Kendall's next operation

Subject: RE: Kendall's next operation
From: gnu
Date: 13 Jun 08 - 02:05 PM

"syphilitic son of a whore"

I heard that years ago! and not since. I was salmon fishing on the Main SW Mirimichi. Heard someone coming along the path next to the river. I heard a thump and knew the person had slipped and hit the muddy ground.

A string of profanity began that was almost poetic, increased upon the second upset and lasted a good 45 seconds until, still waxing poetic, out of the bushes steps Ted Williams (baseball player of note). He was covered in mud from wader boot to shoulder on one side. He arched up upon seeing me and said. "Oh... you're here."

I said, as I was reeling in my line and coming ashore, "That was fucking beautiful. May I watch you fish? Maybe I can learn something new there too." He laughed and said, "Sure sonny." I did learn something. I will never be able to cast a fly like Ted Williams.

About twenty minutes later, another master fly fisher came along. Tom Sellick. I was treated to quite a show of fly fishing technique and finesse. I understand he bought Ted's land. Funny, though... he never calls to invite me fishing.

BTW, that pic of me fishing in the Member Photos & Info is where that happened... on the opposite side, to the right.

Anyway.... how are you feeling today, Cap'n?

Subject: RE: Kendall's next operation
From: kendall
Date: 13 Jun 08 - 04:26 PM

I feel great, but, I know you won't believe this...I'm having a hard time keeping my mouth shut.

Subject: RE: Kendall's next operation
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Jun 08 - 04:29 PM

Recently I've been beset by other drivers, all of whom are clapped-out ditch whores and whoresons.

Subject: RE: Kendall's next operation
From: Becca72
Date: 13 Jun 08 - 04:30 PM

I, for one, am shocked!






*I'm getting in all my digs now when he can't yell at me.

Subject: RE: Kendall's next operation
From: catspaw49
Date: 13 Jun 08 - 04:34 PM

Kendall says: "I feel great, but, I know you won't believe this...I'm having a hard time keeping my mouth shut."

......uh, yeah.........Well, If that's true that's the ONLY thing you've had hard in the past 6 years...................


Spaw

Subject: RE: Kendall's next operation
From: gnu
Date: 13 Jun 08 - 05:47 PM

Just cause you gotta see Alice don't mean he gotta.

Subject: RE: Kendall's next operation
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Jun 08 - 06:36 PM

I learned to cuss and swear in good company: Boy Scouts of America, Illinois National Guard, US Army, Billy-Bob Shakespeare, Jeff Chaucer, and my two brothers to name but a few of my teachers. I can cuss some in Hebrew, Russian, Arabic, Japanese, Korean, Chinese, Tagalog, Spanish, French, and German thanks to my brothers (and Latin, thanks to the Christian Brothers). My youngest brother also taught me to say "I crave your body" in Hebrew, Russian, and Spanish in case I was horny in Israel, Russia, or a Spanish-speaking country.

Subject: RE: Kendall's next operation
From: jacqui.c
Date: 13 Jun 08 - 06:46 PM

Spaw! Cellar!

Subject: RE: Kendall's next operation
From: kendall
Date: 13 Jun 08 - 07:59 PM

Some day when I'm tired of living, I'm going to seek out a Latino male and say,"To eho de la Puta"!

Subject: RE: Kendall's next operation
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Jun 08 - 10:28 PM

A very obnoxious guy once told my Spanish-fluent brother that he was going to Mexico and he "wanted them greasers to know he was an American and should be treated right."

My brother was much offended. So he told him just to go into any cantina or bar and say in a loud and demanding voice, "Ay! Yo soy uno mericon."

My bro thinks the guy must be buried somewhere in the Sonoran Desert because he never saw him again.

