Lyrics & Knowledge Personal Pages Record Shop Auction Links Radio & Media Kids Membership Help
The Mudcat Cafesj

Post to this Thread - Sort Descending - Printer Friendly - Home


Lyr Add: Eliot Spitzer Talking Blues

DigiTrad:
ARKANSAS HARD LUCK BLUES
DYING CUB FAN'S LAST REQUEST
LIFE GETS TEEJUS, DON'T IT?
OLD MAN ATOM (Atomic Talking Blues/Talking Atom)
ORIGINAL TALKING BLUES
TALKIN BEAR MOUNTAIN PICNIC MASSACRE BLUES
TALKING ATOMIC BLUES
TALKING BIRMINGHAM JAM
TALKING BLUES
TALKING CANDY BAR BLUES
TALKING DUST BOWL BLUES
TALKING FOLK MUSICIAN PURIST SNOB BLUES
TALKING GUITAR BLUES
TALKING NEW YORK BLUES
TALKING REINCARNATED DRAFTEE BLUES
TALKING UNAMERICAN BLUES
TALKING VIETNAM POT-LUCK BLUES
THE RV BLUES


Related threads:
Lyr Req: Talking Nothin' Blues (14)
Lyr Add: Talkin' Scoutmaster Blues (3)
Funniest Talking Blues Song (89)
Chris Bouchillon - Talking Blues (11)
Lyr Req: Talking Vietnam Potluck Blues (Tom Paxton (10)
(origins) Origins: 'Talkin' Songs (Bob Dylan, PP&M and...) (22)
Tune Req: Talking Blues Questions (16)
Lyr Req: Talking Cancer Blues (Dave Van Ronk) (7)
Lyr Req: Walkin' Guitar Blues/Talking Guitar Blues (10)
(origins) Origins: Talking Rent Blues (3)
Lyr Req: Talking Guitar Blues (17)
Rap and Talking Blues (16)
Lyr Req: Mean Talking Blues (Woody Guthrie) (74)
Tune Req: Talking Blues tab (9)
Lyr Req: Talking Integration? (2)
Origins: Talking Union (13)
Lyr Req: British talking blues: cowboy in London (4)
Lyr Req: Born in Hard Luck (Chris Bouchillon) (13)
Tune Req: Talking Blues (guitar tab) (10)
Lyr Req: Talking Kinzua Dam (3)
Help: talking blues guitar playing (8)
Lyr Add: Talking Undertaker Blues (1)
Lyr Add: East Texas Talking Blues (4)
Lyr Req: Talking Candy Bar Blues (Paul Stookey) (7)
Lyr Req:Talkin Bear Mountain Picnic Massacre Blues (2)


Stewart 10 Mar 08 - 08:00 PM
Deckman 10 Mar 08 - 08:13 PM
Peace 10 Mar 08 - 08:16 PM
Deckman 10 Mar 08 - 08:19 PM
Peace 10 Mar 08 - 08:21 PM
Stewart 10 Mar 08 - 08:22 PM
Deckman 10 Mar 08 - 08:39 PM
Peace 10 Mar 08 - 08:40 PM
Deckman 10 Mar 08 - 09:26 PM
EBarnacle 10 Mar 08 - 09:28 PM
Stewart 11 Mar 08 - 01:18 PM
Desert Dancer 11 Mar 08 - 05:17 PM
Deckman 11 Mar 08 - 06:22 PM
Stewart 11 Mar 08 - 07:35 PM
wilkosgod 11 Mar 08 - 07:41 PM
Reiver 2 11 Mar 08 - 08:24 PM
Charley Noble 11 Mar 08 - 08:28 PM
pdq 11 Mar 08 - 09:11 PM
Charley Noble 12 Mar 08 - 08:18 AM
Deckman 12 Mar 08 - 08:32 AM
Charley Noble 12 Mar 08 - 09:41 AM
Deckman 12 Mar 08 - 09:54 AM
Charley Noble 12 Mar 08 - 10:07 AM
Deckman 12 Mar 08 - 10:09 AM
topical tom 12 Mar 08 - 10:36 AM
Stewart 12 Mar 08 - 12:24 PM
Deckman 12 Mar 08 - 12:31 PM
GUEST,TJ in San Diego 12 Mar 08 - 12:59 PM
Reiver 2 12 Mar 08 - 01:30 PM
Charley Noble 12 Mar 08 - 02:34 PM
topical tom 12 Mar 08 - 11:11 PM
Charley Noble 13 Mar 08 - 08:26 AM
Amos 13 Mar 08 - 10:43 AM
Charley Noble 13 Mar 08 - 11:23 AM
topical tom 13 Mar 08 - 11:38 AM
GUEST,Chicken Charlie 13 Mar 08 - 11:48 AM
Amos 13 Mar 08 - 11:59 AM
Charley Noble 13 Mar 08 - 10:22 PM
Charley Noble 14 Mar 08 - 09:47 PM
Share Thread
more
Lyrics & Knowledge Search [Advanced]
DT  Forum
Sort (Forum) by:relevance date
DT Lyrics:







