Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-Apr 29, 2011

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-Apr 29, 2011
From: scouse
Date: 08 May 11 - 08:18 AM

My heart an good thoughts go out to you Mick, I'd subconsciously passed this thread over for whatever reason, I don't now why but made up my mind today to read through it.. It made me cry. God bless you dear Friend.

As Aye,

Phil.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-Apr 29, 2011
From: GUEST,BigDaddy
Date: 07 May 11 - 11:34 PM

I'm father to a 17-year old son (only child) and some of his friends have been like family to us, so I can certainly understand what you are going through. Prayers, sympathy and heart-felt best wishes and kind thoughts to you and yours in your terrible time.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-Apr 29, 2011
From: GUEST
Date: 07 May 11 - 05:19 PM

Mick, I'm so sorry this happened. You are in our thoughts and wishes for healing.

Frank

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-Apr 29, 2011
From: olddude
Date: 06 May 11 - 06:10 PM

I missed this thread Mick. You are in my heart and prayers my dear friend. I am so so sorry. You have been through the ringer lately as have many. Anytime, anywhere you need help you just give me a holler ..

Love Dan

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-Apr 29, 2011
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 06 May 11 - 04:48 AM

Seems to be the time of year for losing loved ones. Mick, you lifted me when I shared the loss of my daughter here. So you haven't been as absent as you think. I lost my favourite cousin (like a big sis to me) yesterday. The news has multiplied my homesickness for female relatives and Virginia friends.
But I know that I can ease me sorrow here in this little community. And you are one of the reasons I know this.
Sending you warm comfort from over big water.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-Apr 29, 2011
From: Crowhugger
Date: 05 May 11 - 01:53 PM

In my heart, in my bones I cry for you and with you Mick. Take my arm whenever you need to steady-up under a surge of weeping or bawling. You have given so much care--be sure to take some.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-Apr 29, 2011
From: My guru always said
Date: 05 May 11 - 02:49 AM

So very sorry to hear of your loss Mick, sending love and hugs to you and yours.
Hil x

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-Apr 29, 2011
From: Herga Kitty
Date: 04 May 11 - 06:31 PM

Only just saw this thread. I know what you're going through. All hugs and best wishes.

Kitty
xx

PS My dad left school at 14 but later became the mational general secretary of a civil service union and I still feel frustrated that I can't talk to him about what's going on today, because he passed away in 1989.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-Apr 29, 2011
From: CupOfTea
Date: 04 May 11 - 04:17 PM

Mick,

Sorry to hear of your loss. May all the music you make sustain you as the reality of this loss settles into your heart of hearts. It's such a major event, the loss of that living connection to your source of life, a turning point with no repetition or do-overs. I know that when I lost my last parent, it was my folk song companions who were there to support me, to sing at her funeral, and to honor her.

I imagine with your charisma and grace, that you have the folks to gather 'round you in the world of brick and wood as much as you do in the pixelated world of Mudcat. My prayer is that you have as easy a transition as possible to this new part of your life & that you are able to let those who (obviously, and in large quantities) love you, help share your grief.


Joanne in Cleveland

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-Apr 29, 2011
From: Andrez
Date: 03 May 11 - 08:10 PM

Mick I just want to add to the pile of care and good wishes expressed in all of the posts above and hope that in some small way it makes up for the loss of your father. I often end up in tears after browsing and reading this post. The sheer humanity and connectedness of it all simply overwhelms me at times. Please do whatever you have to do at this time and even though it wont change what has happened, hopefully some of the love above will help you and your family move through.

Cheers,

Andrez

PS: As the wise man once said: "May the 4th be with you" :-)

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-Apr 29, 2011
From: Hawker
Date: 03 May 11 - 06:37 PM

(((((((Big Mick)))))))
Thinking of you x

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-Apr 29, 2011
From: GUEST,jaze
Date: 03 May 11 - 06:00 AM

Mick, I know what you're going thru and am so sorry for your loss.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-Apr 29, 2011
From: bbc
Date: 02 May 11 - 06:45 AM

Welcome home, dear. I celebrated my dad's life during the NEFFA weekend, on the 4th anniversary of his passing. He gave me a solid foundation for the rest of my life &, although I often wish I could share a challenge or triumph with him, he gave me the values I need to meet the needs of my life. As I complete my teaching career & take early retirement this June, he will be much on my mind. Thinking of you with love!

best always,

Beebs

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-Apr 29, 2011
From: fat B****rd
Date: 02 May 11 - 06:42 AM

I'm so sorry for your loss, Mick. Please accept my best regards and condolences.
Charlie.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-Apr 29, 2011
From: Dharmabum
Date: 02 May 11 - 06:31 AM

Mick,
My condolences to you & your family.

DB.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-Apr 29, 2011
From: Genie
Date: 01 May 11 - 05:59 PM

[["You'll hear his advice when you need it, 'cause he ain't gone. He lives on in you and yours."
Rapparee]]

So true, Rap.   My sister died shortly before her 59th birthday, after fighting an aggressive cancer for 12 1/2 years. When she finally decided to stop trying to hold onto her weakened and pain-wracked body, she told my other sister, by phone, "I am not leaving you." She really hasn't, either. Her presence is felt often, as an important inspiration and part of our support system.   I don't claim to know what's "on the other side of the curtain" that she said she could see as she was "crossing over," but in one way or another I do believe that death is just another phase of the journey. And even if it's not, those who have touched our lives the way your Da has yours really do live on "within us," and beyond us in those whom we touch.

It seems your Da really does live on in you, Mick

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-Apr 29, 2011
From: KT
Date: 01 May 11 - 02:33 PM

Thinking of you still, on this day after, which I pray will be for you a day of gentleness and much deserved rest. take care, Mick. KT

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-Apr 29, 2011
From: Nancy King
Date: 01 May 11 - 01:42 PM

So sorry for your loss, Mick. I know how difficult these last few years have been for you, as my mother's last years were pretty much the same. Dreadful for everyone. But I've tried to remember her and my Dad the way they used to be, and I hope you'll be able to hang on to those happy memories as well. My thoughts are with you.

--Nancy

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-Apr 29, 2011
From: skarpi
Date: 01 May 11 - 01:31 PM

Mick my friend , i send you a hug ,,,,the school of life is the hardest school you can find , there are so many higg-ups on the way from
birth to grave ...take good care of you and yours all the best skarpi

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-Apr 29, 2011
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 01 May 11 - 01:11 PM

We never forget those men who were with us from our start, and know in a way they will be with us until the end. After my dad died, I caught myself pondering some problem that I knew should have a logical solution, and then thinking of phoning him for his advice, when I would be suddenly surprized to realize that I couldn't. But I still think of him when I'm confronted with problems, and often the solutions are still there if I stop and listen closely to a voice inside.
Time will make this better, but you will never forget him.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-Apr 29, 2011
From: Amergin
Date: 01 May 11 - 01:06 PM

As I look at your pain, and feel mine, two songs roll through my mind, because they fit to a t...One Small Star by Eric Bogle, and Jerry's Handful of Songs, for they leave us...but still shine for us, and give us the poetry of their love, the music of their spirit, and the tears to express them. Take it easy, Mick.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-Apr 29, 2011
From: Maryrrf
Date: 01 May 11 - 10:31 AM

Mick, some people leave money and property to their children when they pass away - your dad left something much more important. He instilled a spirit of activism and solidarity in you that will carry on for generations. His spirit still shines.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-Apr 29, 2011
From: GUEST,999
Date: 01 May 11 - 10:20 AM

My sincere condolences Mick.

Bruce M

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-Apr 29, 2011
From: topical tom
Date: 01 May 11 - 10:00 AM

All my sympathy, hopes and prayers are with you. So sorry for your loss but such people live on forever in memories.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-Apr 29, 2011
From: Barb'ry
Date: 01 May 11 - 08:41 AM

much love xx

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-Apr 29, 2011
From: stallion
Date: 01 May 11 - 05:22 AM

I have the deepest sympathy and empathy, thank you for sharing your recollections with us, you were indeed very lucky to have such a wonderful father and I suspect the whole world misses the likes of him who are far and few between, take care
Peter

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-Apr 29, 2011
From: Sandy Mc Lean
Date: 01 May 11 - 02:06 AM

Mick, my thoughts and sympathy are with you! I seems like you have developed into a chip of the old block. If more people shared his understanding that unions benefit the common working man, a better world it would be for us all!
                      Sandy

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-Apr 29, 2011
From: catspaw49
Date: 30 Apr 11 - 08:30 PM

More love your way too alison.......Still our best to you and Ryan and Shannon. I think of you often.............


Spaw

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-Apr 29, 2011
From: Amergin
Date: 30 Apr 11 - 08:26 PM

I'm sorry to hear this, Mick...though i know that if you are anything to go by, he must've been an amazing human being.

Take care.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-Apr 29, 2011
From: alison
Date: 30 Apr 11 - 08:22 PM

aw Mick I am so sorry for your loss. As always your words conjure up a wonderful picture - as others have said - write that book.

I am one of those who pops in here every-so-often but it always amazes me how often it happens to be at "just the right time"......... you know what I mean........

take that low D up to the hill and play Mick - and I'll add my own tune from over here.........

love and good thoughts to you and your family

slainte

alison

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-Apr 29, 2011
From: Janie
Date: 30 Apr 11 - 07:33 PM

Been holding you in my thoughts all day on this day of celebration and remembrance of your father.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-Apr 29, 2011
From: Jeri
Date: 30 Apr 11 - 07:13 PM

Get together with people who knew him, and tell the stories. Laugh about the silly things and let your heart be touched by the the poignant things. Smile and cry, look at pictures, and hug each other. This helps shine light on the person who lived, and allows the person who died to shuffle off into the shadows. A person is more than who he was at the end.

Love and hugs.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-Apr 29, 2011
From: Little Hawk
Date: 30 Apr 11 - 06:39 PM

You have my deepest sympathy, Mick.

I watched my father weaken and die for about 6 months, back in 2006. We weren't very compatible people, and I can't honestly say whether he "lives on in me" or not...that's a mystery to me...but it was very sad watching him lose his strength in his final days. He had always figured himself to be strong and in control of everything, but he had to face losing all that.

Now my mother is going through the same process, losing her physical and mental powers, but she still tries to control everything (although she can't).

What do I fear? The time when these same things will happen to me (assuming I don't die in a car crash or something sudden like that). How far off is it? That's hard to say. I don't fear dying. I truly regard it as deliverance from the conditions of this life! But I do fear the final stages of getting there.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-Apr 29, 2011
From: Waddon Pete
Date: 30 Apr 11 - 04:56 PM

Thank you for updating us. Your difficulties struck a chord as I also had a painful parting from my father. It seemed so unfair that a wonderful man should suffer so. I also "fell out" with Dad and later made it up. I was lucky to be there at his passing. He fought his decline all the way. I know he lives on in me as your Da will live on in you. Be true to him.

Best wishes,

Peter

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-Apr 29, 2011
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Apr 11 - 04:37 PM

I wondered where you'd been and now I know. And when I say I know what you're going through, believe it: my youngest brother died March 5 and the last of my "surrogate fathers" (a good Union man) on January 25.

You'll hear his advice when you need it, 'cause he ain't gone. He lives on in you and yours.

Mike

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-Apr 29, 2011
From: Dave Swan
Date: 30 Apr 11 - 04:37 PM

So sorry, pal. Sending warmest condolences to you and all those who miss your dad. Also sending strength. Getting through the service is a tough one, too.

You're a good man, the product of a good man. Can't ask for better.

D

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-Apr 29, 2011
From: Genie
Date: 30 Apr 11 - 04:20 PM

Yes, Mick, thanks so much for sharing what you and your family have been going through - the struggles, the loving but not always smooth relationships, the strong ties.   I can see how people like your Da and the ordeals you've been through have strengthened your character and warmed your heart, where they might have had the opposite effect on some.   Bless you and your family.   And, yes, God be good to your dear Da.

Genie

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-Apr 29, 2011
From: eddie1
Date: 30 Apr 11 - 03:53 PM

Hi Mick

We have never had any contact on Mudcat but you are one of the few whose posts I always enjoyed reading and found a lot of sense in.
Right now is hard but having lost both parents I can tell you the time will come when you can look back on the happy times and smile, laugh out loud and enjoy them all over again without the pain.

You have given up a fair chunk of your life for your Dad - now is the time to get out there and find it again. That's what he would want.

My thoughts are with you

Eddie

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-Apr 29, 2011
From: AllisonA(Animaterra)
Date: 30 Apr 11 - 03:07 PM

Dearest Mic, I'm so glad I popped into the Mudcat today and so sad that you are going through the hard times with the loss of your Da and all. You are in my heart and all our hearts and you know where to find us when you need us. My own father died three years ago this May 26 and I miss him every day, even though he was not able to set for me the example that your Da was for you.

Tonight I will be celebrating the 80th birthday of a good man, not my father, who did much for one kind of music I love, contra dance music. While I celebrate Dudley Laufman, I will be thinking of you.

Bless you.

Allison

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-Apr 29, 2011
From: SINSULL
Date: 30 Apr 11 - 02:50 PM

Take some time to take care of yourself Mick. I am sorry you have lost your father but glad his pain is over.
Mary

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-Apr 29, 2011
From: Bill D
Date: 30 Apr 11 - 11:50 AM

You have always signed your posts "All the best".... and that's what you gave for those you loved.
Here's hoping you know that's what we all wish for YOU.

Glad to see you....

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-Apr 29, 2011
From: catspaw49
Date: 30 Apr 11 - 11:08 AM

"I could write a book on the lessons, good and bad, that I have learned from his life and his passing. Maybe one day I will, but in the meantime, I am just sad. I will miss this man."

And you'll be sad for awhile..............When I was 18 my Mom died. That evening when I had returned from Berea I found my Dad far and away sadder than I had ever seen him. We sat in their bedroom and he said, "You'll never have a day you won't think of her." He was right of course and I thought of that when he died just a few years later. Now, 40 years out from that time, every day I recognize how really true that is and how much else I learned from him. Funny thing........I have lived longer on this earth than either of them and yet I still have many times I wish I could ask their advice and feel the love it often contained.

For those of us who were blessed with great parents, losing them is always hard but as you know their memories will soon fill the heart with a wonderful memories but there will always be that tinge of sadness which is at it should be.   

You're well loved here Brother but you know that too. Karen and I send our best thoughts to all of you.......and never apologize to me again...................


Spaw

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-Apr 29, 2011
From: wysiwyg
Date: 30 Apr 11 - 10:53 AM

Mick,

Retreat/recovery space still here. Dharmabum's place also within reach. His dau is working on her whistle, too.

You'll be in our prayers.

~Susan

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-Apr 29, 2011
From: Charley Noble
Date: 30 Apr 11 - 09:57 AM

Mick-

It's been a long two years and you've certainly put a lot of energy into trying to sustain your father at some decent quality of life under difficult circumstances.

My own father passed away October 22, 2003. He's still with me now in my mind but my memory has filtered out the desperate last two weeks. I tend to remember the more positive times, and a few of the rougher ones! I'm not sure how well I'd have fared for the much longer period that you cared for your father but I would have tried.

Welcome back.

Charley Noble

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-Apr 29, 2011
From: katlaughing
Date: 30 Apr 11 - 09:53 AM

{{{{Mick & Family}}}}

Thank you, darlin', for coming "home." You've been missed and many thoughts have been sent your way. Sorry it has come to this, so hard to lose a parent.

(Night Owl dropped out a few years ago to take care of her mother, now 101, and her aunt, at 98, who is in the last stages of dementia, etc. I am in awe of what she endures, not only in personal care, but also financial, medical, etc. as an advocate for both of them. The sheer physical toll it takes on her is unbelievable.)

I hope you will be able to spend some time up on your hill with the low D whistle and replenish your spirit.

luvyakat

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-Apr 29, 2011
From: Bonnie Shaljean
Date: 30 Apr 11 - 09:46 AM

Mick, it's so good to hear your voice again, even though the reason is so sad. Please know our thoughts are with you, and that you do your father honour. Write that book, a testament to a life well-lived, in your own beautiful words. You know we'll be here for you - any hour, day or night. Love, respect, and consolences -

Bonnie

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-Apr 29, 2011
From: Cool Beans
Date: 30 Apr 11 - 09:17 AM

Many condolences, Mick. I like what you wrote.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-Apr 29, 2011
From: open mike
Date: 30 Apr 11 - 09:15 AM

Mick, thank you for sharing with us!
(with so many of us in so many ways)
I applaud your strength and wish you
more to be able to continue your good
work and your good life. Blessings to
you and your family!!

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-Apr 29, 2011
From: kendall
Date: 30 Apr 11 - 09:01 AM

What can anyone say at 5times such as these, except we love you man.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-Apr 29, 2011
From: DebC
Date: 30 Apr 11 - 08:35 AM

Brother Mick,

I am so sorry for your loss. Sounds like your Da was a wonderful man, even though it was hard the last few years.

As you know, I am a phone call away. Thanks for standing tall against the injustices of this world and I am sure that your Da was ever so proud of you and the work that you have done and continue to do.

Your Union sister in solidarity and peace,
Debra

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-Apr 29, 2011
From: Wesley S
Date: 30 Apr 11 - 08:31 AM

So sorry for your loss Mick. But it sounds like you know how to celibrate his life in proper style. Thanks for your stories. Share more when you can.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-Apr 29, 2011
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 30 Apr 11 - 07:54 AM

I can't add anything to what others have said

love to you & your family from sandra

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-Apr 29, 2011
From: Janie
Date: 30 Apr 11 - 07:47 AM

Peace be with you and your family, Mick.

Your father raised a good man.

Janie

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-Apr 29, 2011
From: jacqui.c
Date: 30 Apr 11 - 07:12 AM

((((((((((((((Mick & family)))))))))))))

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-Apr 29, 2011
From: Morticia
Date: 30 Apr 11 - 06:34 AM

You and your family have my love and my fondest thoughts as always, Mick. He sounds like he was a wonderful man and he will live on through you and your music, what greater inheritance could there be?

love

Terri xx

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-Apr 29, 2011
From: ranger1
Date: 30 Apr 11 - 06:29 AM

Oh, Mick, I'm so sorry. (((Mick)))

Tami

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-Apr 29, 2011
From: GUEST
Date: 30 Apr 11 - 05:50 AM

Thoughts and prayers buddy. And I echo the posts above.

Yer one of the good guys.

Gary

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-Apr 29, 2011
From: Keith A of Hertford
Date: 30 Apr 11 - 04:56 AM

Glad you found the strength to endure such trials Mick.
Good to see you back.
keith.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-Apr 29, 2011
From: alanabit
Date: 30 Apr 11 - 03:26 AM

Glad to have you back Mick. I was outraged to read that after his "Medicare Part B" ran out, that he was simply abandoned by the system. That would not happen in any civilised country which I know. You have obviously spent your life fighting for the right things. Wish I could say more to help. Thinking of you.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-Apr 29, 2011
From: Lizzie Cornish 1
Date: 30 Apr 11 - 02:53 AM

The wonderful father raised a wonderful son, Mick. You are his legacy, and heck, what a legacy your dear Dad has left behind.

Much love to you and your family....your Mum and Dad, Ciara too.   

May you now, over the next months/years be able to rest, find peace and have loads of love and caring yourself.

With love,
Lizzie x



PS: *Write* the book, Mick, for your words have always moved me, sometimes to tears, and I'm sure I'm not alone. You have a natural Gift of Words, as well as Love.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-Apr 29, 2011
From: Ebbie
Date: 30 Apr 11 - 02:16 AM

Good to hear from you, and the biggest {{{{{{{HUG}}}}}}} ever.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-May 5, 2009
From: Big Mick
Date: 30 Apr 11 - 12:41 AM

Home again ...... at least that is what it feels like. As soon as I walk in the "door" to Mudcat, I feel like I am where I belong. I feel like I owe an update to you all, and I should explain my scarcity in these parts......

I sit here on the eve of my father's memorial service, which I will moderate, deliver the eulogy, and sing at. After an incredible fight, Da passed into the lonesome valley on April 13. I was standing at the top of the steps of the State Capitol at a giant rally in Lansing, Michigan. I was 2 minutes from starting an hour solo set for a crowd of 7,000+, when I got the word that he passed. It was a difficult set, especially when I came to MacColl's "My Old Man". I always have sung this in honor of my father. Let me tell you why.

I must have been about 14 or so. My father came home and called me over. He told me to shake his hand. "Son, an hour ago I shook hands with Jimmy Hoffa with that hand". "Great" sez I, "who's Jimmy Hoffa?" My father sat me down and told me all about the struggle for decent pension, health insurance, fair wages and working conditions. He hauled out his dues book and explained about what the dues were and what they paid for, and how that was why we could live decent. Later in that same year, on our way home from a fishing trip, my dad stopped for a beer, and I was over playing shuffleboard with my cousins. My dad was at the bar, and called me to him. He was arguing with the fella beside him. As I drew near, he grabbed me and said, "See this kid. He gets glasses when he needs them, goes to the dentist every six months, I make more money than you, have better benefits than you, got a decent pension plan, and if Jimmy Hoffa wants $2.00 more a month from me, he doesn't have to steal it, I will give it to him. Go on and play shuffleboard, Mick". And I scooted back to the game.

It has been a difficult 3 years. For six weeks I slept at the hospital when he first went in and we didn't know if he would live. When his Medicare Part B ran out, I had to take him to his home, move in with him and nurse him. He was being tube fed by me, had a stage 4 bedsore on his coccyx, and was incontinent. I didn't get a solid 4 hours sleep at any time in those 3 months. Just before I brought him home, Mom went down with a stroke (see above). At one point, I realized that he was not of sound mind, and I had to have him taken for a psych/med evaluation. They found he had vascular dementia and some psychosis, in addition to the medical problems. The doctor asked me what the hell led me to believe I could care for him. But if I hadn't, he would have lost the house and been destitute. I couldn't allow that to happen. After I got him admitted to a nursing facility, he wouldn't speak to me for months. It broke my heart. But I continued to take care of his needs. Eventually we resolved the issues, and became father and son again. About 8 months ago, he was diagnosed with lung cancer and chose not to have treatment. The clock ran out on April 13, 2011. God be good to him.

I could write a book on the lessons, good and bad, that I have learned from his life and his passing. Maybe one day I will, but in the meantime, I am just sad. I will miss this man.

To my friends, like Spaw, whose trials I have been absent from, please know that I love you and apologize. Life just hasn't afforded me much time here, as I dealt with Ciara's tragedy, my father's burst abdominal aortic aneurysm, and my mother's stroke.

Yeah, my old man was a union man. I will sing his song all the days of my life.

All the best,

Mick

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-May 5, 2009
From: AllisonA(Animaterra)
Date: 17 May 09 - 05:27 PM

I know about the healing power of Mudcat shawls. I'm glad your mother has one, and that she has you, dear friend. Holding you and her and your whole family in my heart.

Allison

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-May 5, 2009
From: Pistachio
Date: 17 May 09 - 04:21 PM

Checking in - hope all these hugs are doing their duty.
Please accept just one more today.
H.x

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-May 5, 2009
From: bbc
Date: 12 May 09 - 07:07 AM

Just checked in, Mick, after ages away. I am so sorry for your family's troubles. You are on my heart & in my prayers. I think your mom passed that great heart on to you.

love,

Barbara

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-May 5, 2009
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 11 May 09 - 04:30 PM

Wonderful to that purple mudcat hug shrug shawl thing. How lovely.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-May 5, 2009
From: Pistachio
Date: 11 May 09 - 03:52 PM

It seems to me that Mudcat will never run out of its support, prayers, and good thoughts.
Mick, you said "I know I have pretty well used up my quota, but the need is great."
I don't know you but I offer all the support I can, all the good thoughts too.

I have a lovely friend who has 'jumped in roses and come up smelling of ****'. She has suffered so many mishaps and misfortunes in the 20 years I've known her, lost babies, had dangerously ill children, meningitis, car accidents and is now reliant on a motorised wheelchair yet she keeps smiling through. I saw her this weekend and (before seeing this reprised thread) thanked my lucky stars and remembered that I wanted to check in on Mudcat and your post after your daughter and friend had their accident.
Well, here I am, wishing the best for your Mother, Father and Daughter. I hope that my good thoughts add to the humungous(!) support from 'catters.

You also said "I will sing again, but somehow I suspect it will be with a bit of sadness", ...well, it seems you are singing and the sadness you feared isn't there for those who hear you.
No, I don't know you, but you inspire me.
Keep yourself safe and accept all this Mudcat love. You deserve it more than most ...
and... Jean, thank you for your wise words. We can all learn so much from each other.
Off to light my candle for your family - and any 'catters' who need good thoughts.
Hazel. x

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-May 5, 2009
From: My guru always said
Date: 10 May 09 - 06:37 AM

My heart goes out to you and your Mother Mick. Wonderful words and people in this world, keep on singing.
Hil

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-May 5, 2009
From: Crowhugger
Date: 10 May 09 - 12:24 AM

Oh Mick, too much to adjust to, too much to absorb. True nonsense. Love and hugs to you and yours.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-May 5, 2009
From: GUEST,Dani
Date: 09 May 09 - 11:00 AM

Mick, I think of you and your family daily. This thread has been a wonderful gathering place for good thoughts and words, reflections shared and unspoken.

Enjoy the day with your mother tomorrow. And remember, as Pete Seeger said, parents work for the high wages! Kisses! It's that simple. She's so fortunate to have you with her, and all who gather there are blessed.

Dani

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-May 5, 2009
From: GUEST,JedMarum
Date: 09 May 09 - 09:59 AM

Lovely, loving thoughts - wishes well across the ether.

kindness and wisdom spoken here.

God Bless you and yours, Mick.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-May 5, 2009
From: jacqui.c
Date: 09 May 09 - 09:39 AM

The least I could do Mick. I'm glad she liked it.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-May 5, 2009
From: Big Mick
Date: 09 May 09 - 09:24 AM

Quick update. I delivered jacqui's "mudcat hug" (purple knit shawl) last night. My mother has not had it of her shoulders since. She loved it!!

Thank you, dear friend, from the bottom of my heart!!

Mick

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-May 5, 2009
From: Tinker
Date: 09 May 09 - 07:38 AM

(((Allan))) It is so good to hear your voice.

Mick, this thread has become a wonderful gift.

thanks

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-May 5, 2009
From: Allan C.
Date: 09 May 09 - 06:39 AM

Mick,

You have sat on the edge of the cliff before, my friend. The gods and muses told you what to do then and they are speaking to you again. We here have all had times when we felt that our music was our only refuge and and dearest friends our only solace - or times when we forgot that. You have heard the voices once again and they are telling you the comfort you seek is to be found in the sharing of your gifts and in the voices of your friends. You have no control of the things that have befallen you. You can only do what you can, and what you can is to continue to give of yourself to others who may not even know how much they need your gifts until they receive them.

Be well, my friend, and continue to know that your many friends are here to help you, as best they can, to carry the load.