Subject: RE: Kendall's next operation
From: Bill D
Date: 13 Jun 08 - 10:49 PM

A story about swearing. The exact details vary, but the basics seem to have survived. Mark Twain (Sam Clemens) was known an an inveterate cusser, and used the language to great advantage. (He wrote a famous essay about the German language in which he relates how frustrated he was when he discovered "damit" was only a preposition.)

anyway:

"Clemens's wife, Livy, was one of the few who did not appreciate her husband's swearing, and he tried to keep watch on his tongue when she was close by; but one day something irritated him, and, thinking his wife could not hear, he launched into a torrent of red-hot profanity. When he entered his wife's room a short time later, she coolly repeated word-for-word everything he had said.

    "Livy," he replied, astounded yet amused, "did it sound like that?"

    "Of course it did," she said, "only worse. I wanted you to hear just how it sounded."

    "Livy, it would pain me to think that when I swear it sounds like that. You got the words right, Livy, but you don't know the tune."

Subject: RE: Kendall's next operation
From: jacqui.c
Date: 14 Jun 08 - 07:12 AM

Wonderful, Bill!

Subject: RE: Kendall's next operation
From: kendall
Date: 14 Jun 08 - 07:49 AM

Former president Truman was also known as a world class cusser.
At some sort of high falootin' dinner he was giving a talk, and an older women leaned over to Mrs. Truman and said, "Can't you get Harry to stop using that word,"Manure" Bess replied, "It has taken me many years to get him to call it "Manure."

Subject: RE: Kendall's next operation
From: Big Mick
Date: 14 Jun 08 - 08:17 AM

Rapaire, I am calling you for a

FOUL!!!!!

You are in violation of the rule here at Mudcat which requires the "Warning: empty mouth and all other cavities before reading this" rule. You have been here long enough to know that this is a requirement.

"soy mericon" indeed!!! I am still laughing.

Mick

Subject: RE: Kendall's next operation
From: kendall
Date: 14 Jun 08 - 03:46 PM

I have to pass on the song circle tonight. I don't trust myself to not speak before thinking, and I'm forbidden to speak until Monday.

Subject: RE: Kendall's next operation
From: Genie
Date: 14 Jun 08 - 05:06 PM

Kendall: "The only real problem is, I don't know how to spell some of my favorite expletives."

You don't know how to spell "ppbbllfffttt?"

Kendall: "I've been down this road before, and it's not as hard as you think.
You simply process every thought and decide it's not important enough to speak."

And the thoughts that ARE important enough to speak but you can't right now, you write them down and set them to music. :)

Get your loopy self back to normal (OK, as close to normal as you ever were) very soon, Cap'n.   (Hugs and light and warm fuzzies and sea chanteys and all that.)

Genie



PS
Amos: Is "talking rectally" the same thing as "talking out yo ass?"   I imagine lots of 'catters are good at that.

Subject: RE: Kendall's next operation
From: AllisonA(Animaterra)
Date: 14 Jun 08 - 08:48 PM

Love and hugs, Kendall! Keep on healing, and both of you take time to smell the flowers! Vaya con dios, my friend.

Subject: RE: Kendall's next operation
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Jun 08 - 10:42 PM

Mick, in the interests of the Spanish-impaired perhaps you would provide a translation. Even Kendall might enjoy it, but I don't think you can speak Spanish well if you have a Down-East accent.

Subject: RE: Kendall's next operation
From: Becca72
Date: 15 Jun 08 - 06:10 AM

Not so, Rapaire. I made the Spanish National Honor Society in high school. :-)

Subject: RE: Kendall's next operation
From: GUEST,Dani
Date: 15 Jun 08 - 11:02 AM

Hey, "Foul" indeed! You told me you don't do Spanish, Kendall!

Dani

Subject: RE: Kendall's next operation
From: Big Mick
Date: 15 Jun 08 - 11:08 AM

I am not sure "maricón" would have been taught in High School, but if you are conversational, I would suggest not using it in polite company...***chuckle***.

