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BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for business

Liz the Squeak 26 Jun 08 - 03:54 PM
Wesley S 26 Jun 08 - 03:55 PM
beardedbruce 26 Jun 08 - 03:56 PM
Rapparee 26 Jun 08 - 04:34 PM
Stilly River Sage 26 Jun 08 - 04:35 PM
ClaireBear 26 Jun 08 - 05:22 PM
Severn 26 Jun 08 - 05:32 PM
Severn 26 Jun 08 - 05:40 PM
Rapparee 26 Jun 08 - 09:21 PM
lady penelope 27 Jun 08 - 06:41 AM
freda underhill 27 Jun 08 - 08:15 AM
MMario 27 Jun 08 - 08:28 AM
Schantieman 27 Jun 08 - 08:31 AM
Rapparee 27 Jun 08 - 09:08 AM
MMario 27 Jun 08 - 09:11 AM
ClaireBear 27 Jun 08 - 09:57 AM
MarkS 27 Jun 08 - 10:40 AM
frogprince 27 Jun 08 - 10:47 AM
MMario 27 Jun 08 - 10:54 AM
lady penelope 27 Jun 08 - 11:01 AM
Rapparee 27 Jun 08 - 01:00 PM
maire-aine 27 Jun 08 - 01:10 PM
ClaireBear 27 Jun 08 - 01:35 PM
MMario 27 Jun 08 - 01:57 PM
ClaireBear 27 Jun 08 - 02:46 PM
Rapparee 27 Jun 08 - 03:25 PM
Amos 27 Jun 08 - 03:41 PM
GUEST,lox 27 Jun 08 - 04:21 PM
Liz the Squeak 27 Jun 08 - 04:40 PM
lady penelope 27 Jun 08 - 04:42 PM
Liz the Squeak 27 Jun 08 - 05:13 PM
Rapparee 27 Jun 08 - 05:18 PM
Stilly River Sage 27 Jun 08 - 06:16 PM
ranger1 27 Jun 08 - 06:30 PM
Janie 27 Jun 08 - 07:00 PM
Liz the Squeak 28 Jun 08 - 06:12 AM
DMcG 28 Jun 08 - 10:05 AM
Stilly River Sage 28 Jun 08 - 10:28 PM
Rapparee 28 Jun 08 - 10:47 PM
Janie 28 Jun 08 - 11:13 PM
Stilly River Sage 29 Jun 08 - 12:59 AM
Rapparee 29 Jun 08 - 01:21 AM
Stilly River Sage 29 Jun 08 - 01:26 AM
Lonesome EJ 29 Jun 08 - 04:14 AM
Liz the Squeak 29 Jun 08 - 05:13 AM
DMcG 29 Jun 08 - 05:34 AM
lady penelope 29 Jun 08 - 11:59 AM
MMario 29 Jun 08 - 12:01 PM
Stilly River Sage 29 Jun 08 - 12:38 PM
Amos 29 Jun 08 - 01:12 PM
Liz the Squeak 29 Jun 08 - 05:15 PM
frogprince 29 Jun 08 - 10:23 PM
Liz the Squeak 30 Jun 08 - 05:37 AM
Liz the Squeak 30 Jun 08 - 06:19 AM
Rapparee 30 Jun 08 - 08:41 AM
Stilly River Sage 30 Jun 08 - 09:41 AM
MMario 30 Jun 08 - 09:46 AM
Amos 30 Jun 08 - 10:13 AM
Severn 30 Jun 08 - 10:37 AM
Stilly River Sage 30 Jun 08 - 10:45 AM
Liz the Squeak 30 Jun 08 - 10:53 AM
Amos 30 Jun 08 - 12:14 PM
SINSULL 30 Jun 08 - 01:04 PM
Rapparee 30 Jun 08 - 01:17 PM
ClaireBear 30 Jun 08 - 01:26 PM
GUEST,LTS trapped by a tentiticle 01 Jul 08 - 08:48 AM
MMario 01 Jul 08 - 08:57 AM
GUEST,LTS climbing out of a giant latex thingy 01 Jul 08 - 08:59 AM
Rapparee 01 Jul 08 - 09:11 AM
MMario 01 Jul 08 - 09:13 AM
Stilly River Sage 01 Jul 08 - 09:59 AM
MMario 01 Jul 08 - 10:02 AM
Severn 01 Jul 08 - 10:14 AM
Amos 01 Jul 08 - 10:30 AM
GUEST,LTS just about to leave work 01 Jul 08 - 10:55 AM
MMario 01 Jul 08 - 11:06 AM
Stilly River Sage 01 Jul 08 - 12:07 PM
lady penelope 01 Jul 08 - 12:09 PM
MMario 01 Jul 08 - 12:29 PM
Rapparee 01 Jul 08 - 12:39 PM
Severn 01 Jul 08 - 12:47 PM
lady penelope 01 Jul 08 - 01:23 PM
Liz the Squeak 01 Jul 08 - 02:01 PM
Severn 01 Jul 08 - 02:03 PM
lady penelope 01 Jul 08 - 03:59 PM
Severn 01 Jul 08 - 04:18 PM
lady penelope 01 Jul 08 - 04:20 PM
Stilly River Sage 01 Jul 08 - 04:33 PM
Severn 01 Jul 08 - 04:47 PM
Amos 01 Jul 08 - 06:34 PM
Liz the Squeak 02 Jul 08 - 07:38 AM
Severn 02 Jul 08 - 08:10 AM
Rapparee 02 Jul 08 - 09:02 AM
Severn 02 Jul 08 - 09:23 AM
Stilly River Sage 02 Jul 08 - 09:47 AM
Amos 02 Jul 08 - 10:46 AM
Severn 02 Jul 08 - 10:50 AM
Rapparee 02 Jul 08 - 11:46 AM
MMario 02 Jul 08 - 11:51 AM
Severn 02 Jul 08 - 12:18 PM
Severn 02 Jul 08 - 12:48 PM
Rapparee 02 Jul 08 - 12:58 PM
GUEST,rAVen kittY 02 Jul 08 - 03:06 PM
Stilly River Sage 02 Jul 08 - 03:33 PM
MMario 02 Jul 08 - 03:35 PM
lady penelope 02 Jul 08 - 03:41 PM
Severn 02 Jul 08 - 04:57 PM
Rapparee 02 Jul 08 - 10:03 PM
Liz the Squeak 03 Jul 08 - 01:01 AM
Severn 03 Jul 08 - 07:58 AM
lady penelope 03 Jul 08 - 08:29 AM
Rapparee 03 Jul 08 - 08:35 AM
Severn 03 Jul 08 - 09:10 AM
Severn 03 Jul 08 - 09:18 AM
Rapparee 03 Jul 08 - 02:14 PM
Severn 03 Jul 08 - 02:37 PM
Severn 03 Jul 08 - 04:17 PM
Rapparee 03 Jul 08 - 04:34 PM
Liz the Squeak 03 Jul 08 - 04:39 PM
beardedbruce 03 Jul 08 - 04:43 PM
Rapparee 03 Jul 08 - 05:17 PM
Severn 03 Jul 08 - 05:50 PM
Rapparee 03 Jul 08 - 06:54 PM
Stilly River Sage 03 Jul 08 - 07:19 PM
Severn 03 Jul 08 - 08:44 PM
frogprince 03 Jul 08 - 09:24 PM
frogprince 03 Jul 08 - 09:27 PM
Rapparee 03 Jul 08 - 09:29 PM
Severn 03 Jul 08 - 10:52 PM
Stilly River Sage 03 Jul 08 - 11:54 PM
frogprince 04 Jul 08 - 12:15 AM
Severn 04 Jul 08 - 04:48 AM
gnu 04 Jul 08 - 04:54 AM
GUEST,LTS pretending to work 04 Jul 08 - 05:16 AM
Severn 04 Jul 08 - 05:20 AM
Severn 04 Jul 08 - 05:29 AM
gnu 04 Jul 08 - 06:41 AM
MMario 04 Jul 08 - 06:57 AM
Severn 04 Jul 08 - 08:00 AM
gnu 04 Jul 08 - 08:41 AM
Rapparee 04 Jul 08 - 01:59 PM
lady penelope 04 Jul 08 - 04:16 PM
Liz the Squeak 06 Jul 08 - 02:11 AM
Severn 06 Jul 08 - 10:20 AM
SINSULL 06 Jul 08 - 11:11 AM
Severn 06 Jul 08 - 12:48 PM
lady penelope 06 Jul 08 - 01:18 PM
Severn 06 Jul 08 - 01:48 PM
gnu 06 Jul 08 - 01:58 PM
Severn 06 Jul 08 - 02:03 PM
Rapparee 06 Jul 08 - 11:34 PM
Liz the Squeak 07 Jul 08 - 03:23 AM
Severn 07 Jul 08 - 11:37 AM
Liz the Squeak 08 Jul 08 - 04:12 AM
lady penelope 08 Jul 08 - 07:11 AM
Liz the Squeak 08 Jul 08 - 07:40 AM
SINSULL 08 Jul 08 - 07:59 AM
lady penelope 08 Jul 08 - 08:19 AM
Severn 08 Jul 08 - 08:41 AM
freda underhill 08 Jul 08 - 08:46 AM
Severn 08 Jul 08 - 08:58 AM
Rapparee 08 Jul 08 - 09:10 AM
SINSULL 08 Jul 08 - 09:56 AM
lady penelope 08 Jul 08 - 11:20 AM
Rapparee 08 Jul 08 - 11:35 AM
Liz the Squeak 08 Jul 08 - 01:43 PM
beardedbruce 08 Jul 08 - 01:50 PM
beardedbruce 08 Jul 08 - 01:56 PM
beardedbruce 08 Jul 08 - 02:16 PM
Liz the Squeak 08 Jul 08 - 05:45 PM
beardedbruce 08 Jul 08 - 05:49 PM
beardedbruce 08 Jul 08 - 05:50 PM
Rapparee 09 Jul 08 - 11:16 AM
SINSULL 09 Jul 08 - 02:00 PM
beardedbruce 09 Jul 08 - 02:10 PM
Liz the Squeak 09 Jul 08 - 02:32 PM
Liz the Squeak 10 Jul 08 - 07:09 AM
Rapparee 10 Jul 08 - 09:26 AM
Severn 10 Jul 08 - 09:39 AM
lady penelope 10 Jul 08 - 10:08 AM
Severn 10 Jul 08 - 10:19 AM
Rapparee 10 Jul 08 - 11:29 AM
Severn 10 Jul 08 - 11:53 AM
SINSULL 10 Jul 08 - 12:06 PM
Rapparee 10 Jul 08 - 12:08 PM
Liz the Squeak 10 Jul 08 - 05:50 PM
Severn 11 Jul 08 - 01:56 PM
Liz the Squeak 11 Jul 08 - 05:09 PM
Rapparee 11 Jul 08 - 06:24 PM
Liz the Squeak 12 Jul 08 - 06:14 AM
beardedbruce 15 Jul 08 - 09:25 AM
Rapparee 15 Jul 08 - 09:34 AM
Liz the Squeak 15 Jul 08 - 12:27 PM
maeve 15 Jul 08 - 12:40 PM
Megan L 15 Jul 08 - 01:25 PM
beardedbruce 15 Jul 08 - 01:32 PM
SINSULL 15 Jul 08 - 02:33 PM
Liz the Squeak 15 Jul 08 - 03:03 PM
Rapparee 15 Jul 08 - 03:06 PM
beardedbruce 15 Jul 08 - 03:06 PM
Liz the Squeak 15 Jul 08 - 03:09 PM
beardedbruce 15 Jul 08 - 03:12 PM
beardedbruce 15 Jul 08 - 03:28 PM
Liz the Squeak 15 Jul 08 - 04:19 PM
Severn 15 Jul 08 - 04:56 PM
Severn 15 Jul 08 - 05:00 PM
beardedbruce 18 Jul 08 - 10:24 AM
GUEST,beardedbruce 24 Jul 08 - 08:10 AM
Liz the Squeak 24 Jul 08 - 09:40 AM
MudGuard 24 Jul 08 - 09:44 AM
SINSULL 24 Jul 08 - 10:23 AM
Severn 25 Jul 08 - 10:37 AM
Liz the Squeak 25 Jul 08 - 04:16 PM
open mike 25 Jul 08 - 09:37 PM
Severn 28 Jul 08 - 09:09 AM
SINSULL 28 Jul 08 - 09:34 AM
lady penelope 28 Jul 08 - 10:23 AM
GUEST,LTS pretending to work 28 Jul 08 - 10:46 AM
beardedbruce 07 Aug 08 - 12:26 PM
Severn 07 Aug 08 - 01:59 PM
Liz the Squeak 07 Aug 08 - 05:13 PM
Severn 07 Aug 08 - 05:57 PM
Liz the Squeak 08 Aug 08 - 04:24 PM
Severn 08 Aug 08 - 05:59 PM
Liz the Squeak 09 Aug 08 - 10:08 AM
lady penelope 09 Aug 08 - 11:16 AM
Severn 09 Aug 08 - 12:40 PM
Liz the Squeak 09 Aug 08 - 06:18 PM
Liz the Squeak 10 Aug 08 - 06:05 PM
Severn 10 Aug 08 - 08:17 PM
frogprince 10 Aug 08 - 09:46 PM
frogprince 10 Aug 08 - 09:57 PM
MAG 11 Aug 08 - 02:41 AM
Liz the Squeak 11 Aug 08 - 03:26 AM
Severn 11 Aug 08 - 09:20 AM
Liz the Squeak 11 Aug 08 - 12:04 PM
MAG 11 Aug 08 - 01:55 PM
lady penelope 11 Aug 08 - 05:04 PM
Liz the Squeak 11 Aug 08 - 05:06 PM
lady penelope 12 Aug 08 - 02:38 AM
Liz the Squeak 12 Aug 08 - 04:31 AM
Severn 12 Aug 08 - 10:18 AM
beardedbruce 12 Aug 08 - 10:20 AM
Les from Hull 12 Aug 08 - 10:23 AM
Severn 12 Aug 08 - 10:37 AM
SINSULL 12 Aug 08 - 12:56 PM
Liz the Squeak 12 Aug 08 - 07:19 PM
Susan A-R 13 Aug 08 - 03:44 PM
lady penelope 14 Aug 08 - 09:17 AM
Tinker 14 Aug 08 - 09:57 AM
lady penelope 14 Aug 08 - 11:25 AM
Susan A-R 14 Aug 08 - 02:39 PM
Susan A-R 14 Aug 08 - 02:40 PM
gnu 14 Aug 08 - 03:24 PM
Liz the Squeak 14 Aug 08 - 05:49 PM
Susan A-R 14 Aug 08 - 10:25 PM
Stilly River Sage 14 Aug 08 - 11:08 PM
Liz the Squeak 15 Aug 08 - 05:32 AM
lady penelope 15 Aug 08 - 06:37 AM
Liz the Squeak 15 Aug 08 - 08:17 AM
Severn 15 Aug 08 - 09:50 AM
lady penelope 15 Aug 08 - 05:10 PM
Liz the Squeak 15 Aug 08 - 06:24 PM
Severn 15 Aug 08 - 07:07 PM
lady penelope 16 Aug 08 - 01:01 PM

