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BS: The ultimate threat to America!

Little Hawk 13 May 08 - 07:39 PM
GUEST,Chief Chaos 13 May 08 - 08:50 PM
JohnInKansas 13 May 08 - 11:12 PM
Slag 14 May 08 - 06:21 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 14 May 08 - 06:46 AM
Rapparee 14 May 08 - 09:48 AM
sian, west wales 14 May 08 - 10:04 AM
Little Hawk 14 May 08 - 11:16 AM
Donuel 14 May 08 - 11:24 AM
Little Hawk 14 May 08 - 12:02 PM
Donuel 14 May 08 - 12:27 PM
Bobert 14 May 08 - 12:53 PM
Mrrzy 14 May 08 - 01:03 PM
gnu 14 May 08 - 01:45 PM
Little Hawk 14 May 08 - 02:54 PM
Rapparee 14 May 08 - 02:55 PM
Little Hawk 14 May 08 - 03:07 PM
gnomad 14 May 08 - 07:59 PM
Little Hawk 14 May 08 - 08:02 PM
Rapparee 14 May 08 - 08:09 PM
GUEST,Chicken Charlie 14 May 08 - 08:30 PM
Little Hawk 14 May 08 - 09:23 PM
JohnInKansas 15 May 08 - 06:04 AM
Rapparee 15 May 08 - 06:46 AM
Little Hawk 15 May 08 - 09:58 AM
JohnInKansas 15 May 08 - 03:27 PM

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Subject: BS: The ultimate threat to America!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 13 May 08 - 07:39 PM

I had been quite sure it was Liechtenstein that was next in line to be attacked by the USA, not Iran or North Korea.

I was wrong.

It seems that Liechtenstein has made such extraordinary progress in their development of absolutely dreadful WMDs in the last year...the extent of which is not generally known but which would terrify the American public if they did know....that Washington no longer DARES to attack Liechtenstein or even threaten to!!!

This is an extraordinary development, and it may be the beginning of what will be known as "the Liechtensteinian Century" in future history books.

Liechtenstein now has a weapon that can instantly emasculate every American male at the push of a button and reduce his remaining weenie to the size of a baby's little finger. It can also make all the Walmart stores and cineplexes crumble into dust and simultaneously cause marijuana plants to grow luxuriantly on all the lawns and parks across American, thus making enforcement of the marijuana laws effectively impossible, and contributing to a breakdown in American morals and standards (not that there was much left to destroy in that sense...but...well, you know...).

Liechtenstein is biding its time for now and has made no public announcements regarding the situation, but their secret activities are well known by governmental intelligence services in all the great powers.

We are witnessing an unforgettable moment in world history, a sea change in human affairs.

Watch Liechtenstein! The "sleeping croissant" is about to awaken, and when it does it will shake the world.


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Subject: RE: BS: The ultimate threat to America!
From: GUEST,Chief Chaos
Date: 13 May 08 - 08:50 PM

So tell me LH,
When did Nurse Ratched move to Lichtenstein?


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Subject: RE: BS: The ultimate threat to America!
From: JohnInKansas
Date: 13 May 08 - 11:12 PM

More to the point, why did Nurse Ratched neglect to give Little Hawk his meds today?

Was there some emergency at the Clinic that diverted her from her normal rounds?

Is some other of our friends in great distress, requiring her complete attention?

This could be ominous.

John


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Subject: RE: BS: The ultimate threat to America!
From: Slag
Date: 14 May 08 - 06:21 AM

Liechtenstein! What next? Andorra? Monte Carlo? Not Tonga! Where will it all end? Forward my mail to Lake Titicaca ( has anyone seen Eric Flemming of late?).


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Subject: RE: BS: The ultimate threat to America!
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 14 May 08 - 06:46 AM

What's the problem? Having a weenie the size of a baby's little finger would be an improvement for a huge number of guys.


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Subject: RE: BS: The ultimate threat to America!
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 May 08 - 09:48 AM

I dunno, but I'm going to start wearing tinfoil pants. Just as a preventive measure, mind you, but I can't hardly find it now when I need it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The ultimate threat to America!
From: sian, west wales
Date: 14 May 08 - 10:04 AM

The Vietnam war years were a _very_ good time to be a teenage Canadian girl in a border town. Lots of teenage American boys (of conscription age) were of a marryin' kinda mind.

I can see that this weapon could do a lot to boost the popularity of Canadian guys with women of the female persuasion State-side ...

sian


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Subject: RE: BS: The ultimate threat to America!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 14 May 08 - 11:16 AM

Good point. And there is almost no danger of Liechtenstein turning their WMDs on Canada. They like Canadians, eh? ;-)

Tell those American women that Canadian men are standing by to rush into the breach whenever our assistance is needed!


