BS: Graffitti

Subject: BS: Graffitti
From: GUEST,Billy
Date: 12 Mar 08 - 10:21 PM

I have always enjoyed witty Graffitti. I think my favorite was in the men's room in the No Exit Cafe in Evanston, Illinois.

High up on the wall near the ceiling in squiggly writing it said "Help! I've tripped and I can't get down!"

Anybody got any other good ones?

Subject: RE: BS: Graffitti
From: GUEST,Stranger
Date: 12 Mar 08 - 10:25 PM

Above a urinal:

"What are you looking here for? The joke is in your hand."

I am also a fan of elaborate drawings, usually sexual in nature, and mostly done by Puerto Ricans.

Subject: RE: BS: Graffitti
From: Phil Cooper
Date: 12 Mar 08 - 11:51 PM

There was a phrase written over one of those cheap condom machines stating: "This gum tastes awful."

Subject: RE: BS: Graffitti
From: Micca
Date: 13 Mar 08 - 04:52 AM

The one I always liked was written carefully above the Toilet paper roll in the gents at a University where I worked It said
"Sociology degrees please take one!"

Subject: RE: BS: Graffitti
From: Deckman
Date: 13 Mar 08 - 04:54 AM

Also in a men's room at a university: "URINE URINE!" Bob

Subject: RE: BS: Graffitti
From: JennieG
Date: 13 Mar 08 - 05:07 AM

From the door in a womens' toilet in Canberra, Oz:

"Work like you don't need money
Dance like no one's watching
Love like you've never been hurt
And f**k like you're being filmed......"


love it!

Cheers
JennieG

Subject: RE: BS: Graffitti
From: Deckman
Date: 13 Mar 08 - 05:21 AM

Also: "Urine analysis" bob

Subject: RE: BS: Graffitti
From: Brakn
Date: 13 Mar 08 - 05:26 AM

Seen in Manchester years ago - "Guy Fawkes was right!"

In a Swindon factory - "Please flush the chain - some people will eat anything."

Subject: RE: BS: Graffitti
From: Jack Blandiver
Date: 13 Mar 08 - 05:30 AM

In the gents toilet at the long gone Backworth Station, Northumberland, circa 1972:

Some come here to sit and think
Whilst others come to shit and stink;
But I come here to scratch my balls,
and read the writing on the walls.

And the memorable scrawl on the hoardings in Newcastle when they were tearing the old city apart in the building of the monstrous Eldon Square shopping concourse, circa 1973 (?):

Coshas the name
agros the game
bovva and agro
they both mean the same

And last, but not least, spotted on a skip in Esh Winning, County Durham, in 2003, in glorious fresh red spray paint:

The Beatles are shit

Subject: RE: BS: Graffitti
From: Deckman
Date: 13 Mar 08 - 05:42 AM

Also: "URINE DEEP SHIT BOY!" me

Subject: RE: BS: Graffitti
From: GUEST,Ted
Date: 13 Mar 08 - 05:50 AM

One seen in the Gents while I was on jury service:

Here I sit, broken hearted
Paid a penny & only farted

And below in a different hand:

Here I sit, sly & artful
never paid & done a cartful

Subject: RE: BS: Graffitti
From: catspaw49
Date: 13 Mar 08 - 06:23 AM

Deja Poo---The feeling you've heard all this shit before

Everybody pisses on the floor. Be a hero and shit on the ceiling.

It takes the human body about 24 hours to turn good food into shit. It only takes McDonald's 5 minutes.

Written above the toilet: Download IE here



Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Graffitti
From: Big Mick
Date: 13 Mar 08 - 07:18 AM

Written on the wall of the restroom at Great Lakes Naval Station in 1969:

Flush twice. It's a long way to the chow hall

Mick

Subject: RE: BS: Graffitti
From: Deckman
Date: 13 Mar 08 - 08:10 AM

"Don't stand on the seat ... our crabs jump 50 feet"! Seen in a lumber yard restroom in 1953 ... yes, I've a long memory! Bob

Subject: RE: BS: Graffitti
From: GUEST,Bob L
Date: 13 Mar 08 - 09:42 AM

Life is like a sh*t sandwich - the more bread you got, the better.