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Subject: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 26 Jun 08 - 03:54 PM

Well chaps, Midsummer is here, Solstice greetings to all, it's downhill from now on and less than 6 months til Christmas!

Pull up a cane chair, pour me a Long Island Iced tea, put the AC on high and light the mosquito repelling candle...

Here in the UK we're still waiting for the long hot evenings, although it's still pretty light up til 9.30-10.00pm, it's been a bit breezy for sitting out in the evening.

So open up the big shutters on the side of the Tavern and let's get those sunsets going!

LTS


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: Wesley S
Date: 26 Jun 08 - 03:55 PM

I'll be the designated driver.......


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: beardedbruce
Date: 26 Jun 08 - 03:56 PM

Where's the crocodile?

thread.cfm?threadid=112318&messages=2


Nice sunset!


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Jun 08 - 04:34 PM

In he saunters, an American, dripping with guns: .45s, .38s, .32s, .44s, .357s, .22s, .36s, .17s, 9mms, 7.65mms, 7.62x39Rs, 7.62x54NATOs, .303s,, 5.56mms, .50s, a blunderbuss, two matchlocks, four wheellocks, a snaphance, a handgonne, a sixteen-pounder, a brass Napoleon, a Parrott rifle, five Krag-Jorgensons, a trapdoor Springfield, three copies of Beecher's Bible, and a whole lot of other crap.

"Excuse me," he politely says to the barman, "but would you have some place I can dump all this crap? It's okay, I never carry any ammunition. And I'd like some lemonade straight up."


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for business
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 26 Jun 08 - 04:35 PM

If you'll take a look out the Texas side of the establishment you'll see the evenings aren't getting below about 80 (means the tomatoes have to be pollinated artificially now). I walked around the outside of the building spraying my garlic tea, so the mosquitoes will vamoose for the time being, and it will smell like a fine Italian restaurant.

Does someone have one of those big ol' porch glider-type of swings? That would be nice out on the porch.


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: ClaireBear
Date: 26 Jun 08 - 05:22 PM

And the spectacular sunsets are on the California side, mostly due to the quantity of wildfire smoke in the air. Blazing, lurid, red-orange sunsets they are...but look at 'em through the windoiw, don't sit outside; the air out there is foul!

Rapaire, didja bring any Moose Drool?


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: Severn
Date: 26 Jun 08 - 05:32 PM

A change from the traditional crocks of the usual stuff, Bruce. It'll be here "after a while", as Bill Haley or Bobby Charles would say.

In the meantime, we can practice somging "Camping In Cayman Land" along with Reno & Smiley (or Harrell) and hold a contest to finish a joke starting with:

"Now, this crocodile comes into a bar and says to the bartender......"

....and the one who comes closest to what the crocodile actually says when he or she finally gets here gets a prize yet to be decided on.

That way, the Giant Squid might have an easier time of it this year. I've heard he's coming, so forewarned is ten-armed. And, for once, Rapaire will make sure that someone ("The American") will even have more arms than the squid. Even Wyatt or Wild Bill didn't bring that much iron into a saloon.


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: Severn
Date: 26 Jun 08 - 05:40 PM

Make that,"practice singing". I didn't mean to cast a misspell on you people. I'll leave that to whoever wanders back with "the wand".


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Jun 08 - 09:21 PM

Ain't none of that ironmongery that works; it's all welded shut and the barrels plugged. I'm just haulin' it off to a metal sculptor who wants to melt it down.

Moose Drool? Certainly, m'dear. Now that I've had my lemonade it's time to Drool.


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: lady penelope
Date: 27 Jun 08 - 06:41 AM

Well if we're going to do this, let's do it right....

Ok, I want these lace edged table cloths put out on the tables and I've some proper teapots and cups for the iced tea, let's clear out the moose droppings and that jello pit needs a change of jello. Come on, shake a leg, don't make me get all Mary Poppins on you....!

I've got a couple of jugs of pimms made up and ready to go. That'll do for you lot.... (What??? I don't like pimms!)


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: freda underhill
Date: 27 Jun 08 - 08:15 AM

It's a cool winter dusk, looking out the estern window across Rushcutter's bay to Sydney harbour. I see a sheet of pale blue sky, sparkling city lights, dozens of white boats bobbing in the bay, and dark buildings rising up against the skyline.

aaah, a sip of a cool drink, and the sounds of a guitar picking out "Four Little Johnny Cakes.."

under the table, a blue cattle dog named fred hums along..


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: MMario
Date: 27 Jun 08 - 08:28 AM

Ask fred if he knows 'I ride an old paint'

Too warm to cook; but there's a selection of cold salads and cold cuts on the sideboard. Serviche, sushi and sashimi are back in the cooler.


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: Schantieman
Date: 27 Jun 08 - 08:31 AM

Lady P!!!!

How can you not like Pimm's?

How can ANYONE not like Pimm's? Even better than G & T

Steve
(in Liverpool, the California of England. Well, we've got the sun setting over the sea, anyway. Not that we can see it at the moment......


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Jun 08 - 09:08 AM

More Moose Drool, por favor. Iffen yer out I'll have some Bitch Creek.


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: MMario
Date: 27 Jun 08 - 09:11 AM

We're out of the room temp Moose Drool in the open jugs. Have a couple of chilled bottles...Will those do?


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: ClaireBear
Date: 27 Jun 08 - 09:57 AM

The grill is heating up outside, and the applewood chips are soaking.

I've got a big bowl of Woody's Cook-In' Sauce here to marinate stuff in. I'm doing catfish, corn, and a couple of gallimimus haunches I found in the freezer out back. Anyone else have something for the grill?

Ahhh! That Moose Drool is the best.


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: MarkS
Date: 27 Jun 08 - 10:40 AM

Silly River Sage

That garlic tea of yours sounds like a great idea.
Would you post your recipe?


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: frogprince
Date: 27 Jun 08 - 10:47 AM

"lace edged table clothes" ?? Maybe I've never suspected how much difference there is in the connotations of the word "tavern" on either side of the pond. : )


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: MMario
Date: 27 Jun 08 - 10:54 AM

That's just Lady P; but every time she insist on the lace edge tablecloths the Giant Squid cly fakes 'em for wipes.


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: lady penelope
Date: 27 Jun 08 - 11:01 AM

Schantieman!! Wash your mouth out!!! Pimms better than a G&T?!?!? You can't seriously believe that I, the only currently serving Gin Fairy Acolyte, can possibly promite that kind of idea?!?!?


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Jun 08 - 01:00 PM

I want some of that 18th Century London gin...the stuff they were drinking when they posed for Hogarth.


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: maire-aine
Date: 27 Jun 08 - 01:10 PM

I'll take a gin and Schweppes bitter lemon, with lots of ice, please. Now if I can find a spot where there's just a bit of a breeze. Hello, there.

Maryanne


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: ClaireBear
Date: 27 Jun 08 - 01:35 PM

What a good idea! The Moose Drool is about gone, anyway.

I don't suppose there's any Schweppes Bitter Orange, is there? Maybe in the Way-Back fridge...you know, the one next to the freezer where I got the gallimimus, and where I think last year's aurochs came from?


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: MMario
Date: 27 Jun 08 - 01:57 PM

Let's see what we have. Bitter Lemon, Bitter Melon, Bitter Lime, Bitter Strawberry. . . ???????

What a minute, sorry - the last two are SCHLEPPES, not SCHWEPPES.   Sorry.....

*rummages around some more*

A-HA! Found a bottle - bit dusty though...does Schewppes have a "best by" date?


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: ClaireBear
Date: 27 Jun 08 - 02:46 PM

Doesn't matter; in the Wayback Fridge whatever is in there is good forever.

Aaahhhhh! Schweppervescence!

Hmmm, I wonder what else is in there?


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Jun 08 - 03:25 PM

You might not want to know....

More Moose Drool, si vous plait.


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: Amos
Date: 27 Jun 08 - 03:41 PM

The west batwing doors swing apart, slammed to their limit by the nose of a huge 1939 Indian motorcycle in full roar, taking a flying leap up from the hearthstone and landing with a graceful, squealing, 270-degree skid which brings it up alongside the jello pool neatly lined up at the edge. A towering, lanky Stranger with a three-day growth of beard slaps the kickstand down with his foot, shuts down the throbbing engine, and swings off the saddle, pausing to unstrap a glistening 1967 Dreadnought from its case. He is wearing a floppy, tawny Stetson that has seen too many miles of road, a kidney-belt decorated with dozens of precious stones, tight jeans, a chamois Wetsern shirt with leather ties, and a long dustjacket, which he pulls off and leaves hanging over the bike's handlebars.

