Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-Apr 29, 2011

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-7/8@9:33
From: Genie
Date: 09 Jul 08 - 04:50 PM

online obit w/link to the Guest Book

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-7/8@9:33am**
From: quokka
Date: 09 Jul 08 - 07:28 PM

Deep sympathy to you and your family, Mick, as I read the thread I can't stop the tears from flowing. Hope you're finding some comfort here from your many friends
Quokka

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-7/8@9:33am**
From: GUEST,WYS at Ed's
Date: 09 Jul 08 - 07:47 PM

Been away-- God be good to you all, Mick, as He always is.

~S~

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-7/8@9:33am**
From: Ferrara
Date: 09 Jul 08 - 09:18 PM

Mick, just want to say again, that you, Ciara, MaryLou, Terra and her family are in my thoughts all day long and I am sending the best thoughts and prayers I know how. Will be thinking of you all especially tomorrow and sending light and healing as best I can.

Love,
Rita

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-7/8@9:33am**
From: GUEST,Dani
Date: 10 Jul 08 - 08:13 AM

Thinking of you all this morning....

Dani

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-7/8@9:33
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Jul 08 - 09:06 AM

May you and yours stay strong today, Mick.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-7/8@9:33
From: GUEST,Ghirotondo
Date: 10 Jul 08 - 09:20 AM

I don't know what to say of a tragedy like this.
I offer you my silence.
Lanfranco from Italy.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-7/8@9:33am**
From: Tinker
Date: 10 Jul 08 - 12:04 PM

Hey love, I've been off line for awhile and a bit disconnected. But then I began to read.
I've been trying ever so hard to process this since yesterday. I went our to the garden and picked up a few more rocks and set them in a fountain of copper just letting the waters flow and flow and flow. Healing, soothing, traveling.... Oh course I'm crying... but you knew that. Just make sure you leave a few chinks in your own amor to let all of the strength flowing your way support and cherish you and yours.

Blessings

tink

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-7/8@9:33am**
From: Willie-O
Date: 10 Jul 08 - 02:28 PM

I'm thinking constantly of the families affected by tragedy on this most difficult day. Hope you are having a helpful grieving, and especially that Ciara is able to participate in some way to help her get through it.

love
Bill

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-7/8@9:33
From: Janie
Date: 10 Jul 08 - 07:36 PM

Mick, know that even when this thread drops of the page for awhile, many of us will continue to hold all of you, especially Ciara, in our thoughts and prayers.

Janie

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-7/8@9:33am**
From: Charmion
Date: 10 Jul 08 - 08:27 PM

Another late voice in the chorus --

I'm so sorry for this terrible trouble, and pray for both your families.

Ch

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-7/8@9:33am**
From: GUEST,Dani
Date: 10 Jul 08 - 08:33 PM

Who knew I even REMEMBERED what a rosary was?!

But I said one for all of you on the long drive into work late this morning. I have no idea why. They Hail Mary wasn't my favorite prayer even in my Catholic days, but it came right to my lips for some reason.

So, a rosary for both your families.

Dani

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-7/8@9:33am**
From: katlaughing
Date: 10 Jul 08 - 11:46 PM

Giving thanks for the Light of Peace and Understanding, as well as Healing which surrounds and blesses all of you. You are in my thoughts constantly and my heart always.

Rue sends her condolences and best, too, Mick.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-7/8@9:33am**
From: KathWestra
Date: 11 Jul 08 - 06:49 PM

This must feel like the longest week of your lives. Know that you, Mary Lou, Ciara, and Terra's family have been held close all the while, in my heart and so many others. Love to you all. Kath

This Blessing is from the late Irish poet, John O'Donohue, whose book, "To Bless the Space Between Us," was published after his own untimely death in January. This poem, written for another who was grieving great loss, is taken from that book.

Beannacht
For Josie
(c) John O'Donohue from "To Bless the Space Between Us," Doubleday 2008

On the day when
The weight deadens
On your shoulders
And you stumble,
May the clay dance
To balance you.

And when your eyes
Freeze behind
The gray window
And the ghost of loss
Gets into you,
May a flock of colors,
Indigo, red, green
And azure blue,
Come to awaken in you
A meadow of delight.

When the canvas frays
In the curragh of thought
And a stain of ocean
Blackens beneath you,
May there come across the waters
A path of yellow moonlight
To bring you safely home.

