Obit: my dad

Subject: BS: my dad
From: ranger1
Date: 15 Feb 08 - 07:02 AM

My brother called me about 20 minutes ago to tell me that our dad died last night from a massive heart attack. He was only 62. It doesn't seem real yet and I hope it stays that way until I get the 130 miles between here and there. It wasn't always an easy relationship, but it had become a very good one. I miss him already.

Subject: RE: BS: my dad
From: theleveller
Date: 15 Feb 08 - 07:17 AM

You have my sympathy, Ranger, even though I don't know you or your dad. It's a very young age to die – just 3 years older than me. Several of my peer group have died in the last couple of years and it makes you realise that life is not a rehearsal. Perhaps the words 'old age shall not wither them or the years condemn' may be some comfort.

Subject: RE: BS: my dad
From: The PA
Date: 15 Feb 08 - 07:20 AM

So sorry, you must be heartbroken. At least you know it was quick.

Exactly the same happened to me three years ago, on my birthday, as we were all leaving the house for dinner. It does get a bit easier, just takes time. Take all the time you need.

Drive carefully.

Subject: RE: BS: my dad
From: maeve
Date: 15 Feb 08 - 07:36 AM

My dad died just as suddenly, Tami. You will find your own ways of grieving and rejoicing. Please take care of you in the midst of the confusion and sorrow. Let your friends have the honor of listening when you are moved to speak.

Love and prayers,

maeve

Subject: RE: BS: my dad
From: Micca
Date: 15 Feb 08 - 07:41 AM

Tams, I am with you in spirit, if there is anything I can do, please feel free to ask,

Subject: RE: BS: my dad
From: Mooh
Date: 15 Feb 08 - 07:42 AM

Very sorry to hear that. Look after you and yours right now. You have our hopes and prayers.

Peace, Mooh.

Subject: RE: BS: my dad
From: Jeri
Date: 15 Feb 08 - 08:10 AM

Big honkin' hug from me. If I can do anything, please let me know.

Subject: RE: BS: my dad
From: Bee
Date: 15 Feb 08 - 08:29 AM

My sympathies go out to you. It is not easy, losing a parent, and telling you now that it will get better is not likely much comfort.

Subject: RE: BS: my dad
From: Beer
Date: 15 Feb 08 - 08:36 AM

Deepest sympathies to you and your love ones. It won't be easy but you will get through it.
adrien

Subject: RE: BS: my dad
From: Jeanie
Date: 15 Feb 08 - 09:01 AM

So sorry to hear this. Will be thinking of you and your family.

- jeanie

Subject: RE: BS: my dad
From: Big Mick
Date: 15 Feb 08 - 09:12 AM

I am so sorry to hear this, Tammie. Remember your friends are here for you. Your post gives a hint that you will have some things to deal with, and those of us who know you want you to know that we care.

God be good to him,

Mick

Subject: RE: BS: my dad
From: gnu
Date: 15 Feb 08 - 09:21 AM

Thoughts and prayers.

Subject: RE: BS: my dad
From: Megan L
Date: 15 Feb 08 - 09:49 AM

With Gnu on this thoughts and prayers lassie. Hold firmly to good memories let time soften any bad ones and love yourself enough to let them drift like campfire smoke on a gentle breeze.

Dauvitt and his Meg

Subject: RE: BS: my dad
From: fat B****rd
Date: 15 Feb 08 - 09:52 AM

I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. Please accept my best regards and concolences. Charlie

Subject: RE: BS: my dad
From: katlaughing
Date: 15 Feb 08 - 09:59 AM

{{{{{{Tami}}}}} Lots of love and good thoughts sent to you, now. Sometimes folks just have to check out and we'll never understand why, esp. when they are relatively young. May you find comfort in the good parts and let your friends help as we may.

luvyakat

Subject: RE: BS: my dad
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 15 Feb 08 - 10:03 AM

Aw, Tami, when it rains it pours. We go through tough years, then things level out and you'll find you're stronger. But right now it's full-fledged shock. Take time to take care of yourself.

Maggie (SRS)

Subject: RE: BS: my dad
From: GUEST
Date: 15 Feb 08 - 10:03 AM

Sorry to hear of this. My sympathies to you and yours.

