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Songs about being fat, overweight, heavy, obese
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Subject: HELP ... 'Fat Songs? From: Deckman Date: 08 Jun 08 - 11:52 AM I have a dear friend who meets weekly with a group of "overweight" women. She's been asking me for several months to come and sing "fat songs" at one of their meetings. I have declined so far, largely (there's a pun there) because I can't think of any "fat songs." Does anyone have any suggestions? Bob(deckman)Nelson (still skinny in Seattle) |
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Subject: RE: HELP ... 'Fat Songs? From: Melissa Date: 08 Jun 08 - 12:01 PM That sounds like a dangerous gig! Huggin' and Chalkin' (maybe called something like Rosabell McGee?) is only moderately offensive |
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Subject: RE: HELP ... 'Fat Songs? From: Cats Date: 08 Jun 08 - 12:08 PM There's always, 'Sixteen Stone' which you will find on another thread and 'Big Knicker Blues'. Both definitely worth doing. |
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Subject: RE: HELP ... 'Fat Songs? From: Melissa Date: 08 Jun 08 - 12:11 PM Grow, Mrs Goldfarb--Alan Sherman, I think Too Much Butt (for One Pair of Jeans) |
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Subject: RE: HELP ... 'Fat Songs? From: Marion Date: 08 Jun 08 - 12:12 PM Fat-Bottomed Girls by Queen. |
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Subject: RE: HELP ... 'Fat Songs? From: Marion Date: 08 Jun 08 - 12:14 PM There's a song I've heard where the hook line was something like "I'm built for comfort not for speed..". Maybe somebody else can supply a source or correct title. |
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Subject: Lyr Add: SIXTEEN STONE and ALL AROUND MY FAT From: lady penelope Date: 08 Jun 08 - 12:26 PM Sounds like one of the verses from '16 stone'. SIXTEEN STONE (Hazel Absalom) She weighs 16 stone and what do you get, A whole lot of woman and that's a fact. Take a closer look, you must agree, There's no sharp corner on a woman like me! You can't cuddle up to a bag of bones, If her ribs stick out, leave her well alone. We've a soft welcome for a man in need, We're surely built for comfort if not for speed! Cho: She weighs 16 stone and what do you get, A whole lot of woman and that's a fact. Take a closer look, you must agree, There are no sharp corners on a woman like me! Well if you've seen more meat on a greasy spoon, She won't keep you warm, get rid of her soon. So come on guys, if you're down in the dumps, Better get your arm around a gal with bumps. Well the magazines say be skin and bone, But big girls never have to sleep alone, We don't disappear when we turn on our side, And there's plenty of suspension for a bumpy ride Well if you see us coming better step aside, A lot of men didn't and a lot of men died. One gives you desire, the other a thrill, If the tall ones don't get you then the small ones will! By Liz the Sqeak? @feminist filename[ STONE16 Then there's the parody I wrote.... All Around My Fat Lyrics by: Penny Ward (submitted by Micca) Tune: All around my hat (Traditional) Chorus: All around my fat I will wear the Playtex Girdle And all around my fat For an evening and a day And if anyone should ask me The reason why I'm wearing it It's all for my true love Who thinks I'm built this way Verse 1 Take half a pound of talcum And a small jar of Vaseline A shoehorn comes in handy It's the biggest you've ever seen! You put it all together And you will plainly see I'm a different shape completely And in abject agony Chorus Verse 2 The other night he bought me A small box of lingerie All frothy lace and satin The colour of ivory I went to change and left him Anticipating hedony So much for Janet Reger I can't get them past my knees! Chorus Verse3 Fare thee well Weight Watchers And fare the well the step class Three stone have I gained And my waistline I have lost I'll eat and I'll be merry Dispense with guilt and calories I'll stuff the sodding 'F' plan It's a fry up for me tea! |
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Subject: RE: HELP ... 'Fat Songs? From: pdq Date: 08 Jun 08 - 12:33 PM "Chicken Cordon Bleus" by Steve Goodman ("Fat is where it's at...") |
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Subject: RE: HELP ... 'Fat Songs? From: Deckman Date: 08 Jun 08 - 12:40 PM WOW ...I'M IMPRESSED! And yes ... it certainly does sound like a very dangerous gig. Keep 'em coming, and thanks! Bob |
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Subject: RE: HELP ... 'Fat Songs? From: SINSULL Date: 08 Jun 08 - 01:15 PM Too Fat Polka...I don't want her, you can have her, She's too fat for me...Arthur Godfrey. |
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Subject: RE: HELP ... 'Fat Songs? From: meself Date: 08 Jun 08 - 01:23 PM "Built for Comfort" and "Three Hundred Pounds of Joy" by Howlin' Wolf (recorded by him, anyway). A little more positive than Too Fat Polka! |
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Subject: RE: HELP ... 'Fat Songs? From: Bee Date: 08 Jun 08 - 01:30 PM Deckman, check out this link. http://www.dimensionsmagazine.com/dimtext/kjn/lyrics/song.htm |
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Subject: RE: HELP ... 'Fat Songs? From: meself Date: 08 Jun 08 - 01:53 PM By the way - do you REALLY think this whole thing is a good idea ... ? |
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Subject: Lyr Add: SOFT AND ROUND (Grit Laskin) From: Barbara Date: 08 Jun 08 - 01:59 PM SOFT AND ROUND (Grit Laskin) As recorded by Grit Laskin on “A Few Simple Words,” 1996, which you can hear on Spotify.
