BS: 'Small' Strokes

Subject: BS: 'Small' Strokes
From: wysiwyg
Date: 26 Jun 08 - 10:51 AM

Like the "small" housefire we had in 2000, when it comes to some things there's no such thing as "small." But I am grateful that the ones I had were, um... so clearly delineated. :~)

For the last 2 years I've been bothered by some changes in mental function and mood that I could not account for by "mere" aging, and as time went on these were bothering me more and more. I could feel and see differences.... it was increasingly lonely that no one else really could... and there were several scary possibilities I decided I'd better check out. So I went to see the good "new" doc to get a CAT scan (or whatever) ordered.

I'm grateful to know it wasn't early Alzheimer's, or a brain tumor, or the delayed noticing of damage from 6 or 7 good hard concussions I'd had in my 20's, or a new wrinkle on brain chemistry. I was sorry to learn though that it wasn't just the "cottonheaded" thinking of perimenopause, but then I knew that since the peri had ended and the cotton head remained. And no, it wasn't mental skills atrophying from under-use.

It WAS the result of the logical and definite decision I'd made to get off the BP meds that were, literally, killing me, even if I stroked out. I'm on all-new meds now that do me no harm at all (except financially), and it was quite the reward to find these meds AND the new doc some of you have heard more about. But it was 3 (maybe 4) strokes in three different places, each of which accounts for a piece of the new mind I've been operating. (LOVE learning about brain anatomy!)

And you know what, it was totally WORTH it to have them, to get the life I have now. I'm being remade, again, and that has ALWAYS been a good thing.


I can spot at least three of the strokes in time with things that seemed odd which I described at the time (most of it to friends here). These occurred during a year, a time of inhuman pressure Hardi and I endured, plus an injury that stopped my pool workouts for a time, plus the implementation of the new meds with the new doc. For awhile I was in a high-risk situation and, amazingly, I have very few serious longterm consequences.

I'm learning a lot more about the "stroke thinking" that my dear late friend John Whitney had in his last year (the year I spent so much time "helping" him).

I'm sorting out what effects I've had so I can rehab them smartly.

For instance my handwriting and some other fine-motor skills that depend on left-right orientaiton are goofy but can be made to work right with strict mental attention to them. But my typing is magically less typo'd with the transposed letters I've had as a habit for years. I miss letters, but they are in the right order, usually. Innit funny?

I use the wrong word often, but my lifelong desire for accuracy in communication means that I hear them and correct them most of the time (self-absorbed as ever).

I lack a few memories (half the plot of some movies for example), but what I care about is in there and findable if I relax and let myself come to it a bit more slowly and/or sideways.

If I start the day "right" (for me) I mostly adjust, cope, and accommodate well all day long, but if I start off running into the frustrations head on, the brain chem all day is not my friend. I'm learning what "right" means for me-- it's all different for now-- and how to abort a bad day when I fall into it.

You'll see some posts exemplifying all of this and sometimes, as always, I'll probably seem to be trying out for "Chief A**hole." Oh well! Live and learn, as always. I find it helpful that this is not a choice-- we ALL live and learn whether we do it intentionally and efficiently, or not. [shrug}

(I'm having a good day today. I hope you are, too.)

~Susan

Subject: RE: BS: 'Small' Strokes
From: Bryn Pugh
Date: 26 Jun 08 - 11:13 AM

Hugs, WYSIWYG - hope things continue to go well for you.

I am not normally a devotee of alternative medicine. I have been on BP med since 1977. There is , I believe a preparation derived from buckwheat which is said to be of help in high blood pressure, but I have not tried it meself.

May the Great Mother and the All Father comfort you. So mote it be.

Subject: RE: BS: 'Small' Strokes
From: wysiwyg
Date: 26 Jun 08 - 11:43 AM

(ANOTHER corrected post)


Hi, good BP. :~)

I'll look into that if it spikes again, but I'm good for now.

It's so much better now that I KNOW!

Another effect-- I forget to plan things that are not immediately on my mind-- simple things like thawing something in the AM for dinner in the PM. I'm also becoming more aware just how beautiful Hardi has been in the way he watches my back-- he never used to ask, in the AM, what dinner would be. Dinner just happened, and it was always a nice surprise. But this AM I realized he'd just incorporated it into the "what are YOU planning to do today" that's become a nice daily AM routine focusing us both on our day's intentions, and making a context for "how did YOUR day go" later in the day. I don't exactly need minute-by-minute reminders, but a structure where each thing prompts the next in the series intended, that works.

Cleansing tears looking at the upside, in the midst of a frustrated feeling, spur the re-wiring and spotting/using good coping mechanisms. Another help has been making sleep a real daily priority instead of an occasional luxury, balanced by tiny doses of caffeine through the day up to about 4PM.

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: 'Small' Strokes
From: katlaughing
Date: 26 Jun 08 - 11:53 AM

Well, good for you, for persevering. That does explains some incongruities, doesn't it?!

I know what you mean about the BP meds. For several years, I had been complaining of itching, but it was never full-blown and we weren't sure if it were meds or not. Last fall, we finally started experimenting, when I insisted, after trying everything else I could think of...shampoos, soaps, foods. We found two new meds which I've been on since and they do a tremendous job. The others didn't even keep my BP down in a consistent manner and we knew I was allergic to most of the ones which came before. The new meds are more expensive, but worth it.

All the best for you on this new journey of discovery, Susan.

luvyakat

Subject: RE: BS: 'Small' Strokes
From: Ebbie
Date: 26 Jun 08 - 12:40 PM

Susan - and kat - I always admire people who are in tune with their own systems and bodies and am frequently amazed at their perceptiveness. I don't seem to do that. Congratulations to the both of you(se). :)

Subject: RE: BS: 'Small' Strokes
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 26 Jun 08 - 03:29 PM

Years ago I was told that I'd had a small stroke, affecting my vision and causing a major headache. I learned a few years ago that it was a misdiagnosis. What I'd experienced was "discotomata," a type of migraine. I'd carefully made choices all of my adult life based upon that misdiagnosis. They may not have been bad choices, but it made things more difficult along the way.

And think--that stuff like losing half the plot of movies--means they'll be new to you next time you see them! Think of the possibilities! ;-)

SRS

Subject: RE: BS: 'Small' Strokes
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 26 Jun 08 - 03:38 PM

For an interesting discussion of the big strokes, you might want to listen to the June 25, 2008 episode of Fresh Air.

Neurological researcher Jill Bolte Taylor suffered a stroke 12 years ago. While a stroke is often devastating and sometimes fatal, Taylor was able to make a complete recovery after becoming her own experimental subject.

Her new book, My Stroke of Insight: A Brain Scientist's Personal Journey, recounts her experience.

Taylor is a Harvard-trained neuroanatomist. She was named one of Time magazine's 100 Most Influential People in the World for 2008.

She is currently affiliated with the Indiana University School of Medicine in Indianapolis.

SRS

Subject: RE: BS: 'Small' Strokes
From: wysiwyg
Date: 26 Jun 08 - 03:43 PM

Thanks both of you, and Kat, yes it does, dunnit?

I cannot reinforce enough how willing I was to leave this earth if the meds could not be solved, and according to the docs I had available to me at the time, they were doing their best to solve that to no avail. They gave me more and more of what made me sick, and I got sicker and sicker, and the BP never did really come down anyway. Duh, wrong meds!!!!!

I'm not even on really high doeses of the 3 things I take now! And yes, they were available at the time, and my research promised they'd probably have the same side effects, and the docs didn't care to try them or have the brains to add one really cool med the new doc added from a different class altogether..... but the ultimately cool thing was that the new doc believed in me and trusted my self-assessments-- and didn't toss me in the hospital instead of letting me run my ass off in the pool.