Subject: Lyr Add: THE ELIOT SPITZER TALKING BLUES
From: Stewart
Date: 10 Mar 08 - 08:00 PM

THE ELIOT SPITZER TALKING BLUES
collaboration by Stewart and Deckman

If you want to get in trouble,
Let me tell you how to do it,
Just become a politician,
Then you're soon to be into it.

Don't run on a plank that's squeaky and clean,
If you can't stay away from a downtown queen,
'Cause people come a-lookin' ..
Causing trouble ... bastards all!
'Cause sooner or later
You'll take that fall
Down on your ass
Without any class.

Feet of clay and brains of hay
You'll soon regret that very day
You thought that you could get away
With what you want
Let the other guy pay.

Take a lesson from Larry
Whose stance was quite scary
In the airport john
He thought he was on
To a little thrill
He fell for the sting.

And now there is Spitzer
It wasn't his sister
He called on the phone
With the FBI list'ner
He got caught on the tap
Well how about that?


Cheers, S. in Seattle
who with Bob had too much time on his hands today


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Eliot Spitzer Talking Blues
From: Deckman
Date: 10 Mar 08 - 08:13 PM

Maybe I had too much time on my hands today ... but at least they're clean! CHEERS


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Eliot Spitzer Talking Blues
From: Peace
Date: 10 Mar 08 - 08:16 PM

Good one, guys. Gives new meaning to topical.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Eliot Spitzer Talking Blues
From: Deckman
Date: 10 Mar 08 - 08:19 PM

Or "typical!"


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Eliot Spitzer Talking Blues
From: Peace
Date: 10 Mar 08 - 08:21 PM

As a topical song, it don't get much "hotter off the press" than that. Good work.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Eliot Spitzer Talking Blues
From: Stewart
Date: 10 Mar 08 - 08:22 PM

Timing is everything!

Cheers, S. in Seattle


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Eliot Spitzer Talking Blues
From: Deckman
Date: 10 Mar 08 - 08:39 PM

I hear that from wife ALL the time. I don't don't understand what she means?


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Eliot Spitzer Talking Blues
From: Peace
Date: 10 Mar 08 - 08:40 PM

Listen. If 3.21 seconds isn't good enough . . . .


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Eliot Spitzer Talking Blues
From: Deckman
Date: 10 Mar 08 - 09:26 PM

"It's an old story, that everyone knows,
we've all feet of clay, and sometimes it shows,
There's no surprise in this kinda thing,
It certainly has a familiar ring,

You rise to the top, where the air is thin,
and kinda sit there, and grin,
'till it all tumbles down and you land with a plop,
All because of a stoopid cop!

... why ... it's enough to discourage you"


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Eliot Spitzer Talking Blues
From: EBarnacle
Date: 10 Mar 08 - 09:28 PM

It isn't his hands that got him into trouble.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Eliot Spitzer Talking Blues
From: Stewart
Date: 11 Mar 08 - 01:18 PM

What were they thinking?
Why did they do it?
Interesting article.