1. When a tire is flat, we don't like that.
CHORUS: Let my stomach be soft and round,
2. Now, once upon a time when humans were new,
3. There were whalebone corsets to hold the body in.
4. I once ate only carrots and lost six pounds,
5. So I gave up on diets and Nautilus machines. |
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Subject: RE: HELP ... 'Fat Songs? From: mg Date: 08 Jun 08 - 02:17 PM I am the man the very fat Man That Waters the Workers' Beer our boss was a fine man down to the ground he married a woman six feet round [Drill Ye Tarriers Drill] |
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Subject: Lyr Add: CHOLESTEROL (Adam McNaughtan) From: bfdk Date: 08 Jun 08 - 02:29 PM Judy Small's The Advertising Game and Cholesterol (Adam McNaughtan) I've been takin' advice on right things to eat Since shortly before I was born Like the National dried milk and the cod liver oil And powdered rhinoceros horn Well, in those days they told us tae lay aff the starches The sugars, potatoes and breid Now they've done a U-turn, and they tell us these things Will give us the fibre we need Cholesterol, cholesterol My chance of survival is small But I'll no get a dosa anorexia nervosa For I love my cholesterol Well, I'm not going to take the advice that they make About changin' the way I should eat Like cuttin' oot cheese, and no chips if ye please No chocolates, no ice cream, no English beef Well they tell us to give up these goodies below And they offer us pie in the sky Ah, well semi-skimmed milk may diminish my bulk But I'll take double cream till I die Cholesterol, cholesterol My chance of survival is small For the cream I consume it could lead to my doom For I love my cholesterol Well I don't mind them probin' in my haemoglobin If it's just for a case history But it puts the Health Visitor into a tizz It's her duty tae try and save me She says fresh fruit and yogurt's a lovely dessert Why don't you give it a try Well I don't give a hoot for her yogurt and fruit I'll take Black Forest gateau and die Cholesterol, cholesterol My chance of survival is small For the way that I dine, I'm on course for angina But I love my cholesterol Cholesterol, cholesterol My chance of survival is small But I'll no get a dosa anorexia nervosa For I love my cholesterol might fit your requirements ;-) Best wishes, Bente |
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Subject: Lyr Add: THE CHOCOLATE'S NOT FOR YOU From: Liz the Squeak Date: 08 Jun 08 - 02:35 PM My name only appears on '16 stone' because I have been known to sing it on occasion and the words were collected from me. My own contribution is thus, written one Sunday evening and developed over the Internet by JackoNZ.