Sending all the love I hold for you, I proudly remain your friend,

Allan

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-May 5, 2009
From: KT
Date: 09 May 09 - 02:51 AM

Thanks for the update, Mick. Thinking of you....KT

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-May 5, 2009
From: Mrrzy
Date: 08 May 09 - 10:13 PM

We love you, dear. Thank you for giving us the chance to help.   Keep leaning, we'll be here.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-May 5, 2
From: Charley Noble
Date: 08 May 09 - 08:52 PM

Mick-

That's as good as it gets.

Cheerily,
Charley Noble

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-May 5, 2009
From: nutty
Date: 08 May 09 - 04:49 PM

I'm not sure if it's relevant or appropriate but I would like to share this song that I have written for someone very dear to me.


WHEN THE TRUMPET SOUNDS

When the trumpet sounds at the end of the day
We will rock you, we will rock you
When it sounds your going away
We will rock you in our arms
For the good times and the bad
For the happy and the sad
For all the times together we've had
We will rock you in our arms

When the trumpet sounds at the end of the day
We will hold you, we will hold you
When it sounds your going away
We will hold you in our hearts
For the good times and the bad
For the happy and the sad
For all the times together we've had
We will hold you in our hearts

When the trumpet sounds at the end of the day
We will love you, we will love you
When it sounds your going away
We will love you evermore
For the good times and the bad
For the happy and the sad
For all the times together we've had
We will love you evermore

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-May 5, 2009
From: Alice
Date: 08 May 09 - 03:13 PM

Mick, here is wishing you a great mother's day with your mom.

Take care,
Alice

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-May 5, 2009
From: open mike
Date: 08 May 09 - 03:09 PM

lyrics to the you tube clip i posted
WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN? BY KATHY MATTEA
Claire had all but given up
When she and Edwin fell in love
She touched his face and shook her head
In disbelief she sighed and said
In many dreams I've held you near
Now at last you're really here

Chorus
Where have you been?
I've looked for you for ever and a day
Where have you been?
I'm just not myself when you're away

He asked her for her hand for life
Then she became a salesman's wife
He was home each night by 8
But one stormy evening he was late
Her frightened tears fell to the floor
Until his key turned in the door

Chorus

They'd never spent a night apart
For 60 yrs she heard him snore
Now they're in a hospital
In seperate beds on different floors

Claire soon lost her memory, forgot the names of family
She never spoke a word again
Then one day they wheeled him in
He held her hand and stroked her hair
In a fragile voice she said

Chorus

Where have you been
I've searched for you forever and a day
Where have you been
I'm just not myself when your away
I'm just not myself when your away
(perhaps i should do a lyrics add thread if this is not in D.T.)

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-May 5, 2009
From: open mike
Date: 08 May 09 - 02:48 PM

Jean's post is a good place to begin!

Thanks, Pat for the Desiderata

I am so glad to hear that you brought your music to share..
I know it made them all feel better...and you too!!

When both of my parents were in hospital and care facilities,
i could not help but cry when i heard this song..by Kathy Mattea

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aHzMGM9qyZw&feature=related

hang in there...and know that you are loved!!

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-May 5, 2009
From: frogprince
Date: 08 May 09 - 01:31 PM

I just caught up with this thread again, beginning with Jean's post.

I love this "place".
                   Dean

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-May 5, 2009
From: Lizzie Cornish 1
Date: 08 May 09 - 01:31 PM

Much, much love, Mick. xx

Buy your Mum a purple velvet hat and write her a song.. :0)

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-May 5, 2009
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 08 May 09 - 01:15 PM

This Mudcat place is pure magic. Get to witness and take part in caring for one another. So glad I fell into it.

Still keeping you and yours in my thoughts.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-May 5, 2009
From: Partridge
Date: 08 May 09 - 01:06 PM

Oh Mick, I'm so very sorry to hear about your Mum. She sound like a fighter and I know from experience that the people who master having a stroke are the fighters.

But you also have to look after yourself, remember to eat and breathe. Stress has a very debilitating effect on the body, take some time out for a massage or something like that. Get your mum an aromatherapy massage - it can only do good.

Sometimes trying to sing when you are upset doesn't work right. I know when my dad was ill I tried to sing the songs we sang together and for a while It was like trying to sing while being strangled. I couldn't get the sound out, but out I'm sure your music will come back and who knows may be the better for it. There are some people who sing and there are others who make you feel like they know whats going on in your head - makes me think of "killing me softly"

I'm sorry I'm rambling, all I really wany you to know is that there are many who are wishing you and yours well and sending you much, much love.

And not forgetting your Dad, I am hoping he has a good recovery.

Remember that in amongst all this horrible stuff thats going on that

"you are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars: you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. therefore be at peace with God - whatever you concieve him to be. And whatever your labours and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul. With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy."

I have this pinned on my fridge - i should stop and read it more often.

Thinking of you Mick
love
Patrish xxxxx

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-May 5, 2009
From: Fortunato
Date: 08 May 09 - 01:01 PM

Mick,

When, as I know you have, you have given all you had each day, turned every adversity to a challenge, and done what you ought to have done,
then you are entitled to rest, sleep and rejuvenation.

You are your art, and that art is being the Mick you believe yourself to be.

Believe in a strong, courageous, compassionate Mick.

I do.

chance

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-May 5, 2009
From: katlaughing
Date: 08 May 09 - 12:29 PM

Yes!! No mystery where you get your strength, Mick. Thanks for takign some moments to update us. Good on all fronts it sounds like. Keep singing and love to all.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-May 5, 2009
From: Janie
Date: 08 May 09 - 12:18 PM

There you go, Mick!

Thanks for the update. Prayers on wings still headed north to Michigan.

Janie

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-May 5, 2
From: Big Mick
Date: 08 May 09 - 12:02 PM

I read Jean's incredibly generous post last night and just sat there stunned and pondering the depth of this wise friend's gift. Her voice is a gift from the Almighty, for which she received without asking. She had nothing whatever to do with it's creation. But how she uses that same treasure is her gift to us. Here is a woman that is a national treasure. She could easily rest on her lifetime of accomplishment and receive the accolades she so richly deserves. And in the midst of her own trials, she takes time out to share her wisdom with a half hindended folksinger from Michigan and the rest of us. Not only did she share her wisdom, but she bared her soul. I am grateful beyond belief, and will treasure these words all the days of my life. As I am grateful for all the love and concern expressed by all of you.

I also received, last night, a beautiful "Mudcat hug" (handknitted shawl) as a gift to my Mother from jacqui. She enclosed a wonderful personal note to my Mom that starts out "Dear Naughty Grandma, Now that is a title I aspire to ....." . I will be giving that to my mother this afternoon. She will love it!

Chas, you will be pleased to know that I grabbed the old Larrivee and took it to the hospital and played for the folks in two wards. As I was playing for Mom and the folks on her floor, one of my kin came to visit and let me know that my cousin was two floors up with heart problems. Damn, another one!! So me and the old Larrivee headed up and played for those folks for an hour or so. A nurse, one of the true Angels of Mercy, came to me and said she wished I would stay all night. When I think of that comment, especially when I ponder it in terms of Jean's sharing of her gifts and wisdom, I can see the selfishness of my opening comments about not singing. We are given gifts and the question is, how will we use them? Our Jean asks daily that she be shown the tasks yet to be accomplished, and that she leaves fond memories behind. One of her tasks, it seems to me, was to show me, by her amazing example, that all of this is not about me and the load I am caused to bear. It is more about me taking the gifts I have been given and using them to help friends and family through the long valley. And to leave fond memories. Thanks, Jean, for your wisdom, love, and friendship.

My mom is simply amazing. She has charmed the hospital staff with her attitude and her beautiful smile. She is already embracing her situation and turning it to lemonade. We will get through this.

All the best,

Mick

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-May 5, 2009
From: jacqui.c
Date: 08 May 09 - 10:32 AM

What everyone else said Jean. Thank you.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-May 5, 2009
From: Tinker
Date: 08 May 09 - 09:18 AM

I hope some day that kind of Grace can find its way through me....

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-May 5, 2009
From: maeve
Date: 08 May 09 - 08:49 AM

Thank you, Jean. Your post was what I needed exactly now.

Mick, you are doing the work. We are here as witnesses to grace.

maeve

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-May 5, 2009
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 May 09 - 08:24 AM

Gee, Jean, what a stupid letter. I'd like to write a letter that stupid so that I'd look stupid too. I can't; I'm not wise enough.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-May 5, 2
From: Max
Date: 08 May 09 - 08:18 AM

I love this place. Mick, you know my heart is with you. Jean, please keep posting stupid letters.

max

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-May 5, 2009
From: MartinRyan
Date: 08 May 09 - 04:09 AM

Jean

Would that we were all able to write such "stupid" letters! Thank you.

Regards

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-May 5, 2
From: georgeward
Date: 08 May 09 - 03:12 AM

Ah, Jean!

If I'm ever brave and articulate enough to write something that direct about approaching the end of life.....

"Stupid letter", my North Country foot!

Every now and again, one of us makes Mudcat worthwhile. It's what we're trying to do for Mick. It sounds as though we'd be well employed trying to do it for you and yours.

You just did it for some of us.

Thanks, dear one. One more time.

- George

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-May 5, 2
From: bseed(charleskratz)
Date: 08 May 09 - 12:05 AM

Mick, do you ever go in with your guitar and sing for your mom? Great therapy for both of you. I've been doing music therapy for years, starting back when our weekly sessions' hostess Sally came down with encephalitis--I'd bring in the banjo and play for her, even though she was unconscious; other patients and the nurses and other med staff liked it. When she started coming out of it, I continued, and when she was in a nursing home, and when fading parents of other group members were in nursing homes, several of us would get together and do concerts for the groups. When Sally had recovered, she went back to doing some music therapy sessions at a center for adult victims of brain trauma, I joined her, and when she started finding it too taxing, I continued by myself--this has been going on for five years or so. I have a loyal bunch of fans there who love my spirituals and love songs and funny songs and just my banjo and harmonica playing (their favorite song from my repertoire, believe it or not, is "The Overflowing Cat-box Blues.") I may soon begin doing song sessions in the waiting room of a comprehensive cancer center. All the best to you, my friend.

Charles

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-May 5, 2009
From: Ebbie
Date: 07 May 09 - 10:59 PM

Charley Noble, here is a Coleman site that offers table top battery lamps. Under $17.00. Takes 4 D batteries. I got mine at a garage sale for #1.00!   It's great. I used mine last winter as a power-out reading lamp. Hey, when I can't get on the Mudcat, at least I can read.

http://www.safetycentral.com/inlam.html

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-May 5, 2009
From: catspaw49
Date: 07 May 09 - 10:46 PM

Thanks Jean.....

It is the wisdom and understanding of age that you tell. My Mom's best friend Marg has been as close to me as a mother all my life and has filled that role since my Mom died. She's your age and not two weeks ago we had a conversation and much of what she said you say as well and almost verbatim. If age takes away so very much, and it does, then I think it also imparts certain truths that can make all the rest more comfortable and comforting to accept......and more pleasurable and better to go on with the living.

Thanks Jean......once again..........and always........

Spaw

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-May 5, 2009
From: Tinker
Date: 07 May 09 - 10:43 PM

"In my personal prayers, I always say in my thoughts, "Lord, I'll stay as long as You need me, so show me what to do..." --Kytrad

Thanks for doing what you were shown...
May we all share the vision and the strength

Hey Mick ... 'pears to be a posse of wise women circling round. Be aware.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-May 5, 2009
From: Uncle Phil
Date: 07 May 09 - 10:36 PM

One of life's blessings is that we're able to lean on our family and friends when in need, or prop them up if that's what is needed. It would be a cold, lonely world otherwise. My 93 year-old Mom, when faced with medical indignities, tells me that old age isn't for cowards.
- Phil

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-May 5, 2
From: Charley Noble
Date: 07 May 09 - 09:48 PM

Jean-

Nothing you can say would appear stupid. It's life's wisdom.

It can't be easy to be a few years ahead of us in life experience. My mother who is 91 is still actively painting but she knows she is doing that year by year, and there is so much that she is unable to do because her body just won't. Still, she says she gets much more done, when it's a painting, then she was able to do when she was younger, because she knows what she wants to do! However, she'd like to chuck her walker and she'd like to be able to see what she's eating when she's at a restaurant with friends when the light is romantically dimmed. We're looking around for an appropriate battery operated lantern for the restaurants but there's not a thing we can do about her lack of balance.

So continue to do what you're able to do, and continue to astound and delight us.

Cheerily,
Charley Noble

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-May 5, 2009
From: katlaughing
Date: 07 May 09 - 09:28 PM

Writ on my heart, Jean, WiseWomon...thank you.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-May 5, 2
From: Janie
Date: 07 May 09 - 09:16 PM

Wrong adjective, Jean.

Wise. Wise and honest. Thanks for that.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-May 5, 2009
From: kytrad (Jean Ritchie)
Date: 07 May 09 - 09:10 PM

Here. We're back- son Jon from a two-week hospital stay,still having tests after getting home as they still can't find what the trouble is. George from another series of test, taking 18 different pills a day, soon to be told to start dialysis. Myself growling around the house with a hundred aches and pains. I can see and feel big changes coming, and know that this long Growing-Old part of our lives is coming to an end--- We ARE old! I start reading sympathetically about poor OLD people, and suddenly it hits me: What? I myself am 86. What do we do with our house? Man- all these taxes, who'll pay them next year? Will we go to a nursing home? Have a live-in nurse? I tell you, it's so hard when you finally realize that Life makes you keep on learning- right up to the end. I guess, as long as I can understand Life's messages, I'll be able to go on.

And I tell myself, "Just think of all the people that ever lived in this world. How many problems and worries and tragedies have they endured, along with the fewer joys and goodtimes and successes? And, when you come down to it, one is one and all alone and evermore shall be so. Or another way of putting it, You got to cross that lonesome valley by yourself.

I don't dread it, once I accept it. I have so loved my Mother and Father, all my gaggle of sisters, my three brothers (only one out of all of them is still in the world with me). We hurt with them if they have pain at the end, but we cannot go with them or ease that journey. Someone said, "The dead always look peaceful." I believe they are. I believe that they have walked the valley and found at last the destination we all are are striving to find. What else is Life, but a trip towards something higher and better? People who have almost died, have talked of being in a dark tunnel with a faint but bright light far ahead; then their passage is forbidden and they have to turn from the light and return to Life- to do an unfinished task there? To help or guide someone else for awhile longer?

I wonder- but it doesn't matter, does it? None of us can live forever. We must live Life to the fullest, then give those behind us a loving farewell. That's what I hope I can do.

I'll stop, because I don't know what I'm trying to say, but I thought it ought to be said. I guess I was trying to understand, myself, that not all of us CAN live to be old, or WANT to, and so arrive earlier at that entrance into the next world. In my personal prayers, I always say in my thoughts, "Lord, I'll stay as long as You need me, so show me what to do..."

Big Mick, feel better, and I hope that Fate, or Karma, or whatever, eases up on you. I know you'll be needed in this Life for a long time, so take the reins that have been handed to you, and have a good, long run. You have many who love you and are running along with you, and that lonesome valley is still far away.

Love to you all, Jean
PS: Darn- I bet y'all will think this is a stupid letter, and tomorrow I may think so myself! But it's what I felt like saying.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-May 5, 2009
From: Charmion
Date: 07 May 09 - 04:11 PM

I'm sorry to hear of your trouble, Mick, and sorry to be so laggard in catching on.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-May 5, 2009
From: GUEST,Slag
Date: 07 May 09 - 02:40 AM

Big Mick, you are one of the most level-headed guys here at the 'Cat, never afraid to look at something from both sides or even a third side that no one had noticed. And Peace is right on, you are a big hearted fellow. I deeply appreciate that. My heart goes out to you and I do understand your grief, at least in part at any rate. My prayers ARE with you now. Be kind, gentle and forgiving---to yourself. I pray for your Mom. My Mom is 83 and has been widowed now three years. We do what we can when we can. God bless,

Tom

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-May 5, 2009
From: scouse
Date: 07 May 09 - 02:38 AM

Just back up with New computer, Oh,dear, Mick this shouldn't happen to you. My thoughts and love go out to you. I'm lost for words.
As Aye,
Phil

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-May 5, 2
From: georgeward
Date: 07 May 09 - 02:26 AM

No quota, Mick. We all need what we need when life goes hard, and in helping each other through we help ourselves as well.

I'm trying to imagine, though, what joyful chaos it would be if we could all-at-once, all of us, descend from this virtual cloud, stand at your door and sing FOR you.

We'd bring our own beer.

- G

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-May 5, 2
From: Genie
Date: 07 May 09 - 01:23 AM

Mick, there is no quota for support here at Mudcat, and even if there were, you are a long way from using up yours.

My thoughts and prayers are once again with you and your family, especially your wonderful mom.

Please don't ever let these unfair slings that are slung at you kill the music in your big o' heart.

Genie

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-May 5, 2009
From: Ebbie
Date: 06 May 09 - 09:44 PM

Heal quickly and well, Skarpi.

That sentiment fits for your mother too, Mick. And perhaps you also.

You are in the midst of an energy stream, Mick. Rest in it.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-May 5, 2
From: Janie
Date: 06 May 09 - 08:27 PM

Hope your Mom is stabilized, Mick. Holding all of you to the light.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-May 5, 2009
From: skarpi
Date: 06 May 09 - 01:10 PM

Well the test goes on , this is the school of life I am in fourth grade
now , so I guess you are somewhere near me .

Your mom dorve her to the hostpital , well if thats not will to keep on livin , I dont know hat is , I am so sorry to hear all this Mick
but you all will get through this .

we do that in time .

I am here now at home with broken legs, and I too drove to the hostspital with the leg already broken so ........ more people
do this thing .

Your mom is a hero , she went to the hostspital and got help ASAP
and that is a big plus , I pray for her to come back on her right sight .

Mick all the best to you and your family stay strong , and remember
you must passed the test , he has given you .

All the best Skarpi Iceland .

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-May 5, 2009
From: katlaughing
Date: 06 May 09 - 12:32 PM

Light and Love coming your way, Mickdarlin'.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-May 5, 2009
From: Sandy Mc Lean
Date: 06 May 09 - 01:00 AM

Mick, your friends are with you! Life's most weighty burden is a heavy heart. Perhaps we can shoulder some small part of the load! Many of us have walked that road and understand that it has no end, but the going gets easier on the far side of the hill. Hoping that the best for you will prevail!
                      Sandy

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-May 5, 2009
From: Uncle Phil
Date: 05 May 09 - 11:45 PM

My sister and I are going to drive from Dallas to Baton Rouge and back this weekend to visit Mom and take care of some stuff for her. I've been grumbling about the long drive and all the things I'd rather do than spending a day at the old folks home. Mick, after reading your post I suddenly find myself looking forward to the trip. You say that your mother doesn't deserve this burden, and I believe that. But it makes me wonder what in God's name she and your dad ever did to deserve a son like you to help them carry their burdens.
- Phil

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-May 5, 2009
From: Art Thieme
Date: 05 May 09 - 10:48 PM

Mick,
I've no words either--like many others here. I do have a story I sometimes remember when I'm in need of it.

A fellow is trying to get home. The driving wind and rain has turned the countryside into a quagmire of mud. Every time he is able to achieve one step forward, he falls back three steps. Turning around, he went in the opposite direction-----and eventually he got home.

Love to you all,

Art

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-May 5, 2
From: Marion
Date: 05 May 09 - 10:06 PM

Hello Mick. I'm sorry to hear that you have more bad news. I hope the best for you, your mom, and all your family.

Love, Marion

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-May 5, 2009
From: Barbara Shaw
Date: 05 May 09 - 09:31 PM

Mick, we're all thinking of you and that has to be some comfort to know you're not alone with this burden. My father had an aortic abdominal aneurysm 10 years ago and did not survive, so think about how lucky you are to have the gift of these extra days with your Dad. The bad times will pass eventually, possibly to return, possibly to stay away. When it's all over, it's surely not about how easy our lives were, it's more about what we did with what we had. Sent with love...

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-May 5, 2
From: Charley Noble
Date: 05 May 09 - 09:24 PM

As your good friend Kitty Donohoe has said "There are no words," only a commitment to help our friends and family members carry on as best we can.

I've been listening to your songs, the old ones re-released and the newer ones, on my way back from Michigan to Maine. You too have provided many others some comfort that they are not alone, Those songs are damn good!

Charley Noble

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-May 5, 2
From: Ron Davies
Date: 05 May 09 - 09:09 PM

So sorry, Mick,, that your troubles are crowding in on you. Your faith--and possibly even your music--will carry you through. Even singing to yourself may help.   And you know you have a world of friends here who wish the best for you and will always be here to hear anything you want to say.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-May 5, 2
From: Andrez
Date: 05 May 09 - 08:08 PM

There's so much sadness and tragedy in the world today. The love and good wishes sent to you Mick by Mudcatters reading this thread must surely push back the darkness if only a little bit further.

Singing and making music hold the darkness at bay as well, although if you are down I guess thats a little harder to believe. All I can suggest is that if you cant sing, then find some space in the day or at least in the week to play some tunes: there are so many beautiful airs out there that say in sound what words cant. It might just help lighten up your heart and bring back some more of the light into your household again.

On the other hand if you find you really cant do that and find that important parts of you are "shutting down" and you feel you cant stop the process please, please, please go and talk to someone and get some professional help :-)

Love and light from yer Australian friends too,

Andrez

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-May 5, 2009
From: AllisonA(Animaterra)
Date: 05 May 09 - 08:05 PM

Dearest Mick-
Words aren't enough. Light and love and a huge, encompassing cyber hug to you and your mom and dad and family.

Allison

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-May 5, 2009
From: Hawker
Date: 05 May 09 - 07:56 PM

Mick! Sending lots of love and healing thoughts to you right now. Holding you and yours in my thoughts and prayersCheers, Lucy x

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-May 5, 2009
From: Tinker
Date: 05 May 09 - 07:05 PM

Mick m'love..... blessings and light and all that shines brightest in the dark of night... Just remember that you've done your best to join into the harmonies and now take a moment and listen to it echo back to you... It takes many voices to make that amazing goose bump sound... don't try to carry the tune alone.

Love and Light

tink

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-May 5, 2009
From: Joybell
Date: 05 May 09 - 06:45 PM

So sorry, Mick. My thoughts and love to you and yours.
Joy

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-May 5, 2009
From: Peace
Date: 05 May 09 - 06:13 PM

Mick,

You are one of the people here I value most--despite more than a few differences over the years. You are one truly tough, good, soft-hearted and caring person.


There are a few of these on the 'net, but they say essentially the same thing.

A Grandfather from the Cherokee Nation was talking with his grandson.

"A fight is going on inside me," he said to the boy.

"It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves."

"One wolf is evil and ugly: He is anger, envy, war, greed, self-pity, sorrow, regret, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, selfishness and arrogance."

"The other wolf is beautiful and good: He is friendly, joyful, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, justice, fairness, empathy, generosity, true, compassion, gratitude, and deep VISION."

"This same fight is going on inside you, and inside every other human as well."

The grandson paused in deep reflection because of what his grandfather had just said. Then he finally cried out, "Oyee! Grandfather, which wolf will win?"

The elder Cherokee replied, "The wolf that you feed."


You are the second wolf, Mick. You be as strong as you can, and if you need help to walk for a bit, let us know. All trails leave only one set of footprints in the sand at times. No one ever does it alone. Not your mom, not you, none of us.

Best to you, buddy.

Bruce

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-May 5, 2009
From: artbrooks
Date: 05 May 09 - 06:08 PM

Mick, I've never been very good with words - I guess that comes with being a management poyk - so I can't begin to match the wonderful sentiments of all your other friends here. Just know that we are thinking of you.

Art and Jenn

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-May 5, 2009
From: JedMarum
Date: 05 May 09 - 05:58 PM

Time for the low D whistle and quiet space ... the music comes back as does the balance, and grace. My thoughts and prayers are with you, my friend - as are the blessings of this mountain of friends.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-May 5, 2009
From: Neil D
Date: 05 May 09 - 05:41 PM

Sometimes it just never seems to end... our thoughts and prayers are with you and yours.

                                       Christina and Neil

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-May 5, 2009
From: Hollowfox
Date: 05 May 09 - 05:22 PM

"I know I have been crabby ..... no, a complete asshole, at times.."

Let's get one thing straight, chum. After all you've been going through, I'd be worried if you weren't at least "crabby". Hrmph. Now, that being said, remember a few tips. You've been under so much stress for so long that you've probably forgotten a few of these, so:
1) Drive extra carefully, because stress slows your reaction time.
2) Your reading level goes down under stress. You'll still be able to read instructions, etc. but you'll have trouble reading a light novel. It'll come back, though.
3) Ditto short term memory. Write yourself notes.
4) Same for general cognative stuff. Take your time signing legal documents, erc. if you can.

We're pulling for you, even if we can't give you corporeal hugs and backrubs.

And as soon as I get home from work (about 30 minutes), The Genuine Purebred Midwestern $#@!-reduction candle series for you and yours will be started up.

Thanks for letting us know what's going on. Take care, Hollowfox

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-May 5, 2009
From: GUEST,hg
Date: 05 May 09 - 05:10 PM

I bet you can only see one set of footprints when you look down, right now....but they aren't yours, Mickster...

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-May 5, 2009
From: My guru always said
Date: 05 May 09 - 05:10 PM

So sorry to hear this Mick, sending positive thoughts to you and yours across the pond. Candle lit!
Hil

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-May 5, 2009
From: The Sandman
Date: 05 May 09 - 04:53 PM

sorry to hear your awful news.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-May 5, 2009
From: Barry Finn
Date: 05 May 09 - 04:51 PM

HI Mick, so sorry you've been hit so hard these past couple yrs, you deserve better.
If you weren't able to stand the hits Mick they wouldn't be as hard but nature only throws at you what she knows you're able to with stand & you can stand this just as well as you've stood before. Your whole career (not your presently retired career) has been fighting for the others so you'llk fair well in this battle to.
Don't give up on the music, it'll help you through the tough times. I doubt I'll be seeing you this coming weekend now with all this but it would be a good place for you to be if you can see your way to being there, I'll see to it that you get enough music to dull your senses & I won't even pick on you, I promise
Good luck buddy & to better times.

Barry

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-May 5, 2009
From: open mike
Date: 05 May 09 - 04:42 PM

YOU HAVE GIVEN STRENGTH AND COURAGE to so many by just being there...
myself included!! when i was in hospital with my mom, singing helped me get thru it, and also helped carry others along who enjoyed hearing the sounds...

perhaps you could try to make music...i truly believe in the theraputic effects!!

they can do so much for stroke victims these days...

especially if treatment is begun soon...which must be the
case if she drove to the hospital herself. (see previous
thread on strokes....search for it..)

hugs to you ((((( Mick )))))

and to all who are in this with you...

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-May 5, 2009
From: Eve Goldberg
Date: 05 May 09 - 04:32 PM

Mick,

I'm so sorry to hear about everything that's happened with your family. Sending you lots of love from north of the border...

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-May 5, 2009
From: Aeola
Date: 05 May 09 - 03:45 PM

You and yours will pull through but it's hard, be positive, there's a lot of people rooting for you!!

best wishes

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-May 5, 2009
From: MartinRyan
Date: 05 May 09 - 02:43 PM

Big Mick

You mind yourself!

