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Folklore: Porridge

Jack Blandiver 12 May 08 - 07:13 PM
Emma B 12 May 08 - 07:22 PM
Escapee 13 May 08 - 12:16 AM
katlaughing 13 May 08 - 12:21 AM
Rowan 13 May 08 - 01:17 AM
gnomad 13 May 08 - 03:43 AM
Jack Blandiver 13 May 08 - 04:28 AM
John MacKenzie 13 May 08 - 04:38 AM
Folkiedave 13 May 08 - 05:30 AM
GUEST,Martin Ryan 13 May 08 - 05:48 AM
The Borchester Echo 13 May 08 - 06:10 AM
Kevin Sheils 13 May 08 - 06:14 AM
MartinRyan 13 May 08 - 10:33 AM
Emma B 13 May 08 - 10:48 AM
Jack Blandiver 13 May 08 - 10:57 AM
Jean(eanjay) 13 May 08 - 11:14 AM
ClaireBear 13 May 08 - 11:56 AM
Emma B 13 May 08 - 12:08 PM
George Papavgeris 13 May 08 - 12:18 PM
Emma B 13 May 08 - 12:33 PM
Banjiman 13 May 08 - 12:44 PM
Big Tim 13 May 08 - 04:15 PM
GUEST,The Mole Catcher's unplugged Apprentice 13 May 08 - 04:44 PM
Liz the Squeak 13 May 08 - 05:23 PM
Jack Blandiver 13 May 08 - 05:26 PM
George Papavgeris 13 May 08 - 05:40 PM
John MacKenzie 13 May 08 - 05:42 PM
Gurney 14 May 08 - 12:51 AM
Seamus Kennedy 14 May 08 - 01:16 AM
Dave Hanson 14 May 08 - 03:08 AM
Jim Carroll 14 May 08 - 03:19 AM
Sandra in Sydney 14 May 08 - 08:04 PM
Gurney 15 May 08 - 04:30 PM
GUEST,Mr Warmtummy 20 May 08 - 10:45 AM
Jack Blandiver 20 May 08 - 11:17 AM
GUEST,Jonny Sunshine 20 May 08 - 02:48 PM
ClaireBear 20 May 08 - 02:58 PM
WalkaboutsVerse 20 May 08 - 03:27 PM
GUEST,Jonny Sunshine 20 May 08 - 03:28 PM
Rowan 20 May 08 - 06:10 PM
Rowan 20 May 08 - 06:58 PM
Liz the Squeak 21 May 08 - 01:02 AM
Rowan 21 May 08 - 02:10 AM
Jack Blandiver 21 May 08 - 03:57 AM
Rowan 21 May 08 - 07:56 PM
Jack Blandiver 22 May 08 - 07:46 AM
GUEST,Mr Red 22 May 08 - 08:19 AM
Liz the Squeak 22 May 08 - 09:45 AM
WalkaboutsVerse 22 May 08 - 09:58 AM
GUEST,Sedayne (Astray) 22 May 08 - 02:31 PM
Rowan 22 May 08 - 06:19 PM
Fidjit 23 May 08 - 05:20 AM
GUEST,Edthefolkie 23 May 08 - 05:58 AM
Jack Blandiver 23 May 08 - 07:28 PM
Muttley 24 May 08 - 02:55 AM
Jack Blandiver 30 Sep 08 - 06:05 AM
John MacKenzie 30 Sep 08 - 06:16 AM
Spleen Cringe 01 Oct 08 - 07:00 PM
pavane 02 Oct 08 - 10:37 AM
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Subject: Folklore: Porridge
From: Jack Blandiver
Date: 12 May 08 - 07:13 PM

After tonight's rehearsal for the Wrecks & Rescues show (a Ron Baxter extravaganza, part of this year's Fylde, featuring a stellar cast of Ross Campbell & Spitting on a Roast and, er, me) I arrived home feeling somewhat peckish and came up with the following repast: one bowl, half filled with porridge oats (Mornflake in this instance), topped off by a whole chopped banana & a handful of sultanas, a liberal drenching of red grape juice & the rest of water; mix well, microwave for four minutes, and - hey presto! Porridge fit for a king.