Oh the chocolate's not for you, my chubby lassie o, X2 |
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Subject: RE: HELP ... 'Fat Songs? From: Bat Goddess Date: 08 Jun 08 - 04:02 PM Cushy McCoy -- based on but different from Cushy Butterfield. "She's a big lass and a bonny lass And she'll make your head spin. Old Cushy's in fine shape For the shape that she's in." I sing it -- got it from the Irish Rovers back in the '70s. Linn |
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Subject: Lyr Add: THE YOUNG WOMAN FROM THE COUNTRY From: Bee Date: 08 Jun 08 - 04:09 PM Here, I've written an instant 'old ballad' for the occasion. ;-D The Young Woman from the Country I was the child of a farmer brave He worked himself to an early grave Said I this farming's not for me And I roved off to the grand citee When I got there, what did I see So many maids, but there's none like me Around their waist you could set a ring That round my throat would make me sing Their hips are sharp as a well honed knife No farmer lad would take these to wife Such eely arms no calf could hold No fruits could carry when they are sold Their legs like twigs of the willow green No muscle there that could be seen How could such walk all the miles to town When need there was, without falling down? Above their thigh, no curve so round No softness there could a lad have found Their breasts so high as to meet their chin No room for even a pretty pin. But I so plump as a partridge brown My legs so round push against my gown Below my waist my hips do swell And all the rest is round as well Those maids did laugh when I wandered out But mirth and scorn did not me rout I stood up proud, and proud was I And here's the reason, I'll tell you why When I walked out to enjoy the park Those city lads my progress mark Though skin and bone their ladies be Their longing eyes do follow me. |
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Subject: RE: HELP ... 'Fat Songs? From: bubblyrat Date: 08 Jun 08 - 04:17 PM Now Sarah's my girlfriend and I loves her so, 'though her's big as a haystack, and forty years old- Farmer Brown says she's enormous, and loud he did scoff, 'cause you has to leave a chalk-mark to show where you left off! From : "Dorset Is Beautiful", as sung by The Yetties. |
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Subject: RE: HELP ... 'Fat Songs? From: meself Date: 08 Jun 08 - 04:34 PM There's a song that Ma Rainey recorded that begins, "Charleston, South Carolina, that's where I born". A couple of verses I vaguely remember: I'm a big, fat mama, got the meat hanging on my bones, I'm a big, fat mama, got the meat hanging on my bones, Every time I shake it, some skinny gal loses her [own?]. Goin' back to Charleston, gonna get my hambone boiled, Goin' back to Charleston, gonna get my hambone boiled, These northern men gonna let my hambone spoil. |
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Subject: RE: HELP ... 'Fat Songs? From: GUEST,cStu Date: 08 Jun 08 - 04:34 PM John Lee Hooker's "Big Legs, Tight Skirt" ('Bout to drive me out of my mind) Louis Jordan's "I Like 'Em Fat Like That" And what's that song that Donkey sings to the Dragon at the Karoake on Shrek 1 "I Like Big Butts" or similar 8~) |
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Subject: RE: HELP ... 'Fat Songs? From: Megan L Date: 08 Jun 08 - 04:40 PM Ah Liz we will miss yer dulcet tones on the Chocolate song at the McMudgather this year |
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Subject: RE: HELP ... 'Fat Songs? From: Artful Codger Date: 08 Jun 08 - 05:29 PM Uncle Bonsai: "Fat Boys": Skinny boys got nothin' to lean against in bed, Bony arms and shoulders only bruise my head... You get the gist. The also have one called "Another Fat Song", but not quite as complimentary. |
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Subject: Lyr Add: HUGGIN' AND CHALKIN' (from Johnny Mercer) From: mrmoe Date: 08 Jun 08 - 05:31 PM by Johnny Mercer I gotta gal that's mighty sweet, With blue eyes and tiny feet. Her name is Rosabelle Magee, And she tips the scale at three o three. Oh! Gee, but ain't it grand to have a girl so big and fat That when you hug 'er you don't know where you're at? You have to take a piece of chalk in your hand And hug a way and chalk a mark to see where you began. One day, when I was a-huggin' and a-chalkin' And a-chalkin' and a-huggin' away, When I met another fella with some chalk in his hand, Comin' around the other way, 'round the mountain, Comin' around the other way. Nobody ever said I'm weak. My bones don't ache and my joints creak. But I grow absolutely limp, Ev'ry time I kiss my baby blimp. Oh! One day I had a yen for someone leaner, She was meaner than a mink in a pen. So I left her now I'm happy as a fella could be, Huggin' and chalkin' in once again, 'round my Rosie, Huggin' and chalkin' in once again. One day I was a-huggin' and a-chalkin' and a-beggin' her to be my bride, When I met another fella with some chalk in his hand Comin' around the other side of the mountain, Comin' around the other side. |