Regards

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-May 5, 2009
From: RangerSteve
Date: 05 May 09 - 02:33 PM

You can add my name to the list of people offering thoughts and prayers.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-May 5, 2009
From: CapriUni
Date: 05 May 09 - 02:08 PM

Well, damn

Big, virtual hugs from here, to you and all of yours, there.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-May 5, 2009
From: Zany Mouse
Date: 05 May 09 - 01:50 PM

Hi Mick

My goodness you have had your fill of bad luck! Sending positive energy your way.

On a brighter side ... I had a major CVA when I was a mere 49 and came through, thanks to the Stroke Unit at a Northwick Park Hospital. Even though I have had several TIAs sinced, I battled through all. It sounds as though your ma has a pretty strong spirit and I'm sure she will do the same. The Stroke Unit told me that attitude has a lot to do with recovery.

I wish her well.

Blessings
Rhiannon

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-May 5, 2009
From: mouldy
Date: 05 May 09 - 12:49 PM

Oh Mick, you have been saddled with, and come through more than most people would be able to cope with, and this just shows what strength you have within you! At some point, whatever has got it in for you is bound to turn its attention elsewhere: I am certain of that!

I agree with Jacqui that at some point T'ai Chi might benefit your mum, as it has been proven to improve balance. It is also relaxing, and this may help if your mum gets a bit frustrated with her progress in recovery. There are even Chi Gung exercises and bits of T'ai Chi that can be done sitting down. The Yang 8 step form is one - we had an MS lady in a wheelchair in our group!

I'll keep you and your family in my thoughts.

Andrea

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-May 5, 2009
From: Jeri
Date: 05 May 09 - 12:49 PM

Hugs, Mick. Not much I can say that would help. It hurts because you DO have people you love who love you. Just have to keep breathing and moving forward and loving them.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-May 5, 2009
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 May 09 - 12:44 PM

This sucks. Why can't it happen to some rotten bastard?

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-May 5, 2009
From: ClaireBear
Date: 05 May 09 - 12:41 PM

Mick, prayers, loving thoughts and music from my part of California for your mother and for you, with plenty left over for your father and Ciara.

I wish there was something more I could do, but prayer, love and song are the best I have to offer. Later, ehen I'm outside the office, I'll try to sing your family some healing.

You've tapped into the Mudcat wellspring; drink deep.

Blessings,
Claire

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-May 5, 2009
From: Bill D
Date: 05 May 09 - 12:40 PM

Damn, Mick! You & your family are now the poster family for the newest "Murphy's Law" calendar. Murphy himself told us: "Whatever hits the fan is not distributed equally." Are you sure that some other Lane family around there is not wondering why life has seemed so easy lately?

   Forgive my dark humor...I, like all these other folks who know you and just hope & pray for it all to ease. If there is any consolation in all this, it is that your dad IS recovering slowly, and that Ciara is also...and that, as said, your mom was capable of getting herself to a hospital....and finally, that you DO have not only your own amazing strength and deep reserves, but also so many people you have met thru Mudcat to send every possible form of prayer & thought for healing and support. (even in a sentence like that, you know what I'm trying to say.)

As they say, and as I know you will - "Keep on keeping on!"

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-May 5, 2009
From: Little Hawk
Date: 05 May 09 - 12:15 PM

You've had to face a lot of pain and loss lately, Mick. The years can bring that. Getting old is a tough business for most of us...I know it is for me. I've had days and days after days when I wake up in the morning with the feeling that "I've got nothing left to live for anymore"...I kid you not. It seems like all the things that once were so exciting...all the romantic adventures that beckoned to call me out the door into the big wide world...seems like it's all gone past now and it can't be found again in this life. I feel real despair sometimes.

I have not had to face as many of the kind of personal losses you have been dealing with. I have no children and my family circle is very small. My Dad passed away a couple of years ago, so just my Mom remains and she's 80 now. The other relatives I have are people I very seldom even see and I'm not particularly close to any of them. My close relationships are more with my friends, most of whom play music.

I can only guess at the pain people go through when a child of theirs dies or is in some great difficulty. It must be terrible.

But we all face pain in our own way. Each one of us. Whatever our situation. Ultimately we are all going to leave this place, the only thing is, we don't know when. I trust that when we do there will be further meetings of loved ones in a place of Spirit, I really have no doubt about it. Bonds of love are not just limited to this world, they go on. That's something I have faith in. It doesn't come from any specific religion or anything like that, it's just an inner knowing that I have and I trust it.

Your love will not fail, Mick. It cannot. It's indestructible.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-May 5, 2009
From: wysiwyg
Date: 05 May 09 - 12:06 PM

I cannot even imagine the toll it would take on a man who thinks he has to personally shoulder every last thing (and address most of them through fighting hard). I suspect the AFGO in this is that you don't actually shoulder it, and you can't fight it-- for sure, not alone.

((( Mick )))

~Susan

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-May 5, 2
From: M.Ted
Date: 05 May 09 - 12:02 PM

Your mother drove herself to the hospital after a stroke? That should tell you something right there!

I am torn between giving you cheerful, if somewhat vague encouragement, peppered with good humor and camaraderie, and writing you an instruction manual--I guess I'll settle for giving you a little advice--

First, get an Edirol R-09 digital recorder, if you haven't got one already, and make a habit of recording every conversation with doctors and nurses. Then load everything onto an iPod and listen to it, taking notes and stopping periodically to think. This is important, because they communicate everything verbally, and bright as you are, you'll miss about half of what is said, forget most of the rest of it if you don't.

Next is to look up stroke, and, particularly, stroke rehab, up on the internet, and read everything you can. It will help you to understand what the drs are telling you, and not telling you, and it will help you to consider options for dealing with a variety of possible situations--strokes are a bit like snowflakes, in that they are all different--

Beyond that, there is no standard procedure for recovery--there are a variety of things that may or may not present themselves, and you deal with them as the appear.

Last, you have to have to take care of yourself--there are drs, nurses, therapists, and many others whose job is to take care of your mom--no one will be provided to deal with the effects that this has on you--

I am very sorry that this all has happened and I wish you, your mom, and your family the best in dealing with it.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-May 5, 2009
From: Dan Schatz
Date: 05 May 09 - 11:53 AM

Words fail. Mick you've been through so much already - and you keep singing, in voice and spirit, through your hard times. It's a long hard process, but I know you will be there with your Mom, just as you have for Ciara, and your Dad, and everyone. Be there for yourself, too.

Dan

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-May 5, 2009
From: ranger1
Date: 05 May 09 - 11:18 AM

(((((Mick)))))

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-May 5, 2009
From: Nancy King
Date: 05 May 09 - 11:14 AM

Love and good wishes to you and your family, Mick! I know it's hard, but you have a whole lot of folks out here pulling for you.

Nancy

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-May 5, 2009
From: catspaw49
Date: 05 May 09 - 11:14 AM

I dunno' what to say to you Mick......You know I send all the best. I'd love to say I understood why this stuff happens or why it sometimes comes in bunches, but I have no idea. I can't really know how you feel but I may have some empathy.......

When I turned 16, I was more excited to get my license than upset that my Mom was going into the hospital for a "few tests" that same day. I was a kid with parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles.    By the time I turned 26 they were all, all of them, gone, and I was a long ways past the kid of 16. Over the years since, especially in the last 10 or so when friends like you are losing their older family members, I wonder if I was blessed or cursed to have it happen so young. I think in many ways blessed.............

I should have comforting words, I should have some kind of truths to give you........I have none. I should have ways to cope and I should have helpful ideas for how to assuage the pain you feel.....I have none of these either.

The best I have are warm thoughts for you and the belief of the importance of family in our lives......but you already knew that.

Hang in................

Pat

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-May 5, 2009
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 05 May 09 - 11:09 AM

These are meagre words Mick, and I apologise, wishing healing and blessing for you and your loved ones.

Tam

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-May 5, 2009
From: jacqui.c
Date: 05 May 09 - 10:59 AM

Oh my dear! You have such broad shoulders, but even that doesn't mean you have to take so much.

Remember, we are here and keeping you and yours in our thoughts.

Strangely, I saw an article in the supplement of the Sunday paper, which I rarely read, about the efficacy of Tai Chi for stroke patients. I found this article on line. Don't know if it will help your mother, but thought you ought to see it.

Take care melove.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-May 5, 2009
From: KT
Date: 05 May 09 - 10:39 AM

Dear Mick, that's a lot to hold. Please take good care of yourself, too. You and your family are in my prayers.

There IS a song in your heart - bring it to your lips and let it out, if you can. It'll help you through, a bit, and wouldn't hurt your mom, either. love to you and yours - KT

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-May 5, 2009
From: GUEST,pattyClink
Date: 05 May 09 - 10:31 AM

Well geez Mick, what can we say? Just consider yourself surrounded by a lot of friends giving you virtual hugs.

Here goes with the gratuitous advice: don't let the doctors rule her 'not a candidate' for aggressive rehab on account of age. People can and do recover very well from even major strokes, it's not like when we were kids.

I do know the cruelty of what's going on right now. My dear storytelling dad lost his voice to surgery several years before he died, that was an silencing of a great voice but not the man. He furiously communicated with eyes, pen, and legal pad regardless. Wish to God he had been around during this amazing age of texting and email.

But hopefully your mom's speech will come back though it may be a slow process.

Anyway, hugs from everybody on the Cat.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-May 5, 2009
From: Ebbie
Date: 05 May 09 - 10:27 AM

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Mick}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-May 5, 2009
From: frogprince
Date: 05 May 09 - 10:18 AM

You and yours are on the list of those I'll have in heart, Mick. My family "got off easy" in that both my parents pretty much got along active and independently until right up when their time came.
                                  Dean

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-May 5, 2009
From: katlaughing
Date: 05 May 09 - 10:17 AM

And you're nowhere near your quota yet. Not even in the same zip code. Just don't forget to take care of yourself during this troubled time.

Amen to that!

Mickdarlin', I am bringing all of my imagination to bear on *seeing* your mum up and outta there, shooting spitballs and listening with a big smile on her face to YOU singing to her. When Morgan comes over today, we will go in our sanctums, together, fire up the incense and candles and he will say a blessing for you all, relating it to "Mick, my friend, who sings Billy O'Shea." Sing to your mum, even if it's hard to do and may be soft and low...it will be good for her to hear you and good for you. Use the energy we all send, concentrated within your heart and bring forth the love and good you have always so willingly shared and give it to yourself, first, so that you may continue strong and sure of healing for all.

I have worked with stroke patients, in the past, a long time ago. There have been so many advancements since then. I saw what seemed like miracles then; I am sure your mum will come through this well and good and able...with patience and love.

I give thanks that she is healed and well. I give thanks for this or something better for the highest good of all concerned. So mote it be!

luvyakat

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-May 5, 2009
From: SINSULL
Date: 05 May 09 - 10:14 AM

Mick,

When Alice the Cat moans piteously about how tough her life is I tell her "Life sucks and then you die". We both know that it's not true. But sometimes it is OK to wallow in the sentiment...for a while.

Your Mom will come through this. So will you. Stay strong for her. And take one day and one step at a time.
Love,
Mary

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-May 5, 2009
From: Seamus Kennedy
Date: 05 May 09 - 10:09 AM

Mick - your mom is gonna need to recover and rehab in order to shoot spitballs again, so let's encourage her all we can.

I can hear her now: "Doctor, will I ever shoot spitballs again?"

"No, Ma'am, but you'll be able to play the piano."

Please give her my best wishes.

And take care of yourself.

Seamus

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-May 5, 2009
From: Alice
Date: 05 May 09 - 10:07 AM

I'm sorry to hear you are going through this Mick.

I had a period of 3 years when 10 close relatives died and I almost died myself. One becomes numb and just puts one foot ahead of the other to keep going through it.

Take care, big friend.

Alice

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-May 5, 2009
From: Leadfingers
Date: 05 May 09 - 10:05 AM

Repeat As Above ! Otherwise . words fail me mate !

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-May 5, 2
From: sharyn
Date: 05 May 09 - 10:03 AM

Mick, I am sorry. Thinking of you and your mother.

Sharyn

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-May 5, 2009
From: Maryrrf
Date: 05 May 09 - 10:00 AM

Oh no, Mick. I am so sorry to hear this. You and your family have had more than your share of trouble. May god be with you and yours to help you to get through this.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-May 5, 2
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 05 May 09 - 09:58 AM

hugs & best wishes to you & your family

love from sandra

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-May 5, 2009
From: Keith A of Hertford
Date: 05 May 09 - 09:55 AM

So sorry to hear you are suffering more even trials.
Very best wishes and hopes that you find the strength to endure.
keith.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-May 5, 2009
From: gnu
Date: 05 May 09 - 09:54 AM

Thoughts and prayers.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-May 5, 2009
From: Morticia
Date: 05 May 09 - 09:47 AM

It really has been your turn in the barrel these last few years hasn't it, my friend? As many have said before and will after me, there is no quota on love and friendship and you have as much of mine as you want for as long as you want.
We can sing for you for a while, we know we will hear your voice again when you less beset with fortune's gales.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-May 5, 2009
From: Dave Swan
Date: 05 May 09 - 09:44 AM

Hugs, old pal. It's a lot on your plate, but no more than you can handle. You're tough, strong and kind. I wish I could provide an hour's respite, a song and a beer. All best from here.


D

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-May 5, 2009
From: olddude
Date: 05 May 09 - 09:38 AM

My prayers, right at you Mick, sometime we just wonder when it will all stop and settle down again. I been there many times and I know how much it hurts. Your friends are here - anything we can do you know just ask .. in the meantime my prayers are right at you

Dan

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-May 5, 2009
From: Waddon Pete
Date: 05 May 09 - 09:38 AM

Hello Mick,

I'm thinking of you at this time.

It would be so easy to trot out a series of platitudes at a time like this. Just know that you are held in the hearts of a community that loves and respects you.

If you can't sing the songs, then we'll sing them with you.

Best wishes,

Peter

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-May 5, 2
From: Azizi
Date: 05 May 09 - 09:08 AM

Mick, I'm sending positive healing vibrations to your mom.

She sounds like a wonderful person and she raised you well.

You deserve some good times. I hope things get better soon.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-May 5, 2009
From: George Papavgeris
Date: 05 May 09 - 09:03 AM

Mick,
my thoughts and prayers with you and those you love.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-May 5, 2009
From: JedMarum
Date: 05 May 09 - 09:02 AM

So sorry to hear about your Mom, Mick. May she recover well and teach the second part of that spit ball class soon!

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-May 5, 2009
From: Wesley S
Date: 05 May 09 - 09:00 AM

Plenty of support, prayers, and good thoughts coming your way from myself and all of your other friends here. And you're nowhere near your quota yet. Not even in the same zip code. Just don't forget to take care of yourself during this troubled time.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-May 5, 2009
From: Catherine Jayne
Date: 05 May 09 - 08:58 AM

Sorry to hear about your mum Mick.

We hold you and your family in our thoughts

Khatt and Paul x

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-May 5, 2
From: Stu
Date: 05 May 09 - 08:55 AM

Sorry to hear about your Mum Mick, on top of all of your other trials.

Years ago my Mum used to work with Stroke patients here in the UK as a volunteer organiser for the Chest, Heart and Stroke Association. I tried to see if there was a US version, but had no luck. These people can provide help and support to patients and families, and are worth looking up.

All the best,

Stu

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-May 5, 2009
From: Janie
Date: 05 May 09 - 08:45 AM

There are no quotas on care and concern, Dear One. Sometimes it is one storm after another. Feel yourself surrounded by light and love and what comfort we here can offer.

Thoughts and prayers for your mother and may she recover well from her stroke.

Janie

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-May 5, 2009
From: Micca
Date: 05 May 09 - 08:42 AM

Mick, I will light a candle for you and your family, May The lady shine on you and yours
Micca

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-8/17@1102 PM
From: Big Mick
Date: 05 May 09 - 08:36 AM

Well ..... the test continues. Here we are some nine months on after Dad's burst abdominal aortic aneurysm, he still isn't out of the hospital, but is due to be released in a few weeks. Ciara continues to deal with her accident, and now, just yesterday, my Mother had a stroke. She is unable to talk, and is weak on her right side. It was a pretty sizable event. She drove herself to the hospital. I have been here, in the ICU, all night.

I must admit to having a pretty hard time with all this. I know I have been crabby ..... no, a complete asshole, at times over the last few years. All I can tell you all is that I have had a series of events that just seemed to have taken the music out of me, beginning in 2004. This past year, with the loss of an aunt, an uncle, two cousins, Ciara's accident and the lost of our Terra, my Father's aneurysm and months long recovery, and now this ..... well it just takes a toll. And my mother just doesn't deserve to be saddled with this. She has spent her whole life doing for others. She is the person that the following poem could have been written about:

When I am an old woman I shall wear purple
With a red hat which doesn't go, and doesn't suit me.
And I shall spend my pension on brandy and summer gloves
And satin sandals, and say we've no money for butter.
I shall sit down on the pavement when I'm tired
And gobble up samples in shops and press alarm bells
And run my stick along the public railings
And make up for the sobriety of my youth.
I shall go out in my slippers in the rain
And pick the flowers in other people's gardens
And learn to spit.


You can wear terrible shirts and grow more fat
And eat three pounds of sausages at a go
Or only bread and pickle for a week
And hoard pens and pencils and beermats and things in boxes.


But now we must have clothes that keep us dry
And pay our rent and not swear in the street
And set a good example for the children.
We must have friends to dinner and read the papers.


But maybe I ought to practice a little now?
So people who know me are not too shocked and surprised
When suddenly I am old, and start to wear purple

My Mom, when invited to Grandparents day, taught the kids how to shoot spitballs. The teacher's log called her "Naughty Grandma" and it has stuck. She is a great heart, and there is nothing she would not do for others. It breaks my heart that she has to now deal with this, when she should just be enjoying herself. The truth is, she will deal with it better than I will. Because that is my mom.

So once again, with tears in my eyes, I am turning to my friends in this community for support, prayers, and good thoughts. I know I have pretty well used up my quota, but the need is great. I will sing again, but somehow I suspect it will be with a bit of sadness, and a dose of gratefullness for having my mom. But for now .....

Mick

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-8/17@110
From: Andrez
Date: 26 Dec 08 - 08:21 AM

Hi Mick, I know its just past Christmas but I just added a Christmas cheer to the Mudcat Christmas cheers thread below the line and then I thought of you and your daughter and her friend who died and her parents too.

Even though I dont know any of you in an immediate sense I still feel connected your story in this thread by the truth in the first sentence of this thread: "The most precious thing on this earth is our children". My daughter is sleeping and safe at home right now. I dont know what life is going to throw at her in times to come. I dont even know if I will be able to be part of those events for better or worse either. Thats a scary scenario to me but no less a description of how things actually are...... so the only thing I can see myself doing is to take things as they come and enjoy the experience of my daughter as it happens one day at a time. I think that the more days we can share that way the less the chance of regret for missed opportunities if radical changes ever happen to our family as happened to you and yours.

I dont know whats happening for anyone connected by the tragedy of this story and I'm not really asking for an update from any morbid (or other) sense of curiousity, but I just wanted to wish you and you family and the other family the warmest and most sincere Christmas greetings I am capable of giving through this post and hope that at some level in some small way some healing has started to blossom and that the pain has lessened where possible.

As much as I'd like to say something as well to the family who lost their child, anything said would be trite in the face of the loss and so I wont try other than to hope that by coming together as a family at this time of the year that they gain some comfort and strength from each other and from the people and community closest to them.

The next most precious thing after our children is the love and warmth to be found in the caring, sharing and common humanity expressed by everyone who has had input into this very special thread. It can never replace the loss of a child but I think it can only help with the pain and possibly, hopefully, the healing too.

Merry Christmas to Mick and everyone else who has been touched by his story.

Andrez

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-8/17@110
From: JedMarum
Date: 26 Aug 08 - 11:46 AM

Stole our computer??? What a sad, low-life one must have to be so thoughtless to his/her fellow man, especially at such a time. Sorry you have to put up with it - but I suppose under the circumstances it is only adding insult to injury!

My very best for you and for your Dad's recovery.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-8/17@110
From: semi-submersible
Date: 26 Aug 08 - 06:07 AM

Good wishes still flowing your way.

M in BC

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-8/17@1102 PM
From: Partridge
Date: 25 Aug 08 - 02:47 AM

loads of love Mick

Pat xxx

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-8/17@1102 PM
From: Tinker
Date: 24 Aug 08 - 10:58 PM

Blessings and Light,dear one,blessings and light.....

tink

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-8/17@110
From: Janie
Date: 24 Aug 08 - 09:55 PM

refresh

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-8/17@1102 PM
From: gnu
Date: 21 Aug 08 - 04:16 PM

Ditto what Janie said so well.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-8/17@110
From: Janie
Date: 20 Aug 08 - 11:20 PM

Your Dad, you, and all your family are strongly in my thoughts tonight, Mick.

No words to add, just a reminder that so many care, and offer what we have...the caring.

Love,

Janie

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-8/17@1102 PM
From: Anne Lister
Date: 20 Aug 08 - 05:01 AM

Mick, we've been through the mill and back over the past few months as well although our tally of losses is less than yours, so here's a huge pile of empathy to stir into those casseroles.

Anne

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-8/17@110
From: Celtaddict
Date: 20 Aug 08 - 12:29 AM

Mick, my dear friend, I can only add my very best hopes that the dreadful load you carry will be lighter over time, and that that time be soon. We are with you, so many of us. Take care of yourself; Ciara and your Da need you to be in good enough shape to truly be with them, and that won't happen without you taking what you must have of rest, and time to yourself, and whatever comforts you find.
The computer is just a thing; Ciara is alive, and your Da is hanging in there, and if it is indeed his time, you have had a chance to be with him and to let him know again and directly just how much you care for him.
Light to you again and again.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-8/17@110
From: AllisonA(Animaterra)
Date: 19 Aug 08 - 09:44 PM

Beaming yet more light and love your way, dear friend. Bless you.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-8/17@1102 PM
From: Joybell
Date: 19 Aug 08 - 09:43 PM

Been off in a strange place. Late thoughts and hugs from me too, Mick. I don't have the words either.
Joy

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-8/17@110
From: Genie
Date: 19 Aug 08 - 09:16 PM

What Jacquie said, Mick.

And what Janie said too!

Genie

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-8/17@1102 PM
From: catspaw49
Date: 19 Aug 08 - 08:28 AM

400.................Well why not? This thread deserves some sort of stupid laugh doesn't it?    So 400!!!!

"If I laugh at any mortal thing, t'is that I may not weep."......Lord Byron (George Gordon)


Spaw

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-8/17@1102 PM
From: Bobert
Date: 19 Aug 08 - 08:22 AM

How's yer dad, mick???

Ya' know, I hate a thief... I really do... Sometimes I think that Islam has it right when it comes to stealin'... Maybe we should just do it one finger at a time, I donno...

But in the much larger piccure, laptops can be replaced... Dads can't and this ol' hillbilly has had yer dad in my thoughts since reading about him...

Prayers still going out for him and your family...

They say that into each life a little rain must fall but, geeze Louise, you gotta a hurricane on yer hands, Mick...

But thru it all, God is with ya'... He sho nuff is and He's doing what He can... Might not look like it but He's workin'...

B~

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-8/17@1102 PM
From: Lizzie Cornish 1
Date: 19 Aug 08 - 07:45 AM

OK, here's what you do, Mick....

1. Check the ops list for the day, if anyone called A. B*gger is booked in for a laptopectomy, (a space age operation involving removal of old laptop and insertion of new) find nurse's outfit and squeeze yourself into it.
2. Go to medical supplies cupboard, take out largest enema you can find...hey take half a dozen.
3. Shimmy into operating theatre, smile at said patient, whilst gently patting their arm.
4. *Just* before they go under, wave said enemas in front of them and smile once more.
5. After patient is in the Land of Nod, remove shiny laptop from medical trolley and exit, stage left.
6. Remove nurse's uniform.
7. Worry like hell about burly doctor who winked at you several times as you walked into theatre earlier on, making mental note to avoid him next day.
8. Go home, remembering to enter via windows, as door is now completely hidden by casserole pots.
9. Eat large volumes of said casseroles, in assorted flavours, colours and textures, washed down with exceedingly large doses of anything VERY alcoholic.
9. Just before passing out, smile and remember we are all out here, surrounding you and your family with love.
10. On waking next morning, look up at sun, and know that every day which passes brings you closer to the light.



Loads of love..xx

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-8/17@1102 PM
From: GUEST,Dani
Date: 19 Aug 08 - 07:02 AM

You got to figure if the poor bastard only knew what he'd done, he'd bring it back with a ribbon on it. Figure he/she works there, and find a place to put up a flyer that'll give the picture. Someone knows...


Dani

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-8/17@110
From: Andrez
Date: 19 Aug 08 - 06:12 AM

I think this could be what they call a practical hug. If no-one living closer than Australia has a spare laptop to donate, I have a couple of old ones that can do the basic things, nothing flash but they work. If you have a moment to spare and I understand fully if thats not the case, PM me an address and I'll post one over.

Love, hugs and blessings to all involved,

Andrez

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-8/17@1102 PM
From: gnu
Date: 19 Aug 08 - 05:52 AM

Oh my... I got no words. Just more thoughts and prayers.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-8/17@110
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Aug 08 - 08:40 PM

Mick, I've had several things stolen over the years but I think the worst was the theft of my field jacket when I was in the bloody Army. Now, that wouldn't be so bad except that at the time I was in a Military Police company....

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-8/17@1102 PM
From: Susan A-R
Date: 18 Aug 08 - 08:22 PM

Mick, What a series of events. The laptop seems. . . well, unnecessary, off pissing and sad. How does someone like that function even remotely happily in the human race? Hope that things continue well with your Dad. Sorry I'm so far away. For you, I'd even cook something with mushrooms in it if I could get it to you.

Susan

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-8/17@1102 PM
From: Megan L
Date: 18 Aug 08 - 03:06 PM

Hecl lad wid ye mind oan yer names MICK no flamin Atlas. Hope they catch the son or daughter of a bitch who stole the puter. Have bin keepin ye in prayer since the first but the boss wants tae ken if yer tryin fur the bulk order rate. remember tak some time fur you yer nae use tae ithers when you drap wie exhaustion.

Awra best
frae
Dauvitt and his Meg

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-8/17@110
From: Dan Schatz
Date: 18 Aug 08 - 02:56 PM

The laptop is an aggravation, and an injury, but its the people and the emotions that are important. Between bouts of taking care of everyone else, I hope you find a little time to recharge your own batteries. Pick up a guitar, play a song. Sing through the hard times, and remember that we are with you.

Dan

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-8/17@1102 PM
From: alanabit
Date: 18 Aug 08 - 10:28 AM

What everyone else said Mick. Thinking of you here too.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-8/17@1102 PM
From: Tinker
Date: 18 Aug 08 - 09:45 AM

Mick, my " shite reduction" radar includes house cleaning. My kids are definately requesting a hiatus on this round. The dauther's room had two contractor's bags of clothing removed yesterday. The laundry pile is even caught up....but I am not making cassaroles.


tink




The link on the bottom of the page is ...