Subject: RE: BS: my dad
From: jeffp
Date: 15 Feb 08 - 10:04 AM

The above was me. Don't know where my cookie ran off to. Again, my sincere condolences.

Jeff

Subject: RE: BS: my dad
From: artbrooks
Date: 15 Feb 08 - 10:05 AM

Hugs and tears. There are no good words.

Art

Subject: RE: BS: my dad
From: kendall
Date: 15 Feb 08 - 10:53 AM

Tami stopped here on her way to NH. A couple of bear hugs seemed to bring a smile to her dear face.

Subject: RE: BS: my dad
From: Megan L
Date: 15 Feb 08 - 10:55 AM

No Kendal that wisny a smile it wis a wince when ye broke her ribs :) weel done lad they were backed up by all o us

Subject: RE: BS: my dad
From: Becca72
Date: 15 Feb 08 - 11:08 AM

Oh, Tami...I'm so sorry. Don't hesitate to ask if you need something. And you have full access to my dad whenever you need one!

Subject: RE: BS: my dad
From: Amos
Date: 15 Feb 08 - 11:21 AM

Ach....Tami, hugs and sorrow.

Keep breathing; and if you get the opportunity to send him some last messages, take it. It sometimes happens...


A

Subject: RE: BS: my dad
From: Ebbie
Date: 15 Feb 08 - 11:21 AM

(((((Tami)))))

Subject: RE: BS: my dad
From: open mike
Date: 15 Feb 08 - 11:26 AM

you have been through so much....
hang in there, be strong, and also
take time to NOT be strong when
you need to -- and let others
help -- don't be afraid to ask
for help....people will often say
"if there is anything I can do to
help" but they don't know WHAT to
do. I am glad you are getting hugs..
more hugs here: {{{ranger}}}

time will heal.

Subject: RE: BS: my dad
From: bfdk
Date: 15 Feb 08 - 11:29 AM

Becca, if you're selling that dad of yours on shares, I want a couple, too!!

Tami, I'm so sorry to hear your news, it's the most dreadful wake-up call you can get when someone calls to tell you you've lost a parent.

There are no words that will make it easier, and so I won't resort to platitudes. Just know that I'm thinking of you and wishing you strength to face what lies ahead. A big hug from your mate in Denmark,

Bente

Subject: RE: BS: my dad
From: Morticia
Date: 15 Feb 08 - 11:32 AM

(((((((hugs))))))

Subject: RE: BS: my dad
From: Leadfingers
Date: 15 Feb 08 - 11:38 AM

Deepest Sympathy Tami

Subject: RE: BS: my dad
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Feb 08 - 11:48 AM

There's nothing I can do or say except that my thoughts are with you.

Subject: RE: BS: my dad
From: Partridge
Date: 15 Feb 08 - 01:48 PM

I'm thinking of you Tami, its a horrible place to be in. I cant give you a hug physically but please know that I am mentally. Think all the happy memories of your Dad. Breathe.

love

Pat xx

Subject: RE: BS: my dad
From: AllisonA(Animaterra)
Date: 15 Feb 08 - 02:37 PM

Oh, Tami, I'm sending light and love your way during this dark time. Take care, my dear.

Subject: RE: BS: my dad
From: skarpi
Date: 15 Feb 08 - 02:59 PM

Hallo Tami , I am sorry to hear this , but hugs and lights
from us here in Iceland ,

all the best from Skarpi Iceland
P.s travel save .

Subject: RE: BS: my dad
From: SINSULL
Date: 15 Feb 08 - 03:06 PM

Tami,
I just left a message on your machine. I am sorry this happened and that it happened so suddenly. Anything at all - just call and say it. Don't ask. You don't have to.
Let Jason look after you over the next couple of days.
Love,
Mary

Subject: RE: BS: my dad
From: SINSULL
Date: 15 Feb 08 - 03:06 PM

Jacqui is thinking of you and will call as soon as she can.
M

Subject: RE: BS: my dad
From: topical tom
Date: 15 Feb 08 - 04:54 PM

My sympathies, thoughts and prayers are with you.

