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Mad Magazine parodies

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GUEST,Dave 19 Feb 19 - 02:05 PM
Donuel 24 Dec 18 - 08:43 AM
GUEST,Guest67 21 Dec 18 - 12:31 PM
robomatic 08 Dec 18 - 08:16 PM
GUEST,Fred 08 Dec 18 - 01:58 PM
GUEST,Fred 08 Dec 18 - 01:32 PM
Donuel 29 Nov 18 - 08:54 PM
GUEST,GUEST 27 Nov 18 - 04:55 PM
EBarnacle 15 Aug 18 - 12:00 AM
GUEST 14 Aug 18 - 12:43 AM
GUEST,Guest mad reader 12 Jul 18 - 04:28 PM
GUEST,Neon Leon 11 Feb 18 - 09:43 PM
Donuel 07 Nov 17 - 06:42 PM
GUEST,Iddo.Effie 05 Nov 17 - 12:25 PM
GUEST,Jim Belesky 10 May 17 - 11:54 PM
GUEST,newtonsmum 29 Mar 17 - 01:52 PM
GUEST,itsy 15 Jan 17 - 01:04 PM
GUEST 03 Aug 16 - 10:52 AM
GUEST 19 May 16 - 04:23 PM
GUEST,skylarkbc 13 May 16 - 01:19 AM
GUEST,Bill_R 10 May 16 - 11:12 PM
GUEST,SGKingdom 07 May 16 - 01:52 PM
GUEST,To the tune of the Air Force Song 17 Feb 16 - 11:56 PM
GUEST,Tune of the Marine Corps Hymn 17 Feb 16 - 11:44 PM
GUEST,Suzanne, Australia 19 Jan 16 - 02:46 AM
GUEST,Bob johns 14 Dec 15 - 12:17 PM
GUEST,A Guy From Baltimore 01 Dec 15 - 04:43 PM
GUEST,Anita 23 Nov 15 - 06:16 PM
clueless don 23 Nov 15 - 09:06 AM
GUEST,Montreal88 22 Nov 15 - 11:12 PM
GUEST,Ebor Fiddler 20 Nov 15 - 08:42 AM
clueless don 19 Nov 15 - 08:38 AM
keberoxu 18 Nov 15 - 06:13 PM
GUEST,rll_sb 18 Nov 15 - 02:11 PM
GUEST,guest 25 Sep 15 - 01:21 PM
GUEST 08 Sep 15 - 10:48 PM
GUEST,Bill 07 Sep 15 - 01:47 PM
GUEST 25 May 15 - 08:30 PM
GUEST,Old galoot 27 Apr 15 - 03:55 PM
GUEST,Ship2shore 20 Apr 15 - 09:44 AM
GUEST,Ship2shore 20 Apr 15 - 09:34 AM
GUEST,JonWiz 04 Apr 15 - 10:01 PM
GUEST,Guest Atimk11123 10 Oct 14 - 01:27 PM
GUEST,idseer 07 Sep 14 - 04:57 PM
GUEST,Torka 17 Jul 14 - 04:07 PM
GUEST 12 Jun 14 - 11:35 PM
GUEST,Sleight0fHand 03 Jun 14 - 12:00 PM
GUEST,Stringbead 29 May 14 - 10:29 AM
GUEST,Zingdar 31 Mar 14 - 10:29 AM
GUEST,demfig 24 Dec 13 - 10:51 PM
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Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies
From: GUEST,Dave
Date: 19 Feb 19 - 02:05 PM

Sung to the tune of "Button up your Overcoat"

Buckle up your helmet strap, hide behind a tree,
there's a riot again down at PS3.
Don't go near the picket line, that's no place to be,
they may fracture your skull down at PS3.
Beware of roughneck nuts, oooo,
switchblade cuts, oooo, trooper's mutts, oooo.
You'll get a bite in your tummy tum tum tum.
Keep away from flying rocks they bay break your knee.
Life at school nowadays is like world war 3.