Easy Cassarole Recipes
Get Free Recipes For Quick & Easy Cassaroles at Family.com Now!

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-8/17@1102 PM
From: SINSULL
Date: 18 Aug 08 - 08:39 AM

Sleep tight, Mick. There is nothing more soothing or healing than a night in your own bed.

I have not done this in a while but I will "zero in" on the thief and see if he can be convinced to return the laptop. There is something more to this that I can't seem to put my finger on but...

Your health is important too, Mick. Ciara and Mary Lou need you as much as you need your Dad.

Stay strong, love. I will work on those casseroles.
Mary

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-8/17@110
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Aug 08 - 08:21 AM

Mick, when life gives you shit, make compost tea for the flowers.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-8/17@110
From: jacqui.c
Date: 18 Aug 08 - 07:03 AM

Mick - good thoughts still on tap here, but you really don't want to know what I'm thinking for the low life that would do something like that.

Here's hoping they catch the b@%&$*d

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-8/17@110
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 18 Aug 08 - 01:08 AM

what everyone said!

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-8/17@110
From: Janie
Date: 18 Aug 08 - 01:04 AM

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-8/17@1102 PM
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 18 Aug 08 - 01:01 AM

"Security" in hospitals is like a sieve. Amazing they get away with it. Good luck in sorting out the health and property issues, Mick. And just sleeping in your own bed--what a luxury, eh?

SRS

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-8/17@1102 PM
From: katlaughing
Date: 18 Aug 08 - 12:39 AM

Mick, we've got things covered here. Don't worry about the mod duties! Thanks for checking in and more good thoughts, thanks givings and all coming your way, darlin'.

luvyakat

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-8/13@3:38 PM
From: Bee
Date: 18 Aug 08 - 12:30 AM

Hard slogging. I'm sorry you're going through it, and wish you and your family better times.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-8/13@3:3
From: Escapee
Date: 18 Aug 08 - 12:13 AM

Still praying, Mick. Hang on.
Marty

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-8/13@3:38 PM
From: Tinker
Date: 17 Aug 08 - 11:12 PM

Thanks for taking a moment to catch us up Mick. Sleep well tonite and share a few hugs all around.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-8/13@3:38 PM
From: GUEST,Big Mick
Date: 17 Aug 08 - 11:02 PM

You know ... this saga just gets worse to the point of being almost laughable.

First the update on my Da. That is one tough old paddy, folks. Fewer than 20% survive the surgery, and of those that do, the mortality once they are in intensive care is very high. My Pop has dealt with fever, blocked endotrachial tube, fluctuating blood pressure, kidneys that are acting up, and he keeps coming through it. We are not out of the woods yet, but think I can see the edge of the forest out there. Tonight is the first night in 9 that I will sleep in my own bed instead of on a couch in his room. Tomorrow morning we will run the parameters again, and hopefully get his NBP down below 100 so we can pull the tube. If not, we may be looking at a tracheotomy for a spell. He is also being dialyzed for a bit, but likely won't need it long term. Prayers, good thoughts, holding in the light, ...... all are gratefully accepted and longed for. I sure love this man.

You ready for this? I took my laptop to the hospital so's I could continue my mod duties, conduct some business, keep up on email..... and some low life you know what stole my $2400 laptop right out of the ICU area which is why I am currently in GUEST status. The police are involved, I suspect someone on the staff of the hospital,as it happened between 3:15 am and 7:00 am. I am all over the security staff and am forcing them to let me review the security tapes. Long story which I will share another time. I need to go to bed right now.

Know that I feel the love, best wishes, and warm friendship expressed by you all, and it has touched me in a profound way. This has certainly been a summer I will not forget, but I am determined to come out the other side intact.

Now I am going to bed to dream of casseroles stacked two stories high around my house........ don't forget to put in a can of mushroom soup and some peas........

All the best,

Mick

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-8/13@3:3
From: CET
Date: 17 Aug 08 - 02:25 PM

Mick:

More prayers from me.

I expect you have a shitload of PMs. As somebody pointed out earlier, nobody expects a PM back from you. You have enough on your plate.

It is a great blessing to be able to be with your Da and the rest of your kin at this time, but I can imagine you trying to do too much. Take care of yourself (I would underline that if I could).

Edmund

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-8/13@3:3
From: maeve
Date: 17 Aug 08 - 12:20 PM

Mick- Today in the State of Maine the sky is blue as a scallop's eyes. The sun is warm, and time and tomatoes hang heavy on the vines.

You and your family are in my thoughts and even more so in prayers on your behalf. Sent along a PM just now. Breathe, and be, and hold someone who loves you. You are not alone.

maeve

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-8/13@3:38 PM
From: MAG
Date: 16 Aug 08 - 11:21 AM

Thinking of you Mick

Chris Roe singing Sail on sail on another day ... yes.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-8/13@3:3
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Aug 08 - 10:53 AM

I can make casseroles:

Take a meat thingie (I generally use whatever I find in the street, peeled), a vegetable thingie (sagebrush works well), a cheese thingie (Velveeta is best), and a carbohydrate thingie (wood chips, sawdust, bark, two year old Irish soda bread, old newpapers), mix them all together, sprinkle some of the carbohydrate thingie on top, and bake until done. No need for seasonings since everyone says they like my casseroles just as I make them. People say things like, "Ah, yeah, here's your dish back" and "We cleaned out every bit of it."

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-8/13@3:38 PM
From: SINSULL
Date: 16 Aug 08 - 09:50 AM

No word yet from Mick about his Dad. I am better at baking than at casseroles, Mick.
You and yours are in my thoughts and prayers.
Mary

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-8/13@3:38 PM
From: Pistachio
Date: 16 Aug 08 - 09:43 AM

((((((((((((((( More hugs for you and your whole family )))))))))))))
... you really wouldn't want one of my casserolles - but you have my very best thoughts and wishes.
Hazel.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-8/13@3:38 PM
From: InOBU
Date: 15 Aug 08 - 09:03 PM

Holding thee, and thine in the light Mick.
I know at times like this, it seems it can never stop hurting, but it does. The loss remains, but the good things about those we lost remains, and becomes more important than the pain of loss.
Dearly with thee in the light
Lorcan

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-8/13@3:3
From: MaineDog
Date: 15 Aug 08 - 08:38 PM

I'm reminded of a disaster that occurred when I was in high school.
My buddy Steve had two younger brothers, Charley and Chris. Their dad had a good sized boat, and we all used to go out to an island for a picnic several times each summer. One day we came back, and found that Charley was not with us. He was found floating in the water several days later. He fell overboard and no one could hear him over the engines. (One very good reason to sail).
All the survivors felt guilty, almost responsible for the accident. The family was wrecked emotionally for years, and my friendship with Steve ended because I could not deal with it either.
I did not know then as I do now that we live in a fallen world, and God is not in charge of everything that happens here on Earth, as some would have us believe, but our separation from Him allows the adversary to get his licks in sometimes, to our very great distress.          Comfort may be found in knowing that there is reunion in Heaven, and that despite incredible disasters, life goes on for some, and in time, joy will be found again. I know several catters who will back me up on this, and I'm working on it too!

Keep on keepin' on!

MD aka Jim

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-8/13@3:38 PM
From: Art Thieme
Date: 15 Aug 08 - 06:23 PM

We DO actually care about this Big Mick guy! The thread shows it. For every addition onto the thread there has been a time or two that Mick has been there for us. ALL THOSE CASSEROLES! At the very least, the compost pile will be able to do it's job---even next year.

Art

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-8/13@3:38 PM
From: KathWestra
Date: 15 Aug 08 - 05:45 PM

Dear Mick,
Much love to you, Mary Lou, and Ciara in this latest round of trouble. You continue to be in my thoughts every day.

Now Dani, be really, really careful what you wish for our West Michigan buddy. The thought of what might happen if the locals unleashed a flood of hopelessly Midwestern casserole dishes on the Lane household is truly scary. The sheer volume of red meat, egg noodles, salt, butter, Durkee's french-fried onions, crumbled potato-chip toppings, and Campbell's cream soups could send the lot of them into collective cardiac arrest.
Kathy

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-8/13@3:38 PM
From: Carly
Date: 15 Aug 08 - 04:57 PM

I just read this thread...and am laughing through my tears at the vision of casseroles piled rooftop-high around your home, Mick. My dish would be there, too. If there is any way in which we, your friends, can be helpful, do not hesitate to ask; all of us, it is clear, would ease these burdens you must carry if we could.

To that end, I am adding my prayers to those going up all around the world, and sending my love to you and yours.

Carly

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-8/13@3:38 PM
From: GUEST,Dani
Date: 15 Aug 08 - 08:54 AM

Yeah, no kidding about the cooking, huh? Can you imagine the poor sucker if more of us lived closer?

There'd be a line snaking out the door, casseroles piled high next to the over-stuffed fridge, pots boiling on the stove....

We call it the "F-ing" casserole now, the one prepared for a friend in need. You don't say the whole word, just the "F-". When we were running our restaurant, at the time of my mom's illness, people just assumed we had ready access to food, but really I was scrambling to feed people while taking care of everything. One day in my self-pitying exhaustion I said to my friend, "where are all the fucking casseroles?!" Next day, from another friend (and then others after that) there was a casserole on my porch with a stickie note: "Here's your f'ing casserole!". People just needed to know when to jump in to action : )

Seriously, we could make food happen, if those Michiganers don't know how to do that right.

Just say the word, and it'd be there faster than you could say "Sinsull's KnickKnacks" five times fast.

Dani

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-8/13@3:3
From: semi-submersible
Date: 15 Aug 08 - 05:10 AM

This road is yours alone, but thank you for inviting us to travel part of it with you. One year was very bad in my family, for both old and young. Is there any meaning to these things, besides meanings we create? I am grateful for peaceful years we had together before, and for the years since then with the surviving half of our family.

I envision your family circle joined hand in hand, those with you in flesh and those remembered (dwelling in our hearts, they comfort and guide us) sharing love and strength with you now. I'm picturing outer circles, all interlocking: friends, kin, sharers of music, neighbours, many communities focussing healing and strength on each of your family.

May these dread churning rapids now give way to quiet waters for you all.
Maureen in BC, Canada

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-8/13@3:38 PM
From: Neil D
Date: 14 Aug 08 - 10:23 PM

I'm so sorry for all your troubles. I'm hoping like mad that your Dad gets well.
                                    Neil

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-8/13@3:38 PM
From: GUEST
Date: 14 Aug 08 - 10:09 PM

Dear Lord - We ask in Your name that this family will be helped by your gentle hands. Hold them and assure them that all is well and that You are there for them. We know Your love knows no bounds and that Your Son Jesus said "Suffer all the children to come unto me." And so it shall be.

We ask this in the name of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ - Amen

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-8/13@3:38 PM
From: Mrrzy
Date: 14 Aug 08 - 09:46 PM

Man, Mick, it never rains but it pours! I wish I could do something CONCRETE to help - but can't think of a thing. If you were physically nearby I could cook for you...

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-8/13@3:3
From: Charley Noble
Date: 14 Aug 08 - 09:38 PM

Mick-

You certainly have some good friends here, all pulling for you.

There's not much I can add but know that I'm focusing positive thoughts your way as well.

Maybe, I should address an appeal to the Old Gods. The current ones don't seem to be paying much attention.

Charley Noble

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-8/13@3:38 PM
From: Guldhamstern
Date: 14 Aug 08 - 09:36 PM

It's overwhelming to read.

I have no good words.

You have my preyers.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-8/13@3:3
From: Janie
Date: 14 Aug 08 - 09:21 PM

Adding what bit of love and Iight I have to offer to the radiant circle of care and concern, Mick.

Love,

Janie

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-8/13@3:38 PM
From: Hollowfox
Date: 14 Aug 08 - 08:36 PM

I can't add any new words to those of all those who posted before me, but I do add my thoughts and prayers. (and a #$@!-reduction candle, of course).

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-8/13@3:38 PM
From: Seamus Kennedy
Date: 14 Aug 08 - 05:54 PM

With you all the way, Mick.

Seamus

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-8/13@3:38 PM
From: Barb'ry
Date: 14 Aug 08 - 05:35 PM

So sorry, Mick.
Much love,
Barb'ry

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-8/13@3:38 PM
From: Waddon Pete
Date: 14 Aug 08 - 03:30 PM

Mick,

In the end...love is all there ever was.

You have it coming to you from every point of the compass. It is love you have earned by being who you are. Lean on it...let it enfold you.



Special Suffolk luv coming your way as always,

Best wishes,

Peter

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-8/13@3:38 PM
From: sapper82
Date: 14 Aug 08 - 11:05 AM

Bloody hell Mick, you've been given the shitty end of the stickand no mistake. All I can say is that I echo all that has been said before.

Hang in there Sunshine, things have to start improving ssoon.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-8/13@3:38 PM
From: Ebbie
Date: 14 Aug 08 - 10:37 AM

Tears and Hope; Sometimes there isn't much we can share but that we can share. Both in abundance.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-8/13@3:38 PM
From: maire-aine
Date: 14 Aug 08 - 09:16 AM

Dear Mick,

I can't do much but keep you and your family in my prayers. In the meanwhile, here's a big hug for you
((((((((((((Mick))))))))))))),
which you can exchange for a real one the next time I see you.

Love,
Maryanne

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-8/13@3:38 PM
From: Roger in Baltimore
Date: 14 Aug 08 - 09:07 AM

Mick,

It just ain't right. I know bad things can happen to good people, but these looks like a landslide! Know that my thoughts are with you. Wish I could just give you a hug, knowing it won't make any difference, but hoping it could ease the pain. I know you're a helper by nature, but know that even the helper's need help. Reach out to those who are your support.

May this period of sorrow end soon for you and yours. Godspeed.

Roger in Baltimore

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-8/13@3:38 PM
From: Willie-O
Date: 14 Aug 08 - 08:24 AM

What a rough go. And we thought this summer was a drag cause it's rained so much.

I'm sending your whole family everything I've got...big hugs all around.

Bill

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-8/13@3:38 PM
From: alison
Date: 14 Aug 08 - 04:34 AM

more hugs and good thoughts from me.

you'll get through this, your dad has been through the really scary bit - the fact that they managed to repair a burst aneurysm is a miracle in itself.

slainte

alison

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-8/13@3:38 PM
From: Morticia
Date: 14 Aug 08 - 03:48 AM

Virtually slipping a hand into yours for as long as you need it

much love

Terri

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-8/13@3:3
From: open mike
Date: 14 Aug 08 - 03:44 AM

good grief..{{{{{MICK}}}}}

just cuz ya got broad shoulders
doesn't mean you have to hold the
weight of the world on 'em now,
does it??!!


here's hugs for you and your family.
from one who has been thru the washer
lately myself....

hopefully it will all come out in the wash...

hang in there...

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-8/13@3:38 PM
From: My guru always said
Date: 14 Aug 08 - 03:15 AM

Positive thoughts to You and Yours Mick. Love & Hugs,
Hil x

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-8/13@3:38 PM
From: GUEST,Marymac90
Date: 14 Aug 08 - 02:28 AM

Dear Mick,

I am sending more good wishes your way. You and your
family are often in my thoughts.

I'm reminded of the words of Rod McDonald's "Sailors'
Prayer"

I will not lie me down, this rain a-ragin'
I will not lie me down, in such a storm
And if this night be unblessed, I shall not take my rest
Until we reach another shore.

Hoping that you get some rest soon, Mick.

Marymac, living in Delaware now

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-8/13@3:38 PM
From: catspaw49
Date: 14 Aug 08 - 02:19 AM

Came home this evening and read this........Didn't have a clue as to what to say. So I went off elsewhere and tried to think through it.

Didn't help.

I don't know who is in charge and I never have. Like Bill, if I find out down the road sometime or another there IS someone, I'm going to kick his/her/its ass.....providing of course there is one to kick. Tell ya' somethin'.......................

When I was 18 I had two of the greatest parents imagineable, loving and caring and involved grandparents, and two Aunts who doted on their baby brother's only child. By the time I was 23 they had all died. What kinda' deal was that anyway?

Which is the same thing I wonder tonight......What kind of deal is this for my friend?

Somebody finds out about this, let me know huh?

Til then Mick......my best thoughts and hugs to you all.

Spaw

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-8/13@3:38 PM
From: Partridge
Date: 14 Aug 08 - 01:35 AM

Been sat here at the keyboard for ages trying to think of something uplifting to help you feel better. You are going through a horrible time, please know that I'm sending positive and healing thoughts.

much much love

your friend
pat xxxxx

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-8/13@3:3
From: Marion
Date: 14 Aug 08 - 12:44 AM

Dear Mick:

Not much that can be said... but here's one more person hoping for good health for your father and strength and patience for you and the rest of your family.

With love, Marion

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-8/13@3:38 PM
From: Tinker
Date: 13 Aug 08 - 11:40 PM

Damn !!! The fountain is still flowing blessings and light are still out your way. Yes, all of you are held in love and light and grace. Know there are as many standing with you and yours as the stars that shine in the darkness.....

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-8/13@3:38 PM
From: GUEST,Dani
Date: 13 Aug 08 - 11:07 PM

His Mother and I have been on the outs in recent years, but I'm going to go talk with her tonight anyway. She'll kick his ass if he doesn't treat you right soon.


Dani

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-8/13@3:38 PM
From: Barbara Shaw
Date: 13 Aug 08 - 10:37 PM

Mick, whatever happens you can feel good that you've done the right thing. Your Dad is surely so proud of a son like you and your daughter so proud of a Dad like you. Keep on being strong and know that we're all better for knowing you, even just here in cyberspace.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-8/13@3:38 PM
From: Uncle Phil
Date: 13 Aug 08 - 10:08 PM

All our best thoughts from Texas. Lord have mercy.
- Phil

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-8/13@3:38 PM
From: KT
Date: 13 Aug 08 - 09:57 PM

Hang in there, Mick, buddy. And where your spirit is weakened, may you find renewed, untold strength. Hold fast, my friend, hold fast.

KT

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-8/13@3:3
From: Amos
Date: 13 Aug 08 - 09:17 PM

Got your back, buddy; call me anytime.

Love,


A

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-8/13@3:3
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 13 Aug 08 - 08:10 PM

THEY say that god/gods/whoever/whatever never give you more than you can handle. THEY also say life's not fair & that every challenge is a growth opportunity. I say enough is enough.

lots more love & good wishes to you, Mick

sandra

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-8/13@3:3
From: AllisonA(Animaterra)
Date: 13 Aug 08 - 08:05 PM

Light and love and song and strength and courage flowing full strength to you, your Da, and your family.

During my darkest hours, this wonderful song was the floating shard of driftwood that kept my head above water:

Row on, row on, another day
May shine with brighter light.
Ply, ply the oars and pull away;
There's dawn beyond the night.

love,
Allison

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-8/13@3:38 PM
From: olddude
Date: 13 Aug 08 - 07:43 PM

OH MY GOD
I am so sorry, I just read the link
you are in my prayers

Dan

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-8/13@3:38 PM
From: frogprince
Date: 13 Aug 08 - 07:37 PM

You and yours are still in a couple of hearts in the Lapeer area, Mick.       Dean and Judy

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-8/13@3:38 PM
From: katlaughing
Date: 13 Aug 08 - 07:35 PM

Right here, right now,
Your Da is with you
And all is well.

Right here, right now
We are with you
And all is well.

Right here, right now
God, the Mother/Father is with you
And all is well.

Take a few deep breaths, focus on the best positive outcome you can imagine and give thanks for that or something better for the highest good of all concerned. Try to let go and loosen up those broad, weighed down shoulders of yours and let us take up some of the slack. Oh, and, harsh as it may sound, learn to say no to family...let someone else write a few songs, etc. eh?:-> And, thanks for checking in! If you need a phone call, cards for your Da or anything else we can do in 3D life, please let us know!

luvyabuckets...kateykat

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-8/13@3:38 PM
From: Nancy King
Date: 13 Aug 08 - 07:26 PM

Jeez, Mick, this hasn't been the best summer for you, has it? Things just GOTTA go uphill from here!

Lots of positive thoughts coming to you and your family from here!

Love,
Nancy

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-8/13@3:3
From: Bat Goddess
Date: 13 Aug 08 - 07:16 PM

AFGO -- "Another Fxxking Growth Opportunity"

They say it builds character, but you, my dear, are enough of a character already. I think it's time for the fertilizer to just stay the hell away from the damned fan, already!

Our healing thoughts, prayers, white light, energy, etc. is focussed on you and your family. Wish there was something I could SAY that would make it all better...

Hang in there.

Hugs,

Linn

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-8/13@3:38 PM
From: Azizi
Date: 13 Aug 08 - 06:45 PM

I wish that I had a magic wand and could make everything the best that it could be. But this is real life and not a storybook or movie. But I'm sending positive vibrations your way from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-8/13@3:3
From: Bonnie Shaljean
Date: 13 Aug 08 - 06:45 PM

I think Bobert's got something there... Healing energy and love is beaming towards you from here and every other direction too (who knows, maybe even a winning lottery number ;-)

Beannacht, Bonnie xx

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-8/13@3:3
From: jacqui.c
Date: 13 Aug 08 - 06:30 PM

Good thoughts coming from Maine melove.

You and your family are in my thoughts everyday now.

I just wish there was more that we could do.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-8/13@3:38 PM
From: Bobert
Date: 13 Aug 08 - 06:23 PM

Can't add much other than you and your family willremain in mty thoughts and in my prayers... I am a firm believer that if ya' get enough folks prayin' for the same thing that good things happen...

Hang in there, Mick...

Bobert

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-8/13@3:3
From: GUEST,DonMeixner
Date: 13 Aug 08 - 06:12 PM

Mick,

My best wishes for your Dad and his recovery. There was no hope of recovery for my Mom there weeks ago but the care of friends and family made it better and closer for us here at home. I know the same care is there for you

However this hand plays for you are in my thoughts and hopes and my very rarely prayed prayers.

Don

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-8/13@3:38 PM
From: Megan L
Date: 13 Aug 08 - 06:01 PM

Our thoughts and prayers are with you and yours lad.

Awra best
frae
Dauvitt and his Meg

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-8/13@3:3
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Aug 08 - 05:48 PM

Well, shit, Mick.

No, no! Wait! That was an expression, not a command! Fasten your belt again.

To say that this has been one sucky summer for you doesn't even begin to express it.

Anything (besides the obvious) I can do?

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-8/13@3:3
From: JedMarum
Date: 13 Aug 08 - 05:27 PM

God Bless, my friend

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-8/13@3:3
From: Jeri
Date: 13 Aug 08 - 05:24 PM

Mick, there are loads of folks here who care about you. I hope things get better for you real soon. Nobody should have to deal with this much bad stuff.

Jeri

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-8/13@3:3
From: Bill D
Date: 13 Aug 08 - 05:16 PM

........lordy! If I knew who was in charge, I'd sign a recall petition!

Do you think we all wished and prayed and loaded the circuits with TOO much good will? Maybe blew a circuit? Naawww... you & I both know better.
All I can do is quote one of those blasted laws that seem all too relevant about our lives...

"Whatever hits the fan is not distributed equally"

Take care, Mick....give yourself a 'little' break whenever possible...

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-8/13@3:38 PM
From: Lizzie Cornish 1
Date: 13 Aug 08 - 05:10 PM

Even more bucketloads of love coming across the ocean to you, Mick. xx

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-8/13@3:38 PM
From: Maryrrf
Date: 13 Aug 08 - 05:06 PM

Mick, there isn't much I can say except that my thoughts and prayers are with you and I truly hope things turn around soon - they will! You've had more than your share of troubles lately so you are due for a run of good luck.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-8/13@3:38 PM
From: gnu
Date: 13 Aug 08 - 05:03 PM

Thoughts and prayers again and more so.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-8/13@3:38 PM
From: Wesley S
Date: 13 Aug 08 - 05:02 PM

Best of luck. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-7/16@940
From: Genie
Date: 13 Aug 08 - 04:56 PM

What Barry said, Mick.

Well, except for the ass-whuppin' part.* I don't know you well enough.

I do hope being at the Getaway can help ease your load, lift your spirit, and renew your strength at least a little.   You're in all our thoughts and prayers.

Genie






*Less'n y'ask nicely, o' course.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-7/16@940pm
From: Barry Finn
Date: 13 Aug 08 - 04:39 PM

Gezzez Mick, when it rains it pours don't it! Sorry bud for all your bad luck, you better come to the Getaway so we can give you a shot in the arm or sing you a song or something.
I don't know what to say or how to help ease your heart but I just wish you good luck to you & yours & pray that it'll all turn out as best as possible. You deserve a bit of a break about now.

I'll give you a good ass whipping when I see you next, that'll lift your spirits a bit & get you off your knees, it also should crack your face with a bit of a smile.

All my best & good luck

Barry

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-7/16@940pm
From: SINSULL
Date: 13 Aug 08 - 04:36 PM

You got your lottery win when Ciara survived the crash. Now sit back and be strong a little while longer. No sympathy - just love and support and even admiration from a friend.
Mary

Subject: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-8/13@3:37 PM
From: maeve
Date: 13 Aug 08 - 04:36 PM

Sometimes the accumulation of grief and the defeating weariness seem to be more than can be borne. One step, one note, one more act of love- these will carry you until you can be at peace again.

You are in the heart of prayers, Mick.

maeve

Subject: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-8/13@3:37 PM
From: lady penelope
Date: 13 Aug 08 - 04:32 PM

{{{{Mick}}}}

If I'm staggered by this, how must you feel? I can only offer a virtual hand to help steady you.

Pen.

Subject: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-8/13@3:37 PM
From: skarpi
Date: 13 Aug 08 - 04:29 PM

I think the best vinning lottery you get is that your dad gets
well out of this surgery ,

Big Hug and prayers Mick

((((((((( Mick and Family ))))))))))))))))

Atb Skarpi and Guðrún

Subject: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-8/13@3:37 PM
From: maeve
Date: 13 Aug 08 - 04:28 PM

Mick- Yes. Prayers, thoughts, hopes and dreams.   

maeve

Subject: Mick**Update-8/13@3:37 pm Rains/Pours
From: Big Mick
Date: 13 Aug 08 - 04:08 PM

Well ..... I have to tell you that I need a break, as in a change of luck, here.

As you all know from this thread, my daughter was involved in an auto accident and her dear friend, and one of my surrogate kids, Terra, was killed. What you probably don't know is that in the last 12 or so weeks, in addition to that tragedy, I also lost 2 cousins, and an Aunt and an Uncle. These are always tough on me as I somehow have ended up as the person in the family has to give the eulogy, and write some kind of song for the person that left. This is a tough assignment, to frame it appropriately and to help folks with their grief, especially while one is grieving already.