Hitherto porridge would be made in the traditional monophonic manner, involving boiling in a iron pan, with sea-salt, and poured in the dresser drawer to set cold, whereupon it would be cut into slices & fried in butter. I believe there are prayers to be found in the Carmina Gadelica to accompany the various stages of this arcane usage, although the only words I recall in this association are a diversity of colourfully obscene utterances on the part of an elderly aunt who took no pleasure in the task whatsoever.

So - how do you like your porridge? Ideas, innovations, anecdotes...


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Subject: RE: Folklore: Porridge
From: Emma B
Date: 12 May 08 - 07:22 PM

Well as a 'mongrel' Brit I just love it with home made Canadian Maple syrup :)

Alternatively, if you have any left over it makes a superb cold dessert mixed with fruit purée - especially apple

btw - porridge for me has to have been cooked slowly for ages - overnight on an Aga preferably :)


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Subject: RE: Folklore: Porridge
From: Escapee
Date: 13 May 08 - 12:16 AM

Maple syrup, raisins and a little cinnamon.
SKP


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Subject: RE: Folklore: Porridge
From: katlaughing
Date: 13 May 08 - 12:21 AM

Brown sugar and a small pat of butter and it must be HOT...ugh...I could never eat it cold, nor with any kind of fruit juice! (Of course, I am not talking about the same thing as you all I don't do the "real" coarse, cross/steel-cut, grained, flaky, dusty, must-soak-overnight, traditional, strained through yer gran's used socks stuff you use cross the pond!)**bg**


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Subject: RE: Folklore: Porridge
From: Rowan
Date: 13 May 08 - 01:17 AM

Brown sugar and a small pat of butter and it must be HOT does it for me too, or it did until I started limiting my butter intake; I use milk now instead.

Cheers, Rowan


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Subject: RE: Folklore: Porridge
From: gnomad
Date: 13 May 08 - 03:43 AM

Equal quantities {by volume} of rolled oats, semi-skimmed milk, water. A suspicion of salt, nuke in microwave, stir & re-nuke.

Eat with a bit more cold milk to reduce temp to non-lethal and a touch of brown sugar.

Needs a biger bowl than you might think.


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Subject: RE: Folklore: Porridge
From: Jack Blandiver
Date: 13 May 08 - 04:28 AM

btw - porridge for me has to have been cooked slowly for ages - overnight on an Aga preferably :)

I used to cook on a Rayburn (smokeless), when I had such a thing; living the nomadic existence it's hardly the sort of thing one can carry along with you! Before that it was a lovely smelly old coal burning Esse Century. But did you ever hear tell of a Hay Box? My Northumbrian grandmother used this method for porridge, pouring on boiling water and insulating the pan with hay so basically it cooks itself overnight!


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Subject: RE: Folklore: Porridge
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 13 May 08 - 04:38 AM

1½ ozs, Oatmeal of Afford, 6½ ozs [by weight] of mixed milk and water, 1 generous pinch of salt.
Bring to the boil stirring constantly, allow to simmer slowly for 5 minutes, stirring occasionally.
Pour out into a bowl, and add fresh cold real milk {not milk which has been buggered about with, and had all the goodness taken out in the process]
ENJOY.

G


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Subject: RE: Folklore: Porridge
From: Folkiedave
Date: 13 May 08 - 05:30 AM

Simmer slowly in a bowl with half a pint of whisky.

Strain.

Drink the juice.


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Subject: RE: Folklore: Porridge
From: GUEST,Martin Ryan
Date: 13 May 08 - 05:48 AM

Musical connection? The Gruel Mother ?

Regards


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Subject: RE: Folklore: Porridge
From: The Borchester Echo
Date: 13 May 08 - 06:10 AM

I thought this was going to be a thread about Noel Murphy and Davey Johnstone who had a band with Ron Chesterman called Draught Porridge.


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Subject: RE: Folklore: Porridge
From: Kevin Sheils
Date: 13 May 08 - 06:14 AM

Musical connection? The Gruel Mother ?

I was thinking "Time it is a precious thing" but that's a different sort of porridge!