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Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies
From: Donuel
Date: 24 Dec 18 - 08:43 AM

The first movie I saw and could retell was Attack of the 50 foot Woman.
This month the cover of Mad is Attack of the 50 ft Trump.


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Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies
From: GUEST,Guest67
Date: 21 Dec 18 - 12:31 PM

When I was about 10, my friend and I would sing Mad Magazine parodies for my dad. He would laugh until his stomach hurt, his face was red, and he had to take off his glasses and wipe his eyes between bellows of laughter. I remember several, my favorite being this one. Here's most of it, sung to the tune of "Love is Blue:

News, News, It's time for News
Cronkite is here, so what can you lose?
News, News, World leaders' views
Brezhnev, and Mao, and George Pompidou

(Line I can't remember--can anyone help?
(Line I can't remember--can anyone help?
News, News, Domestic News,
News of the Mob, that you can't refuse

When we're through
And the world's picked clean,
Sevareid will explain what you've seen!

Bought the Mad Magazine Anniversary book and was disappointed to see that the song lyrics didn't make it. They probably had no idea how many people loved them and still remember them. In my case, it's been around 45 years, and I'm missing two lines.
Funny what sticks with you. I can't remember where I've put my phone or car keys, but I remember the whole skit we laid out for my dad.


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Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies
From: robomatic
Date: 08 Dec 18 - 08:16 PM

No song but when I was in high school I got to visit the Soviet Union. For my onflight reading I took a copy of MAD magazine where they were skewering the movie version of "Catch-22". The magazine cover was a big headed Alfred E. Neuman in WWII flight gear smiling his inimitable grin. Got some interesting double takes going through Soviet Customs!


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Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies
From: GUEST,Fred
Date: 08 Dec 18 - 01:58 PM

Off we go
Into the lunchroom yonder
Pushing girls, out of the way.
Forward boys,
Start moving down the counter,
Grab your grub, fill up your tray.
Try the beans, they were prepared last Friday,
And the meat's tough as a mule.
The soup is cold
The bread's got mold
Yech! Anything beats the lunchroom at our school.


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Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies
From: GUEST,Fred
Date: 08 Dec 18 - 01:32 PM

Off we go
Into the lunchroom yonder
Pushing girls, out of the way.
Forward boys,
Start moving down the counter,
Grab your grub, fill up your tray.
Try the beans, they were prepared last Friday,
And the meat's tough as a mule.
The soup is cold
The bread's got mold
Yech! Anything beats the lunchroom at our school.


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Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies
From: Donuel
Date: 29 Nov 18 - 08:54 PM

GUESTGUEST Kent had a Micronite filter ( short for micronitroglycerin )


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Subject: RE: TO A SMOKER, IT'S A KENT
From: GUEST,GUEST
Date: 27 Nov 18 - 04:55 PM

To a sheriff, it's a top gun's shot,
to a rustler, it's a hangman's knot,
to a cowboy, it's a mad stampede,
to a smoker, it's a weed.

To a bigot, it's a Jew next door,
to a klansman, it's a guy from CORE,
to a bircher, it's a Commie nut,
to a smoker, it's a butt.

To a diver, it's a hungry shark,
to a stroller, it's a Central Park,
to a hunter, it's a wild stag,
to a smoker, it's a drag.

To an ulcer, it's a shot of booze,
to a weak heart, it's some shocking news,
to a deep cut, it could be gangrene,
to a smoker, nicotine.


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Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies
From: EBarnacle
Date: 15 Aug 18 - 12:00 AM

In the years this thread has been running, there has been mention of some of the regular guest contributors, especially from the '50's but who can forget Tom Lehrer, whose every printed utterance was a glorious epic parody of entire generae without having to say "I'm writing something to the melody of X." Consider "The Wild West is where I want to be" and many others. I am glad he is still with us but regret his retirement.


