Songs about being fat, overweight, heavy, obese

Subject: RE: Songs about being fat, overweight, heavy, obese
From: MaJoC the Filk
Date: 05 Dec 24 - 04:34 PM

Do you mean this?

https://www.mudcat.org/thread.cfm?threadid=27357#335246 (The Reprobate's Lament)

.... I often need to hand-fix the URL the blue-clicky maker produces.

Subject: RE: Songs about being fat, overweight, heavy, obese
From: GUEST,Susanne (skw)
Date: 04 Dec 24 - 09:14 AM

Try again:
www.mudcat.org/thread.cfm?threadid=27357#335246 (The Reprobate's Lament)

The blue clicky maker doesn't seem to work any more. I tried several times, and always the finished link when used included "mudcat.org/" twice. The above should work when cut and pasted, but being a bit out of practice I also put the faulty link into the original thread so it's now in the list ... Sorry!

Subject: RE: Songs about being fat, overweight, heavy, obese
From: GUEST,Susanne (skw)
Date: 04 Dec 24 - 09:03 AM

I looked in vain for this gem here:
The Reprobate's Lament (Bill Hill)

Subject: Lyr Add: I LIKE 'EM FAT LIKE THAT (Louis Jordan)
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 03 Dec 24 - 09:42 PM

GUEST,cStu mentioned this on 08 Jun 08:


I LIKE ’EM FAT LIKE THAT
Written by Louis Jordan, Claude Demetrius & J. Mayo Williams
As recorded by Louis Jordan and His Tympany Five in 1944; released as Decca 23810 in 1947, which you can hear at the Internet Archive.

Let the cats all criticize,
Joke about my baby’s size.
She’s reet with me
Because, you see,
I like ‘em fat like that.

When she bounces down the street,
She’s a whole heap o’ honey an’ ain’t she sweet?
Feels so fine
To know she’s mine.
I like ‘em fat like that.

You can have all those lean chicks,
Tender and tall,
But when it comes to mean chicks,
A big fat mama is the best of all.

After I get through workin’,
I reach an’ grab my hat,
Hurry home;
Don’t want her to be alone.
I like ‘em fat like that.

Subject: RE: Songs about being fat, overweight, heavy, obese
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 03 Dec 24 - 04:24 PM

Cushy Butterfield

I'm a broken-hearted keel-man, what's ower heed in love
With a young lass from Gateshead and I call her my dove
Her name's Cushie Butterfield and she sells yellow clay
And her cousin's a muck-man and they call him Tom Grey
She's a big lass and a bonnie lass
And she likes her beer
And they call her Cushie Butterfield
And I wish she was here
Her eyes is like two holes in a blanket burnt through
And her broos of a morning would spyen a young coo
And when I hear her shootin', will ye buy any clay?
Like a candyman's trumpet, it steals my young heart away
She's a big lass and a bonnie lass
And she likes her beer
And they call her Cushie Butterfield
And I wish she was here
You'll oft see her doon at Sandgate when the fresh herring comes in
She's like a bag full of sawdust, tied roon' with a string
She wears big galoshes tae, and her stocking's once was white
And her bedgoon it's lilac and her hat's never straight
She's a big lass and a bonnie lass
And she likes her beer
And they call her Cushie Butterfield
And I wish she was here
When I asked her to marry us, she started to laugh
No, none of your monkey tricks for I like nae such chaff
Then she started a-bubbling and roared like a bull
And the chaps on the Quay says I's nowt but a fool
She's a big lass and a bonnie lass
And she likes her beer
And they call her Cushie Butterfield
And I wish she was here
She says, the man that gets us he had te work every day
And when he comes hyem at neet he'll have te gan and seek clay
And when he's away seekin' it I'll make balls and sing
Oh weel may the keel row that my laddie's in
She's a big lass and a bonnie lass
And she likes her beer
And they call her Cushie Butterfield
And I wish, I wish, I wish
I wish she was here

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sTmvjjoGgYw&ab_channel=SeanCoxen

Subject: Lyr Add: CUSHY McCOY
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 03 Dec 24 - 01:23 PM

Bat Goddess mentioned this on 08 Jun 08:


CUSHY McCOY
As recorded by The Irish Balladeers on “The Molly Maguires,” 1968, which you can hear at YouTube.

1. My name is Tim Clancy and I work down the mine,
And up till the other night, I got along fine.
I went to an alehouse myself to enjoy,
And there I met Cushy, big Cushy McCoy.

CHORUS: She’s a big lass and a bonny lass and she’ll make your head spin,
For Cushy’s in grand shape for the shape that she’s in.

2. Well, I asked her to dance and she started with joy,
Took hold of my arm and swung me round like a toy,
First up to the ceilin’ then down to the floor,
And the next thing I knew, I was flyin’ out the door. CHORUS

3. Well, I shot to my feet and started running with joy,
But fast on my heels was big Cushy McCoy.
For sixty-three miles, we ran through the night
And I never stopped running till she was out of sight. CHORUS

4. Now, I told you my story and sung it as well,
And if there’s a moral, it’s clear as a bell:
If you dance with big Cushy, there are two things you’ll need:
Well, a right leg and a left leg that can run with great speed. CHORUS TWICE.

- - -
Also recorded by:
The Birmingham Six on “The Kessel Run,” 2010 – see YouTube.

Subject: RE: Songs about being fat, overweight, heavy, obese
From: Thompson
Date: 02 Dec 24 - 12:52 PM

Abolitionist song:
His coat's so big he couldn't pay the tailor and it don't go halfway round.