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Subject: RE: Folklore: Porridge
From: MartinRyan
Date: 13 May 08 - 10:33 AM

Kevin

You're just stirring it!

Regards


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Subject: RE: Folklore: Porridge
From: Emma B
Date: 13 May 08 - 10:48 AM

ooo errr spurtles!


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Subject: RE: Folklore: Porridge
From: Jack Blandiver
Date: 13 May 08 - 10:57 AM

Nice spurtles, Emma. I use a spurtle to hit my zither strings when blowing my 3-hole pipe; a nice wee present from Auld Reekie complete with thistle & rather fetching tartan bow... It also comes out in illustration of the they had spurtles, they had tattie chappers, and troth they werenae joking, for they said they'd gar the pig the claw for he was never yokin verse of M'Ginty's Meal an' Ale, but never, I must admit, when I'm making porridge.


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Subject: RE: Folklore: Porridge
From: Jean(eanjay)
Date: 13 May 08 - 11:14 AM

Porridge is good for you, slow release carbohydrate like bananas so you don't feel hungry for quite a while.

I make mine with oats, water and a pinch of salt and serve with cold milk and no sweetening........and I do have a spurtle which I bought years ago when on holiday in Scotland.


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Subject: RE: Folklore: Porridge
From: ClaireBear
Date: 13 May 08 - 11:56 AM

When I indulge, which ios rarely, I like it hot, with turbinado sugar or the like and one tot each cream and dark rum. Enjoyed this in a B&B on Pender Island (British Columbia) 30 years ago and have never wanted it any other way since. They called it "Miner's Delight." It is also a camper's delight, a folkie's delight, a hiker's delight, a shopper's delight, a churchgoer's delight...

Claire


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Subject: RE: Folklore: Porridge
From: Emma B
Date: 13 May 08 - 12:08 PM

Last year I stayed at The Porridge House B&B in the charming
St Johns Town of Dalry situated on the
Southern Upland Way

Guess what we had for breakfast :)


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Subject: RE: Folklore: Porridge
From: George Papavgeris
Date: 13 May 08 - 12:18 PM

With a bit of plain flour added towards the end of the preparation. It helps viscosity and performs much better when used to fill holes in the wall-plaster.


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Subject: RE: Folklore: Porridge
From: Emma B
Date: 13 May 08 - 12:33 PM

George, you're asking for a clout!
or maybe a cloutie :)


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Subject: RE: Folklore: Porridge
From: Banjiman
Date: 13 May 08 - 12:44 PM

Has to be proper medium or coarse ground oatmeal (never the stuff of the devil, porridge oats), only ever stir with a spurtle, small pinch of salt.

Boil for 5 mins or so .....pour off and serve the wife's (she's Scottish and likes it it just with milk), add a dozen hazel nuts, a generous helping of flaked almonds and same of sultanas and stir.

Leave on heat for another couple of minutes, sprinkle liberally with brown sugar....leave for 2 mins for sugar to melt add milk (but do not stir in) and enjoy daily!

Paul


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Subject: RE: Folklore: Porridge
From: Big Tim
Date: 13 May 08 - 04:15 PM

Novelist Angus McVicar, a son of the manse (in Argyll), wrote a lovely memoir called 'Salt in My Porridge', which is to my taste.


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Subject: RE: Folklore: Porridge
From: GUEST,The Mole Catcher's unplugged Apprentice
Date: 13 May 08 - 04:44 PM

Jon Peel described the pop music, that the BBC was playing in the late 60's, as predictable porridge it seems to be geeting that way in some "folk" music of today.

Charlotte R


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Subject: RE: Folklore: Porridge
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 13 May 08 - 05:23 PM

Porridge? I'd rather eat Goldilocks - as indeed the bears did in the original unsanitised version of the story.

LTS


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Subject: RE: Folklore: Porridge
From: Jack Blandiver
Date: 13 May 08 - 05:26 PM

Who's been sleeping in my porridge?


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Subject: RE: Folklore: Porridge
From: George Papavgeris
Date: 13 May 08 - 05:40 PM

EmmaB, sorry about that - too tempting. I do actually like porridge, but simply done, the way Giok describes above. I don't hold with adding any kind of syrup or spices like cinnamon to it though, it would feel to me like trying to disguise it. I prefer my maple syrup and cinnamon on French toast or homemade doughnut balls.