Politics, and Scandal, as Usual
By N. R. KLEINFIELD
NY Times, March 11, 2008

It keeps happening. Recklessly, shamelessly, cavalierly — as if this time they're the ones who will somehow manage to get away with it all.

But they don't.

Congressmen, senators, governors, presidents, mayors — politicians at all levels keep starring in this familiar and non-partisan soap opera rerun. They engage in clandestine sexual entanglements, commonly cloaked in the tawdry textures of hotel pseudonyms and airport bathrooms and pay-by-the-hour copulation. All too often, their stealthy frolics then poison their political careers.
....

Cheers, S. in Seattle


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Eliot Spitzer Talking Blues
From: Desert Dancer
Date: 11 Mar 08 - 05:17 PM

If only they didn't play so much holier than thou... but that's what makes a better folk song, I guess.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Eliot Spitzer Talking Blues
From: Deckman
Date: 11 Mar 08 - 06:22 PM

Good material Stew ... but it doesn't RHYME! Bob


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Eliot Spitzer Talking Blues
From: Stewart
Date: 11 Mar 08 - 07:35 PM

Plenty material
For many a song
Many there are
And many go wrong


So there, Bob!

Cheers, S. in Seattle


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Eliot Spitzer Talking Blues
From: wilkosgod
Date: 11 Mar 08 - 07:41 PM

I'm trying to come up with a limerick, but can't think of anything that rhymes with Spitzer! Mixer? Blitzer? Fixer?


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Eliot Spitzer Talking Blues
From: Reiver 2
Date: 11 Mar 08 - 08:24 PM

How about CNN's Wolf Blitzer if you really need a rhyme. Ought to be able to work him into the "outing" of the story.

Re. Stewart's post: We only hear about these little adventures when it happens to "public" figures such as politicians. For every one of those there are hundreds of "lesser known" people involved in the same activities. The main thing that sets off Spitzer's folly -- though it certainly would also apply to Craig, Foley and televangelists like Swaggert and Baker -- is the degree of hypocrisy involved on their parts. That's what really sets them off from those who haven't made a career out of opposing the same actions by thousands of others who are not as well known.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Eliot Spitzer Talking Blues
From: Charley Noble
Date: 11 Mar 08 - 08:28 PM

As Woody used to say:

"I don't care much for dictators but there are times when I think this whole country should be run by e-lec-tri-ci-ty!"

Good work, lads!

Cheerily,
Charley Noble


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Eliot Spitzer Talking Blues
From: pdq
Date: 11 Mar 08 - 09:11 PM

It seems that the "agency" he got women from just called Spitzer "Client #9".

Does anyone want to go back to the Roger Miller classic "Engine, Engine #9" and do a parody?


With appologies to Roger Miller...

          Client, Client number nine.
      
          coming down the . . .



(I ain't no poet. so someone else will have to do this.)


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Eliot Spitzer Talking Blues
From: Charley Noble
Date: 12 Mar 08 - 08:18 AM

pdq-

I had a similar thought this morning, but a parody of Carson J. Robison's old classic, first recorded by Vernon Dalhart, 1927. Here's a slightly rewritten first verse:

The Wreck of Old Number 9

On a cold winter's night, not a star was in sight,
And the north wind kept howlin' down the line,
Came a call girl so dear, on a mission so drear,
With her orders to pull old Number Nine.

Cheerily,
Charley Noble


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Eliot Spitzer Talking Blues
From: Deckman
Date: 12 Mar 08 - 08:32 AM

"As she sped round a hill, her brave heart stood still,
For there she saw, standing alone,
A rich lonely man, with his heart in his hand,
Who asked her if she had brought the pill!"

CHEERS, Bob


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Eliot Spitzer Talking Blues
From: Charley Noble
Date: 12 Mar 08 - 09:41 AM

Bob-

Lovely!

