BS: Official, I know I am getting old when

Subject: BS: Official, I know I am getting old when
From: Morticia
Date: 10 Feb 08 - 01:43 PM

I get more of a thrill out of crisp, new, pretty bedlinen than I do out of new clothes.

*sigh* It's come sooner than I thought.

Subject: RE: BS: Official, I know I am getting old when
From: Bert
Date: 10 Feb 08 - 01:55 PM

And just what thrills are you anticipating on that crisp, new, pretty bedlinen Morticia?

Subject: RE: BS: Official, I know I am getting old when
From: bobad
Date: 10 Feb 08 - 02:06 PM

I open threads about getting old.

Subject: RE: BS: Official, I know I am getting old when
From: wysiwyg
Date: 10 Feb 08 - 02:25 PM

... when I can't recall the LAST thread about getting old, and start a new one.

:~)

~S~
(Filter search: Indignities)

Subject: RE: BS: Official, I know I am getting old when
From: catspaw49
Date: 10 Feb 08 - 02:54 PM

Yeah.....well Morty I'm kinda' with Bert on this, in the nicest possible way, and since we're just a filthy minded pair of old farts, Bert especially, I tell ya' what.............Just leave your clothes, old or new, in a pile there on the floor and crawl up into the middle of the bed. Bert will hop in on one side and me on the other and we'll see just how old we all are! Last one still awake turns out the light............

Spaw severely aging DOM

Subject: RE: BS: Official, I know I am getting old when
From: kendall
Date: 10 Feb 08 - 03:13 PM

If Idris walks in, neither of you will get any older.

Subject: RE: BS: Official, I know I am getting old when
From: Herga Kitty
Date: 10 Feb 08 - 03:15 PM

When Morticia thinks she's getting old....

Kitty

Subject: RE: BS: Official, I know I am getting old when
From: kendall
Date: 10 Feb 08 - 03:19 PM

You know you are getting old when all the cops look like kids.
When your back goes out more often than you do.
When it takes all night to do what you used to do all night.
When you don't suck in your pot belly no matter who enters the room.
When you sink your teeth into a steak and they stay there.

sigh

Subject: RE: BS: Official, I know I am getting old when
From: kendall
Date: 10 Feb 08 - 03:24 PM

I DON'T LOOK GOOD NAKED ANYMORE   by Sheb Wooley

I stepped out of the shower and caught a glimps of myself
Pot bellied, bald headed, I thought it was somebody else
I got a look at myself in the mirror on the bathroom door,
I just don't look good naked anymore.

I went upstairs and turned the mirror to the bathroom wall,
I hung it there when I was trim and tall,
I used to grin and flex and strut until my arms got sore
But, I just don't look good naked anymore.

I used to go out with the girls I loved them one and all
Now they don't get too close to me afraid that I might fall
I went to my Doctor for my annual medical exam
Standing there in the buff and suddenly he said "MAN"!
I said, "What is it Doc, some fatal disease? I gotta know the score"
"No, you just don't look good naked anymore."

Mona and me had a dancing style that folks said was unique,
Now it's only when we're back to back that we're dancing cheek to cheek.
I went to that nude beach to have a little seaside fun
Stretched out in my birthday suit soaking up the sun
Someone said, "There's an old white whale washed up on the shore"
I just don't look good naked anymore.

My arches fell, my waist went to hell and my butt drags on the floor
I

Subject: RE: BS: Official, I know I am getting old when
From: GUEST,Name withheld as my partner may see this
Date: 10 Feb 08 - 04:13 PM

... when I see a beautiful girl and fancy her mother.

Subject: RE: BS: Official, I know I am getting old when
From: topical tom
Date: 10 Feb 08 - 04:14 PM

You know you're getting old when ,instead of lining up shots on the bar, you're lining up pills for the next day.
When your arm is not long enough to read the paper.
When there's more hair in your nose and ears than on your head.(Not a problem for me yet, though.)

Subject: RE: BS: Official, I know I am getting old when
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 10 Feb 08 - 04:32 PM

Not when you fancy the mother surely...it's when you fancy the daughter and know you haven't a hope of..........
The problem surely for me is that my brain is still 23yrs old but my body....well that would be telling!