Well, I need a break. There's no sign of thatgal high or low, East or West, near or far. I been through three sets of rings, two brake jobs, eleven tires and about 1300 tanks of fuel. Dang me, I am tired of this shit, of that there is no mistake, I tell ya.

Hey barkeep, ya got any fine dark stuff in that cooler? A quart glass, if you don't mind, with my thanks. Dusty road, long, long, long. Damn. Good stuff. Just charge it to the Reg brothers, wouldja? Pat says its okay. Thanks....


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: GUEST,lox
Date: 27 Jun 08 - 04:21 PM

Dishevelled stranger stumbles in with a battered hat, dirty clothes and a parched throat.

He staggers up to the bar and bangs an empty pewter mug down, rasping at the barman ...

"... A gallon of meade to slake my thirst and soothe my head ..."

"... my daughters best friend is having a sleep over at my house tomight and I have decided I would rather a little pugilistic frivolity with mike tyson ... anyone know where he is? ..."


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 27 Jun 08 - 04:40 PM

I may have to be prised off that 1939 Indian with a crowbar and a jar of vaseline....

One of my all time favourite bikes, even when driven by an incontinent Anthony Hopkins (The World's Fastest Indian).

LTS


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: lady penelope
Date: 27 Jun 08 - 04:42 PM

Rapaire, as I type I am drinking the only London Dry Gin to still be made in London...


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 27 Jun 08 - 05:13 PM

And there's me with me bottle of tap water.... something is definately wrong here....


LTS


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Jun 08 - 05:18 PM

Well, okay, I'd like some Indian Whiskey then, please. And don't stint on the strychnine!


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 27 Jun 08 - 06:16 PM

Sage swings her feet down from the porch glider and heads into the tavern to see what all the noise is about. She sees at least four squid tentacles slowly emerge from the jello pit and begin probing and fondling the Indian motorcycle. Something tells me he parked a l-i-t-t-l-e too close to the jello pit, she thinks to herself.


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: ranger1
Date: 27 Jun 08 - 06:30 PM

The little Ranger wanders in, covered in grease and hydraulic fluid, after a day of dealing with crisis after crisis (of course it's the manager's day off!).

"A nice cold bottle of decent beer, please."


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: Janie
Date: 27 Jun 08 - 07:00 PM

Hi ya'll! Can't stay - I'm packing boxes tonight and gotta start painting this weekend.   Anybody interested in helping paint for a little beer money?

What's that, lox? No. You'll get the money After you're done painting. Gotta run. Just show up tomorrow if you're interested.

Those near the door hear the old Merc Sable as the engine fires, the sound of tires on gravel, and then, "Oh crap."

Uhmmm. Awfully sorry to whoever belonged to that little crocodile out in the parking lot. Now I know what that bump was when I pulled in. Sorry....really.....it might not be dead yet, if you want to check.

Welllll. Bye!


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 28 Jun 08 - 06:12 AM

I'll come and help paint, but you'll have to get me off this Indian bike first.. and tell that squid that where his #5 tentacle is, is NOT where the camshaft goes.

LTS


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: DMcG
Date: 28 Jun 08 - 10:05 AM

All I want is a proper cup of coffee
Made in a proper, copper coffee pot.


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 28 Jun 08 - 10:28 PM

"Proper" and "Mudcat Tavern" don't go together in this particular venue, mate! Have a beer instead! One Moose Drool for the newcomer!


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Jun 08 - 10:47 PM

How about a Dead Guy?


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: Janie
Date: 28 Jun 08 - 11:13 PM

Jeez, none of you showed up. Must be a well-heeled crowd. After spending the day ignorantly reinventing the wheel when it comes to painting, and not accomplishing much, I'm ready for a long, cold Moose Drool! Shove it on down the bar, and keep them coming, friend.

Hope I can move when the alarm goes off in the morning.


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 29 Jun 08 - 12:59 AM

At least you can move far enough to smash the alarm and go back to sleep. :)

Well, I listed a dulcimer at eBay this evening (I'm keeping the better one). What's a good drink and salute combo to wish it well in it's new home (and wish for a high final bid!)?


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Jun 08 - 01:21 AM

I was just awakened by an explosion and I guess I thought I was back on the DMZ.

Knob Creek, please. Straight up. A lot of it.


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for business
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 29 Jun 08 - 01:26 AM

How's the leg, Rap? Limping at all, or are you managing to keep a steady supply of liquid refreshment going to keep it comfortable? Stay away from the jello pit and watch out for the squid, I've heard he's as bad as our old cat and will pick off any band-aids or bandages he notices.


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 29 Jun 08 - 04:14 AM

Wow. Glad to see the old place still open. Hoppin, in fact!
I'll have a cold bottle of Sol, and a banana daiquiri for my monkey, please.


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 29 Jun 08 - 05:13 AM

I feel a bout of retail therapy coming... anyone else want to join me in the craft store? We can buy stuff to make lace doilies for the tables and pretty embroidered tops for the jam (jelly) jars and then we can go to the gun store and buy something to shoot whosever idea it was to put frilly tablecloths on the tables in the roughest tavern on the 'Net.

LTS


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: DMcG
Date: 29 Jun 08 - 05:34 AM

(drunkenly)
I never drink Moose Drool, 'cos Mouse Drool has froth
And one little sip turns a saint to a Goth
Can you imagine the utter disgrace
Of lying in the gutter with a moose on your face?


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: lady penelope
Date: 29 Jun 08 - 11:59 AM

Are you offering me violence Liz? *G* I dunno, some people have no sense of humour...

As for retail therapy, the nearest I'm getting to that is going out for some spare guy ropes and sprung toggles to finish making the firepit cover (no, not in gigham....) and possibly a rucksack that I can use for 'carry on' luggage.

Mmmm....I feel the call of the cider barrel.....


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: MMario
Date: 29 Jun 08 - 12:01 PM

Of course not in gingham; a firepit cover properly should be in tuile.


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for business
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 29 Jun 08 - 12:38 PM

How about some throw(up) rugs from Dollar General Store? Toss 'em straight into the washer when they've caught the flavor of the hour, so to speak. . .


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: Amos
Date: 29 Jun 08 - 01:12 PM

THe stranger finishes an energetic rendition of "Big Ball in Boston", a miusical seine into which he has fortunately drawn a rambling mandolinist and a passing banjoist, and they close the tune with a flourish of wild unfettered bluegrass licks. He calmly puts the dreadnaught down in a safe place and walks over the the cooling INdian, and peels the tentacles back from the shiny cylinders. He walks them back to the jello pit and slops them onto the head of the giant squid and speaks softly but firmly to the Squid in his native language. The squid promises to behave and keep his hands off the motorcycle.

Terrific versification, McG!!

Hey keep, have you got a Fat Bastard back there?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 29 Jun 08 - 05:15 PM

"wild unfettered licks" - now that's MY kind of party.... let me just get me latex accoutrements....


LTS


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: frogprince
Date: 29 Jun 08 - 10:23 PM

For cryin' out loud, Liz, that's guitar licks! Sheesh, these young people nowadays...


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 30 Jun 08 - 05:37 AM

Hey, I'm broad minded - I'll lick all sorts of things.

LTS


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 30 Jun 08 - 06:19 AM

Except the squid.... I'm not THAT broad minded.

LTS


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Jun 08 - 08:41 AM

Pardon me, good sir, but I have a Tea to attend today. In preparation thereof I would greatly appreciate a Fog Cutter with a poteen chaser.

Thank you.


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for business
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 30 Jun 08 - 09:41 AM

Say, I have some leftover garlic pepper tea in my fridge if someone would like to try a really unique summer drink. It's pretty strong, 1/4 cup to a gallon of water in the sprayer (to discourage bugs from eating my peppers and eggplant and tomatoes and squash) but here at the Mudcat someone might find a good use. Maybe toss some in the next batch of marinade if we have auroch on the menu again?

Is there someone cooking here this week?

Hello?

Anyone?

I hear footsteps, but no one is answering. . . it was just a thought . . .


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: MMario
Date: 30 Jun 08 - 09:46 AM

Lessee - a shot of the garlic/pepper tea, some tequila, a shot of Woody's sauce; some tequila, couple scoops of crushed ice, a little tequila....., top off with tomato juice, shake, pour; float a little pepper vodka across the top, toss in a celery stick.

The MudCatTavern Mary!


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: Amos
Date: 30 Jun 08 - 10:13 AM

That guy on the motorcycle has extraordinarily good taste. I'll have a Fat Bastard too.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: Severn
Date: 30 Jun 08 - 10:37 AM

A Hanson's Diet Black Cherry Soda, please. Diabetes has set in since last year. But at least the cancer's gone. Unless you have something better I could try.....

So, yes, I'm another designated driver or one to make supply runs, as needed. It's hell watching other people drink, but I gotta go where the music and friends abound.

He watches as Lady Penelope looks underneath to see if those actually ARE guy ropes on the firepit cover.

Meanwhile the long line for the Ladies Room is getting impatient while Liz dons her Latex. "She still thinks she owns the place!", somebody mutters.....

And no, Liz, you wouldn't want your tongue semi-permanently attached to a squid tenticle sucker. Jimmyt's the only doc we have here to remove it, and he's only a dentist.


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 30 Jun 08 - 10:45 AM

I wonder if she's stuck in there again. Ladies, head around and use the men's loo, like usual, when this happens.


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 30 Jun 08 - 10:53 AM

Look, I'm the one who opens this place up mostly, I can take as long as I bloodywell like in the Ladies... I'm usually bloody locked in here anyway...

There's only one finger on this latex glove, and that's a funny shape....

What the........?

That's a................

Oh my g..................























Eeeeeeeeeeuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!

Right that's it.... I need a Blue Nose and I need it NOW!!! (That's 2 measures of vodka, 2 measures of Blue Curacao over ice in a hiball, topped with 7Up). Leave the 7Up out of the first batch.....

LTS covered with talcum powder


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: Amos
Date: 30 Jun 08 - 12:14 PM

Whoa, Liz, you got a Full Body model!! Awesome!! I didn't think the Ramses people had released those to the public yet!!!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: SINSULL
Date: 30 Jun 08 - 01:04 PM

I thought Pimm's were cookies...


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Jun 08 - 01:17 PM

I thought Liz was...a giant...dressed up for Hallowe'en. But the squid still seems to like her, going by the tentacle working its way up the latex...skirt.


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: ClaireBear
Date: 30 Jun 08 - 01:26 PM

Sorry Stilly, I was doing my vocal warmups outside by the grill and didn't hear you asking about cooking. Yes, I've got the fire going and some applewood chips soaking.

Is there something you'd like to throw on the grill? We already have some auroch going, and I'm also doing a haunch of gallimimus in Woody's. I found it (the gallimimus, not the Woody's) in the WayBack Fridge on the porch. All kinds of interesting stuff in there...

I'm also doing some salmon I've been marinating; that's what the applewood is for. It'll go on as soon as he fire's low enough.


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: GUEST,LTS trapped by a tentiticle
Date: 01 Jul 08 - 08:48 AM

If that squid thinks it's going any further, it had better think again. I've got my anti-squid pants on.

Any joy on those Johnny cakes, I'm starving in here!

LTS


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: MMario
Date: 01 Jul 08 - 08:57 AM

I've got some fresh yokemberry muffins, hot from the oven. will those do?


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: GUEST,LTS climbing out of a giant latex thingy
Date: 01 Jul 08 - 08:59 AM

Don't know what a yokemberry is, but I'm up for it.

LTS


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Jul 08 - 09:11 AM

So, apparently, is the squid.


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: MMario
Date: 01 Jul 08 - 09:13 AM

I'm sorry - that should have read "yokumberry" -- there's plenty - it seems like only the women are eating them.