May the nourishment of the earth be yours,
May the clarity of light be yours,
May the fluency of the ocean be yours,
May the protection of the ancestors be yours.

And so may a slow
Wind work these words
Of love around you,
An invisible cloak
To mind your life.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-7/8@9:33am**
From: Big Mick
Date: 11 Jul 08 - 09:13 PM

I have tried to start this a half dozen times today, but I just can't find the words to adequately express all I am feeling. Here goes number 7.

First, an update on Ciara's condition. She is out of the hospital after spending 3 days in the intensive care unit of Helen DeVos Childrens Hospital. As her hemoglobin levels stabilized, they then moved her into the general ward, in a private room, and went to twice daily checks as opposed to the more intensive stuff for two more days. As Spaw told you (love you, buddy, and thanks!!), she has a lacerated spleen, a lacerated liver, a pneumothorax, a concussion, and massive bruising in the chest and lap area, as well as some whiplash. She responded well to treatment. I think they really wanted to keep her a bit longer, but she was insistent on being released in time for the visitation/funeral on Wednesday and Thursday. But she is under very close watch for the next three weeks.

Physically she is recovering just fine. We are well aware that the care and counseling she needs is beyond our pay grade. I can tell you all that I am well aware of the little monster that still runs around my mind from time to time known as PTSD. We are blessed that we have found a wonderful therapist who works with teens and is very effective. Her edge is that she herself went through this same event as a young woman. We are headed for vacation at the Jersey shore in a week, and when we get back we will start the process.

The family of Terra is a rare jewel to be cherished. Almost from the first minute they expressed love and caring about my little girl. After a very trying day of visitation, they stayed and made time for Ciara and our family to come privately to meet with them. It went as you would expect, and they expressed love and support for Ciara. Very difficult, but very necessary. And this family made it therapeutic for Ciara. All the way down to the cousins, they embraced her and reassured her that no one blames her and that it was purely and simply an accident. Ciara, brave kid that she is, asked if she could speak at the funeral, the family said yes, and she did. She kept it simple, heartfelt, and did very well, only breaking down at the end. I was proud of her.

As to her Mother and I, we are well aware that now our families are tied together forever, and that our daughter now has to be shared. We are very grateful to the community we live in. This could be going much worse, it may yet. But we have a tremendous support group.

Mudcat, once again, has been a source of growth for me. Your outpouring of support, prayers, good thoughts, advice, PM's ..... most of you have no way of understanding how very important they are. Spaw gets it, so does Kendall. Those who have lost someone get it as well. Your love and concern, even from those I have not treated the best, have stunned me and raised the humility factor geometrically. I am reminded that behind the "handles" and online personnas, there is a caring community of real people that care about others enough to say so, and take what steps they can to share that. Events like this serve to remind us that we need to be more childlike in our caring for others. We need to drop these ridiculous barriers we construct to honest emotion, and genuine caring for others. We need to remember that someone's opinion in an online forum are not the stuff which feuds should be based on. What is important are the lives we touch, and the residue we leave in them. What you have left with me is honest caring, and a sense of a caring community.......


......and I am in your debt.

All the best,

Mick

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-7/8@9:33am**
From: Beer
Date: 11 Jul 08 - 09:52 PM

Mick,
I recall a short note that was left in a card when my brother got killed falling off a roof years back. I never forgot them and I have to say that they are true. I don't have a clue who penned them.


"There is an unconscious healing process within the mind which mends up in spite of our desperate determination never to forget".

Adrien

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-7/8@9:33
From: Janie
Date: 11 Jul 08 - 11:15 PM

Kathy,

Thanks so much for sharing that lovely and poignant blessing.

and Mick,

Thanks for taking the time to let us know how everyone is faring, especially Ciara. May the openess of the broken hearts among your family and Terra's be a path of healing for all of you.

Janie

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-7/11@913pm
From: katlaughing
Date: 11 Jul 08 - 11:21 PM

It's a sure thing this thread does not suffer from lack of tears...I know we haven't come near to shedding as many as you and your families have done, Mick, but I thank you for taking the time to come back to us when you are able and continue the connection which brings us all together and lets the tears flow freely. May the sharing of grief lessen its pain. (I think it was you advised us all one time of that one.)

