BS: Becoming a Saga Lout

Subject: RE: BS: Becoming a Saga Lout
From: Big Al Whittle
Date: 30 Apr 08 - 12:54 PM

wassn't that Thelma and Louise?

Subject: RE: BS: Becoming a Saga Lout
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Apr 08 - 09:06 AM

Hell, I've talked the Supervisors at work, most of whom are either over 60 or damned close to it, to form an Olympic-style pistol team and when we're reasonably good we're going to challenge and out-shoot the Police Department supervisors.

And we're going to wear our Library raid jackets when we do, too!

(Safety, I hasten to add, is paramount. There will be literally hours of study before they even pick up a pistol and even more before they send a bullet downrange.)

Then we're going to send an article to "American Libraries" where it won't be published.

There is nothing like being older to become...eccentric? Odd? Or is it simply a new perspective on enjoying life?

Subject: RE: BS: Becoming a Saga Lout
From: Richard Bridge
Date: 30 Apr 08 - 08:19 AM

I don't want a purple dress and red hat thank you, but I do have an electric mandolin and a metal distortion pedal that will be exercised this weeken.

Subject: RE: BS: Becoming a Saga Lout
From: mouldy
Date: 30 Apr 08 - 05:17 AM

I already have my purple dress and red hat!

Andrea

Subject: RE: BS: Becoming a Saga Lout
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 30 Apr 08 - 04:50 AM

Obviously been to "Sheilas' Wheels" for insurance then eh?

Subject: RE: BS: Becoming a Saga Lout
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 30 Apr 08 - 03:57 AM

When my father in law died, we 'inherited' his car. It's a big Toyota Yaris Estate - short but big, a cherry red box with a low slung body. I love it, but it's so obviously an old person's car, great for the arthritic and careful. I drive it around London and take great joy in seeing people's faces when they pull up alongside me at the traffic lights and hear Meatloaf, Status Quo or Jez Lowe blaring out of the stereo... and it's even better when I see their faces in the rear view mirror as I tear away from the lights!

So often springs to my lips the famous line from the film of 'Fried green tomatoes at the Whistlestop Cafe'...

"Let's face it girls, I'm older than you and have better insurance!"

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Becoming a Saga Lout
From: theleveller
Date: 30 Apr 08 - 03:48 AM

I had a letter recently from an old friend who's also godmother to my two kids. She's a definite member of the GODS (Growing Old Disgracefully Society)and shows how we should never streotype the 'mature' generation.

Cabs has just truned 60, she's married to Tony who's in his seventies and is a 'retired' professor of English who now writes dictionaries and is working on three books full time. They have 6 grown-up children - three from Tony's first marriage and three they adopted from the streets of Colombia - and 9 grandchildren.

Cabs is a fantastic artist and has recently completed a fine arts degree. She writes:

"What I most enjoy about reaching sixty is that it is a licence to become even more eccentric. Long live my second adoloscence. I love having purple hair and being the art group jester (as well as being the art group granny). We held three group exhibitions, two of which were more concerned with experimental work."

That's what the GODS is all about.

Incidentally, Growing Old Disgracefully was a course run by the Workers' Educational Association, who my wife works for. It was run by a wonderful lady in her seventies (sadly now deceased) and was one of their most popular courses in the York area (and probably the reason there are so many tattooed 70-year olds in York).

Subject: RE: BS: Becoming a Saga Lout
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Apr 08 - 09:38 PM

Probably the best way to keep a seat is to scratch. A lot. Most of the the time people will even move somewhere else. If asked, just mutter, "Oh, it's nothing to worry about" and if pressed just say you can't pronounce the name.

Subject: RE: BS: Becoming a Saga Lout
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 29 Apr 08 - 09:22 PM

"developed a great way of getting a seat"

My Grandad was a Brass Band Plyer. He said he preferred the Tuba, as it guaranted him a seat on the trams - same proceedure... :-)

Subject: RE: BS: Becoming a Saga Lout
From: Don(Wyziwyg)T
Date: 29 Apr 08 - 08:21 PM

"Diana Trent is my heroine and I want to be just like her when I grow up!"

Absolutely!! I think she's wonderful, and all the Harvey Baines's of this world should get one for Christmas.

But Christ on a bicycle Liz, why ever have you decided to GROW UP??

That's letting the side down, Liz.

