I just writtid a song!

Subject: I just writtid a song!
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 18 Apr 08 - 05:08 PM

Well, not realy. I just parodied another but I am quite pleased with the results. The story all starts here - Just scroll down a couple of posts.

Hope I don't start doing this regularly - I might become a snigger snog writer!

Cheers

Dave

Subject: RE: I just writtid a song!
From: GUEST
Date: 18 Apr 08 - 05:11 PM

" I just writtid a song!" "Well, not realy. I just parodied another "

Not a great deal to celebrate then...

Subject: RE: I just writtid a song!
From: GUEST,You, Vicar's Kid
Date: 18 Apr 08 - 05:20 PM

hukt onn phonix werx four mee

Subject: RE: I just writtid a song!
From: Bert
Date: 18 Apr 08 - 06:04 PM

That's how it starts Dave, that's how it starts.

There'll be no going back now. You're hooked.

It is pretty good by the way.

Subject: RE: I just writtid a song!
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 18 Apr 08 - 06:13 PM

The metro trams now run into Salford Quays - On reflection they could be referenced instead of the neon setting the night on fire.

Electric trams, set the night on fire

Any better?

Cheers

D.

Subject: RE: I just writtid a song!
From: Richard Bridge
Date: 18 Apr 08 - 06:50 PM

Quite useful! Well, better than me. But scansion needs attention in third verse

Subject: RE: I just writtid a song!
From: GUEST,leeneia
Date: 18 Apr 08 - 08:41 PM

'I might become a snigger snog writer!'

Um, what's that exactly?

Any relation to a vorpal blade, which goes snicker-snack?

I enjoyed your song.

Subject: RE: I just writtid a song!
From: Leadfingers
Date: 18 Apr 08 - 08:56 PM

That does it for me Dave - Did I tell you I hate the clever buggers who write the songs I have to steal ? As Bert said , your heading down that slippery slope !

Subject: RE: I just writtid a song!
From: Charley Noble
Date: 18 Apr 08 - 11:20 PM

Dave-

Now the world is a better place!

Cheerily,
Charley Noble

Subject: RE: I just writtid a song!
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 18 Apr 08 - 11:37 PM

That's actually damn good, Davey! Keep it up!

Subject: RE: I just writtid a song!
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 19 Apr 08 - 05:50 AM

Hey - Thanks guys:-)

I have slept on it and decided that the trams are better and more accurate than the neon - and that will make it more specific to Salford. I also had the idea of swapping round the ultimate and penultimate lines so the last line is aways the same - better for audience participation.

Richard - I think I know where you mean - Third line? I did have difficulty with that but it does actualy scan if you hold the 'o' in go - Girls don't go-o-o-o, out alone at night. Or would I be better trying more sylables?

Leenia - A snigger snogwriter is like a singer-songwriter but more mixed up.

I might give 'Peterloo' a try one day - I have changed the last line of Harvey Kershaws version to 'Trendy wine bars stand today, on the fields of Peterloo'. I have related the tale elsewhere here but, in a nutshell, the Free Trade Hall was bult on the sight of where 11 people died in the 'Peterloo massacre' of 1819. It was a wonderful memorial to them and highlighted the despicable way the rich treated the poor. The wonderful and alleged socialist Labour council of Manchester decided to sell the hall and land to developers. A hotel that most people cannot afford to stay at and trendy wine bars now inhabit Peters Field. All that is left of the Free Trade Hall is a facade. Just like the facade of socialism in politics:-(

May make it into song!

Cheers and thanks again

Dave

Subject: RE: I just writtid a song!
From: GUEST,Richard Bridge
Date: 19 Apr 08 - 05:59 AM

Yes, hold the "go -oooh"

I'd lose the "But" in the third line. and the "Old" in the fifth. But what do I know?

Peterloo is a great idea. I've often wanted to learn that song, but I read dots so badly.

Subject: RE: I just writtid a song!
From: bfdk
Date: 19 Apr 08 - 07:05 AM

Or 'Girls don't dare walk alone at night'?
B

Subject: RE: I just writtid a song!
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 19 Apr 08 - 07:30 AM

Yeh! Does it for me. Thanks bfdk. Maybe 'Girls don't spring in the street at night' to be in keeping?

Words by committee - That's what we like:-)

The 'old' in the fifth line has gone, Richard. Thanks.

D.

Subject: RE: I just writtid a song!
From: Mr Red
Date: 19 Apr 08 - 09:11 AM

parodies are a very good place to start - you start to learn the structure of songs and the lyric/music interplay. And you have a structure to go at.