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Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies
From: GUEST
Date: 14 Aug 18 - 12:43 AM

I'm searching Alfred E., for a classic from around(1960) the time between throwing lemons at cars and finally getting it wet. A dentist song to the tune of the Air Force song.
Off we go,Into the wild mouth yonder, looking for molars to fill. There's a tooth ready to feel out thunder, at em boy's, give em the dril..???/@#$%^&*()@@##DFDI'..................I've lost the middle part and that section of my brain, but
IF YOU REMEBER THE LAST STANZA OF THE AIR FORCE song, I guess it's a song
WHEN WE'RE IN DOUBT
WE PULL THEM OUT
OH' N0THING CAN STOP THE DENTISTS TODAY


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Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies
From: GUEST,Guest mad reader
Date: 12 Jul 18 - 04:28 PM

I think the last few lines for "watchdog in the the night" go something like this:
    Whenever I'm in sight-
    it's so upsetting
    Every time you bite-
    it's me you're getting
    ooooh! ooooh! ooooh!
    my watchdog in the nighttt


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Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies
From: GUEST,Neon Leon
Date: 11 Feb 18 - 09:43 PM

Casey at the Dice by Frank Jacobs

The table wasn't breaking for the Vegas crowd that night,
The house was up 12 thousand, with no change of luck in sight;
So, when Epstein came up snake-eyes and Spinelli missed his point,
A mood of deep depression could be felt throughout the joint.

The dollar-bettors, cleaned of cash, were heading for the door,
But all the big high-rollers stayed to even up the score;
They said: "If only Casey had a chance to roll the dice,
We'd have a chance to change our luck, which now is cold as ice."

Then, suddenly, their eyes lit up, a cry rose from their lips,
It echoed off the slot machines, it rattled off the chips;
It rumbled through the Black Jack games as cards were being dealt,
For Casey, lucky Casey, was advancing to the felt!

His nails were cleanly manicured, his face was richly tanned,
His suit was iridescent silk that cost him half a grand;
The cuff-links on his sheer batiste were rubies from afar,
Between his teeth he cooly smoked a ninety-cent cigar!

There was ease in Casey's manner as he calmly placed his bet,
His hands were steady as a rock, his palms were free of sweat;
The other shooters, now revived, together had one goal,
To place each C-note they had left on Casey and his roll!

With confidence and quiet pride he gripped the cubes of white,
Then, blowing on them softly, he prepared them for their flight;
"A seven, dice," he murmured, as he looked up to the sky,
And a hush went 'round the table as he raised his arm on high!

The cool is drained from Casey's face, his eyes are tense and keen
And all along his sun-drenched brow deep furrows can be seen;
And now he firmly hold the dice, and now he lets them go,
And now the air is shattered by the force of Casey's throw!

Oh, somewhere in this wealthy land there is a happy spot,
Where naturals are being rolled, and dice are running hot;
And somewhere men are doubling up and winners scream and shout,
But there is no joy in Vegas -- Lucky Casey has crapped out!


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Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies
From: Donuel
Date: 07 Nov 17 - 06:42 PM

Who still has their record 'It's a Gas'?


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Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies
From: GUEST,Iddo.Effie
Date: 05 Nov 17 - 12:25 PM

Some filler for GUEST,jesfine

From "College Fight songs we'd like to hear"
To the tune "Anchors Away":

On to the fray, my boys
On to the fray!
Kill those who block our path and
grind their bones to Clay!(clay, clay. clay)

We're mighty Pivnick men
stalwart and strong!
We'll beat the visitors
as soon as we conclude this modest song!


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Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies
From: GUEST,Jim Belesky
Date: 10 May 17 - 11:54 PM

I was at an amateur folk event a couple of weeks ago. One act played Dylan's Blowing in the Wind. Afterwards, I looked online to see if anyone posted the version 'The Sponsors will sell you all they can'. Lines like
How many times must you gargle each day
Before you talk to a friend
The sponsors my friend, will sell you all they can
The sponsors will sell you all they can


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Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies
From: GUEST,newtonsmum
Date: 29 Mar 17 - 01:52 PM

Can anyone fill in the rest of this? All I can remember is:
(To the tune of My Bonnie Lies Over the Ocean)

On Look there's a cop shooting tear gas
On Life there's a thug set to kill
A hate-group is pictured on Harper's
A young junkie's on Jack & Jill

That's how, that's how,
That's how you sell magazines today.
That's how, that's how, that's how you sell magazines


There was also a line about "a mad dog is on Field & Steam"


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Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies
From: GUEST,itsy
Date: 15 Jan 17 - 01:04 PM

If anyone knows the rest of these lyrics:

I have often walked down your street before
but there once was pavement underneath my feet before.
Now when I walk by I see rubble fly, knowing I'm on the street where you live.