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Subject: RE: BS:the ULTIMATE THREAT to usa
From: Donuel
Date: 14 May 08 - 11:24 AM

Nurse Ratshit had a daughter in Fl. to her 3rd husband.

Her name was Katherine Harris.

...................


The ultimate threat to the US is libraries.

In our nation's capitol we were going to build new 21st century library.

Instead our mayor has changed the land use to a (multi use) strip mall.

Clearly the biggest threat to America is libraries.


(OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO)

Listen up Rapaire !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My little neighborhood library on Aspen Hill MD made the news but was too hot to go national news. Two agents from the Dept. of Homeland Security came in, flashed their badges and demanded all the records of every user, employee and transaction. The two little old ladies refused and they were threatened with the riot act and warrants. They refused again.

The agents left and the librairans reported the incident to HLS and the Washinton Post.

The agents were told to lay off a week later.

I think these 2 librariians deserve the RROSA PARKS MEDAL OF HONOR. And if there isn't one we should make one.


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Subject: RE: BS: The ultimate threat to America!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 14 May 08 - 12:02 PM

My goodness! I wonder what the hell Homeland Security thought they were after? What nerve.

Sounds just like George Orwell's "1984" to me. Those two little old ladies must've had some guts to stand up to them like that. Most people would have just been good little sheep and rolled over and played dead. You do that, and the wolf has got you.


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Subject: RE: BS: The ultimate threat to America!
From: Donuel
Date: 14 May 08 - 12:27 PM

It must have worked elsewhere.

You know little Hawk about 7 years ago I was highly suspicious of your ideas since your avatar had the word hawk in it.

boy was I wrong.


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Subject: RE: BS: The ultimate threat to America!
From: Bobert
Date: 14 May 08 - 12:53 PM

Personally, I like Robert Raushenburg's paintings alot more than Lichtenstein's stuff...

B~


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Subject: RE: BS: The ultimate threat to America!
From: Mrrzy
Date: 14 May 08 - 01:03 PM

"Luxembourg is next to go
And who knows, maybe Monaco!"


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Subject: RE: BS: The ultimate threat to America!
From: gnu
Date: 14 May 08 - 01:45 PM

Lich ten stein and you'll get quite a buzz on.


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Subject: RE: BS: The ultimate threat to America!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 14 May 08 - 02:54 PM

Well, you have to remember what the hawk symbolized in Native culture, Donuel. He was a messenger. That's a spiritual symbol and it's a powerful one and a good one.

Anyway, I'm glad you were pleasantly surprised. ;-)


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Subject: RE: BS: The ultimate threat to America!
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 May 08 - 02:55 PM

You don't know librarians very well do you, LH?

Now if they were from the BFP of Lichtenstein....


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Subject: RE: BS: The ultimate threat to America!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 14 May 08 - 03:07 PM

The "BFP"?

Heck, Shane knows librarians a lot better than I do. He's always in there using their computer to surf porn sites, and then getting kicked out for some reason.


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Subject: RE: BS: The ultimate threat to America!
From: gnomad
Date: 14 May 08 - 07:59 PM

Uh, LH, do you happen to know of a Liechtenstein support group?

Most of that lot sounds OK in a land where Walmart is a newish threat, cineplexes a slightly older one, and the dimensions of the American wiener an indifference to all but the most raddled of septuagenarian slappers.

The weed we can pass over,



if we must, but,




Uh,    ne'mind,


's all good, they do ski-ing there, right?   I'm goin to Liechtenstein, soon's I clear my minds........


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Subject: RE: BS: The ultimate threat to America!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 14 May 08 - 08:02 PM

Yeah, I know just what you mean. I'm thinking things may actually get a lot better after Liechtenstein takes over... ;-D


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Subject: RE: BS: The ultimate threat to America!
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 May 08 - 08:09 PM

Book F'ing Police


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Subject: RE: BS: The ultimate threat to America!
From: GUEST,Chicken Charlie
Date: 14 May 08 - 08:30 PM

Please, "decisive moment," not "unforgettable moment." Get the rhetoric right, dude.

BTW, the reason the Licht. MWDs have not been reported is that they also obviously have cloaking devices.

Are you by any chance channeling Eric von Daniken?

CC


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Subject: RE: BS: The ultimate threat to America!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 14 May 08 - 09:23 PM

No...but I am channeling Mae West every Saturday afternoon at 3 pm. ;-) That, however, has no useful bearing on the subject matter of this thread.

And it's WMDs. (I agree about the cloaking devices.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The ultimate threat to America!
From: JohnInKansas
Date: 15 May 08 - 06:04 AM

So it might be Lichtenstein that has already delivered, via cloaked weapons, the latest plague spreading from local points of delivery in Texas:

Ants swarm over Houston area

'Crazy rasberry ants' emerging by the billions with onset of humid season

By Linda Stewart Ball
The Associated Press
updated 2:19 p.m. CT, Wed., May. 14, 2008

DALLAS - In what sounds like a really low-budget horror film, voracious swarming ants that apparently arrived in Texas aboard a cargo ship are invading homes and yards across the Houston area, shorting out electrical boxes and messing up computers.