Subject: RE: BS: Graffitti
From: The PA
Date: 13 Mar 08 - 10:12 AM

Seen in a UK pub:

'my mother made me a homosexual'      

and written in another hand underneath:

'if I get her the wool would she make me one too?'

Subject: RE: BS: Graffitti
From: fat B****rd
Date: 13 Mar 08 - 10:15 AM

Written on a wall "What is it good for?"

Subject: RE: BS: Graffitti
From: Peace
Date: 13 Mar 08 - 10:55 AM

On a wall was 'I like grils'. Someone came along, scratched out the misspelled word and wrote 'girls'. Someone else came along and wrote, "What about us grils?"

Subject: RE: BS: Graffitti
From: mack/misophist
Date: 13 Mar 08 - 11:06 AM

At the gym I go to, somebody took a sign from the weight rack and mounted it over the urinals: "If you can lift it you can put it away."

Dear Peace,
    Shouldn't that be 'with thanks to Frederick Brown'?

Subject: RE: BS: Graffitti
From: Mr Happy
Date: 13 Mar 08 - 11:13 AM

"Do not throw chewing gum in the urinals, please adhere to this notice"

Subject: RE: BS: Graffitti
From: Peace
Date: 13 Mar 08 - 11:16 AM

Don't know, m/m. Something I read in a book decades ago.

Subject: RE: BS: Graffitti
From: Midchuck
Date: 13 Mar 08 - 11:17 AM

In a truck stop in Vermont:

Here I sit upon the pooper,
Making a Vermont state trooper.

Of course, it would work for any state whose name had two syllables with the accent on the second...

Peter

Subject: RE: BS: Graffitti
From: GUEST,Jonny Sunshine
Date: 13 Mar 08 - 12:20 PM

Don't throw your fag-ends in the loo
You know it isn't right
It makes them very soggy
And impossible to light

Subject: RE: BS: Graffitti
From: GUEST,Jonny Sunshine
Date: 13 Mar 08 - 12:23 PM

But seriously.... my favourite piece of graffiti was more poignant than funny, written in huge letters along 100 feet of fence perfectly visible from the traffics jams on the nearby M40 heading towards London)

WHY DO I STILL DO THIS EVERY DAY?

Subject: RE: BS: Graffitti
From: frogprince
Date: 13 Mar 08 - 12:35 PM

In the restroom of a Chicago pizza place:

    The pizza here is awful!

    I'd rather eat the waitress.

    I did; the pizza is better!

Subject: RE: BS: Graffitti
From: The Walrus
Date: 13 Mar 08 - 01:01 PM

Reported from the toilets at Warwick University (?) Coventry (late '60s)
There's more pleasure in a good shit than in all the world's literature

From Southall College (late '70s)
I'm into sadism, necrophilia and beastiality -
Am I flogging a dead horse?
underneath had been added
No. Just a very old Joke

A variant on Deckman's
"..."Don't stand on the seat ... our crabs jump 50 feet"!..."
seen in the Latrines at a TA Camp
It's no good standing on the seat
The crabs in here can jump six feet
to which was added, in another hand
If you think that's rather high
Go next door, the bastards fly

Surely one of the most seen graffitos was that painted on a wall outside Paddington Station.
Far away is close at hand in images of eleswhere

W

Subject: RE: BS: Graffitti
From: Bert Fegg
Date: 13 Mar 08 - 02:39 PM

Some famous UK graffiti.

'Marples Must Go', painted on a bridge over the M1 somewhere in the Herts/Beds area and still visible many years after dear Ernest had gone.

'M. KAHN IS BENT', which appeared for many years scrawled on a railway bridge over the North Circular Road in outer London.

For some more visit (including others from the US) visit http://eatliver.com/i.php?n=2290 .

Subject: RE: BS: Graffitti
From: Bert Fegg
Date: 13 Mar 08 - 03:07 PM

But this story beats all graffiti - http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,337232,00.html.

Subject: RE: BS: Graffitti
From: Irene M
Date: 13 Mar 08 - 03:51 PM

1) At a motorway service station in the 70s;
Sign saying WAY OUT
            BIRMINGHAM
to which had been added "man".

2) At bottom of loo door; "Beware the phantom limbo dancer"

Subject: RE: BS: Graffitti
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 13 Mar 08 - 03:57 PM

Next to a urinal in a restaurant:

"We aim to please.
You aim, too, please."