Well, on Friday(August 8, 2008) I got a call from my brother. He informed me that he and my Mom were at the hospital. My Father had an aneurysm burst in his abdomen, was in emergency surgery, and had less than a 20% chance of for survival. We spent a fearful afternoon, finally the Dr. came out, Dad had survived the surgery, but was in very bad shape, and survival over the next 48 hours was not assured or even likely. But my Da is one tough old paddy. He is fighting the good fight, and it seems is full of tricks for keeping the Bean-Nighe washerwoman away from his duds. He is still in the Intensive Care Unit, and is still in the woods, but daily he makes a bit of progress. I have not left the hospital since Friday, with the exception to slip out and play two gigs (yes, the show really must go on) and then right back here. I don't want him alone. Not to be melodramatic, even though it will sound like it, but I know what it is like to think that you might not make it, and to be alone while it is happening. I don't want that for him. So here I sit.

I am writing this, not for sympathy, but because I have my laptop with me finally, and there were a number of PM's that were asking what is up. I also had PM's from folks about the Getaway. I will have to get to them later, but this way is faster for letting folks know why I am not about.

So good thoughts, prayers, or whatever you have to send. And if you have an in with whoever the hell it is that is charge, could you do me a kindness? Would you tell that Big Mick has had enough of this aul load of shite, and could they send me a winning lottery ticket instead of this? Thanks.

All the best,

Mick

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-7/16@940pm
From: Willie-O
Date: 07 Aug 08 - 01:43 PM

open mike, astro et al:

I believe it would be good karma for us to follow the fine example of Terra's family and refrain from presuming anything about this accident, most especially assuming blame. Unless we were there investigating it, we are not in a position to say how it was caused (and Mick's mentioned that the investigators described it to him as a "perfect storm"--not as any one driver's fault). All we really know is that two drivers both thought the way was clear, and it didn't work out well. (and we know that Ciara did NOT fail to stop at the sign; there is no "quick and simple" explanation for the tragedy.)

I too am concerned for everyone who was there at the terrible scene; Ciara, the other car driver, the tractor driver, anyone else who happened by. I hope they all get peace.

I have a teenage driver in my family and I say a little atheist's prayer every time he take the car out. He's a good kid, like Ciara, he's not going to be drinking or stoned on the road--but that alone does not keep you safe, as we have seen. I sent him some info on the accident and asked him to please please please triple check every time he goes through an intersection--or passes a tractor. It's not about blame. Blame is useless. It's about learning and moving forward, which is all that we who have been lucky enough to survive accidents or near-misses that could easily have killed us can do.   

Bill

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-7/16@940pm
From: Ebbie
Date: 07 Aug 08 - 12:43 PM

As Celtaddict said... As time passes and the horrendous moments recede with it that is when most of the irrevocable pain sets in. Know that we are with you.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-7/16@940
From: Celtaddict
Date: 06 Aug 08 - 12:55 PM

Just a reminder, Mick, Ciara, and Terra's family, you remain in the hearts and prayers of so many, including this one in Connecticut.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-7/16@940
From: open mike
Date: 06 Aug 08 - 03:12 AM

as was said earlier by Astro, in Tucson:

...I hope the young man who did hit them is looking for peace, forgiveness, and healing too. We all err, but not as greatly as this young man has...

i would add that i hope and pray that the driver might find a way to learn to live after this tragedy. I presume there were charges filed?

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-7/16@940
From: JennyO
Date: 05 Aug 08 - 01:18 PM

I've spent a lot of time away from Mudcat over the last few months - got used to spending more of my computer time on Facebook - making new friends and getting to know some old ones a lot better. I came back here today to start a new thread, about something that is happening in my life, and the first thing I saw was this thread.

I had to read it through from the beginning, and was moved by the outpourings of love from everybody here, and felt bad that it has taken me this long to find it. I know from personal experience that the Mudcat community is a wonderful caring one, but I think I had forgotten how much. I felt the same reading the thread about Open Mike too.

Mick, I don't know what else I can add to what everybody else has said, but I am joining with them in sending you and your daughter love and support. You did the right thing in sharing your thoughts and feelings with us, as I'm sure you know. We can't take away all the pain, but the support does make a difference - I know. I've felt it. It's taken this thread to remind me.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-7/16@940
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Aug 08 - 10:28 AM

Mick, if you need help with media, let me know. Vinnie and Guido are chompin' at the bit to spend some time in Michigan, "maybe take a boat ride out on the Lake, ya know?" to which Guido says, "Uh...yeah...boat ride...hey, cement shoes!" and then Vinnie says, "Shaddup, Guido, ya knucklehead!"

Alternately, I do know some lawyers up that way. They're just as effective (if not as much fun or as permanent) as Vinnie and Guido, though.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-7/16@940pm
From: SINSULL
Date: 05 Aug 08 - 10:05 AM

I thought the same, Maeve. I remember a festival where Mick played and Ciara danced with pure joy and abandon.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-7/16@940
From: maeve
Date: 05 Aug 08 - 08:15 AM

Mick, as I listened to and watched David Coffin and his sweet daughter on Saturday, I thought of you and those you love.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-7/16@940pm
From: Beer
Date: 05 Aug 08 - 07:33 AM

The above "GUEST" spammer hasn't been dealt with as yet. He/she is on most threads.
Mick, still thinking of the load you are carrying. May you continue to find strength.
Adrien

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-7/16@940pm
From: Keith A of Hertford
Date: 05 Aug 08 - 05:43 AM

I hope you continue to find the strength you need, and that your friends here may provide some of that.
keith.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-7/16@940
From: JedMarum
Date: 05 Aug 08 - 12:26 AM

Wishing you and your the best, Mick. You've been on our minds this week as we begin a new project.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-7/16@940pm
From: KT
Date: 05 Aug 08 - 12:15 AM

Thinking of you all, Mick, sending lots of love your way.....There will be a lot of us joining in that dance!

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-7/16@940
From: Escapee
Date: 04 Aug 08 - 07:51 PM

We're right behind you, Mick.
Marty

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-7/16@940pm
From: gnu
Date: 04 Aug 08 - 03:59 PM

Keeping you in thoughts and prayers, buddy.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-7/16@940pm
From: Big Mick
Date: 04 Aug 08 - 12:43 PM

Lox, my friend, it is not a burden. To answer loving people who are expressing care and concern is a task that I take up with gratitude. I am just not quite up to it yet, but I will be and look forward to it.

All the best,

Mick

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-7/16@940pm
From: GUEST,lox
Date: 04 Aug 08 - 12:26 PM

I feel pretty confident when I say that you are not expected to reply to any of the PM's you have received.

Mine was intended to ease your burden - not add to it.

Take care.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-7/16@940pm
From: SINSULL
Date: 04 Aug 08 - 12:20 PM

I will see you at the Getaway. Until then I surround you with and yours with love and light.
If I could make it all go away I would.
Love,
Mary

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-7/16@940
From: jacqui.c
Date: 04 Aug 08 - 12:14 PM

Still sending good thoughts Mick, every day.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-7/16@940pm
From: Peace
Date: 04 Aug 08 - 11:14 AM

Ditto that.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-7/16@940pm
From: Lizzie Cornish 1
Date: 04 Aug 08 - 10:53 AM

Loads of love, Mick. xx

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-7/16@940pm
From: Big Mick
Date: 04 Aug 08 - 10:47 AM

Folks, I cannot adequately express how very important all your messages have been. They helped, and continue to help, us know that this is something that can be dealt with and that there are folks that care.

I have received so many PM's and some beautiful cards, that it is going to take me quite a while to personally respond to each one, but that is what I will do a little at a time. Many of those wonderful pm/messages/cards came from folks that are so dear and close to me that you already know how much I love you and appreciate you.

Ciara is doing very well, has some stiffness in her neck when she wakes up in the morning, and is chomping at the bit to dance again (she currently cannot do anything jarring until the spleen heals). Mentally she is in a very good spot, but I can see the sadness and the hiding that the therapy will help us work through.

Terra's family are working through their sadness, and it breaks my heart still to even think about that pain. But it is what it is, and we simply must work through it.

I am in the midst of my struggle with the media, and it is far from over.

All the best,

Mick

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-7/16@940pm
From: Waddon Pete
Date: 23 Jul 08 - 11:22 AM

I've just been listening to Utah Phillips talking abut the folk community on his podcast.

He, also, greatly appreciated the caring, loving circle that includes all lovers of folk music. This circle is especially evident on this thread. Mick....you are all still in our thoughts and in our hearts

Love from Suffolk,

Peter

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-7/16@940pm
From: Peter T.
Date: 22 Jul 08 - 11:16 AM

About Mudcat: As catspaw said.

Ciara is a beautiful girl with a strong father, both of whom are among life's givers. Neither of those are going to change.

yours,

Peter T.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-7/16@940pm
From: kytrad (Jean Ritchie)
Date: 21 Jul 08 - 07:20 PM

Mick and family- George, Jon and I are just checking in after over six weeks away. Still cannot believe this thread and the tragedy and heartbreak it gives us to share. Share it we do, deeply and lovingly.

Dear Ciara, I still see you, a beautiful young thing, dancing on our lawn with all our singing friends around, smiling and enjoying your lovliness and grace. I am 85, so that is probably always the way I shall remember you. May that grace get you through these tragic times, and accompany you and all you know throughout a life filled with great accomplishment for all things Good in this old world, which is in its greatest need for all the lovliness and grace it can get. You and your dear friend, whose last moment was one of laughter and joy, will do it together.

Love,   Jean

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-7/16@940pm
From: Pistachio
Date: 21 Jul 08 - 05:45 PM

Continuing wishes from East Yorkshire, still checking in on this thread. Glad that Ciara got the 'proof' it was not her error at the junction.
((((((((((((((((((((((((HUGS ALL ROUND)))))))))))))))))
Hazel

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-7/16@940pm
From: skipy
Date: 21 Jul 08 - 05:20 PM

Stil here & stil saddened
Skipy

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-7/16@940pm
From: gnu
Date: 21 Jul 08 - 05:06 PM

Yes, Jed. Certainly continuing.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-7/16@940
From: JedMarum
Date: 21 Jul 08 - 04:55 PM

I know the communication on this thread is winding down, but the thoughts and prayers continue. Still thinking you and yours Mick.

Well said, Colin Randall on the issue of the reporter.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-7/16@940pm
From: GUEST,heric
Date: 19 Jul 08 - 09:35 PM

Oh I wanted to say exactly the same thing but didn't know how to phrase it. I hope you enjoy slapping the journalists around, figuratively speaking, so long as it remains just a diversionary hobby for blowing off steam. They are a diversion, though.

I'm also very pleased she doesn't have to work through having made a mistake with large consequences. Instead, it's wrong place wrong time.

Dan

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-7/16@940
From: Genie
Date: 19 Jul 08 - 07:20 PM

Oh, Mick, how terrible for Ciara to have her name (and Terra's) basically besmirched by the irresponsible acts of local "news" personnel on top of the trauma of the accident itself, Terra's death, and her own very serious injuries!   Taking the media to task over this is a very worthwhile cause, and if getting involved in that helps you and your family and Terra's work through your grief, more power to you.   If not, I hope you can set it aside temporarily while you continue the work of helping your wonderful daughter and both families heal. An incredibly hard task but one you seem to be quite well equipped for.

I am so glad the Mudcat community is here for you and yours and grateful to be a part of it.

Love and prayers from Oregon.

Genie

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-7/16@940
From: semi-submersible
Date: 19 Jul 08 - 05:47 PM

Loving wishes still flow to both families every day. Thanks so much for the updates.

That word "debt" touched some nerves the other day, didn't it! To create an obligation, you'd have to be set apart from us. In a family "one hand washes the other." For this we are all grateful. We are particularly thankful to you, Big Mick.

William Carlos Williams exhorted us to share our grief openly with neighbours, "who have perhaps nothing to lose... Share with us..." for as we give ourselves to others' needs, we make ourselves part of something larger - community, as you said - and we always get back more than we give, so humans go on helping each other.

Thus, everyone who responded (and all the others hearing and silently sending love your way) owns gratitude toward you too, as to all who reach out to others with honest hearts. Sharing makes community real. Without your words we would have missed the communion given at such awful cost.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-7/16@940pm
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 19 Jul 08 - 04:21 PM

The business about this reporter is a side issue - but I'd be inclined to think that the responsibility for her actions should be shared with the people above her - and quite possibly with the major fault lying with them.

But the main thing is how Ciara and her familky, and Terra's family, are getting through this, and hoping that our solidarity at a distance is doing something to help with this.   

It sounds to me, in line with what I'd suspected, that the cause of this tragedy was this young man's impatient driving, overtaking at speed in a situation where no one should overtake.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-7/16@940pm
From: lady penelope
Date: 18 Jul 08 - 04:53 PM

Mick, you've done so well by you and yours so far, I know you'll keep doing just that. What a tremendous woman you've raised. For every tear of sadness for this tragedy, you've brought a tear of joy by sharing the warmth, determination and love that this awful situation has engendered.

I feel privilaged to have been included in this.

Much Love, Penny.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-7/16@940pm
From: Tinker
Date: 18 Jul 08 - 09:49 AM

My week has been full of Mudcat thoughts in a way it hasn't been in a very long time. Some community ties call us together regardless of distance in space or time or perspective. Mudcat has taught me alot about that.
Mick, your response is spot on, "normal" is what we are all in the process of becoming. Sometimes its hard to remember that the interplay of light and shadow is part of the pattern. Mudcat threads like this really do weave us together.

Oh, by the time you get back from the shore there just may be a package -- Well, maybe for MaryLou and Ciara so far you seem to be safe...

Love and hugs all around

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-7/16@940
From: Bonnie Shaljean
Date: 18 Jul 08 - 08:54 AM

Thinking of you and willing power and strength and healing your way. I hope this wannabe local reporter is made to suffer some serious consequences for this irresponsible, unprofessional, cruel action. A lawsuit might be an idea, if you have the mental energy for it. Or public naming and shaming (if that doesn't compromise you legally).

Ciara and your family have people from all over the globe pulling for you. She sounds like an amazing young woman, who will come shining through and be the stronger for it. Keep us informed -

Bonnie in Ireland xxx

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-7/16@940pm
From: Max
Date: 18 Jul 08 - 08:40 AM

Much love from me and mine to you and yours. I will kiss my kids even more than I already do too much. You are right, you have some important things to do now, and I couldn't think of a better man for the job. Love you Mick.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-7/16@940pm
From: SINSULL
Date: 18 Jul 08 - 08:33 AM

Grieving takes a number of forms - all healthy - and anger is one. Your broken heart is on its way to healing. One day at a time, Mick. There are a few people here who are in my thoughts every day - your family, Spaw's, the Captain and Jacqui, Tami and TRUBRIT's family, Miss Kitty (katlaughing), Maeve and a few others - the list keeps growing. None of us is ever alone.
SINS

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-7/16@940
From: Greg B
Date: 17 Jul 08 - 10:10 PM

She'll be a much stronger woman for this, Mick.

We had a case here, in Bucks County PA last year, where our
stupid overpaid school superintendent chose not to close the
schools...

it was the day for the exams for the 'regents diploma' or
some such. But the roads were icy. Still, he fed his ego.

And a beautiful, innocent, young straight-A student lost
control of her little Honda car on the ice and plowed right into
a gravel truck.

There was little left to identify.

Her family (her Dad is a minister) and the truck driver,
as well as the policemen who cleaned up the mess will never
be the same.

'Nose to the grindstone' our Superintendent is unrepentant,
at $US 150K+ per year.

The things we teach our children.

What sort of car was it that took that sort of care of her
in the impact?

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-7/16@940pm
From: Big Al Whittle
Date: 17 Jul 08 - 09:18 PM

Only just seen this thread - sorry to have been bothering you. I have just been writing to you about something else.

so sorry.

al

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-7/16@940pm
From: katlaughing
Date: 17 Jul 08 - 03:11 PM

Wesley, nice paraphrase.:-) Though, it was none other than Eleanor Roosevelt who said A woman is like a tea bag- you never know how strong she is until she gets in hot water.

It is wonderful to see so many long-time members who haven't been posting in a while. It's a shame it takes something like this to coax them out. Maybe some of you will consider sticking around and sharing with us, more, once again. You have been missed.

Sorry for the thread creep, Mick.

kat

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-7/16@940
From: astro
Date: 17 Jul 08 - 02:54 PM

Mick,

As a father of a 21 year old daughter I just cringe at what you have had to go through. It is a father's (and mother's) nightmare for what may happen to their children. It is a testament to the parents of the poor lost girl in their response to your daughter. My toast and heartfelt feelings towards them that I extend. I can't imagine any other way to deal with this than what they have done to heal and face life again.

I hope you and your daughter will just have those quiet times to hold, cry, and to celebrate life together.

I would only suggest lightly, remember there are always inconsiderate slobs out there (the reporter) who blunder through life only looking out for themselves. Don't let those idiots take up your attention that should be for those quiet times. Unless people like that reporter learn, they will quickly be forgotten in this life, they are truly hopeless and the testament of their lives will be worthless.

Just know that though you and I don't know one another, a dad just sits here with feelings of sadness, hope for the future, and love for my own along with yours.

Astro, in Tucson

btw, I hope the young man who did hit them is looking for peace, forgiveness, and healing too. We all err, but not as greatly as this young man has.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-7/16@940pm
From: Mrrzy
Date: 17 Jul 08 - 02:38 PM

A grand lassie with a grand father too.

Get that reporter for her, Mick!

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-7/16@940pm
From: Geordie-Peorgie
Date: 17 Jul 08 - 02:10 PM

Mick! Thanks for the update. You've a grand lassie there!

My thoughts and good wishes to Ciara and Terra's folks.

'spaw! Spot on!

G-P

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-7/16@940pm
From: Wesley S
Date: 17 Jul 08 - 12:34 PM

Mick - I'm glad to hear that you've started down the long road of recovery. The trip will seem shorter because you are united as a family. There 's an old saying : "People are like teabags. You never know how strong they are until you get them in hot water". I suspect there is a lot of strength to be found in your family. And in this Mudcat family as well. You and I both know that one don't we?

As far as the reporter goes I would have to ask myself: Is that something that Edward R Morrow would have done? Or David Brinkley? No - of course not. I know it's a different world but somewhere in that reporters heart there should have been a meter that tells them : No - this is going too far. No matter how much I want to get ahead in this business.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-7/16@940pm
From: Willie-O
Date: 17 Jul 08 - 12:06 PM

It is a beautiful lazy summer morning. I am so happy to have a couple of dreadlocked teenagers--one known to me, one not--sleeping it away in our living room, after my son and daughter and friends stayed up noisily until about 4 (right under our bedroom). Seriously, it made me happy. I didn't even go ask them to keep it down at 2 am.

I love Mick and his family and wish them all the support they need in this crisis. But I have my doubts that having a bunch of us harassing the small-town Michigan media is going to be useful in any way. Mick is closest to the situation, and if he feels that the story has been misreported in a prejudicial manner, (there appears to be a pretty good case for that) he can and is addressing it--whether by a letter to the editor or a lawsuit is up to the Lanes. We must all bear in mind that an event like this often leads to various types of legal action, and MORE unwanted media coverage, and as friends of the Lanes it is not our place to provoke anything. Might just have un-useful blowback. We should consider the trauma already experienced by Terra's family, and no doubt by the other driver and his loved ones. If members of the media have acted improperly, (and bear in mind that doing something abhorrent and tasteless isn't necessarily illegal, they are quite different scales and rightly so) they will hear about it and may face consequences, but I think we should leave it with Mick and Mary Lou to pursue the matter as they see fit.         

With deepest respect and hopes for speedy healing for Ciara and all touched by this tragedy

Bill

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-7/16@940pm
From: Den
Date: 17 Jul 08 - 12:03 PM

I don't come around much anymore Mick so first off I'm sorry to be posting so late. Like everyone else I'm very sorry for your troubles but time is a wonderful healer. Hold your daughter close and let her know often that you love her.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-7/16@940pm
From: GUEST,Marymac90
Date: 17 Jul 08 - 10:10 AM

Mick,

My thoughts are going out to you and both families
in this difficult time. I'm glad to find that
this community is still here, and here for you.
Remember that you deserve all this support.

Much love to all from Dela-where?

Marymac

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-7/16@940
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Jul 08 - 08:38 AM

Kick butt and them stomp it into the dirt.

You need help, I know some damned fine lawyers out that way who would LOVE to get involved.

That reporter is lookin' at a major fine and, perhaps, slammer time. ohmythatwouldbetoobad.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-7/16@940pm
From: Roger in Baltimore
Date: 17 Jul 08 - 08:30 AM

Mick,

I am happy to hear that all is going as well as could be expected, although I remain sad about your loss. Like Spaw, I often wonder if the Mudcat is the place it used to be. Looking at the responses to your plight, I realize that there is still much good here. I have come to know you face to face and know you are as strong as your postings. I know many who have posted on this thread only know Mick as a specific character on the Mudcat, yet, they still care about you. I am still learning. May God be with you and with both families.

Big RiB

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-7/16@940pm
From: SINSULL
Date: 17 Jul 08 - 08:28 AM

Any chance of getting this reporter's desk and home phone numbers? Or better yet, her editor's? Several of us would be glad to call and ask (politely) why she was stalking a young woman who obviously was too ill and shaken to protect her own interests. How much reporting could she get done with hundreds of messages clogging her voice mail? Just a thought...

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-7/16@940
From: jacqui.c
Date: 17 Jul 08 - 07:55 AM

Go do battle Mick - this is a righteous fight.

Like Kat, I thought there was more to this than the news report. It's amazing what the traffic reconstruction guys can work out from the circumstances and the damage to the vehicles. I worked as a motor accident claims negotiator for quite a while and I know what force it must have taken to do enough damage to a car to cause such devastation.

Love to you all from Maine.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-7/16@940pm
From: Little Robyn
Date: 17 Jul 08 - 05:23 AM

Love from New Zealand as well.
Robyn

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-7/16@940
From: scouse
Date: 17 Jul 08 - 04:31 AM

Mick.. Thanks for your update. My minds often in turmoil over what reporters make up just to sell their version of news.
My thoughts and love to you and your family,
As Aye,
Phil.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-7/16@940
From: Waddon Pete
Date: 17 Jul 08 - 04:07 AM

Good to hear that you are keeping on keeping on Mick.

Thank you for the updates and many healing thoughts still wafting over from Suffolk.

Spaw...what you said....exactly right!

Love from Suffolk,

Peter

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-7/16@940pm
From: GUEST,LTS pretending to work
Date: 17 Jul 08 - 02:50 AM

Oh Mick..... not enough words and too public a desk to say the ones I can think of.... The reporter deserves to have his ass kicked, go for it man!

Love from the other side of the pond and the smelly metrolopis of London.

LTS

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-7/16@940
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 17 Jul 08 - 02:25 AM

love from far away Australia to you both, Mick & Ciara

sandra

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-7/16@940
From: lisa null
Date: 17 Jul 08 - 01:31 AM

Mick--

Just an update to your updates telling you how close i feel to you and your daughter... your words to her were good. My brother was murdered when I was only a year or tewo older than your daughter-- I was never the same, and it is an experience i would never wish on anyone. Still, it is an experience from which one learns and grows and becomes deeper and more sensitive to the richness and seriousness of life. Charlie and i are with you in every way....

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-7/16@940
From: Colin Randall
Date: 17 Jul 08 - 12:34 AM

Mick



Despite the poor reputation of the entire trade of journalism, there are good and decent reporters who - I hope - heavily outnumber the appalling, unfeeling and unethical beasts of the sort that would try to contact a minor in the way you describe. The broad principle probably applies to most areas of human activity.

I have worked in newspapers for most of my life and now occupy a reasonably senior position (predominantly in news; writing about folk music is a small part of what I do). The issue of approaches to people who find themselves in the media spotlight after some awful event is a tricky one, and I would willingly participate in the future debate you propose.

But if any reporter under my command acted in this way, I would regard it as serious enough to warrant dismissal. I am not even sure I would quarrel with your argument that it has the feel of predatory criminal conduct.

My thoughts, as expressed in an earlier message, remain with you and both families.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-7/16@940
From: GUEST,Jack the Sailor
Date: 17 Jul 08 - 12:24 AM

Thank you for the update. May God bless you all.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-7/16@940pm
From: catspaw49
Date: 17 Jul 08 - 12:20 AM

Sorry, but its against the law for an Ohioan to send any positive greetings to "the state up north." It all started with Toledo and then deteriorated badly during the lifetimes of Woody Hayes and Bo Schembechler.....................

Spaw

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-7/16@940
From: Seamus Kennedy
Date: 17 Jul 08 - 12:16 AM

Mick, I'll contact you privately.
All my best to Ciara and you.

Seamus

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-7/16@940
From: Amos
Date: 17 Jul 08 - 12:14 AM

ANd tel her love from the Southern California beaches, as well, Mick. She's a gem of a girl.


A

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-7/16@940pm
From: Beer
Date: 16 Jul 08 - 10:36 PM

I like that Alice. "Love from Montana".
Here is Love from Quebec Canada Ciara.
Adrien

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-7/16@940
From: Alice
Date: 16 Jul 08 - 10:26 PM

Mick, your description is so much like my parent's car accident. My dad stopped at an intersection on a rural road where he had a yield sign. He looked both ways and started to cross, when a driver, speeding on his way to work in the morning, came around a curve and hit them broadside. From the impact and location of how the cars landed, he must have been going at least 70 in a 35 mph zone. The speeder had a sprained ankle, but he killed 3 people. There are so many things outside of our control.

Take care, and tell Ciara love from Montana.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-7/16@940pm
From: Beer
Date: 16 Jul 08 - 10:25 PM

Thanks for the up date Mick. My thoughts are with you and your love ones.
Spaw, one day I hope to meet you. I like what you say and feel.
Adrien

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-7/16@940pm
From: catspaw49
Date: 16 Jul 08 - 10:15 PM

Nothing to be said from this quarter.......well, just a few thoughts perhaps...............

Ciara has all she needs and a future in her own hands. I feel confident she'll ask for what she neeeds pretty much as she needs it and equally confident the support is so strong behind her that nothing will be insurmountable. Great kid Mick.......Good parents I'd say......

This is a remarkable community. Ten years ago we felt our way along and surprised ourselves at how deeply we felt for one sick guy. Since then we have opened ourselves even further to the closeness that any real community has. As we have learned about ourselves, we have continued to face more and more situations with a bonding together not often seen other places.

Our numbers have grown and with that there has come the problems of growth that any village goes through as their populace increases. Some move in and become an integral part, others are enjoying the life in the village but can be counted on to show up when needed. Some though will simply arrive and never see the reality of the community outside the small space they occupy. Its the net, but its the real world as well and it mirrors exactly what happens in the 3D world.

The community has seen much illness and death and other tragedies as the years have passed and in every case I am dumbfounded at the warmth, love, compassion, and generosity, of Mudcat Village. It does me good.

You see, after these many years, like others, I've gotten bored with seeing much of the same in the daily threads and have amused myself at the expense of others whom I cared little for and who seemed to care not at all for this place I have loved so much. I'd apologize but why? No sense apologizing, its over. This thread and the terrible news from Laurel (Open Mike) have proven for me once again that the denizens of this town are in greater numbers and just as actively involved in the caring as ever before......(and if you haven't sent something, somehow yet, do it soon!).