One stroke (probably one of the bigger ones) happened in and at the pool, in fact, and when I told the doc about the event at the time, he just grinned and said, "You know, we put most people in the hospital for that." I replied something to the effect that when I started foaming at the mouth, he could certainly trust me to admit myself one way or another. Of course the pool was 2 blocks from the local ER, the staff had notice of my condition, etc. etc., and a lifeguard friend was on duty the day it happened and sat with me as the BP spike dropped.... I was carrying my meter all the time then.

But by the time I met that new doc, I had sworn NOTHING was going to interrupt a good healthy activity level, period. PERIOD! That simple! To become my doc he had to sign onto that as the main indicator guiding EVERYthing else. Headache from adjusting to BP pills, fine. Upset tummy, diarrhea, fine if it didn't keep me out of the pool. Leg muscles quit pumping, NOPE.

I mean, the stereotypes about hypertensives are so strong ("they will lie and cheat to get out of taking their meds") that I had to put my foot down that hard, and I was so sick at the time that I meant it. I know all about dying, and I ain't especially afraid of it.

Living is nice too and I'm happy to be here, but I would absolutely do it again if needful. (I'd also love to have the malpractice bucks I could probably get, but I'm too busy LIVING to take that fight on.)
I prefer to maintain a very short sh*t-list, and anyone who could have helped and didn't, is on it.

But-- the doc who most blew it with me? She herself has had to learn a few things about personal health.... karma is a bitch, innit? I forgave her.... She contracted an illness that mimics MS and had to learn to walk all over again. I outrun her. Now she makes a very fine gynie-doc and helps supply the meds the other doc found for me, from the sample stash her practice allows her to stockpile.

The new doc is leaving the area next week. I'm keeping him though-- having also found a free overnight stop halfway there. These things have a way of working out sometimes.

~Susan

Subject: RE: BS: 'Small' Strokes
From: wysiwyg
Date: 26 Jun 08 - 03:46 PM

SRS, cross-posted. Thanks! And yes, There's Something About Mary was a riot last night all over again! I'd forgotten the whole middle of the movie!!! Not until it was over did I recall that I HAD known that part of the movie.

If only the Pens had won a Stanley Cup during the blocked-out time, I could enjoy those games all over again but alas, the games I have, I know they lost so many of them. Oh well!

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: 'Small' Strokes
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 26 Jun 08 - 04:28 PM

Upset tummy, diarrhea, fine if it didn't keep me out of the pool. . .

Er . . . ah . . . we know what you mean, Susan, but please head for the ladder if you feel the trots coming on. . .

Subject: RE: BS: 'Small' Strokes
From: wysiwyg
Date: 26 Jun 08 - 05:32 PM

LOL, silly. When it's meds-caused, it's time-predictable. One learns to... manage. :~)

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: 'Small' Strokes
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 26 Jun 08 - 05:55 PM

I had a Transient Ischemic attack in 1986...and have been on meds ever since, to make sure the blood pressure stays down....there are some side effects but the pills work. I suffered loss of memory at the time and have trouble with short term memory still...but like you Susan...glad I'm here...and the body is only temporary so I guess I'd best make good use of it.
Best wishes, Mike.

Subject: RE: BS: 'Small' Strokes
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 27 Jun 08 - 10:00 AM

I have many of the symptoms that WYSIWYG describes in post one at times - at age 40 I discovered that I had MMD since birth... Things have not been helped by what seems to have been a couple of micro strokes in the last few years...

It was described to me that I spent so much time when young making my brain using other circuitry, that I compensate, except perhaps when very tired.

Interestingly about movies, after being put on the happy pills, I discovered that many movies were often far more boring than I remembered them being... seems that my brain was no longer spinning its wheels, so now I am just watching what is acually happening instead of constantly planning out other optional story paths while watching... :-)

Subject: RE: BS: 'Small' Strokes
From: Jack Campin
Date: 27 Jun 08 - 11:48 AM

www.acronymfinder.com says MMD is Myotonic Muscular Dystrophy (Monday Morning Disease seems a bit unlikely).

How does that affect the brain?

Subject: RE: BS: 'Small' Strokes
From: GUEST,WYS at church
Date: 27 Jun 08 - 04:55 PM

I dunno but I am looking for micro-caffeine tabs. I cut the No-Doz in half but it's scored-- dunno if I could find a 1/4 size.

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: 'Small' Strokes
From: semi-submersible
Date: 27 Jun 08 - 06:11 PM

Does the caffeine have to be pharmaceutical? If it's safe in your circumstances to experiment, I'd look at tea, chocolate, and coffee or cocoa beans, broken into appropriate-sized pieces to give you the effects you need (using a precision scale to provide consistent dosage). Cocoa beans are quite delightful raw, and bitter but enjoyable roasted. (Roasted whole cocoa beans taste good chewed with almonds or hazelnuts.) Try a health food or specialty food store.

Since food isn't standardised, you might need to experiment with the dosage again each time you buy a new batch. Pills would be easier and more reliable, if they deliver what you need.

Good luck,
Maureen

Subject: RE: BS: 'Small' Strokes
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 28 Jun 08 - 08:47 AM

You can buy roasted coffee beans covered in chocolate...

Subject: RE: BS: 'Small' Strokes
From: JohnInKansas
Date: 28 Jun 08 - 09:17 AM

I cut the No-Doz in half but it's scored-- dunno if I could find a 1/4 size.

Your pharmacist can sell you a "pill splitter" that will allow you to split even the tiniest of pills, scored or not. Shouldn't cost you more than about $1 (US), and easier and much more accurate than an oridnary knife or even a razor blade.

I have one pill that's less than 1/8" x 3/16" x 1/16" (30mm x 45mm x 15 mm) that I have to split to take half of one per day. It's a nuisance to have to go through the bottle and split them all, but buying the "correct" size pills almost doubles the net cost.

Some pills, mostly "timed release" or "extended release" types, shouldn't be split, but most of the common ones can be.

Note that the lower cost for larger pills that you split is usually the case but you should check before purchasing a bunch, since sometimes the "twice as big" pill actually costs more than twice as much as the size you want.

John

Subject: RE: BS: 'Small' Strokes
From: Donuel
Date: 28 Jun 08 - 09:48 AM

Are we discussing TIA here? Transient Eschemic Attack
http://www.americanheart.org/presenter.jhtml?identifier=4781

All I know for myself is that I consider coffee a necessary drug.

Subject: RE: BS: 'Small' Strokes
From: Alice
Date: 28 Jun 08 - 10:31 AM

Small strokes seem to be pretty common. I've had aphasia and upper motor neuron syndrome and it is scary to know that small strokes have happened in my brain. Take care.

Subject: RE: BS: 'Small' Strokes
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Jun 08 - 11:05 PM

My brother had a "small stroke" about 18 months back and lost some of his peripheral vision on the right side. He's coping fine now, but it was frightening to him at the time.

My wife (who has trouble swallowing due to throat surgery) and I think that pills are made larger than necessary, especially if its a generic, so you think you're getting enough medicine ("Bigger is better").

Subject: RE: BS: 'Small' Strokes
From: catspaw49
Date: 28 Jun 08 - 11:30 PM

Amazing story Susan..............truly. I am so happy you are handling this so well.......I'd expect nothing less. All my best your way.....but you knew that.

'Course basically and at the crux of the matter is that you're fucked up to begin with................................

Pat

Subject: RE: BS: 'Small' Strokes
From: wysiwyg
Date: 29 Jun 08 - 11:10 AM

There's my Pat. :~) Of course you're right. (Warren Zevon would have loved my doc.)