This must have been late 50's or early 60's during the cold war.


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Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies
From: GUEST
Date: 03 Aug 16 - 10:52 AM

A couple I remember from back at least 40-50 years ago:

The Langscaper's Song.
(sung to the tune of The Marine Song)

From the ants in our petunia beds
To the crabgrass on our lawns
We will fight them off with chemicals
'Til the bugs and weeds are gone.

We'll use quarts and quarts of poison sprays
And we won't stop 'til we're through
All the bugs and weeds are dying now
But the plants and trees are too.


The Mafia Song:
(Battle Hymn of the Republic)

Mine eyes have sen the gory of the coming of the mob
With an ice pick or a .45 they knock off every slob
The Don gives all the orders for each big or little job
Godfather marches on.

Gory, gory how they slew ya
Gory, gory how they slew ya
Gory, gory how they slew ya
Godfather marches on.

When the boss puts out a contract in your head they'll make a dent
Then they'll wrap you in an overcoat that's made of cement
On the bottom of the river, you'll become a reseden
Godfather marches on.


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Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies
From: GUEST
Date: 19 May 16 - 04:23 PM

oH YOU DONT HAVE TO WORRY IF YOUR COMPLEXION IS GOOD WHEN YOU'RE OUT TO TERRORIZE THE NEIGHBORHOOD.
aND YOU DON'T HAVE TO WORRY IF YOU'LL BE HOME SOON WHEN YOU LIVE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BLACK LAGOON.

iNCOMPLETE FRAGMENTS OF SUPERNATURALLY FROM MANNY GET YOUR GHOUL, BASED LOOSELY ON ANNIE GET YOUR GUN

iDA TARBELL
MR1111@CHARTER.NET


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Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies
From: GUEST,skylarkbc
Date: 13 May 16 - 01:19 AM

Still in the memory banks:
Melvin, Norman and Fred one night
sailed off in a garbage scow
Sailed down a river of floating blight
with coffee grounds on the prow
Stuff that's rotten and ripe have we
Said Melvin, Norman and Fred.

The Coast Guard scowled and searched the three
as they rocked in the garbage scow
they found smuggled guns in kegs marked 'tea'
and contraband in the prow
We wonder who could have put that stuff there,
surely it wasn't we
So whimpered aloud the smugglers three
Melvin, Norman and Fred

Melvin and Fred are in Leavenworth
and Norman's on the Rock
The garbage scow has a lovely berth
in custody at the dock
Melvin's due out in '64 and Fred in '73
Norman he tried to go over the wall
but a guard he happened to see
and that was the end of one-third of the three
Melvin, [deceased] and Fred


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Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies
From: GUEST,Bill_R
Date: 10 May 16 - 11:12 PM

The Monopoly song was part of the "fight songs for lesser school teams" (along with the bridge team song). The whole lyric, IIRC:

To the tune of the Marines' Hymn:

From the slums of Baltic Avenue
'Round Boardwalk and Park Place
We will buy up all the prop-er-ties
Build hotels on every space.
We will drive our foes to bank-rup-tcy
If they fail to pay the price…
But we cannot even start the game
'Till somebody finds the dice.


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Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies
From: GUEST,SGKingdom
Date: 07 May 16 - 01:52 PM

The WW3 aftermath songs were my favorites.
Thanks for the "Street Where You Live"

Here's "My Blue Shelter"
"Whenever I hear
A bomb threat is near
I hurry to my blue shelter
A hole in the floor
A six inch lead door
Will lead you to my blue shelter

You'll see a smiling face
Without a trace of coming doom
A little nest that's nestled where
The H bombs boom

Just Molly and me
Let's see, that makes three
We're happy in my blue shelter"

I never understood that last part, but when I was younger, it was hilarious.