I am not surprised to hear Ciara was able to speak at the funeral...she is definitely her dad's daughter...and Mary Lou's, too. Another big heart. Blessed Be to you all.

luvyakat

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-7/11@913pm
From: Sandy Mc Lean
Date: 11 Jul 08 - 11:37 PM

Mick, I have been away on vacation for a week and just got back on line. My deepest sympathy to you, your daughter, and to her friends family! Having lost a brother in an auto crash years ago I understand the tragic devistation that it can cause.
                     Sandy

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-7/11@913pm
From: GUEST,jOhn
Date: 12 Jul 08 - 01:20 AM

Take care Mick.


John

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-7/11@913
From: chazkratz
Date: 12 Jul 08 - 03:05 AM

Mick, I just checked in for the first time in at least a month and the first thing I saw was the awful news. My love and condolences and best wishes to you and your family, and may all of your beautiful memories of the Earth child Terra manage in time to temper the grief.


Charles

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-7/11@913pm
From: Megan L
Date: 12 Jul 08 - 04:06 AM

"......and I am in your debt."


Mick there is no debt among friends for as you receive today you will give tommorow. Friendship even among people who will never meet is like the vast tide that touches every shore in the world, it ebbs and flows with the pull of life but when friends are needed they are there.

A fragile thread of strength

Alone I am one
A fragile thread
broken and battered
by the trials of life.
I feel darkness suround me
and know I cannot go on.

Then out of the darkness
A hand stretches to me
The hand of a loved one
The hand of a neighbour
The hand of someone I may never know
And as it touches me
I am no loger alone.

Their faith may be my faith
their faith may be something very different
The may profess no faith save in life itself.
Yet each day their touch of prayer
their touch of thoughts and wishes
Strengthen me

I am not one
no longer a single fragile thread
For I am woven in
with all the other fragile threads
Together we are strong as a firemans blanket
Together we are a warm blanket
that can cover the world.

mhtbl. july 12th 2008 0905

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-7/11@913
From: maeve
Date: 12 Jul 08 - 07:33 AM

Ahhh, Megan. Yes.

Mick, you have your answer.

"Let us take this walk together" Jan Harmon

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-7/11@913
From: momnopp
Date: 12 Jul 08 - 11:33 AM

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Mick}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

JudyO/momnopp

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-7/11@913pm
From: gnu
Date: 12 Jul 08 - 11:42 AM

Megan... you brought even more tears to my eyes. Thanks.

Mick, buddy... "......and I am in your debt." Never.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-7/11@913
From: jacqui.c
Date: 12 Jul 08 - 01:15 PM

Mick - you have always been there for the rest of us, in grief as well as happy times. Would you expect less in return?

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-7/11@913pm
From: Hollowfox
Date: 12 Jul 08 - 05:01 PM

Oh Mick, I'm so sorry that this happened. My heart goes out to you, as my prayers go upward.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-7/11@913pm
From: GUEST,Dani
Date: 12 Jul 08 - 05:11 PM

Yes, let us hear no more of this 'debt' shit, ok?

And keep checking in when you can...

Dani

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-7/11@913pm
From: Art Thieme
Date: 12 Jul 08 - 11:34 PM

Again, Mick, please know --- we're with you. ----- Art

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-7/11@913
From: Mudlark
Date: 13 Jul 08 - 05:21 AM

Dear Mick...I haven't been on Mudcat for some time, and was dismayed to read of your tragic news. Sorry, sorry, sorry....My best thoughts and strongest wishes for steady recovery for you all.
Nancy

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-7/11@913pm
From: MartinRyan
Date: 13 Jul 08 - 05:33 AM

From another latecomer to this thread ..... Be well, Mick.


Martin

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-7/11@913pm
From: sapper82
Date: 13 Jul 08 - 02:00 PM

Thinking of and praying for you, Mick, big ugly shamrock yank that you are!
Times like this remind us of how precious our children are and how much pain there is when we loose them.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-7/11@913
From: maeve
Date: 14 Jul 08 - 11:13 AM

Refresh

We're still thinking of you and yours, Mick.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-7/11@913pm
From: Willie-O
Date: 16 Jul 08 - 08:44 PM

refresh.

Mick, do please let us know how Ciara's doing when you have a chance. I think I can say that we are all concerned about her well-being.

Bill

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-7/11@913pm
From: SINSULL
Date: 16 Jul 08 - 09:01 PM

Uh, Mick. What Dani says does not include the ring...

I pray for you and yours every day.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-7/11@913pm
From: GUEST,Sheila
Date: 16 Jul 08 - 09:08 PM

I am so sorry to read this. I will say a prayer for you and yours.