TIA here? Transient Eschemic Attack

Transient means the effects go away. Ischemic means clot-caused = clot causes cessation of O2. (Other type is hemmorhagic(Sp?!?!) = brain bleed.) My types were Ischemic and the one identified-at-the-time episode had been thought to be Transient (or TIA), but ain't. Thus these also involved a larger number of cells. A TIA is a brain fart. (A type of brain fart.) In a stroke the brain goes ahead and sh*ts itself. It turns out you can never trust a brain fart, either, apparently. ;~)

I completely trust my brain to rewire itself, but it takes a dance I am still learning.


Another effect: when my computer goes on the fritz I can't think my way through the possible issues, but if I shut it the F down for a couple of days a few more ideas come to me and I can relaxedly take another run at seeing where the problem may be.

Brain at the moment is doing better than puder (as usual), so I'm fine but I'm offline a lot more these days.


JiK: Can I just plug the new external HD into my head? If so I can have the techie transfer all the files I was in the middle of moving when the puder got mad, and boogie on. :~)

Alice: YEAH. (((Alice)))

~Susan

Subject: RE: BS: 'Small' Strokes
From: Mrrzy
Date: 29 Jun 08 - 11:41 AM

Excellent, WYSIWYG! Good to hear you're listening to yourself (I listen to you, too, BTW...) - and even at our ages, our brains are still very plastic, and continued improvement ought to be the music of the day...

XOXOXO

Subject: RE: BS: 'Small' Strokes
From: maeve
Date: 29 Jun 08 - 12:31 PM

Reminds me of my migraine episodes, Susan. Thinking of you- as well as listening to you. :)

maeve

Subject: RE: BS: 'Small' Strokes
From: wysiwyg
Date: 29 Jun 08 - 12:37 PM

Thanks, dears..... (Mrr, I did figure out finally that you're listening, LOL)

BTW this sheds new light on a recent (?) thread on Waking Up Smart.... :~)


I thought my pill-splitter would crush the halved caff tabs, but although they made various sizes, they did split pretty well... and I FORGOT I like plain iced tea in the summer! Need to drink more water anyway, duh! :~)

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: 'Small' Strokes
From: GUEST,WYS at Ed's
Date: 09 Jul 08 - 11:45 AM

Brain fine, puder at techie's. By the time it gets back we'll be ion vacay; I'll check in as I can from here, and there.

Caff program working well.

ANother odd effect (upside) is that problem-solving that used to take weeks now goes from idea to solution to implementation, boom. I had really been chasing my tail trying to "think" through various practical challenges. Now I "see" a solution as soon as I relax, and it's done, successfully, within the day. This is not just the caff-- been going on since perimenopause hormones settled down-- but I find I'm relying in it more and more and it's part of my new "wiring."

One neat solution is a new portable autoharp stand that fits, along with everything else for solo gigging, into a lightweight cart. I have not been this portable since I started playing-- had to wait till laptops became the norm and a minimalist laptop stand jumped out at me one day.

Another great thing in process now is a travel set of accessibility/accommodative stuff that used to take a whole trunk, and now will fit into a pull-along bag (small enmough to fit under an airplane seat).

This all will mean that if the puder is dead, oh well. I have a nice old laptop case presently holding my 2 external hard drives.

It's all about lightweight portability. I must be headed somewhere. Can't wait to see where, why, and what. :~)

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: 'Small' Strokes
From: wysiwyg
Date: 11 Sep 08 - 10:04 AM

I mentioned a recent concern in a few other threads, so I thought I'd post the update here. I got my new glasses yesterday. They appear to have resolved all the vision problems I had been having, after a severe eyestrain I experienced when we got back from vacay. So, they were not stroke-related.

Since I was already doing everything I can do to take good care of myself, it was silly to worry (which I did). What will be, will be.

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: 'Small' Strokes
From: maeve
Date: 11 Sep 08 - 10:35 AM

Good news about the vision solution, Susan. I know I'll find many visual tasks will become easier when I can get new glasses.

Keep telling us of your many victories!

maeve

Subject: RE: BS: 'Small' Strokes
From: katlaughing
Date: 11 Sep 08 - 10:50 AM

Good!!

Subject: RE: BS: 'Small' Strokes
From: wysiwyg
Date: 11 Sep 08 - 11:39 AM

The following rambles quite a bit.


The vision issue had been vertigo and difficulty controlling focus leading to more vertigo. L and R eyes seemed to be trying different focal lengths to see fixed objects at a distance. In the past this had been corrected by prismatic lenses. This time to eye doc said he thought it might also involve something else.

My brilliant mind has sorted it all out, I think. Taking ALL the variables and phenomena into consideration and adding the new specs to the coping strategies I'd adopted while waiting for them, here's what I think happened.

On vacation, I did notice that the distance vision, driving, was getting blurry. I think the vacay vision was fine otherwise because I wasn't trying to see anything and I wasn't watching TV at all. I was just being and doing. The doc sez that bright light can improve vision because the pupils constrict and thus it's like looking thru a pinhole-- the retina has a smaller field to process, sort of. That's why we squint when we can't see well-- to narrow the view.

Anyway, we came back from vacay and things seemed fine except a tad blurry-- happens every year when it's time for new specs.

Then the new wide-screen TV we'd bought before we left was supplemented, a few days after our return, by a new DVR and new cable package. Great stuff! I over-indulged. No TV on vacay, and now this lovely thingful of movies. Vacay had softened my heart in some areas and the movies I was choosing allowed for some good therapeutic boo-hooing in those softer areas. So because I know that this kind of tears is good for us, I was now sitting and looking, with a fixed gaze, at one distance in particular.

The vertigo began. But so many other things were also going on as we got back into harness IRL that I wasn't sure WHAT was causing it. All I knew was, vertigo last year had been instantly banished by prisms in my glasses, so I went with that.


With stroke symptoms, they always wanna know-- did this begin suddenly? If so it may be a stroke. And if they know you have HAD a few, they think EVERYTHING must be another one, and they may not ask the right questions to locate other "new" things that also were happening at that time.

I think I merely sprained my eyes at a time when the distance prescription had gone off just far enough for my brain to stop working with the prisms.


But it was worrying-- it got so bad that at night, when I closed my eyes, at bedtime, if I pictured anything in my mind-- anything I thought of visually as opposed to abstractly-- there would be the vertigo again. It was very hard to assume anything other than stroke when closing my eyes didn't make the spinning stop....

BUT this day and night vertigo was sporadic, not all the time. It seemed I could do something to affect it, if I could only relax enough to think of variables and observe correctly what happend with each change in variables. So I decided to trust my brain and let it process itself toward a solution.

I noticed, as a passenger in the van, that if I looked ahead I could not focus, everything got spinny, and I mentally howled like a cat in a car. But if I looked to the nearer scenery, about 30 feet, all was calm. At home, same thing-- glancing between near and far, or looking out the window, vertigo. Sticking with a calm gaze at 30 feet was fine. At the pool, gazing across the narrow pool, vertigo. Gazing down the lengths, fine. Hm..... so I stopped looking too near or too far, as I waited for the new glasses.

I stopped spending more than an hour in front of the TV, limited Mudcat staring, stopped driving (because it requires frequent changes in focal length), and..... tried to wait patiently for the "rush job" on the specs. During this time the vertigo lessened and lessened and lessened. I think it was the TV-induced eyestrain diminishing, plus the gradual re-strengthneeing of eye muscles to handle TV time, plus the new way of looking at certain distances only.

I assumed that the prisms needed a change AND that the distance prescription needed to be stronger. Doc said, no, just the distance. That was the source of his worry.