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Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies
From: GUEST,To the tune of the Air Force Song
Date: 17 Feb 16 - 11:56 PM

Off we go into the barracks yonder,
Pulling an inspection again.
Roar right in just like a clap of thunder
Scare the hell out of the men.

Gig 'em all, this is no time to blunder
Get KPs like never before.
We live to harass the enlisted class.
Nothing can stop the Chicken Brass Corps.


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Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies
From: GUEST,Tune of the Marine Corps Hymn
Date: 17 Feb 16 - 11:44 PM

From the halls of old ROTC
To the rooms at OCS
We are taught that all enlisted men
Have to live in great distress.

So, we badger and annoy them
With our chores both cruel and mean,
And instead of fighting battles
They are cleaning up latrines.


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Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies - Poe Business
From: GUEST,Suzanne, Australia
Date: 19 Jan 16 - 02:46 AM

It's the 19th January 2016 today
and the 207th birthday of Edgar Allan Poe (1809 - 1849)

I remembered a fantastic parody I copied from Mad Magazine. My choir friends and I loved to sing this in the late 1960s

Thank you so much to Neil Koro for his posts in January and May 2013.
You and Mudcat have made my day
You helped fill in the gaps for me, so between us, this is what I have come up with. I hope you like it.


"There's no business like Poe Business"
(to the tune "There's no business like show business")

There's no business like Poe business ,
Like no business I know.
If you want a tale that is appalling,
If you want to murmur, shriek and cry,
If you want to hear strange bodies falling,
And spirits calling, then Poe's your guy.

There's no stories like Poe stories ,
They all fill us with woe.
If you want a tale that's filled with death galore,
With spirits tapping upon your door,
And some crazy raven shrieking, "Nevermore!"
There's no business like Poe.


Hollywood is constantly looking for new ideas or producing endless sequels (or prequels)
But now that there are so many special effects available,
perhaps now would be an excellent time to resurrect Poe's stories and restore him to greatness.


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Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies
From: GUEST,Bob johns
Date: 14 Dec 15 - 12:17 PM

Watchdog in the night (Song to the tune of Strangers In The Night)

Watchdog in the night
I've never chained you
Watchdog in the night
I've always trained you
To proctor my house, until the night was through

Watchdog in the night
A stupid beagle you were
Watchdog in the night

And when those burglars came
You didn't mind it
They were after loot
You helped them find it
Diamonds, rings and furs
You quickly led them to

Watchdog in the night
A stupid beagle you were
Watchdog in the night

And later on when I returned to my poor home
How you jaws did foam
You became a snapping dog
A wild and fearless yapping dog
And ever since that night
It's so upsetting
Every time you bite
It's me your getting
It turned out so right
For watchdog in the night


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Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies
From: GUEST,A Guy From Baltimore
Date: 01 Dec 15 - 04:43 PM

Did a Google search for Mad song parodies, as I grew up reading the book collections (such as "Sing Along With Mad" and "Mad About Verse." I remember one of the military anthems in full:

(Marine Corps Hymn)
From the neck-high mud of fo-ox holes
To malaria-filled bogs
We will march for ninety miles a day
And drop out and die like dogs

We will land on mine-strewn beaches
And we'll live with snakes and fleas
Then we'll all leave Parris Island for
Restful combat overseas!

and part of the Air Force hymn...
Off we go, into the barracks yonder,
Pulling an inspection again...
Roar right in, just like a clap of thunder
Scare the hell out of the men!

To the tune of "Aquarius" (from the musical "Hair")
When the sun is blotted out of sight
And both your eyes begin to burn
And you can't see the freeway
To make
That left hand turn
You know you're driving in the
Smog of Los Angeles!
Smog of Los Angeles!
Los Angeleeeees!