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 01 Jul 08 - 09:59 AM

Just for the novelty of it, I'll put some country style pork ribs (no bones) on. Seems a long time since we've eaten a land animal extant on the planet today. (But no denying, that WayBack fridge is a smart addition to the Tavern!)


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: MMario
Date: 01 Jul 08 - 10:02 AM

It avoids problems with PETA when you can show the animals you are consuming have been extinct for eons. Statute of limitations has expired.


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: Severn
Date: 01 Jul 08 - 10:14 AM

Liz manages to get away from the amourous squid and, panting, points to the bottom of her shoes. "Non-Squid treads!", she gasps squeakily...

The squid slips back into the Jell-o pit in a fit of Jell-o-sy while the band plays "Jell-o, Young Lovers, Wherever You Are".

"Who IS the house band this year?", Severn wonders, amidst other of Severn's wonders of the world....

I see you have plenty of green Jell-o left since the Mudcat recovery room cafeteria shut down......

The squid and the Jell-o have something in common. They seem to have thrown away the mold afterwards.

.....I hope it doesn't grow back.

"Try that again and I'll cut off one of your limbs, throw it into a bowl and make a Sucker Punch!", snarls Liz, who has regained her breath.

The line at the Ladies Room moves smoothly and orderly......


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: Amos
Date: 01 Jul 08 - 10:30 AM

Severn puns for seven ladies....sucker punch, indeed!! I wonder how you keep your frenetic morpheme-shuffling machine running at such a hectic pace!!!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: GUEST,LTS just about to leave work
Date: 01 Jul 08 - 10:55 AM

Mercy, please, for the love of the deities, mercy!!!

LTS


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: MMario
Date: 01 Jul 08 - 11:06 AM

Koala Tea?


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 01 Jul 08 - 12:07 PM

Imagine an emoticon banging its head on a desk. . .


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: lady penelope
Date: 01 Jul 08 - 12:09 PM

I dunno, you leave the place for five minutes.....

Well, it's official, it's too hot out there. I know it's only a piffling 27 degrees celcius, but I'm simply not built for heat and sunshine... Oooh, I think a very long cuban rum and coke is the order of the day....

On the plus side, my tomatoes are coming on a treat!


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: MMario
Date: 01 Jul 08 - 12:29 PM

My cousin Stavros says you've got some nice melons, too.


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Jul 08 - 12:39 PM

He looks over the pile of unusable armament he brought in and decides it isn't worth carting it over to the foundry for the metal sculptor. Besides, it's been done before.

"Screw it," he thinks kicks the whole mess into the jell-o pit.

327 kilograms of steel makes quite a splash, and he helps himself to another Moose Drool.


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: Severn
Date: 01 Jul 08 - 12:47 PM

Look what just cayman!.....

"What'll we do with this little crocodile from the parking lot?", someone calls out as they come in the door. "Anyone have any recipes or a croc pot? Any leather crafters among us? WAIT! I think it's still breathing...." They drop the critter and hurridly step back...

"Give it a shot of something to revive it!", says someone.

"Just give it water for now and see if it recovers. I've got money riding on what it will ask the bartender for", says another......



....."Well", thinks Severn, "at least we won't have to deal with that tango-dancing caterpillar from last winter. By now, it's probably turned into....."

"MOTH-ER OF GOD!", he shouts as something flies in another door. "It's heading for the chandalier!".........


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: lady penelope
Date: 01 Jul 08 - 01:23 PM

Why thank you Mmario (she says as she playfully batters him round the head....)

327 kilos of steel... that's awfully precise Rapaire....

No, it's all too much like thinking... Another pint of Gibsons please Bar Keep!


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 01 Jul 08 - 02:01 PM

Kar Beep!!! Bring me anthoner wunna them Lo Hiland dice tees... I hef to go to kwire practis an the squuuuuidd is holdling me back.

LTS


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: Severn
Date: 01 Jul 08 - 02:03 PM

"It CAN'T be a moth! Moths don't get THAT big!"


"Then it's one humongeous mean moth-er-faker!"


"Why don't you know? That's...."


Oh, NO! Not......BEHE-MOTH!"


Oh, yes, That moth be he!


"Luckily, it's summer and nobody's wearing wool!"


"Last year he was a caterpillar who liked to dance. Maybe he's just looking for a Moth Ball....."


"Quick! To the Camphor-Van! Do ANY of those things still shoot, Rapaire?"


"Don't hurt him, maybe he'll see the light!"


"That's what we're afraid of!"...........


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: lady penelope
Date: 01 Jul 08 - 03:59 PM

I'm not nearly drunk enough for these puns.... Pass the bucket...


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: Severn
Date: 01 Jul 08 - 04:18 PM

One for you to empty or one for you to fill, Lady P? There WILL be more! I promise!.....


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: lady penelope
Date: 01 Jul 08 - 04:20 PM

Either, both, it's an undecided feeling.....


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 01 Jul 08 - 04:33 PM

groan . . .

Who let that Moth-er-plucker in here, anyway? Where's the duct tape, maybe we can modify his hands so he can't type. . . I know--tape him to the hog!

No, not the ribs, the Harley. . .


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: Severn
Date: 01 Jul 08 - 04:47 PM

Liz, will there be an inquiry about how you spent too much time at the inn and not enough in choiry? Are you sober enough to meet re:choirments? How far up the leg will you have to show them the sucker marks for them to believe you?

Be careful getting there and back!


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: Amos
Date: 01 Jul 08 - 06:34 PM

Every one known the compassionate Kiwi's favorite drink is made with lumps of mashed lime, floating around like so much citrine fur in the bowl. The Koala Tea of mercy is not strained. If you make it up in the lavatory, it'll be just the sucker bowl for the sucker punch, properly laced with moonshine so it becomes high Koala Tea indeed.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 02 Jul 08 - 07:38 AM

I can't cope with this any more.... I need a new brain!

LTS


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: Severn
Date: 02 Jul 08 - 08:10 AM

There happens to be a yellow brick road leading from one of the doors on the West side. Liz is not sure where it leads, but she feels she may be able to find a new brain at the end of it.

....So Liz and the kitty Raven, who has decided that that it's finally met a moth too big to chase, go skipping down this thoroughfare singing:


Coupla bricks short of a load,
Coupla bricks short of a load,
Coupla, coupla, coupla, coupla.
Coupla bricks short of a load....


...which is what Dorothy would have sung had SHE needed the brain but was somehow still able to think of it. Liz may only be goldbricking, but if so, it still instinctively seems the proper path to follow.

I'm sure she'll be back soon, and better for the journey, with a few colorful stories and maybe some new ethnic sings from Wherever for the evening singaround.

The alternative being a lustful squid in a pit of green Jell-o, The Wizard Of Ooze just doesn't cut it. The walk should at least sober her up a bit.

"Happy Trails, Liz!' we all call out.

"....And your little cat Raven, too!" somebody cackles!

Meanwhile a betting pool has already sprung up over how long she'll be gone.......


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Jul 08 - 09:02 AM

He reaches for the Flit gun, ready and willing to commit insecticide. "You shoulda kept yer moth shet, ya bugger. Now y'wool get it good. Ya shoulda stayed a like ya was, there in the church, an in sect chorus line."


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: Severn
Date: 02 Jul 08 - 09:23 AM

The water seems to refresh the ailing reptile, who jumps up, says "See you later!" and leaves through the alley gate.

Hmmmmmmmmmm.....

Maybe it WASN'T a crocodile after all!


Since nothing was said to the bartender, the rest of the heavy betting crowd's interest shifts to get into the action in the pool for the return time of Liz.......


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 02 Jul 08 - 09:47 AM

Someone discreetly pushes the muzzle of Rapaire's big old fashioned gun, whatever he's packing this time, away from Severn's head where it was pointed, but Rap quietly wrestles it around and they compromise in aiming the thing at Severn's lap. . .


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: Amos
Date: 02 Jul 08 - 10:46 AM

Did anyone say g'bye to that dastardly alley-gater? I only ask because Rapaire is driving Severns nuts...


A


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: Severn
Date: 02 Jul 08 - 10:50 AM

Severn takes a sage brush and briskly whisks Stilly aside, but Rapaire poses another problem altogether! It still looks like he's carrying the Flit gun, as in his last post, but insecticide is not the way I'd choose to bugger off from this world. Uh, oh!

All of a sudden comes deus-ex-machina for Severn as Rapaire's original target, Behe-moth swoops down and grabs Rapaire and flies back up towards the brightly glowing chandelier with Rapaire firing away at his attacker in one magnificent aerial battle royal.

"Quick! Somebody grab a net, (or at least her beach blanket)!" yells Severn and the rescue crew runs around in silly Mack Sennet circles under the ongoing battle above.

"Whew! I wrote myself out of THAT one!", thinks severn, "But for how long?", as he runs around holding one corner of the blanket.......


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Jul 08 - 11:46 AM

Dropping the flit gun and grabbing the chandelier, he thinks, "Boy, am I glad I've been fencing! I know all the neat-o sword fighting moves now, like swinging on a chandelier! Wish I'd worn pants instead of a kilt, though. The ladies below are excited enough as it is."

And letting go at the end of the pendulous arc, he tucks himself into a forward tuck and lands lightly on his feet on the top of the champagne glasses, breaking none of them in his glorious dismount and acknowledging the thunderous applause of the on-lookers.


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: MMario
Date: 02 Jul 08 - 11:51 AM

Listen! It's the sound of one hand clapping!


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: Severn
Date: 02 Jul 08 - 12:18 PM

"One Hundred!, he shouts, then, "Bravo!"

"Have you killed it yet?", ask the panting rescue crew. "Can we let go of the blanket?".......


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: Severn
Date: 02 Jul 08 - 12:48 PM

"Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm.....If we could get footage of the moth battling the squid, then we could sell it to a Japanese film maker for big bucks!", thinks Severn, practicing making his mouth move at a different speed than his speech, hoping for a bit part in the finished picture.

"Ouch, that hurts!, he said, having tried it.

"Rapaire's doing just fine, though. We'll see if he can finish the job......"

Looking out the window to the West, he sees "Surrender Liz" written across the sky.

"She could've stayed here and heard that from the Squid. I hope she's all right."......


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Jul 08 - 12:58 PM

"And why," he muses, "should Liz surrender? She seems to be doing okay."


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: GUEST,rAVen kittY
Date: 02 Jul 08 - 03:06 PM

PRrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrowlllllllll

I want to go home nooooooooooowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 02 Jul 08 - 03:33 PM

It's too hot for all of this Errol Flynn stuff! I'm setting up a sprinkler out on the front lawn and I think I'll stand in it for a while. There's no cooling off in that jello pit with Harleys dripping oil and calamari taking a dip and scrap metal and champagne glasses all down in the bottom of it. Wait till the health department gets a load of that!


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: MMario
Date: 02 Jul 08 - 03:35 PM

What health department has jurisdiction in this particular pocket of sub-space?


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: lady penelope
Date: 02 Jul 08 - 03:41 PM

ROTFLMAO at Mmario.....


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: Severn
Date: 02 Jul 08 - 04:57 PM

The Giant Squid has found a sci-fi channel double feature on the cable TV of "Destroy All Monsters" and "Destroy All Planets" and two squid-from-outer-space movies is too much to pass up, even if Gammera (the flying turtle much more to be feared than any University of Maryland Terrapin) kicks Viras' ass in the second one.

DESTROY ALL PLANETS (1968) two star rating
Aliens whose spaceships turn into giant flying squids are attacking Earth. It's up to Gammera, the flying fire-breathing turtle to save the day.


Hot Buttered Nuclear Damn! They just don't make them like that any more!


But who's going to be the one to tell the squid to turn the volume down, much less take away the remote control.....


