BS: Smear a Llama Here

Subject: BS: Smear a Llama Here
From: skipy
Date: 09 Jun 08 - 06:54 PM

Just for those among you that have problems with Llamas, you can talk about it here.
Skipy

Subject: RE: BS: Smear a Llama Here
From: jacqui.c
Date: 09 Jun 08 - 06:59 PM

I've got a problem with a llama. Somehow this hussy has got it into her head that she and Kendall are soulmates and I'm not having any of that!

She sent scale models of herself and even a tee shirt with her photo on it. Well, Seamus put paid to one of the models and I think that the tee shirt is being used to clean out the oven on the rare occasions that gets done.

Hoity toity little madam! She threatened to spit in my eye if I don't leave and let her move in. I told her that she won't be able to see to spit - I have a crochet hook and I know how to use it!

Subject: RE: BS: Smear a Llama Here
From: open mike
Date: 09 Jun 08 - 07:04 PM

i have problems with them when they spit at me...
especially if they have their mouth full of bits of hay
at the time...http://www.jaunted.com/files/3873/LlamaTeeth.jpg

http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/llama

http://www.frolic.org/

Subject: RE: BS: Smear a Llama Here
From: bankley
Date: 09 Jun 08 - 07:22 PM

thinly sliced on rye bread and mustard, and you have a Deli Llama

Subject: RE: BS: Smear a Llama Here
From: Amos
Date: 09 Jun 08 - 07:28 PM

Go and tell yo' mama
To call of her llama
Take him back to Chile
Way down south.

I don't think it's fittin'
For llamas to be spittin'
'Specially with hayseeds
in their mouth!

I don't need that beast here,
I don't need a priest here,
Call yo'mama, quick
As you can!

Take that furry camelid
Back to where his daddy did
ANd leave me here alone
With my man!!


(Fade out with a ragtime strum on a tenor banjo)

Subject: RE: BS: Smear a Llama Here
From: Ed T
Date: 09 Jun 08 - 07:50 PM

A wise llama never counts his teeth
Pakistani proverb

Subject: RE: BS: Smear a Llama Here
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 09 Jun 08 - 07:51 PM

The one-l lama,
He's a priest.
The two-l llama,
He's a beast.
And I will bet
A silk pajama
There isn't any
Three-l lllama.

        -- Ogden Nash

Subject: RE: BS: Smear a Llama Here
From: Peace
Date: 09 Jun 08 - 08:14 PM

"Smear a Llama Here"

OK.

Subject: RE: BS: Smear a Llama Here
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Jun 08 - 08:20 PM

I smeared a llama once and it spit right into my left shoe. Stupid llama.

Subject: RE: BS: Smear a Llama Here
From: Peace
Date: 09 Jun 08 - 08:22 PM

Reminds me of something I heard way back.

"Camels have been domesticated for 5000 years and they still don't like people. Ya suppose they know something?"

Subject: RE: BS: Smear a Llama Here
From: Ed T
Date: 09 Jun 08 - 08:25 PM

http://ceeburt.blogspot.com/2007/07/llama-fest.html


http://www.mwminillamas.com/MW%20Llamas%20Misc%20Photos%20Around%20the%20Farm.htm

Subject: RE: BS: Smear a Llama Here
From: Peace
Date: 09 Jun 08 - 08:35 PM

From one of the sites Ed linked to.

What a beautiful face it has. Lovely azure/taupe colouring to it.

Subject: RE: BS: Smear a Llama Here
From: artbrooks
Date: 09 Jun 08 - 08:41 PM

If you hit a llama with a semi-truck, you really smear it!!

Subject: RE: BS: Smear a Llama Here
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 09 Jun 08 - 09:00 PM

I really have a problem with the critter's name. It's supposed to be pronounced "yama", right? So why doesn't it just call itself a "yama"? I mean what's with the "l"s? Ditch 'em and buy a friggin' "y"! Do they get some sadistic pleasure from hearing people mispronounce their name?

Sure, I know that "ll" is pronounced like "y" in Spanish, but ya know what? The only llama I know on a first-name basis lives in Indiana and her name is "Myrtle". No damned body in Spain, llama or otherwise, is named "Myrtle"! It's an American name and she's an American llama. If she and her fellow American llamas wanna be "yamas", then they need to learn to spell like Americans!

Subject: RE: BS: Smear a Llama Here
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Jun 08 - 09:24 PM

Como se llama, Senor?

Subject: RE: BS: Smear a Llama Here
From: Riginslinger
Date: 09 Jun 08 - 09:28 PM

A Dolly Llama? Can we clone him?

Subject: RE: BS: Smear a Llama Here
From: Bobert
Date: 09 Jun 08 - 09:40 PM

I did *not* have sex with...

...oh, nevermind...