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Subject: RE: HELP ... 'Fat Songs? From: Jim Dixon Date: 08 Jun 08 - 06:11 PM HUGGIN' AND CHALKIN' is indeed a great one. It is also very musically interesting. Lyrics have been posted several times: here, here, and here. Don Edrington's Big Band & Swing Era Popular Music Page has a sound file of a performance by Hoagy Carmichael. Hey, being overweight isn't strictly a women's problem. Aren't there any songs about fat MEN? |
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Subject: RE: HELP ... 'Fat Songs? From: Bee Date: 08 Jun 08 - 06:36 PM I think there are a few in that linked list I posted up-thread, Jim. ;-) |
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Subject: RE: HELP ... 'Fat Songs? From: GUEST,Marion Date: 08 Jun 08 - 06:38 PM Merle Travis recorded "Fat Gal"... "keeps me warm in the winter, shady in the summertime, that's what I like about that fat gal of mine." The rap song cStu mentioned that starts, "I like big butts and I cannot lie..." is titled Baby Got Back. |
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Subject: RE: HELP ... 'Fat Songs? From: Jack Campin Date: 08 Jun 08 - 07:13 PM The only link to this I can see on the web is a Myspace one (fuck that) but the Edinburgh singer Freeloadin' Frank has a wonderful song "Cellulite" (in praise thereof). |
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Subject: RE: HELP ... 'Fat Songs? From: maire-aine Date: 08 Jun 08 - 08:38 PM It took me a while to remember this man's name, but I finally pulled it out of long-term storage. In the early 1970s, VICTOR BUONO released some comedy record albums that poked fun at his extra-large stature, and a book of comic poetry called It Could Be Verse. He would sometimes recite his poetry on guest appearances on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson. The most popular of his poems was "Fat Man's Prayer". It included many widely quoted stanzas such as: We are what we eat, said a wise old man, And Lord, if that's true, I'm a garbage can! At oleomargarine I'll never mutter, For the road to hell is spread with butter. And cake is cursed, and cream is awful, And Satan is hiding in every waffle. Give me this day my daily slice - But cut it thin and toast it twice. |
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Subject: Lyr Add: ROLLER DERBY QUEEN (Jim Croce) From: Abby Sale Date: 08 Jun 08 - 09:05 PM Most Fat songs seem to be 'soft & fat' but not all. No. Roller Derby Queen From the album: *The 50th Anniversary Collection* Songwriter: Croce, Jim Label: Saja Gonna tell you a story that you won't believe But I fell in love last Friday evenin' With a girl I saw on a bar room TV screen Well, I was just gettin' ready to get my hat When she caught my eye and I put it back And I ordered myself couple o' more shots and beers The night that I fell in love with a Roller Derby Queen Around and round, oh, round and round The meanest hunk o' woman that anybody ever seen Down in the arena She was five foot six and two fifteen A bleached-blonde mama with a streak of mean She knew how to knuckle and she knew how to scuffle and fight And the roller derby program said That she was built like a 'fridgerator with a head Her fans call her "Tuffy" but all her buddies called her "Spike" You know that I fell in love with a Roller Derby Queen Around and round, oh, round and round The meanest hunk o' woman that anybody ever seen Down in the arena Round and round, go round and round Round and round, go round and round Round and round Well, I could not help it but to fall in love With this heavy-duty woman I been speakin' of Things looked kind of bad until the day she skated into my life Well, she might be nasty, she might be fat But I never met a person who would tell her that She's my big blonde bomber, my heavy handed Hackensack mama And I fell in love with a Roller Derby Queen Around and round, oh round and round The meanest hunk o' woman that anybody ever seen Down in the arena Round and round, go round and round Round and round, go round and round Round and round Round and round, go round and round Round and round, go round and round Round and round Round and round, go round and round Round and round, go round and round Round and round © TIME IN A BOTTLE© CROCE PUBLISHING Lyrics provided by Gracenote (chords available at http://www.guntheranderson.com/v/data/rollerde.htm - There'll be an mp3 of it somewhere, too.) (We is big roller derby fans. Carolina Rollergirls (Raleigh, NC) is seeded 3rd in the country - out of about 250 leagues. Good stuff. Just ask me.) |