Why my 39 year old daughter, and my 38 year old son are both older than me. They HAVE to be responsible! I've retired from that grouping.

Richard Bridge is right too. There's an ineffable feeling of delight as you watch the hot hatch with two tons of woofers and tweeters in the boot (trunk for you Norte Americanos) dwindle to a dot in your rear view mirror, as you accelerate away from the traffic lights.

Passing one on the motorway at slightly over 70 (ninety, to be precise), and changing up into top when alongside also ranks as one of life's joys, but DO remember to check for the Plod (Smokeys) beforehand.

Don T.

Subject: RE: BS: Becoming a Saga Lout
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 29 Apr 08 - 06:29 PM

I received all the information as I approached 50....read it...tested out the holiday prices against travel agent prices and found Saga was not such good value and you can get holidays without paying single supplement.....got quotes for car and house contenets insurance...but my broker found me better insurance at cheaper cost......so I guess I didn'[t join Saga....but I can still be a lout!

Subject: RE: BS: Becoming a Saga Lout
From: Herga Kitty
Date: 29 Apr 08 - 05:50 PM

Richard Bridge - when I posted, I knew that Saga membership starts at 50, I just thought the louts came later?

Kitty

(Wondering how many people do join Saga at 50...?)

Subject: RE: BS: Becoming a Saga Lout
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Apr 08 - 04:01 PM

Reminds me of the story about the faith healer. He'd preached and worked himself up into a fine show just before performing a "miracle" and then passing the plate. He called for someone from the audience to come forward, and a little old lady on crutches, helped by a friend, came forward.

"Do you believe?" he asked and the old lady agreed completely.

"Now step behind this curtain and PRAY for healing!" And the lady and her helper did.

The preacher prayed out loud for a couple of minutes and then yelled, "Throw out your crutch!" and a crutch came sailing over the curtain.

He prayed for a couple more minutes and yelled, "Throw out your other crutch!" and the second crutch came over the curtain.

"And praise the Lord! What has happened?" he shouted.

And the companion replied, "She fell down, ya silly bastard, what do think happened?"

Subject: RE: BS: Becoming a Saga Lout
From: heric
Date: 29 Apr 08 - 01:44 PM

Drifting but still a wheelchair story: I was pushing a saga gal with MS through the crowded county fair in her wheelchair. We went over some thick electrical cables, when a mass of sparks exploded around us. The crowd turned and looked in horror – she stood up, raised her palms outward and upward, yelling "It's a miracle!!"

The crowd did NOT think it was the least bit funny.

Subject: RE: BS: Becoming a Saga Lout
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 29 Apr 08 - 12:37 PM

Her father dances in a rapper side, isn't that enough?

G

Subject: RE: BS: Becoming a Saga Lout
From: Acorn4
Date: 29 Apr 08 - 12:32 PM

To Liz the Sqeak:-

If you want to embarrass teenage offspring Morris Dancing is surely the thing!

Subject: RE: BS: Becoming a Saga Lout
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 29 Apr 08 - 12:15 PM

You manage that quite well already Liz.

G

Subject: RE: BS: Becoming a Saga Lout
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 29 Apr 08 - 12:13 PM

Giok - bugger that - Why wait til I'm old, I have a soon to be teenaged child to embarass now!!!

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Becoming a Saga Lout
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Apr 08 - 09:51 AM

I own a copy of Dr. A's (Isaac Asimov) "The Sensuous Dirty Old Man." It is full of wonderful ideas and thoughts about growing old disgracefully.

Yesterday we went to finish up our wills and associated crap, which we've forgotten to do for since 2006. The lawyer looked at me and say, "So, how old ARE you?" and he about fainted when I answered "63." And then he asked my wife -- who just applied for Social Security at 65 and 10 months.... Poor chap might never recover.

I'm leaving my banjbodhcordion to the county landfill, if the government doesn't confiscate it first as an instrument of mass destruction.

Subject: RE: BS: Becoming a Saga Lout
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 29 Apr 08 - 09:11 AM

For you Liz


Warning - When I Am an Old Woman I Shall Wear Purple

By Jenny Joseph




When I am an old woman, I shall wear purple

with a red hat that doesn't go, and doesn't suit me.

And I shall spend my pension on brandy and summer gloves

and satin candles, and say we've no money for butter.

