Obit: my dad

Subject: RE: BS: my dad
From: Bill D
Date: 16 Feb 08 - 02:50 PM

Little I can say that has not been said. Do good things with the best of your memories.

It's never easy.....

Subject: RE: BS: my dad
From: alanabit
Date: 17 Feb 08 - 03:40 AM

It's all been said already. You have my sympathy too though.

Subject: RE: BS: my dad
From: SINSULL
Date: 17 Feb 08 - 09:53 AM

Tami called this morning. The family is planning a memorial service for Monday so she will be down in New Hampshire until Tuesday. Jason is with her and she is doing well. The single most important thing is that she and her father had come to a working relationship over the last fifteen years. He knew she loved him and she knew he loved and respected her.

Tami asked me to thank you for all your support. She is computerless at the moment.
Mary

Subject: RE: BS: my dad
From: maeve
Date: 17 Feb 08 - 12:39 PM

Thank you, Sinsull, for posting the update.

maeve

Subject: RE: BS: my dad
From: Slag
Date: 17 Feb 08 - 05:07 PM

My heart's with you, Ranger. My Dad has now been gone a year and a half and I still miss him so. It is something you never really get over. Time just carries you beyond it. I'm with you and hope you are holding up OK. God bless.

Tom

Subject: RE: BS: my dad
From: Hawker
Date: 17 Feb 08 - 05:36 PM

Tammi! So sorry to hear this, I lost my dad suddenly last year, the shock is terrible and though I didn't visit him half as often as I should when he was alive, maybe 2 or 3 times a year, I miss him terribly. Time is a great healer, don't be embarassed to cry, grieve well, I bottled it up and almost lost the plot, which, now I can see straight, I know he would not have wanted. I talk to him every day, I dont know if he can hear me but it helps. Sending you love and hugs and the strength to get through the early days, my hand id holding yours!
Lucy

Subject: RE: BS: my dad
From: Ebbie
Date: 18 Feb 08 - 03:45 AM

Refresh

Subject: RE: BS: my dad
From: jacqui.c
Date: 18 Feb 08 - 08:49 AM

I spoke to Tami last night. she's holding up, with support from Jason and her family. Spare a thought for her today at the memorial service.

We will be here for her when she gets back to Maine and she knows that she only has to pick up the phone or drop by when she needs us. She will be surrounded by her friends here who can give emotional and practical help through this time.

Subject: RE: BS: my dad
From: katlaughing
Date: 18 Feb 08 - 10:01 AM

Thanks, Jacqui and Sins, for the updates. Still thinking of her and sending lots of love.

Subject: RE: BS: my dad
From: ranger1
Date: 18 Feb 08 - 10:43 AM

Thank you all so much. I'm at my big bro's right now, stupid driveway is too slick to get my truck back out and we're waiting for the sand guy to come. I was supposed to be taking my niece to breakfast. Maybe she'll accept a raincheck for tomorrow.

It's not quite real yet. I think the tough part will be the little things, like calling him on Sunday mornings to tell him all the silly little events of the week, or having coffee with him in the early mornings when I'd visit, going for rides in his 1960 Thunderbird, or just driving around on back roads in his pick-up. My brother and I were talking about it the other day and he feels the same way. And this is one case where I can honestly say I have no regrets and no unfinished business.

The song running through my head the past couple of days has been Dave Carter's "When I Go." When we have the memorial service that Ritch (my brother) and Sue (Dad's significant other) and I had planned originally in the summer, I plan on singing it for him.

Subject: RE: BS: my dad
From: maeve
Date: 18 Feb 08 - 03:43 PM

Hey there Tami. Thank you for your update. Hugs and tears, laughter and a companionable silence are all awaiting you.

Maeve

Subject: RE: BS: my dad
From: Peace
Date: 18 Feb 08 - 03:52 PM

The lyrics were posted by SharonA in July of 2002.

