BS: STATUEtory Rape?

Subject: BS: STATUEtory Rape?
From: Charley Noble
Date: 04 May 08 - 10:28 AM

Evidently the event documented in this series of photos happened in Maine:
Click at Your Own Risk!

Have a nice day!

Cheerily,
Charley Noble

Subject: RE: BS: STATUEtory Rape?
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 May 08 - 12:17 PM

I knew a guy like that moose when I was in college. Poor chap; one day he jumped the tailpipe of a delivery van and ended up with a weenie roast.

Subject: RE: BS: STATUEtory Rape?
From: wysiwyg
Date: 04 May 08 - 12:21 PM

The video of the afterwards part at the moose drum circle is missing, but I know it went something ike this:

Moose 1: "I gave her everything, and she didn't even move!"
Moose 2: "Didn't she even cuddle with you afterwards?"

~Susan

Subject: RE: BS: STATUEtory Rape?
From: Charley Noble
Date: 04 May 08 - 01:48 PM

When male moose are on the loose, so to speak, it's best to keep your distance, be you a jersey cow, a bronze buffalo, or other more fragile entity.

Cheerily,
Charley Noble

Subject: RE: BS: STATUEtory Rape?
From: gnu
Date: 04 May 08 - 02:10 PM

Buffalo, Maine?

Subject: RE: BS: STATUEtory Rape?
From: Charley Noble
Date: 04 May 08 - 03:11 PM

gnu-

I don't know what that statue is doing in Maine either. The only buffalo we have here are domestic, raised for meat.

Cheerily,
Charley Noble

Subject: RE: BS: STATUEtory Rape?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 04 May 08 - 03:14 PM

This is the kind of thing Shane keeps telling me about. I didn't believe him either.

Subject: RE: BS: STATUEtory Rape?
From: Amos
Date: 04 May 08 - 04:57 PM

Right now, as we laugh in our insensitive little group, that poor statue of a buffalo is weeping. "He doesn't write, he doesn't call...". It's enough to make a Maineac out of anyone.


A

Subject: RE: BS: STATUEtory Rape?
From: Charley Noble
Date: 04 May 08 - 05:39 PM

Amos-

Yeh, that's the way them moose are. Love 'em an' leave 'em!

Cheerily,
Charley Noble

Subject: RE: BS: STATUEtory Rape?
From: RangerSteve
Date: 04 May 08 - 06:03 PM

the offspring - buffaloose or moosalo?

Subject: RE: BS: STATUEtory Rape?
From: Big Mick
Date: 04 May 08 - 06:12 PM

You just can't make this shit up.

All the best,

Mick

Subject: RE: BS: STATUEtory Rape?
From: Bat Goddess
Date: 04 May 08 - 07:15 PM

I'd seen the still photos before -- but I doubt this took place in Maine, probably someplace out west.

Maine doesn't have a monopoly on moose -- even in New England.

Very funny, though. Not a very bright moose.

Linn

Subject: RE: BS: STATUEtory Rape?
From: John O'L
Date: 04 May 08 - 07:27 PM

Pity the poor moose. I hope it wan't his first...

Subject: RE: BS: STATUEtory Rape?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 04 May 08 - 07:44 PM

Nope. Not too bright. Probably about Shane's intelligence level...not as dangerous when it's a moose, but still kind of tragic.

Subject: RE: BS: STATUEtory Rape?
From: Big Mick
Date: 04 May 08 - 08:08 PM

Probably better that he copulate with statues. You wouldn't want this fella in the gene pool.

Mick

Subject: RE: BS: STATUEtory Rape?
From: GUEST,Chief Chaos
Date: 04 May 08 - 08:27 PM

Thus the origin of the popular moose saying about non-responsive females:

"She was as cold as a bronze buffalo!"

Subject: RE: BS: STATUEtory Rape?
From: Jeri
Date: 04 May 08 - 08:32 PM

A MALE bronze buffalo! I don't suppose it makes much difference though. I feel sorry for the poor guy. Is he going to think all future liaisons will be so cold and... external? Not even a little nibble on the withers, no little moosey noises of passion. He's probably scarred for life... or at least permanently bent.