I shall sit down on the pavement when I am tired

and gobble up samples in shops and press alarm bells

and run my stick along the public railings

and make up for the sobriety of my youth.

I shall go out in my slippers in the rain

and pick the flowers in other people's gardens

and learn to spit.



You can wear terrible shirts and grow more fat

and eat three pounds of sausages at a go

or only bread and pickles for a week

and hoard pens and pencils and beer nuts and things in boxes.



But now we must have clothes that keep us dry

and pay our rent and not swear in the street

and set a good example for the children.

We must have friends to dinner and read the papers.

But maybe I ought to practice a little now?

So people who know me are not too shocked and surprised

When suddenly I am old, and start to wear purple.

Subject: RE: BS: Becoming a Saga Lout
From: GUEST,LTS pretending to work
Date: 29 Apr 08 - 08:27 AM

Don - whilst spending a month on crutches and using public transport I developed a great way of getting a seat... if no-one got up for me, I'd select a suitable candidate and shuffle uncomfortably closer, til finally, the business end of the crutch would land on his foot... With profuse apologies for stabbing him, they'd get the message and I'd get the seat!

Diana Trent is my heroine and I want to be just like her when I grow up!

L

Subject: RE: BS: Becoming a Saga Lout
From: mouldy
Date: 29 Apr 08 - 04:31 AM

I have a wonderful book called "Growing old Disgracefully" by Rohan Candappa. I strongly recommend it.
The subtitle is, "how to upset and perplex your children with increasingly erratic and unreasonable behaviour". on the back it says, "Do you really want to embrace old age? wouldn't you rather wrestle it to the floor and then sweet talk it into coming away with you for a dirty weekend in Barcelona?"
It deals with subjects as diverse as slang, sex, farting, lycra and death (with some recommended theme funerals),among many more.
It is a real laugh, and I reckon it should be issued free of charge at 50, let alone 60 - it's too good to leave until then!

Andrea

Subject: RE: BS: Becoming a Saga Lout
From: GUEST, Richard Bridge
Date: 29 Apr 08 - 04:05 AM

I was under the misapprehension that the qualifying age for SAGA was 60. I was wrong. It is 50. So I qualified to be a saga lout nearly 10 years ago - and Don has been at it for considerably longer than 7!

Another game that both Don and I enjoy is the innocuous looking Grandpa wagon - in my case Volvos, in his a Ford Scorpio - with enough oomph seriously to embarrass children with hatchbacks with fart-box exhausts...

I'm working on the in-car sound system to ensure that children with "duff-duff" boxes in their boots can be treated to about 120 Db of crumhorn solo in traffic jams, too.

Subject: RE: BS: Becoming a Saga Lout
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Apr 08 - 09:00 PM

I want the one with the stainless steel head.

Subject: RE: BS: Becoming a Saga Lout
From: Don(Wyziwyg)T
Date: 28 Apr 08 - 07:03 PM

Being some seven years into the era of Grumpy old Gittery (GOG 1st class), it does my old ticker good to see all you enthusiastic young'uns limbering up for the fray.

The best Weapon of Mass Disruption is the simple, old fashioned, walking stick.

The guy that pushes past you so rudely can be dealt with in several ways

1. The low level approach, in which the stick is reversed and becomes somehow hooked around his ankle, affording him an eye level view of the dirt under the counter opposite, and giving you something soft to wipe your feet on.

2. The high level approach in which you "accidentally" catch the back of his collar, bringing him to a sudden halt, while at the same time depriving him of the ability to swear at you.

3. My particular favourite this. The steering arm approach. Careful timing in attaching your hook to one elbow, combined with a sudden alteration of your own pace, and course, will, in the best case scenario project him violently into the chill cabinet on top of the American fries and frozen broccoli.

Profuse apologies, with a beaming smile, and a couple of inadvertent digs with the other end of the stick, as you help him to his feet, will rub salt in the wound and ensure that he will frequent a different supermarket in future.

It's fun growing old, as long as you remember not to grow up.
Don T.

Subject: RE: BS: Becoming a Saga Lout
From: Don Firth
Date: 28 Apr 08 - 06:17 PM

Just gotta cultivate bloody-mindedness, Herga Kitty. Ever see a British comedy series called Waiting for God? It's a pretty good telecourse on how to go about it.