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Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies
From: GUEST,Anita
Date: 23 Nov 15 - 06:16 PM

Does anyone remember the parody of Gunga Din? It was probably from the late 70s/early 80s...?? It was fro an article called "Mad Takes on The Classics" Or something like that. All I remember is the beginning:

Oh, you can talk of blood and gore
If your in a shooting war,
and the enemy is rushing for the kill.

But if you're' wanting slaughter,
Then you ought to haul some water,
Like that brave and fearless couple,
Jack and Jill.

Poor Jack and Jill,
They went rushing up that hill,
And nary one thought they'd loose their life!

..and the ending,
You're a braver man than I am,
Jack and Jill!!!


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Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies
From: clueless don
Date: 23 Nov 15 - 09:06 AM

"My Fair Ad-Man"
"Star Blecch"

and on. and on.


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Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies
From: GUEST,Montreal88
Date: 22 Nov 15 - 11:12 PM

(Tune of "Stranger in Paradise")

Let's play cards
I'm no good with a pair o' dice.

There was another song to the tune of "Isle of Capri" with a line:
I found her there
On a pile of debris.

Remember the "Mad Beastlies"? One had a drawing of two native Indians with brooms on top of a huge 2-headed man. The quote read: "Braves Sweep Giant Doubleheader".

Movie and TV parodies I remember:
"201 Minutes of a Space Idiocy"
"The Man from A.U.N.T.I.E."
"Voyage to See What's On the Bottom" (Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea)
"Loused Up in Space" (Lost in Space)
I think there was also "The Sound of Money".

And my all-time favorite parody of pro sports:
"43-man Squamish"


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Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies
From: GUEST,Ebor Fiddler
Date: 20 Nov 15 - 08:42 AM

I remember fondly the non-parody of The Wreck of the Hesperus, with fiendishly comical illustrations, such as "billows NOT pillows!" The rest is best left to the imagination.


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Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies
From: clueless don
Date: 19 Nov 15 - 08:38 AM

I've lost track of whether this has been mentioned before, but Mad did a take-off on West Side Story, called "East Side Story" - it was about the United Nations (whose headquarters are on New York's East side?)

One song (to the tune of "There's a Place for Us") was sung by Chairman Mao, asking to be admitted to the UN. One verse went something like

Please be sweet to us
and give a seat to us.
Let us in and such joy you'll get
like we gave
Tibet.

Don


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Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies
From: keberoxu
Date: 18 Nov 15 - 06:13 PM

I remember some of these!


"Oh What a Beautiful Morning" must have been popular for parodies, because I recall the DENTIST'S LOVE SONG or some such title:

There's a bright golden cap on your cuspid
There's a bright golden cap on your cuspid
The gold glitters down from the bridgework above
One filling is loose and I'm falling in love

Oh What a Terrible MO-LAR
See how the cavity's grown
I'll put my heart in my drilling
If you will call me your own

You can tell that the novocaine's working
You can tell that the novocaine's working
Your feeling is gone from your chin to your ear
Your tongue's getting numb and I worship you dear

Oh What a Glorious FEE-LING
And though my love you now spurn
Darling your heart I'll be winning
When in six months you return


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Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies
From: GUEST,rll_sb
Date: 18 Nov 15 - 02:11 PM

A little nest that nestled where the H bombs boom

You'll see a smiling face without a trace of coming doom.


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Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies
From: GUEST,guest
Date: 25 Sep 15 - 01:21 PM

Back to West Side Story... MAD did indeed do a parody on it. I can only remember a few lines sung to the tune "Maria" titled "Amoeba"
Amoeba...I just met a blob named Amoeba,
----
Chorus: Amoeba..how your two cells do split into four cells.
       And those four cells will split into more cells.
       Amoeba,...I just met a blob named Amoeba.
On a side note, Mad did a version sung to the tune of Bridge over the River Kwai called Comet.
   Comet..It makes your mouth turn green. Comet..It tastes like   
    kerosene. Comet, It makes you vomit...so eat some Comet, and
      vomit, today.


