Lyr Req: Poor Blind Nell (bawdy)

Subject: Poor Blind Nell
From:
Date: 08 Jun 99 - 12:20 PM

Not a song so much as the sort of thing that gets recited at Rugby CLub dinners - or would, if one could remember the words.

The first verse goes,

The sun shone on the village green;
It shone on poor blind Nell.
But could she see that flaming orb?
Could she - Fucking Hell!

The poem continues. . . There is also a (related?) question/answer that goes:

"And did he marry poor blind Nell?" "Did he buggery!"

Same structure, I suspect similar story-line.

Ideas?

Subject: RE: Poor Blind Nell
From: Peter
Date: 09 Jun 99 - 03:16 PM

C'mon - someone must have herad this one!

Subject: RE: Poor Blind Nell
From: GUEST,ThomasAJohnson
Date: 30 Sep 02 - 07:29 PM

I remember it as starting:
The moon shone on the village pump - it also shone on Nell
Was she pumping water - was she bloody hell!
Along came Dirty Dick the captain of the lugger
He wasn't fit to shovel shit the dirty little bugger.
He took her to a wayside halt - which wasn't very lawful
And when he took his trousers down the stink was bloody aweful.

It's mentioned in Spike Milligan's 'Mussolini - His Part in My Downfall' where he says that in 32 bars Blind Nell has more perversions committed on her than a victim of Caligula.

Subject: RE: Poor Blind Nell
From: Leadfingers
Date: 30 Sep 02 - 07:35 PM

Reminds of the Forces rewrite of a nice thirties dance band song
called Poor Little Angeline,who suffered all sorts of indignties
at the hands(???)of the village squire,

Subject: RE: Poor Blind Nell
From: GUEST
Date: 01 Sep 04 - 03:35 PM

The sun shone on the village green, it shone on poor blind Nell.
Was she picking buttercups was she F'ing hell.

She was waiting for her lover, a filthy mucky bugger,
Who wasn't fit to shovel shit from one cart to another.

He laid her down upon the village green which wasn't very lawful,
and when he took his trousers off the stink was F'ing awful.

Up got little Nell and ran like bloody hell, The bastard he pursued her,
The white of an egg ran down her leg which showed that he had screwed her.

Subject: RE: Poor Blind Nell
From: Teresa
Date: 01 Sep 04 - 03:47 PM

Wow, never heard that one before. I am blind, and I love collecting blind jokes, etc., especially the non-Pc variety. ;) Well, I guess none of them are PC.

I wonder if there's an American variation on that?
T

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Poor Blind Nell
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 05 Sep 04 - 06:05 AM

There is a book called Bawdy Ballads & Dirty Ditties of the Wartime RAF which includes POOR BLIND NELL.

It also appears on an album called Up The Foc'sle by The Lower Mess-Deck Chorale Ensemble. That site has a sound sample, from which I transcribed this. (Note: the "****" represents words that are "bleeped" in the recording. This is the original publisher's censorship, not mine!)

...on the village green. It shone on Poor Blind Nell.
But did she see the sun that shone? Did she, ****ing hell!

A sailor to the village came, the captain of a lugger.
He capitivated Poor Blind Nell, the dirty rotten bugger.

At night he slept with little Nell. He knew it wasn't lawful.
But when when he took her panties down, the smell was ****ing awful.

He took the girl out in a punt, and to the sea he lagged (?) her
Then lacerated (?)...

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Poor Blind Nell
From: GUEST,bernard
Date: 01 Jan 09 - 06:38 PM

The moon shone on the village pump, it also shone on Nell
And did she want her lover near? did she fucking hell

A stoker chanced to pass that way, he was a stoker on a lugger
he wasn't fit to shovel shit (the dirty rotten fucker)

He took her to a little room (it really wasn't lawful)
When he took his trousers down the smell was something awful

As she lay upon the bed a-sobbin', and a-sighin'
He said "lay still you little c*** I can't get my knob in"

At last he got it in then wriggled it about
Then he started cussing cause he couldn't get it out

Now she's sending letters and lots of loving parcels
"will he come home on leave? will he fcking ars**oles

Subject: Lyr Add: POOR BLIND NELL
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 02 Jan 09 - 11:09 PM

POOR BLIND NELL

The sun shone on the village green. It shone on Poor Blind Nell,
But did she see the sun that shone? Did she fucking hell!

A sailor to the village came, the captain of a lugger.
He captivated Poor Blind Nell, the dirty, lousy bugger.

One night he slept with Poor Blind Nell. He knew it wasn't lawful,
And though her tits were very sweet, her feet smelt fucking awful.

He took the girl out in a punt and to the seat he lashed 'er,
Then lacerated Poor Nell's cunt, the dirty, lousy bastard.

And when he went to sea again, he sent her books and parcels,
But did he write and thank Poor Nell? Did he fucking arseholes!