Subject: Lyr Add: THREE HUNDRED POUNDS OF JOY (Howlin’ Wolf
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 02 Dec 24 - 12:32 PM

This was mentioned by “meself” on 08 Jun 08:


THREE HUNDRED POUNDS OF JOY
Written by Willie Dixon
As recorded by Howlin’ Wolf on “The Real Folk Blues,” 1966, which you can hear on Spotify.

Well, all of you girls [who] think your days are done,
You don't have to worry; you can have your fun.
Take me, baby, for your little boy.
You're gettin' three hundred pounds of heavenly joy.
This is it.
This is it.
Look what you get.

You've been bendin' 'n’ hidin' from behind his back,
And you got your man that you don't like.
Throw that cat, baby, out o’ your mind.
Follow me, baby, 'n’ have a real good time.
This is it.
This is it.
Look what you get.

Hoy, hoy, I'm the boy.
I got three hundred pounds of heavenly joy.
I'm so glad that you understand.
I'm three hundred pounds of muscle an’ man.
This is it.
This is it.
Look what you get.

Subject: RE: Songs about being fat, overweight, heavy, obese
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 02 Dec 24 - 04:24 AM

Mr. Five by Five

Song by Ella Mae Morse and Freddie Slack



Well, twirl my turban, man alive!
Here comes Mister Five by Five
He's one of those big fat bouncing boys
Solid avoirdupois!

Mister Five by Five
He's five feet tall and he's five feet wide
He don't measure no more from head to toe

Than he do from side to side
Mister Five by Five
Got fifty chins and a line of jive
He's a mellow old cat, a real hep fat
He be Mister Five by Five

That man
Can really jump it for a fat man
The only trouble is there's no way of knowin'
Whether he's comin' or, or goin'

Mister Five by Five
He's slightly plump on his butter side
He don't shake it no more from head to toe
Than he do from side to side

That man [my, my!]
Can really jump it for a fat man [fat man!]
Boys, the trouble is there's no way of knowin'
Whether he's comin' or, or goin'

Mister Five by Five
He's five feet tall and he's five feet wide
He don't measure no more from head to toe
Than he do
From side to side
Mister Five by Five

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3icDW_qONpg&ab_channel=JimmyRushing-Topic

Subject: Lyr Add: BUILT FOR COMFORT (Howlin' Wolf)
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 01 Dec 24 - 09:13 PM

This was mentioned by “meself” on 08 Jun 08, and it might be the same song that Marion referred to earler that day:


BUILT FOR COMFORT
As recorded by Howlin’ Wolf on “The Real Folk Blues,” 1966, which you can hear on Spotify.

Some folk built like this; some folk built like that,
But what the way I'm built, don't you call me fat,
Because I'm built for comfort; I ain't built for speed.
But I got everything, oh, that a good girl need.

Some folk drift and run; some folk b’lieve in signs [or “breathe and sigh”*]
But if you want me, baby, you got to take your time,
Because I'm built for comfort; I ain't built for speed.
But I got everything, oh, that a good girl need.

I ain't got no diamonds; I ain't got no gold,
But I do have love to satisfy your soul,
Because I'm built for comfort; I ain't built for speed,
But I got everything, oh, you good women need.

- - -
* As sung by Marva Wright.
Also recorded by Taj Mahal, Willie Dixon, and others.

Subject: Lyr Add: TOO MUCH BUTT (Saffire…Uppity Blues Women
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 30 Nov 24 - 11:43 PM

Melissa mentioned this back on 08 Jun 08:


TOO MUCH BUTT
As recorded by Saffire—The Uppity Blues Women on “Havin’ the Last Word,” 2009, which you can hear at Spotify.

1. Sergio Valenti and Calvin Klein,
They aren't ready for these hips of mine.
They may be designers but they haven't designed
Jeans to fit your valentine.
They make women's clothes for the long and the lean.
I got too much butt for one pair of jeans.

2. Well, if a gown's too big, it don't fit the holster.
I don't buy jeans; I get reupholstered.
An acre of denim, custom cut,
Sewn with care to fit this butt.
Well, if my zipper could talk, you'd know it would scream:
“Too much butt for one pair of jeans!”

CHORUS: Too much butt. What?
Too much butt. Ah, no, baby.
Too much butt. Tell me, how could that be?
Too much butt. It's a mystery to me.
I may have a lot, but I'll tell you what:
There's no such thing as too much butt.

(Ain't no butts about it, baby.)

3. Well, you know on a plane, it's a little bit tight.
My butt's wedged in for the whole damn flight,
And if you're next to me, you'd better be nice
’Cause this butt can be a flotation device.
If we go down, ah, you know what I mean:
Too much butt for one pair of jeans. CHORUS

4. When I bend over, I may block the sun.
I may be two but I'm your only one.
On a scale of one to ten, you know I'm your twenty.
How could you want more? This girl's got plenty.
I know what you like and you like what you see:
Too much butt for one pair of jeans. CHORUS

Well, if my zipper could talk, you'd know it would scream:
“Too much butt for one pair of jeans!”
Yeah, if my zipper could talk, you'd know it would scream:
“Too much butt for—too much butt for—too much butt for one pair of jeans.”

Subject: Lyr Add: GROW, MRS. GOLDFARB (Allan Sherman)
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 30 Nov 24 - 11:11 PM

Melissa mentioned this back on 08 Jun 08:


GROW, MRS. GOLDFARB
(Words by Allan Sherman, music “The Glow-Worm” famously recorded by The Mills Brothers.)
As recorded by Allan Sherman on “For Swingin’ Livers Only!” 1964, which you can hear on YouTube.

Grow, Mrs. Goldfarb, fatter, fatter.
Pile the potatoes on your platter.
Listen to me, 'cause I'm your hubby:
I just adore you plump and chubby.
I got a letter from the state, dear.
You're gonna need a license plate, dear.
My little elephant joke come true—
Chew, Mrs. Goldfarb, chew!