Basically this is a play on words foisted on a yanqui who doesn't speak and who is the classic ugly American. The correct thing to say is ".....soy Norteamericano" or "...soy de Norte America" ("I am American" or "I am from the USA". Yes, I am aware that Mexicanos and Canadians are both from North America, but that is the referent in Spanish as spoken in the Americas). But this person, in their ignorant bliss, would think that "maricón" was "American" in Spanish because it has some similarity. Actually it means faggot or homosexual. It is a derisive term in the extreme. Call the wrong person a "maricón" and you likely should be wearing kevlar. I cannot rid my mind of the vision of some gringo standing there, in righteous indignation, proclaiming, "....Yo soy maricón." It is still cracking me up, taken in the context of the story.

All the best,

Mick

Subject: RE: Kendall's next operation
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Jun 08 - 11:24 AM

Ya see, my little brother doesn't get mad...he uses his linguistic skills to teach gentle lessons to people who need subtle behavioral correction.

Subject: RE: Kendall's next operation
From: kendall
Date: 15 Jun 08 - 04:39 PM

Becca, you don't have a Downeast accent.

Subject: RE: Kendall's next operation
From: curmudgeon
Date: 15 Jun 08 - 06:12 PM

Going back to Big Mick's last post, my friend Cesar, a Dominican, once remarked that beside the "maricon," there was also a class known as "buggeron." He was, at the time, unaware of the Anglo-American etymology of the term. As he put it, politely, the maricon both "gives and recieves", whereas the buggeron only "gives," without any aspersions on his masculinity.

Sorry that I can't do the proper accent marks - Tom

Subject: RE: Kendall's next operation
From: gnu
Date: 15 Jun 08 - 06:28 PM

No Downeast accent? Well, can she at least DO one, ya know, fer when company comes er what eh?

Subject: RE: Kendall's next operation
From: SINSULL
Date: 15 Jun 08 - 06:31 PM

Kendall was barely controlling himself at breakfast today. One more day - hmmm that has the makings of a great shanty.

To the powers that be and the magic in the universe:
Make this his last and successful operation. Damn it! I mean it this time! Don't piss me off!

Subject: RE: Kendall's next operation
From: GUEST,Dani
Date: 15 Jun 08 - 06:33 PM

Someone who knows colloquial (SP?) Mexican Spanish better than I do can correct, but I'm told that the *nice* way to refer to someone who is gay (more affectionate?) is as 'mariposa' (butterfly). Yes?

Dani

Subject: RE: Kendall's next operation
From: Big Mick
Date: 15 Jun 08 - 07:48 PM

Dani, it depends on context and how one says it. Mariposa can be used as a more polite way of naming someone a homosexual, but in most cases it is still just a nicer way of insulting someone. It is like the difference of calling someone a faggot, or saying he is "light in the loafers".

Mick

Subject: RE: Kendall's next operation
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Jun 08 - 10:29 PM

Actually, I rarely discuss other people's sexual orientation in English, much less in Spanish or anything else. I have enough troubles without getting into that.

Subject: RE: Kendall's next operation
From: Big Mick
Date: 15 Jun 08 - 11:33 PM

I agree, Bill. I am just answering the questions. Recently, as I was working with the packing house workers in Nebraska, Iowa, and South Dakota, I was speaking more Spanish than English.

Subject: RE: Kendall's next operation
From: gnu
Date: 16 Jun 08 - 03:38 AM

What kinda... ahhh.. nevermind.

Subject: RE: Kendall's next operation
From: kendall
Date: 16 Jun 08 - 07:42 AM

Today is the day "the bandages come off", so to speak, and I haven't tried to talk. I'm almost afraid to.

Subject: RE: Kendall's next operation
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Jun 08 - 08:32 AM

Lubricate your throat first, as the Power Of Portland Rum is awesome to behold.

