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Mad Magazine parodies

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GUEST,Allenhopkins 24 May 13 - 06:10 PM
GUEST,Tom 16 Jun 13 - 08:21 AM
GUEST,Tom 16 Jun 13 - 08:36 AM
GUEST 26 Jun 13 - 06:10 PM
GUEST,lifelonghuman 16 Jul 13 - 12:00 PM
GUEST,paladin1216 24 Sep 13 - 11:07 AM
GUEST,Nutty Sister 04 Oct 13 - 02:37 PM
GUEST,Nuttier Sister 04 Oct 13 - 05:17 PM
GUEST,Sheld'n 14 Dec 13 - 10:43 PM
GUEST,Sheld'n 14 Dec 13 - 10:47 PM
GUEST,demfig 24 Dec 13 - 10:51 PM
GUEST,Zingdar 31 Mar 14 - 10:29 AM
GUEST,Stringbead 29 May 14 - 10:29 AM
GUEST,Sleight0fHand 03 Jun 14 - 12:00 PM
GUEST 12 Jun 14 - 11:35 PM
GUEST,Torka 17 Jul 14 - 04:07 PM
GUEST,idseer 07 Sep 14 - 04:57 PM
GUEST,Guest Atimk11123 10 Oct 14 - 01:27 PM
GUEST,JonWiz 04 Apr 15 - 10:01 PM
GUEST,Ship2shore 20 Apr 15 - 09:34 AM
GUEST,Ship2shore 20 Apr 15 - 09:44 AM
GUEST,Old galoot 27 Apr 15 - 03:55 PM
GUEST 25 May 15 - 08:30 PM
GUEST,Bill 07 Sep 15 - 01:47 PM
GUEST 08 Sep 15 - 10:48 PM
GUEST,guest 25 Sep 15 - 01:21 PM
GUEST,rll_sb 18 Nov 15 - 02:11 PM
keberoxu 18 Nov 15 - 06:13 PM
clueless don 19 Nov 15 - 08:38 AM
GUEST,Ebor Fiddler 20 Nov 15 - 08:42 AM
GUEST,Montreal88 22 Nov 15 - 11:12 PM
clueless don 23 Nov 15 - 09:06 AM
GUEST,Anita 23 Nov 15 - 06:16 PM
GUEST,A Guy From Baltimore 01 Dec 15 - 04:43 PM
GUEST,Bob johns 14 Dec 15 - 12:17 PM
GUEST,Suzanne, Australia 19 Jan 16 - 02:46 AM
GUEST,Tune of the Marine Corps Hymn 17 Feb 16 - 11:44 PM
GUEST,To the tune of the Air Force Song 17 Feb 16 - 11:56 PM
GUEST,SGKingdom 07 May 16 - 01:52 PM
GUEST,Bill_R 10 May 16 - 11:12 PM
GUEST,skylarkbc 13 May 16 - 01:19 AM
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GUEST,newtonsmum 29 Mar 17 - 01:52 PM
GUEST,Jim Belesky 10 May 17 - 11:54 PM
GUEST,Iddo.Effie 05 Nov 17 - 12:25 PM
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GUEST,Neon Leon 11 Feb 18 - 09:43 PM
GUEST,Guest mad reader 12 Jul 18 - 04:28 PM
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Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies
From: GUEST,Allenhopkins
Date: 24 May 13 - 06:10 PM

Some remembered:

In Levittown did Irving Kahn, a stately Cape Cod house decree,
Where Alf, the sacred Neuman dwelt
And Nick Fazool, and Olaf Svelt,
And even Sean Magee.

There fifty feet of crab-grass ground, with picket fence were girdled round,
A place for little Milt to play,
A port for Irving's Chevrolet.

But just one thing is not the very best;
You can't tell Irving's house from all the rest.

And one of the Pivnik Tech songs (to "On, Wisconsin"):

On brave Pivnik, on brave Pivnik, show them you've got spunk!
Suffocate them, decimate them, leave them all for junk!
Send a roar up, roll the score up, stomp them into mud --
And then clean up the mess with their own blood!