There is so much more of you,
More to adore of you,
'Cause you're not slender.
In your white dress, you're a doll,
Big as the Taj Mahal
In all its splendor.
When you're in department stores,
Don't use revolving doors.
You might get stuck, dear,
When you use the telephone.
Go in the booth alone,
And lots of luck, dear.

You had for breakfast: two pounds bacon.
Three dozen eggs, one coffee cake, and
Then you had something really awful:
Four kippered herrings on a waffle,
Nine English muffins, one baked apple,
Boston cream pie, Philadelphia scrapple,
Seventeen bowls of Crispy Crunch,
Then you said, "What's for lunch?"

Sweetheart, you are giant size.
You are Lane Bryant size,
My darling Myrtle.
Last Thanksgiving, I was thrilled.
You ate so much, you killed
Your living girdle.
Have another dozen shrimp,
My lovely little blimp.
Don't count a cal’rie.
I have just received a stub.
I owe the Diner's Club
A whole year's sal’ry.

Eat, Mrs. Goldfarb, daily, nightly.
Eat, though your chair is bending slightly.
Love of my life, I'm glad I found you.
Each day I take a walk around you.
I can't forget when we got married.
Over the threshold I got carried.
No other bride would be so sweet.
Eat, Mrs. Goldfarb, eat!

- - -
Information from Wikipedia: Originally a German song, "Das Glühwürmchen," from the 1902 operetta “Lysistrata,” was composed by Paul Lincke with lyrics by Heinz Bolten-Backers. An English translation by Lilla Cayley Robinson was used in the 1907 Broadway musical “The Girl Behind the Counter.” You can read these lyrics in the Wikipedia article. These versions have both verses and choruses.

Johnny Mercer wrote additional lyrics for the tune, but he used only the tune of the chorus. His version was recorded by The Mills Brothers in 1952 and became very popular. Allan Sherman’s parody uses the tune of both the verse and the chorus.

Subject: RE: Songs about being fat, overweight, heavy, obese
From: GUEST,PHJim
Date: 29 Nov 24 - 08:58 AM

BIG LEGGED WOMAN - Jerry Lee Lewis

One I sorta recall from the sixties, I think was called "KEEP YOUR HANDS OFF HER".

She's a [G7] heavy hipped woman, got those [C] great big legs,
She's a [G7] heavy hipped woman, got those [C] great big legs,
She's a [F] heavy hipped woman, got those [Cdim] great big legs,
[C] Walks like she's [B] walkin' [Bb] on [A] soft-boiled [A7] eggs
Keep your [G7]hands off her, she don't belong to [C] you.

I forget who sang it; maybe Lead Belly?

Subject: RE: Songs about being fat, overweight, heavy, obese
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 27 Nov 24 - 11:30 AM

Beverley Sisters It's Illegal, It's Immoral Or It Makes You Fat

Subject: RE: Songs about being fat, overweight, heavy, obese
From: Black belt caterpillar wrestler
Date: 27 Nov 24 - 11:16 AM

If you want more support for eating well look up the thread on Lumley Kettlewell.

Robin

Subject: Lyr Add: I DON’T WANT TO GET THIN (Sophie Tucker)
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 27 Nov 24 - 10:47 AM

I DON’T WANT TO GET THIN
Words by Jack Yellen; music by Milton Ager; ©1929.
From the film “Honky Tonk,” 1929.

I. From the sheet music at Baylor University:

1. Almost every day I hear some kind friend say:
“Sophie, dear, I think you’re much too stout.”
Right off, they suggest The diet they think best.
They make me sick; I wish they’d cut it out!

CHORUS 1: I don’t want to get thin! I don’t want to get thin!
Why should I, when I’m alright as I am?
I’ve got a lot of what I’ve got, but my friends love it.
They’re no vegetarians; They like meat and plenty of it.
I don’t want to reduce; Furthermore, what’s the use?
They follow me around like Mary’s lamb!
The girls who talk of dieting get on my nerves.
If you want to keep your husband straight, show him a lot of curves.
That’s why I won’t get thin; You can laugh; you can grin,
But I’m doing very well the way I am.

2. You take Missus Stump; now, she was nice and plump—
Not too thin and not too fat, just right.
Then the silly goose Decided to reduce.
Well, now her husband phones me every night.

CHORUS 2: I don’t want to lose weight! The boys tell me I’m great.
My sweetheart loves me just the way I am.
I have no fear that he’ll go chasing other mamas.
He may find one who will fill my shoes, not my pajamas.
I don’t care what I weigh; I eat pie every day.
I hate pineapples; I don’t care for lamb.
I tell you very frankly, I weigh one-sixty-three,
But many a Sonny Boy has tried to climb upon my knee.
So why should I get thin? Bring that pastry tray in!
’Cause I’m doing very well the way I am.

II. From the recording by Sophie Tucker, with Ted Shapiro’s Orchestra^[1], on His Master's Voice B 3132, 1929, at the Internet Archive. I have marked differences with boldface.

1. Almost every day I hear some kind friend say:
“Sophie, dear, I think you’re much too stout.”
Right away, they suggest The diet they think best.
They make me sick; I wish they’d cut it out!

CHORUS 1: I don’t want to get thin! I don’t want to get thin!
Why should I, when I’m alright as I am?
those slender-waisted mamas, they make me laugh
My goodness! Men like to see a little fore and aft
I don’t want to reduce; Furthermore, what’s the use?
When the men follow me around like Mary’s lamb!
The girls who talk of dieting, gee, they get on my nerves.
If you want to keep your husband straight, show him a lot of curves.
I don’t want to get thin; You can laugh and you can grin,
But I’m doing very well the way I am.