Thank you all for rekindling a faith in this place that I felt I'd lost. To those who have come for just the chat, take a dip in the lake here and see if it doesn't have some healing waters in it for you as well.

Spaw

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-7/16@940pm
From: katlaughing
Date: 16 Jul 08 - 10:15 PM

Thanks from me, too, Mick. If it is any consolation, I think a lot of us read between the lines. When I read the young man was passing the tractor, my first thought was he should not have been passing in an intersection; I felt sure there was more to it than what the media was reporting. It is deplorable the media actually tried to contact her privately.

Much love and healing thoughts to you all,

luvyakat

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-7/16@940pm
From: ranger1
Date: 16 Jul 08 - 10:09 PM

Thanks for the update, Mick. Ciara has been in my thoughts frequently these last several days.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-7/11@913pm
From: Big Mick
Date: 16 Jul 08 - 09:40 PM

OK, update time.

The first thing that I must say is that even though I have witnessed and participated in the Mudcat miracle many times over the years, it still floors me, most especially when one is the recipient. It is humbling, it is gratifying, and it restores ones faith in humans of all stripes. I am so proud to be a part of this community.

It appears more and more that there is much more to this accident than first met the eye. If one read the news reports, or listened to the TV reports, they would think that this was a case of a couple of girls giggling, having fun, not paying attention, missing a stop sign, all with tragic results. But that is not the case. Ciara pulled up to the stop sign and stopped according to the witnesses. There was a tractor pulling a loaded hay wagon very slowly. Ciara looked, determined she had plenty of time, pulled out to cross the road. At that moment, a young man in a car behind the wagon decided he had had enough, gunned the car and passed in the intersection, and hit Ciara. There were no skid marks, he never even had time to react. The farmer said Ciara stopped and looked. The Traffic Reconstruction Lieutenant said it was "a perfect storm of an accident". I am at war with the media. First they reported the accident and then speculated that Ciara had run a stop sign. Then I discorver, much to my anger, that a reporter sent Ciara a message on Facebook, asking her to contact her privately and give them details of the accident. This after they reported that she was a minor, that she was in critical condition, and while the investigation was ongoing. Old Mick loves a fight, especially when someone else picks it. This is one of those times. The media, if they are acting with integrity, has the job to report the news, not create it. They have the obligation to be accurate, and not speculate. If there is any integrity involved, they would balance the public's need to know with the potential effect on the individuals, the families, and the community. And under no circumstances should they be contacting minor children for statements without the parents, who are responsible, consent. As I pointed out to the Editor in Chief, there is a TV show on in the States that deals with online predators who take advantage of minors by preying on them via the internet. Understanding that the show is about sexual predators, but really about preying on young teens, I asked him how his reporter was any different? I am not done with this one, in fact I have barely started. We are going to have a discussion in this community about journalistic integrity in the Brave, New World.

Ciara continues to heal, and she continues to amaze. She got out of the hospital just in time to visit with Terra's remarkable family. Many tears were shed between us. The next day, at Terra's funeral, with the blessing of Terra's Mom, she spoke during the funeral. A very brave young lady, and I am so proud to be her Dad. The next day we were having breakfast and she asked me, "Dad, will I ever be a normal kid again?". I told her she already was a normal kid, but she would never be the same kid again. She has experienced something that many, thanks be to God, never have to face. She told me that she has been thinking about it a lot, and that her very last memory of Terra was of Terra laughing. Ciara has accepted that it was Terra's time to depart this earth, and she told me that she feels honored to have been the one that spent the last moments with her and laughing. We have much healing to do, but if that is the point we are starting from, this Dad is feeling good about that. We know we have work to do, and I know about the imp known as PTSD. But we will get through this, together.

Thanks for showing the miraculous Mudcat heart. It truly is a wonder.

Love to all,

Mick

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-7/11@913pm
From: Liam's Brother
Date: 16 Jul 08 - 09:16 PM

Mick,
Just came across this today. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
Dan

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-7/11@913pm
From: GUEST,Sheila
Date: 16 Jul 08 - 09:08 PM

I am so sorry to read this. I will say a prayer for you and yours.

Sheila

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-7/11@913pm
From: SINSULL
Date: 16 Jul 08 - 09:01 PM

Uh, Mick. What Dani says does not include the ring...

I pray for you and yours every day.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-7/11@913pm
From: Willie-O
Date: 16 Jul 08 - 08:44 PM

refresh.

Mick, do please let us know how Ciara's doing when you have a chance. I think I can say that we are all concerned about her well-being.

Bill

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-7/11@913
From: maeve
Date: 14 Jul 08 - 11:13 AM

Refresh

We're still thinking of you and yours, Mick.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-7/11@913pm
From: sapper82
Date: 13 Jul 08 - 02:00 PM

Thinking of and praying for you, Mick, big ugly shamrock yank that you are!
Times like this remind us of how precious our children are and how much pain there is when we loose them.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-7/11@913pm
From: MartinRyan
Date: 13 Jul 08 - 05:33 AM

From another latecomer to this thread ..... Be well, Mick.


Martin

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-7/11@913
From: Mudlark
Date: 13 Jul 08 - 05:21 AM

Dear Mick...I haven't been on Mudcat for some time, and was dismayed to read of your tragic news. Sorry, sorry, sorry....My best thoughts and strongest wishes for steady recovery for you all.
Nancy

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-7/11@913pm
From: Art Thieme
Date: 12 Jul 08 - 11:34 PM

Again, Mick, please know --- we're with you. ----- Art

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-7/11@913pm
From: GUEST,Dani
Date: 12 Jul 08 - 05:11 PM

Yes, let us hear no more of this 'debt' shit, ok?

And keep checking in when you can...

Dani

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-7/11@913pm
From: Hollowfox
Date: 12 Jul 08 - 05:01 PM

Oh Mick, I'm so sorry that this happened. My heart goes out to you, as my prayers go upward.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-7/11@913
From: jacqui.c
Date: 12 Jul 08 - 01:15 PM

Mick - you have always been there for the rest of us, in grief as well as happy times. Would you expect less in return?

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-7/11@913pm
From: gnu
Date: 12 Jul 08 - 11:42 AM

Megan... you brought even more tears to my eyes. Thanks.

Mick, buddy... "......and I am in your debt." Never.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-7/11@913
From: momnopp
Date: 12 Jul 08 - 11:33 AM

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Mick}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

JudyO/momnopp

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-7/11@913
From: maeve
Date: 12 Jul 08 - 07:33 AM

Ahhh, Megan. Yes.

Mick, you have your answer.

"Let us take this walk together" Jan Harmon

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-7/11@913pm
From: Megan L
Date: 12 Jul 08 - 04:06 AM

"......and I am in your debt."


Mick there is no debt among friends for as you receive today you will give tommorow. Friendship even among people who will never meet is like the vast tide that touches every shore in the world, it ebbs and flows with the pull of life but when friends are needed they are there.

A fragile thread of strength

Alone I am one
A fragile thread
broken and battered
by the trials of life.
I feel darkness suround me
and know I cannot go on.

Then out of the darkness
A hand stretches to me
The hand of a loved one
The hand of a neighbour
The hand of someone I may never know
And as it touches me
I am no loger alone.

Their faith may be my faith
their faith may be something very different
The may profess no faith save in life itself.
Yet each day their touch of prayer
their touch of thoughts and wishes
Strengthen me

I am not one
no longer a single fragile thread
For I am woven in
with all the other fragile threads
Together we are strong as a firemans blanket
Together we are a warm blanket
that can cover the world.

mhtbl. july 12th 2008 0905

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-7/11@913
From: chazkratz
Date: 12 Jul 08 - 03:05 AM

Mick, I just checked in for the first time in at least a month and the first thing I saw was the awful news. My love and condolences and best wishes to you and your family, and may all of your beautiful memories of the Earth child Terra manage in time to temper the grief.


Charles

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-7/11@913pm
From: GUEST,jOhn
Date: 12 Jul 08 - 01:20 AM

Take care Mick.


John

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-7/11@913pm
From: Sandy Mc Lean
Date: 11 Jul 08 - 11:37 PM

Mick, I have been away on vacation for a week and just got back on line. My deepest sympathy to you, your daughter, and to her friends family! Having lost a brother in an auto crash years ago I understand the tragic devistation that it can cause.
                     Sandy

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-7/11@913pm
From: katlaughing
Date: 11 Jul 08 - 11:21 PM

It's a sure thing this thread does not suffer from lack of tears...I know we haven't come near to shedding as many as you and your families have done, Mick, but I thank you for taking the time to come back to us when you are able and continue the connection which brings us all together and lets the tears flow freely. May the sharing of grief lessen its pain. (I think it was you advised us all one time of that one.)

I am not surprised to hear Ciara was able to speak at the funeral...she is definitely her dad's daughter...and Mary Lou's, too. Another big heart. Blessed Be to you all.

luvyakat

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-7/8@9:33
From: Janie
Date: 11 Jul 08 - 11:15 PM

Kathy,

Thanks so much for sharing that lovely and poignant blessing.

and Mick,

Thanks for taking the time to let us know how everyone is faring, especially Ciara. May the openess of the broken hearts among your family and Terra's be a path of healing for all of you.

Janie

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-7/8@9:33am**
From: Beer
Date: 11 Jul 08 - 09:52 PM

Mick,
I recall a short note that was left in a card when my brother got killed falling off a roof years back. I never forgot them and I have to say that they are true. I don't have a clue who penned them.


"There is an unconscious healing process within the mind which mends up in spite of our desperate determination never to forget".

Adrien

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-7/8@9:33am**
From: Big Mick
Date: 11 Jul 08 - 09:13 PM

I have tried to start this a half dozen times today, but I just can't find the words to adequately express all I am feeling. Here goes number 7.

First, an update on Ciara's condition. She is out of the hospital after spending 3 days in the intensive care unit of Helen DeVos Childrens Hospital. As her hemoglobin levels stabilized, they then moved her into the general ward, in a private room, and went to twice daily checks as opposed to the more intensive stuff for two more days. As Spaw told you (love you, buddy, and thanks!!), she has a lacerated spleen, a lacerated liver, a pneumothorax, a concussion, and massive bruising in the chest and lap area, as well as some whiplash. She responded well to treatment. I think they really wanted to keep her a bit longer, but she was insistent on being released in time for the visitation/funeral on Wednesday and Thursday. But she is under very close watch for the next three weeks.

Physically she is recovering just fine. We are well aware that the care and counseling she needs is beyond our pay grade. I can tell you all that I am well aware of the little monster that still runs around my mind from time to time known as PTSD. We are blessed that we have found a wonderful therapist who works with teens and is very effective. Her edge is that she herself went through this same event as a young woman. We are headed for vacation at the Jersey shore in a week, and when we get back we will start the process.

The family of Terra is a rare jewel to be cherished. Almost from the first minute they expressed love and caring about my little girl. After a very trying day of visitation, they stayed and made time for Ciara and our family to come privately to meet with them. It went as you would expect, and they expressed love and support for Ciara. Very difficult, but very necessary. And this family made it therapeutic for Ciara. All the way down to the cousins, they embraced her and reassured her that no one blames her and that it was purely and simply an accident. Ciara, brave kid that she is, asked if she could speak at the funeral, the family said yes, and she did. She kept it simple, heartfelt, and did very well, only breaking down at the end. I was proud of her.

As to her Mother and I, we are well aware that now our families are tied together forever, and that our daughter now has to be shared. We are very grateful to the community we live in. This could be going much worse, it may yet. But we have a tremendous support group.

Mudcat, once again, has been a source of growth for me. Your outpouring of support, prayers, good thoughts, advice, PM's ..... most of you have no way of understanding how very important they are. Spaw gets it, so does Kendall. Those who have lost someone get it as well. Your love and concern, even from those I have not treated the best, have stunned me and raised the humility factor geometrically. I am reminded that behind the "handles" and online personnas, there is a caring community of real people that care about others enough to say so, and take what steps they can to share that. Events like this serve to remind us that we need to be more childlike in our caring for others. We need to drop these ridiculous barriers we construct to honest emotion, and genuine caring for others. We need to remember that someone's opinion in an online forum are not the stuff which feuds should be based on. What is important are the lives we touch, and the residue we leave in them. What you have left with me is honest caring, and a sense of a caring community.......


......and I am in your debt.

All the best,

Mick

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-7/8@9:33am**
From: KathWestra
Date: 11 Jul 08 - 06:49 PM

This must feel like the longest week of your lives. Know that you, Mary Lou, Ciara, and Terra's family have been held close all the while, in my heart and so many others. Love to you all. Kath

This Blessing is from the late Irish poet, John O'Donohue, whose book, "To Bless the Space Between Us," was published after his own untimely death in January. This poem, written for another who was grieving great loss, is taken from that book.

Beannacht
For Josie
(c) John O'Donohue from "To Bless the Space Between Us," Doubleday 2008

On the day when
The weight deadens
On your shoulders
And you stumble,
May the clay dance
To balance you.

And when your eyes
Freeze behind
The gray window
And the ghost of loss
Gets into you,
May a flock of colors,
Indigo, red, green
And azure blue,
Come to awaken in you
A meadow of delight.

When the canvas frays
In the curragh of thought
And a stain of ocean
Blackens beneath you,
May there come across the waters
A path of yellow moonlight
To bring you safely home.

May the nourishment of the earth be yours,
May the clarity of light be yours,
May the fluency of the ocean be yours,
May the protection of the ancestors be yours.

And so may a slow
Wind work these words
Of love around you,
An invisible cloak
To mind your life.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-7/8@9:33am**
From: katlaughing
Date: 10 Jul 08 - 11:46 PM

Giving thanks for the Light of Peace and Understanding, as well as Healing which surrounds and blesses all of you. You are in my thoughts constantly and my heart always.

Rue sends her condolences and best, too, Mick.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-7/8@9:33am**
From: GUEST,Dani
Date: 10 Jul 08 - 08:33 PM

Who knew I even REMEMBERED what a rosary was?!

But I said one for all of you on the long drive into work late this morning. I have no idea why. They Hail Mary wasn't my favorite prayer even in my Catholic days, but it came right to my lips for some reason.

So, a rosary for both your families.

Dani

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-7/8@9:33am**
From: Charmion
Date: 10 Jul 08 - 08:27 PM

Another late voice in the chorus --

I'm so sorry for this terrible trouble, and pray for both your families.

Ch

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-7/8@9:33
From: Janie
Date: 10 Jul 08 - 07:36 PM

Mick, know that even when this thread drops of the page for awhile, many of us will continue to hold all of you, especially Ciara, in our thoughts and prayers.

Janie

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-7/8@9:33am**
From: Willie-O
Date: 10 Jul 08 - 02:28 PM

I'm thinking constantly of the families affected by tragedy on this most difficult day. Hope you are having a helpful grieving, and especially that Ciara is able to participate in some way to help her get through it.

love
Bill

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-7/8@9:33am**
From: Tinker
Date: 10 Jul 08 - 12:04 PM

Hey love, I've been off line for awhile and a bit disconnected. But then I began to read.
I've been trying ever so hard to process this since yesterday. I went our to the garden and picked up a few more rocks and set them in a fountain of copper just letting the waters flow and flow and flow. Healing, soothing, traveling.... Oh course I'm crying... but you knew that. Just make sure you leave a few chinks in your own amor to let all of the strength flowing your way support and cherish you and yours.

Blessings

tink

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-7/8@9:33
From: GUEST,Ghirotondo
Date: 10 Jul 08 - 09:20 AM

I don't know what to say of a tragedy like this.
I offer you my silence.
Lanfranco from Italy.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-7/8@9:33
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Jul 08 - 09:06 AM

May you and yours stay strong today, Mick.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-7/8@9:33am**
From: GUEST,Dani
Date: 10 Jul 08 - 08:13 AM

Thinking of you all this morning....

Dani

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-7/8@9:33am**
From: Ferrara
Date: 09 Jul 08 - 09:18 PM

Mick, just want to say again, that you, Ciara, MaryLou, Terra and her family are in my thoughts all day long and I am sending the best thoughts and prayers I know how. Will be thinking of you all especially tomorrow and sending light and healing as best I can.

Love,
Rita

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-7/8@9:33am**
From: GUEST,WYS at Ed's
Date: 09 Jul 08 - 07:47 PM

Been away-- God be good to you all, Mick, as He always is.

~S~

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-7/8@9:33am**
From: quokka
Date: 09 Jul 08 - 07:28 PM

Deep sympathy to you and your family, Mick, as I read the thread I can't stop the tears from flowing. Hope you're finding some comfort here from your many friends
Quokka

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-7/8@9:33
From: Genie
Date: 09 Jul 08 - 04:50 PM

online obit w/link to the Guest Book

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-7/8@9:33
From: Genie
Date: 09 Jul 08 - 04:47 PM

Just clickifying the URLs GUEST posted to the local paper's obit and guest book:

more

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-7/8@9:33am**
From: Big Tim
Date: 09 Jul 08 - 04:41 PM

Mick, you once told me (something like) 'a 3 year old grandaughter makes you think that you're the nearest thing to God'. You were right.                                                         

Your great humanity will be a strength.

Altho it's the last thing on your mind just now, please remember that I'm only an hour from Glasgow airport and have plenty space.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-7/8@9:33
From: Tig
Date: 09 Jul 08 - 04:11 PM

Only just got round to reading this. I feel for you and all concerned.

(((((((((((((((((XXXXXXXX)))))))))))))))))))

Love and healing hugs to all concerned.

Tig
xxx

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-7/8@9:33am**
From: Partridge
Date: 09 Jul 08 - 02:42 PM

Oh Mick, such sad news. I'm glad you and your daughter are getting support. I am sending my positive and loving thoughts to you, yours, and Terras family.

When things like this happen it makes us all hold our loved ones a little closer. An extra hug, telling your family and friends that you love them.

In this community there is a lot of love, and its there for you.
You are loved and you are never alone.

love

Pat xxxxxxxxx

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-7/8@9:33am**
From: Micca
Date: 09 Jul 08 - 12:15 PM

Mick, I have searched for any words that might contribute anything to this and found none, my heart goes out to you, Ciara, Mary Lou and to Terras family also.
All I can offer is the words of a gifted friend that have brought me comfort at such times.
"Now is the Dark Time
and the cold time too
Gather round Circle of Friends
The comfort of singing voices
will see us through
until the Dark Time ends"
Alouette Iselin

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-7/8@9:33am**
From: catspaw49
Date: 09 Jul 08 - 11:39 AM

Just a quick correction to Sinsull's post above.......The funeral for Terra is scheduled for Thursday, not today.

Whenever it is, they all need our thoughts and prayers..............

Spaw

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-7/8@9:33
From: GUEST
Date: 09 Jul 08 - 11:28 AM

Sorry, also meant to include the link to the story in the local newspaper:

http://www.mlive.com/grandrapids/stories/index.ssf?/base/news-42/1215436533146250.xml&coll=6

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-7/8@9:33
From: GUEST
Date: 09 Jul 08 - 11:19 AM

The online obit w/link to the Guest Book is here:

http://obits.mlive.com/GrandRapids/DeathNotices.asp?Page=SearchResults

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-7/8@9:33am**
From: Dave Swan
Date: 09 Jul 08 - 10:46 AM

All warm and kind thoughts on this and every other tough day.

D

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-7/8@9:33am**
From: catspaw49
Date: 09 Jul 08 - 10:32 AM

Special thoughts for all today..........I am still unbelievably without any more meaningful words.

Spaw

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-7/8@9:33
From: GUEST,saulgoldie
Date: 09 Jul 08 - 10:24 AM

Words fail me. Thoughts and prayers out to you and all of those close to the girl.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-7/8@9:33am**
From: Willie-O
Date: 09 Jul 08 - 10:09 AM

Oh man, what a tragedy.

I can only repeat that we are holding Ciara, Terra and their families in our hearts. What a difficult time for you all, especially today. Hold the love for those who have lost so much, and we will send more.

I only hope that you will all soon be able to appreciate happy memories of your young friend and family member Terra, whom we all wish could have stayed longer.

Special extra hugs to Ciara and MaryLou.
love
Bill

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-7/8@9:33am**
From: alison
Date: 09 Jul 08 - 09:43 AM

My dear friend Mick,

I just arrived back in Belfast after a few weeks in Spain to read your news.

I am so very sorry for your loss. Ciara is a strong girl - look at the genes - she has her Dad's strength, even though its difficult for you to see your strength at the minute.

love, hugs, prayers and whatever you need winging its way to you and those around you.

check your PMs

slainte

alison

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-7/8@9:33am**
From: BusyBee Paul
Date: 09 Jul 08 - 09:13 AM

More hugs and love from across the pond.

Deirdre in Lincolnshire.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-7/8@9:33am**
From: gnu
Date: 09 Jul 08 - 08:14 AM

Thoughts and prayers... keep the faith, buddy.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-7/8@9:33am**
From: SINSULL
Date: 09 Jul 08 - 08:13 AM

Today is Terra's funeral. My heart is with you and yours, Mick. One day at a time.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-7/8@9:33am**
From: GUEST,Lizzie Cornish
Date: 09 Jul 08 - 06:58 AM

Much love to you, Mick.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-7/8@9:33am**
From: GUEST,KT
Date: 09 Jul 08 - 02:31 AM

Mick, I've been away and without computer access until today. I am so, so sorry. I'm holding all of you in my heart and my prayers.
KT

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-7/8@9:33
From: Amos
Date: 08 Jul 08 - 11:42 PM

A big enough man to let his tears show to the world is aman who can weather every storm. SOmetimes a problem won't choke; sometimes the only resolution is to let yourself be with it and feel it fully.

I am with you in spirit, and you can call any time, should you wish; meanwhile, all my love and support, big guy. We're rooting for you and for yours. Thanks for that beautiful communique on community; it restores my faith in human kind.


A

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-7/8@9:33
From: Celtaddict
Date: 08 Jul 08 - 11:01 PM

I am so glad that you and Terra's family are able to share your love and concern and grief for both your daughters.
Love and hugs,
Janet

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-7/8@9:33am**
From: Uncle Phil
Date: 08 Jul 08 - 10:51 PM

Michelle and I extend our condolences to both families. I hope the thoughts and prayers reflected in this thread continue to provide you with some measure of comfort.
- Phil

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-7/8@9:33
From: Alice
Date: 08 Jul 08 - 09:01 PM

Love to you and all there with you, Mick.

Alice

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-7/8@9:33
From: GUEST
Date: 08 Jul 08 - 08:10 PM

Sorry to hear of your loss. Just know that our thoughts are with you and your daughter.

JAB

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-7/8@9:33am**
From: Little Hawk
Date: 08 Jul 08 - 06:27 PM

Good on you, Mick. We are all with you in spirit.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-8/8@9:33am**
From: irishenglish
Date: 08 Jul 08 - 04:48 PM

Don't know how on earth this slipped by me, but Mick-all the best for these tough times....all the best.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-8/8@9:33am**
From: Barry Finn
Date: 08 Jul 08 - 04:44 PM

Hi Mick, you don't need to say much, just let us know how you & yours are doing from time to time, we all want to see this through with you & your family, lean on us, as much as you'd like. Best of luck buddy. Glad to hear that you're weathering the storm as best you can. If it helps to know all our are hearts are acking right along with you.

Barry

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-8/8@9:33
From: jacqui.c
Date: 08 Jul 08 - 04:40 PM

Love to you all Mick - we will be here, every day, checking the thread.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-8/8@9:33am**
From: Zen
Date: 08 Jul 08 - 11:52 AM

My thoughts are with you, your daughter and your family, and also with Terra's too.

Strength to you all.

Zen

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick SeeSpawUpdate-7/8
From: katlaughing
Date: 08 Jul 08 - 11:16 AM

What Sinsull said and the others. Thank you for coming back to catch us up, Mick, and rest assured we are here for you and all concerned.

luvyakat

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick SeeSpawUpdate-7/8
From: Wesley S
Date: 08 Jul 08 - 10:59 AM

I'm glad to hear that you're getting the support you need now. It will continue for some time to come. We're here for you too.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick SeeSpawUpdate-7/8
From: Barbara Shaw
Date: 08 Jul 08 - 10:49 AM

Mick, I too have shed many a tear on reading this thread and hearing about the burdens so many people have to bear. What is heartening is the evidence of so much love and so much caring in this world, during a time when all seems hopeless and we all feel helpless. Here's my own little offering of love and caring...

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick SeeSpawUpdate-7/8
From: Trevor
Date: 08 Jul 08 - 10:19 AM

Mick - I've only just spotted this. I've been on the receiving end of love lately, from all over the world, channelled through this place - the warmth is tangible, and it worked for Hollie, Helen and me.
Don't know what else to say, but...(((((((((((()))))))))))) from Shropshire.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick SeeSpawUpdate-7/8
From: Ferrara
Date: 08 Jul 08 - 10:02 AM

Oh, Mick. Obviously both Ciara and Terra are very, very well loved. Thank you for taking the time to let us know a bit more.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick SeeSpawUpdate-7/8
From: SINSULL
Date: 08 Jul 08 - 09:47 AM

Mick,
None of us expected a visit to this thread or a response to our PMs. It is a relief to know that you and Mary Lou are surrounded by good, supportive people. It is a bigger relief to know that Terra's parents will support Ciara through her mourning.
You and your family have earned your place in that loving community. Let them continue to help you.
Be well, my friend.
Mary

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick SeeSpawUpdate-7/8
From: Big Mick
Date: 08 Jul 08 - 09:33 AM

I am sorry I haven't revisited or responded to all of you. I have been living in a hospital, and trying to make sense out of all this.

Ciara is a wonderful kid, with a very big heart, and loved by all who know her. This tragedy is going to take a toll, but my baby has enough heart to spare some.

I must tell you about some remarkable people. Terra's family, shattered at the loss of their baby, and yet they are concerned about Ciara. We will grieve the loss of this daughter together. They have made special time for us to come and grieve together. There are no recriminations, nothing but love and concern for the little girl left behind. I am almost overcome by my grief for them, and for our own loss of the little girl who claimed our guest room and left the blanket that Ciara now will not sleep without.

Community. I have spent a lifetime working in communities around this country. They have names, like Phoenix, Houston, Sioux Falls, Philadelphia. Or so I thought. Those are just place names. Community is the 15 kids that showed up yesterday from a little town 40 miles away to tell my daughter they are here for her. Community is the little girl and her Mother who loved Terra, and showed up in the intensive care unit at almost midnight and asked the nurse if they could just check on her. Community are the 6 mothers that show up every day from such a long way away just to be here for our family. Community is the Protestant and Catholic churches both praying and rallying the kids to my kids support.

Community is a bunch of good folks, from all over the world that come to this site each day and check if there is anything new. It is prayers and good thoughts from Christians, Jews, Moslems, Pagans, agnostics and atheists for my little girl. It is old friends and old antagonists, all laying it aside to care about my little girl.

I am a big man, and I usually am the one who grabs a problem by the throat and chokes the life out of it. But today, I am just a guy who could not cope, and might have broken in the face of all this .... were it not for community. I am choking on tears for what my sweet kid has to face. But we will face it together ... strengthened by the love, prayers, and good wishes or our friends and family ..... our loving community.