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Jul 08 - 10:03 PM

And now he's found Disney's "20,000 Leagues Under The Sea" and he's getting really pissed off about what happens to the giant squid in that film. Especially the squid not getting to eat Cap'n Nemo.

Somebody pet him and calm him down, please!


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 03 Jul 08 - 01:01 AM

Liz storms in through the back door...

'Well sod that for a game of soldiers! That silly wizard bloke was just plain stupid! He told me that if I wanted a brain I'd have to dye my hair brunette. I told him that if I wanted a brain I'd have his, he wasn't using it. So I got it... see? No? Here, borrow my magnifying glass.... Right, now someone get these bloody shoes off me... Tramp red is SOOOO not my colour.'


LTS


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: Severn
Date: 03 Jul 08 - 07:58 AM

The squid, getting more and more drunk and belligerent at the fate of his bretheren in every sci-fi film, perks up at the return of Liz. His good mood seems to have been restored.

We welcome her blondness back, as well, and Raven, too.

Someone took down the time of her arrival, and the pool winner should be announced soon.

That's good, because there had been no volunteers for Rapaire's suggestion that someone should pet him.

What DO squids drink, anyway?. And maybe he'll eat a dead moth, if and when Rapaire has finally dispatched it......


Stilly's still cooling it under the sprinkler outside the front door, one side door leads to the alley gate and one of the West doors opens onto the yellow brick road. It seems that last winter we had a beach and a few other things behind all the many doors, but this year, they don't seem to be labeled. Do we have to number them and get Monty Hall and Carol Merrill to show us what's behind them, or does anybody know for sure this time around?.....


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: lady penelope
Date: 03 Jul 08 - 08:29 AM

Lady P. checks Severn's drink for halucinagens......


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Jul 08 - 08:35 AM

...and finding none realizes that Severn IS a hallucination.


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: Severn
Date: 03 Jul 08 - 09:10 AM

On Sunday, I'm a Hallelu-sin-nation.

I'm usually apparent. I'm also a grandparent. Before I was a parent, I was merely obvious. But I AM plenty real, every bit as much as, say, Mrs. McLeod's Real (as one of my favorite tunes, for reel! And I, for one, believe in her!). And, may I remind you, as an unfortunately newly practicing diabetic, I'M one of the few sober people in this joint, so don't blame ME, blame your barkeep! There's nothing in that can at my table but Hansen's Diet Black Cherry Soda!

Anyway, I just figured, since you pumped out all that insecticide into the room with the Flit Gun, Rapaire, I'd turn on the fans (and I'd like to thank all the many fans in here), open all the doors and air out the place a little bit. You can't blame me for being a little wary about what might come in, given past experience can you? Or wonder about a place to step out for a while, for that matter.

Anyway, I'm just asking those who consider themselves more rooted and wiser souls than I who have spent a few more years in here than myself, if it would be a wise thing to do.


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: Severn
Date: 03 Jul 08 - 09:18 AM

And now that you've gone off and "checked my drink" somewhere, Lady P., I assume you'll buy me a replacement. I'm extremely sorry that the stuff didn't make you feel any different, but it was a good try, all in the name of Science of course......


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Jul 08 - 02:14 PM

As a diabetic of some time, I invite you to cut the insecticide residue from your throat (and by the way, I've discovered it wasn't insecticide but something called "Dioxin," Army surplus from the Vietnam War time) with a healthy glass of Knob Creek.

Just adjust your insulin amount if you're on insulin to accommodate the carbs and the alcohol (it's 140 proof). Otherwise, ignore it and just don't eat the barbecue in a sandwich.

And heed this advice from the American Diabetes Association:

10. Can I drink alcohol?


Yes, in moderation. Moderation is defined as two drinks a day for men and one drink a day for women. A drink is a 5-ounce glass of wine, a 12-ounce light beer, or 1-1/2 ounces of 80-proof distilled spirits. Make sure that your medications don't require avoiding alcohol, and get your doctor's okay.


But in the Mudcat Taverns you are required to be moderate in all things, including both moderation and excess.


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: Severn
Date: 03 Jul 08 - 02:37 PM

Thanks for the tip. I'm still learning this stuff. It was set off by inability to hold in food for three days after the last chemo treatment which spiked my blood sugar level to 1100, near stroke/coma levels and it looks like the condition's here to stay.

I had a diabetic sister who cheated on the alchohol and went into a coma, so I'm very careful. Scared straight years before I needed to be.


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: Severn
Date: 03 Jul 08 - 04:17 PM

Besides, the chemo had me off alchohol for some time, anyway. It's a low carb and sugar diet and drinking stuff with Splenda in it that's the new part. Also, I was hoping that the diabetes would only be temporary, but the endochrinologist told me only two weeks ago that it wasn't, and I'd been going strictly by the book, just in case.


Now, back to the regularly squiduled mayhem, recreation and cullinary delights.....


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Jul 08 - 04:34 PM

Do what the doctor says, only do it in moderation. Like Liz and the squid -- moderation in all things, even moderation.


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 03 Jul 08 - 04:39 PM

I never was one for moderation.... except squid.

LTS


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: beardedbruce
Date: 03 Jul 08 - 04:43 PM

Everything in excess- Moderation is for monks!

Brother Bruce


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Jul 08 - 05:17 PM

Then be excessive in your moderation!


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: Severn
Date: 03 Jul 08 - 05:50 PM

"And the winner of the pool is GNU!"

"Is gnu still in the house?...."

Being the last one IN the pool, he should've been a rotten egg, but much like the curate's egg.......

HELL no! He's actually a good egg all around!

"Come out of your shell, shocked or not, and claim your prize!".....


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Jul 08 - 06:54 PM

Gnu? He's one hard-boiled, tough egg.


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 03 Jul 08 - 07:19 PM

Severn, I'll buy you a local Splenda drink, the store brand at my off-brand store.

"One Diet Bubba, please, Barkeep!"


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: Severn
Date: 03 Jul 08 - 08:44 PM

A many Splenda'd thing! Thank you. Mmmmmmmmmm....What's in it?


Though most people I've met actually called Bubba (with one exception) look like they need to go on a diet. And it's damn hard to find such a thing as Diet Southern Hospitality. I never make it back from Charlotte or Atlanta any thinner, but I'm always welcomed kindly and fed well.

And you never hear anybody sing about:

"Tiny bubbas
on the wine...."


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: frogprince
Date: 03 Jul 08 - 09:24 PM

Hmmm...question...which is really the most authentic "Bubba" drink? Beer, or white lightning?


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: frogprince
Date: 03 Jul 08 - 09:27 PM

Or would it be white lightning and Dr Pepper?...


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Jul 08 - 09:29 PM

If you don't know you ain't a real Bubba.

I'd like some shine and none of that stuff you git outa old car radiators, either.


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: Severn
Date: 03 Jul 08 - 10:52 PM

Someone once told me that if the stuff's really good that if you shake it the bubbles will stay at the bottom, if not the bubbles will rise to the top. However when someone used to bring it into a card game I attended,I tried it once. I never bothered to shake it. It shook me, and I have no idea where the bubbles went.....


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 03 Jul 08 - 11:54 PM

Diet Bubba is a knockoff of Diet Coke, but without any flavor to speak of. It's carmel colored soda water with Splenda sweetener. You have to be desperate or really really broke to buy it. If you want a taste of it in a different marketplace (I'm guessing you don't have the Save A Lot grocery chain in your area, but who knows?), then taste the Walgreen store brand of diet cola that is a Diet Coke knockoff. They used to carry the one Coke product with Splenda, a Diet Coke with a light blue line and the Splenda logo, but then they got their own brown piss water in a bottle and stopped carrying the Coke that at least tasted like something.

Don't pour that stuff in the jello pit or you'll give the giant squid colic.


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: frogprince
Date: 04 Jul 08 - 12:15 AM

Is there really-honest-to-gawd such a thing as "Diet Bubba" in the outside world? I just assumed it was only available here at the tavern!

Re Repaires mention of "lightnin'" brewed in a radiator; this is pretty much to the tune of Si Kahn's "Wild Rose of the Mountain" (with Si's permission, so long as I don't try to record it without payin' up:

Me 'n' Sheriff Brown 'n' the Piper

Sheriff Brown came round to see me in a Buick Regal;
Said, "That grass is nice and green, but, son, that grass ain't legal";
From the jailhouse telephone, I called a legal eagle;
He said, "Friend, you better face it, your defence is feeble".

Chorus: Guess I'll have to do the reapin, 'cause I did the sowin';
                If I have t' pay the piper, how much do I owe 'im?

Cooked some corn up in a mash; came back a little later;
Ran it through an antique copper Reo radiator;
Some skunk told the revenouers where my little still sat;
Truth be told, I'm just as glad I missed the one I shot at.

Chorus:

Maggie liked to have some fun, and Maggie was my buddy:
We decided all that fun could fetch us in some money;
Sheriff Brown showed up again; ( his Regal's gettin' rusty);
'nother month of good behaviour, I can be a trustee...

Chorus:


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: Severn
Date: 04 Jul 08 - 04:48 AM

Don't inflict it on the squid (which already squirts out enough brown stuff naturally), but go ahead and serve it to Severn. Now I know where I stand in the pecking order of things. So much for that good feeling when a lady offers to buy you a drink with hopefully friendly intentions. I read the labels when buying food for myself, but just now as I read the gift can, I see under "Noo-trish-y-null Facks", where it just says "N/A". Do they also sell "Dr. Bubba" and "Bubba Dew" and "Bubba-Up" as store brands there as well?

We've escaped Save A Lot (somewhere between Camel-lot and Spam-alot?)in Maryland, but I'm sure we have the same stuff or similar as a store brand by a different name at, say, Bottom Dollar, the low-rent version of Food Lion (if that's not a contradiction in itself).

Diet Coke is the only thing most taverns, bars and pubs carry here and Diet Dr. Pepper tastes the best of the name brands if you're in a gas station or convenience store, but I've found the Hanson's Black Cherry, Grapefruit and Tangerine-Lime as the best among what I've been condemmed to by fate. Like with TV shows, it still isn't the real thing, but it's now a reality thing.

Seriously, in my travels I always tried to sample the local sodas as a taste of what makes the region unique (local artificial color?), so at one time I'd have probably bought one to see how good or bad it actually was on my own. I tried Casco, Grapette and the like and never had the Moxie to finish an entire can of that foul brew.

The same with local beers. I'd drink Naragansett Porter up in Maine and at least try Pearl, Jax, Olympia and the like, when "in-roam". Now the micro-brews have made it a whole new ballgame and it's actually safe to take an Englishman out for a beer in America without getting a lot of flack about their superiority in brewing.

Anyway, Stilly, thanks and the next round is on me!......Something we can hopefully even share with the squid.


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: gnu
Date: 04 Jul 08 - 04:54 AM

I hear there is gonna be banner flying and BBQ'g and fireworks and lots of partying today. Is that what I won??!! Little ol me??


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: GUEST,LTS pretending to work
Date: 04 Jul 08 - 05:16 AM

Let's hear it for the old Bar Strangled Spanner....

Is it true that the last words of the US Bubba anthem are 'plaaaaaaaaaaay baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwl!'?

Have a happy day folks on this, the 12th anniversary of Limpit's Christening.

LTS


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: Severn
Date: 04 Jul 08 - 05:20 AM

From a makeshift (pseudo?) podium, Severn addresses the assembled multitudes:

"AHEM!"

"As one who is aquainted with drools of the game in and out of season and has actually been drooled on by a real moose or two in real life, as winner of the 'When Liz Gets Back From OZ Pool', your just reward is a virtual case of Moose Drool, (something the doctors claim not to have found a cure for)!"

Rapaire presents good old gnu, Wildebeest of the Great Northeast, with one of the gnice-ities of Western life in bulk, while the gathered throng wildly cheers!.

"OK. everybody! Back to whatever you were doing!"......