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Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies
From: GUEST
Date: 08 Sep 15 - 10:48 PM

In the dark they're aglowing,
It's another way of knowing,
That I'm nothing but a square.


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Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies
From: GUEST,Bill
Date: 07 Sep 15 - 01:47 PM

Adding to the "No Monsters Like Pro Monsters," I seem to recall a lyric that went something like:

(Something about being) ...a normal slob,
You've got a wife and kid and a steady job,
You drink a magic potion, and you're now the Blob....

And that's all I recall.


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Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies
From: GUEST
Date: 25 May 15 - 08:30 PM

TO A SMOKER, IT'S A KENT

To an ulcer, it's a shot of booze
to a weak heart, it's some shocking news,
to a deep cut, it could be gangrene,
to a smoker, nicotine.

To a sheriff, it's a top gun shot,
to a rustler, it's a hangman's knot,
to a cowboy, it's a wild stampede,
to a smoker, it's a weed.

To a bigot, it's a Jew next door,
to a klansman, it's a guy from CORE,
??

To a stroller, it's central park,

???

Anybody know the rest?


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Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies
From: GUEST,Old galoot
Date: 27 Apr 15 - 03:55 PM

Our kid's away, thank God
Our kid's away!
We've sent him off to ca-amp
At fifty bu-ucks a da-ay!
Though that's a lot to pay
We'll make no fuss!
If we complain then they might
Send him back, send him back, to uh-usss!

Sung to Anchors Aweigh. Sound familiar to anyone?


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Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies
From: GUEST,Ship2shore
Date: 20 Apr 15 - 09:44 AM

How the heck does one remember something from almost 50 years ago?? I think as kids, we treasured the hilarity and wittiness of both the words and the accompanying artwork, and set to music, it somehow remains intact. Can still visualize some of the funny art, too. I recall one more to share:

To the tune of the "Notre Dame Fight Song"

Cheer, cheer for our charge accounts.
We run up bills in mammoth amounts.
Freezers, sports cars, TV sets.
Each one keeps bringing brand new debts.
What though the bills be great or small?
We can't pay one, so why pay at all?
We will live in comfort while we're heading towards bankruptcy!


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Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies
From: GUEST,Ship2shore
Date: 20 Apr 15 - 09:34 AM

Another funny blast from the past courtesy of the zany minds of Mad Magazine.

To the tune of "Frosty the Snowman" -

Harry the mailman brings us letters soaked with rain.
Jams the box so full that the mail is crushed
and then laughs when we complain.

Charlie the milkman is the biggest slob in town
Seldom leaves the quarts that we've asked him for,
when he does, they're upside-down.

Eleven months through-out the year, they're as lousy as can be.
But starting in December, they show great efficiency.
Then Charlie and Harry really show they're full of zip!
And they'll work that way every doggone day,
Til they get their Christmas tip!


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Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies
From: GUEST,JonWiz
Date: 04 Apr 15 - 10:01 PM

I remember only the first stanza of a parody of "The Killing od Dan Megrew"
   A bunch of the boys were whooping it up,
   one Christmas Eve one year,
   all full of cheap whiskey and hoping like hell,
   that Saint Nick would soon appear.
   
    Can't remember the rest, could someone help finish the rest?


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Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies
From: GUEST,Guest Atimk11123
Date: 10 Oct 14 - 01:27 PM

I also remember a Mad Magazine parody on a poem. It went ,
I remember I remember the place where I was born
The little bathroom down the hall
where nineteen raced each morn

The rest I cannot remember of find a copy. It was a hoot.


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Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies
From: GUEST,idseer
Date: 07 Sep 14 - 04:57 PM

ok, there was one from the 60's about Khrushchev sung to the tune "maria" from westside story. all I remember is:

nikita .... I just met a red named mikita

I know it's not much, but does anyone have access to the whole thing?


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Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies
From: GUEST,Torka
Date: 17 Jul 14 - 04:07 PM

From the same "Songs About Food" issue mentioned previously...