Subject: RE: Kendall's next operation
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 16 Jun 08 - 09:49 AM

then consider how to break your wordfast - a joke? a tall tale? a rude word? or just hello?

love & hugs to you

sandra

Subject: RE: Kendall's next operation
From: Hollowfox
Date: 16 Jun 08 - 01:01 PM

(fingers still crossed; typing with one hand) How'd it go? ($#!@-reduction candles proceeding apace)

Subject: RE: Kendall's next operation
From: gnu
Date: 16 Jun 08 - 01:39 PM

WELL?????????

Subject: RE: Kendall's next operation
From: kendall
Date: 16 Jun 08 - 01:55 PM

A bit stronger than a whisper. Needs work.

Subject: RE: Kendall's next operation
From: SINSULL
Date: 16 Jun 08 - 02:05 PM

A lot stronger than a whisper. It needs tender care and careful work.
Jacqui - get in here!

Subject: RE: Kendall's next operation
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Jun 08 - 03:00 PM

Repeat after me: "Woman! fetch me my slippers and a beer."

You'll be up and around, your voice as strong as ever, in no time at all.

Subject: RE: Kendall's next operation
From: gnu
Date: 16 Jun 08 - 03:03 PM

Well, go SLOW and nuture it. I would LOVE to yak on the phone and have you tell me more jokes and stories... well more than that of course... don't mean to seem selfish.

Subject: RE: Kendall's next operation
From: Jeri
Date: 16 Jun 08 - 05:06 PM

Jeri" "So Kendall, you got a frog in your throat?"
Kendall: "Nope. I think he was Italian."

Do NOT try everything all at once. No yodeling, no hog-calling and no bluegrass.

Subject: RE: Kendall's next operation
From: jacqui.c
Date: 16 Jun 08 - 05:38 PM

Repeat after me: "Woman! fetch me my slippers and a beer."

You'll be up and around, your voice as strong as ever, in no time at all.

Not if he starts making those kind of demands, he won't.

There is a voice there - he now has to learn to use it. During the day it has fluctuated from whisper to almost loud at times. His surgeon has told him to start with the exercises that he was doing prior to the strep throat in December and we've got an appointment in Albany for post-op on 1 July, after Old Songs.

Subject: RE: Kendall's next operation
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Jun 08 - 06:23 PM

Oh, I dunno, Jacqui. Screaming and running like hell....

Subject: RE: Kendall's next operation
From: Escapee
Date: 16 Jun 08 - 07:29 PM

Good luck to you.
SKP

Subject: RE: Kendall's next operation
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 16 Jun 08 - 08:05 PM

yah!

but what was your first word, enquiring minds want to know, (Well, this one does)

sandra

Google ads below - Kids songs lyrics & 10 Rules to Cut Belly Fat.

Looove those Google ads! What next?

Subject: RE: Kendall's next operation
From: GUEST,Dan
Date: 17 Jun 08 - 03:16 AM

All right! Just take it easy for now - and I get to play autoharp on your comeback album.

Dan

Subject: RE: Kendall's next operation
From: Leadfingers
Date: 17 Jun 08 - 05:44 AM

Keep with it Cap'n ! Loooking forward to hearing you at The Getaway

Subject: RE: Kendall's next operation
From: GUEST
Date: 17 Jun 08 - 07:33 AM

My google ads were for 'Accent Reduction Course' and 'English Without Accent'. I think they were offering y'all a 2-for-1 deal : )

Great news, guys.

Dani

Subject: RE: Kendall's next operation
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 17 Jun 08 - 08:59 AM

now Google is offering Free Spanish Translation & Secret to Learning French.

Google, a source of innocent merriment!

Subject: RE: Kendall's next operation
From: ClaireBear
Date: 17 Jun 08 - 11:30 AM

So why do I get "Cosmetic Surgery Centers" and "Plastic Surgery in Marin"? Does my PC have a camera that I don't know about? (And how does google know that I'm in California?)

I find Google a bit creepy.

Claire