[In the following spoken interlude, Miss Tucker has a dialog with a Ted Shapiro, who also played piano; I have indicated his lines with TS.]

[TS] Miss Tucker. I think you could do with a pound less or two.
[ST] Look what’s talking! If he’d close one eye, he’d look like an eagle.
Mind your own business, Teddy; I’m satisfied to be the way I am.
I’ve got a lot of what I’ve got, and my friends love it.
Mind you, they’re no vegetarians; they like their meat and plenty of it.
[TS] Well. I think you could spare a pound here or there.
[ST] Nobody’s asking you, young man; keep your mind on your music.
[TS] I can’t when you’re around.
[ST] Look where I am not.
[TS] I can’t see that far.
[ST] All right, I’ll buy you some field glasses.
I’m fat, and I know it, and I intend to stay fat.
[TS] Miss Tucker, you shouldn’t say fat; in the best places, they say one is stout.
[ST] Ha-ha! In the best places, I’m fat!
As I was saying, folks, I’ll eat anything.
[TS] Anything?
[ST] Anything!
[TS] You won’t eat ham.^[2]
[ST] Well, we’ll leave politics and religion out of it.

I’ve noticed one thing, girls; you can store this in your dome:
All the married men who run after me have skinny wives at home.
[TS] You’ll have to be much thinner to attract a young sheik.
[ST] Don’t worry; I’m doing all right with the Spaniards and the Greeks.

CHORUS 2: I don’t want to lose weight! The boys tell me I’m great.
My sweetheart loves me just the way I am.
I have no fear that he’ll go chasing round with other mamas.
He may find one who will fill my shoes but not my pajamas.
I don’t care what I weigh; I eat pie every day.
I hate pineapples and I don’t care for lamb.
I’ll tell you very frankly, I weigh one-sixty-three,
But many a Sonny Boy has tried to climb upon my knee.
I don’t want to get thin; You can laugh and you can grin,
But I’m doing very well the way I am.

- - -
[1] The record label credits “Ted Shapiro’s Orchestra” but the only instrument I can hear is a piano, played by Shapiro himself, I presume.

[2] It was well known that Sophie Tucker was Jewish. One of her big hits was “My Yiddishe Momme,” which Shapiro also played on.

Subject: RE: Songs about being fat, overweight, heavy, obese
From: Brock
Date: 25 Nov 24 - 03:59 PM

Eating Food is Wrong by Instant Sunshine


I was once a chubby man, merry sleek and stout
I made fried foods by the pan, free from shame and doubt
I cooked hearty breakfasts served with two eggs lightly done
Bath buns with my morning drink
Beer for lunch and chunks of steak, scones for tea and rich cream cake,
Eating food was fun!

Macaroons, marmalade, muffins that mother made
Marzipan, marshmallows, egg mayonnaise
Mouth-watering courses of meat with rich sauces
And crystallised tangerine, fondues and Florentine
Help me remember those halcyon days!

All my friends were podgy lads, jolly tubby types
I was not upset by fads, stomach-aches or gripes
Pies placed on the pantry shelf would not remain there long
I ate soufflés, steaks and stews, fritters, roasts and barbeques
Then I heard the stunning news: EATING FOOD IS WRONG
Sugar and alcohol, fats and cholesterol, buns, butter and beer make you ill
Sweeteners and cyclamates cause several sickly states
Yoghurts and cheeses cause painful diseases And puddings, potatoes and pastry can KILL!

I was once a dumpy man, now I’m lean and drawn
Health foods, greens and stacks of bran help me to reform
Now I toy with lettuce leaves, and sometimes chew a prune
Now my diets sparse and lean based on rice and soya bean
But I hope that now I’m lean I’ll feel healthy soon

I once mixed with fleshy men, happy, chubby chaps
But I’ll never smile again, now I’m fed on scraps
Po-faced pinched and pale I peck the food health-freaks allow
Though I’ll live to ninety-five I would rather not survive
Eating bran to stay alive I’d rather end it now
I’ll eat a deadly cream-filled cake and end the whole thing now
Eat up your pancake rolls, plum duff, profiteroles
Poppadoms, pizzas and pastas and pies
Don’t try to stifle your craving for trifle or give lame excuses for not eating mousses
EAT DRINK AND BE MERRY for tomorrow we die!

Subject: RE: Songs about being fat, overweight, heavy, obese
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 25 Nov 24 - 03:45 PM

Not folk or particularly old, from Queen: Fat Bottomed Girls.

And mentioned in passing above in the thread, Merle Travis' Fat Gal.

Subject: RE: Songs about being fat, overweight, heavy, obese
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 25 Nov 24 - 03:03 PM

That was the Theme song of Tessie O'Shea.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=djiC-_ucPbA&ab_channel=slaphead6000

Subject: Lyr Add: POPPING CORN (Loumey)
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 25 Nov 24 - 11:58 AM

From the sheet music at Johns Hopkins University; also at the Library of Congress.


POPPING CORN
Words and music by Aug. Loumey, ©1874.

1. And there they sat a-popping corn, John Stiles and Susan Cutter,
John Stiles as fat as any ox, And Susan, fat as butter.
And there they sat, and shell’d the corn, And raked and stirr’d the fire,
And talk’d of diff’rent kinds of ears, And hitch’d their chairs up nigher.

CHORUS: And there they sat a-popping corn, John Stiles and Susan Cutter,
John Stiles as fat as any ox, And Susan, fat as butter.