HELLO, DELI
(to the tune of "Hello, Dolly")

Hello, deli...
This is Joe, deli...
Would you please send up some nice corned beef on rye?
A box of Ritz, deli;
And some Schlitz, deli;
Some chopped liver, and a sliver of your apple pie?
Turkey legs, deli;
Hard boiled eggs, deli;
Some tomatoes and potatoes you french fry,
Oh!
Please don't be late, deli!
Cause I can't wait, deli!
Deli, without breakfast I will die!


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Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies
From: GUEST
Date: 12 Jun 14 - 11:35 PM

Sung to the tune "Red river valley".......

In this valley they say they are digging
They are building a thruway they say
It will cross your yard and will miss
Your split level which is twelve feet away

Do not play by the craters they're digging
For the craters are big and they're deep
If you fall into one you'll be buried
And you really don't need all that sleep

Do not touch all the funny explosives
Do not play with the dynamite cap
If you do you'll be like a thruway
You'll be spread all over the map.


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Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies
From: GUEST,Sleight0fHand
Date: 03 Jun 14 - 12:00 PM

I still remember a good bit of a parody of the Gunga Din poem but about Joe Namath...

You can talk about your guards,
And your fullbacks gaining yards.
And those ends that run the hook and down-and-out.
But when it comes to glory, then the quarterback's your story.
Cause it's him the fans all want to read about.

Now there's .... and Johny U, Bart Starr and ..... too,
And Fran Tarkington, who scrambles for his dough.
But of those that pass the ball,
It seems the coolest of them all,
Is that hero of the Jets team, Broadway Joe.

For it's "Joe!, Joe!, Joe!", a blonde is waving in the seventh row.
All the grandstands will be shaking,
With the passes you'll be making.
And we don't mean playing football, Broadway Joe.


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Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies
From: GUEST,Stringbead
Date: 29 May 14 - 10:29 AM

Does anyone remember the parody song about Huntley and Brinkley? I remember parts of it. To the tune of Frankie and Johnnie.

Huntley and Brinkley were partners working for old NBC
They swore they would stick with each other every weekday on TV
Chet was Dave's pal, but he was doing him wrong.

At the end it was something like this:

Brinkley walked into the station and golly he pretty near died
Cause there in the newsroom was Huntley with Eric Severeid
Chet was Dave's pal, but he was doing him wrong.


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Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies
From: GUEST,Zingdar
Date: 31 Mar 14 - 10:29 AM

God bless the BOYS that made the NOISE
at MAD Magazine !

To the tune of "Kisses sweeter then wine"


Well, when I was a young man I had me no car,
So I always stayed home, I never went far.
I had me no wheels, no gas in the tank,
In fact all I really had was dough in the bank.

Oh, oh, money that was all mine,
Oh, oh, money that was all mine.

Well, I met a dealer and I showed him my cash,
He said, 'My friend, what you need is a '52 Nash.
The contract I signed was to drive me to tears,
It called for low easy payments
for the next hundred years.

Oh, oh, money no longer mine,
Oh, oh, money no longer mine.

Well, I don't like to protest, I'm just not that kind,
But when my grounds for complaint are so easy to find.
License and tax are outrageously high,
And when you go to insure, kiss your savings 'Go Bye'.

Oh, oh, money used to be mine,
Oh, oh, money used to be mine.

Well, I've heard it proclaimed,
though I'm not really sure.
That there's a Federal Program,
To help out the poor.
I don't ask for food or the Job-Training-Corp,
Just cash to make a dozen payments or more.

Oh, oh, money rightfully mine,
Oh, oh, money rightfully mine.


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Subject: Oh goodness, oh gracious, oh golly, oh gee . . .
From: GUEST,demfig
Date: 24 Dec 13 - 10:51 PM

Trying to locate a Christmas poem published in Mad Magazine in late 50s or early 60s. It began, "Oh goodness, oh gracious oh golly, oh gee; I wonder what all the commotion can be?; someone is shouting and cursing at me; why, Santa is stuck in our chimney . . ." Can anyone help with additional verses?


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