But when he put the proposed prescription on me at the office to look around with, I tried everything I could to make the vertigo come back while wearing them. Couldn't get anything to spin. And every time I had experienced the vertigo, as long as I ignored it, I could walk with perfect balance. I just had to treat it as non-significant information.

With my mind screaming, "Yer gonna FALL......" "No," I replied, "I am NOT. There is nothing spinning at all. Just WALK. STEP down those stairs, DO IT. Look farther away, or pretend we're blind."


It may be that a previous stroke left my brain more vulnerable to vertigo. It may be that therefore, the margin of error between distance scrip and prisms is narrower than it is for other people, and that the eye doc doesn't know enough about that.


It doesn't matter. What matters is that prayer and patience got me through a hard time while I trusted myself to live, and live well. And that I am already doing everything that can be done to reduce stroke risk.

It's quite an odd thing to tell your own brain to shut the F up! :~) But I'm in charge here-- not the brain, and it's gonna have to behave!

~Susan

Subject: RE: BS: 'Small' Strokes
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 11 Sep 08 - 10:14 PM

Just noticed in the last few days that an area of my left arm, the outside of the narrow part of the palm from the fingers up to just above the wrist feels permanently different (when I rub my fingers along there) to the other side- slightly numb - no recent noticeable 'traumatic' episode to link with it... no noticeable effect on any other mobility issues fortunately.

Sigh... Better get that coffin measured...

:-)

I had enormous hassle (vertigo, inability to focus after a few minutes, etc) for years with being unable to use my glasses - to exactly the same prescription as my contact lenses - for 2 decades. The new optometrist agreed that since the glasses had astigmatism correction that the contact lenses didn't, maybe that was the cause of the hassle - the brain freaking out with the minor focusing changes. Needed new frames anyway recently - so he agreed that leaving out the astigmnatism correction was worth a try.

Problem instantly and permanently solved!

Even though their 'training' seems to teach that the correction SHOULD be in the glasses anyway - I used to wear the lenses for a greater proportion of time than the glasses - it seems that my eye/brain system copes better without the correction factor at all. Now I can swap from one to the other without any hassle - though the glasses are deliberately designed to allow closer focusing for 'round the house' and the contacts better for distance for driving.

Dunno how relevant to you that could be Susan! :-)

I do agree with your "I just had to treat it as non-significant information". That seems to be the trick to help rewire the beastie...

Robin

Subject: RE: BS: 'Small' Strokes
From: Hawker
Date: 12 Sep 08 - 06:23 PM

I too have had 2 TIAs or mini strokes, the first about 3 years ago, it took a year to get the brain scan that showed the result I knew before they diagnosed it, I didnt go to the doctors for a week sfate it happened as I knew what had happened and was somewhat scared! Sounds silly but it worked out OK for me. Found myself saying totally the wrong word (often replacing it with something hilarious and out of context) when I Knew whatt I wanted to say. I also often do the You know.... and try to mime the word I am looking for, the kids find this higly entertaining.
my hands didnt work properly for about a week, and when I am tired, I know, because my fingers become useless!
The second rendered me speechless for about an hour, which was frightening, it was a week after my dad died and again I refrained from going to the doctor for 24 hours.
I am fine, have no real problems, High BP and arthritis, but there are a lot worse, so I consider myself very lucky.
Kat that was interesting, I take antihistamines to stop the insane itching that I suffer from as a result of the meds I am taking, as my GP will not take me off the meds, as I am 'stable' at the moment, it works for me but means popping another pill!
Cheers, Lucy

Subject: RE: BS: 'Small' Strokes
From: wysiwyg
Date: 12 Sep 08 - 06:45 PM

FT, that hand thing could well be carpal tunnel. Suggest you check it out.

Lucy, hope things stay well settled for you.

Thanks to you both for your shared experiences.

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: 'Small' Strokes
From: M.Ted
Date: 12 Sep 08 - 11:08 PM

Susan--I missed this thread the first time around--I'm sorry to hear about your troubles, but I'm glad that you're dealing with them with persistence and good humor. Accelerated problem-solving ability is a benefit from central nervous system trauma that has been observed in the past--it seems to open up the creative channels--you give a little and you get a little, as they say--

Take care.

Subject: RE: BS: 'Small' Strokes
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 12 Sep 08 - 11:24 PM

I had CT in he right arms decades ago - not been doing much with my left hand (No Comments Please!) like then.

I suspect it may be a pinched nerve somewhere - I have had some cramp like feelings in the 3 middle fingers left hand - and the degree of numbness seems to vary at times. I also have had neck problems - the siteof teh pinch could be anywhere in the path...

Subject: RE: BS: 'Small' Strokes
From: wysiwyg
Date: 13 Sep 08 - 11:15 PM

Thanks, M.Ted. Hope things have been well with you.

FT, yes... do check all that out.

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: 'Small' Strokes
From: wysiwyg
Date: 18 Sep 08 - 12:24 PM

The vertigo is back, but (whew) I just had a short surprise chat with my wonderful doc (DO internist). I was phoning to ask what tests he might want me to get, here, before traveling to his new location (downstate). But instead of the nurse I requested, he came on the line himself to give me some sh*t. (I gave it right back; it's mutually diagnostic, LOL.)

In a quick but thorough interrogation (health history uipdate), he established that it does not sound to him like a new stroke, and I got some instructions on the local doc's visit planned for early next week.

BIG RELIEF.

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: 'Small' Strokes
From: wysiwyg
Date: 02 Oct 08 - 11:06 AM

When you show up for a Brain MRI to rule out a brain tumor, they really look atcha funny when you calmly hand over a CT scan report detailing strokes. Even the machine operators are not really wired for calm intelligence from patients. I wanted the MRI reader to have the report for reference, because of course I love the idea that if there has been a new stroke, I definitely have a baseline from which to date it. And I love the clearer detail on the older strokes, for the use of my main doc.

But I straightened him out before I left. I decided humor would improve his affect and perhaps loosen him up for the next lucky patient-- cuz he had done a good (if sort of freaked out) job.

As I gathered my things: "I'm sure you've heard this a million times, or maybe people just think it but don't say it-- it really IS just like being a tampon, getting shoved and held in that tight tube!"

No, he responded, he'd never heard THAT one. But I know it will stay in his mind. :~) I once called a gynie a muff diver. He never did get rid of it, he happily reported.


The doc who ordered this MRI has no idea about the earlier strokes. She's in for a big surprise when she gets her report.


MRIs are no fun, unless you make them fun. As soon as they slid me into the tube, I knew I had two choices of viewpoint: "Either I'm in God's firm and loving grip, or I am in King Kong's teeth and I am soon to be ravished and crushed." Obiviously I chose the former, and spent my 14 minutes meditating on how pointedly He has been directing my every step since the news of the strokes. "And now I want you right here, doing this," He said. "Just imagine how detailed a look you'll have of your wonderful, amazing brain."


Whatever! I am still sure this is positional vertigo-- the vibration of the machine-sound made one ear bonkers for an hour afterwards. and now I know which ear is affected. But I have also noticed in the last few days that bright FS light seems to help whatever is causing this issue-- another useful link to why this reared its ugly head when we got back from bright-sunny vacay to the darkened TV room.

~Susan

Subject: RE: BS: 'Small' Strokes
From: Bee
Date: 02 Oct 08 - 01:17 PM

I hope things continue to improve, Susan. With the history of stroke among the women in my family, I will not be surprised to have these experiences someday.

Although, on the subject of the occasional premature diagnosis: my Mom was thought to be having TIAs at one point, but their origin was mysterious. It turned out her thyroid was so enlarged that when she turned her head a certain way, the gland pressed against her carotid artery, cutting bloodflow to the brain and causing her to pass out, and be so addled when she regained consciousness that she would have garbled speech for several hours.