Thank you...... its all I can think to say.

Love,

Mick

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick SeeSpawUpdate-7/
From: Peg
Date: 08 Jul 08 - 09:29 AM

I'm very sorry to hear of the loss of your friend. This kind of thing is always devastating. I have been through it myself more than once. Losing someone suddenly, especially someone young, is just about the hardest thing to go through in this life, in my opinion. Time does heal but it is not an easy road. My thoughts and well wishes go out to you and the families and friends involved.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick SeeSpawUpdate-7/
From: Andrez
Date: 08 Jul 08 - 08:06 AM

Mick,

I dont know you or even what country you are in but with so much that is sad and tragic in our world today I just dont have enough tears for all of that but reading your story and the posts above in response I can shed tears for you and your family as well as the family of Ciara's friend. I dont really have any words I can offer despite being someone who did 14 years working with damaged and hurt children in child protection.

I had a very near miss road accident the other night that could have involved a vehicle hitting the passenger door where my 14 year old daughter was sitting. The error was mine, a moment of inattention, but three days later I'm still shaking at even the thought of what might have happened if I'd been a little slower on the brakes.

So I'd just like to add some tears to the love and warmth already flowing out to you and your daughter Ciara and the family of Ciara's friend too because somethings are just too big for words.

Hugs, thoughts and prayers,

Andrez

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick SeeSpawUpdate-7/
From: Mooh
Date: 08 Jul 08 - 07:07 AM

Very, very sorry to hear of this. What heartache! Be strong in the face of it all.

Have been away for a few days and without highspeed or a reliable phone line, so I'm late to the thread as usual. With two daughters, one of them still a teen and still at home, my home is often populated with kids that aren't mine in the conventional sense, but are all "ours". We try to love them all, however fleeting their acceptance, and it's wonderful when they tell us how comfortable they feel in our home.

Once in a while we are hurt by life, but we go on living. When the particulars of the aftermath of loss are past, we are left with the good memories, the warm feelings, and the knowledge that we did our best for those we love.

Our thoughts and prayers.

Peace, Mooh.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick SeeSpawUpdate-7/8
From: Bryn Pugh
Date: 08 Jul 08 - 04:50 AM

Thanks for the update, Spaw. Blessings, to you and to Mick from Erica and Bryn

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick SeeSpawUpdate-7/8
From: Hawker
Date: 08 Jul 08 - 04:19 AM

Mick! been off line, and came back to this! So sorry, kindest thoughts and love for you, your daughter, your family and your daughter's friends family. We are all here for you.
love, Lucy

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick SeeSpawUpdate-7/8
From: eddie1
Date: 08 Jul 08 - 03:03 AM

Hi Mick

We've never "met" on the pages of Mudcat but I feel for you. Time does not take the pain away but it does blunt it. The day will come when you and your daughter can look back at memories, appreciate the times you all had together, and smile. May this day not be too far off and may there be lots of these memories.

Eddie

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick SeeSpawUpdate-7/
From: JennieG
Date: 08 Jul 08 - 02:07 AM

Mick, I'm so sorry. Ciara has you to help her through, and you have us.

Love and hugs
JennieG

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick SeeSpawUpdate-7/8
From: Little Hawk
Date: 07 Jul 08 - 11:09 PM

We will all soar like that someday. Love never dies.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick SeeSpawUpdate-7/
From: Janie
Date: 07 Jul 08 - 09:54 PM

We call to the East, the dawn, the place of beginnings, birth, renewal

To all the creatures of the East, the two leggeds, the four leggeds, the creepycrawlies
those that walk, or crawl on the ground, burrow in the earth, or fly up in the air
The plant people, the insect people
We call on all the creatures of the East to join us now in this sacred circle
for Mick, Ciara, Terra, Mary Lou, and all their circle of kin and loved ones.

We call on all the creatures of the East.

To the South, the land of light, warmth. The place of growing.
To all the creatures of the South, the plant people, the insect people
The two-leggeds and the four leggeds. The six leggeds and the no leggeds.
To all the creatures of the South
Come join us now in this circle of sorrow and healing.

To the West, the land of death, harvest, the place of crossing over to the spirit world.
To all our relations in the West
The creepy-crawlies, the insect people, the two-leggeds, the four leggeds
To all that walk or crawl upon or within the ground, or fly up in the air.
To all the creatures of the West, we invite you now to come join our sacred circle.

And to the North, the land of dark, cold, the place of rest, of sleep, of dormancy
To all the creatures of the North, those that fly, those that crawl
Those that walk upon the earth or tunnel underground.
To all who dwell in that sacred place of rest, darkness, dormancy
To all our relations in the North, come join us now to make this sacred circle.

To all the creatures of the earth and in the four directions,
Join us now in this great circle
All the creatures of the East, the South, the West, the North
The two-leggeds, the four-leggeds, the winged ones, the legless ones
Those that walk, those that crawl, those that fly, those that live beneath the ground.
To All Our Relations, join us in this circle, sacred. Whole.
From all the four directions, come now and sit with us as we encircle
Terra. Ciara. Mick. Mary Lou. The Mother of Terra. The Father of Terra.
The brothers, sisters, uncles, aunts, grandparents of Terra.
Brothers, sisters, uncles, aunts, grandparents of Ciara.

To all our relations, join us now in this circle that is the great web of life.

Mick, I don't generally get a 'sense' about these things, but am getting clear images that Terra is soaring on long-wing feathers,

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick SeeSpawUpdate-7/8
From: Fortunato
Date: 07 Jul 08 - 09:08 PM

Dear Mick,

I'm sorry to be late is seeing this thread. First I'm very, very sorry to hear of the accident and the sad news about your daughter's friend.

I cannot help being glad, however, that you're daughter will recover physically and mentally, at least in time.

I send you encouragement and good thoughts.

Use your good mind and strong heart to put unproductive thoughts behind you. Feel it completely and then let them go.

cheers,
chance

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick SeeSpawUpdate-7/8
From: katlaughing
Date: 07 Jul 08 - 08:41 PM

Jaze, I hope you don't mind and this isn't too painful of a reminder. I thought this old post of yours might be helpful for Mick and the families:

To quote the priest at my daughter's funeral, "It's a pain you 'll always carry. But know that you'll never have to carry it alone. There are many who will walk with you and remember with you".

Indeed, we are here, Mick.

luvyakat

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick SeeSpawUpdate-7/8
From: karen k
Date: 07 Jul 08 - 08:35 PM

Mick, I've been putting off posting because I just have no words. My heart aches or both your families. Mick, Ciara, Mary Lou and Terra's family, you are all in my heart and my thoughts. How I wish there was more that I could do.

You all have my love,
karen kobela

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick SeeSpawUpdate-7/
From: GUEST,Jaze
Date: 07 Jul 08 - 07:29 PM

Mick, I'm so sorry to hear of this awful news. Eight years ago my 15 yo daughter and 2 friends were killed in an awful wreck. The people here at Mudcat, whom I hardly knew, helped me more than they'll ever know. They're here for you now. My thoughts and prayers to you and the famiies involved.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick SeeSpawUpdate-7/
From: Sorcha
Date: 07 Jul 08 - 06:37 PM

Thank you Sins.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick SeeSpawUpdate-7/
From: Charley Noble
Date: 07 Jul 08 - 06:01 PM

Sinsull-

Thanks for the update.

Charley Noble

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick SeeSpawUpdate-7/8
From: gnu
Date: 07 Jul 08 - 05:58 PM

Sorcha...

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken - Mick
From: catspaw49 - PM
Date: 07 Jul 08 - 11:25 AM

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick SeeSpawUpdate-7/8
From: SINSULL
Date: 07 Jul 08 - 05:57 PM

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken - Mick
From: catspaw49 - PM
Date: 07 Jul 08 - 11:25 AM

I had a short conversation with Mick yesterday.......just checking in and trying to show support. He's a strong man with great spirit but to say he is low right now is understatement. He knows as we all do what a life altering thing this is and how hard it will be to move on.

He has contacted support people within the hospital for help in dealing with it all. The beauty of Mick is that he knows they need that help and is not "toughing it out alone" as many often do. I see Harpy's list and I'm sure he will. I also offered sister Connie who has done tons of work in grief counseling. Its still early on and very hard for him to do much except to work through moment to moment (my take anyway).

Ciara has a lacerated liver and lacerated spleen which the MD's feel will heal as well as a concussion and assorted bruising.

As I read this thread I once again wish we were a true geographical community to be together physically at times like these. I know many of you feel the same. I am also struck at how difficult it is for so many generally "wordy" people to find anything to say. I know I can't..................

Keep sending the best you have. I am sure all those thoughts and prayers have helped me in the past......maybe even the reason I'm still here. I know Mick and all the families involved will need whatever we can do.

Pat

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick SeeSpawUpdate-7/
From: Sorcha
Date: 07 Jul 08 - 05:44 PM

So, where is this Spaw Update? I'm not finding it.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick SeeSpawUpdate-7/8
From: Suffet
Date: 07 Jul 08 - 04:12 PM

Mick,

I can't think of anything to say that hasn't already been said, except that are a lot of us who love you. You need to be strong for your daughter, and we all know you will be. Let the rest of us try to be strong for you.

--- Steve

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick SeeSpawUpdate-7/
From: M.Ted
Date: 07 Jul 08 - 04:06 PM

I'm not sure if Mick or others are confortable with this...

MTed, I've removed the link to protect the privacy of the families, as it gave full names and townships. If anyone wants to know more, they can PM me. Thanks for your understanding.
kat a joe clone

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken - Mick
From: M.Ted
Date: 07 Jul 08 - 03:52 PM

I read this last night, and couldn't bring myself to post anything. Like Art, and others, I've cried a few times--but I haven't come any closer to finding anything meaningful to say.

I've spent a lot of time in Western Michigan, near where you are. I've driven a lot of those same roads, and have lost friends and loved ones there, in this same way. This brings it all back to me. We find ways to move on, and we do. The pain lessens over time, but we never forget the ones we've lost. After even more time, that memory becomes a blessing.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick SeeSpawUpdate-7/8
From: Roger in Baltimore
Date: 07 Jul 08 - 03:05 PM

Big Mick,

It must be hard to be the support for your daughter while you are in pain. Keep tied into your support systems, including the Mudcat, and if necessary develop some new support. May you find some peaceful time within this terrible disruption. I worry about my own grown sons and sincerely wish that they live long after I am gone. I can only know you are hurting and I wish you well.

Roger in Baltimore

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick SeeSpawUpdate-7/
From: mouldy
Date: 07 Jul 08 - 02:47 PM

So. so sorry, Mick, and also for catching this thread a little late.

This has been a most dreadful shock for you all, and I can really offer no more than my prayers. Your beautiful daughter is lucky to have you there for her, and I'm sure you will be able to help each other, long after the physical damage has healed.

(((hugs)))

Andrea

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick SeeSpawUpdate-7/
From: jacqui.c
Date: 07 Jul 08 - 02:31 PM

Thanks for the update Spaw - it is much appreciated.

Mick - I'm keeping all of you in my thoughts right now.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick SeeSpawUpdate-7/8
From: Rabbi-Sol
Date: 07 Jul 08 - 02:18 PM

Mick my Friend,

               I can truly empathize with what you must be going through at this moment. Having met both, you and your wonderful daughter, Ciara, personally 3 years ago at Jean Ritchie's singing party only makes the tragedy that more meaningful.

It was exactly 38 years ago that I went through a similar experience.
I was leading a tour of summer camp children to the Amish Country when our chartered coach skidded in a rainstorm, crashed through the guardrail, and went down a 50 foot embankment near Allentown, Pennsylvania. Seven innocent children lost their lives that day and another 40 were seriously injured. I was thrown through the windshield and spent 2 weeks in the hospital with a fractured pelvis and other assorted injuries.

The physical injuries have long since healed but the mental scars remain to this very day. I still get terrible nightmares and after all these years still see a phsychologist for counseling once a week.

My advice to you is to get the best possible therapist for Ciara. It should be an experienced Psychlogist with a proven track record in dealing with post traumatic syndrome. Your standard school or hospital therapist will not be up to this job. I speak from first hand experience.

SOL

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick SeeSpawUpdate-7/8
From: Little Hawk
Date: 07 Jul 08 - 01:59 PM

The toughest thing of all is to lose a child...whether it be your own child or another's child whom you know well. We all go sometime, but no one wants to see a life ended at so young an age. Hold on tight to what you still have, Mick, in the hearts of the loved ones who are around you and alive in your own heart. Something very valuable has been lost here, but not all has been lost. You have my thoughts and prayers across the distance.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick SeeSpawUpdate-7/
From: georgeward
Date: 07 Jul 08 - 01:53 PM

Mick,

Just saw this. I can't find words either. Just know I'm one more in a devoted group who will do whatever we can.

- George

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick SeeSpawUpdate-7/8
From: WFDU - Ron Olesko
Date: 07 Jul 08 - 01:45 PM

Mick, none of us can really put ourselves in your position and understand the emotions you are going through, but hopefully you can find some degree of comfort in the knowledge that so many of your friends at Mudcat are thinking of you and sending good thoughts and prayers to you and your family in this extremely difficult time. It is a situation that no one wants to be in, but from what I've gathered about you from your posts on Mudcat, you seem to be a strong individual that can keep perspective and get through this.   

You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick SeeSpawUpdate-7/8
From: Sue the Borderer
Date: 07 Jul 08 - 01:34 PM

((((((((((More virtual hugs - this time from Devon, England))))))))))

I hope that the loving support from the Mudcat Community helps cushion you all during what I imagine will be a very lengthy emotional roller-coaster ride.

And, katlaughing, thank you. It does indeed help to know Terra's name.

Sue

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick SeeSpawUpdate-7/8
From: Bobert
Date: 07 Jul 08 - 12:29 PM

(((more prayers and healing thoughts)))

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick SeeSpawUpdate-7/8
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 07 Jul 08 - 12:18 PM

I haven't posted before because I could think of nothing to say to my good friend Mick on this nightmare scenario. I am sure Mick would not mind my usage of the word friend for, even though we have never met, we have shared many things via this ol' cat box. All I can say now is that I am here, along with all his other friends, to offer any support and help, practical or otherwise, that I can.

All the good thoughts I can muster are heading in a westerly direction in the sincere hope that they may help, even if only in a tiny way, both families involved.

Dave.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick SeeSpawUpdate-7/8
From: katlaughing
Date: 07 Jul 08 - 11:59 AM

Thank you, Spawdarlin'.

For those who might want to know, Ciara's friend's first name was "Terra." I find it helps to have a name to think on when sending thoughts and prayers.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick SeeSpawUpdate-7/8
From: GUEST,leeneia
Date: 07 Jul 08 - 11:32 AM

Thank you, Spaw, for that beautiful post. What a good friend you are!

Mick, I will remember your family in my prayers.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken - Mick
From: catspaw49
Date: 07 Jul 08 - 11:25 AM

I had a short conversation with Mick yesterday.......just checking in and trying to show support. He's a strong man with great spirit but to say he is low right now is understatement. He knows as we all do what a life altering thing this is and how hard it will be to move on.

He has contacted support people within the hospital for help in dealing with it all. The beauty of Mick is that he knows they need that help and is not "toughing it out alone" as many often do. I see Harpy's list and I'm sure he will. I also offered sister Connie who has done tons of work in grief counseling. Its still early on and very hard for him to do much except to work through moment to moment (my take anyway).

Ciara has a lacerated liver and lacerated spleen which the MD's feel will heal as well as a concussion and assorted bruising.

As I read this thread I once again wish we were a true geographical community to be together physically at times like these. I know many of you feel the same. I am also struck at how difficult it is for so many generally "wordy" people to find anything to say. I know I can't..................

Keep sending the best you have. I am sure all those thoughts and prayers have helped me in the past......maybe even the reason I'm still here. I know Mick and all the families involved will need whatever we can do.

Pat

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken - Mick
From: GUEST,Black Hawk on works PC
Date: 07 Jul 08 - 10:35 AM

Mick
I only know you thru mudcat but I share your pain.
No-one should have to face this.
Life sucks sometimes.
My thoughts are with you & healing vibes to your daughter [[*]]

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken - Mick
From: scouse
Date: 07 Jul 08 - 10:11 AM

Love and good thoughts to you Mick and to your Family.
As Aye,
Phil

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken - Mick
From: Bryn Pugh
Date: 07 Jul 08 - 10:11 AM

Oh, Mick - love and condolences from us two.

May the Great Mother and the All Father comfort you and heal you.

You, and they, are in our prayers, pagan though these be.

So mote it be.

Erica and Bryn

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken - Mick
From: dwditty
Date: 07 Jul 08 - 10:10 AM

Mick,

Sending light and love and prayers to all of you. All of us feel your pain, especially those of us who have been through similar situations...but this one is yours. As much as you are hurting, both this girl's family and your own are very lucky to have you during this sad time.

dw

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken - Mick
From: GUEST,lox
Date: 07 Jul 08 - 09:55 AM

Trust yourself to work it out bro!

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken - Mick
From: kendall
Date: 07 Jul 08 - 08:47 AM

Get your dear child to a good therapist, and, for you, ask the Great Spirit for the strength to get you over this horrible tragedy.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken - Mick
From: MMario
Date: 07 Jul 08 - 08:39 AM

What words can I add to those that have been said? Only that my thoughts, prayers and love are with you and both families.

MMario

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken - Mick
From: Sandy Paton
Date: 07 Jul 08 - 01:36 AM

Mick, we are sending all our love. Take it, dear friend, and share it with those around you who need it most. We only wish we could do more.
    Sandy and Caroline

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken - Mick
From: JedMarum
Date: 06 Jul 08 - 11:08 PM

My prayers are with you, Ciara and your wife. It is such a tragic story, and sadly one that plays all too often in our world. Sometimes the random nature of our world changes our lives in an instant, sometimes with our help and sometimes without. I wish you the very best in helping your daughter come to terms with this tragedy.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken - Mick
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 06 Jul 08 - 11:06 PM

Mick, My sympathy to you and your families. Hope you all find some peace. Sue

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken - Mick
From: frogprince
Date: 06 Jul 08 - 10:51 PM

My wife Judy happened to come down to look over my shoulder just as I found this. Our thoughts and prayers will be with your family, and the family of your young friend.   
                                     Dean

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken - Mick
From: Celtaddict
Date: 06 Jul 08 - 10:36 PM

My dear friend Mick,
(Yes, I know we only met 'in person' one Getaway)
My heart is broken with yours. Story in PM.
I can only join the circle in wishing to surround you and yours with love and support in whatever way we can.
Janet

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken - Mick
From: Escapee
Date: 06 Jul 08 - 10:26 PM

Hang in there Mick. Prayers on the way.
Marty

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken - Mick
From: artbrooks
Date: 06 Jul 08 - 10:15 PM

Oh shit, Mick - I'm off line for a couple of days and come back to see this. I have no appropriate words

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken - Mick
From: harpgirl
Date: 06 Jul 08 - 09:34 PM

I am so sorry, Mick. The way I know to help is to offer this link if Ciara needs to talk with someone soon:

Excellent social workers in your area

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken - Mick
From: Ken Schatz
Date: 06 Jul 08 - 09:31 PM

Mick, I am so sorry to hear that. Hope you are able to find some moments of peace through it all.   Sending you and your family lots of love and good thoughts.

Ken

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken - Mick
From: TRUBRIT
Date: 06 Jul 08 - 09:08 PM

Mick -- I only know you a little but send you so much love and warmth -- it is truly a terrible thing that you are living through - much love and warmth to you.

TruBrit

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken - Mick
From: topical tom
Date: 06 Jul 08 - 07:24 PM

I don't know you, Mick,but i am so sorry for you.We lost a son at age 27 so I feel some of what you must be going through now.There is really nothing I can say except that my thoughts and prayers are with you.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken - Mick
From: GUEST,To Help Mend A Broken Heart
Date: 06 Jul 08 - 07:14 PM

I memorized this poem after my beautiful niece was murdered in the mid-1980s and the words offered solace to my grief and broken heart...

Author Unknown...

God's Lent Child

"I'll lend you for a little while
A child of mine," He said.
"For you to love the while he lives
And mourn when he is dead.
It may be six or seven years, or
Twenty two or three,
But will you 'til I call him back,
Take care of him for Me?

He'll bring his charms to gladden you,
And should his days be brief,
You'll have his lovely memories
As solace for your grief.
I cannot promise he will stay,
Since all from earth return,
But there are lessons taught down there
I want this child to learn.

I've looked this wide world over
In my search for teachers true,
And from the throngs that crowd life's lane,
I have selected you.
Now will you give all your love,
Nor think the labor vain,
Nor hate Me when I come to call
To take him back again?"

I fancy that I heard them say,
"Dear Lord, Thy will be done.
For all the joy this child shall bring,
The risk of grief we'll run;
We'll shelter him with tenderness,
We'll love him while we may,
And for the happiness we've known
Forever grateful stay.

But should the angels call for him,
Much sooner then we've planned,
We'll brave the bitter grief that comes
And try to understand."

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken - Mick
From: Sorcha
Date: 06 Jul 08 - 06:49 PM

Oh Mick......tears in Wyoming for all of you.....and hugs.
(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((All of you ))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken - Mick
From: van lingle
Date: 06 Jul 08 - 06:42 PM

Mick,

My thoughts are with you and your daughter and with both families. Hang in there.

Dave

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken - Mick
From: GUEST,Jon
Date: 06 Jul 08 - 06:38 PM

I'm sorry, Mick

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken - Mick
From: Pistachio
Date: 06 Jul 08 - 05:54 PM

((((((((((((((((((((((Joining the virtual hug.))))))))))))))))))))
Your pain is shared.
I offer my condolences, and thank you for sharing your tragic news so that we might remember and recognise that all life and all our lives are truly special.

((((((((((((((((((((((Hugs from East Yorkshire))))))))))))))))))))

Hazel.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken - Mick
From: Barry Finn
Date: 06 Jul 08 - 05:42 PM

I'm so sorry for your daughter & her loss & how she must be feeling. I hope she can get past this awful tragedy. As a parent my worst nighmare is one of my kids someday won't come home, I can't imagine how her friends folks feel, hopefully someday you & your daughter might be of some comfort to them. I know what kind of man & father you are & I know that if I were her I'd be needing that big shoulder you're so ready to give to those in need, she'll be needing it for a long time to come, take her under your wing. I have a close friend & a cousin that were in the same situation, you'll need to watch & listen to her closely, let her lead you to where she has to go & I wish you all the luck in the world.
Take good care & all my best

Barry

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken - Mick
From: bassen
Date: 06 Jul 08 - 05:36 PM

Gud være med deg og dine.

Praying for you all tonight. And giving my sons an extra hug.


John Svendsen

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken - Mick
From: ranger1
Date: 06 Jul 08 - 05:32 PM

Oh, Mick, my friend...I'm so sorry to hear this. Hugs to you and to Ciara ans Mary Lou.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken - Mick
From: Cool Beans
Date: 06 Jul 08 - 04:59 PM

I'm so sorry, Mick. You're right: they're all our kids. Some you can help, some you can't. Hug 'em all you can.
Marty

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken - Mick
From: Barbara
Date: 06 Jul 08 - 03:54 PM

Ah, Mick, I am holding you all in the light. Do what the many catters above said about counseling, because there is much anger and grief and pain in everyone involved, and that you all must learn to live with, accept and forgive, and somehow go on. Know that we love you all. Keep breathing.
Love,
Blessings,
Barbara

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken - Mick
From: Bat Goddess
Date: 06 Jul 08 - 03:44 PM

Dear Mick,

These two wordsmiths have no words...
but you know you and yours are held close in our hearts and thoughts.

Linn (Tom, too, of course)

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken - Mick
From: maire-aine
Date: 06 Jul 08 - 03:43 PM

Oh, Mick, I am so sorry to hear this. Please know that we all love your and your family, and all the positive energy we can generate is on its way to you. Several folks have already mentioned counselling--yes, absolutely, for all of you. And be gentle with yourself too. You are a sweet, kind soul and all the good things you've done will come back to you. Open yourself to receive that good will.

Love,
Maryanne

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken - Mick
From: Murray MacLeod
Date: 06 Jul 08 - 03:38 PM

So sorry to read about this tragic event, Mick.

Never having suffered such a deprivation, I can only imagine the torment that both families must be going through.

I hope and pray that time will heal the pain to some degree.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken - Mick
From: Ferrara
Date: 06 Jul 08 - 03:35 PM

Oh Mick, it is indeed heart breaking. I'm sending you a PM with some thoughts, and sending all of you my love.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken - Mick
From: GUEST
Date: 06 Jul 08 - 03:24 PM

*hugs* and deepest sympathies to all.

-- Gary

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken - Mick
From: GUEST,Jack the Sailor
Date: 06 Jul 08 - 02:32 PM

I just read this thread for the first time.

Such a horrific event. I can't think of any words of comfort.

I will pray for you and your family, and your daughter and your daughter's lost friend, and her friend's family.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken - Mick
From: Mark Ross
Date: 06 Jul 08 - 02:17 PM

Mick,

Just caught this, I am so sorry. Hope your daughter will be OK and you too.

Mark Ross

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken - Mick
From: My guru always said
Date: 06 Jul 08 - 02:13 PM

I'm so sorry to see that this has happened, life can be so very cruel. My thoughts are with you and all affected by this tragedy.
Hil

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken - Mick
From: GUEST,old girl
Date: 06 Jul 08 - 01:57 PM

You are in our Hearts and Prayers God be with you at this time.
Rose & dave

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken - Mick
From: GUEST,Frug
Date: 06 Jul 08 - 01:50 PM

Mick my sincerest condolences to all for such a great loss. I can feel your pain and grief and your are all in my thoughts.

Frank

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken - Mick
From: BB
Date: 06 Jul 08 - 01:10 PM

Mick, I feel for you so much, and I know nothing can take away your pain. I understand, too, your feelings for your daughter's friend - we have an 'adopted' daughter too who we care for as much as our own.

It may not help now, but perhaps in the future, a slightly adapted version of a song which has helped us through in the past:

        THE LEAF

As I was a-walking one morning at ease,
A-viewing the leaves as they fell from the trees,
All in full motion appearing to be:
Those that had withered, they fell from the tree.

        What's the life of a man any more than a leaf?
        A man has his seasons so why should he grieve?
        Although through this life we appear fine and gay,
        Like a leaf we must wither and soon fade away.

If you had seen the leaves just a few days ago,
How beautiful and bright they did all seem to grow;
A frost came upon them and withered them all;
A storm came along them and down they did fall.

When age or affliction upon us do call,
Like a leaf we must wither and down we must fall;
Some taken early, so soon to depart,
But as we remember, they live in our hearts.

You're very much in my thoughts.