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Subject: RE: Folklore: Porridge
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 13 May 08 - 05:42 PM

I'd rather eat Goldilocks too Liz.
But that's a different story.


G


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Subject: RE: Folklore: Porridge
From: Gurney
Date: 14 May 08 - 12:51 AM

To get back to the family show....

When I was a drinking man, long ago, I would get home and realise that I was hungry. A cup of dry porridge oats with lashings of sugar, washed down -and it takes some washing down- with milk. Later I mixed the milk in, but that's a bit poofy.

Sounds rough even to me now, but it's quick, easy, and helps with the booze. As mister Dilmar says, "Doo try it!


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Subject: RE: Folklore: Porridge
From: Seamus Kennedy
Date: 14 May 08 - 01:16 AM

Breakfast - 3/4 cup oats, 3/4 cup yogurt, 1/2 cup honey, 1 tbsp whiskey, 3/4 cup chopped mixed fruit. Stir well. eat.

Seamus


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Subject: RE: Folklore: Porridge
From: Dave Hanson
Date: 14 May 08 - 03:08 AM

Throw all that crap away and just drink the whisky. It's not called ' the water of life ' for nothing, note, no E in WHISKY.

eric


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Subject: RE: Folklore: Porridge
From: Jim Carroll
Date: 14 May 08 - 03:19 AM

I prefer it with time off for good behaviour
Jim Carroll


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Subject: RE: Folklore: Porridge
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 14 May 08 - 08:04 PM

porridge served with banana & buttermilk! The morning after my folk club I usually have left over full-cream milk, yum

Tho I've not eaten simple porridge for a while cos I take muesli to festivals & finish it when I get home, then I started making my own muesli/porridge & cooking it before serving with the usual extras.

Next I started eating it cold with the usual extras.

But it is getting colder & a hot brekkie will be yummy.

sandra

for the record, my very own muesli

muesli
oats
mixed extruded bran (wheat, barley, oats, rice)
polenta
barley or triticale flakes
rice flakes

mix together, cook & serve with bananas, sultanas & milk/buttermilk


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Subject: RE: Folklore: Porridge
From: Gurney
Date: 15 May 08 - 04:30 PM

Eric, no E in Scotch whisky, but Seamus probably drinks Irish whiskey. Not a bad drop.

Mind you, I've never found a bad drop, just some better than others.


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Subject: RE: Folklore: Porridge
From: GUEST,Mr Warmtummy
Date: 20 May 08 - 10:45 AM

eat an apple,

then......

1/2 mug of porridge

1 and a bit mugs of skimmed milk

microwave turning/stirring as required until a a bit dry & crusty looking on top

chuck in a small banana

melt in 2 squares of Cote d'Or Experiences 86% Cocoa Dark Chocolate

mash into a rich dark brown gloop

then eat

then swallow a multi vitamin tablet washed down by a mug of very strong black tea..

well.. that gets me a awake and fit for purpose most weekday mornings !!!


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Subject: RE: Folklore: Porridge
From: Jack Blandiver
Date: 20 May 08 - 11:17 AM

One week on from the first post, and I've refined the recipe only slightly, using more liquid in the mix & adding a finely sliced apple (knew that V-slicer would come in handy one day...).

But here's the ultimate:

Make a pan of traditional modal porridge, and decant into a suitably large bowl. Better still, make the porridge in a wok, which at least gives the option of dry roasting the oats before adding the water. In either case, leave over-night to cool.

In the morning you'll have a bowl/wok-ful of cold porridge jelly with enough integrity to withstand being turned out onto a suitable surface whilst maintaining its lenticular morphology.

Next, slice this into strips of maybe an inch (or less) in thickness and fill a decent size un-oiled baking tray. Ideally, use an Aga, or a Rayburn, or an Esse, but otherwise put this in an oven at a middling peep so as to drive all the moisture from the slices.