Subject: RE: BS: 'Small' Strokes
From: wysiwyg
Date: 02 Oct 08 - 09:34 PM

Wow, Bee!

.... just got a voicemail from my doc-- she sez I have spots on my brain and next step is neuro to rule out MS.

WTF?

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: 'Small' Strokes
From: Bee
Date: 02 Oct 08 - 09:41 PM

All I can offer is my good wishes, Susan - and that 'ruling out' is a good aim - diagnosis is an art as well as a science, I think. Try not to worry, though I know it's very hard.

Subject: RE: BS: 'Small' Strokes
From: wysiwyg
Date: 02 Oct 08 - 09:54 PM

Thanks, Bee, and for your quick response, too.

Uh..... yeah, really just sorta on hold at the WTF stage. My main doc got a copy of the MRI report-- I should get my own copy tomorrow-- I'll call his office in the AM and see where he wants me to do it.

I've been wanting to see a neuro anyway, to discuss how what-all I've been experiencing overall is related to which part of the brain-- just for curiosity's sake, really. So now I have a reason to see one that the insurance will cover-- to that extent, it's all good. And I know a fair amount about MS-- I know that rapid diagnosis is the ideal but rare, so if that is my thing, this fast-track is not a bad thing.

But I think I'll just let that WTF linger till the AM-- as my doc said after the stroke reports, I'm already doing everything I need to be doing.

~Susan

Subject: RE: BS: 'Small' Strokes
From: katlaughing
Date: 03 Oct 08 - 12:20 AM

Deep breaths and keep us informed as you are able and want to, please, Susan. Just remember, too, they can be wrong and things can change. You are held in the loving arms of your God and I know you are watched over. (I know you know this, too.:-) I am giving thanks for your complete and immediate healing. I give thanks for this or something better for the highest good of all concerned. So mote it be!

love,

kat

Subject: RE: BS: 'Small' Strokes
From: wysiwyg
Date: 03 Oct 08 - 08:52 AM

Check. Doing really well, actually.

Thanks, friend.

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: 'Small' Strokes
From: wysiwyg
Date: 03 Oct 08 - 05:31 PM

Today was one of those days that, when I look back on them later, I see quite clearly where this persistent notion came from, that I am actually the only person who can be in charge of my own healthcare-- not any doctor, nurse, practice group, or healthcare system. In my younger years I suspected it, but I rebelled against it. Today I can just remind myself that a phone call billed as "urgent"-- that never came-- maybe isn't really so urgent.

See, on the one hand there is a mountainous pile of potential worry and "Gotta Do Something Now!" On the other hand there is quite a large pile of historically solid Benign Reality. Today, so far, I did most of the things I had planned to do, and didn't notice any serious obstacle to doing them. (Enter Scarlett O'Hara in hoopskirts.)


So it's up to me to decide:

<> whether to take it personally that my call didn't come, from the one doc I picked to be my main guy after years of really abysmal rural health care, and assume it's a case of more lousy healthcare--

or

<> whether to assume that the doc had read the MRI report and just hadn't been so worried that he felt the need to set aside over-booked patients, hospital rounds, and a first baby due any minute at home, to call me.


.... And the docs wonder why we end up taking responsibility for ourselves and not treating them like the Gods they used to be able to pretend they were! They went out of the "I'm God" business a long, long time ago. :~) The job was open-- so I took it.

~Susan

Subject: RE: BS: 'Small' Strokes
From: wysiwyg
Date: 06 Oct 08 - 04:00 PM

I'm really starting to think of these "small strokes" as God's Brain Surgery. I remember praying to get rid of most of the things that seem to be gone, and I don't miss them a bit. I just spent a lovely fall afternoon, rocking in my porch recliner and then marking some treelings to keep when he mows, converting all the worries into gratitudes. One of the best days of my life! I wish Hardi were here to share it-- he's out gallivanting my MIL around in the fall foliage.

With a coupla hundred bucks worth of the filet mignon I'm waiting to divide up for the freezer, and the eggs that will make all the thawed ground beef into meatloaf, aaarghhhhh!

There's so much that I can do now, that I love to do! So I'm doing it!

~Susan

Subject: RE: BS: 'Small' Strokes
From: wysiwyg
Date: 07 Oct 08 - 03:14 PM

... and I'm glad I did, because the "new worries" have been deferred by my great doc: I'll see the neuro of his choice around the first of the year.

~Susan

Subject: RE: BS: 'Small' Strokes
From: wysiwyg
Date: 07 Oct 08 - 05:02 PM

Where I got referred is part of this: http://www.planetree.org/

Very cool-- patient empowerment model.

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: 'Small' Strokes
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 08 Oct 08 - 04:43 AM

Thoughts and prayers continue........

Subject: RE: BS: 'Small' Strokes
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 08 Oct 08 - 04:54 PM

A friend at work is dealing with small strokes. I'll go look through the thread and see if any of it relates to what she described recently.

SRS

Subject: RE: BS: 'Small' Strokes
From: wysiwyg
Date: 08 Oct 08 - 07:06 PM

If she'd like to correspond, PM me her email address.

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: 'Small' Strokes
From: wysiwyg
Date: 11 Oct 08 - 10:33 AM

I'm learning so much!

The optic nerve is a BIG area of interest: I need to learn all about it, and I have a great local doc who can help me do it plus annual scans of mine for him to look at.

I also have some new data to analyze for his use, and some experiments to do so I can chart my observations.

A computer/monitor glitch resulted in Hardi buying us a new home puder and going back to the older monitor. I like the speed of the new puder but a lot of my music programs aren't on it yet, and the old monitor is a lot less clear than the old one. Vision experiments and clipping sound files for my aquatic workouts are going to take priority for a bit-- so a lot less reading/posting at Mudcat for awhile.

Mid-mornings are the best time to try to catch me by phone, but I'm limiting chair-time too so I may not hear it ring. But I'll be thinking of all my MudBuds.

:~)

Be sweet (but not twee),

~Susan

Subject: RE: BS: 'Small' Strokes
From: wysiwyg
Date: 15 Oct 08 - 11:32 AM

I'm sure this is going to sound really presumptuous (I was going to say "big-headed, LOL), but I actually really like getting to a place where I'm not smarter/quicker than EVERYone and everything around me. Take the new puder, for example. I'm sure it's faster than the old one, and I don't care why. It's also set up for computer dummies, which I hadn't been for a long time, but which I kinda like being now. I COULD wrack my brain to do everything on a computer I used to do, but it's also kinda nice that they make them now for old folks who never had computers, because that's just right for me. And I COULD cable in the old puder to retrieve the millions of great bookmarks-- they may also be on an external drive I haven't bothered to hook up yet-- but it's pretty easy to find the few I really care about when I need them now.

One thing, though, is really a little odd-- and that is the number of MudBuds I didn't PM about my strokes, who have not posted here and who I therefore presume know nothing about something I've been open about for some time now. It's sort of a big deal in my life, at least... Oh well! I guess it's a chance to learn who my friends really are. I know that sounds troll-ish; maybe it is. All I know is, it's been on my mind for a couple of weeks and I decided to just go ahead and SAY it.

~Susan

Subject: RE: BS: 'Small' Strokes
From: maeve
Date: 15 Oct 08 - 11:40 AM

Susan, just remember that lots of Mudcatters don't read the BS threads, and that many who used to do so have cut way back due to the ...shall we say... argumentative tone of many BS threads.

Others may have no clue what to say.

I'm glad you're continuing to take hold and LIVE.

maeve

Subject: RE: BS: 'Small' Strokes
From: wysiwyg
Date: 15 Oct 08 - 11:45 AM

Thanks, sweetie; I do tell myself that.