The hairy, reddish-brown creatures are known as "crazy rasberry ants" — crazy, because they wander erratically instead of marching in regimented lines1, and "rasberry" after Tom Rasberry, an exterminator who did battle against them early on.

"They're itty-bitty things about the size of fleas, and they're just running everywhere," said Patsy Morphew of Pearland, who is constantly sweeping them off her patio and scooping them out of her pool by the cupful. "There's just thousands and thousands of them. If you've seen a car racing, that's how they are. They're going fast, fast, fast. They're crazy."

The ants — formally known as "paratrenicha species near pubens"2 — have spread to five Houston-area counties since they were first spotted in Texas in 2002.

The newly recognized species is believed to have arrived3 in a cargo shipment through the port of Houston. Scientists are not sure exactly where the ants came from, but their cousins, commonly called crazy ants, are found in the Southeast and the Caribbean.

"At this point, it would be nearly impossible to eradicate the ant because it is so widely dispersed," said Roger Gold, a Texas A&M University entomologist.

The good news? They eat fire ants, the stinging red terrors of Texas summers4.

But the ants also like to suck the sweet juices from plants, feed on such beneficial insects as ladybugs, and eat the hatchlings of a small, endangered type of grouse known as the Attwater prairie chicken.

They also bite humans, though not with a stinger like fire ants.
Worse, they, like some other species of ants, are attracted to electrical equipment, for reasons that are not well understood by scientists.

They have ruined pumps at sewage pumping stations, fouled computers and at least one homeowner's gas meter, and caused fire alarms to malfunction. They have been spotted at NASA's Johnson Space Center and close to Hobby Airport, though they haven't caused any major problems there yet.

Exterminators say calls from frustrated homeowners and businesses are increasing because the ants — which are starting to emerge by the billions with the onset of the warm, humid season — appear to be resistant to over-the-counter ant killers.

"The population built up so high that typical ant controls simply did no good," said Jason Meyers, an A&M doctoral student who is writing his dissertation on the one-eighth-inch-long ant.

It's not enough just to kill the queen. Experts say each colony has multiple queens that have to be taken out5.

At the same time, the ants aren't taking the bait usually left out in traps, according to exterminators, who want the Environmental Protection Agency to loosen restrictions on the use of more powerful pesticides.

And when you do kill these ants, the survivors turn it to their advantage: They pile up the dead, sometimes using them as a bridge to cross safely over surfaces treated with pesticide6.

1 Obviously a bio-modified genetic freak species, as would be expected in a weapon of mass destruction.

2 "near-pubens" sounds like filthy talk to me, and is probably the source of the rumors about weenie-shrinking.

3 but nobody knows for sure how they got here. A cloaked delivery system seems perfectly consistent with their arrival.

4 A nefarious plot by the Licthens. Plant a beneficial feature to allay widespread alarm until it's too late.

5 Obviously patterned after the government of Lichtenstein, which some say is akin to no government at all - and/or too many leaders with no idea what to do next.

6 Are Lichtensteinians smart enough to teach genetically modified bugs to do this? Or are they really from an extraterrestrial invader, sent just to soften us up?

John


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Subject: RE: BS: The ultimate threat to America!
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 May 08 - 06:46 AM

Has anyone considered a cooperative agreement between "L" and the ants, which are obviously extraterrestrial invaders?


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Subject: RE: BS: The ultimate threat to America!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 15 May 08 - 09:58 AM

Crazy ants! I've seen those hyperactive little bastards down in Mexico and the Caribbean. Yeah, they run around like mice on a hot griddle, and they're tiny, and they bite. Horrible little things!

Liechtenstein is probably being unfairly blamed in this case of the crazy ants. It doesn't sound like their style at all to me. But if a giant flying pastry is seen approaching the eastern seaboard, then you will know that the Sleeping Croissant has finally awoken. Be afraid. Be very afraid.


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Subject: RE: BS: The ultimate threat to America!
From: JohnInKansas
Date: 15 May 08 - 03:27 PM

It has occured to me that if the Liechtensteinis do have a WMD that shrinks weenies, testing it on a bunch of lab chimps might have shrunk everything, since they're nearly all weenie to begin with. Are those tiny flea-sized "ants" perhaps actually hords of lab-chimp descendants, from a few that escaped (or were carelessly discarded) after being used to test the effectiveness of the weapon?

Giant flying pasta has been quite frequently reported all across the US, but they're quite well known and appear friendly. No reports, that I've seen - yet - however of flying pastry.

John


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Mudcat time: 19 September 12:57 PM EDT

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