Now he was feelin' swell, as he called her on his cell,
That he'd booked her room at the Mayflower Hotel;
But he was most perplexed when she said "If you want sex,
You'll have to wear a condom on your pointelle."

Cheerily,
Charley Noble


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Eliot Spitzer Talking Blues
From: Deckman
Date: 12 Mar 08 - 09:54 AM

"He fell to his knees, and begged her to please,
Relieve him of this necessary chore,
After all, he said, I've been properly bred,
And it's something that I never have wore."

Bob


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Eliot Spitzer Talking Blues
From: Charley Noble
Date: 12 Mar 08 - 10:07 AM

Bob-

You have my permission to send the whole thing off to Public (pubic?) Radio. I can just hear your voice leading it, backed up with some tasteful flat-picking. Don't forget the line about "when you hear that whistle blow."

Got to run. There's a train I've got to catch!

Cheerily,
Charley Noble


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Eliot Spitzer Talking Blues
From: Deckman
Date: 12 Mar 08 - 10:09 AM

Be careful going around the hill! Bob


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Eliot Spitzer Talking Blues
From: topical tom
Date: 12 Mar 08 - 10:36 AM

He went to the Mayfair and walked right in
   To meet Cristen for an evening of sin
   But a paper trail led to his demise.
   A politician caught? What a surprise!
   So because of this pecadillo spread in the news
   I'm singing these Eliot Spitzer blues.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Eliot Spitzer Talking Blues
From: Stewart
Date: 12 Mar 08 - 12:24 PM

Oh once a politician named Spitzer,
To a journalist lad known as Blitzer,
Declared to be clean,
But slept with the Queen
Of Tarts, he was known as Client 9 Sir.

Well, it rhymes...

Cheers, S. in Seattle


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Eliot Spitzer Talking Blues
From: Deckman
Date: 12 Mar 08 - 12:31 PM

Ya ... but it's a strectch! bob


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Eliot Spitzer Talking Blues
From: GUEST,TJ in San Diego
Date: 12 Mar 08 - 12:59 PM

Hy-poc-ris-y
Night and day it tortures me.
I cannot abide it,
Since Eliot tried it.

He was duly elected,
And duly sworn in.
Now he's duly exposed,
For his serial sin.

The poor wife's in mourning,
The poor daughters too,
While the high-flyin' pol
Is knee-deep in poo!

Don't ya love hypocrites?
Ain't he a peach?
First he'd go sinnin,'
And then he'd go preach.

Doin' as he does,
and not as he says,
The "Gov's" demonstrated
His profligate ways.

So take a good lesson,
You political hacks,
Who don't think we'll care
'Bout the stains on your plaques.

If it's power you're after,
Beware what you seek.
Cause when it corrupts you,
You're up a brown creek.

So here's your petard,
You have hoist yourself by it.
And, if you're still sellin',
There'll be no one to buy it!


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Eliot Spitzer Talking Blues
From: Reiver 2
Date: 12 Mar 08 - 01:30 PM

In-CRED-i-ble!! Hope someone will put this all together!

Slainte!
R2


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Eliot Spitzer Talking Blues
From: Charley Noble
Date: 12 Mar 08 - 02:34 PM

Well, there are at least four tunes running now. Here's verse #2 for above:

As the train roll'd along the wheels hummed this song,
"New York to DC, on the short line to sin!"
The smoke from the stack was lookin' mighty black,
And the lady at the throttle was Deep-Throat Kristen.

Cheerily,
Charley Noble


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Eliot Spitzer Talking Blues
From: topical tom
Date: 12 Mar 08 - 11:11 PM

In the Mayfair in the evening,
    Not to dance nor not to dine
    Kristen waited with breath baited
    For her lover, 'Client 9'.

    Oh my darling, oh my darling, oh my darling Client 9
    You are screwed and gone forever,
    Dreadful sorry , Client 9.