This process takes a very long time (which is why I advise using a fired oven which is on anyway), but believe you me, the results are worth the time as what you end up with is hollow, and hard, and quite unbelievable as the product of porridge oats. It is crunchy, wholesome, versatile, either as a thing in itself or the ideal accessory to any meal.

I call these Oat Sedaynes (after the inventor) but if anyone else has experience of anything similar I'd be interested to hear from you.


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Subject: RE: Folklore: Porridge
From: GUEST,Jonny Sunshine
Date: 20 May 08 - 02:48 PM

Can I just say that the only song I can think of offhand that mentions porridge is Bob Marley's "No Woman No Cry"


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Subject: RE: Folklore: Porridge
From: ClaireBear
Date: 20 May 08 - 02:58 PM

Clearly then you've never heard June Tabor sing Les Barker's take on the Goldilocks tale: "My Husband's Got No Porridge in Him."

Oh dear oh.


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Subject: RE: Folklore: Porridge
From: WalkaboutsVerse
Date: 20 May 08 - 03:27 PM

For one: half a mug of porridge oats, half a mug of water, and half a mug of soya "milk"/juice, plus one teaspoon of sugar - heated and stirred. (I like soya with coffee and cereal flakes, also.)


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Subject: RE: Folklore: Porridge
From: GUEST,Jonny Sunshine
Date: 20 May 08 - 03:28 PM

Indeed I haven't. I think I shall have to seek it out!


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Subject: RE: Folklore: Porridge
From: Rowan
Date: 20 May 08 - 06:10 PM

Sedayne's recipe makes me think he's making a northern hemisphere version of ANZAC biscuits, rather than porridge.

Being rather simple, I prefer the simple life. That goes for both porridge and ANZAC biscuits, in my case.

Cheers, Rowan


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Subject: RE: Folklore: Porridge
From: Rowan
Date: 20 May 08 - 06:58 PM

But Sedayne has also reminded me of "Scroggin", a mixture of oatmeal (as rolled oats), various dried fruits, various nuts and chocolate.

Before the onset of muesli bars and other, similar, nonsenses Scroggin was made up and used by bushwalkers in Oz as a way of taking snacks without having to drop packs; you kept a bag of it in your parka pocket and ust dipped a hand in while walking. You could add water and boil it up with some powdered milk for breakfast and call it porridge, or add water and boil it up with some rum/whisky/liquer after dinner and call it dessert.

There's a book on the history of bushwalking in Victoria called "The Scroggin Eaters".

Cheers, Rowan


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Subject: RE: Folklore: Porridge
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 21 May 08 - 01:02 AM

So could that be the origin of the phrase = 'to get me scroggins' meaning to get some sexual activity with a female of the same species (rather than a sheep) - like 'to get me oats'...?

LTS


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Subject: RE: Folklore: Porridge
From: Rowan
Date: 21 May 08 - 02:10 AM

Well, Liz, scroggin was there to keep your pecker up.

Cheers, Rowan


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Subject: RE: Folklore: Porridge
From: Jack Blandiver
Date: 21 May 08 - 03:57 AM

See HERE for Anzac Biscuits; otherwise, these are something quite different from Oat Sedaynes which give no indication whatsoever of their being made of 100% rolled oats. One person I gave one too refused to believe it was food at all, thinking it was a plastic dog toy!

And see HERE for Scroggin.


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Subject: RE: Folklore: Porridge
From: Rowan
Date: 21 May 08 - 07:56 PM

Go, Sedayne!

The discussion about "the true recipe" for ANZAC biscuits, among those who reckon they "know" rivals any discussion on Mudcat about "what is folk". And I notice that M&Ms have intruded into scroggin; traditionally it was broken up blocks of chocolate but wimps might have used Smarties, which M&Ms have attempted to replace.

Cheers, Rowan


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Subject: RE: Folklore: Porridge
From: Jack Blandiver
Date: 22 May 08 - 07:46 AM

Where might be find such a discussion, Rowan? On second thoughts, maybe I don't want to know, especially if, as you suggest, it's anything like the "what is folk?" threads on Mudcat.