I think of you often! ???maeve???

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: 'Small' Strokes
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 15 Oct 08 - 08:52 PM

The degree of numbness I mentioned seems to come and go - some days it is just not there.

"I actually really like getting to a place where I'm not smarter/quicker than EVERYone and everything around me"

Yeah - it was fun when I was in Mensa :-) but Aussie Mensa imploded when certain committee members wasted huge amounts of funds by suing another committee member - and they lost the case anyway ... Mensa is still going, but I just stopped paying membership and walked away. Just because some people ARE JUDGED SMARTER ON A TEST, doesn't mean they CAN ACT smarter... The first Mensa meeting I went to - International meeting - top brains from all around the world etc, nobody remember to buy milk for the coffee.... :-)

I do consider that a lot of people don't read the BS threads much anymore, and most really wouldn't know what to say about such a condition that they really don't want to think about, for they fear it happening to themselves.

Subject: RE: BS: 'Small' Strokes
From: wysiwyg
Date: 15 Oct 08 - 09:48 PM

:~) Well, we know smarts isn't catching, so strokes probably aren't either. :~)

~Susan

Subject: RE: BS: 'Small' Strokes
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 16 Oct 08 - 04:08 AM

If strokes was catching my neighbour would be a good candidate for another - she at it again - cutting down my trees, lying that since her 'stroke' - which was probably as faked as her last 'heart attack', that she can;t lift her arms above her head - she's out in the yard working now, lifting her arms above her head.... :-).

Subject: RE: BS: 'Small' Strokes
From: wysiwyg
Date: 16 Oct 08 - 09:51 AM

I'd have a talk with those trees...... I hear they can get up and walk when the motivation is strong enough.

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: 'Small' Strokes
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 16 Oct 08 - 11:06 PM

"I talk to the trees - that's why they put me away!"

Spike Milligan

Subject: RE: BS: 'Small' Strokes
From: wysiwyg
Date: 30 Oct 08 - 12:08 PM

I'm starting a new daily devotional today, and have called in some prayer support as well as some IRL practical, prayer, and encouragement support. The day's reading in the devotional is particularly apt, considering my musical side:

Oct. 30.

    My halting words will some day turn to song--
    Some far-off day, in holy other times!
    The melody now prisoned in my rimes
    Will one day break aloft, and from the throng
    Of wrestling thoughts and words spring up the air;
    As from the flower its colour's sweet despair
    Issues in odour, and the sky's low levels climbs.

From: The Diary of an Old Soul by George MacDonald (also available at Project Gutenberg)

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: 'Small' Strokes
From: wysiwyg
Date: 07 Nov 08 - 02:02 PM

The neuro and internist appointments will be Jan. 21/23.

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: 'Small' Strokes
From: Bee
Date: 07 Nov 08 - 07:25 PM

Hey, Susan.

I stay away from Mudcat sometimes, or just do a couple posts. Doesn't mean I don't think of you!

I'm glad your doctors seem sorted out, though waiting until January must be tiresome.

I personally doubt you've lost much in the way of smarts! I know I have, but it's down to normal aging, and not so much smarts as being a touch slower on information processing.

You know I don't pray, but if good thoughts have any influence at all, you have mine. ;-)

Subject: RE: BS: 'Small' Strokes
From: wysiwyg
Date: 07 Nov 08 - 08:26 PM

Thanks, Bee. I think I have the "smarts" thing pretty well wrestled to the ground; I'm as "wise" as ever, not really too much slower, and usually able to work around the missing pieces. It seems to help that more folks know about it now-- they cut me a moment's slack to find a thought.

Waiting till January is not really tiresome; I have so much to do right here, right now, that I'm just glad to be able to DO it.

Thanks for your good thoughts,

~Susan

Subject: RE: BS: 'Small' Strokes
From: wysiwyg
Date: 19 Nov 08 - 10:31 AM

They say different types of neuro damage result in different species of dysphasias-- some get rhymes, some get near-synonyms, some get nonsense. I usually produce the first. "Toenails" became "nose..... NOPE..... tails.... (nope).... TOENAILS!"

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: 'Small' Strokes
From: maeve
Date: 19 Nov 08 - 11:00 AM

I continue to follow with interest, Susan.

The rhyming thang...LOL Now we know how rhymed poems began, eh?

maeve

Subject: RE: BS: 'Small' Strokes
From: wysiwyg
Date: 19 Nov 08 - 02:44 PM

m, :~)

I hope it came through in my post, at least to those who know me a little, but I find all these unexpected mis-speaks hilarious and I never confuse it wioth simply being dumb or poorly vocabulated. (like the new word?) I've been enjoying laughing at myself for years, ever since the day I careened off a pony making a tight turn, bounced a few times, and then laughed so hard I could hardly climb back up. Or the day my jeans fell down around my young-adult ankles in downtown Boston noon rush hour. But with stroke brain I crack myself up more than ever-- the pressure of being the "quickest one" is off, maybe for good!

~Susan

Subject: RE: BS: 'Small' Strokes
From: wysiwyg
Date: 25 Nov 08 - 12:49 PM

From a note to a friend.

Sorry I was not my usual responsive, chirpy self yesterday.

With stroke-brain, I try hard to keep a daily routine that works well for me-- AMs are for brainwork, and fulfilling commitments I have made. This is because as the day goes on, anything that has proved too hard for stroke-brain accumulates into a variable degree of confusion. Also any lack of sleep catches up with me, with a vengeance, in the early and mid afternoon.

By 3PM I am, sometimes, not in the best shape mentally.

And that's why THAT part of the day is usually for PHYSICAL stuff-- pool, yard chores, etc.

By late evening I usually get my head clear again for the next night's sleep and good dreams. Then I wake up fine in the new day (especially if I keep the schedule, and EAT, and turn on the faux-sunlight lamp). Then that day usually goes pretty well and the afternoon is not so messed up.

Yesterday it was trying to use the internet to see how I will get around for the January doctor visits...

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: 'Small' Strokes
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 25 Nov 08 - 06:56 PM

What do you get if you have a room full of monkeys pounding on typewriters?

Well the world has finally answered that - you get Wikipedia!

Having become tired of the mass ignorance and stupidity there, what with the ignorant lunatics being in charge of the deletion section of the asylum, I accepted a Facebook invite from a friend.

Best thing I've done for a while.

Really stimulated the old brain cells.

Apart from linking up with a lot of mucatters, I've found some new really nice people while playing some of the games there.

I never used to be good when younger at certain types of games that involved strategy and tactics, but over the years I have improved my life skills in real life by by doing these games.

Best thing I've done in a while - it really makes the grey matter work! More tired at first, thus sleeping better, because making the brain work harder is good for it.

Subject: RE: BS: 'Small' Strokes
From: wysiwyg
Date: 25 Nov 08 - 07:11 PM

Yup. Done much the same here.

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: 'Small' Strokes
From: Janie
Date: 25 Nov 08 - 09:12 PM

Sounds like a real good idea to pace yourself, not only during the rhythm of the day, but through this busy liturgical season also.

((((((((((((hug))))))))))))

Janie

Subject: RE: BS: 'Small' Strokes
From: wysiwyg
Date: 25 Nov 08 - 10:05 PM

Yup, thus the workouts. TOP priority. Audiobooks, ideas, all that stuff flow in the water.

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: 'Small' Strokes
From: wysiwyg
Date: 09 Dec 08 - 09:01 AM

Got some GREAT news yesterday from an eye specialist I went to, in an effort to better understad and (hopefully) manage the eye/neuro components of the weird eye stuff I've been experiencing. (I went because I'd had a scary and REALLY weird NEW thing last week.) He did every test in the book and then some, and he LISTENED (he's also a friend of ours). And it turned out that it's all mechanical eye muscle stuff, that I can continue to manage pretty much as I have been doing, and not new neuro stuff. Also he will call my optometrist to request one last tweak to the setup on the glasses. It's a bit like a sound system-- always the one last tweak.