   To the tune of "Clementine"


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Eliot Spitzer Talking Blues
From: Charley Noble
Date: 13 Mar 08 - 08:26 AM

Topical Tom-

The possibilities are, indeed, endless!

Where is Amos when he's needed?

Charley Noble


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Eliot Spitzer Talking Blues
From: Amos
Date: 13 Mar 08 - 10:43 AM

I took my troubles down to Madame Wu
She said she knew what I should do
Just make a money transfer on the telephone line
And we can make you happy --
You're client Number Nine.

I told her that I needed someone quite discreet!
I didn't want some hooker fresh in off the street!
She said, now doncha worry, we're gonna treat you fine.
Just wire in the money now
You're Client Number Nine.

She told me that she didn't ever deal in dreck.
She said this little lass would treat me right, by heck,
She emailed me a picture and I fell on the deck--
I grabbed a pen, I closed my eyes,
I wrote a check!

I didn't know if it was day or night.
There musta been some detail that I didn't play right.
'Cuz now I've lost my job, and I'm paying up the fine,
That comes from signing up to be
Ex-CLient Number Nine
Ex-Client Number Nine
Ex-Client Number Nine....


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Eliot Spitzer Talking Blues
From: Charley Noble
Date: 13 Mar 08 - 11:23 AM

And another fine song floats to the surface (which some might characterize as pond scum!).

I wonder if anyone can do anything with the concept:

Now, when I'm long gone
You can make my tombstone
Out of number nine coal.

Cheerily,
Charley Noble


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Eliot Spitzer Talking Blues
From: topical tom
Date: 13 Mar 08 - 11:38 AM

Good one, Amos! LOL!


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Eliot Spitzer Talking Blues
From: GUEST,Chicken Charlie
Date: 13 Mar 08 - 11:48 AM

And who says the folk process is dead? I think it says something almost worthwhile that so many of us have chosen totally different but equally valid models for the parody. [Spock, raising one eyebrow: "Fascinating."]

Here's my presumptuous remix on your Limerick--

A rash politician named Spitzer
Has a squeeze with a rep that just fits her.
He said he was clean,
But he slept with this queen,
And now he's been dissed by Wolf Blitzer.

CC


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Eliot Spitzer Talking Blues
From: Amos
Date: 13 Mar 08 - 11:59 AM

A pretty young wanna-be singer,
Had a link to the Governor's dinger.
She said, very cooly,
I won't treat you cruelly!
But she hauled the poor guy through the wringer!


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Eliot Spitzer Talking Blues
From: Charley Noble
Date: 13 Mar 08 - 10:22 PM

Unfortunately the window of opportunity for becoming filthy rich by composing an appropriate ditty about Eliot Spitzer is rapidly closing. However, that will not discourage our intrepid band of mudcatters who relish non-remunerative creative effort.

I note in that respect that No. 9 coal is also mentioned in "Sixteen Tons" and that no one has mentioned the arcane phrase "gettin' one's ashes hauled." Maybe some creative soul could redress this omission.

Amos-

Your limerick with regard to the young lady "Kristin" hardly does her justice, She was just doing her job. The prosecutor's office, with the help of the national media, ran Spitzer through the wringer.

I'm of an age where I have a very clear idea of what a "wringer" was, and I'm very grateful that my big brother never succeeded in his efforts to entice me to run my hands through our wringer at the farm.

Cheerily,
Charley Noble


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Eliot Spitzer Talking Blues
From: Charley Noble
Date: 14 Mar 08 - 09:47 PM

Well, so it goes!

Another thread done gone.

Only the banner ads are left!

Charley Noble


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate
  Share Thread:
More...

Reply to Thread
Subject:  Help
From:
Preview   Automatic Linebreaks   Make a link ("blue clicky")


Mudcat time: 22 September 6:11 PM EDT

[ Home ]

All original material is copyright © 1998 by the Mudcat Café Music Foundation, Inc. All photos, music, images, etc. are copyright © by their rightful owners. Every effort is taken to attribute appropriate copyright to images, content, music, etc. We are not a copyright resource.