Otherwise - I always thought M&Ms replaced Chocolate Treats, at least they did in the UK, where Smarties are a different beast altogether, though maybe that's more to do with the packaging than anything else, that distinctive cardboard tube which determines the experience right down to different coloured lids each with a different letter of the alphabet. Are they still like that I wonder? Must investigate!


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Subject: RE: Folklore: Porridge
From: GUEST,Mr Red
Date: 22 May 08 - 08:19 AM

placed in boiling water in a dish. Left over-night. Microwave for 1 min 30 and served with Treacle.

Ground Oatmeal slow cooking over-night is yummy and mimics the traditional method of simmering in a porringer on the hob.

(treacle is black, golden syrup is er golden). A porringer is a double saucepan specifically for porridge. The water in the bottom pan limits the temperature to 100degC at STP.


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Subject: RE: Folklore: Porridge
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 22 May 08 - 09:45 AM

Sedayne - you'll be disappointed. The round Smarties tube with the coloured plastic lid vanished from our shelves a year and more ago. Now they're hexagonal (or octagonal) with integral card lid flap. And they have blue ones. The blue ones were withdrawn some time ago amidst fears that the blue food colouring used was sending little kiddies into orbit on E numbers (nothing to do with the amount of sugar in the things, no, of course not!) but it has recently returned with a certificate of purity - no nasty chemicals were harmed to turn your smartie blue.


LTS


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Subject: RE: Folklore: Porridge
From: WalkaboutsVerse
Date: 22 May 08 - 09:58 AM

Avocado may not be the folkiest of foods but, occasionally, I have a splurge, and have put some on my cereal flakes, with soya, as above...and I have a hunch they may go okay with porridge, also..?


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Subject: RE: Folklore: Porridge
From: GUEST,Sedayne (Astray)
Date: 22 May 08 - 02:31 PM

LTS - I'm speechless!

WAV - Once more your culinary eccentricity beggars belief; but I can confirm in this instance that your hunch about avocado & porridge is bang on the nail.


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Subject: RE: Folklore: Porridge
From: Rowan
Date: 22 May 08 - 06:19 PM

Smarties (in Oz) are sold in bags rather than tubes, Sedayne.

Rivalries over "authentic" recipes for ANZAC biscuits seemed (to me) to be played out between 'wannabe' traditional cooks and predate the internet; I can't tell you where they occur now. Your link gives what seems to be the current truth about their history and development.

Cheers, Rowan


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Subject: RE: Folklore: Porridge
From: Fidjit
Date: 23 May 08 - 05:20 AM

"Wormwood Scrubs" for me

Chas


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Subject: RE: Folklore: Porridge
From: GUEST,Edthefolkie
Date: 23 May 08 - 05:58 AM

You can tell I'm Notts working class; when I was little I used to be served Scotts Porage Oats with Lyle's Golden Syrup by me mum.

Multi media experience - picture of large muscular northern type of person in a vest and kilt putting the shot on Porage Oats packet, also dead lion with bees on Lyle's tin, with "Out of the strong came forth sweetness" motto.

Part of the fun is to get the tin open without being covered in sticky gunge, then get the dollop of syrup smack in the middle of the porridge while leaving none on the spoon.

Talking of porridge, I'll naff orf now.


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Subject: RE: Folklore: Porridge
From: Jack Blandiver
Date: 23 May 08 - 07:28 PM

Okay - major breakthrough tonight in my microwave porridge recipe; adding chopped apples to the mix (see first post) and cooking in the microwave for exactly... 4 minutes 33 seconds!


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Subject: RE: Folklore: Porridge
From: Muttley
Date: 24 May 08 - 02:55 AM

I must admit to being somewhat of an 'iconoclast' when it comes to porridge.

I prefer the "Quick Oats" - probably because I have to make them between dropping off the 'hugs and kisses' at the railway station then coming back to my porridge and then wallop that down before dropping our autistic son at high school (MUST be at the correct time or everyone cops hell for the rest of the day).

So my preferred method is to get the proportons correct, boil it uyp until it's JUST right and then drop in two or three dessert spoons of "Ironbark Honey" - this is honey derived from bees that collect primarily from Ironbark Trees (Eucalyptus sideroxylon).