The garbage men's song (to "Anchors Aweigh"):

Trash cans away, my boys, trash cans away!
Let's really make some noise,
Let's wake them up today-ay-ay-ay;

Eggshells and coffee grounds, grease from the pan,
Can't make ear-splitting sounds,
So dump the garbage, dump the garbage can!


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Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies
From: GUEST,Tom
Date: 16 Jun 13 - 08:21 AM

Sung to the tune of "Born Free":

M G
I live just to touch you
When I double clutch you
MG, it gives me a thrill

M G
I love your ignition
Your four speed transmission
Your points your plugs and your grill

M G
I'll wash you and wax you
If some Chevy smacks you
I'll die, M G


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Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies
From: GUEST,Tom
Date: 16 Jun 13 - 08:36 AM

Sorry but forgot a stanza in my post above, I think I have it correct here ...

Sung to the tune of "Born Free":

M-G
I live just to touch you
When I double clutch you
MG, it gives me a thrill

M-G
I love your ignition
Your four speed transmission
Your points, your plugs and your grill

M-G
When I look inside you
The sight of each piston rod
Brings me closer to God

M-G
I'll wash you and wax you
If some Chevy smacks you
I'll die .. M .. G


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Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies
From: GUEST
Date: 26 Jun 13 - 06:10 PM

the complete Pivnik Tech lyrics, to the best of my memory:

Pray, pray for old Pivnik Tech
We're gonna get it right in the neck
Send the sound of taps on high
As our whole team lays down to die

What though the odds may be great or small
Old Pivik Tech will fumble the ball
While our undergrads get sick
And transfer to USC

On another note, does anyone have the compete version of this Mad
parody of The Road to Mandalay, which contains the following:

On the road to Loueyville
Where the hoodlums shoot to kill
And the thugs come up like thunder
When you owe the mob a bill


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Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies "Tea for Two"
From: GUEST,lifelonghuman
Date: 16 Jul 13 - 12:00 PM

No friends or relations,
On weekend vacations,...

On week...ends...we...can go...and see,
What used...to be...Schenec...tady, ...

[those ... are musical rests]


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Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies
From: GUEST,paladin1216
Date: 24 Sep 13 - 11:07 AM

This is from memory. I hope it's right.

She's a Mean Old Bag

To the tune of "Grand old Flag"

She's a mean old bag, she's a nasty old hag,
And forever she's filled us with hate.

But we treat her sweet, and kiss her feet,
And tell het we think that she's great.

She may curse at us, we will not raise a fuss,
When she starts in to scream and nag,

For we all are counting what we'll get,
From the will of that mean old bag.


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Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies
From: GUEST,Nutty Sister
Date: 04 Oct 13 - 02:37 PM

I'm "trying to remember" that campaign song for Alfred E. Neuman.

This is what I have (thanks to those who posted some verses!)

To the tune of "Try to Remember"

Try to remember this coming
to vote for Neuman, vote for Neuman
Change your direction, don't look for perfection
and vote for Neuman, vote for Neuman.

Alfred E. Neuman, though slightly sub-human
will win just like Truman did from Missouri.
Back today and the country can say "What, Me Worry?"

Kennedy voters and Nixon promoters
will vote for Neuman, vote for Neuman.
Humphrey crusaders and Lindsay paraders
will vote for Neuman, vote for Neuman.

Alfred E. Neuman, with brain of albumen
will win just like Truman did from Missouri.
Back and then we can say once again "What, Me Worry?"


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Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies
From: GUEST,Nuttier Sister
Date: 04 Oct 13 - 05:17 PM

And, since our beloved candidate is immortal, we can adapt our song for any election. For instance a year ago we could have been singing:

To the tune of "Try to Remember"

Hillary voters, Obama promoters
will vote for Neuman, vote for Neuman.
Romney crusaders and Gingrich paraders
will vote for Neuman, vote for Neuman.

Alfred E. Neuman, with brain of albumen
will win just like Truman did from Missouri.
Back him and then we can say once again "What, Me Worry?