2. Then Susan she the popper shook, Then John he shook the popper,
Till both their faces grew as red As saucepans made of copper.
And then they shell’d, and popp’d, and ate, All kinds of fun a-poking,
And he haw-haw’d at her remarks, And she laugh’d at his joking. CHORUS

3. And still they popp’d and still they ate; John’s mouth was like a hopper,
And stirr’d the fire and sprinkled salt, And shook and shook the popper.
The clock struck nine and then struck ten, And still the corn kept popping.
It struck eleven then struck twelve, And still no signs of stopping. CHORUS

4. And John he ate, and Susan thought The corn did pop and patter;
Till John cried out: “The corn’s afire! Why, Susan, what’s the matter?”
Said she: “John Stiles, it’s one o’clock; You’ll die of indigestion.
I’m sick of all this popping corn. Why don’t you pop the question?”

LAST CHORUS: Said she: “John Stiles, it’s one o’clock; You’ll die of indigestion.
I’m sick of all this popping corn. Why don’t you pop the question?”

Subject: Lyr Add: TWO TON TESSIE (Turk/Handman)
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 25 Nov 24 - 10:32 AM

From the sheet music at York University. There is a recording by the Ames Brothers that you can hear at Spotify. There are several recordings on YouTube.


TWO TON TESSIE
Words and music by Roy Turk & Lou Handman, ©1926.

1. Down in Nashville, Tennessee, there’s a sight you oughta see,
But as long as you can’t get down there, I’ll tell you all, so listen to me:
There’s a gal named Tessie Townes, weighs about four hundred pounds,
Fat and fair, but she don’t care, ‘cause the boys all hang around.

CHORUS 1: They call her Two-Ton Tessie from Tennessee,
Holds ten sweeties upon her knee.
When she does, all the fun begins.
They play tennis on her double chins.
Caused the rise in the price of meat.
Been ten years since she saw her feet.
Lovers haven’t any cinch, I’m sure.
To get around her waist, they mustn’t detour—
Two-Ton Tessie from Nashville, Tennessee.

2. Ev’ry time she struts around, she puts on an extra pound,
But it doesn’t seem to worry her; her weight is making Tessie renowned—
Isn’t trying to reduce, and she’s got a good excuse:
Though she scales more than two whales, with the boys she beats the deuce.

CHORUS 2: They call her Two-Ton Tessie from Tennessee.
Broadside view like a ship at sea.
Takes two lovers to hold her hands.
Taller sittin’ down than when she stands.
Boys all answer to her demands.
The bring tires for wedding bands.
I just got a little inside tip:
They’re gonna start a night club on her hip—
Two-Ton Tessie from Nashville, Tennessee.

CHORUS 3: They call her Two-Ton Tessie from Tennessee,
Presses trousers without a fee.
She’s not “hep” to the Charleston yet,
But you oughta hear her sing quartet.
On a trolley I heard ‘em say
Six men gave her a seat one day.
Runners all have given up their gym.
They run around her once and keep in trim—
Two-Ton Tessie from Nashville, Tennessee.

CHORUS 4: They call her Two-Ton Tessie from Tennessee.
Goes in swimmin’ up to her knee.
Once she went in up to her neck;
Tide rose up and made the town a wreck.
She was hit on a railroad track.
Engine struck her and bounced right back.
Her appendix had to come out fast.
They couldn’t operate, they had to blast—
Two-Ton Tessie from Nashville, Tennessee.

Subject: RE: Songs about being fat, overweight, heavy, obese
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 25 Nov 24 - 07:56 AM

Roll up roll up, come and see the fat girl
40 stone of loveliness and every bit her own
Ee she were a big un, wi accent on the big
And all the fellers wi walkin' stick were givin' her a dig.
She were a great big lassie as didn't known her chassis
Were blown up wi air I do declare
Everthing were champion until some silly clown,
stabbed her wi a pin, said the showman wi' a frown
All 'ands to the pump me lads me vessel's going down
At the Rawtenstall annual fair.

Subject: RE: Songs about being fat, overweight, heavy, obese
From: GUEST
Date: 25 Nov 24 - 05:51 AM

One I like is this.

I Don't Look Good Naked Anymore

I've sung it a couple of times down the folk club, although I anglicised it to reference pork pies and added a (sadly autobiographical) verse about how I used to be a competent rugby league hooker (yes, I know).

Subject: RE: Songs about being fat, overweight, heavy, obese
From: GerryM
Date: 24 Nov 24 - 04:22 PM

A couple from Allan Sherman:

To the tune of Molly Malone:
She wheels her wheelbarrow
Through streets that are narrow,
Her barrow is narrow, her hips are too wide.
So wherever she wheels it,
The neighborhood feels it,
Her girdle keeps scraping the homes on each side.

In Dublin's fair city,
Where girls are so pretty,
My Molly stands out 'cause she weighs 18 stone.
(That's 256 pounds.)
I don't mind her fat--but,
It's not only that--but,
She's cockeyed and muscle-bound, Molly Malone.

[Fact check: 18 stone is actually 252 pounds]

To the tune of Polly Wolly Doodle:
Oh I diet all day and I diet all night,
It's enough to drive me bats.
Got no gravy or potatoes,
'Cause the whole refrigerator's
Fulla polyunsaturated fats.

Fare thee well, Metrecal,
And the others of that ilk.
Let the diet start tomorrow,
'Cause today I'll drown my sorrow
In a double malted milk.

Subject: RE: Songs about being fat, overweight, heavy, obese
From: MaJoC the Filk
Date: 24 Nov 24 - 01:20 PM

.... Hm: does Wheezy Anna count?

Subject: RE: Songs about being fat, overweight, heavy, obese
From: GUEST
Date: 24 Nov 24 - 01:16 PM

Randy Newman's 'Can't fool the fat man'?