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: Severn
Date: 04 Jul 08 - 05:29 AM

WHAT!!!!!!!!!

12 years ago you cracked a bottle of champaigne over Limpet's bow and pushed her into the water?

That's definitely "Out To Launch"!


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: gnu
Date: 04 Jul 08 - 06:41 AM

Moose drool? That's made in Saint John, New Brunswick... just up the road a ways.


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: MMario
Date: 04 Jul 08 - 06:57 AM

I raise a glass to 'Bozo the clown" now departed this earth.


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: Severn
Date: 04 Jul 08 - 08:00 AM

The band plays The Kinks' "Death Of A Clown". It'll take a lot to fill his shoes.

He was Beau Zeaux in Quebec and South Louisiana.

Known as "The Capitol Clown" in his early days on Capitol Records before animation. In later years, a lot of cities had their own Bozo hosting the cartoons around 5 o'clock at night, often with kiddies in a live audience. Willard Scott was a Bozo for a while, if memory serves, in Washington DC, as well as a Ronald McDonald.

Which Bozo has departed?

Is Butchie Boy still alive?



....Sorry gnu. People out West spoke of Moose Drool being a local favorite. I didn't know where it was brewed or where the moose actually brooded. Not big in DC yet. Give it time.....


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: gnu
Date: 04 Jul 08 - 08:41 AM

Oh, yeah, right, sorry. "Moose Drool" was a typo.

You figure it out.


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Jul 08 - 01:59 PM

Gosh, he thinks, look at all the fireworks I've got in this bag. Roman candles, fountains, about a zillion firecrackers of all sizes, smoke bombs...just all sorts of

oops.

Probably shouldn't have dropped that lit cigar in there.

I'll just throw it away, over toward were all them people are fussin' around....


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: lady penelope
Date: 04 Jul 08 - 04:16 PM

Heavens.... it's raining jello.... Thank goodness I brought my umbrella....


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 06 Jul 08 - 02:11 AM

Here it's just raining now.... hopefully that will water the flowers and lay that dust to rest... and put out the fire started by some silly sod with a box of fireworks and a ceegar.

I didn't know squid could jump that high, did you? But when that 'Mighty Mortar Rocket' landed in his pit, he musta done 12feet from a standing start.















Any volunteers to get him out of the rafters before the duck gets pecky?

LTS


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: Severn
Date: 06 Jul 08 - 10:20 AM

Those flying squid in the Japanese movie must've inspired him! He left a brown sepia jet spray behind him to add to the mess. And when this is all over, as Mmario has hinted at, in (and at) the end we're our own health department.

The rescue crew looks at the beach blanket it was ready to catch Rapaire in, shake their heads and look for something bigger. And I'm not sure squids are built to climb down ladders. He jumped up at enough of an angle that he is not directly above the now les than half full jello pit that still contains much of the scrap metal.

Any suggestions, anybody? Peace has done rescue before, but I don't know if Bruce has previously saved any squids from rafters or have any of the Rangers on the Cat either. This is no kitten in a tree, right, Raven?

Meanwhile, we're "squids-in-the-belfry" with no one named Squid Goddess to help.

If nothing else, there's a huge tarp in the barn......


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: SINSULL
Date: 06 Jul 08 - 11:11 AM

And from the TV comes the sounds of "Mooooooothraaaaaaaaaaaaa. Mooooooothraaaaaaaaaa" in tiny little voices.

The moth stirs...his martini and looks thoughtfully into the squid's eyes.


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: Severn
Date: 06 Jul 08 - 12:48 PM

On their way out to the barn, the rescue team notices that all the sheep, woolly when we'd first arrived, now appear roughly shorn.

"Behe-Moth must've been hungry on his way in."

"I guess it's more nutritious than snacking on Hershey's Butterfly Kisses"

"It probably kept him from eating up this entire thread, or sew its seams".............


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: lady penelope
Date: 06 Jul 08 - 01:18 PM

Oi! There'll be no re-ennacting of Godzilla round here, thankewverymuch....


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: Severn
Date: 06 Jul 08 - 01:48 PM

Lady P., we'd be more likely to be visited, if at all, by Jesus Zilla (Son Of God) coming up from his home at The Heal-A-Monster Mission near San Iterry Station, Mexico, a few miles outside Matamoros. The Sins Of The Father have been borne again......

Meanwhile Behe-Moth seems to have revived all of a sudden, thanks to SINSULL's moth-er-ly instincts......


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: gnu
Date: 06 Jul 08 - 01:58 PM

Mothra Mary?


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: Severn
Date: 06 Jul 08 - 02:03 PM

Just in case, if you don't pronounce it "Hey-Soos Zeeee--yah" he tends to get angry.....

But I sincerely doubt he'll show.




"I wonder what that Captain Nemo guy would think if he saw a Giant Squid cowering while clinging upside from a rafter for dear life?", some brave and foolhardy soul wonders out loud........


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Jul 08 - 11:34 PM

Eat, drink, and make Mary, for tomorrow it's back to work!

Moose Drool, bitte.


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 07 Jul 08 - 03:23 AM

Except for those of us who don't work on Mondays... :D

I'm off the Moose Drool though... even if I did work on Mondays I wouldn't be able to today... not whilst I'm locked in this ladies room again...

Could I have an iced water and could someone put another roll of TP in the fridge for me please? I think I disagreed with something that ate me.... says she eyeing the squid suspiciously.

LTS


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: Severn
Date: 07 Jul 08 - 11:37 AM

That's why they call them Ten-tickles, Liz, 'cause he can tickle you ten ways at once! And you probably thought they were named after "Tenta-cleeze", the Greek God of Armament.

You may have disagreed with him, Liz, but I'm sure you'll be making up. In fact, that's probably one of the things you're doing in the bathroom as the line of muttering women grows longer. You seem to bring out their muttering instinct. As for the squid, he doesn't wear any make up.

....And as for the squid (revisited), just as the rescue crew comes in from the barn with the tarp, our cephlopod friend drops safely and lightly down to the floor on his own.

"It's actually true!", thinks Raven Kitty. "They DO actually always land on their tentacles!"

"Oh, well, we can sweep rake or shove some of the mess onto this tarp when it's all over." reasons the crew.

"That's a relief!, sighs Behe-moth. "That saves me the task of trying an aerial rescue and being possibly eaten as a thank-you."

He looks to find Alice and request the band to play a tango, like he loved to do as a caterpillar (actually, the only step he knows), but the band has struck up "Squid Jiggin' Ground" in GS's honor, and he honors us back by doing a ten-legged Irish dance that would make Michael Flatly look flat-footed and want to turn in his dancing shoes and stop doing those cursed shows. Go, Squid, go!.....

What's cookin' in the kitchen?.....


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 08 Jul 08 - 04:12 AM

Ain't nobody here but us chickens.

Bring on the fresh TP and crank up the extractor fan - the squid is eating chili!

LTS


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: lady penelope
Date: 08 Jul 08 - 07:11 AM

In which case I think it's time to adjourn to the veranda with a jug of fresh made lemon squash and a bottle of rasberry vodka....


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 08 Jul 08 - 07:40 AM

Certainly I shall join you on the veranda, but I'm off the sauce until further notice... or when the tests come back.. whichever is soonest.

LTS


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: SINSULL
Date: 08 Jul 08 - 07:59 AM

Preggies, Liz?????
What have you and that squid been up to?

Lady Penelope, there is a bottle of Blue Raspberry Lemonade in my cupboard. It is one of the few untouched alcohol bearing drinks in my home. The last bottle went down the drain and did a wonderful job of clearing it. The general concensus is that it tastes like motor coolant - not having tasted motor coolant, I can't say. To me, it tastes the way lighter fluid smells. Got it half price at Hannaford's. Would you like a taste?

The squid is tearing off his shirt ala Flatley and Hulk Hogan. Revolting. EWWWWWWW. His belly's as white as Flatley's.


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: lady penelope
Date: 08 Jul 08 - 08:19 AM

Sinsull, erm a kind offer, but I think I'll pass.... Liz, you can have the lemonade then, all the more rasberry vodka for me... *G*!


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: Severn
Date: 08 Jul 08 - 08:41 AM

I never expected to hear Flatley and Hulk Hogan mentioned in the same sentence, but I suppose if you're talking about shirtless Irishmen headlining overblown extravaganzas......

Hulk would snap Flately in two, that is, if he could catch him, but maybe they should team up together, after all. And Hogan could do a solo on "I Am A Lard Of A Dunce, Cried He" while wearing a Red White and Blue Loincloth to bring out his inherent "Uncle Sam-itism".

(Flatley and Hogan both claim that Hulk's statement that he "could knock down his weight in Orange Jews for breakfast" was taken out of context by the press, so at this point, their planned joint show goes on).....


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: freda underhill
Date: 08 Jul 08 - 08:46 AM

..burp...


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: Severn
Date: 08 Jul 08 - 08:58 AM

Liz might now have "a limpet and a squid" and be two thirds of the way to starring in a rewrite of "Eddystone Light/Man At The Nore". I'm sure that Squeaky The Squid would be a cute cuttly little.....

.....Whatever.....


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Jul 08 - 09:10 AM

Tests? I don't think STD means "Squids Transmit Diarrhea."

You can have all that metal I came in with. I'm sticking to my rapier from now on -- much more elegant than all of those guns AND you can use it for shishkabobs.


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: SINSULL
Date: 08 Jul 08 - 09:56 AM

Oh my mother was the keeper of a squawking squeak
She rode in a boat but it did leak
Down fell a squid as though from heaven
Now mother's got a fishy bun in the oven
yo ho hoooooo
The wind blows free
Oh for the life on the rollin' sea.


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: lady penelope
Date: 08 Jul 08 - 11:20 AM

Oookaaaay....


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Jul 08 - 11:35 AM

Well, Liz was the keeper of the ladies' room light
Got it on with squiddy one fine night
And from that union there came four
Or maybe five or six or maybe more.

Yohoho, the rum flowed free
If she'd clear the room we all could pee!


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 08 Jul 08 - 01:43 PM

You guys..... you are SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO dead!

I've always hated the term 'preggers'... it would be a medical miracle if it were to occur and I'd be offering the story to 'Jello' magazine.

LTS


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: beardedbruce
Date: 08 Jul 08 - 01:50 PM

News from the outside world (outdated)...

Giant squids 'mate blind'
May 6, 2004

The giant squid is not especially choosy when it comes to sex and will mate blind without checking if the object of its affections is male or female, a German researcher said yesterday.

Volker Miske, of the Stralsund maritime museum in northeast Germany, said a male specimen being prepared for conservation had sperm underneath its skin.

The giant squid reproduces by the male injecting sperm under the skin of its female partner.

"The theory about two male giant squid mating is not new, but for the first time we have something that seriously supports that theory," he told AFP.

"It's the first time that (sperm) traces have been discovered in a part of the body so far from the sexual organ.

"Until now, it was thought males injected themselves with sperm by accident during mating. But that is definitely not the case here: the sperm was clearly injected by another giant squid."

There is another possibility that cannot be totally excluded, Miske added, which is that the infusion of sperm happened during group sex.

However, that is unlikely given that chance encounters between giant squid, rare, multi-tentacled creatures which live at depths of between 300 and 1,000 metres below sea level, are few and far between.

The six-metre-long specimen being prepared at Stralsund was discovered by a team led by the New Zealand researcher Steve O'Shea.

AFP


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: beardedbruce
Date: 08 Jul 08 - 01:56 PM

Too much information...

http://www.tonmo.com/science/public/architeuthisreproduction.php


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: beardedbruce
Date: 08 Jul 08 - 02:16 PM

Any of this sound familiar?





"Unless pheromones are involved (squid perfumes), both male and female (or male/male and female/female) probably just bump into each other in the dark. After a moment of panic, sixteen arms and four tentacles entangle and the giants go beak to beak.