Subject: RE: BS: my dad
From: SussexCarole
Date: 15 Feb 08 - 05:00 PM

So sorry to hear this news. We're thinking of you & your family Tami. Love & hugs from us both
Carole & Andrew xx

Subject: RE: BS: my dad
From: skipy
Date: 15 Feb 08 - 05:25 PM

So sorry to read this thread, take care of yourself during these troubled times.
Skipy

Subject: RE: BS: my dad
From: Irish sergeant
Date: 15 Feb 08 - 05:47 PM

My deepest condolences to you and your family. Neil

Subject: RE: BS: my dad
From: Tinker
Date: 15 Feb 08 - 06:31 PM

Just opened this thread and stopped. You know there are ears ready to hear you whenever you need. Til then cyber hugs will have to do...
((((Tami))))

Love and Light
tink

Subject: RE: BS: my dad
From: ClaireBear
Date: 15 Feb 08 - 07:00 PM

Me too. Sorrow and love, my dear.

((((Tami))))

Claire

Subject: RE: BS: my dad
From: Maryrrf
Date: 15 Feb 08 - 07:04 PM

I am so sorry to hear this Tami. Deepest condolences.

Subject: RE: BS: my dad
From: Barry Finn
Date: 15 Feb 08 - 10:52 PM

So sorry Tammie, lots of hugs & squeezes, oh, stop that. All my best to you

Barry

Subject: RE: BS: my dad
From: Janie
Date: 15 Feb 08 - 11:41 PM

Oh no Tami. I'm so very, very sorry. Holding you close in my heart and mind.

Janie

Subject: RE: BS: my dad
From: catspaw49
Date: 16 Feb 08 - 12:21 AM

Late to this thread Tammie, but I am so sorry.......Nothing makes this anything but hard for you but take whatever we all have to offer and know the thoughts and hugs are real, even if virtual.

Much Love......Many Hugs

Pat

Subject: RE: BS: my dad
From: maeve
Date: 16 Feb 08 - 05:51 AM

Good morning, Tami. Thinking of you and yours this morning.

maeve

Subject: RE: BS: my dad
From: Jean(eanjay)
Date: 16 Feb 08 - 08:53 AM

Tami, I'm sorry to hear this sad news.

Thoughts and prayers sent from North Yorkshire.

Take care.

Jean

Subject: RE: BS: my dad
From: Cats
Date: 16 Feb 08 - 11:07 AM

My Dad died when I was just 18 years old, at the age of 54. Jon's dad died suddenly last year and we were 250 miles away. Whatever age or how many miles makes no difference. He's still your dad. Remember the good times.

Subject: RE: BS: my dad
From: maeve
Date: 16 Feb 08 - 12:03 PM

((((((((((Tami and family))))))))


maeve

Subject: RE: BS: my dad
From: LilyFestre
Date: 16 Feb 08 - 12:23 PM

((((((((((((Hugs and Prayers to you and your family))))))))))))))

Michelle

Subject: RE: BS: my dad
From: George Papavgeris
Date: 16 Feb 08 - 01:12 PM

Heartfelt condolences.
Be glad that he went quickly and did not suffer, and that you did not witness it.
Above all be glad that you had him for 62 years and that your relationship had been good at the end.
Celebrate the miracle of his life, and continuing living as if he can see you.
Learn to smile at his photograph once in a while. Not for him. For you.

Subject: RE: BS: my dad
From: Bill D
Date: 16 Feb 08 - 02:50 PM

Little I can say that has not been said. Do good things with the best of your memories.

It's never easy.....

Subject: RE: BS: my dad
From: alanabit
Date: 17 Feb 08 - 03:40 AM

It's all been said already. You have my sympathy too though.

Subject: RE: BS: my dad
From: SINSULL
Date: 17 Feb 08 - 09:53 AM

Tami called this morning. The family is planning a memorial service for Monday so she will be down in New Hampshire until Tuesday. Jason is with her and she is doing well. The single most important thing is that she and her father had come to a working relationship over the last fifteen years. He knew she loved him and she knew he loved and respected her.