My dad grew up on a steady (and monotonously regular (like EVERY day) diet of porridge served by his VERY dour mother in Bonnyrigg / Lasswade - just south of Edinburgh - and it was made with salt. To this day if you want to see an arthritic 83-year-old run a quarter mile faster than Jesse Owens (or Asafa Powell) just offer him a bowl of porridge - - - DETESTS the stuff.

Gotta respond to John Giok:

His recipe was thus -
1½ ozs, Oatmeal of Afford, 6½ ozs [by weight] of mixed milk and water, 1 generous pinch of salt.
Bring to the boil stirring constantly, allow to simmer slowly for 5 minutes, stirring occasionally.
Pour out into a bowl, and add fresh cold real milk {not milk which has been buggered about with, and had all the goodness taken out in the process]
ENJOY.

Hate to say this John, but that was dad's mum's recipe too - it was also the recipe stipulated by the new cookhouse warder at Fremantle Gaol about 70-80 years ago or so. Instead of the Golden Syrup poured in as they were used to, the new guy STIPULATED that porridge "HAD tae be made wi' lashin's ae salt - or it jist wasnae PORRIDGE!!!"

Unfortunately, the prisoners despised it as much as my dad evidently does and there was a riot. As a result, the cookhouse head warders first day on the job was also his last!

Muttley


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Subject: RE: Folklore: Porridge
From: Jack Blandiver
Date: 30 Sep 08 - 06:05 AM

Well, here we are on the blustery last day of September facing an uncertain economic and meteorological future; the glorious Indian Summer days of the weekend are but a distant memory, and autumn it seems, is very much upon us. Time when a young man's heart (I am, after all, only 47, which is still young in the folk scene; at least it is in the old-school singarounds anyway, which is another issue...) turns to porridge. Now there's an image - one of a young man's heart turning to porridge; I dare say there's a song, or a story, in there somewhere!

Okay, to this end I present the perfected Porridge Turnover, for an image of which (and other autumnal essentials) see Here.

You will need:

Jumbo Oats
Sultanas
Grape Juice
Mixed Spice
Tap Water
(no milk, no salt, no sugar!)

The method is simplicity itself, but be sure to do this before going to bed.

One decent sized microwave-friendly cereal bowl, 1/3 fill with Jumbo Oats, to which add half that amount of Sultanas. Add a pinch of Mixed Spice, and stir in Grape Juice until thoroughly soaked. Top up with Tap Water, and mix until a liquid consistency is uniform. Place bowl into microwave and blast on full power for 4 minutes. Remove bowl from appliance and cover with plate. Stand aside until morning.

When morning comes, invert bowl onto plate and allow gravity to liberate the resulting porridge cake from the bowl. This might take some persuasion, but please take care so as not to disrupt the integrity of the bowl-moulded dome, for much of the appeal of this dish lies in the aesthetic gratification one receives simply in gazing upon this culinary wonder.

Before eating, you might like to select some suitably seasonal music. As you can see in my picture I have made three suggestions - 1) Voice of the People Volume 7 - First I'm Going to Sing You a Ditty - Rural Fun and Frolics, 2) Florilège de la Vielle à Roue by Rene Zosso & Anne Osnowycz, and, of course, 3) Hexenduction Hour by The Fall - but each to their own in this respect.

How one eats the Porridge Turnover is also a matter of personal taste. They, like me, might want to launch into it cold; others might wish to return it to the microwave for a thorough warming. The truly adventurous might wish to slice it, and fry it in a hot pan with butter. Whatever way you go, satisfaction will be guaranteed.

Sedayne of the Insane Beard,
The Last Day of September 2008.


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Subject: RE: Folklore: Porridge
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 30 Sep 08 - 06:16 AM

Jumbo oats??

What do elephants have to do with cereals?

JM


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Subject: RE: Folklore: Porridge
From: Spleen Cringe
Date: 01 Oct 08 - 07:00 PM

Can I suggest barberries? For that sweet 'n' sour vibe?


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Subject: RE: Folklore: Porridge
From: pavane
Date: 02 Oct 08 - 10:37 AM

Jumbo was just the name of one very large elephant in London zoo, 1800's. Only got taken over to represent the species later.


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