Examples:   Love in the retirement home, and Psychiatric evaluation

Barring the availability of a Star Trek-style ship-mounted phaser cannon, I'm thinking about having a couple of .50 cal. machine guns mounted on either side of the footrests of the power wheelchair. This would be to get the attention of the hordes of people who weave back and forth along the sidewalks in the nearby business district with cell phones grafted to the sides of their heads. Same problem as cell phone addicted drivers on the freeways and streets. I have to yell a lot to keep people from winding up in my lap (although whether I do yell or not sometimes depends on the age and gender of the person with the cell phone). I actually saw somebody once, lost in conversation, run into a metal light pole. Very satisfyingly resonant "BONG!"

A full-powered blast of the phaser cannon or an enthusiastic burst from the .50 calibers would mainly be for the kids with the low-riding pants hurtling down the sidewalk on their skateboards who think the curb ramps at corners were put there for their exclusive benefit. I once got sworn at by one of these acne-studded cretins because I was about to cross the street and was going down the ramp just as he came tearing down the sidewalk behind me aiming for the same ramp.

I'm not the only one. Fully ambulatory and agile folks have to stay alert and nimble in order to avoid the same kinds of collisions, and I've seen more than one sweet little grey-haired lady come out of a grocery store and get knocked ass over teakettle by one of these mindless kamikazes.

But just remember:   Experience and treachery will triumph over youth and speed every time!

Don Firth

Subject: RE: BS: Becoming a Saga Lout
From: Herga Kitty
Date: 28 Apr 08 - 04:45 PM

Thanks for the tips on how to grow old disgracefully and become a senile delinquent. Just hope I can remember them when it's my turn...

Kitty

Subject: RE: BS: Becoming a Saga Lout
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Apr 08 - 04:28 PM

Don, you need studded snow tires. And maybe some of those blades sticking out from the axle, too. Couldn't really be called a concealed weapon now, could it?

Subject: RE: BS: Becoming a Saga Lout
From: Don Firth
Date: 28 Apr 08 - 04:17 PM

I have two wheelchairs, one a "Quicky 2" manual, and a Pride "Jazzy" electric that I use if I'm going any long distances at all. It has a range of about 25 miles on a full charge and it weighs a bit—close to 100 lbs, not counting me. I was using the electric at the time.

I didn't actually chase the guy down. I was cruising down the aisle of a drugstore in my neighborhood—not really going that slowly—and I didn't even know the guy was there until he tried to shove past me and I felt one of the big power wheels run over his foot.

He uttered an incoherent yelp and danced a lot on one foot, holding the other one with the tire tread imprint in his hands.

Gee, fella, sorry about that!   (But not really, you rude bastard!).

Don Firth

Subject: RE: BS: Becoming a Saga Lout
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 28 Apr 08 - 03:09 PM

MMMMMMM

Mudcat
Musical
Mithering
Maundering
Menopausal
Misanthropic
Mutts

G

Subject: RE: BS: Becoming a Saga Lout
From: Acorn4
Date: 28 Apr 08 - 02:57 PM

Why not start a society - the "Band of Grumpy Old Farts" (BOGOFF!)

Maybe the Duke of Edinburgh could be President?

Subject: RE: BS: Becoming a Saga Lout
From: SINSULL
Date: 28 Apr 08 - 01:32 PM

Don,
Just after Jacqui's surgery, we went to the Christmas Tree Shop and she got to ride in a wheel chair while I pushed. I had the best time running down people who pushed by us as I shouted "Crippled lady coming through!!!" Or simply turning the chair sidewise so they pushed their way down the aisle and had no way out.
I loved every minute of it.
Good for you!
Mary

Subject: RE: BS: Becoming a Saga Lout
From: theleveller
Date: 28 Apr 08 - 11:19 AM

"Welcome to the Angry Old Fart Club!"

That should run alongside the GODS (Growing Old Disgracefully Society). Anyone over 50 welcome.

Subject: RE: BS: Becoming a Saga Lout
From: Backwoodsman
Date: 28 Apr 08 - 10:28 AM

"I blew my top at the Council Offices the other day when they b****ed up my bus pass application"

You're lucky you've got buses to use your free pass on!

Subject: RE: BS: Becoming a Saga Lout
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 28 Apr 08 - 10:16 AM

Or one of those sword blades in the axles.... spiked hubcaps.... razor wire strung between the handles to catch the unsuspecting elbow....