Subject: RE: HELP ... 'Fat Songs?
From: GUEST,Dave MacKenzie
Date: 09 Jun 08 - 08:35 PM

Big Mama Thornton had at least one celebrating her size, and back in the 1960s, I remember hearing a song in Edinburgh with the chorus "I won't miss you, babe I couldn't, you're too fat"

Subject: RE: HELP ... 'Fat Songs?
From: Acorn4
Date: 09 Jun 08 - 08:11 PM

1.Down at the leisure centre,
It's just an ordinary day,
Twenty rather large ladies
Waddle onto the floor
As the music begin to play,
Leotards stretched to their elastic limit
Where they've rather over indulged.
They make more wind than the Welsh Assembly
As they fight the battle of the bulge

chorus:

Singing...

We are the roly poly army
Fighting the great lost cause
We're gonna knock the world off its axis
As we bounce up and down on the floor
We keep telling oursleves it's not our fault
That we got in the state we're in
'Cos after all we're just victims
"Cos we hardly eat a thing!"

2.Once we were graceful and sylphlike,
But thats a distant memory,
And overnight we became built for comfort
Like the jellyfish in the sea,
Now our bums fill up three bus seats
Watch us fill a supermarket aisle
As our will power sort of flew out of the window and waved goodbye with a smile.

Singing...

We are the roly poly army
Fighting the great lost cause
We're gonna knock the world off its axis
As we bounce up and down on the floor
WE keep telling oursleves it's not our fault
That we got in the state we're in
'Cos after all we're just victims
"Cos we hardly eat a thing!"

3.Does someone pump us up in the morning
Or does nature abhor empty space,
In a nation that suffer from the over inflation
We're a dead heat in a zeppelin race
Last week we all put on two pounds
Any more and the scales will be bustin'
Those scales are definitely wrong
It's as braoad as it's long
They definitely need adjusting..

Singing...

We are the roly poly army
Fighting the great lost cause
We're gonna knock the world off its axis
As we bounce up and down on the floor
We keep telling oursleves it's not our fault
That we got in the state we're in
'Cos after all we're just victims
"Cos we hardly eat a thing!"

Subject: RE: HELP ... 'Fat Songs?
From: GUEST,TJ in San Diego
Date: 09 Jun 08 - 06:44 PM

Here is a little ditty I dashed off to celebrate an old friend, a saloon singer of ample proportions who always said she wasn't fat; just a little too short for her weight:

She's a round mound of rollicking sound,
A spherical wonder to see!
Folks pay through the nose,
To hear her disclose,
The menu she gobbles with glee.

She rolls to the table and uprights herself,
Like a great vessel bobbing at sea.
She wolfs down a turkey, two hams and a beer,
And, afterward, hits a high C!

She sings like a bird – a wond'rous big bird,
Who never could perch in a tree!
Consuming her own weight in groceries each day,
A platoon could take shade in her lee.

But, I once heard her sing a most plaintive refrain,
A lament for the once-slender she,
Who was left far behind, as her appetite gained,
Till, at last, she just begged to be free.

She gave up her smoking, she gave up her gin,
She gave up Long Island Ice Tea.
She was ready to give up the ghost, so she said,
Confessing herself once to me.

"I would, but I'm chicken," she finally admitted,
"And besides, dead, I wouldn't be me!"
So, with renewed gusto, she follows her star,
Gas-tro-nom-i-cal-ly.

You might see her one night at the Cannonball Grill,
Or the Hog Heaven Diner, you see.
She sings for her supper, her breakfast and lunch,
And she swallows it all with great glee!

She's a fabulous thing to hear and behold,
Though she's caused many a top chef to flee,
Knowing that coming to dine at his chez,
She could wipe out his whole eat-er-y.

--------------------------------------------------

Her most famous quote, but on it – don't linger, is:
"Oh, do come on – just pull my finger!"

Subject: RE: HELP ... 'Fat Songs?
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 09 Jun 08 - 04:54 PM

I'm getting sick of all my friends telling me they're losing weight... I keep finding it!

LTS

Subject: RE: HELP ... 'Fat Songs?
From: maire-aine
Date: 09 Jun 08 - 04:41 PM

Thank you, Reg, for digging up those 2 poems. I remember hearing the stirring recitation that he used to do.

Maryanne

Subject: RE: HELP ... 'Fat Songs?
From: Deckman
Date: 09 Jun 08 - 04:31 PM

Hmm, the phrase "survival of the fittest" comes to my mind. My best hope would be that I could run faster than they! bob

Subject: RE: HELP ... 'Fat Songs?
From: PoppaGator
Date: 09 Jun 08 - 03:35 PM

Too bad Deckman isn't going to do this gig. It would've been a barrel of laughs!

"Big fat woman, roll your big leg over me!"

Subject: RE: HELP ... 'Fat Songs?
From: reggie miles
Date: 09 Jun 08 - 03:24 PM

My friend Robert OneMan Johnson wrote this one. I used to sing it more often than I presently do.

I'm Gettin' Thick In The Middle, Gettin' Thin On Top

Time goes by and people change
Their features start to rearrange
The question is, when does this stop?
I'm gettin' thick in the middle, gettin' thin on top

Every mornin' in the mirror
The direct effect of the food and beer
I exercise until I drop
Still I'm gettin' thick in the middle, gettin' thin on top

I'm thin on top
I'm thick in the middle
I used to have a lot
But now there's not much more than a little
I used to have a little round my middle
But now there quite a lot
I'm gettin' thick in the middle, gettin' thin on top

Father time he isn't fair
He erased my waist now he's takin' my hair
I'll keep movin' till I drop
Though I'm gettin' thick in the middle, gettin' thin on top

I'm thin on top
I'm thick in the middle
I used to have a lot
But now there's not much more than a little
I used to have a little round my middle
But now there quite a lot
I'm gettin' thick in the middle gettin' thin on top

Subject: Lyr Add: WE’RE THE MOST + FAT MAN’S PRAYER (Buono)
From: reggie miles
Date: 09 Jun 08 - 03:01 PM

Though they might be worked into musical presentations, these are not songs but recitations.