When I Go
© 1998 Dave Carter / Dave Carter Music (BMI)

come, lonely hunter, chieftain and king, i will fly like the falcon when i go
bear me my brother under your wing, i will strike fell like lightning when i go

i will bellow like the thunder drum, invoke the storm of war
a twisting pillar spun of dust and blood up from the prairie floor
i will sweep the foe before me like a gale out on the snow
and the wind will long recount the story, reverence and glory, when i go

spring, spirit dancer, nimble and thin, i will leap like coyote when i go
tireless entrancer, lend me your skin, i will run like the gray wolf when i go

i will climb the rise at daybreak, i will kiss the sky at noon
raise my yearning voice at midnight to my mother in the moon
i will make the lay of long defeat and draw the chorus slow
i'll send this message down the wire and hope that someone wise is listening when i go

and when the sun comes trumpets from his red house in the east
he will find a standing stone where long i chanted my release
he will send his morning messenger to strike the hammer blow
and i will crumble down uncountable in showers of crimson rubies when i go

sigh, mournful sister, whisper and turn, i will rattle like dry leaves when i go
stand in the mist where my fire used to burn, i will camp on the night breeze when i go

and should you glimpse my wandering form out on the borderline
between death and resurrection and the council of the pines
do not worry for my comfort, do not sorrow for me so
all your diamond tears will rise up and adorn the sky beside me when i go

Subject: RE: BS: my dad
From: TRUBRIT
Date: 18 Feb 08 - 08:58 PM

Tami - sorry to be so late coming to this thread. Much love -- what a tough tough year you have had. Hope to see you Saturday for music and good cheer......

Subject: RE: BS: my dad
From: maeve
Date: 18 Feb 08 - 09:22 PM

I just talked with Tami. She is surrounded by loving family and music, and is grateful for the PMs and the empathetic good wishes here. She's a keeper, that one!

maeve

Subject: RE: BS: my dad
From: katlaughing
Date: 18 Feb 08 - 10:26 PM

Thanks for stopping by, Tami. Carter's song is one of my favourites and my family know I want them to play it for me when I go. Just be good to yourself if it becomes too overwhelming to sing it at the service. We'll send all the energy we can to help out.

luvyakat

Subject: RE: Obit: my dad
From: GUEST,KT
Date: 19 Feb 08 - 03:34 AM

Aw, Tami, I'm just now seeing this thread. I'm so sorry. Sending lots of love your way, darlin'.

Take good and gentle care of you.

KT

Subject: RE: Obit: my dad
From: Bryn Pugh
Date: 19 Feb 08 - 04:35 AM

May the Great Mother and the All Father comfort you.

I lost my Da a couple of months before my sixth birthday.

It won't always hurt like this, promise you.

You might find some confort in thinking of him in the Summerlands, free from pain, safe in the arms of the Great Mother, and knowing the loving smile of the All Father.

Subject: RE: Obit: my dad
From: goatfell
Date: 19 Feb 08 - 04:50 AM

My father died suddnly as well, he was out fishing when he was pulled into the water, he was 81 and as near as fit as could it be and I was was on holiday with him at the time in Western Australia, in 2006 and 16 years before also on holiday in Western Australia my mother also died.

So I can understand how sad it is when anyone loses a loved one.

Tom

Subject: RE: Obit: my dad
From: Severn
Date: 19 Feb 08 - 07:04 AM

Yet more thoughts and condolences as you sort out your memories and deal with the pain.

Subject: RE: Obit: my dad
From: Ella who is Sooze
Date: 19 Feb 08 - 07:45 AM

Hi Ranger,

I'm truely sorry,

I lost my dad on 7th February 2007. It's just a year, and it's been a hard year, but it is getting easier. My sincere condolances to you and yours.

My dad was only 63, far far too young. Treasure your memories, talk to those around you, and stay healthy.

EWIS

Subject: RE: Obit: my dad
From: My guru always said
Date: 19 Feb 08 - 08:09 AM

So sorry to hear your news, thinking of you and your family,
Hil

Subject: RE: Obit: my dad
From: Bobert
Date: 19 Feb 08 - 08:22 AM

I'm so sorry for your loss...

May peace grace your familiy during these trying times...

Subject: RE: Obit: my dad
From: Mrrzy
Date: 19 Feb 08 - 09:20 AM

Very, very sorry, sweetie! Love to your family...

Subject: RE: Obit: my dad
From: SINSULL
Date: 19 Feb 08 - 09:47 AM

Tami called last night. There was lots of music and good companionship yesterday. I think the service and family time has helped Tami cope.
She will be home today. Probably grateful to sleep in her own bed.
M

Subject: RE: Obit: my dad
From: GUEST,saulgoldie
Date: 19 Feb 08 - 10:16 AM

Condolences. Thoughts and prayers your way.

Subject: RE: Obit: my dad
From: wysiwyg
Date: 19 Feb 08 - 10:29 AM

Condolences...