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Subject: RE: HELP ... 'Fat Songs? From: Melissa Date: 08 Jun 08 - 09:15 PM What if your butt was gone--Carla Ulbrich |
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Subject: RE: HELP ... 'Fat Songs? From: GUEST Date: 08 Jun 08 - 09:38 PM "Fat Girls". I am having trouble creating the link. Use Quick Links -> Old Advanced Forum Search to find it. |
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Subject: RE: HELP ... 'Fat Songs? From: Art Thieme Date: 08 Jun 08 - 11:52 PM Just recently I've been thinking of proposing a new show to NPR. It would be called "Speaking Of Fat!" Art |
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Subject: RE: HELP ... 'Fat Songs? From: Artful Codger Date: 09 Jun 08 - 02:00 AM I heard there's dog fat on the tucker box... |
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Subject: RE: HELP ... 'Fat Songs? From: Liz the Squeak Date: 09 Jun 08 - 02:59 AM Then there was that Caribbean song a few years ago 'Big pantie woman'... LTS |
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Subject: Lyr Add: IN THE GATEAU From: Acorn4 Date: 09 Jun 08 - 06:03 AM In the Gateau (And those stairs creak) On a cold and dark November night I creep down to the kitchen and my eyes Catch sight of the gateau. (And those scales don't lie) Though I'm supposed to be losing weight There staring at me on the plate is the gateau. You gotta understand, How I feel those hunger pangs People don't you see I can't live on lettuce and celery Or I'm going to completely fade away. (As my stomach churns), Though I might get broad around the beam, There's death by chocolate and treble cream in the gateau. (This diet's against the rules). Though I know my waistline's gonna pay the price There are 3 million calories in every slice of the gateau. I know my family doctor is the cause of all my trials I can't live on rice cakes that taste like Polystyrene tiles. (And those scales don't lie.) Though I've destroyed the evidence I know I'm gonna feel the consequences of the gateau, (And those scales don't lie) As I put the empty plate back on that shelf, I think even old Elvis himself was partial to the gateau (And those scales don't lie) I don't want to live on watercress And you can't get will power on the NHS, Gimme the gateau. (And those scales don't lie). Elvis is now leaving the building..... written by Dave Taylor to tune of "In the Ghetto". Feel free to use - let me know if you want an MP3 |
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Subject: RE: HELP ... 'Fat Songs? From: lady penelope Date: 09 Jun 08 - 08:51 AM ROTFLMAO!!!! |
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Subject: RE: HELP ... 'Fat Songs? From: melodeonboy Date: 09 Jun 08 - 09:29 AM "You're Much Too Fat and That's That" - Louis Jordan "Big Fats" - Canned Heat "Skin and Bone" - The Kinks |
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Subject: RE: HELP ... 'Fat Songs? From: Deckman Date: 09 Jun 08 - 09:36 AM I have decided to vacate this thread. I want to thank you all for your fine input. I had a long discussion with my friend who requested that I sing some "fat songs." When we started adding up the collective weight of the 7 ladies, we both decided that it certainly made perfect sense for me to avoid this crowd. I wasn't worried so much for own personal safety, but after all, my guitar is quite vaulable! CHEERS, Bob(deckman)Nelson |
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Subject: RE: HELP ... 'Fat Songs? From: beardedbruce Date: 09 Jun 08 - 09:47 AM +Hail To Thee, Fat Person - Alan Sherman I would like to explain how it came to pass that I got fat. Ladies and gentlemen, I got fat as a public service. When I was a child, my mother said to me, "Clean the plate, because children are starving in Europe." And I might point out that that was years before the Marshall Plan was ever heard of. So I would clean the plate, four, five, six times a day. Because somehow I felt that that would keep the children from starving in Europe. But I was wrong. They kept starving. And I got fat. So I would like to say to every one of you who is either skinny or in some other way normal-- When you walk out on the street, and you see a fat person, Do not scoff at that fat person. Oh no! Take off your hat. Hold it over your heart. Lift your chin up high. And in a proud, happy voice say to him, "Hail to thee, fat person! You kept us out of war!" |