--not exactly graffiti because it was (supposedly) put up by the management.

By the way, my spell-checker tells me "graffiti" has only one "t".

Subject: RE: BS: Graffitti
From: Schantieman
Date: 13 Mar 08 - 03:58 PM

On a bridge over the M57 just NW of Liverpool until recently was, unaccountably, "The Pies The Pies"   

Anyone shed any light on that one?

Steve

Subject: RE: BS: Graffitti
From: GUEST,Lox
Date: 13 Mar 08 - 04:03 PM

Don't know if it's still there or not, haven't been for a while, but there used to be graffiti near the archway tavern in Holloway (london) saying "ken dodd's dad's dead".

I once read:

Rousseau - to do is to be

Sartre - to be is to do

Sinatra - do be do be do

Subject: RE: BS: Graffitti
From: GUEST,lox
Date: 13 Mar 08 - 04:05 PM

Railway Bridges everywhere had "shout gouranga - be happy"

Subject: RE: BS: Graffitti
From: Gurney
Date: 13 Mar 08 - 04:10 PM

Composed, I think, by the foreman of a garage I worked in:

If your arse is wrongly made,
so that, when you shit, it comes out sprayed,
don't worry that you're not like us.
Just clean it up, you dirty cuss!

It wan't me.

Subject: RE: BS: Graffitti
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 13 Mar 08 - 04:40 PM

I remember when the new library opened at Macalester College, my alma mater—it must have been 20+ years ago now—I went to explore the building soon after it opened. It was equipped with all the latest technology. For instance, several parts of the building—the "stacks" and the rest rooms for example—were equipped with motion detectors so that the lights would be automatically turned off if no one appeared to be using the facilities in those areas. Faucets would turn on automatically when you put your hands under them. To save space, some bookshelves were suspended from tracks in the ceiling, so they could be moved closer together or farther apart as needed. I had never seen such things before.

On the wall above a urinal, I saw a very official-looking metallic-colored sticker that said something like this:

"Warning! Any urine deposited in this facility is subject to immediate and automatic chemical analysis. If traces of cannabis or other illegal drugs are detected, an alarm will go off, and officers will be summoned…(etc.)"

Remember, this was in the days before most people had access to word processors, laser printers and so on, and therefore, if a sign looked official, it probably was.

I had to think about this quite a while before became convinced, "Nah, this can't be real." I then decided it was a very good practical joke, perhaps the best I had ever seen.

The part that I have a hard time conveying—because I can't remember the actual wording of the sign—is that it was written in very convincing legalese or bureaucratese, whatever you call it.

Subject: RE: BS: Graffitti
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 13 Mar 08 - 04:47 PM

On a bridge near the University of Minnesota, someone scrawled in very large letters:

"A leprechaun but a leper can't."

It stayed there for many years, visible to all passing traffic, and it had almost acquired landmark status by the time the bridge was torn down. I miss it.

Subject: RE: BS: Graffitti
From: Raggytash
Date: 13 Mar 08 - 05:15 PM

On a street sign "St Peters Square" ........... and so is the Pope .......... Circa 1960's

Subject: RE: BS: Graffitti
From: Seamus Kennedy
Date: 13 Mar 08 - 06:01 PM

About two inches from the ceiling, above the urinal in a Buffalo pub restroom:

If you can piss this high, the Buffalo Fire department wants you.

Seamus

Subject: RE: BS: Graffitti
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 13 Mar 08 - 06:40 PM

Here's a picture of one of the most remarkable examples of graffiti - on the walls of the last Tin Mine in Cornwall when it closed in 1998-

Cornish lads are fishermen and Cornish lads are miners too. But when the fish and tin are gone, what are the Cornish boys to do? (It's from Roger Bryant's song "Cornish Lads")

Subject: RE: BS: Graffitti
From: Joe_F
Date: 13 Mar 08 - 08:54 PM

I do not like this place at all:
The stool is too high, and the seat is too small.
-- You open yourself to a simple retort:
Your ass is too big, and your legs are too short.

Assholes have their uses.

To shithouse artists when they die,
We'll build it long and broad and high,
In tribute to their mirth and wit:
A monument of solid shit.

Subject: RE: BS: Graffitti
From: GUEST,Billy
Date: 14 Mar 08 - 12:33 AM

Great replies. Some I have never seen.
One more, written at the bottom of the stall door:
"If you can read this, you are now shitting at an angle of 45 degrees".