Subject: RE: BS: Smear a Llama Here
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Jun 08 - 09:59 PM

It depends upon what you mean by "llama", Bobert.

Subject: RE: BS: Smear a Llama Here
From: Peace
Date: 09 Jun 08 - 10:11 PM

It depends on what he means by sex, Rapaire.

Subject: RE: BS: Smear a Llama Here
From: Amos
Date: 09 Jun 08 - 10:38 PM

A three-el lllama is a giant conflagration.

A

Subject: RE: BS: Smear a Llama Here
From: Riginslinger
Date: 09 Jun 08 - 11:03 PM

And a four el is a lllamal!

Subject: RE: BS: Smear a Llama Here
From: artbrooks
Date: 09 Jun 08 - 11:04 PM

With or without Night Visitors?

Subject: RE: BS: Smear a Llama Here
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Jun 08 - 11:06 PM

I get any night visitors and I'm likely to shoot 'em.

Subject: RE: BS: Smear a Llama Here
From: Peace
Date: 09 Jun 08 - 11:07 PM

The joys of a .357 !

Subject: RE: BS: Smear a Llama Here
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Jun 08 - 11:25 PM

Yep. An' a thuty-thuty an' a 12 gauge an' a .38 an' a .45 an' a 20 gauge an' a thuty-ought-six an' a 7.65mm an' a coupla swords an' a bow an' arrows an' a nightstick an' a buncha .22s. An' that ain't countin' the muzzleloaders or my wife's shootin' ahrns.

Subject: RE: BS: Smear a Llama Here
From: Peace
Date: 09 Jun 08 - 11:26 PM

Take the SOB by hand and you won't wake yer missus with the loud noise.

Subject: RE: BS: Smear a Llama Here
From: Micca
Date: 10 Jun 08 - 04:26 AM

Bee-dubya, if you think you have trouble with saying the word, think of the Welsh!!! They pronounce double ll as a sort of throat clearing noise!!so it would sorta sound like clama!!!with a lota phlegm on the c!

Subject: RE: BS: Smear a Llama Here
From: *Laura*
Date: 10 Jun 08 - 06:26 AM

Ralph the Wonder Llama!! and 3600 Vietnamese Battery Llamas In drugs, sex and spider plant scandal!

Subject: RE: BS: Smear a Llama Here
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 10 Jun 08 - 06:28 AM

Ram a llama, ding dong.

Subject: RE: BS: Smear a Llama Here
From: gnu
Date: 10 Jun 08 - 07:16 AM

They do look like sheep, Giok.

Subject: RE: BS: Smear a Llama Here
From: kendall
Date: 10 Jun 08 - 08:04 AM

Jacqui, must you air the family's dirty linen in public?
Actually, when I married Jacqui I gave up LLamas, They are too high and...well too high. :-)

Subject: RE: BS: Smear a Llama Here
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 10 Jun 08 - 08:09 AM

Dial a Llama for Kendall.

G

"10 am: Tea & coffee on arrival with a chance to get to know your Llama*" ?

Subject: RE: BS: Smear a Llama Here
From: bankley
Date: 10 Jun 08 - 08:12 AM

new mascot... the Obama llama.... spitting for the Dems.

Subject: RE: BS: Smear a Llama Here
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 10 Jun 08 - 08:12 AM

The more I look at that site, the harder it is to find a single entendre!

"10:45: Head off."


G

Subject: RE: BS: Smear a Llama Here
From: GUEST,LTS pretending to work
Date: 10 Jun 08 - 08:20 AM

I can't access those sites at work.... wonder what that indicates....

There was a team of trained llama that did the credits for one of the Monty Python films... I think that's where Ralph the Wonder Llama got his first big break.

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Smear a Llama Here
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Jun 08 - 09:24 AM

I've never really trusted a llama. Not since that party back when I was in college anyway.

It's a long and sordid story from the days when I pursued the pleasures of the flesh, the juice of the barley, and the blood of the grape instead of the pleasures of knowledge and the delights of the mind. Since all Mudcatters are celibate ascetics and have eschewed the baser pleasures I shan't tell it here lest passions become inflamed.

But take it from me, never trust a llama with your girlfriend.

Subject: RE: BS: Smear a Llama Here
From: Peace
Date: 10 Jun 08 - 10:09 AM

THESE are the coming thing in "Wanna see what I got?" circles.

Subject: RE: BS: Smear a Llama Here
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 10 Jun 08 - 11:12 AM

I don't want my flies trapped !
Got enough painful pictures in my mind from the 'Do you shave your sack' thread.