Tami asked me to thank you for all your support. She is computerless at the moment.
Mary

Subject: RE: BS: my dad
From: maeve
Date: 17 Feb 08 - 12:39 PM

Thank you, Sinsull, for posting the update.

maeve

Subject: RE: BS: my dad
From: Slag
Date: 17 Feb 08 - 05:07 PM

My heart's with you, Ranger. My Dad has now been gone a year and a half and I still miss him so. It is something you never really get over. Time just carries you beyond it. I'm with you and hope you are holding up OK. God bless.

Tom

Subject: RE: BS: my dad
From: Hawker
Date: 17 Feb 08 - 05:36 PM

Tammi! So sorry to hear this, I lost my dad suddenly last year, the shock is terrible and though I didn't visit him half as often as I should when he was alive, maybe 2 or 3 times a year, I miss him terribly. Time is a great healer, don't be embarassed to cry, grieve well, I bottled it up and almost lost the plot, which, now I can see straight, I know he would not have wanted. I talk to him every day, I dont know if he can hear me but it helps. Sending you love and hugs and the strength to get through the early days, my hand id holding yours!
Lucy

Subject: RE: BS: my dad
From: Ebbie
Date: 18 Feb 08 - 03:45 AM

Refresh

Subject: RE: BS: my dad
From: jacqui.c
Date: 18 Feb 08 - 08:49 AM

I spoke to Tami last night. she's holding up, with support from Jason and her family. Spare a thought for her today at the memorial service.

We will be here for her when she gets back to Maine and she knows that she only has to pick up the phone or drop by when she needs us. She will be surrounded by her friends here who can give emotional and practical help through this time.

Subject: RE: BS: my dad
From: katlaughing
Date: 18 Feb 08 - 10:01 AM

Thanks, Jacqui and Sins, for the updates. Still thinking of her and sending lots of love.

Subject: RE: BS: my dad
From: ranger1
Date: 18 Feb 08 - 10:43 AM

Thank you all so much. I'm at my big bro's right now, stupid driveway is too slick to get my truck back out and we're waiting for the sand guy to come. I was supposed to be taking my niece to breakfast. Maybe she'll accept a raincheck for tomorrow.

It's not quite real yet. I think the tough part will be the little things, like calling him on Sunday mornings to tell him all the silly little events of the week, or having coffee with him in the early mornings when I'd visit, going for rides in his 1960 Thunderbird, or just driving around on back roads in his pick-up. My brother and I were talking about it the other day and he feels the same way. And this is one case where I can honestly say I have no regrets and no unfinished business.

The song running through my head the past couple of days has been Dave Carter's "When I Go." When we have the memorial service that Ritch (my brother) and Sue (Dad's significant other) and I had planned originally in the summer, I plan on singing it for him.

Subject: RE: BS: my dad
From: maeve
Date: 18 Feb 08 - 03:43 PM

Hey there Tami. Thank you for your update. Hugs and tears, laughter and a companionable silence are all awaiting you.

Maeve

Subject: RE: BS: my dad
From: Peace
Date: 18 Feb 08 - 03:52 PM

The lyrics were posted by SharonA in July of 2002.

When I Go
© 1998 Dave Carter / Dave Carter Music (BMI)

come, lonely hunter, chieftain and king, i will fly like the falcon when i go
bear me my brother under your wing, i will strike fell like lightning when i go

i will bellow like the thunder drum, invoke the storm of war
a twisting pillar spun of dust and blood up from the prairie floor
i will sweep the foe before me like a gale out on the snow
and the wind will long recount the story, reverence and glory, when i go

spring, spirit dancer, nimble and thin, i will leap like coyote when i go
tireless entrancer, lend me your skin, i will run like the gray wolf when i go

i will climb the rise at daybreak, i will kiss the sky at noon
raise my yearning voice at midnight to my mother in the moon
i will make the lay of long defeat and draw the chorus slow
i'll send this message down the wire and hope that someone wise is listening when i go

and when the sun comes trumpets from his red house in the east
he will find a standing stone where long i chanted my release
he will send his morning messenger to strike the hammer blow
and i will crumble down uncountable in showers of crimson rubies when i go

sigh, mournful sister, whisper and turn, i will rattle like dry leaves when i go
stand in the mist where my fire used to burn, i will camp on the night breeze when i go

and should you glimpse my wandering form out on the borderline
between death and resurrection and the council of the pines
do not worry for my comfort, do not sorrow for me so
all your diamond tears will rise up and adorn the sky beside me when i go

Subject: RE: BS: my dad
From: TRUBRIT
Date: 18 Feb 08 - 08:58 PM

Tami - sorry to be so late coming to this thread. Much love -- what a tough tough year you have had. Hope to see you Saturday for music and good cheer......