Let's see what happens in 2016. I sure I'll be sending a write-in ballad for Alfred!!!


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Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies
From: GUEST,Sheld'n
Date: 14 Dec 13 - 10:43 PM

Ring, ring for Bell Telephone
We look up numbers when they're unknown
We place calls for V.I.P.s
We listen in each time we please

We are efficient, we are alert
We hear the gossip, pick up the dirt
Every time a call's cut off we
Hang up for victory!


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Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies
From: GUEST,Sheld'n
Date: 14 Dec 13 - 10:47 PM

The above is to the tune of the "Notre Dame fight song".


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Subject: Oh goodness, oh gracious, oh golly, oh gee . . .
From: GUEST,demfig
Date: 24 Dec 13 - 10:51 PM

Trying to locate a Christmas poem published in Mad Magazine in late 50s or early 60s. It began, "Oh goodness, oh gracious oh golly, oh gee; I wonder what all the commotion can be?; someone is shouting and cursing at me; why, Santa is stuck in our chimney . . ." Can anyone help with additional verses?


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Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies
From: GUEST,Zingdar
Date: 31 Mar 14 - 10:29 AM

God bless the BOYS that made the NOISE
at MAD Magazine !

To the tune of "Kisses sweeter then wine"


Well, when I was a young man I had me no car,
So I always stayed home, I never went far.
I had me no wheels, no gas in the tank,
In fact all I really had was dough in the bank.

Oh, oh, money that was all mine,
Oh, oh, money that was all mine.

Well, I met a dealer and I showed him my cash,
He said, 'My friend, what you need is a '52 Nash.
The contract I signed was to drive me to tears,
It called for low easy payments
for the next hundred years.

Oh, oh, money no longer mine,
Oh, oh, money no longer mine.

Well, I don't like to protest, I'm just not that kind,
But when my grounds for complaint are so easy to find.
License and tax are outrageously high,
And when you go to insure, kiss your savings 'Go Bye'.

Oh, oh, money used to be mine,
Oh, oh, money used to be mine.

Well, I've heard it proclaimed,
though I'm not really sure.
That there's a Federal Program,
To help out the poor.
I don't ask for food or the Job-Training-Corp,
Just cash to make a dozen payments or more.

Oh, oh, money rightfully mine,
Oh, oh, money rightfully mine.


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Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies
From: GUEST,Stringbead
Date: 29 May 14 - 10:29 AM

Does anyone remember the parody song about Huntley and Brinkley? I remember parts of it. To the tune of Frankie and Johnnie.

Huntley and Brinkley were partners working for old NBC
They swore they would stick with each other every weekday on TV
Chet was Dave's pal, but he was doing him wrong.

At the end it was something like this:

Brinkley walked into the station and golly he pretty near died
Cause there in the newsroom was Huntley with Eric Severeid
Chet was Dave's pal, but he was doing him wrong.


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Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies
From: GUEST,Sleight0fHand
Date: 03 Jun 14 - 12:00 PM

I still remember a good bit of a parody of the Gunga Din poem but about Joe Namath...

You can talk about your guards,
And your fullbacks gaining yards.
And those ends that run the hook and down-and-out.
But when it comes to glory, then the quarterback's your story.
Cause it's him the fans all want to read about.

Now there's .... and Johny U, Bart Starr and ..... too,
And Fran Tarkington, who scrambles for his dough.
But of those that pass the ball,
It seems the coolest of them all,
Is that hero of the Jets team, Broadway Joe.

For it's "Joe!, Joe!, Joe!", a blonde is waving in the seventh row.
All the grandstands will be shaking,
With the passes you'll be making.
And we don't mean playing football, Broadway Joe.


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Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies
From: GUEST
Date: 12 Jun 14 - 11:35 PM

Sung to the tune "Red river valley".......

In this valley they say they are digging
They are building a thruway they say
It will cross your yard and will miss
Your split level which is twelve feet away

Do not play by the craters they're digging
For the craters are big and they're deep
If you fall into one you'll be buried
And you really don't need all that sleep

Do not touch all the funny explosives
Do not play with the dynamite cap
If you do you'll be like a thruway
You'll be spread all over the map.