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: 'Small' Strokes
From: wysiwyg
Date: 14 Dec 08 - 08:45 AM

A thing I'd tried and tried to think my way through would not think, so eventually I shrugged, set it to rest, and boogied on. Suddenly today I could see the whole thing, and probably even talk about it, including how to resolve it for a GREAT result. And now I see how stroke-brain kept it hidden; all I had to do was look at it in a way I have always had, from the correct angle, relaxedly and without fearing the unraveling. I can hold that view in my hand, turn it to any angle desired, and continue to see it clearly. Like a hologram. It's quite lovely, actually, to do that.

~Susan

Subject: RE: BS: 'Small' Strokes
From: wysiwyg
Date: 16 Dec 08 - 12:52 PM

According to my great opthalmologist, who has taken inordinate time and care to see what's going on with me this month, "Accomndatative Spasm" is the $50 word for what he agrees I seem to have did to my eyeballs.

My assignment today is to do ALL the "bad" things that "cause" it and see if the new eye drops prevent it. This includes wrapping up a documewnt on brain-histopry details fdor the January nbeuro appt, snuggling in to some great saved movies and documentaries, and caering to the gloomy SDA_producing lighting here that I would more usually light up with artifiucuial light. In other words, it's practically a chocolate day so by bedtime I should be happily lapping some up.

And then if the drops-approach confirms the Dx, there shall be new and much stronger lenses. Can't afford them NOW, but I've learned so much about coping with this that I think I can do OK till next year's scheduled new lenses on the vision "care" plan. If I go into major spasms, there will be the drops. :~) Muscle relaxers for the eye-focusing muscles.

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: 'Small' Strokes
From: wysiwyg
Date: 27 Jan 09 - 08:26 PM

As I might have expected, it's easier to re-learn how to make up verses for spirituals when good friends sing along and wait patiently for the right brain fart to occur. Thanks, Dick and Susan, for singing with me!

The last MudGather here was during the fresh-strokes period. No wonder I couldn't think of any songs I knew, surrounded by singers that weekend.

~Susan

Subject: RE: BS: 'Small' Strokes
From: maeve
Date: 28 Jan 09 - 06:07 AM

Susan, I continue to read of your progress here. I'm glad you've had some singing recently, and glad you have something in place with the eyedrops to further identify what is happening with your eyes.

I love your description of the hologram in your hand approach to dealing with stroke-brain. That's the sort of description "Neurology Today" would be interested in printing.

maeve

Subject: Beading the Diocesan Education/Formatrion Necklace
From: wysiwyg
Date: 03 Feb 09 - 01:25 PM

Thanks, Maeve. I only saw your reply today. It's fortuitous-- I needed to write the following. (I hope other strokers will continue to write their experiences too-- not just "my" thread).

That hologram image is not original with me, and I have used it long before Strokebrain. It IS of interest FOR strokebrainn, though, isn't it? I hadn't seen that; I'll pass it along when I have a chance.

It is related to what I believe and experience as our complete freedom, as human beans, to choose our viewpoint-- to choose from what angle to view any idea, fact, situation, etc.-- and to choose, therefore, more creatively and flexibly, how to address the "whatever." (See www.rc.org)


Here is an integrative example, from a contribution I made recently to a "debate" on which way to best educate new clergy-- one "side" favored semimary education only, and the other featured local education only. Both sides had very strong and important points.

Because I love both of the sides and the people espousing them, and because of other thoughts I had recently been having, I spoke up with a "teaching moment." An image came to mind of a Native woman, beading a necklace. I puased before I launched into the meat of it to think how this group could be led to see what I was seeing.

"So often," I relaxedly began, "in our human thinking we assume that different paradigms are opposing paradigms. Yet the two I just heard fit together quite well. Let me describe what I am seeing in my mind as I've listened to the conversation. (the pause)

"We all agree, here, on the curriculum, don't we? We all know what it takes to be prepared for ministry. OK--

"Assume that the education's content-- the curriculum-- is linear. Defined... long... narrow. I'm seeing it as a string, a cord. We can refine our ideas about the texture of the cord, but a cord is a cord.
The curriculum is the currioculum is the curriculum. We test for it in the General Ordination Examination, nationally, and we all know about the canonical areas it covers.

"OK, now think of the formative experiences where people GET the curriculum. Think of a few of the ones you yourselves have experienced. They may have been year-long events, they may have been weekend workshops, they may have been single meetings rich in significance and feeling. [making a round shape with my arms as they think absorbedly and watch me....] Those are not linear-- but rounnnnd, something you can..... roll around in your mouth.... and savor... for a long time....

"Those are the beads to string onto the cord.

"You get your [anti-racism] bead and string it. You get your anti-sexual-abuse bead, your New Testament bead, and so forth. [people rushing ahead of my words now in their facial expressions-- they GET IT].

"Of course each bead may be a different color, size and shape.... at a certain point you knot the cord and there you have the training toward [a particular ministry license we've been discussing].

"Imagine all the people in the congregations, stringing their beads. Putting them together. Multi-strand necklaces that are very strong, and very beautiful.

"Wouldn't YOU want one too?"


~Susan

Subject: RE: BS: 'Small' Strokes
From: wysiwyg
Date: 03 Feb 09 - 01:31 PM

PS, while I wrote all that, two nice young men (who'd had the manners to knock and ask first) were out back reducing the rabbit population. In mid-edit they knocked on the door to present the two carcasses I'd requested for the permission. I never heard a single shot, BTW-- they were that good about where they shot.

They said they'd bagged three and gave me the two agreed-- they'd purposely picked the two least-blasted-to-bits. They'd not only field-dressed them, they'd skinned them. They waited while I got a big ole Ziploc-- straight to the freezer with these beauties-- and as they deposited them I described where we usually see the rabbits in warm weather, and gave them a blanket OK to come anytime, whether we are home or not, and blast away as long as they bring their own bag for the pair to leave us in the doorway.

:~)

~Strokebrain Strikes Again

Subject: RE: BS: 'Small' Strokes
From: wysiwyg
Date: 17 Mar 09 - 12:13 PM

Another nice effect of all this re-wiring is that I am, by default, more focused on present time than any other time. I CAN think in other time zones, but I have to decide to do it to access it, and that's helpful and healthful, for me.

Examples of new strategies in light of that:

1. I decluttered my email with an automated reply that should help slow down a cascade of too-much-fun communications I seem to have set off. I can be "out of the office," too.

2. I have (had before, have redesigned) a homemade memo board next to the TV that is spang in my face from my chair. Blank legal size paper, laminated. Three post-its: EAT, WORK, MEDS, and a 4th post-it after an afternoon "spiritual life-coach" meeting mentioned above.

~Susan

Subject: Abrazos 'Small' Strokes
From: wysiwyg
Date: 11 Jun 09 - 02:58 PM

Since January's neurology apppointment I have continued to learn so much about brain function-- in general, and in mine.

One thing I have learned is the importance of knowing whether some function has been lost gradually-- which seems to be the case for many againg people and which can often be ascribed to mini-mini strokes and TIA, and to which the aging brain apparently, as others have reflected here in their posts, can be vulnerable. This is considered "normal".....

Or whether, as I experienced, the loss of function was sudden.

What seems to matter is not how much tissue was damaged in a small stroke, but how sudden was the effect.