Subject: RE: BS: Official, I know I am getting old when
From: catspaw49
Date: 10 Feb 08 - 05:04 PM

I don't remember which Aussie 12 Meter yacht it was, either Gretel or Dame Pattie, but one of them when challenging for the America's Cup back in the '60's showed up in Newport with an aging sort of crew. They had shirts made up which said, "Daughters Guard Your Mothers."

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Official, I know I am getting old when
From: Morticia
Date: 10 Feb 08 - 05:51 PM

I hadn't quite expected the thead to go this way, guess I had forgotten the "Bert and 'Spaw factor".*BG*.

Gentleman, I am honoured and would be delighted but I 'spect my back would give in and my partner would give out.

Subject: RE: BS: Official, I know I am getting old when
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 10 Feb 08 - 07:35 PM

Why can I remember the number (license) plate of the first car my father owned in 1975, but not the number of the car I drive every week and is parked outside the house now?

And I can't remember the last time we bought any new sheets...


LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Official, I know I am getting old when
From: Bert
Date: 10 Feb 08 - 08:04 PM

Now now Morti, you don't expect us to believe that do you. Even with my limited experience, when a woman talks about sheets and clothes, I know exactly what she means.

Subject: RE: BS: Official, I know I am getting old when
From: gnomad
Date: 10 Feb 08 - 08:41 PM

I think I always got more out of decent linen than out of new clothes (go on, call me a scruff, everyone else has) good sheets are special.

My mother made me giggle when she said she was well used to policemen looking too young, but she knew she was getting old because now so did the bishops and judges.

Subject: RE: BS: Official, I know I am getting old when
From: catspaw49
Date: 10 Feb 08 - 09:11 PM

Bert says, "Even with my limited experience, when a woman talks about sheets and clothes, I know exactly what she means."

Yeah Bert.....She wants you to do the wash.(:<))

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Official, I know I am getting old when
From: Joe_F
Date: 10 Feb 08 - 09:17 PM

I catch myself thinking of graduate students as "kids" (happened today).

Subject: RE: BS: Official, I know I am getting old when
From: Bert
Date: 10 Feb 08 - 11:02 PM

YUeahhhh! ya got me Spaw.

Subject: RE: BS: Official, I know I am getting old when
From: Gurney
Date: 11 Feb 08 - 12:05 AM

As Derek Brimstone pointed out, more and more of your love is unrequited, as you get older.

Subject: RE: BS: Official, I know I am getting old when
From: JohnInKansas
Date: 11 Feb 08 - 12:52 AM

The shock that made me take stock of "where I was at" was when my new Doctor walked into the examining room for the first time, and she looked like jail-bait a teenager.

She's maturing nicely and is taking instruction in satisfactory manner.

John

Subject: RE: BS: Official, I know I am getting old when
From: The PA
Date: 11 Feb 08 - 03:32 AM

My son had decided I am now officially OLD.

In the UK on the BBC we have a facility where you can watch TV programmes again on your computer. You basically log on to BBC I.player and select the programme you've missed. I did this and watched the whole programme peering at a 3" x 3" screen in the centre of my laptop screen. When he asked me how I'd got on I said OK but the screen was a bit small.

No, I had not noticed the 'button' in the corner of the screen to enlarge the picture to the full size of the laptop screen. I remember when I used to read about people doing this kind of thing - now I'm doing it!

Subject: RE: BS: Official, I know I am getting old when
From: Micca
Date: 11 Feb 08 - 03:55 AM

You know your getting old when you come on the Mudcat and your niece, who is substantially younger than you, has started a thread about when you know you are getting old......

Subject: RE: BS: Official, I know I am getting old when
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 11 Feb 08 - 04:03 AM

speaking of Doctors, when I was last in the Emergency Dept, the trainee Doctors looked about 15 years old. Admittedly they were all first generation South East Asian Australians or overseas students, but still ...