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Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies
From: GUEST,Torka
Date: 17 Jul 14 - 04:07 PM

From the same "Songs About Food" issue mentioned previously...

HELLO, DELI
(to the tune of "Hello, Dolly")

Hello, deli...
This is Joe, deli...
Would you please send up some nice corned beef on rye?
A box of Ritz, deli;
And some Schlitz, deli;
Some chopped liver, and a sliver of your apple pie?
Turkey legs, deli;
Hard boiled eggs, deli;
Some tomatoes and potatoes you french fry,
Oh!
Please don't be late, deli!
Cause I can't wait, deli!
Deli, without breakfast I will die!


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Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies
From: GUEST,idseer
Date: 07 Sep 14 - 04:57 PM

ok, there was one from the 60's about Khrushchev sung to the tune "maria" from westside story. all I remember is:

nikita .... I just met a red named mikita

I know it's not much, but does anyone have access to the whole thing?


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Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies
From: GUEST,Guest Atimk11123
Date: 10 Oct 14 - 01:27 PM

I also remember a Mad Magazine parody on a poem. It went ,
I remember I remember the place where I was born
The little bathroom down the hall
where nineteen raced each morn

The rest I cannot remember of find a copy. It was a hoot.


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Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies
From: GUEST,JonWiz
Date: 04 Apr 15 - 10:01 PM

I remember only the first stanza of a parody of "The Killing od Dan Megrew"
   A bunch of the boys were whooping it up,
   one Christmas Eve one year,
   all full of cheap whiskey and hoping like hell,
   that Saint Nick would soon appear.
   
    Can't remember the rest, could someone help finish the rest?


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Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies
From: GUEST,Ship2shore
Date: 20 Apr 15 - 09:34 AM

Another funny blast from the past courtesy of the zany minds of Mad Magazine.

To the tune of "Frosty the Snowman" -

Harry the mailman brings us letters soaked with rain.
Jams the box so full that the mail is crushed
and then laughs when we complain.

Charlie the milkman is the biggest slob in town
Seldom leaves the quarts that we've asked him for,
when he does, they're upside-down.

Eleven months through-out the year, they're as lousy as can be.
But starting in December, they show great efficiency.
Then Charlie and Harry really show they're full of zip!
And they'll work that way every doggone day,
Til they get their Christmas tip!


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Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies
From: GUEST,Ship2shore
Date: 20 Apr 15 - 09:44 AM

How the heck does one remember something from almost 50 years ago?? I think as kids, we treasured the hilarity and wittiness of both the words and the accompanying artwork, and set to music, it somehow remains intact. Can still visualize some of the funny art, too. I recall one more to share:

To the tune of the "Notre Dame Fight Song"

Cheer, cheer for our charge accounts.
We run up bills in mammoth amounts.
Freezers, sports cars, TV sets.
Each one keeps bringing brand new debts.
What though the bills be great or small?
We can't pay one, so why pay at all?
We will live in comfort while we're heading towards bankruptcy!


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Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies
From: GUEST,Old galoot
Date: 27 Apr 15 - 03:55 PM

Our kid's away, thank God
Our kid's away!
We've sent him off to ca-amp
At fifty bu-ucks a da-ay!
Though that's a lot to pay
We'll make no fuss!
If we complain then they might
Send him back, send him back, to uh-usss!

Sung to Anchors Aweigh. Sound familiar to anyone?


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Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies
From: GUEST
Date: 25 May 15 - 08:30 PM

TO A SMOKER, IT'S A KENT

To an ulcer, it's a shot of booze
to a weak heart, it's some shocking news,
to a deep cut, it could be gangrene,
to a smoker, nicotine.

To a sheriff, it's a top gun shot,
to a rustler, it's a hangman's knot,
to a cowboy, it's a wild stampede,
to a smoker, it's a weed.

To a bigot, it's a Jew next door,
to a klansman, it's a guy from CORE,
??