What also seems to matter (as far as daily living is concerned) is whether the person's self-monitoring feedback loops are working or can be helped to work. As they said to me about another person I was caring for-- it doesn't matter how often the person asks for help (such as toileting help). What matters is when they do not know they need help, even AFTERwards (as in toileting help).

It seems to be a fundamental human requirement, in our times, to be able to ask for help. THAT has some serious medical ethics implications, but it seems to be how we are operating as a society at the moment.

It certainly has affected the medical care I have received.

We tend, in managed care, only to get help for those things which we have already identified as problems, and then the help is usually geared to what we request in terms of treatment. More and more, doctors are allowing what IMO is way too much self-diagnosis. I'm glad the doc listens, but I thank God I have one that argues with my own ideas long enough to be sure we both like the plan.


Abrazos,

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: 'Small' Strokes
From: bobad
Date: 31 Aug 09 - 07:34 AM

New drug for stroke victims

(UKPA) – 1 day ago

A new blood-thinning drug could end the use of rat poison as a primary medical treatment to prevent stroke, it has been claimed.

For half a century, thousands of patients at risk of stroke have been given warfarin to prevent blood clotting.

But treatment with the drug, commonly used to kill vermin, is risky.

Doses have to be carefully watched and adjusted to prevent excessive bleeding from cuts or stomach ulcers, requiring frequent clinic visits.

Warfarin can also interact badly with other drugs and certain foods, including green vegetables and grapefruit.

The new drug, Pradaxa, works in a different way and is far safer.

Patients taking the pill twice a day do not have to be constantly checked for signs of overdosing, and can eat what they like.

The drug is also much easier to use alongside other medicines.

Results from a major trial showed that Pradaxa was 34% better at reducing the risk of stroke and blood clots in at-risk patients than well-controlled warfarin.

Death rates were also reduced by 15% when patients were given the drug.

Copyright © 2009 The Press Association. All rights reserved.
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Subject: RE: BS: 'Small' Strokes
From: wysiwyg
Date: 31 Aug 09 - 07:53 AM

Hmmmm.....

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: 'Small' Strokes
From: catspaw49
Date: 01 Sep 09 - 05:51 AM

Yeah......The actual intro of this drug may be as soon as the end of this year or as long as two years away. There are numerous other companies developing similar products and in the process of gaining FDA approval. I've been on Warfarin for 12 years and I'd love to see something else.

The drugs are still being evaluated for their effectiveness in patients like Karen (clotting disorder) and myself (A-Fib and a mechanical mitral valve) but I hope things keep moving ahead on those tests and evals and the stuff gets approved. One sure thing.....its going to be really pricey when its available, at least for a few years. Warfarin is dirt cheap but an incredible pain in the ass to use.

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: 'Small' Strokes
From: wysiwyg
Date: 06 Feb 10 - 03:49 PM

Spaw, I'm sorry I had missed your post-just-prev. I wish (pray) you each the best of luck, and one another's continuing, great support. I still recall, BTW, the GREAT advice you gave me as a newbie on best use of the Mudcat. I think on that LOT, lately... thank you.

===

Brain Fog is a lay term for a symptom of a lot of Catters (we tend to call it CRS or CRFT). Below is a handout from a Sjogren's Disorder's info site, that summarizes a few of the things I had to discover by myself-- wish I'd had it all on one page!!!

===

What is Brain Fog?

Brain Fog is a lay term to describe fluctuating mild memory loss that is inappropriate for a person's age. It may include forgetfulness, spaciness, confusion, decreased ability to pay attention, an inability to focus, and difficulty in processing information. Remember that gradual cognitive decline from early adulthood is a fact of life.

Brain Fog can occur in Sjögren's syndrome (SS), but other factors might cause these symptoms and should be considered by you and your doctor.

What YOU can do about Brain Fog:

Manage your lifestyle to optimize your health and sense of well being.

Develop a close working relationship with your doctor(s):

• Always report changes in cognition/memory and mood (depression, anxiety).

• Make sure your physician knows about all the prescription and OTC medications you are taking. Especially in patients over 65-70 years of age, a major cause of cognitive dysfunction can be side effects of drugs and drug interactions.

• Inquire about your hormonal status, thyroid function, and blood pressure.

Additional actions:

• Rejuvenate with sufficient sleep. If after 8-9 hours of sleep you are still tired, tell your doctor.

• Minimize stress and anxiety:

• Set realistic expectations

• Plan ahead

• Take breaks throughout the day

• Learn relaxation exercises and practice them at regular intervals

• Balance work and leisure

• Let yourself laugh

• Talk about feelings

• Limit multi-tasking and focus on one task at a time

• Reduce caffeine and alcohol.

• Manage effectively musculoskeletal and joint pain.

• Exercise regularly. Adequate physical exercise enhances cognition/memory.

• Train the Brain! "If you don't use it, you will lose it."

• Boost your brain power: Continue to work into retirement (part time), learn new skills, volunteer, engage in social and mentally stimulating activities and establish new friendships and relationships.

• Take your body to the gym and don't forget to visit the "BRAIN SPA" – both will improve brain function.

• Recent scientific data show that longevity is associated with the successful management of chronic diseases, such as Sjögren's syndrome, not the absence of any disease!

Suggested reading: The Memory Bible, by Gary Small, MD, Director of the UCLA Center on Aging, available from the Sjögren's Syndrome Foundation.

For more information on Sjögren's syndrome, visit the SSF Web site at www.sjogrens.org, call 800-475-6473, e-mail [e-mail] or write to the Sjögren's Syndrome Foundation, 6707 Democracy Blvd, Suite 325, Bethesda, MD 20817.

Clinicians: Please make multiple copies of this Patient Education Sheet and distribute to your patients. If you have an idea for a topic or want to author a Patient Education Sheet, contact us at [e-mail].

Patient Education Sheet: Brain Fog

The SSF thanks Elaine Alexander, MD, PhD, clinician and researcher in Sjögren's syndrome, biomedical consultant and Chair-Elect of the SSF Medical and Scientific Advisory Board, San Diego, California, for authoring this Patient Education Sheet.

===

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: 'Small' Strokes
From: wysiwyg
Date: 08 Feb 10 - 11:57 PM

I would add-- to the above handout-- that a person recovering from ANY type or degree of brain injury or illness must trust her/himself no matter how strange things seem to get, and no matter how poorly anyone else understands the circuitous route their re-wiring takes as it heals itself.

I would add that it is helpful if others TRY to understand, but that it is not at all necessary that a single one of them ever DOES.

I would add that for 99.9999999+% of human beans, it is absolutely true that each one knows Which Way Is Up, and instinctively grows in that direction, which will occur under even the most horrific conditions.

And I would add-- I would insist-- that this innate sense of where life lies is deserving of respect, most importantly from ourselves and toward ourselves. Because that innate sense-- and the freedom to move in that upward direction-- are, essentially, human.

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: 'Small' Strokes
From: Lizzie Cornish 1
Date: 09 Feb 10 - 03:31 AM

Beautiful posts in here, Susan.
Thank you.
Lizzie :0)

Subject: RE: BS: 'Small' Strokes
From: wysiwyg
Date: 10 Feb 10 - 12:53 PM

I'm also quite sure that most people who "struggle" with brain issues are surrounded by other people who are ALSO "struggling," and that some people deal with that (their own and/or others)-- and some don't, in a timely fashion that is....

I have a Maxine cartoon that expresses it well-- "Don't make me write in UPPERCASE!"

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: 'Small' Strokes
From: wysiwyg
Date: 15 Feb 10 - 10:28 AM

I feel goals and memories and capabilities shifting again, and feedback from the environment (and peeps) verifies this.

Good thing I grew up handling chaos well, I guess..... I dunno...

~S~