Subject: RE: BS: my dad
From: maeve
Date: 18 Feb 08 - 09:22 PM

I just talked with Tami. She is surrounded by loving family and music, and is grateful for the PMs and the empathetic good wishes here. She's a keeper, that one!

maeve

Subject: RE: BS: my dad
From: katlaughing
Date: 18 Feb 08 - 10:26 PM

Thanks for stopping by, Tami. Carter's song is one of my favourites and my family know I want them to play it for me when I go. Just be good to yourself if it becomes too overwhelming to sing it at the service. We'll send all the energy we can to help out.

luvyakat

Subject: RE: Obit: my dad
From: GUEST,KT
Date: 19 Feb 08 - 03:34 AM

Aw, Tami, I'm just now seeing this thread. I'm so sorry. Sending lots of love your way, darlin'.

Take good and gentle care of you.

KT

Subject: RE: Obit: my dad
From: Bryn Pugh
Date: 19 Feb 08 - 04:35 AM

May the Great Mother and the All Father comfort you.

I lost my Da a couple of months before my sixth birthday.

It won't always hurt like this, promise you.

You might find some confort in thinking of him in the Summerlands, free from pain, safe in the arms of the Great Mother, and knowing the loving smile of the All Father.

Subject: RE: Obit: my dad
From: goatfell
Date: 19 Feb 08 - 04:50 AM

My father died suddnly as well, he was out fishing when he was pulled into the water, he was 81 and as near as fit as could it be and I was was on holiday with him at the time in Western Australia, in 2006 and 16 years before also on holiday in Western Australia my mother also died.

So I can understand how sad it is when anyone loses a loved one.

Tom

Subject: RE: Obit: my dad
From: Severn
Date: 19 Feb 08 - 07:04 AM

Yet more thoughts and condolences as you sort out your memories and deal with the pain.

Subject: RE: Obit: my dad
From: Ella who is Sooze
Date: 19 Feb 08 - 07:45 AM

Hi Ranger,

I'm truely sorry,

I lost my dad on 7th February 2007. It's just a year, and it's been a hard year, but it is getting easier. My sincere condolances to you and yours.

My dad was only 63, far far too young. Treasure your memories, talk to those around you, and stay healthy.

EWIS

Subject: RE: Obit: my dad
From: My guru always said
Date: 19 Feb 08 - 08:09 AM

So sorry to hear your news, thinking of you and your family,
Hil

Subject: RE: Obit: my dad
From: Bobert
Date: 19 Feb 08 - 08:22 AM

I'm so sorry for your loss...

May peace grace your familiy during these trying times...

Subject: RE: Obit: my dad
From: Mrrzy
Date: 19 Feb 08 - 09:20 AM

Very, very sorry, sweetie! Love to your family...

Subject: RE: Obit: my dad
From: SINSULL
Date: 19 Feb 08 - 09:47 AM

Tami called last night. There was lots of music and good companionship yesterday. I think the service and family time has helped Tami cope.
She will be home today. Probably grateful to sleep in her own bed.
M

Subject: RE: Obit: my dad
From: GUEST,saulgoldie
Date: 19 Feb 08 - 10:16 AM

Condolences. Thoughts and prayers your way.

Subject: RE: Obit: my dad
From: wysiwyg
Date: 19 Feb 08 - 10:29 AM

Condolences...

In the days ahead, leave a little space in those times that had been your times with him, for the savoring of memories that will come to the surface. Give yourself permission to feel them, and trust that your mind will sort out anything that comes up. Drink lots of water, and remember to put some attention on the unfolding of spring.