The relatively long terminal organ (penis) of a mature male is almost the length of its mantle, from which it projects freely, through the funnel, for a considerable portion of the organ's length. Species with such long organs presumably use them directly to implant spermatophores hydraulically into the female, and as a rule lack modification of either ventral arm (hectocotylus) for spermatophore transfer. Architeuthis lacks a hectocotylus.

His metre+-long penis presumably injects numerous spermatophores directly into the female's arms (Fig. 4, left). The two animals then separate, the male swimming away, probably a bit beat up (possibly having lost parts of his arms and tentacles in the violent struggle; see cannibalism thread), but none the wiser likely repeats this affair with another female (should the opportunity arise). His spermatophores remain embedded in each female's arms - possibly burrowing even deeper into their flesh. "


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 08 Jul 08 - 05:45 PM

Well that explains the joint aches and the rash, but what about the cough?

LTS


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: beardedbruce
Date: 08 Jul 08 - 05:49 PM

Now, the colossal squid really does exist - and it's bigger than the giant squid! Current estimates put the colossal at 12–14m long - that's 39–46 feet. Its mantle is longer than the giant squid, but its tentacles are shorter. And instead of suckers, it's got rows of swivelling hooks on its tentacles. The colossal squid is thought to have the biggest eye in the animal kingdom.

http://weblog.greenpeace.org/oceandefenders/archive/2007/03/the_really_really_big_col.html


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: beardedbruce
Date: 08 Jul 08 - 05:50 PM

allergic reaction?


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Jul 08 - 11:16 AM

One of the guys in the neighborhood had big eyes. He was arrested for using them to peek in windows.


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: SINSULL
Date: 09 Jul 08 - 02:00 PM

Wonder if our squid knows that size matters????? Blind, eh? That explains a lot.


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: beardedbruce
Date: 09 Jul 08 - 02:10 PM

"The relatively long terminal organ (penis) of a mature male is almost the length of its mantle"

"Current estimates put the colossal at 12–14m long - that's 39–46 feet. Its mantle is longer than the giant squid, "




It knows...


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 09 Jul 08 - 02:32 PM

Ah, but generosity of measurement is not an indication of a sensitive, caring and responsible lover.

LTS


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 10 Jul 08 - 07:09 AM

But it does make for a damn good night in!

LTS


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Jul 08 - 09:26 AM

In where? Carlsbad Caverns? Joe's Bar? Speaking of bars, I'd like a few more Moose Drools.

Thanks.

No, no, just because I mentioned Carlsbad Caverns (which is really Carl's Bad Tavern) doesn't mean I want them topped with batshit.


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: Severn
Date: 10 Jul 08 - 09:39 AM

Then congradulations on your mantle piece trophy, Liz!

Better a trophy than atrophy, as they say!


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: lady penelope
Date: 10 Jul 08 - 10:08 AM

Oh dear lord....

Right it's a very large G&T for me then - purely medicinal you know...


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: Severn
Date: 10 Jul 08 - 10:19 AM

Gin and Mudcat-a-tonic? Sounds like a cure!


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Jul 08 - 11:29 AM

A gin, and a gin, and a gin....


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: Severn
Date: 10 Jul 08 - 11:53 AM

Rapaire's been winning at Cotton Rummy a-gin?


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: SINSULL
Date: 10 Jul 08 - 12:06 PM

Now look what you guys have done. The squid is sulking in the corner. Somebody pass him a bottle or two of gin. Then shove him back into the Jell-O pit. He smells funny.


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Jul 08 - 12:08 PM

Of course he smells funny! He doesn't have a nose.


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 10 Jul 08 - 05:50 PM

And they've yet to develop an undertenticle deoderant....

LTS


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: Severn
Date: 11 Jul 08 - 01:56 PM

Squid's just a little tired from his terpsichorian exhibition and a bit saddened and offended by the subsequent call from his agent. The "title role" just offered to him in a road production of "Lord Of the Dance" turned out to be that of St. Vitus.


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 11 Jul 08 - 05:09 PM

He'd be proud of me... I spent a good 30 mins this morning covered from boobs to bum in jello.... and not a squid in sight!

LTS


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Jul 08 - 06:24 PM

So, Liz -- you got your old job at Theatre Sleaze back, did you?


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 12 Jul 08 - 06:14 AM

Alas no.. I was having an ultrasound scan on my liver.

The Theatre Sleaze job fell through when it became obvious to all that I had the wrong kind of tits. Most men don't like them feathered...


although there was this one guy from Richmond.....


LTS


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: beardedbruce
Date: 15 Jul 08 - 09:25 AM

Lime fizz, please...


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Jul 08 - 09:34 AM

I'm working on a piece for bodhran and piobrach. It is to be played ffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff, con molto warlike, by novice (or wannabe) players. Hmmmmm...maybe it also needs cannons, like the "1812 Overture." Nothing like a whiff of grapeshot to keep the audience awake, I always say.

Rum, please. Straight 151 proof stuff.


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 15 Jul 08 - 12:27 PM

CErtainly Rap... and would you like a penknife to go with that 'hran?

LTS


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: maeve
Date: 15 Jul 08 - 12:40 PM

It will have to be a weepin' knife, Liz. No happy little knife would dream of causing injury to the Noble Bodhran.

Rapaire:
I hesitate to inquire about the instrument referred to as a "piobroch". The compositional form is an elegant thing indeed. I should warn you however, that the Campbells are coming, the MacDonalds are already here, and the Scots an aw their allies are nae sae far frae here as ye mocht think! You'll be greetin' and mourning soon fur you're in muckle trouble, son!

MEGAN!


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: Megan L
Date: 15 Jul 08 - 01:25 PM

Ach lassies never listen tae thon calumphin gallot Rapaire hes gan clean gyte and is naethin bit a stirrer upper


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: beardedbruce
Date: 15 Jul 08 - 01:32 PM

a stirrer upper is useful in a tavern.


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: SINSULL
Date: 15 Jul 08 - 02:33 PM

HMMMM I was in here getting a lecture on bear scat and assorted poo. Then I was in the micca thread. They have no idea why I brought up the martini and the loo. Very strange. I have to stay away from that revolving door.


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 15 Jul 08 - 03:03 PM

You brought up the martini? What a waste.. And you're going to clear it up yourself aren't you?!

Why is there never a bag of sawdust when you need one... leastways, not one that hasn't been used by the cat AND the duck....


Karbeep, fresh olives!

LTS


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Jul 08 - 03:06 PM

I think I'll call it "Hieland Laddy's Revenge."

No, wait. That sounds too much like diarrhea.....


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: beardedbruce
Date: 15 Jul 08 - 03:06 PM

"Karbeep"


Can I beg permission to use this word? A true enrichment of the English language!


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 15 Jul 08 - 03:09 PM

It's not owned by us, but by every drunken slob in the world!

LTS


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: beardedbruce
Date: 15 Jul 08 - 03:12 PM

Yes, but when the OED goes looking for it's first use in "print" it might be here!

Nope- 11 hits on altavista...


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: beardedbruce
Date: 15 Jul 08 - 03:28 PM

What about Tarbender?


21,000 hits, starting with "Tarbender is a hard-driving high-energy four-piece blues band, with strong funk,"



See, there is a musical connection! Take us above the line!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 15 Jul 08 - 04:19 PM

Star Beward?

LTS


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: Severn
Date: 15 Jul 08 - 04:56 PM

The Star Beward always to be on the other side of the room from the port, especially when you need some. He/she always thinks themself in the right, while somehow the port always seems to get left. They give you a polite bow accompanied by a stern look while you're left holding a stem on the right side of the room. You wonder if the old or young poop in question is playing with a full deck.


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: Severn
Date: 15 Jul 08 - 05:00 PM

"Do you want to see the Star Beward list or the Port list to chose your wine, sir?"

Neither list will be enough to result in much of a tip.


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: beardedbruce
Date: 18 Jul 08 - 10:24 AM

no mere ( nor mare) puns can kill this thread.


Another Lime fizz, and give the squid another of whatever he's having.


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: GUEST,beardedbruce
Date: 24 Jul 08 - 08:10 AM

no word from the squid- one has to wonder.....


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 24 Jul 08 - 09:40 AM

Oh thank the deities for that... someone else has arrived...

Can you help me out of this jello pit please? The squid asked me to grab his tentacle, so I did, he farted and blew himself right out the side door into the backass of beyond, and I landed here in the jello.

It's been quite nice, but I've run out of Long Island Iced tea... now the old liver has been confirmed as not alcoholic, I'm back on the good stuff.

LTS


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: MudGuard
Date: 24 Jul 08 - 09:44 AM

Offtopic: Liz, did you see my PM?


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: SINSULL
Date: 24 Jul 08 - 10:23 AM

That wasn't a fart, Liz. It was ink. EWWWWW Green Jell-O and black ink. You look like you're rotting. Nasty


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: Severn
Date: 25 Jul 08 - 10:37 AM

"What hath he wrought?"

Or is that "What hath he, rot?"

Whatever it is, it's wroughten to the corpse and Liz definitely looks creepier in Sepia.

The ladies will have to start lining up at the Gents again. There'a always room for Jello and the ladies has been temporarily designated as the Jello Room. This clean-up could take some time, so thank you for showing us your latest film, Liz! Now go wash it off, for Gawd's sake!......


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 25 Jul 08 - 04:16 PM

Why is my hair purple?

LTS


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: open mike
Date: 25 Jul 08 - 09:37 PM

whoa, do i sure need a drink..
i lost some good aquavit in
the rfre, how bout a shot
of schnapps?!! skoal!


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: Severn
Date: 28 Jul 08 - 09:09 AM

Liz,

Did you eat lunch with Bruce Murdoch? We have a purple thread going elsewhere and now you have a whole head full of them! Or was it the reaction to the sepia squid ink?

Anyway, your hair "is to dye for", as soon as possible.


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: SINSULL
Date: 28 Jul 08 - 09:34 AM

HMMMMM Is there such a thing as bad aquavit? Did you keep it in the freezer in a block of ice, Laurel? Been a while since I had any.


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: lady penelope
Date: 28 Jul 08 - 10:23 AM

Mmm... interesting question. 5 years in a friend's freezer didn't seem to do the bottle of aquavit we have any harm....

Well, the purple hair may be a consequence of all that tea you had saturday, Liz. Or that may have been the rose vodka I ended up drinking....

In the words of 'the man' - It's too darn hot...! I'm a pale and tender limey. What do I know of 30 degrees celcius???? Where's the bleedin' rain they keep promising me??? It's too hot even for (I can't believe I'm saying this...) gin!


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: GUEST,LTS pretending to work
Date: 28 Jul 08 - 10:46 AM

It may not have done the Aquavit any harm, but the Aquavit did someone some harm!

Re: the purple hair... Limpit wanted purple hair for a party. There was a bit of dye left over.... need I say more?

LTS


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: beardedbruce
Date: 07 Aug 08 - 12:26 PM

ginger beer and lime juice, please.


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: Severn
Date: 07 Aug 08 - 01:59 PM

"Purple Hair!
All on your brain..."

Is it gone yet? Are you blonde or squid sepia brown? Or are you going to keep it purple, being one of the valliant who dye but once?

Who will stay purple longer, you, Limpet or Bruce Murdoch?


Remember, Folksingers are supposed to always let their roots show, even if they often keep their sources hidden, hence all the songs about the color of their love's true hair.....


Of course no Knight or Squire's son in any of these songs has ever paused mid-song to say, "Wait! You're not naturally flaxen", or golden or whatever, they just go minding their own pleasure, and sometimes even hers.....


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for business
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 07 Aug 08 - 05:13 PM

Just checked.. still purple.

LTS


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for business
From: Severn
Date: 07 Aug 08 - 05:57 PM

Checked, is it? Purple and what? How did you pull THAT off?

With extra body shammy-the-poo, do you get more bounce in your checks?