G

Subject: RE: BS: Smear a Llama Here
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 10 Jun 08 - 11:37 AM

Oh, never trust a llama with your girlfriend
No, never trust a llama with your girl
His equipment is much longer
Than your scrawny little donger
It'll make her scream and then make her toes curl

Yes, never trust a llama with your sweetie
No, never trust a llama with Sweet Nell
For his tongue it works much sweeter
Than your puny little peter
And it's guaranteed won't make her belly swell

Subject: RE: BS: Smear a Llama Here
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Jun 08 - 12:38 PM

Gee, Bee-Dubya, that's swell.

Subject: RE: BS: Smear a Llama Here
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 10 Jun 08 - 12:40 PM

Sometimes I wonder about our American cousins... really I do!

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Smear a Llama Here
From: Paul Burke
Date: 10 Jun 08 - 12:45 PM

Is the Daily Llama all he's cracked up to be though? I mean, all that reintarnation and mantra rays and all that. You can't trust a bloke that's had a previous life- he might know something about your grandmother. And what about the Dolly Llama, or the Dial-a-Llama?

Subject: RE: BS: Smear a Llama Here
From: Micca
Date: 10 Jun 08 - 12:51 PM

Giok, I think thats Charles I's schedule you published and not the llama's

Subject: RE: BS: Smear a Llama Here
From: Les from Hull
Date: 10 Jun 08 - 01:01 PM

Who put the ram in the rama llama ding dong?

An Argentine gaucho named Bruno
Once said, 'There is something I do know:
A woman is fine         
And a sheep is divine,         
But a llama is Numero Uno!

Subject: RE: BS: Smear a Llama Here
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 10 Jun 08 - 01:14 PM

So have i got this right?
A Rama is the mana. A sheepa is the womana and a llama is the babya........

Subject: RE: BS: Smear a Llama Here
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 10 Jun 08 - 01:22 PM

Liz, that's why you UK types call us "cousins" instead of "brothers and sisters". Sometimes you need all the distance you can claim.

Subject: RE: BS: Smear a Llama Here
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 10 Jun 08 - 01:43 PM

Would you have preferred 'subjects' BWL ?

Subject: RE: BS: Smear a Llama Here
From: Def Shepard
Date: 10 Jun 08 - 02:16 PM

for our American cousins requiring sustenance they might want to stop off at The Deli Llama

Subject: RE: BS: Smear a Llama Here
From: gnu
Date: 10 Jun 08 - 02:35 PM

Kendall.... too high? Here ya go.

Subject: RE: BS: Smear a Llama Here
From: Ed T
Date: 10 Jun 08 - 08:07 PM

Good advice for those seriously considering acquiring a llama at the site below:

Only buy llamas for the use you intend

Hire, or find a llama person who knows llamas and have them locate the animal you desire

Llamas are a lot of fun, It may be free, but you will still have to feed it and care for it. Why own a pet you can't do anything with?

http://www.nas.com/~jnkllamas/llamainfo.htm

Subject: RE: BS: Smear a Llama Here
From: open mike
Date: 11 Jun 08 - 01:33 AM

Weaverville, Calif. coffee shop--
http://www.mammallama.com/

Subject: RE: BS: Smear a Llama Here
From: the lemonade lady
Date: 11 Jun 08 - 09:06 AM

did anyone already do this?

sal

Subject: RE: BS: Smear a Llama Here
From: Def Shepard
Date: 11 Jun 08 - 06:06 PM

The ieal running mate in a federal election is, of course a llama with Obama ;-)

Subject: RE: BS: Smear a Llama Here
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 12 Jun 08 - 07:55 AM

In Peru many years ago, just outside the capital, there was a huge Llama dearlership where people came from all over to buy, sell and trade Llamas. Well, the years passed and, as with everywhere, Peru became more industrualised. The Llama trade was not what it was and the dealership had to close. The town council wondered what to do with this huge wasted area and as, in the 1950's, all things from the USA were in vogue it was convereted to a shopping mall and food court.

One of the food vendors was an exceptionaly good Chinese restuarant whos speciality was stir fried lamb with bamboo shoots. It became so popular that all the young people ate there and, due to this, the whole mall became the scene for the up and coming rock and roll singers. Eventualy people from all over the world began to arrive. The mall itself paled into insignificance and it's name was lost to the records. Many famous people visited and to make sure that they were always refering to the right mall one particular artist came up with a name so accurate that everyone knew what he was talking about.

Well, I believe the mall and food court have long since gone now but the name lingers on in song to this day. It is...

the Lima Llama rama with the lamb bamboo

I need to lie down now...

:D

Subject: RE: BS: Smear a Llama Here
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Jun 08 - 09:26 AM

Back in the old days they also used to ring a bell when a female llama was inseminated. The bell was, of course, called "The Ram A Llama Ding Dong."