Subject: RE: BS: STATUEtory Rape?
From: Amos
Date: 04 May 08 - 08:35 PM

Bent? I hope to tell ya!! Could be even shattered!!


A

Subject: RE: BS: STATUEtory Rape?
From: GUEST,Chief Chaos
Date: 04 May 08 - 08:38 PM

Sorry 'bout that, I got the gist from the thread. I wasn't sure I should click the link because I'm not on my home computer.

Subject: RE: BS: STATUEtory Rape?
From: JennieG
Date: 04 May 08 - 09:01 PM

Must have been one desperate moose to try that.

Cheers
JennieG

Subject: RE: BS: STATUEtory Rape?
From: Charley Noble
Date: 04 May 08 - 09:10 PM

JennieG-

When moose are feeling horny, watch out!

I've heard of the expression "cold as a brass monkey" but never "cold as a bronze buffalo." The language is enriched!

Chief Chaos-

You really don't want to click on the link above if you are at work. You may even want to think twice before clicking on it at home.

Charley Noble

Subject: RE: BS: STATUEtory Rape?
From: GUEST,Chief Chaos
Date: 04 May 08 - 09:14 PM

That's what I thought, I must not be as dumb as I look in the mirror!

Subject: RE: BS: STATUEtory Rape?
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 May 08 - 09:59 PM

Remind me not to wear "Eau de Moose en Heat" cologne in the woods.

But you know, that poor old moose saw the statue, figured that since the buffalo was as horny as he was....

Subject: RE: BS: STATUEtory Rape?
From: Big Mick
Date: 04 May 08 - 10:06 PM

You sure this shouldn't be Statuary Rape? BTW, I am not sure the Rape is correct. That Buffalo never flinched or resisted.

Mick

Subject: RE: BS: STATUEtory Rape?
From: Jeri
Date: 04 May 08 - 10:33 PM

Jeez Mick. You can't rape inanimate objects. You ought to remember that from the incident with the blow-up sheep. Otherwise, that potato might have a case...

Subject: RE: BS: STATUEtory Rape?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 04 May 08 - 10:35 PM

God knows, though, some have tried...

Subject: RE: BS: STATUEtory Rape?
From: open mike
Date: 05 May 08 - 12:18 AM

I saw a movie of two similar critters, both real, live ones, in Yellowstone, I think it was..not sure where i saw it now...

Subject: RE: BS: STATUEtory Rape?
From: Charley Noble
Date: 05 May 08 - 08:45 AM

Bib Mick-

"I am not sure the Rape is correct. That Buffalo never flinched or resisted."

Are you offering that observation as legal advice?

Others might claim that the poor animal (I'm not entirely sure which one) was "buffaloed."

Cheerily,
Charley Noble

Subject: RE: BS: STATUEtory Rape?
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 May 08 - 09:02 AM

I suspect that a friend of the buffalo saw what was going to happen and simply yelled, "Brace yourself, Fred!" and that's why the buff didn't move or offer any obvious resistance.

Subject: RE: BS: STATUEtory Rape?
From: Flash Company
Date: 05 May 08 - 11:19 AM

In the Uk , just outside Milton Keynes, and visible from the train en-route to London are a number of concrete cows, presumably to remind people that this was once the countryside.
Mikr Harding used to have a song about an amorous short-sighted bull, alas I cannot recall any of the words.

FC

Subject: RE: BS: STATUEtory Rape?
From: Charley Noble
Date: 05 May 08 - 11:48 AM

Fred Small composed a lovely song about another moose who feel in love with a cow, based on another news article.

Cheerily,
Charley Noble

Subject: RE: BS: STATUEtory Rape?
From: topical tom
Date: 05 May 08 - 12:20 PM

That's a case of rock without the roll.Clearly consensual, though.

Subject: RE: BS: STATUEtory Rape?
From: GUEST,Chief Chaos
Date: 05 May 08 - 07:10 PM

I've got a cousin that was treed by a moose.
I don't think he waited around to find out what the Moose's intentions were though...

