM!) What made it worse, in a way, was the very kind assistant, who was so patient. She must have thought "Poor old soul, she's lost her marbles..."

Subject: RE: BS: Official, I know I am getting old when
From: GUEST,999
Date: 17 Sep 11 - 10:02 AM

I have just begun to test the prognostications of the Beatles.

Subject: RE: BS: Official, I know I am getting old when
From: RoyH (Burl)
Date: 17 Sep 11 - 10:38 AM

At 78 I am beginning to resemble my passport photograph.

Subject: RE: BS: Official, I know I am getting old when
From: GUEST,999
Date: 17 Sep 11 - 10:43 AM

Mine makes me look like I got smacked on the back o' the head with a ball-peen hammer.

Subject: RE: BS: Official, I know I am getting old when
From: Lighter
Date: 17 Sep 11 - 10:56 AM

I was a twentysomething graduate student. I was wearing jeans and an open-neck shirt.

An undergraduate in the cafeteria asked me for directions and called me "sir."

Downhill since then.

Subject: RE: BS: Official, I know I am getting old when
From: GUEST,999
Date: 17 Sep 11 - 11:15 AM

LOL

I'd just started teaching when a kid asked me how old I was. I replied, "I'm 37." The kid looked in amazement at his friends and said, "Wow. How do ya get to BE that old."

I feel your pain, Lighter.

Subject: RE: BS: Official, I know I am getting old when
From: Bill D
Date: 17 Sep 11 - 11:49 AM

A few years ago, I was standing near some young folks, when one one of them said: "OMG...I'm turning 20 next month! I'm getting old!"
I couldn't help interrupting..."Hey, 20 is great! I LIKE 20...in fact, I liked it so well, I did it 3 times!".
In a few years, I can change that to 4 times.

Subject: RE: BS: Official, I know I am getting old when
From: GUEST,Ebbie
Date: 17 Sep 11 - 12:05 PM

Given all the horrific things that can happen, I have told young whippersnappers: My age is where you will get to be - if you are lucky.

Subject: RE: BS: Official, I know I am getting old when
From: gnu
Date: 17 Sep 11 - 01:59 PM

With age comes wisdom.

I was at the corner store yesterday. I backed out of the furthest parking space from the door and started toward the lane between the gas pump lane and the store. A little red sporty car driven by a guy about 20 zipped past me and parked in the lane. His lady friend got out and went into the store. I pulled up behind him expecting him to move. Nope. I beeped. He looked in the mirror. I mouthed, "Are you gonna move." He gave me the finger and mouthed, "Fuck YOU!" as he pointed at me in the mirror.

I calmly reversed, got turned around, went out the first entrance, went in the second entrance, parked in front of him, lit up a smoke and started reading my newspaper. He was standing at my door screaming for me to get out of my truck when his girlfriend came out. They had a heated discussion. She got in the car and backed up whereupon he ran to get in before she drove away.

I got smiles and thumb-ups from the other customers and a handclap from the clerk who was watching through the window.

Perhaps not a wise thing to do. Especially if he didn't laid last night. >;-)

Oh, maybe you thought *I* wasn't wise? Perhaps, but I am too old to give a shit about rude young punks... of any age.

Subject: RE: BS: Official, I know I am getting old when
From: GUEST,999
Date: 17 Sep 11 - 02:09 PM

And maybe the kid got real lucky by not getting out of the car, Gnu. I've met a few old basta--codgers who are tough as nails. I ain't met you yet, but I got ten bucks says you're one of 'em.

Subject: RE: BS: Official, I know I am getting old when
From: gnu
Date: 17 Sep 11 - 02:27 PM

9... he did get out of his car. He was standing at my door screaming for me to get out of my truck but I didn't even look at him... which made him even more angry.

Of course, I had my hand on the door handle, waiting for him to touch the truck. I also had my (Rap is gonna like this) channel locks in hand. I keep them in the door pocket... two of them. Perfectly legal and VERY effective.

Subject: RE: BS: Official, I know I am getting old when
From: Don(Wyziwyg)T
Date: 17 Sep 11 - 05:35 PM

When your favourite eight year old says "Grandad, what was it like when you were alive?"