--from Count Palmiro Vicarion's Grand Grimoire of Bawdy Ballads and Limericks by Count Palmiro Vicarion (Christopher Logue), Blackmask Online, 2006.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Poor Blind Nell
From: GUEST,dave
Date: 01 Sep 09 - 01:08 PM

the moon shone on the village green
It shone on mucky nell
Was she pickin buttercups
Was she f*@#*@ hell

She was lookin for her lover
The bold and dirty bugger
Who wasnt fit to shovel shit
From one arse to another

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Poor Blind Nell
From: GUEST,Teefy
Date: 09 Oct 09 - 11:52 AM

The moon shone on the village pump, it also shone on Nell
Was she waiting for her lover? Was she bloody hell
She was waiting for dirty Dan who worked aboard a lugger
He wasn't fit to shovel shit, the dirty rotten bugger

He took her down a leafy lane, his intentions were unlawful
And when she dropped her knickers down the smell was bloody awful
He whipped it in, he whipped it out, he wiped it on the grass
And when she cried "enough" "enough", he whipped it up her arse

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Poor Blind Nell
From: GUEST,Lyonesse
Date: 14 Oct 09 - 01:47 PM

The sun shone on the village green it shone on little nell
was she picking blackberries? was she fucking hell!
she was waiting for her lover, the dirty minded bugger
who wasnt fit to shovel shit from one cart to another

he took her to his snow white bed with hands as black as charcoal
but when he pulled her knickers down sparks flew out of her arsehole

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Poor Blind Nell
From: GUEST,Jimbo
Date: 08 Nov 09 - 07:17 PM

The moon shone on the village pump
It also shone on Nell
Was she waiting for her lover
Was she bloody hell

Along came dirty dick,
the captain of a lugger,
he wasn't fit to shovel shit
from one deck to another

He took her to a wayside
which wasn't very lawful
and when he took his trousers down
the stink was bloody awful

He laid her on a barber's bench
His d**k as balck as charcoal
He f*****d till her tits were blue
and sparks flew out her a***hole

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Poor Blind Nell
From: GUEST,tony mossman
Date: 05 Feb 10 - 12:11 PM

there is a version that had a chorus of

"whip her arsehooooooooole, whip her arsehooooollleeee, bull riders whip her bum, her bum, her bum tiddley um pom bum"

i'll get th elyrics from my pal!

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Poor Blind Nell
From: GUEST
Date: 15 Feb 10 - 02:58 AM

You have all got it wrong. In addition to it being an old rugby song, it is also a British Army marching song:

The moon shone over the village green
As did little knell

When down the road came Dirty Dick
The Captain of a Lugger
Who was not fit to shovel shit
From one ship to another

He took her to a wayside Inn
Which was not very lawful.
And when he took his trousers down
The smell was fucking awful

He tied her to a rickety bed
All trussed up like a parcel
And shagged her till her tits went red
And spunk came out her arse hole

~ and it continues~

Arse hole
Arse hole
A soldier I may be

To Piss
To Piss
Two pistols on my knee

Fuck you
Fuck you
For curiosity

So fight for the old cunt
Fight for the old cunt
Fight for the old country.

Subject: Poor Blind Nell (bawdy)
From: GUEST,John
Date: 16 Aug 10 - 03:26 AM

The moon shone on the village green, it also shone on Nell,
Was she waiting for her lover, was she fucking hell.

Along the road the bastard came, his name was Captain Runt,
he wasn't fit to shovel shit, the dirty fucking cunt.

He took her to the village inn, which wasn't very lawful,
ans when he took his trousers down, the smell was fucking awful.

He laid her on a feather bed his balls as black as charcoal,
and in the dark he missed his mark and shoved it up her arsehole.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Poor Blind Nell (bawdy)
From: GUEST,ruairiobroin
Date: 17 Aug 10 - 07:47 AM

The version I heard back when Pontius was a pilot goes

There is a blind girl on our street,
Her name is little Nell,
Can she see the stars above
Can she fucking hell

There is a sailor on our street
He works on borad a lugger
He isn't fit to shovel shit
From one place to another

One day he slept with little Nell
He knew it wasn't lawful
His breath was like a sewage farm
His feet were fucking awful.

And now he's gone across the sea
She sends him food and parcels
She thinks he will return one day
Will he Fuckin Arseholes

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Poor Blind Nell (bawdy)
From: GUEST,MIck
Date: 17 Aug 10 - 10:56 PM

The sun shone on the village pump; It also shone on Nell.
Was she waiting for her lover? Was she fuckin' hell.

Along came captain Dugger, the dirty rotten bugger,
He wasn't fit to shovel shit from one ship to another.

He took Nell to a wayside inn, Which really wasn't lawful,
And when he pulled her knickers down the smell was fuckin' awful.

He laid her on a snow-white bed and lengthened out his bargepole
He shagged her 'til her tits were red and her arse was black as charcoal.
He fucked her 'til her tits were blue and sparks flew out her arsehole.

I thought I'd just add this one.