Sheila

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-7/11@913pm
From: Liam's Brother
Date: 16 Jul 08 - 09:16 PM

Mick,
Just came across this today. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
Dan

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-7/11@913pm
From: Big Mick
Date: 16 Jul 08 - 09:40 PM

OK, update time.

The first thing that I must say is that even though I have witnessed and participated in the Mudcat miracle many times over the years, it still floors me, most especially when one is the recipient. It is humbling, it is gratifying, and it restores ones faith in humans of all stripes. I am so proud to be a part of this community.

It appears more and more that there is much more to this accident than first met the eye. If one read the news reports, or listened to the TV reports, they would think that this was a case of a couple of girls giggling, having fun, not paying attention, missing a stop sign, all with tragic results. But that is not the case. Ciara pulled up to the stop sign and stopped according to the witnesses. There was a tractor pulling a loaded hay wagon very slowly. Ciara looked, determined she had plenty of time, pulled out to cross the road. At that moment, a young man in a car behind the wagon decided he had had enough, gunned the car and passed in the intersection, and hit Ciara. There were no skid marks, he never even had time to react. The farmer said Ciara stopped and looked. The Traffic Reconstruction Lieutenant said it was "a perfect storm of an accident". I am at war with the media. First they reported the accident and then speculated that Ciara had run a stop sign. Then I discorver, much to my anger, that a reporter sent Ciara a message on Facebook, asking her to contact her privately and give them details of the accident. This after they reported that she was a minor, that she was in critical condition, and while the investigation was ongoing. Old Mick loves a fight, especially when someone else picks it. This is one of those times. The media, if they are acting with integrity, has the job to report the news, not create it. They have the obligation to be accurate, and not speculate. If there is any integrity involved, they would balance the public's need to know with the potential effect on the individuals, the families, and the community. And under no circumstances should they be contacting minor children for statements without the parents, who are responsible, consent. As I pointed out to the Editor in Chief, there is a TV show on in the States that deals with online predators who take advantage of minors by preying on them via the internet. Understanding that the show is about sexual predators, but really about preying on young teens, I asked him how his reporter was any different? I am not done with this one, in fact I have barely started. We are going to have a discussion in this community about journalistic integrity in the Brave, New World.

Ciara continues to heal, and she continues to amaze. She got out of the hospital just in time to visit with Terra's remarkable family. Many tears were shed between us. The next day, at Terra's funeral, with the blessing of Terra's Mom, she spoke during the funeral. A very brave young lady, and I am so proud to be her Dad. The next day we were having breakfast and she asked me, "Dad, will I ever be a normal kid again?". I told her she already was a normal kid, but she would never be the same kid again. She has experienced something that many, thanks be to God, never have to face. She told me that she has been thinking about it a lot, and that her very last memory of Terra was of Terra laughing. Ciara has accepted that it was Terra's time to depart this earth, and she told me that she feels honored to have been the one that spent the last moments with her and laughing. We have much healing to do, but if that is the point we are starting from, this Dad is feeling good about that. We know we have work to do, and I know about the imp known as PTSD. But we will get through this, together.

Thanks for showing the miraculous Mudcat heart. It truly is a wonder.

Love to all,

Mick

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-7/16@940pm
From: ranger1
Date: 16 Jul 08 - 10:09 PM

Thanks for the update, Mick. Ciara has been in my thoughts frequently these last several days.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-7/16@940pm
From: katlaughing
Date: 16 Jul 08 - 10:15 PM

Thanks from me, too, Mick. If it is any consolation, I think a lot of us read between the lines. When I read the young man was passing the tractor, my first thought was he should not have been passing in an intersection; I felt sure there was more to it than what the media was reporting. It is deplorable the media actually tried to contact her privately.

Much love and healing thoughts to you all,

luvyakat

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-7/16@940pm
From: catspaw49
Date: 16 Jul 08 - 10:15 PM

Nothing to be said from this quarter.......well, just a few thoughts perhaps...............

Ciara has all she needs and a future in her own hands. I feel confident she'll ask for what she neeeds pretty much as she needs it and equally confident the support is so strong behind her that nothing will be insurmountable. Great kid Mick.......Good parents I'd say......