To a stroller, it's central park,

???

Anybody know the rest?


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Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies
From: GUEST,Bill
Date: 07 Sep 15 - 01:47 PM

Adding to the "No Monsters Like Pro Monsters," I seem to recall a lyric that went something like:

(Something about being) ...a normal slob,
You've got a wife and kid and a steady job,
You drink a magic potion, and you're now the Blob....

And that's all I recall.


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Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies
From: GUEST
Date: 08 Sep 15 - 10:48 PM

In the dark they're aglowing,
It's another way of knowing,
That I'm nothing but a square.


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Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies
From: GUEST,guest
Date: 25 Sep 15 - 01:21 PM

Back to West Side Story... MAD did indeed do a parody on it. I can only remember a few lines sung to the tune "Maria" titled "Amoeba"
Amoeba...I just met a blob named Amoeba,
----
Chorus: Amoeba..how your two cells do split into four cells.
       And those four cells will split into more cells.
       Amoeba,...I just met a blob named Amoeba.
On a side note, Mad did a version sung to the tune of Bridge over the River Kwai called Comet.
   Comet..It makes your mouth turn green. Comet..It tastes like   
    kerosene. Comet, It makes you vomit...so eat some Comet, and
      vomit, today.


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Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies
From: GUEST,rll_sb
Date: 18 Nov 15 - 02:11 PM

A little nest that nestled where the H bombs boom

You'll see a smiling face without a trace of coming doom.


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Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies
From: keberoxu
Date: 18 Nov 15 - 06:13 PM

I remember some of these!


"Oh What a Beautiful Morning" must have been popular for parodies, because I recall the DENTIST'S LOVE SONG or some such title:

There's a bright golden cap on your cuspid
There's a bright golden cap on your cuspid
The gold glitters down from the bridgework above
One filling is loose and I'm falling in love

Oh What a Terrible MO-LAR
See how the cavity's grown
I'll put my heart in my drilling
If you will call me your own

You can tell that the novocaine's working
You can tell that the novocaine's working
Your feeling is gone from your chin to your ear
Your tongue's getting numb and I worship you dear

Oh What a Glorious FEE-LING
And though my love you now spurn
Darling your heart I'll be winning
When in six months you return


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Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies
From: clueless don
Date: 19 Nov 15 - 08:38 AM

I've lost track of whether this has been mentioned before, but Mad did a take-off on West Side Story, called "East Side Story" - it was about the United Nations (whose headquarters are on New York's East side?)

One song (to the tune of "There's a Place for Us") was sung by Chairman Mao, asking to be admitted to the UN. One verse went something like

Please be sweet to us
and give a seat to us.
Let us in and such joy you'll get
like we gave
Tibet.

Don


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Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies
From: GUEST,Ebor Fiddler
Date: 20 Nov 15 - 08:42 AM

I remember fondly the non-parody of The Wreck of the Hesperus, with fiendishly comical illustrations, such as "billows NOT pillows!" The rest is best left to the imagination.


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Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies
From: GUEST,Montreal88
Date: 22 Nov 15 - 11:12 PM

(Tune of "Stranger in Paradise")

Let's play cards
I'm no good with a pair o' dice.

There was another song to the tune of "Isle of Capri" with a line:
I found her there
On a pile of debris.

Remember the "Mad Beastlies"? One had a drawing of two native Indians with brooms on top of a huge 2-headed man. The quote read: "Braves Sweep Giant Doubleheader".

Movie and TV parodies I remember:
"201 Minutes of a Space Idiocy"
"The Man from A.U.N.T.I.E."
"Voyage to See What's On the Bottom" (Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea)
"Loused Up in Space" (Lost in Space)
I think there was also "The Sound of Money".

And my all-time favorite parody of pro sports:
"43-man Squamish"


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Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies
From: clueless don
Date: 23 Nov 15 - 09:06 AM

"My Fair Ad-Man"
"Star Blecch"

and on. and on.