Happened last week.

Don T.

Subject: RE: BS: Official, I know I am getting old when
From: gnu
Date: 17 Sep 11 - 07:24 PM

Don... THAT is priceless!

Subject: RE: BS: Official, I know I am getting old when
From: dick greenhaus
Date: 17 Sep 11 - 07:35 PM

...I forget the lyrics of song I've been singing for the past 60 years

Subject: RE: BS: Official, I know I am getting old when
From: Ed T
Date: 17 Sep 11 - 08:04 PM

I join a knitting circle:)

Subject: RE: BS: Official, I know I am getting old when
From: olddude
Date: 17 Sep 11 - 08:20 PM

this morning on my birthday of 58 years I got up and my knees were popping louder than Orville Redenbacher's popcorn

Subject: RE: BS: Official, I know I am getting old when
From: dick greenhaus
Date: 17 Sep 11 - 11:00 PM

Olddude-
Consider yourself lucky. I can barely remember my 58th

Subject: RE: BS: Official, I know I am getting old when
From: Joe_F
Date: 18 Sep 11 - 10:37 PM

58? You should call yourself uppermiddleageddude.

Subject: RE: BS: Official, I know I am getting old when
From: GUEST,Patsy
Date: 19 Sep 11 - 07:27 AM

Your thirtysomething sons are now starting to moan how music isn't as good as it was in the 'old' days (90s) and that they find it hard to identify one band from another. I think I remember saying something similar and my parents before that!

Subject: RE: BS: Official, I know I am getting old when
From: GUEST,Eliza
Date: 19 Sep 11 - 07:33 AM

Went to Sheringham (Norfolk UK) yesterday, lovely re-creation of Second World War days, lots of folk in costume, sandbags, uniforms, evacuee children, Land Girls, Home Guard etc etc. Even two steam trains. Oh dear, tears in the eyes! I know I'm old now, as I saw all that when it was current! Also, must be old, as I keep thinking our country was a million times better in those days. (Seriously though, what HAVE they done to 'Great' Britain??! Everything seems positively ghastly nowadays!!)

Subject: RE: BS: Official, I know I am getting old when
From: GUEST,999
Date: 19 Sep 11 - 10:21 AM

Same thing they have done to North America. Economic rape.

Subject: RE: BS: Official, I know I am getting old when
From: Mrrzy
Date: 19 Sep 11 - 01:21 PM

Seen in a puzzle the other day: You know you're not a child any more when you'd rather sleep in than get up early on Xmas morning. So true. Said this to one of my kids and he denied that it was even *possible* to want to sleep in on Xmas morning... *sigh* it's been a while since I wanted to be up that early!

My sister has a great memory of one of her little girls (now well into their 20's) referring to a teacher who'd dressed as a hippie for Halloween as someone from "the olden days." Yikes.

My knees pop and I make the grandparent grunting noise when getting up off the couch... and I don't even sit in soft chairs as I can't get out of them at all.

Subject: RE: BS: Official, I know I am getting old when
From: JohnInKansas
Date: 19 Sep 11 - 01:40 PM

When I first began accumulating "lifting aids" I blamed it on decades of office work and being "in bad shape," and resolved to get more exercise.

One helpful device was a "lift table" that I can drag something heavy onto and "jack it up" by pumping on the hydraulic jack.

Possibly the most helpful has been the hydraulic lift tailgate I added to my truck.

Now that I'm begining to need helper devices to lift my lifting devices, I have to consider the possibility that it isn't just a lack of exercise, and I might be getting a little older.

The lift table has a nice set of wheels, but to use it for anything out in the yard I have to find someone to help move it through the grass - or tie a cable hoist to a fence post and winch it across.

The lift gate is quite handy, since I can drop it down half-way and use it for a step to get in the truck bed, so I don't have to drag the ladder out. (Trucks are a lot taller now than when I was younger.)

A "ladder rack" on top of the truck makes a nice hand hold to steady my wobbly balance when I crawl up or move around in the back of the truck, although I have no idea how I'd get anything high enough up in the air to put it on the rack.