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Becoming a Saga Lout
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Apr 08 - 09:18 AM

Good for you, Don. Being able to run over people is the only reason I'd want to be in a chair.

You don't perchance have studded tires on the thing, do you?

Subject: RE: BS: Becoming a Saga Lout
From: GUEST,PMB
Date: 28 Apr 08 - 09:15 AM

The original Saga Tours came from Scandinavia, back in the 9th century, and were nearly as brutal as a coachload of blue rinses.

Subject: RE: BS: Becoming a Saga Lout
From: Severn
Date: 28 Apr 08 - 09:12 AM

Better than becoming a sag-a-lot at age 60.

Subject: RE: BS: Becoming a Saga Lout
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 28 Apr 08 - 05:44 AM

I have another 6 years before Sagadom and 16 before the bus pass..... should I live so long!

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Becoming a Saga Lout
From: mouldy
Date: 28 Apr 08 - 04:33 AM

I qualify by age as a Sagalout, but I've 4 years for the free bus rides!

On my recent holiday with my daughter in Sri Lanka, I was amazed at the number of Sagalouts staying in the same hotels as we were! (I have their brochures, as they do holidays with no single supplements. However I haven't taken a trip with them yet).

I shall be off to NZ on my own in just over 2 weeks - it's a round the world trip, but only cos I'm going out via Hong Kong, and back via LA. All at night, and it's only fuelling stops. I can't sleep when I travel - REALLY looking forward to this trip!

Andrea

Subject: RE: BS: Becoming a Saga Lout
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 28 Apr 08 - 03:32 AM

Don't need Saga to be one!!!
Off to Malta next Sunday for a fortnight and am I going to live it up.
Can still be alive and kicking at 60!!!!

Subject: RE: BS: Becoming a Saga Lout
From: Amergin
Date: 28 Apr 08 - 03:10 AM

Which is only in a couple years, eh LTS? ;)

Subject: RE: BS: Becoming a Saga Lout
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 28 Apr 08 - 02:58 AM

Saga - a company that specialised in package holidays for the over 50's, now expanded into many areas of over 50's living.

Has, over the years gained the sobriquet 'Sex And Games for the Aged'.

A Saga lout is one over 50 who indulges in the sort of unpleasant, loud and alcohol fuelled behaviour usually indulged in by the younger generation or 'lager louts'.

I'm really looking forward to when I can join!

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Becoming a Saga Lout
From: katlaughing
Date: 27 Apr 08 - 11:47 PM

I understand the meaning as used for this thread, but the words "saga lout" don't mean that, usually, to me. I thought at first someone had really turned into a SAGA game addict and was spending all of their time on the sofa playing video games. Then I thought, well maybe it is someone being quite dramatic and creating a "saw-gah" and being a bit rude about it. So, then I open this and find that nutty has to have had a birthday and she's not taking crap from anyone any more. Good for you, Hazel!! (I guess I've been a saga lout all of my life.**bg**)

Subject: RE: BS: Becoming a Saga Lout
From: Don Firth
Date: 27 Apr 08 - 09:58 PM

A guy rudely shoved his way past me in a store a couple of days ago, so I caught up with him and ran over his foot with my wheelchair!

Don Firth

Subject: RE: BS: Becoming a Saga Lout
From: Severn
Date: 27 Apr 08 - 09:45 PM

And since there's a saga born every minute, enough epics to last epochs, you'll never run out, so you can allegendly be able to grab each of those sagas by the tale while you're grabbing the whirrled by its own with the other hand (which ever one's left).

Subject: RE: BS: Becoming a Saga Lout
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 27 Apr 08 - 12:50 PM

Who could you be referring to, Kevin?

Any of us.

The curious thing is that the expression "silly young fool" and "silly old fool" are both common. But it's the ones in the middle whose foolishness does the most damage in the world.

Subject: RE: BS: Becoming a Saga Lout
From: wysiwyg
Date: 27 Apr 08 - 12:17 PM

We have a fine tradition of honoring curmudgeons here at the Cat. And curmudgeonesses.

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: Becoming a Saga Lout
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 27 Apr 08 - 12:16 PM

Who could you be referring to Kevin?

G ¦¬]

Subject: RE: BS: Becoming a Saga Lout
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 27 Apr 08 - 12:14 PM

People who pride themselves on not suffering fools gladly don't generally like it too much when others apply the same attitude towards them...