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Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies
From: GUEST,Anita
Date: 23 Nov 15 - 06:16 PM

Does anyone remember the parody of Gunga Din? It was probably from the late 70s/early 80s...?? It was fro an article called "Mad Takes on The Classics" Or something like that. All I remember is the beginning:

Oh, you can talk of blood and gore
If your in a shooting war,
and the enemy is rushing for the kill.

But if you're' wanting slaughter,
Then you ought to haul some water,
Like that brave and fearless couple,
Jack and Jill.

Poor Jack and Jill,
They went rushing up that hill,
And nary one thought they'd loose their life!

..and the ending,
You're a braver man than I am,
Jack and Jill!!!


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Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies
From: GUEST,A Guy From Baltimore
Date: 01 Dec 15 - 04:43 PM

Did a Google search for Mad song parodies, as I grew up reading the book collections (such as "Sing Along With Mad" and "Mad About Verse." I remember one of the military anthems in full:

(Marine Corps Hymn)
From the neck-high mud of fo-ox holes
To malaria-filled bogs
We will march for ninety miles a day
And drop out and die like dogs

We will land on mine-strewn beaches
And we'll live with snakes and fleas
Then we'll all leave Parris Island for
Restful combat overseas!

and part of the Air Force hymn...
Off we go, into the barracks yonder,
Pulling an inspection again...
Roar right in, just like a clap of thunder
Scare the hell out of the men!

To the tune of "Aquarius" (from the musical "Hair")
When the sun is blotted out of sight
And both your eyes begin to burn
And you can't see the freeway
To make
That left hand turn
You know you're driving in the
Smog of Los Angeles!
Smog of Los Angeles!
Los Angeleeeees!


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Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies
From: GUEST,Bob johns
Date: 14 Dec 15 - 12:17 PM

Watchdog in the night (Song to the tune of Strangers In The Night)

Watchdog in the night
I've never chained you
Watchdog in the night
I've always trained you
To proctor my house, until the night was through

Watchdog in the night
A stupid beagle you were
Watchdog in the night

And when those burglars came
You didn't mind it
They were after loot
You helped them find it
Diamonds, rings and furs
You quickly led them to

Watchdog in the night
A stupid beagle you were
Watchdog in the night

And later on when I returned to my poor home
How you jaws did foam
You became a snapping dog
A wild and fearless yapping dog
And ever since that night
It's so upsetting
Every time you bite
It's me your getting
It turned out so right
For watchdog in the night


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Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies - Poe Business
From: GUEST,Suzanne, Australia
Date: 19 Jan 16 - 02:46 AM

It's the 19th January 2016 today
and the 207th birthday of Edgar Allan Poe (1809 - 1849)

I remembered a fantastic parody I copied from Mad Magazine. My choir friends and I loved to sing this in the late 1960s

Thank you so much to Neil Koro for his posts in January and May 2013.
You and Mudcat have made my day
You helped fill in the gaps for me, so between us, this is what I have come up with. I hope you like it.


"There's no business like Poe Business"
(to the tune "There's no business like show business")

There's no business like Poe business ,
Like no business I know.
If you want a tale that is appalling,
If you want to murmur, shriek and cry,
If you want to hear strange bodies falling,
And spirits calling, then Poe's your guy.

There's no stories like Poe stories ,
They all fill us with woe.
If you want a tale that's filled with death galore,
With spirits tapping upon your door,
And some crazy raven shrieking, "Nevermore!"
There's no business like Poe.


Hollywood is constantly looking for new ideas or producing endless sequels (or prequels)
But now that there are so many special effects available,
perhaps now would be an excellent time to resurrect Poe's stories and restore him to greatness.


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Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies
From: GUEST,Tune of the Marine Corps Hymn
Date: 17 Feb 16 - 11:44 PM

From the halls of old ROTC
To the rooms at OCS
We are taught that all enlisted men
Have to live in great distress.

So, we badger and annoy them
With our chores both cruel and mean,
And instead of fighting battles
They are cleaning up latrines.


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Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies
From: GUEST,To the tune of the Air Force Song
Date: 17 Feb 16 - 11:56 PM

Off we go into the barracks yonder,
Pulling an inspection again.
Roar right in just like a clap of thunder
Scare the hell out of the men.