Enjoy! Reg


WE’RE THE MOST
As recorded by Victor Buono on “Heavy,” 1971, which you can hear on Spotify.

I have grown so weak and weary
Of the silly modern theory
That in order to be known as chic,
    One must not look well fed.
According to the magazines,
If one cannot wear tapered jeans,
One might as well wear saddlebags
And tennis shoes and oily rags,
Or simply buy a comfy shroud,
    ’Cause socially you’re dead.

Now just because some lazy gland
Has gotten somewhat out of hand
And caused me to expand
    Into the shape in which you find me,
I see no cause to hide my face.
I've got my share of manly grace.
It just got wadded in one place,
    And some got stuck behind me.

To me, it's inconceivable
That one could find believable
    The thought that one must have a shape
    Exactly like his chum.
I simply won't apologize
For being of a grander size.
    When everyone's a seedless grape,
    It's great to be a plum.

If the girls refuse to dig me
Just because I'm not a pygmy,
Then I try to make 'em see my view
That beauty comes in barrels too,
And precious gemstones grow in clumps,
And treasures can be found in dumps,
    And silver hides in heaps.
To heck with all your fashion trends!
I'd rather be myself, my friends.
    I love to be a limousine when all the rest are Jeeps.


FAT MAN’S PRAYER
As recorded by Victor Buono on “Heavy,” 1971, which you can hear on Spotify.

Lord, my soul is ripped with riot,
Incited by my wicked diet.
“We are what we eat,” said a wise old man.
Lord, if that’s true, I’m a garbage can.
I want to rise on Judgment Day; that’s plain,
But at my present weight, I’ll need a crane,
So grant me strength that I may not fall
Into the clutches of cholesterol.
May my flesh with carrot curls be sated,
That my soul may be polyunsaturated,
And show me the light, that I may bear witness
To the President’s Council on Physical Fitness.
At oleomargarine, I’ll never mutter,
For the road to hell is spread with butter,
And cream is cursed, and cake is awful,
And Satan is hiding in every waffle.
Mephistopheles lurks in provolone.
The devil is in each slice of baloney.
Beelzebub is a chocolate drop,
And Lucifer is a lollipop.
Give me this day my daily slice,
But cut it thin and toast it twice.
I beg upon my dimpled knees:
Deliver me from jujubes,
And when my days of trial are done,
And my war with malted milks is won,
Let me stand with the saints in heaven
In a shining robe, size thirty-seven.
I can do it, Lord, if you’ll show to me
The virtues of lettuce and celery,
If you’ll teach me the evil of mayonnaise,
The sinfulness of hollandaise,
And pasta à la milanaise,
Potatoes à la lyonnaise,
And crisp fried chicken from the south.
Lord, if you love me, shut my mouth!

Subject: RE: HELP ... 'Fat Songs?
From: Richard Bridge
Date: 09 Jun 08 - 12:22 PM

THere was a reggae hit a few years back

Hey fatty Bum-bum
Hey Sugar Dumplng (etc)

And wsn't there another Ma Rainey about shaking her Jelly ROll?

And surely there is a fat verse in Beautiful Delilah

Oh, and Big LEg Ida in Cocaine Blues

Subject: RE: HELP ... 'Fat Songs?
From: beardedbruce
Date: 09 Jun 08 - 09:47 AM

+Hail To Thee, Fat Person - Alan Sherman

I would like to explain how it came to pass that I got fat.
Ladies and gentlemen, I got fat as a public service.
When I was a child, my mother said to me,
"Clean the plate, because children are starving in Europe."
And I might point out that that was years before the Marshall Plan
was ever heard of.
So I would clean the plate, four, five, six times a day.
Because somehow I felt that that would keep the children from starving
in Europe.
But I was wrong. They kept starving. And I got fat.
So I would like to say to every one of you who is either skinny
or in some other way normal--

When you walk out on the street, and you see a fat person,
Do not scoff at that fat person. Oh no!
Take off your hat. Hold it over your heart.
Lift your chin up high. And in a proud, happy voice say to him,
"Hail to thee, fat person!
You kept us out of war!"

Subject: RE: HELP ... 'Fat Songs?
From: Deckman
Date: 09 Jun 08 - 09:36 AM

I have decided to vacate this thread. I want to thank you all for your fine input. I had a long discussion with my friend who requested that I sing some "fat songs." When we started adding up the collective weight of the 7 ladies, we both decided that it certainly made perfect sense for me to avoid this crowd. I wasn't worried so much for own personal safety, but after all, my guitar is quite vaulable! CHEERS, Bob(deckman)Nelson

Subject: RE: HELP ... 'Fat Songs?
From: melodeonboy
Date: 09 Jun 08 - 09:29 AM

"You're Much Too Fat and That's That" - Louis Jordan

"Big Fats" - Canned Heat

"Skin and Bone" - The Kinks

Subject: RE: HELP ... 'Fat Songs?
From: lady penelope
Date: 09 Jun 08 - 08:51 AM

ROTFLMAO!!!!

Subject: Lyr Add: IN THE GATEAU
From: Acorn4
Date: 09 Jun 08 - 06:03 AM

In the Gateau

(And those stairs creak)
On a cold and dark November night
I creep down to the kitchen and my eyes
Catch sight of the gateau.
(And those scales don't lie)

Though I'm supposed to be losing weight
There staring at me on the plate is the gateau.