Subject: RE: BS: Smear a Llama Here
From: GUEST
Date: 13 Jun 08 - 08:08 AM

Not knowing how to put in a link to another thread, I'll copy this post from the dwyle-flunking discussion:

'Llamas and alpacas are becoming increasingly common in East Sussex; sooner or later someone will write 'Searching for Llamas'.

There is already that telling phrase in 'The Farmer's Toast':

'And the lark is aye mourning a llama,'

Valmai (Lewes)

Subject: RE: BS: Smear a Llama Here
From: Paul Burke
Date: 13 Jun 08 - 08:46 AM

Slam in a llama, Sam! All animals!

The mall itself paled into insignificance and it's name was lost to the records.

O stone me, not so, Dave. It was called Llama Mall.

Subject: RE: BS: Smear a Llama Here
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 13 Jun 08 - 09:04 AM

Me and my mate Mike got very drunk on Holts Regal Lager one night. Someone told us it was palindromic, which we took to mean it was very good or very strong or some such:-)

Live llama did a mall evil?


Moving off palindromes and onto agramans, we have Stanley Accrington on at our club tonight. Staying on a beer theme the anagram of Draught Guinness is Hard guts ensuing.

Subject: RE: BS: Smear a Llama Here
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 14 Jun 08 - 01:51 AM

Sorry - shouldn't have been tonight - meant to say on Monday (16th). But I guess everyone in the world knows that Swinton club runs on a Monday?

:D

Subject: RE: BS: Smear a Llama Here
From: Valmai Goodyear
Date: 14 Jun 08 - 07:42 AM

I hope everyone also knows how good Stan is. I've never quite recovered from his performance at my fiftieth birthday bash.

Your Lima Llama joke was the sort of cruel and unnatural punishment prohibited by the Geneva Convention and may well find its way into next year's Lewes Arms pantomime.

Valmai (Lewes)

Subject: RE: BS: Smear a Llama Here
From: GUEST,DP sans bisuit
Date: 14 Jun 08 - 10:49 AM

Stanley Accrington - Can't act, yel nor sing!

:D

Subject: RE: BS: Smear a Llama Here
From: GUEST,DP again
Date: 14 Jun 08 - 10:51 AM

BTW - Stan dips in here occasionaly, Valmai, Doesn't post but you may be written into a mudcat song next time he is there, so watch what you say:-)

Subject: RE: BS: Smear a Llama Here
From: Def Shepard
Date: 14 Jun 08 - 11:35 AM

Llamas, morris dancing, tomatoes,confession boxes and sex- Discuss.

Subject: RE: BS: Smear a Llama Here
From: Donuel
Date: 14 Jun 08 - 01:20 PM

What better place to post classified information than smearing llamas...

In the world of surrveiliance a few conundrum remain such as disposable cell phones paid for in cash. Monitoring these purchases world wide is still a hole where privacy still thrives - for now.

If you own a North Star system in your automobile or a Cable TV box at home you are wide open to an invasion of privacy greater than that of warrentless wire tapping.

The North Star system has given permission to one way listening of what ever is going on in the car. In the hands of divorce lawyers or competators this is good stuff to have.

With Comcast cable boxes they have the capability to listen AND watch. The other two providers are suspect but evidence is sketchy.
With the same noise redution technology in headphones or building sir systems the sound of the TV is virtually eliminated and a clear acoustic signal can be sent back to the provider. A pin hole video camera within the IR receptor is good within 20 feet.

All that can be done with all this data is to store it just in case.
The human frailities fears and foibles make the "just in case" argument a teflon slope. We human beings are a bit like ants. We are not all that intelligent on an individual basis but collectively we can do incredible things. Even the person in charge of terrorism investigation and intelligence gathering is not that smart. They even admit to not knowing the differeince between SUnni and Shia and this distinction is uninportant.
But collectively a group of people with limitless data can do serious harm to people with broad brushes and vengeful fearful imaginations.

If you are reading this now you can be assured that your data has been stolen, sold and resold many times over. The new insurance companies that have sproung up to protect you from the people who have stolen your data are in some cases the very people who helped steal it.

In co operation with a program called DARLA, a process we will call the Mega Cookie can cross reference everything about you by you merely viewing an internet page.

What is really scary about this is that assumptions are amed every step of the way when looking at you. The assumptions are never good ones when looking for evil doers and always assume that it is you doing the viewing. Cross ferencing by computer will take unrelated hot words and assemble them as a list which would make you appear guilty of heinous things by your word choices over 10 years.

The solitary stupid ant can become your nemisis as easily as the entire intelligence of the colony. The reason will invariably be inrelated to the initial job of national security.
The harm may be as unknown to you as the entire surrveiance process.
If it hpaaens to you note that it will come in the form of D's

Delay, denial or death.



>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Any rellation between this story by Don Hackman and real people or events is purely coincidental