If it's houndstooth checked, than you're REALLY good! By far the best you've accomplished in a checkered career.

Just checking, is all.....


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for business
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 08 Aug 08 - 04:24 PM

Severn, I swear, if I ever get my hands on you again......!

LTS


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for business
From: Severn
Date: 08 Aug 08 - 05:59 PM

.....then I'd be one wrung-necked peasant, not fit for the poaching.

I'm sure the Giant Squid taught her some holds Houdini couldn't have gotten out of.....









.....unless, of course. the squid was ticklish.


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for business
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 09 Aug 08 - 10:08 AM

I despair, I really do....

Somebody get me a big BIG long drink!

LTS


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for business
From: lady penelope
Date: 09 Aug 08 - 11:16 AM

I'm sure I can rustle up a round of margerita slush puppies....


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for business
From: Severn
Date: 09 Aug 08 - 12:40 PM

If the original is close to breaking down, Liz, sometimes it's good to have despair, just in case, just to be able squeak by with should the original go bad.

Not that I'm saying purple checks are bad, now......







I'll have a Hanson's sugar-free Grapefruit soda please (SIGH!). That alchoholic stuff sounds so good. Oh well.....


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for business
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 09 Aug 08 - 06:18 PM

My slush has run out of puppy again....


LTS


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for business
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 10 Aug 08 - 06:05 PM

Will someone put him out of my misery?!

LTS


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for business
From: Severn
Date: 10 Aug 08 - 08:17 PM

Into anyone else's misery in particular?


Right now, you're dropping the best straight lines out there, but we thankfully won't ask you to walk one.


If you're running out of sloshed puppy, we could always send Jack back your way.....



Where IS that rascal these days? He'd be at home here.....


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for business
From: frogprince
Date: 10 Aug 08 - 09:46 PM

Speaking of iced coffee; I'm gonna mix me up something that I haven't for awhile. I found some butter pecan ice cream in the freezer, and I'm gonna moosh it up in a big glass of cold coffee. Anyone else want to try some?


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for business
From: frogprince
Date: 10 Aug 08 - 09:57 PM

Actually I guess the mention of iced coffee was over at Jerry Rasmussens kitchen, but the offer still holds.


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for business
From: MAG
Date: 11 Aug 08 - 02:41 AM

And the usual latecomer straggles in, limp from Summer Reading Program and the usual job hassles.

What I need is some good company ...

Severn, I figured out a lng time ago that the best thing about a virtual tevern is that you can have anything, an on-line drink not being the same as on-tap ...

hmmm, I can bring blackberries; want'em soaked in anything?

Ro ho, the foamin' bock,
the bock down in the tavern o;
ro ho the foamin'bock,
The bock down in the tavern o


hmmm, out through this window here is one of our lovely eastern WA after-sundown breezes; the nicest thing about a desert is the way it cools off after sunset -- pours in like sweet nectar, revivifying relaxing. oh, and some thick hot pea soup for the southern hemisphere folks.

My usual virtual coffee ice cream, creme de monthe, and Tia Maria please.


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for business
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 11 Aug 08 - 03:26 AM

In the same glass?

Actually, I'm somewhat disturbed that Limpit knows the main flavouring in Absinthe... not even I knew that at 12 years old. She's turning out to be a right chip off the old blocks.

LTS


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for business
From: Severn
Date: 11 Aug 08 - 09:20 AM

What, Liz, you thought when she said she was "experimenting with the 'sinthe" that she was playing electronic keyboards or something?

I hope there haven't been any unexplained absinthes from school or anything!....







.....Seriously, she's a great kid whom I thoroughly enjoyed meeting, and tell her "hello" for me and I don't REALLY think she's developed a taste QUITE yet.....


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for business
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 11 Aug 08 - 12:04 PM

Well of course I will tell her hello Sev... absinthe makes the heart grow fonder after all!































A point to me I believe?

LTS


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for business
From: MAG
Date: 11 Aug 08 - 01:55 PM

Yep, all in the same glass, or blended. Creme de cacao in place of the mint is good, too. Sugar, alcohol, and caffiene.

Sinth I'm also diabetic, I can only enjoy it virtually.

Two weeks vacation coming up starting Saturday, and I can hardly wait. It will be a staycation; catching up on yardwork in the very hottest part of the year.

But I had a bumper crop of blueberries this year (3 bushes), and the bacon, basil and tomato sandwiches are just starting. I love this part of summer. Except for the water bills.


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for business
From: lady penelope
Date: 11 Aug 08 - 05:04 PM

You grow sandwiches???!?!


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for business
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 11 Aug 08 - 05:06 PM

Breadfruit?

LTS


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for business
From: lady penelope
Date: 12 Aug 08 - 02:38 AM

Could someone grow an ark while they're there? Tad wet this morning...


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for business
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 12 Aug 08 - 04:31 AM

It was a little damp.... still, tropical monsoons call for tropical monsoon drinks - bring on the Singapore Slings and get me a canoe!

LTS


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for business
From: Severn
Date: 12 Aug 08 - 10:18 AM

An Ark Of Triumph like Noah and his wife Joan sailed to glory in?

It may not be needed yet, but then on the other hand, both BeheMoth and RavenKitty are now sitting in the rafters, though the Squid's not complaining. Not a good omen, though.

When the house band up on the riser stage strikes up "Nearer My God To Thee" or even "Five Feet High and A-Risin" ", I'm bailing out.

Still, Singapore Slings and Eros, even if costing an outrageous fortune, sound like a solution.

Has this place ever flooded before? If we open all the doors, will more dampness come in, or will the existing stuff flow out, say, down to the beach and out to the sea? There may be Monseen and Typheen coming from those directions, as well.

If we do let some water flow through here, it could flush out the Jello Pit and the rest of the mess on the floor while we stand on the tables and watch. But how long will the weather last?

Is this Class Percipitation Time, Kiddies? Here we come, weather or not!

I can handle anything the Tropics throw at me, though. I'm a Capricorn and am a Cancer Survivor, as well. And I know a few vulgar boatmen's songs and shanties if we have to take the next thing floating out of here. Our chef Mmario could cook up some of Noah's Auroch to eat on the boat.

I don't think we need this to turn into a Gilligan situation, but reserve me two seats on the isle, just in case.

It could very well end very soon, and a rainbow is actually the best arc to send for or grow, as long as you don't take it as a sign from God an' start worryin' 'bout de fire nex' time.......


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for business
From: beardedbruce
Date: 12 Aug 08 - 10:20 AM

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapaire - PM
Date: 12 Aug 08 - 10:17 AM

Cool Breeze:

2 shots cheap vodka, 2 shots 151 proof rum, crushed ice, splash of grenadine, kerosene to fill the glass. Serve flambe.


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for business
From: Les from Hull
Date: 12 Aug 08 - 10:23 AM

'I asked for water and she gave me gasoline'


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for business
From: Severn
Date: 12 Aug 08 - 10:37 AM

Les,

Isn't that drink called a "Stormy Petrol"?

They serve 'em down at Mother Carey's Chicken Shack.


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for business
From: SINSULL
Date: 12 Aug 08 - 12:56 PM

Oh Look! The squid, an owl and the pussycat have started synchronized swimming in the flood. Very nice! I give it a 10.


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for business
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 12 Aug 08 - 07:19 PM

9.8, that owl is wasted.

LTS


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for business
From: Susan A-R
Date: 13 Aug 08 - 03:44 PM

Thought I'd brush off the mold and row over for a drink (well it ain't my first.) How the heck did I get to be *$@%% 50???? Oh well, Something with rum in it will do nicely.


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for business
From: lady penelope
Date: 14 Aug 08 - 09:17 AM

How about Johnny Depp?


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for business
From: Tinker
Date: 14 Aug 08 - 09:57 AM

Susan, does that mean you get Birthday shots ???

It's still morning, but I think given virtualaity I'll toss back something tall and fruity and call it breakfast.


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for business
From: lady penelope
Date: 14 Aug 08 - 11:25 AM

Ah, Pimms O'Clock!


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for business
From: Susan A-R
Date: 14 Aug 08 - 02:39 PM

Hmmm, Johnny will do nicely.

Yes Tinker, It's official (or it was) Now I guess i look a day over 50.


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for business
From: Susan A-R
Date: 14 Aug 08 - 02:40 PM

Of course, if it's Johnny, I'll need something ELSE with rum in it too.


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for business
From: gnu
Date: 14 Aug 08 - 03:24 PM

Depp is over ated.


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for business
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 14 Aug 08 - 05:49 PM

Why is the rum always gone?

LTS


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for business
From: Susan A-R
Date: 14 Aug 08 - 10:25 PM

It's those darned mojitos, or was it mosquitos?? Do they drink rum too??

I better go to bed.

G'nite


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for business
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 14 Aug 08 - 11:08 PM

Oh Look! The squid, an owl and the pussycat have started synchronized swimming in the flood. Very nice! I give it a 10.

Ohhh, I have been away for a while. A flood?

I'll get back to you after I've read some more of the thread. Barkeep, a glass of white zinfandel, please.


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for business
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 15 Aug 08 - 05:32 AM

So if the squid, the owl and the pussycat are doing the swimming, is the pig with the ring in the end of nose accompanying them on a small guitar? And what is the squid doing with that runcible spoon?

LTS


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for business
From: lady penelope
Date: 15 Aug 08 - 06:37 AM

Fishing for jello I shouldn't wonder...

Ach.. now I've got crisps down me cleavage...


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for business
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 15 Aug 08 - 08:17 AM

Guuuhuhuhuhuhuhhhh.... what a mind image for the day.....

Don't let the squid help you get them out.... although that may be what the spoon is for...

I'm busy selecting my alcohol for Towersey festival now... I'm on a bet with a certain Hatted gentleman that I can find the 'almost' in 'almost any gin is good'.

You know the one I mean.... Ain't I a stinker?!

LTS


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for business
From: Severn
Date: 15 Aug 08 - 09:50 AM

I'd assume the squid is looking for runciples, whatever the hell they are. I never knew.

If the owl and the pussycat are swimming, that means the pea green lifeboat is not an option if the water rises higher, but the more additional animals we get, the closer we are to qualifying for that ark. So start filling out the forms and a check for one Mr. Harold Angel, the fellow who rents the things, just in case....

If not it'll be like Florida, where they hold Hurricane parties amidst the blast every year.

Look! The Alligator swam back in through the alley gate maybe he WILL order a drink. The bets are back on, boys! But he looks like he's half crocked already, so maybe he does have some of that in his blood, or at least his bloodstream. And he had a hat on that says Gator-Aid. Is he here to save us or merely to make further alligations, like a lawsuit or something?

The pig is going whole-hog and full-boar jamming with the house band and he's quite good actually, ready for the Pig Time.

I'm a hog for you baby,
Can't get enough of your love....



I always liked that one I've heard him play at the Place Pig Alley over in France. I hope he spares us his stretching out for 10 minutes on "MacArthur Pork" or something (I DID just see a cake float by), and if he starts in on "Auld Lang Swine, I'm hopping on anything that floats, even if it's one of SINSULL's inflatable flamingos, because I'll know the flood's reached THAT stage, not to mention the band's riser stage!








Do you mean do I know said hatted man or what the prize is in the Gin Crummy Tournament? Or did you make the stuff in your own bathtub.







How high IS the water, mama?.......


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for business
From: lady penelope
Date: 15 Aug 08 - 05:10 PM

You evil, evil woman Liz. I feel partly responsible.... *G*


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for business
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 15 Aug 08 - 06:24 PM

You are MORE than partly responsible!!!

LTS


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for business
From: Severn
Date: 15 Aug 08 - 07:07 PM

Good to know! There were rumors flying about that you were irresponsible......


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for business
From: lady penelope
Date: 16 Aug 08 - 01:01 PM

Oooh I was last night.... Pass the asprin..


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Mudcat time: 22 September 8:15 AM EDT

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