Subject: RE: BS: STATUEtory Rape?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 05 May 08 - 09:43 PM

The buffalo was clearly paralyzed by sheer horror and disbelief, and will probably need several years in group therapy to clear up the resultant emotional damage. That can be costly, specially if it needs to be extended to individual therapy! Then we'd be talking 5 figures for sure. I think that Mudcatters should do a funding drive or maybe some benefit concerts to help out.

Subject: RE: BS: STATUEtory Rape?
From: frogprince
Date: 06 May 08 - 12:37 PM

...and that, boys and girls, is how Two Dog's F**king's little brother got his name..

Subject: RE: BS: STATUEtory Rape?
From: *Laura*
Date: 06 May 08 - 02:39 PM

"A Møøse once bit my sister...

No realli! She was Karving her initials øn the møøse with the sharpened end
of an interspace tøøthbrush given her by Svenge - her brother-in-law -an Oslo
dentist and star of many Norwegian møvies: "The Høt Hands of an Oslo         
Dentist", "Fillings of Passion", "The Huge Mølars of Horst Nordfink"...      "

sorry. wrong kind of moose.....

"Mynd you, møøse bites Kan be pretty nasti..."

Subject: RE: BS: STATUEtory Rape?
From: GUEST,Chief Chaos
Date: 06 May 08 - 09:29 PM

I wonder if you can get Hoof In Mouth from a Moose bite?

Subject: RE: BS: STATUEtory Rape?
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 06 May 08 - 09:35 PM

Moose can give a bad flippin' bite! But it is getting kicked by a moose which is way worse, eh? Or you can get ran over by a moose. That is not good either. I don't know of no one who has been, like, "jumped" by a moose...know what I mean? I mean, like, "done", eh? Like the dirty deed? I do not know of anyone that has been that flippin' unlucky but I will say this: there are skanks in this town that would probally be willing if ya dared them or gave 'em five bucks to do it. Then you would have to find the moose. It might take some tiem, but I am thinkin' it could probablly be done.

- Shane

Subject: RE: BS: STATUEtory Rape?
From: GUEST,Chief Chaos
Date: 06 May 08 - 09:42 PM

I wouldn't recommend it, but there are probably pages of pics on the web for those attracted to that sort of thing.

Subject: RE: BS: STATUEtory Rape?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 06 May 08 - 09:44 PM

I should think it is the kind of thing that most people could only hope to experience once.

Subject: RE: BS: STATUEtory Rape?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 06 May 08 - 09:44 PM

Like sex with grizzlies. A one-time thrill.

Subject: RE: BS: STATUEtory Rape?
From: GUEST,Chief Chaos
Date: 06 May 08 - 09:45 PM

Well LH, I hope to never experience it at all, but, whatever floats your boat!

Subject: RE: BS: STATUEtory Rape?
From: TheSnail
Date: 06 May 08 - 10:07 PM

Googling on "moose sex" gives some ... interesting ... results including this - Moose Sex
and this quote from a website that seems to have disappeared -

Determining the gender of a moose can be very difficult, even for the moose.

Subject: RE: BS: STATUEtory Rape?
From: Charley Noble
Date: 07 May 08 - 08:20 AM

If you haven't experienced the delight of loose moose lips, you haven't experienced delight!

I think Fred Small said something like that in his song but I'm happy to take full credit.

Cheerily,
Charley Noble

Subject: RE: BS: STATUEtory Rape?
From: Bryn Pugh
Date: 07 May 08 - 08:50 AM

Then there was the myopic hedgehog and the scrubbing brush . . .

Subject: RE: BS: STATUEtory Rape?
From: TheSnail
Date: 07 May 08 - 09:24 AM

Let us not forget poor Arnold.

Subject: RE: BS: STATUEtory Rape?
From: Richard Bridge
Date: 07 May 08 - 08:56 PM

I sent a link of this thread to a friend of mine who some time ago told me that this actually happened in a small town in which he has a summer home, hoping that he would put the details of that up - but no luck it seems.