This is a remarkable community. Ten years ago we felt our way along and surprised ourselves at how deeply we felt for one sick guy. Since then we have opened ourselves even further to the closeness that any real community has. As we have learned about ourselves, we have continued to face more and more situations with a bonding together not often seen other places.

Our numbers have grown and with that there has come the problems of growth that any village goes through as their populace increases. Some move in and become an integral part, others are enjoying the life in the village but can be counted on to show up when needed. Some though will simply arrive and never see the reality of the community outside the small space they occupy. Its the net, but its the real world as well and it mirrors exactly what happens in the 3D world.

The community has seen much illness and death and other tragedies as the years have passed and in every case I am dumbfounded at the warmth, love, compassion, and generosity, of Mudcat Village. It does me good.

You see, after these many years, like others, I've gotten bored with seeing much of the same in the daily threads and have amused myself at the expense of others whom I cared little for and who seemed to care not at all for this place I have loved so much. I'd apologize but why? No sense apologizing, its over. This thread and the terrible news from Laurel (Open Mike) have proven for me once again that the denizens of this town are in greater numbers and just as actively involved in the caring as ever before......(and if you haven't sent something, somehow yet, do it soon!).

Thank you all for rekindling a faith in this place that I felt I'd lost. To those who have come for just the chat, take a dip in the lake here and see if it doesn't have some healing waters in it for you as well.

Spaw

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-7/16@940pm
From: Beer
Date: 16 Jul 08 - 10:25 PM

Thanks for the up date Mick. My thoughts are with you and your love ones.
Spaw, one day I hope to meet you. I like what you say and feel.
Adrien

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-7/16@940
From: Alice
Date: 16 Jul 08 - 10:26 PM

Mick, your description is so much like my parent's car accident. My dad stopped at an intersection on a rural road where he had a yield sign. He looked both ways and started to cross, when a driver, speeding on his way to work in the morning, came around a curve and hit them broadside. From the impact and location of how the cars landed, he must have been going at least 70 in a 35 mph zone. The speeder had a sprained ankle, but he killed 3 people. There are so many things outside of our control.

Take care, and tell Ciara love from Montana.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-7/16@940pm
From: Beer
Date: 16 Jul 08 - 10:36 PM

I like that Alice. "Love from Montana".
Here is Love from Quebec Canada Ciara.
Adrien

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-7/16@940
From: Amos
Date: 17 Jul 08 - 12:14 AM

ANd tel her love from the Southern California beaches, as well, Mick. She's a gem of a girl.


A

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-7/16@940
From: Seamus Kennedy
Date: 17 Jul 08 - 12:16 AM

Mick, I'll contact you privately.
All my best to Ciara and you.

Seamus

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-7/16@940pm
From: catspaw49
Date: 17 Jul 08 - 12:20 AM

Sorry, but its against the law for an Ohioan to send any positive greetings to "the state up north." It all started with Toledo and then deteriorated badly during the lifetimes of Woody Hayes and Bo Schembechler.....................

Spaw

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-7/16@940
From: GUEST,Jack the Sailor
Date: 17 Jul 08 - 12:24 AM

Thank you for the update. May God bless you all.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-7/16@940
From: Colin Randall
Date: 17 Jul 08 - 12:34 AM

Mick



Despite the poor reputation of the entire trade of journalism, there are good and decent reporters who - I hope - heavily outnumber the appalling, unfeeling and unethical beasts of the sort that would try to contact a minor in the way you describe. The broad principle probably applies to most areas of human activity.

I have worked in newspapers for most of my life and now occupy a reasonably senior position (predominantly in news; writing about folk music is a small part of what I do). The issue of approaches to people who find themselves in the media spotlight after some awful event is a tricky one, and I would willingly participate in the future debate you propose.

But if any reporter under my command acted in this way, I would regard it as serious enough to warrant dismissal. I am not even sure I would quarrel with your argument that it has the feel of predatory criminal conduct.

My thoughts, as expressed in an earlier message, remain with you and both families.

Subject: RE: Obit: My heart is broken-Mick**Update-7/16@940
From: lisa null
Date: 17 Jul 08 - 01:31 AM

Mick--

Just an update to your updates telling you how close i feel to you and your daughter... your words to her were good. My brother was murdered when I was only a year or tewo older than your daughter-- I was never the same, and it is an experience i would never wish on anyone. Still, it is an experience from which one learns and grows and becomes deeper and more sensitive to the richness and seriousness of life. Charlie and i are with you in every way....