I'm considering whether there's a way to adapt the lift table to the lift gate, since I now have a real problem closing the tailgate (it is about 175 pounds dead-weight, but only takes about 50 - 60 lb to swing it up so I can manage it for now) when I get down out of the truck.

Maybe I can find some lifting-aid aids-lifting aids for lifting the lifting aids (I'm looking) to help getting the lifting-aid aids to the lifting aids so I can get the lifting aids to the loads I need to lift; but I suppose then I'd have to have help lifting all the big batteries they'd require; and by the time I found the right aid to move the aid to the aid I'd probably forget what it was I wanted to lift, I suppose.

(No summarizations about old-age being a problem of getting things up please.)

John

Subject: RE: BS: Official, I know I am getting old when
From: Bill D
Date: 19 Sep 11 - 02:56 PM

I guess the idea of 'getting old' really hit me when I was nearing 60. For my 50th and 55th birthdays, I stood on my head while folks attempted to recite "You are old, Father William", but after neck problems, my doc. told me to go easy on the neck! (At 50, I could still flip my legs into full Lotus while standing on my head!)

Now, at 72 I am careful how I sit, and I don't look at helicopters over my shoulder, lest the calcium spur on my vertebra cause my arm to go numb. I can still jog, work, lift & pretend to clog-dance. I just don't do any of them as long as I used to.

The memory thing? Just like Dick G. and others note... memory does odd tricks. I do INTEND to live to 100..."The best laid plans of mice & men" not withstanding. (not with head-standing, anyway)

Subject: RE: BS: Official, I know I am getting old when
From: gnu
Date: 19 Sep 11 - 03:22 PM

JiK... yer lift gate... manufacturer? Sounds like I meen one... every time I try ta get sommmat in me truck.

Subject: RE: BS: Official, I know I am getting old when
From: gnu
Date: 19 Sep 11 - 03:22 PM

meen???? need

Subject: RE: BS: Official, I know I am getting old when
From: BrooklynJay
Date: 19 Sep 11 - 03:59 PM

A warm weather phenomenon:

For the past several years now - alright, a bit more than several years - when I pass young women on the street, they tend to immediately stretch their skimpy shirts downward to cover their previously exposed bare midsections if they even so much as think that I've glanced in their direction.

For the record, I recently turned 56, am still halfway decent looking, and am definitely not interested in girls young enough to be my daughter (if I had one).

But still... it does make one aware of the aging process.

Jay

Subject: RE: BS: Official, I know I am getting old when
From: JohnInKansas
Date: 19 Sep 11 - 08:53 PM

gnu -

My Lift Gate is an Anthony (Scroll down to "Pickup Series"). Main competition is the Tommy Gate. Very similar, but the Anthony has some "durability features" (at least in the ads) that the Tommy doesn't, although the Tommy is more common and very marginally cheaper. There are numerous other brands, but the Anthony was the recommendation from the shop where I got mine.

Used ones sometimes show up in the local ads here, but installation isn't a trivial operation so used ones actually go pretty cheaply. Most trucks will need about $100 worth of "model specific" fittings, and a forklift is a recommended/required tool for getting one on. There'd probably be more used ones for sale if more salvage yards were acquipped to take one off.

Not cheap at about $2600 (US) - new including installation - for a full size pickup. Approx 1750 lb lift capacity, although my Chevy 1500 only has about 1200 lb payload rating and the gate itself uses almost 400 of that. My Chev is a "WT" model (for Work Truck) so it's assumed that they assume it will be frequently loaded a little "over the rating"(?). It doesn't seem to mind, although I haven't put more than about 1600 lb on it (yet).

If you just have my trouble with getiin' in and out of the truck, one of the "Truck Toy" shops here has a mini-ladder that attaches to the tailgate and flips out conveniently(?) after the gate's down, but I thought their $300 was a bit excessive for a $30 stepladder/stool, and the gate is a real help for anything over "that size" where the stuff gets clumsy to handle.

John

Subject: RE: BS: Official, I know I am getting old when
From: gnu
Date: 20 Sep 11 - 05:30 PM

Thanks JiK. I found one available by special order here for about the same price. I find it odd that these riggins are not be made and sold a LOT cheaper. If I had a shitload of money I'd be at makin em.