Love,
Barbara

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken - Mick
From: Art Thieme
Date: 06 Jul 08 - 01:04 PM

Oh, Mick, I'm so sorry. At this very moment our son Chris, his wife, Kat and our 2 granddaughters and our very NEW grandson, 2 weeks old-- Byron Sky Thieme, are driving here from the Chicago area. I'm in tears reading of your anguish, and your daughters pain and the grief of all of you. If empathy is at all a part of our being at this stage of evolution, you have all the sincere feelings of sorrow and grief I am capable of. And love, too, to hold you all!

Art

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken - Mick
From: Geordie-Peorgie
Date: 06 Jul 08 - 12:58 PM

You came to the right place, Mick!

Everyone of us who reads this will wrap you, and yours, in our love and protection.

Worlds apart, but we're here for you buddy!

BFG

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken - Mick
From: kendall
Date: 06 Jul 08 - 12:50 PM

I'm not often at a loss for words, but this is one of those times my friend. So, all I can think of at the moment is a line from Hank Williams:..."for it's written that the greatest men never get to big to cry" (from Men with broken hearts).

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken - Mick
From: LilyFestre
Date: 06 Jul 08 - 12:33 PM

((((((((((((((Mick)))))))))))

Love & Prayers to your family.

Michelle

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken - Mick
From: GUEST,Guy WOlff On Lap top
Date: 06 Jul 08 - 12:23 PM

Mick I am so sorry to read the above . Nothing comes close to this kind of thing . Back to one breath at a time . Put some music into the air if you can . The air around you will need it . Tons of good wishes . Guy Wolff

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken - Mick
From: Dave Roberts
Date: 06 Jul 08 - 12:17 PM

Deepest sympathy.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken - Mick
From: Neil D
Date: 06 Jul 08 - 12:16 PM

One of the worst unavoidable facts of life is when horrible things happen to good people, and these sudden, shocking tragedies are the worst. The best that anyone can do in these circumstances is to try, somehow, to muster up the strength from within that will be so sorely needed by those around you. I echo what everyone else has posted here and only hope our mere words can in some small way help you to find that strength.
                                              Neil Devore

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken - Mick
From: GUEST,suzi
Date: 06 Jul 08 - 12:02 PM

So very sorry Mick... Love and blessings to you all. Suzi... x

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken - Mick
From: Bill D
Date: 06 Jul 08 - 11:55 AM

.........I can only be one more voice added to all those above. No amount of condolences can change what happens, but perhaps knowing how many people care and are thinking of you and the families will buoy you through it a bit.

Take care of your daughter....and when you can bear it, go play that low whistle in a quiet place.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken - Mick
From: RoyH (Burl)
Date: 06 Jul 08 - 11:46 AM

Heartfelt thoughts and prayers for both families from the Harris family.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken - Mick
From: Dan Schatz
Date: 06 Jul 08 - 11:45 AM

There are no words that any of us can say, or advice that any of us can give, adequate for the situation. With all you were already going through, this new horror must be almost impossible to bear. I am incredibly thankful that it happened at a time when you were home and available to be with Ciara and give her the love and support she needs, while getting the love and support you need.

Rapaire is right - this is a time when counseling is absolutely called for, for everyone concerned. And others are right, too - we, your friends, are thinking about you and sending you our care. We are not grieving like you are grieving, but nevertheless we do grieve with you.

Call me anytime, friend. You know that you can.

Warmly,
Dan

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken - Mick
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Jul 08 - 11:07 AM

Mick, get counseling. For you and your daughter. Do it as soon as you can. It's gonna be more PTSD, and you know what that can do.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken - Mick
From: Ron Davies
Date: 06 Jul 08 - 11:00 AM

Words can't convey. So sorry to hear this.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken - Mick
From: GEST
Date: 06 Jul 08 - 10:54 AM

Mick ~

I grieve with you. Twenty-one years ago my 21-year-old son was a passenger in a vehicle driven by his uncle. The car failed a curve and went over a cliff along California's coast highway. They say he lived all night, but was so badly injured that he had no way of living or knowing that his uncle had already died in the plunge. I still feel the agony of that phone call.

Four years ago, my granddaughter was thrown from a pickup truck in which her boy friend was killed. She suffered major head trauma and will never be the same. Today she sits in a federal penitentiary for parole violations she may never comprehend.

Your post has brought these tragic memories vividly back to me. Be strong for your daughter. Make sure she gets sound post-traumatic stress counseling. She will need your love and counseling more than you or anyone else will ever know. Make sure she knows you will do all that it takes to help her into the future. Do not let her fall prey to misguided concepts from her peers. Let her know you are her friend and best ally.

May you and your daughter both find peace through love and kindness.

GEST

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken - Mick
From: Keith A of Hertford
Date: 06 Jul 08 - 10:53 AM

Thoughts and prayers Mick.
I have a daughter and can imgine how it must be.
The next few days will be the worst, and I will be thinking of you and yours.
Be strong for them,
keith.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken - Mick
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 06 Jul 08 - 10:51 AM

I've never met any of the people involved in this tragedy, but I'm crying, too.

adding my love & condolences to those expressed by the Mudcat community, to your Mick & both your families

sandra

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken - Mick
From: skarpi
Date: 06 Jul 08 - 10:29 AM

well what can I say , big hugs and love to Ciara and you both , tell her that, her Icelandic friend is thinkin of her .

Mick , one year ago my doughter went through difficult time when she
lost her boyfriend in a car accitent, and was goin to take her own live
but we manage to hold on to her and help her through it.

I gave her everthing I have from my heart so I know what you goin
through.

what you said about the children is true , tell them that you love them and give them a hug whenever you have a change , you may have them today and
not tomorrow as we say here in Iceland .

So again Mick be strong this is goin to take time .
Lots of love and hugs to all of you , and I am sorry to hear about the other girl , may god be with you all .

All the best Skarpi Iceland .

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken - Mick
From: Janie
Date: 06 Jul 08 - 10:17 AM

Mick,

May each of you know you are surrounded by light, love and mercy in the midst of such shocking loss and grief.

Like all the others have said, I'm holding all of you close in my heart.

Janie

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken - Mick
From: Severn
Date: 06 Jul 08 - 09:51 AM

As someone who has lost a stepdaughter and an "adopted family member", who we actually took in for a while, at various times, while I can say I'll never be able to fully understand the effects of your grief and that of your family and that of the girl who died, I have felt high-magnitude grief and have seen its effects on myself those around me.

Be strong, finding strength within yourselves and reach out and find it from what other human and spiritual sources are available as needed. Keep a knowledge of what the others are going through in order to get through it on a family as well as an individual level. My thoughts are with you as well.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken - Mick
From: lady penelope
Date: 06 Jul 08 - 09:33 AM

Mick - it makes my heart sore to hear this news. We'll be thinking of you and yours. Peace be with you.

Penny.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken - Mick
From: GUEST,Peace
Date: 06 Jul 08 - 09:29 AM

Mick,

I wish . . . .

Bruce

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken - Mick
From: George Papavgeris
Date: 06 Jul 08 - 09:16 AM

Lots of love to you both, big fella, and to the other girl's family too. It's tough, really tough, what you're going through and I am sure I cannot even fully comprehend it. But I am thinking of you.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken - Mick
From: Jean(eanjay)
Date: 06 Jul 08 - 09:04 AM

I am so sorry to hear this.

Thoughts and prayers sent from North Yorkshire.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken - Mick
From: bankley
Date: 06 Jul 08 - 09:00 AM

I don't really know you, we've never met.... but I've heard from a reliable source that you're a good man.... please accept my condolences.... life is so precious...

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken - Mick
From: nutty
Date: 06 Jul 08 - 08:29 AM

The unfairness of life is always difficult to fathom.

Torn between wanting to give thanks for a daughters survival while mourning anothers loss must be one of the hardest things to bear.

My thoughts are with you.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken - Mick
From: Waddon Pete
Date: 06 Jul 08 - 07:55 AM

Mick, just to let you know that I, too, am thinking of you all at this sad and difficult time. A wave of love from Suffolk, England.

Peter

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken - Mick
From: Anne Lister
Date: 06 Jul 08 - 07:40 AM

Mick, how awful for you and for those around you. Here's another virtual hug and thoughts for you all. Words can't help - this isn't a rational time - but I hope you can all draw some strength and comfort from the love sent by friends.

Anne

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken - Mick
From: GUEST,beachcomber
Date: 06 Jul 08 - 07:38 AM

What a terrible shock for all concerned. I sincerely hope that the family of that youngster may be able to take some modicum of comfort also from this thread which will, I am certain, continue to grow.
I've been on to Mudcat (and off) for a few years without ever feeling part of it's "inner core" but the strange thing is that I almost feel that I am acquainted with you Mick, having read your many, knowledgable posts on so many topics over that time.
Best wishes mate.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken - Mick
From: RangerSteve
Date: 06 Jul 08 - 06:43 AM

I've never been very good at conveying my thoughts in situations like this, but my thoughts are with you.

Steve

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken - Mick
From: Brakn
Date: 06 Jul 08 - 06:41 AM

Mick, my condolences.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken - Mick
From: Morticia
Date: 06 Jul 08 - 06:29 AM

Hugs to you, to Ciara and to the poor girls family. I wish there were something wise or comforting I could say to you right now, but know that we love you and are thinking of you. As you have said to me and to others looking for comfort over the years, listen for her voice, she will be there in the hearts and minds of others.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken - Mick
From: Cats
Date: 06 Jul 08 - 06:24 AM

Mick, This is just so terrible for all concerned. Huge hugs to you, all your family and the fmily of the young girl. We'll light a candle to help guide the girl over the rainbow bridge to the Summerlands.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken - Mick
From: SussexCarole
Date: 06 Jul 08 - 06:20 AM

Mick   We're both so sorry to hear this tragic news. Our thoughts and love are with you and everyone else involved.

Andrew & Carole xxxx

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken - Mick
From: Eye Lander
Date: 06 Jul 08 - 05:56 AM

We cannot begin to imagine what you, your family, and your daughter's friends family are going though. But our thoughts are with you.

Jillie and Andy (Miskin Man)

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken - Mick
From: fat B****rd
Date: 06 Jul 08 - 05:56 AM

I'm so sorry to read this, Mick. I'm thinking of you and yours. Best regards from Charlie.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken - Mick
From: Susanne (skw)
Date: 06 Jul 08 - 05:53 AM

Mick - can't think of anything that hasn't been said before. Just wanted to let you know I'm thinking of you and your daughter, her friend who is at peace, and her family in their grief.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken - Mick
From: semi-submersible
Date: 06 Jul 08 - 05:16 AM

Caring thoughts from British Columbia to Ciara and all of you in both families. Language can't express much, can it?

What to offer Ciara as she adjusts to this changed world? My mom told me once, "You do have the strength. You're descended from survivors." It stuck with me, and helped.

Might-have-beens, not the actual loss, hurt the worst. Good, life-giving memories break the if-only... cycle.

Young leaves wind-torn, old leaves care-worn
Tumbling, crumbling into memory, form
Soil to feed next season's growth again

We can only guess how much of our road we will share with a fellow traveller. Thank you, Mick, for sharing both gifts with us: grieving and warning.
-Maureen-

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken - Mick
From: Megan L
Date: 06 Jul 08 - 05:07 AM

Keeping her and both families in our thoughts and prayers

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken - Mick
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 06 Jul 08 - 05:06 AM

Mick I know what a lovely warm person you are, and how you share it with those around you, so let me return some of that love and affection. I was sorry I am to hear of this accident, and what a scare it must have given you and Mary Lou. Give Ciara a hug from me when she isn't too sore to be hugged. She will heal physically, but mentally it will stay with her for a long time, so keep taking care of her even after the bruises go away.

John 'G'

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken - Mick
From: alanabit
Date: 06 Jul 08 - 03:21 AM

I'll be thinking of you Mick and the other bereaved family. The girl you all lost is beyond pain now and I am sure she will wish for you all to be comforted. I'll be valuing those around me just that little bit more today.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken - Mick
From: Bert
Date: 06 Jul 08 - 03:11 AM

Love and prayers, our thoughts are with you.

I know how you must have loved that friend as your own. Hug Ciara for all of us here.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken - Mick
From: maeve
Date: 06 Jul 08 - 02:29 AM

Ciara's Friend

Lord of the heavens and of Earth
Let the lovelight of this youngling,
This dear child, friend, joy-bringer,
Shine
Lighting the dark around us
Like stars, fireflies,
Shimmering Northern Lights.

May the thought of her in years to come
Bring comfort more than grief
To those who remain behind, let it bring
Light;
That the darkest hours be brightened
Lightened, gentled, turned from sorrow
Into wonder of wonders, joy

That she was here and alive,
A song once begun, sung now in a different
Lovely mode, by a multitude of voices;
Celebrated
In a hundred harmonies of hallelujah
That those who love her here can tell
Of her bright life, shining still in their hearts.

maeve

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken - Mick
From: Skivee
Date: 06 Jul 08 - 02:15 AM

I'm so sorry to hear the terrible news.
I can only wish that your daughter recovers quickly. How very sad for her friend's family.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken - Mick
From: Marion
Date: 06 Jul 08 - 01:48 AM

What a terrible thing to happen. Love and sympathy to you and your family.

Marion

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken - Mick
From: oggie
Date: 06 Jul 08 - 01:34 AM

Mick

My thoughts and prayers are with you and yours

Steve

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken - Mick
From: GUEST,Gerry
Date: 06 Jul 08 - 01:31 AM

Mick, my condolences. I wish you and yours strength in the coming days.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken - Mick
From: Donuel
Date: 06 Jul 08 - 12:58 AM

God Mick All I feel right now is deep sympathy for the children and all the parents.   IF there is something we all can do together to make this memory a more merciful and caring moment for everyone involved, please be bold enough to let it happen. It may be the customary rituals of bereavment or a door that suddenly opens to a more meaningful world. All that is certain is that this will one day be a powerful memory.

Please allow everyone who feels the need to help or grieve to do so in the ways they know best.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken - Mick
From: katlaughing
Date: 06 Jul 08 - 12:28 AM

Mick, it's Buddhist and if you follow the link and read what it says, it might not seem just the right mantra to help, but this Medicine Buddha Mantra on youtube has been very helpful for a number of folks. Maybe not today, or tomorrow, but at some point, perhaps it will help to quiet broken hearts and bring some peace.

Next time Morgan and I chant it together we will keep you in our hearts and thoughts.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken - Mick
From: Genie
Date: 06 Jul 08 - 12:15 AM

Oh, how I wish I had words to help ease your pain and the grief of Ciara and of her friend's family, Mick.   Obviously, I don't, but please let me add my care, love and prayers to those that have been extended above.   My heart goes out to all of you, and God be with you all.

{{{{{{{{{{{{Mick, Ciara, and her friend's family}}}}}}}}}}

Genie

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken - Mick
From: Nancy King
Date: 06 Jul 08 - 12:02 AM

Mick, what a terrible thing to happen to your family and your friends. Just know that all of you are in our thoughts.

Nancy

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken - Mick
From: GUEST,Texas Guest
Date: 05 Jul 08 - 11:35 PM

Big Mick - prayers, kind thoughts and hugs go out to you and yours. May you all weather this storm with peace, resolution and understanding. May God be with you.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken - Mick
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Jul 08 - 11:31 PM

Jaysus, Mick.

This is beyond awful, beyond tragic. I don't know what to say other than the usual platitudes.

But if I can do anything, don't hesitate to ask. You know that.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken - Mick
From: GUEST,heric
Date: 05 Jul 08 - 11:16 PM

I don't know if this speaks to you in your circumstances, but I learned this "Sailor's Prayer" of Rod MacDonald on mudcat, and printed out this excerpt to hang on my wall when circumstances warranted it:

Though my sails be torn and tattered and my mast be turned about
Let the night wind chill me to my very soul
Though the spray might sting my eyes and the stars no light provide
Give me just another morning light to hold

For I will not lie me down, this rain a raging
I will not lie me down in such a storm
And if this night be unblessed I shall not take my rest
Until I reach another shore


-----------------

You will take your daughter there. There is no doubt. It's just that you have to do it.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken - Mick
From: ClaireBear
Date: 05 Jul 08 - 11:00 PM

I am so sorry for your grief and loss. Hugs from California, and I will be praying for you and yours.

Claire

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken - Mick
From: Beer
Date: 05 Jul 08 - 10:44 PM

This is a tough one Mick. Real rough and so little to say. Peace (Bruce)may miss this thread as he is incognito (on the road recording and getting ready for a festival)most of the time but I will relay your grief to him as I'm sure he would want to know. You have a tough ride ahead and your daughter and love ones will need you. If I could give you some strength I would.
Love ya.
Adrien

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken - Mick
From: Amos
Date: 05 Jul 08 - 10:35 PM

Forgive Clara, and forgive yourself, and the child who did not make it out of the wreck. Hugs to you, man. And more.


A

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken - Mick
From: KathWestra
Date: 05 Jul 08 - 10:34 PM

Dear Mick, I'm so very sorry. Sending much love and light to you, Mary Lou, and Ciara. Check your PMs. Love, Kath

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken - Mick
From: Maryrrf
Date: 05 Jul 08 - 10:13 PM

Oh Mick I am so sorry to hear this. It must be horrible for everyone. My son had a good friend who was killed in an automobile accident. My son almost rode home with that group from a party but just by the grace of god, he didn't. My heart goes out to everyone who was involved in the incident.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken - Mick
From: GUEST,Colin Randall
Date: 05 Jul 08 - 10:07 PM

Mick

Your appalling tragedy immediately made me think guiltily of my own loved ones, from whom I am separated by thousands of miles, and of two recent life-threatening incidents on the road on the same day but which - in the random way of these things - ended with no more than relief and shaking heads.

I offer a stranger's sympathy and solidarity, and the hope that all of you can somehow triumph over the grief, physical and emotional scars and feelings of helplessness.

Bon courage.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken - Mick
From: Ebbie
Date: 05 Jul 08 - 09:50 PM

I am so sorry. One of those things no one knows how to cope with but has to anyway. I would add to what Open Mike said: Tell and show everyone what you feel, acknowledge that they feel the same, give extra helpings of love to your daughter...

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken - Mick
From: AllisonA(Animaterra)
Date: 05 Jul 08 - 09:36 PM

Oh, dearest Mick, you and your daughter and all involved are in my heart and prayers tonight. There are no words.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken - Mick
From: GUEST,Wesley S
Date: 05 Jul 08 - 09:17 PM

So sorry for your loss. My heart goes out to you and all the families involved. Take care.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken - Mick
From: open mike
Date: 05 Jul 08 - 09:14 PM

how gracious and generous of you to think of others at a time like this
and share advice about letting the ones you love know it.
your advice is well taken...thanks for the reminder.

Shower the people you love with love
tell them the way that you feel....

---James Taylor

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken - Mick
From: Bee
Date: 05 Jul 08 - 08:46 PM

Mick, how terrible! I am so sorry, and will be thinking of you and your daughter and both families.

This has been a huge fear for me recently, while my much loved niece went through her graduation events, so it is close to my heart how dreadful you all are feeling.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken - Mick
From: curmudgeon
Date: 05 Jul 08 - 08:38 PM

The words just won't come together yet, but our thoughts are with all of you - Tom and Linn

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken - Mick
From: Dave Swan
Date: 05 Jul 08 - 08:28 PM

Damn. My love to everyone involved. Check your PMs.

D

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken - Mick
From: GUEST,DonMeixner
Date: 05 Jul 08 - 08:17 PM

There are no words I can add Mick. I have enough room in my heart for your family as well.

Don

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken - Mick
From: SharonA
Date: 05 Jul 08 - 08:01 PM

Mick, I'm terribly sorry to hear this tragic news. My heart goes out to you and your family and to this poor girl's family. My thoughts are with you all.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken - Mick
From: skipy
Date: 05 Jul 08 - 07:58 PM

All of the above Mick, give her a hug from me, & lean on "us lot" as much as you need to.
Skipy

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken - Mick
From: Mrs.Duck
Date: 05 Jul 08 - 07:57 PM

We are with you in spirit , Mick. This is going to be a hard time not only for the girl's family but especially for Ciara. Our hearts go out to you all.
Jane and Geoff

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken - Mick
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 05 Jul 08 - 07:55 PM

It's little comfort in a time like this, but you know there are people all round the world who'll be thinking of you and Ciara. Thank you for letting us know about this, Mick.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken - Mick
From: Bobert
Date: 05 Jul 08 - 07:52 PM

My heart goes out to you, your family, your daughter, her friend and her friend's family...

There are days when I think that God, at the end of the day, wishes He had a God to pray to and to promise to do better tomorrow...

My deepest regrets for this loss and prayers for God to grace you, your family and your duaghter's friend's family with His love, comfort and peace...

Bobert

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken - Mick
From: jacqui.c
Date: 05 Jul 08 - 07:49 PM

Oh Mick, words aren't enough. I agree with Spaw.

You have our phone number. If we can do anything or even if you just need to talk we are here.

Please give Ciara a hug from me and let her know that she is in our thoughts here in Maine.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken - Mick
From: Alice
Date: 05 Jul 08 - 07:49 PM

OH, god, Mick, I'm so sad to read this.
Take care of yourself.
Alice

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken - Mick
From: SINSULL
Date: 05 Jul 08 - 07:44 PM

Mick,
Thre are no words. I will keep your wonderful family in my prayers.
Mary

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken - Mick
From: katlaughing
Date: 05 Jul 08 - 07:41 PM

Oh Mickdarlin'...I can hardly see for the tears. So, so sorry this happened. Please know there is a lot of love coming your way from all of us, esp. to Ciara and her friend's family. May we please have her friend's first name to include a more personal prayer?

The job of being a parent is full of joy and sorrow. Sometimes one seems to outweigh the other. May you and your family, as well as that of Ciara's friend, find some small comfort in sharing the grief and in knowing there are many, many of us who love you and send our best thoughts.

Much love,

Kat & Rog, Rue & Morgan

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken - Mick
From: Mrrzy
Date: 05 Jul 08 - 07:35 PM

How horrible, Mick! Please lean on us as much as you can! Love,
-Mrr

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken - Mick
From: catspaw49
Date: 05 Jul 08 - 07:31 PM

You know my best thoughts are all yours and to all of your friends so deeply affected by this tragedy. Ciara has strong genes and a strong family but let her know how much we all here who have watched her grow are sending our best to her as well.

Tough times dear friend and words are never enough, just all that we have.........One of those many times here that I wish the'Cat were also geographical so we could all be together in times like these. You know that we are all with you in the ways we can be.......You, me, all of us I am sure wish we could hop in our cars, drive across town, and be together.

I am so sorry Mick............Much Love

Pat

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken - Mick
From: Azizi
Date: 05 Jul 08 - 07:30 PM

This is just absolutely awful.

Mick, you're right that we have to let those we love know it because we never know when it might be the last time we see them in this life.

Count me among those here who are sending lots of positive vibrations to the girl's family, and your daughter Ciara, and to you also.


Your daughter may want to look into groups in your area that can help her work through her grief at the loss of her very good friend. Those groups can also help her with the feelings of guilt that she may be feeling even though she shouldn't be guilty. I hope that she connects with these groups or connects with a counselor for the same reasons if she feels that she needs one.

As to how you face the girl's family, you face them being real.

Maybe you all need to cry together and talk about how much life really sucks and how you feel that you have also lost a member of your family. I trust your instincts. Just be yourself.

And please give your daughter a BIG hug from us.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken - Mick
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 05 Jul 08 - 07:26 PM

I am so sorry, Mick.

Every time my kids leave it's with an "I love you," a hug, and a kiss, and a silent wish that they return again, healthy and happy. It's all we can do.

Maggie

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken - Mick
From: Charley Noble
Date: 05 Jul 08 - 07:26 PM

Mick-

I can not begin to imagine your pain but I wish you and your family well, and the other grieving family.

Charley Noble

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken - Mick
From: DebC
Date: 05 Jul 08 - 07:21 PM

Oh Mick! I am so sorry for your loss. Please know that you, your family and the other girl's family are in my thoughts.

Deb Cowan

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken - Mick
From: gnu
Date: 05 Jul 08 - 07:19 PM

Oh my. I have no words. Only tears, thoughts and prayers.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken - Mick
From: Jeri
Date: 05 Jul 08 - 07:15 PM

I don't have any words, but you have my sympathy and hugs.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken - Mick
From: GUEST,heric
Date: 05 Jul 08 - 07:12 PM

How to face such a test - I surely don't know. I know you can do it, though. You have to push through it. There are no options.

You will do this and I wish you strength in the interim.

Dan

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken - Mick
From: GUEST,Learaí na Láibe
Date: 05 Jul 08 - 07:10 PM

What a terrible tragedy.

What we hear about and read about and hope it doesn't happen to us........

Nothing I can say to help but I can feel a little of your pain through cyberspace.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken - Mick
From: Linda Kelly
Date: 05 Jul 08 - 07:09 PM

There is a lot of love on this planet and its coming right at you-be strong.We are all thinking of you. Linda x

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken - Mick
From: Leadfingers
Date: 05 Jul 08 - 07:01 PM

Same from me Mick !! Not enough Words !!

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken - Mick
From: Jeanie
Date: 05 Jul 08 - 06:57 PM

Mick: Love and prayers coming over to you all right now from Essex, England.

- jeanie

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken - Mick
From: Bonnie Shaljean
Date: 05 Jul 08 - 06:57 PM

Oh my God, Mick, there's nothing I can say except that thoughts, prayers, wishes, beams of love and strength are flying your way from here, and from every other point on the compass I am sure. Thinking of you all and grieving for this terrible loss -

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken - Mick
From: open mike
Date: 05 Jul 08 - 06:55 PM

((((((mick))))))
holding you and your family and the girl's family in my heart...

Subject: Obit: My heart is broken - Mick
From: Big Mick
Date: 05 Jul 08 - 06:52 PM

The most precious thing on this earth is our children. My daughter and one of her closest friends were on the way to my brother's today and were involved in an auto accident. The other little girl, whom I loved, did not make it. My daughter, who was driving, is going to be OK. She has a lacerated spleen, and is very sore, but will recover physically. We will have much work to do with her to help her through this, but her big heart is going to be hurt. All prayers, thoughts, whatever you do at this time, will be gratefully accepted.

I am beyond grief for this girls family. I have always told these kids that they are all my kids. That has been made real by this loss beyond what I can describe. I am not sure how I will come out of this. I ache for this wonderful girl's family, and I cannot stop my tears for them. I don't know how I will face them, but I must. We must. We must honor her life, and what a special friend she was to my Ciara.

Hold your children. Tell them today, right this damn minute, how very precious they are to you. Live and love with them like they might be gone tomorrow.

I am sorry for the ramble, but my world is upside down. I just thought my friends here ...... hell, I don't know what I thought. I can deal with problems that I can grab hold of and wrestle to the ground. I have no idea what to do with this.

Just give us some thoughts and prayers ...... please.

Mick