Gig 'em all, this is no time to blunder
Get KPs like never before.
We live to harass the enlisted class.
Nothing can stop the Chicken Brass Corps.


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Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies
From: GUEST,SGKingdom
Date: 07 May 16 - 01:52 PM

The WW3 aftermath songs were my favorites.
Thanks for the "Street Where You Live"

Here's "My Blue Shelter"
"Whenever I hear
A bomb threat is near
I hurry to my blue shelter
A hole in the floor
A six inch lead door
Will lead you to my blue shelter

You'll see a smiling face
Without a trace of coming doom
A little nest that's nestled where
The H bombs boom

Just Molly and me
Let's see, that makes three
We're happy in my blue shelter"

I never understood that last part, but when I was younger, it was hilarious.


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Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies
From: GUEST,Bill_R
Date: 10 May 16 - 11:12 PM

The Monopoly song was part of the "fight songs for lesser school teams" (along with the bridge team song). The whole lyric, IIRC:

To the tune of the Marines' Hymn:

From the slums of Baltic Avenue
'Round Boardwalk and Park Place
We will buy up all the prop-er-ties
Build hotels on every space.
We will drive our foes to bank-rup-tcy
If they fail to pay the price…
But we cannot even start the game
'Till somebody finds the dice.


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Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies
From: GUEST,skylarkbc
Date: 13 May 16 - 01:19 AM

Still in the memory banks:
Melvin, Norman and Fred one night
sailed off in a garbage scow
Sailed down a river of floating blight
with coffee grounds on the prow
Stuff that's rotten and ripe have we
Said Melvin, Norman and Fred.

The Coast Guard scowled and searched the three
as they rocked in the garbage scow
they found smuggled guns in kegs marked 'tea'
and contraband in the prow
We wonder who could have put that stuff there,
surely it wasn't we
So whimpered aloud the smugglers three
Melvin, Norman and Fred

Melvin and Fred are in Leavenworth
and Norman's on the Rock
The garbage scow has a lovely berth
in custody at the dock
Melvin's due out in '64 and Fred in '73
Norman he tried to go over the wall
but a guard he happened to see
and that was the end of one-third of the three
Melvin, [deceased] and Fred


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Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies
From: GUEST
Date: 19 May 16 - 04:23 PM

oH YOU DONT HAVE TO WORRY IF YOUR COMPLEXION IS GOOD WHEN YOU'RE OUT TO TERRORIZE THE NEIGHBORHOOD.
aND YOU DON'T HAVE TO WORRY IF YOU'LL BE HOME SOON WHEN YOU LIVE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BLACK LAGOON.

iNCOMPLETE FRAGMENTS OF SUPERNATURALLY FROM MANNY GET YOUR GHOUL, BASED LOOSELY ON ANNIE GET YOUR GUN

iDA TARBELL
MR1111@CHARTER.NET


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Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies
From: GUEST
Date: 03 Aug 16 - 10:52 AM

A couple I remember from back at least 40-50 years ago:

The Langscaper's Song.
(sung to the tune of The Marine Song)

From the ants in our petunia beds
To the crabgrass on our lawns
We will fight them off with chemicals
'Til the bugs and weeds are gone.

We'll use quarts and quarts of poison sprays
And we won't stop 'til we're through
All the bugs and weeds are dying now
But the plants and trees are too.


The Mafia Song:
(Battle Hymn of the Republic)

Mine eyes have sen the gory of the coming of the mob
With an ice pick or a .45 they knock off every slob
The Don gives all the orders for each big or little job
Godfather marches on.

Gory, gory how they slew ya
Gory, gory how they slew ya
Gory, gory how they slew ya
Godfather marches on.

When the boss puts out a contract in your head they'll make a dent
Then they'll wrap you in an overcoat that's made of cement
On the bottom of the river, you'll become a reseden
Godfather marches on.