Subject: RE: BS: Graffitti
From: autolycus
Date: 14 Mar 08 - 01:15 AM

On a notice ar work that began,"Please do not stand on the bowl (etc.)", someone added, 'or juggle'.

I thought that masterly.

    Ivor

Subject: RE: BS: Graffitti
From: Skivee
Date: 14 Mar 08 - 02:16 AM

The Morman Temple in Maryland sits nestled in a wooded grove on the north of the DC Beltway. It looks much like a well-known castle from a well-known film. For many years drivers could read graffitti on a nearby overpass:"Surrender Dorothy".
I ocassionally entertain the idea of sneaking onto the grounds and dropping green filters over the lights. So far, reason has won out.

Subject: RE: BS: Graffitti
From: Bryn Pugh
Date: 14 Mar 08 - 06:28 AM

From a Northern College in the 70s

Man United Rule OK

and in a different, neater hand underneath

You cunts couldn't rule a straight line with a T-square.

Subject: RE: BS: Graffitti
From: mandotim
Date: 14 Mar 08 - 06:35 AM

One I like;
'I hate Graffitti'
and underneath...
'I hate all Italian food!'
Tim

Subject: RE: BS: Graffitti
From: Moses
Date: 14 Mar 08 - 08:20 AM

l o l o
a q i c
i 8 2 q
b 4 i p

can't remember where I saw it but it was a long time ago.



I am told that during the 2nd world war when there were shortages of all kinds in Britain, notices appeared in some Government establishments that were meant for the office staff. However, the notices were removed and placed in the lavatories above the toilet paper dispensers.

They read:- "There is a National shortage of paper, please use both sides"

Subject: RE: BS: Graffitti
From: theleveller
Date: 14 Mar 08 - 08:37 AM

I remember seeing, in the loo of a very smart Knightsbridge restaurant in the 1960s: 'Lady Antonia Fraser is jolly randy'.

Perhaps my favourite of all pub bog graffitti is: 'You don't buy Watney's beer, just rent it.

Subject: RE: BS: Graffitti
From: Mr Red
Date: 14 Mar 08 - 09:51 AM

on a condom machine

Buy me and stop one (after the Ice Cream Slogan)

and under it

Buy Two and be One Jump Ahead.

And I am told that in Pompeii they found a wall with all the usual dross like "I visited Persephone last night and she was exceeding good" etc

But amongst it all was a Grafito again probably in lating - to the effect "Methinks 'tis a wonder this wall does not fall with the weight of drivel scribbled hereon"

Subject: RE: BS: Graffitti
From: topical tom
Date: 14 Mar 08 - 10:08 AM

Scrawled on the wall above a toilet:

   If you're feeling flush the toilet's blocked.

Subject: RE: BS: Graffitti
From: Uncle_DaveO
Date: 14 Mar 08 - 05:48 PM

At a bar, on the men's room wall, were various graffiti, the likes of:

"E=MC2" and "Cogito, Ergo Sum!"

Below it, in another hand, "I have to say, this place sure has some real high-class clientele!"

Dave Oesterreich

Subject: RE: BS: Graffitti
From: GUEST,Paddy
Date: 15 Mar 08 - 09:44 PM

There was a young ellow named Rafferty
Who went into a public lavatory
As he sat in a stall
Read the words on the wall
He said, "This must be the centre of graffitti!"

Subject: RE: BS: Graffitti
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 16 Mar 08 - 07:23 PM

I am sure our own Raggytash may confirm or deny this one. On the wall of the gents in the Duke of York, Eccles -

"Nick fucks sheep"

"Yea, well, I'm Nick and I only fuck nice looking sheep."

"Well, I'm a sheep and I only fuck good looking Nicks!"

"Well, I'm a Shepherd and while I have been reading this, some bastard has Nicked all my fucking sheep!"

:D

Subject: RE: BS: Graffitti
From: Bryn Pugh
Date: 17 Mar 08 - 12:09 PM

From a Northern University, my alma mater

Eat shit ! 300,000,000 flies can't be wrong.

Subject: RE: BS: Graffitti
From: The Walrus
Date: 17 Mar 08 - 01:58 PM

I seem to recall the Richard Digence had a song based around Graffiti.

W