In the days ahead, leave a little space in those times that had been your times with him, for the savoring of memories that will come to the surface. Give yourself permission to feel them, and trust that your mind will sort out anything that comes up. Drink lots of water, and remember to put some attention on the unfolding of spring.

And know that you are doing what millions of other human beans have done in their own time, and that the ones you know here at Mudcat are always here to share it with you when you need us.

~Susan

Subject: RE: Obit: my dad
From: GUEST,Bob Ryszkiewicz
Date: 19 Feb 08 - 03:52 PM

May he Rest in Peace...

Subject: RE: Obit: my dad
From: Pistachio
Date: 19 Feb 08 - 04:00 PM

I don't know you. May I offer my condolences and ask you to let your grief out whenever it rises and smile at your happy memories.
I lost my Dad to a heart attack, on his 66th Birthday in 1984. The pain won't go but it will ease. Take care.
I add my 'Mudcat Hugs' too.
Hazel.x

Subject: RE: Obit: my dad
From: Charley Noble
Date: 19 Feb 08 - 04:08 PM

So sorry to hear this, Tami.

62 is far too young to leave this earth. It's difficult not to feel robbed.

My father lived a whole lot longer but I still miss him. The good memories are some comfort.

Charley Noble

Subject: RE: Obit: my dad
From: ranger1
Date: 19 Feb 08 - 06:52 PM

Thank you all so much. I have almost 39 years of good memories, there were a lot of hard times, but we sorted those out 15 years ago. Dad once told me that he felt lucky to have two great kids and that we were not only his kids, but his best friends, too. There is pain now, but I know the pain will fade in time, leaving the love, laughter, and precious memories behind.

Many of my relatives brought old family pictures to the get-together yesterday. There is something comforting about going through old photographs and seeing my dad growing up, his graduation picture from high school, his graduation picture from basic training, and all the snapshots from family gatherings, Christmases, and photos of him with my nieces and nephews and young cousins acting like a big kid himself.

As for the get-together, one cousin brought a guitar and someone else brought a fiddle. There were reels and jigs, bluegrass and country, some Johnny Cash, some old timey stuff and some of my cousins singing spirituals in harmony. Dad would have loved it. Its easy to see where I got my love for music from.

Subject: RE: Obit: my dad
From: Hollowfox
Date: 19 Feb 08 - 08:45 PM

"Good times and hard times, they're all worth the telling..." My condolences for your loss, and my prayers go with you and yours.

Subject: RE: Obit: my dad
From: Raptor
Date: 19 Feb 08 - 10:16 PM

Thoughts and prayers.

Subject: RE: Obit: my dad
From: Alice
Date: 19 Feb 08 - 10:41 PM

Tami, so hard a loss, you have my deepest sympathy.

Alice

Subject: RE: Obit: my dad
From: Donuel
Date: 19 Feb 08 - 11:10 PM

With so many feeling some are bound to be mixed.
drive safe

Subject: RE: Obit: my dad
From: maeve
Date: 19 Feb 08 - 11:16 PM

Welcome home. ((((((((Tami & Jason)))))))

Subject: RE: Obit: my dad
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 20 Feb 08 - 12:31 AM

Ranger, my Dad died in 1993, and it took years before I finally stopped thinking, when confronted with a practical problem that he could usually puzzle out with logic, that I ought to call Dad.

Good healing to you.

Subject: RE: Obit: my dad
From: Rog Peek
Date: 20 Feb 08 - 02:34 PM

Lost my Dad just two years ago. Thoughts are with you.

Rog

Subject: RE: Obit: my dad
From: JudyB
Date: 20 Feb 08 - 02:35 PM

(((((Tami)))))

My deepest sympathy.

   JudyB

Subject: RE: Obit: my dad
From: Ella who is Sooze
Date: 21 Feb 08 - 02:41 AM

I still go to put a place out at the dinner table for dad.

Habits and tradition.

He'll always be close.

EWIS

Subject: RE: Obit: my dad
From: gnu
Date: 21 Feb 08 - 03:35 PM

Tammie... it really struck me when you mentioned those backroad cruises. My dad, who always would have rather been in the woods huntin or fishin or crusin, passed in '83. Whenever we are up country, we tell stories about Dad and we always look upward and say, "Thanks, Dad." You will too. The tears get less with time, but they never go away, thank goodness.