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Subject: RE: HELP ... 'Fat Songs? From: Richard Bridge Date: 09 Jun 08 - 12:22 PM THere was a reggae hit a few years back Hey fatty Bum-bum Hey Sugar Dumplng (etc) And wsn't there another Ma Rainey about shaking her Jelly ROll? And surely there is a fat verse in Beautiful Delilah Oh, and Big LEg Ida in Cocaine Blues |
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Subject: Lyr Add: WE’RE THE MOST + FAT MAN’S PRAYER (Buono) From: reggie miles Date: 09 Jun 08 - 03:01 PM Though they might be worked into musical presentations, these are not songs but recitations. Enjoy! Reg WE’RE THE MOST As recorded by Victor Buono on “Heavy,” 1971, which you can hear on Spotify. I have grown so weak and weary Of the silly modern theory That in order to be known as chic, One must not look well fed. According to the magazines, If one cannot wear tapered jeans, One might as well wear saddlebags And tennis shoes and oily rags, Or simply buy a comfy shroud, ’Cause socially you’re dead. Now just because some lazy gland Has gotten somewhat out of hand And caused me to expand Into the shape in which you find me, I see no cause to hide my face. I've got my share of manly grace. It just got wadded in one place, And some got stuck behind me. To me, it's inconceivable That one could find believable The thought that one must have a shape Exactly like his chum. I simply won't apologize For being of a grander size. When everyone's a seedless grape, It's great to be a plum. If the girls refuse to dig me Just because I'm not a pygmy, Then I try to make 'em see my view That beauty comes in barrels too, And precious gemstones grow in clumps, And treasures can be found in dumps, And silver hides in heaps. To heck with all your fashion trends! I'd rather be myself, my friends. I love to be a limousine when all the rest are Jeeps. FAT MAN’S PRAYER As recorded by Victor Buono on “Heavy,” 1971, which you can hear on Spotify. Lord, my soul is ripped with riot, Incited by my wicked diet. “We are what we eat,” said a wise old man. Lord, if that’s true, I’m a garbage can. I want to rise on Judgment Day; that’s plain, But at my present weight, I’ll need a crane, So grant me strength that I may not fall Into the clutches of cholesterol. May my flesh with carrot curls be sated, That my soul may be polyunsaturated, And show me the light, that I may bear witness To the President’s Council on Physical Fitness. At oleomargarine, I’ll never mutter, For the road to hell is spread with butter, And cream is cursed, and cake is awful, And Satan is hiding in every waffle. Mephistopheles lurks in provolone. The devil is in each slice of baloney. Beelzebub is a chocolate drop, And Lucifer is a lollipop. Give me this day my daily slice, But cut it thin and toast it twice. I beg upon my dimpled knees: Deliver me from jujubes, And when my days of trial are done, And my war with malted milks is won, Let me stand with the saints in heaven In a shining robe, size thirty-seven. I can do it, Lord, if you’ll show to me The virtues of lettuce and celery, If you’ll teach me the evil of mayonnaise, The sinfulness of hollandaise, And pasta à la milanaise, Potatoes à la lyonnaise, And crisp fried chicken from the south. Lord, if you love me, shut my mouth! |
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Subject: RE: HELP ... 'Fat Songs? From: reggie miles Date: 09 Jun 08 - 03:24 PM My friend Robert OneMan Johnson wrote this one. I used to sing it more often than I presently do. I'm Gettin' Thick In The Middle, Gettin' Thin On Top Time goes by and people change Their features start to rearrange The question is, when does this stop? I'm gettin' thick in the middle, gettin' thin on top Every mornin' in the mirror The direct effect of the food and beer I exercise until I drop Still I'm gettin' thick in the middle, gettin' thin on top I'm thin on top I'm thick in the middle I used to have a lot But now there's not much more than a little I used to have a little round my middle But now there quite a lot I'm gettin' thick in the middle, gettin' thin on top Father time he isn't fair He erased my waist now he's takin' my hair I'll keep movin' till I drop Though I'm gettin' thick in the middle, gettin' thin on top I'm thin on top I'm thick in the middle I used to have a lot But now there's not much more than a little I used to have a little round my middle But now there quite a lot I'm gettin' thick in the middle gettin' thin on top |