And we had a very young Policeman in our area a few years ago who definitely would have been asked for proof of age when out of uniform. In his uniform he looked like a 14 year old wearing Daddy's hat & equipment - the holster especially looked too big for him!

sandra

Subject: RE: BS: Official, I know I am getting old when
From: Diva
Date: 11 Feb 08 - 05:39 PM

I was asked my age last week and replied the age I am in my head or my real age? Which as you all know are completely different.

Subject: RE: BS: Official, I know I am getting old when
From: Morticia
Date: 11 Feb 08 - 05:43 PM

That's good, Kathy, makes complete sense to me

Subject: RE: BS: Official, I know I am getting old when
From: Diva
Date: 12 Feb 08 - 07:21 AM

Perfect sense Terri and also to my friend who roared with laughter and admitted she was the same.

Subject: RE: BS: Official, I know I am getting old when
From: Bill D
Date: 12 Feb 08 - 11:50 AM

...it arrived for me when I was offered the 'senior citizen's' discount without my asking.

Subject: RE: BS: Official, I know I am getting old when
From: Herga Kitty
Date: 12 Feb 08 - 06:08 PM

Gurney - as Les Barker has pointed out (in Vodabone), nobody's as old as Derek Brimstone...

Kitty

Subject: RE: BS: Official, I know I am getting old when
From: Peace
Date: 12 Feb 08 - 06:09 PM

One MORE thing to worry about.

Subject: RE: BS: Official, I know I am getting old when
From: Midchuck
Date: 12 Feb 08 - 07:51 PM

Cartoon I saw the other day, now up on the kitchen wall:

Bad: Person over 40 with a Myspace page.

Worse: Your dad with a Myspace page.

Worst: Your dad's band with a Myspace page.

Peter

Subject: RE: BS: Official, I know I am getting old when
From: Diva
Date: 13 Feb 08 - 03:06 AM

Yesterday in Hawick we had gloriuous sunshine and a wee bit of heat......maybe about 8 to 10 degrees ( can somebody do the conversion)I'm in my big jumper jeans and coat and I'm getting passed by by people in T SHIRTS including one brave dame with a little number being held up by little straps and acres of bare skin..................its February

Subject: RE: BS: Official, I know I am getting old when
From: GUEST,Tunesmith
Date: 13 Feb 08 - 03:35 AM

I know I'm getting old because I can't run 10 miles in less than an hour anymore!

Subject: RE: BS: Official, I know I am getting old when
From: Catherine Jayne
Date: 13 Feb 08 - 03:45 AM

Blimey! I didn't realise I was getting old.....I love new crisp clean bedlinen.....and soft warm fluffy towels when I get out of the bath.....

Subject: RE: BS: Official, I know I am getting old when
From: fat B****rd
Date: 13 Feb 08 - 04:35 AM

...when I ogle the female tutors rather than the female students.

I'll get me mac.

Subject: RE: BS: Official, I know I am getting old when
From: Bill D
Date: 13 Feb 08 - 09:13 AM

Observation on age: "Just because there's snow on the roof, it doesn't mean the fire's out in the hearth."


*I* still ogle the young ones...just can't outrun 'em any more.

Subject: RE: BS: Official, I know I am getting old when
From: GUEST,PMB
Date: 13 Feb 08 - 09:20 AM

Intimations of senility.... I've just spent a quarter of an hour searching the place for a knife... and found it... it was in my hand all along.

Subject: RE: BS: Official, I know I am getting old when
From: Donuel
Date: 13 Feb 08 - 09:31 AM

At the Mardi Gras see Alice? See Alice, via Gras, bend over for more beads and Be Twelve again with the help of HGH.

Subject: RE: BS: Official, I know I am getting old when
From: Rowan
Date: 13 Feb 08 - 11:30 PM

High school students I taught would frequently say "I never want to get old!" By this I calculated they never wanted to be older than 20. Depending on my mood I'd reply either

"You've always got a choice!"
or
"You know, one day, should you survive long enough, you'll be as old as me!"

on the basis that a little aversion therapy occasionally can be a good thing.

And that was 20odd years ago. These days their teachers are young enough to be my grandchildren.

Cheers, Rowan

Subject: RE: BS: Official, I know I am getting old when
From: Ythanside
Date: 14 Feb 08 - 09:46 PM

I notice that some little old white-haired ladies are real lookers.