You gotta understand,
How I feel those hunger pangs
People don't you see
I can't live on lettuce and celery
Or I'm going to completely fade away.

(As my stomach churns),
Though I might get broad around the beam,
There's death by chocolate and treble cream in the gateau.
(This diet's against the rules).
Though I know my waistline's gonna pay the price
There are 3 million calories in every slice of the gateau.

I know my family doctor is the cause of all my trials
I can't live on rice cakes that taste like
Polystyrene tiles.
(And those scales don't lie.)

Though I've destroyed the evidence
I know I'm gonna feel the consequences of the gateau,
(And those scales don't lie)
As I put the empty plate back on that shelf,
I think even old Elvis himself was partial to the gateau
(And those scales don't lie)

I don't want to live on watercress
And you can't get will power on the NHS,
Gimme the gateau.
(And those scales don't lie).

Elvis is now leaving the building.....

written by Dave Taylor to tune of "In the Ghetto".

Feel free to use - let me know if you want an MP3

Subject: RE: HELP ... 'Fat Songs?
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 09 Jun 08 - 02:59 AM

Then there was that Caribbean song a few years ago 'Big pantie woman'...

LTS

Subject: RE: HELP ... 'Fat Songs?
From: Artful Codger
Date: 09 Jun 08 - 02:00 AM

I heard there's dog fat on the tucker box...

Subject: RE: HELP ... 'Fat Songs?
From: Art Thieme
Date: 08 Jun 08 - 11:52 PM

Just recently I've been thinking of proposing a new show to NPR.

It would be called "Speaking Of Fat!"




Art

Subject: RE: HELP ... 'Fat Songs?
From: GUEST
Date: 08 Jun 08 - 09:38 PM

"Fat Girls".

I am having trouble creating the link. Use Quick Links -> Old Advanced Forum Search to find it.

Subject: RE: HELP ... 'Fat Songs?
From: Melissa
Date: 08 Jun 08 - 09:15 PM

What if your butt was gone--Carla Ulbrich

Subject: Lyr Add: ROLLER DERBY QUEEN (Jim Croce)
From: Abby Sale
Date: 08 Jun 08 - 09:05 PM

Most Fat songs seem to be 'soft & fat' but not all. No.

Roller Derby Queen
From the album: *The 50th Anniversary Collection*
Songwriter: Croce, Jim
Label: Saja

Gonna tell you a story that you won't believe
But I fell in love last Friday evenin'
With a girl I saw on a bar room TV screen

Well, I was just gettin' ready to get my hat
When she caught my eye and I put it back
And I ordered myself couple o' more shots and beers

The night that I fell in love with a Roller Derby Queen
Around and round, oh, round and round
The meanest hunk o' woman that anybody ever seen
Down in the arena

She was five foot six and two fifteen
A bleached-blonde mama with a streak of mean
She knew how to knuckle and she knew how to scuffle and fight

And the roller derby program said
That she was built like a 'fridgerator with a head
Her fans call her "Tuffy" but all her buddies called her "Spike"

You know that I fell in love with a Roller Derby Queen
Around and round, oh, round and round
The meanest hunk o' woman that anybody ever seen
Down in the arena

Round and round, go round and round
Round and round, go round and round
Round and round

Well, I could not help it but to fall in love
With this heavy-duty woman I been speakin' of
Things looked kind of bad until the day she skated into my life

Well, she might be nasty, she might be fat
But I never met a person who would tell her that
She's my big blonde bomber, my heavy handed Hackensack mama

And I fell in love with a Roller Derby Queen
Around and round, oh round and round
The meanest hunk o' woman that anybody ever seen
Down in the arena

Round and round, go round and round
Round and round, go round and round
Round and round

Round and round, go round and round
Round and round, go round and round
Round and round

Round and round, go round and round
Round and round, go round and round
Round and round

© TIME IN A BOTTLE© CROCE PUBLISHING

Lyrics provided by Gracenote

(chords available at http://www.guntheranderson.com/v/data/rollerde.htm - There'll be an mp3 of it somewhere, too.)

(We is big roller derby fans. Carolina Rollergirls (Raleigh, NC) is seeded 3rd in the country - out of about 250 leagues. Good stuff. Just ask me.)

Subject: RE: HELP ... 'Fat Songs?
From: maire-aine
Date: 08 Jun 08 - 08:38 PM

It took me a while to remember this man's name, but I finally pulled it out of long-term storage.

In the early 1970s, VICTOR BUONO released some comedy record albums that poked fun at his extra-large stature, and a book of comic poetry called It Could Be Verse. He would sometimes recite his poetry on guest appearances on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson. The most popular of his poems was "Fat Man's Prayer". It included many widely quoted stanzas such as:

We are what we eat, said a wise old man, And Lord, if that's true, I'm a garbage can!

At oleomargarine I'll never mutter, For the road to hell is spread with butter.

And cake is cursed, and cream is awful, And Satan is hiding in every waffle.

Give me this day my daily slice - But cut it thin and toast it twice.

Subject: RE: HELP ... 'Fat Songs?
From: Jack Campin
Date: 08 Jun 08 - 07:13 PM

The only link to this I can see on the web is a Myspace one (fuck that) but the Edinburgh singer Freeloadin' Frank has a wonderful song "Cellulite" (in praise thereof).

Subject: RE: HELP ... 'Fat Songs?
From: GUEST,Marion
Date: 08 Jun 08 - 06:38 PM

Merle Travis recorded "Fat Gal"... "keeps me warm in the winter, shady in the summertime, that's what I like about that fat gal of mine."

The rap song cStu mentioned that starts, "I like big butts and I cannot lie..." is titled Baby Got Back.