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Subject: RE: HELP ... 'Fat Songs? From: PoppaGator Date: 09 Jun 08 - 03:35 PM Too bad Deckman isn't going to do this gig. It would've been a barrel of laughs! "Big fat woman, roll your big leg over me!" |
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Subject: RE: HELP ... 'Fat Songs? From: Deckman Date: 09 Jun 08 - 04:31 PM Hmm, the phrase "survival of the fittest" comes to my mind. My best hope would be that I could run faster than they! bob |
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Subject: RE: HELP ... 'Fat Songs? From: maire-aine Date: 09 Jun 08 - 04:41 PM Thank you, Reg, for digging up those 2 poems. I remember hearing the stirring recitation that he used to do. Maryanne |
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Subject: RE: HELP ... 'Fat Songs? From: Liz the Squeak Date: 09 Jun 08 - 04:54 PM I'm getting sick of all my friends telling me they're losing weight... I keep finding it! LTS |
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Subject: RE: HELP ... 'Fat Songs? From: GUEST,TJ in San Diego Date: 09 Jun 08 - 06:44 PM Here is a little ditty I dashed off to celebrate an old friend, a saloon singer of ample proportions who always said she wasn't fat; just a little too short for her weight: She's a round mound of rollicking sound, A spherical wonder to see! Folks pay through the nose, To hear her disclose, The menu she gobbles with glee. She rolls to the table and uprights herself, Like a great vessel bobbing at sea. She wolfs down a turkey, two hams and a beer, And, afterward, hits a high C! She sings like a bird – a wond'rous big bird, Who never could perch in a tree! Consuming her own weight in groceries each day, A platoon could take shade in her lee. But, I once heard her sing a most plaintive refrain, A lament for the once-slender she, Who was left far behind, as her appetite gained, Till, at last, she just begged to be free. She gave up her smoking, she gave up her gin, She gave up Long Island Ice Tea. She was ready to give up the ghost, so she said, Confessing herself once to me. "I would, but I'm chicken," she finally admitted, "And besides, dead, I wouldn't be me!" So, with renewed gusto, she follows her star, Gas-tro-nom-i-cal-ly. You might see her one night at the Cannonball Grill, Or the Hog Heaven Diner, you see. She sings for her supper, her breakfast and lunch, And she swallows it all with great glee! She's a fabulous thing to hear and behold, Though she's caused many a top chef to flee, Knowing that coming to dine at his chez, She could wipe out his whole eat-er-y. -------------------------------------------------- Her most famous quote, but on it – don't linger, is: "Oh, do come on – just pull my finger!" |
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Subject: RE: HELP ... 'Fat Songs? From: Acorn4 Date: 09 Jun 08 - 08:11 PM 1.Down at the leisure centre, It's just an ordinary day, Twenty rather large ladies Waddle onto the floor As the music begin to play, Leotards stretched to their elastic limit Where they've rather over indulged. They make more wind than the Welsh Assembly As they fight the battle of the bulge chorus: Singing... We are the roly poly army Fighting the great lost cause We're gonna knock the world off its axis As we bounce up and down on the floor We keep telling oursleves it's not our fault That we got in the state we're in 'Cos after all we're just victims "Cos we hardly eat a thing!" 2.Once we were graceful and sylphlike, But thats a distant memory, And overnight we became built for comfort Like the jellyfish in the sea, Now our bums fill up three bus seats Watch us fill a supermarket aisle As our will power sort of flew out of the window and waved goodbye with a smile. Singing... We are the roly poly army Fighting the great lost cause We're gonna knock the world off its axis As we bounce up and down on the floor WE keep telling oursleves it's not our fault That we got in the state we're in 'Cos after all we're just victims "Cos we hardly eat a thing!" 3.Does someone pump us up in the morning Or does nature abhor empty space, In a nation that suffer from the over inflation We're a dead heat in a zeppelin race Last week we all put on two pounds Any more and the scales will be bustin' Those scales are definitely wrong It's as braoad as it's long They definitely need adjusting.. Singing... We are the roly poly army Fighting the great lost cause We're gonna knock the world off its axis As we bounce up and down on the floor We keep telling oursleves it's not our fault That we got in the state we're in 'Cos after all we're just victims "Cos we hardly eat a thing!" |
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