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Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies
From: GUEST,itsy
Date: 15 Jan 17 - 01:04 PM

If anyone knows the rest of these lyrics:

I have often walked down your street before
but there once was pavement underneath my feet before.
Now when I walk by I see rubble fly, knowing I'm on the street where you live.

This must have been late 50's or early 60's during the cold war.


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Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies
From: GUEST,newtonsmum
Date: 29 Mar 17 - 01:52 PM

Can anyone fill in the rest of this? All I can remember is:
(To the tune of My Bonnie Lies Over the Ocean)

On Look there's a cop shooting tear gas
On Life there's a thug set to kill
A hate-group is pictured on Harper's
A young junkie's on Jack & Jill

That's how, that's how,
That's how you sell magazines today.
That's how, that's how, that's how you sell magazines


There was also a line about "a mad dog is on Field & Steam"


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Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies
From: GUEST,Jim Belesky
Date: 10 May 17 - 11:54 PM

I was at an amateur folk event a couple of weeks ago. One act played Dylan's Blowing in the Wind. Afterwards, I looked online to see if anyone posted the version 'The Sponsors will sell you all they can'. Lines like
How many times must you gargle each day
Before you talk to a friend
The sponsors my friend, will sell you all they can
The sponsors will sell you all they can


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Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies
From: GUEST,Iddo.Effie
Date: 05 Nov 17 - 12:25 PM

Some filler for GUEST,jesfine

From "College Fight songs we'd like to hear"
To the tune "Anchors Away":

On to the fray, my boys
On to the fray!
Kill those who block our path and
grind their bones to Clay!(clay, clay. clay)

We're mighty Pivnick men
stalwart and strong!
We'll beat the visitors
as soon as we conclude this modest song!


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Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies
From: Donuel
Date: 07 Nov 17 - 06:42 PM

Who still has their record 'It's a Gas'?


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Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies
From: GUEST,Neon Leon
Date: 11 Feb 18 - 09:43 PM

Casey at the Dice by Frank Jacobs

The table wasn't breaking for the Vegas crowd that night,
The house was up 12 thousand, with no change of luck in sight;
So, when Epstein came up snake-eyes and Spinelli missed his point,
A mood of deep depression could be felt throughout the joint.

The dollar-bettors, cleaned of cash, were heading for the door,
But all the big high-rollers stayed to even up the score;
They said: "If only Casey had a chance to roll the dice,
We'd have a chance to change our luck, which now is cold as ice."

Then, suddenly, their eyes lit up, a cry rose from their lips,
It echoed off the slot machines, it rattled off the chips;
It rumbled through the Black Jack games as cards were being dealt,
For Casey, lucky Casey, was advancing to the felt!

His nails were cleanly manicured, his face was richly tanned,
His suit was iridescent silk that cost him half a grand;
The cuff-links on his sheer batiste were rubies from afar,
Between his teeth he cooly smoked a ninety-cent cigar!

There was ease in Casey's manner as he calmly placed his bet,
His hands were steady as a rock, his palms were free of sweat;
The other shooters, now revived, together had one goal,
To place each C-note they had left on Casey and his roll!

With confidence and quiet pride he gripped the cubes of white,
Then, blowing on them softly, he prepared them for their flight;
"A seven, dice," he murmured, as he looked up to the sky,
And a hush went 'round the table as he raised his arm on high!

The cool is drained from Casey's face, his eyes are tense and keen
And all along his sun-drenched brow deep furrows can be seen;
And now he firmly hold the dice, and now he lets them go,
And now the air is shattered by the force of Casey's throw!

Oh, somewhere in this wealthy land there is a happy spot,
Where naturals are being rolled, and dice are running hot;
And somewhere men are doubling up and winners scream and shout,
But there is no joy in Vegas -- Lucky Casey has crapped out!


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Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies
From: GUEST,Guest mad reader
Date: 12 Jul 18 - 04:28 PM

I think the last few lines for "watchdog in the the night" go something like this:
    Whenever I'm in sight-
    it's so upsetting
    Every time you bite-
    it's me you're getting
    ooooh! ooooh! ooooh!
    my watchdog in the nighttt


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