Or worse,

When I wake up beside an old-age pensioner and realise that she's my wife, and..................................................................................that she is younger than I am.

Subject: RE: BS: Official, I know I am getting old when
From: Cats
Date: 15 Feb 08 - 06:56 AM

I think Jon got it just about right when he wrote this. I bought him the T Shirt but he rckons it's made for someone older and grumpier..

GRUMPY OLD MAN


I know I'm getting older 'cos my hair is turning white.
I can't drink like I used to do or party through the night.
They say girls grow up like their mothers, what I find is sad,
I've turned into a grumpy old man and I've become my dad.

And while we're on the subject I'll tell you what makes me wild.
Young shop assistants treat me like I am a backward child.
In words of just one syllable 'cross crowded shops they roar,
"I'm sorry Sir, we haven't a tube of pile cream in the store!"

I can still remember clearly 1962
But ask me about yesterday, I haven't got a clue.
A letter from my doctor said that he was very cross.
I forgot an appointment with him about my memory loss.

I've always been a Socialist, my politics are Red
And if I turned Conservative then God could strike me dead.
Listening to the radio I began to quake and quail.
I found myself agreeing with the editor of The Mail.

As well as hair and memory loss and Neo-Fascist thoughts
The journey on the path of life is troublesome and fraught.
For as the years go speeding past, a truism I've found,
The bits that used to bend go stiff – and the other way around.

And have you seen those t-shirts that say, "Carpe Diem".
I couldn't seize a whole day, I could manage 5pm.
I won't live every minute, any minute I could die.
So I'll sit back with a G&T and let the day go by.

Come all you lovely ladies who prefer your men mature
Grab me while I'm capable – don't worry, I'm insured.
Use me as your plaything and you'll be surprised I bet
To find with careful handling, there's life in the old dog yet!

Subject: RE: BS: Official, I know I am getting old when
From: theleveller
Date: 15 Feb 08 - 07:01 AM

I've started a club called the GODS (Growing Old Disgracefully Society). Anyone over 50 can join. All you have to do is what the name suggests.

And, just remember, the GODS are immortal.

Subject: RE: BS: Official, I know I am getting old when
From: theleveller
Date: 15 Feb 08 - 07:06 AM

Growing Old Discracefully is when you fancy the girl AND her mother, make dates with both and don't tell either. Growing Old Really Disgracefully (GORD!) is when you end up in bed with both at the same time (hey, I can dream!).

Subject: RE: BS: Official, I know I am getting old when
From: Richard Bridge
Date: 15 Feb 08 - 07:31 AM

You think the age limit for GODS is too low!

Subject: RE: BS: Official, I know I am getting old when
From: Morticia
Date: 15 Feb 08 - 11:35 AM

I'm too young to join GODS ( only just mind you) but I can practise in the meantime.

Subject: RE: BS: Official, I know I am getting old when
From: theleveller
Date: 15 Feb 08 - 12:07 PM

Morticia, practice makes perfect and I'm sure you'll become a perfect member.

Subject: RE: BS: Official, I know I am getting old when
From: Cats
Date: 15 Feb 08 - 12:32 PM

Jon's Mum decided she was going to grow old disgracefully [now you know where he gets it from!]. On her 75th birthday her husband took her to a very exclusive restaurant. When the waiter came she tasted the wine and started going urgh, pshaw and other 'this is awful' type noises. The Head Wine waiter came rushing over to see what the trouble was and asked what was wrong with the wine, to which she replied, 'nothing, it's just that I've always wanted to do that!' He took it in good part and had a good laugh. I'm just practising. I've bought my first purple outfit!

Subject: RE: BS: Official, I know I am getting old when
From: Don Firth
Date: 15 Feb 08 - 01:07 PM

I was going to type something really clever here, but I forgot what it was. . . .

Don . . . uhh. . . Ah! Firth

Subject: RE: BS: Official, I know I am getting old when
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 15 Feb 08 - 01:16 PM

Poor Don...There are two distinct things that happen to us as we get older...the first being that we forget things...........and the second .............erm.....well.......erm ......what was the second thing?