And know that you are doing what millions of other human beans have done in their own time, and that the ones you know here at Mudcat are always here to share it with you when you need us.

~Susan

Subject: RE: Obit: my dad
From: GUEST,Bob Ryszkiewicz
Date: 19 Feb 08 - 03:52 PM

May he Rest in Peace...

Subject: RE: Obit: my dad
From: Pistachio
Date: 19 Feb 08 - 04:00 PM

I don't know you. May I offer my condolences and ask you to let your grief out whenever it rises and smile at your happy memories.
I lost my Dad to a heart attack, on his 66th Birthday in 1984. The pain won't go but it will ease. Take care.
I add my 'Mudcat Hugs' too.
Hazel.x

Subject: RE: Obit: my dad
From: Charley Noble
Date: 19 Feb 08 - 04:08 PM

So sorry to hear this, Tami.

62 is far too young to leave this earth. It's difficult not to feel robbed.

My father lived a whole lot longer but I still miss him. The good memories are some comfort.

Charley Noble

Subject: RE: Obit: my dad
From: ranger1
Date: 19 Feb 08 - 06:52 PM

Thank you all so much. I have almost 39 years of good memories, there were a lot of hard times, but we sorted those out 15 years ago. Dad once told me that he felt lucky to have two great kids and that we were not only his kids, but his best friends, too. There is pain now, but I know the pain will fade in time, leaving the love, laughter, and precious memories behind.

Many of my relatives brought old family pictures to the get-together yesterday. There is something comforting about going through old photographs and seeing my dad growing up, his graduation picture from high school, his graduation picture from basic training, and all the snapshots from family gatherings, Christmases, and photos of him with my nieces and nephews and young cousins acting like a big kid himself.

As for the get-together, one cousin brought a guitar and someone else brought a fiddle. There were reels and jigs, bluegrass and country, some Johnny Cash, some old timey stuff and some of my cousins singing spirituals in harmony. Dad would have loved it. Its easy to see where I got my love for music from.

Subject: RE: Obit: my dad
From: Hollowfox
Date: 19 Feb 08 - 08:45 PM

"Good times and hard times, they're all worth the telling..." My condolences for your loss, and my prayers go with you and yours.

Subject: RE: Obit: my dad
From: Raptor
Date: 19 Feb 08 - 10:16 PM

Thoughts and prayers.

Subject: RE: Obit: my dad
From: Alice
Date: 19 Feb 08 - 10:41 PM

Tami, so hard a loss, you have my deepest sympathy.

Alice

Subject: RE: Obit: my dad
From: Donuel
Date: 19 Feb 08 - 11:10 PM

With so many feeling some are bound to be mixed.
drive safe

Subject: RE: Obit: my dad
From: maeve
Date: 19 Feb 08 - 11:16 PM

Welcome home. ((((((((Tami & Jason)))))))

Subject: RE: Obit: my dad
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 20 Feb 08 - 12:31 AM

Ranger, my Dad died in 1993, and it took years before I finally stopped thinking, when confronted with a practical problem that he could usually puzzle out with logic, that I ought to call Dad.

Good healing to you.

Subject: RE: Obit: my dad
From: Rog Peek
Date: 20 Feb 08 - 02:34 PM

Lost my Dad just two years ago. Thoughts are with you.

Rog

Subject: RE: Obit: my dad
From: JudyB
Date: 20 Feb 08 - 02:35 PM

(((((Tami)))))

My deepest sympathy.

   JudyB

Subject: RE: Obit: my dad
From: Ella who is Sooze
Date: 21 Feb 08 - 02:41 AM

I still go to put a place out at the dinner table for dad.

Habits and tradition.

He'll always be close.

EWIS

Subject: RE: Obit: my dad
From: gnu
Date: 21 Feb 08 - 03:35 PM

Tammie... it really struck me when you mentioned those backroad cruises. My dad, who always would have rather been in the woods huntin or fishin or crusin, passed in '83. Whenever we are up country, we tell stories about Dad and we always look upward and say, "Thanks, Dad." You will too. The tears get less with time, but they never go away, thank goodness.