There was a young man from Buckingham
Who stood on a bridge overlooking 'em
He was watching the stunts of the cunts in the punts
And the tricks of the pricks that were fucking 'em

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Poor Blind Nell (bawdy)
From: GUEST,Gollum
Date: 05 Sep 10 - 06:59 AM

I learnt this one at school in the 60s - some verses might be missing.. . . .

The moon shone on the village green
It shone on little Nell
Was she fetching water?
Was she fuckin hell

She was waiting for her lover
The dirty cross-eyed bugger
Who wasn't fit to shovel shit
From one hole to another

The babe was born on Christmas morn
With eyes as black as charcoal
A slimy dick, ten inches thick
And a double barreled arsehole!

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Poor Blind Nell (bawdy)
From: GUEST
Date: 26 Oct 10 - 12:57 AM

The moon shone on the village pump
And there sat little Nell,
Waiting for her lover boy she knew not bloody hell

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Poor Blind Nell (bawdy)
From: GUEST,hankypank
Date: 09 Jan 11 - 10:41 AM

Here is the defintive version I learnt at School

the moon shone on the village green
it shine on Little Nell
Was she waiting for her lover?
Was she bloody hell!!

Along the road came Dirty Dick
The Captain of a lugger
He wasnt fit to shovel shit
The dirty-minded bugger

he took her to his cabin
Which wasnt very lawful
And when he pulled his trousers down
The stink was bloody awful!

He laid her on his lily-white bed
His knob was black as charcoal
He fucked her til her tits were red
and sparks came down her arse-hole

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Poor Blind Nell (bawdy)
From: GUEST
Date: 22 Sep 11 - 02:27 PM

My father taught me this version , now i am teaching it to vietnamese students in saigon.

The moon shone on the village well it also shone on nell,
was she waiting for her lover was she bloody hell

her lovers name was dirty dick the capitain of a lugger he wasn't fit to shovle shit the dirty little bugger

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Poor Blind Nell (bawdy)
From: GUEST,dusty
Date: 02 Feb 12 - 04:51 PM

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Poor Blind Nell (bawdy)
From: GUEST,peewee
Date: 04 Oct 12 - 05:35 AM

The moon shone on the village pump,
it also shone on Nell.
But was she pumping water?
was she fucking hell.

She was waiting for her lover,
the dirty,one eyed buggar.
who wasn't fit, to shovel shit
from one back street to another.

He took her behind some bushes,
where shagging was unlawful,
and when he pulled her knickers down
the smell was bloody awful.

He rammed it in, He crammed it in,
in fact he fairly slammed it in.

The babe was born, one sunny morn,
its name was Bastard Bill,
but did she get her 7/6d. (37.1/2 pence)
did she fuckin'ell.
       THE END.
Note: This version is from the 1950s. when I was at school.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Poor Blind Nell (bawdy)
From: GUEST
Date: 20 Dec 12 - 06:31 AM

The Moon shone down on the village pump,
It also shone on Nell.
But did she want her lover there?
Did she fuckin' Hell.

When down the street came Dirty Dick,
The skipper of a luger,
He wasn't fit to shovel shit,
The dirty, rotten bugger.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Poor Blind Nell (bawdy)
From: GUEST,Paul Armitage
Date: 01 Jul 13 - 12:08 PM

The Moon shone on the village pump, it shone on Little Nell,
But was she pumping water?
was she fucking hell.

She was waiting for her lover,
A dirty one eyed buggar.
who wasn't fit, to shovel shit
from one cart to another.

He took her to a lonely shack
where shagging was unlawful,
and when he pulled her knickers down
the smell was bloody awful.

He rammed it in, He crammed it in,
in fact he fairly slammed it in.

The babe was born, one Sunday
its name was Bastard Bill,
but did she get her 7/6
did she fuckin'ell.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Poor Blind Nell (bawdy)
From: GUEST,Jem
Date: 08 Nov 13 - 06:10 PM

The moon shone on the village green
It also shone on Nell
Was she waiting for her lover?
Was she bloody hell!

It also shone on dirty Dick
The captain of a lugger
He wasn't fit to shovel shit
The dirty minded bugger!

He took her to wayside Inn
That wasn't very lawful
And when he took his trousers down
The stink was bloody awful

He laid her on a velvet couch
her tits as black as charcoal
he fucked her till her cunt was green
and sparks flew out of her arsehole.

That's all I remember from about 1961/2, although there might have been another verse between 3 and 4.   I was about 12 years old and I heard this from a young lady (yes)who was a pupil at a very exclusive girls' school in Cold Ash, Berkshire. Thanks, Hilary, hope you're reading this!! By the way, my Mum found this in my bedroom and was NOT amused. (I bet she had a good laugh, though.)

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Poor Blind Nell (bawdy)
From: GUEST,Gabz (from my naughty schooldays!)
Date: 13 Feb 14 - 08:34 AM

The moon shone on the village pump,
it shone on Little Nel.
Was she pumping water there?
Was she bloody hell!

She was waiting for her lover,
Dirty Dan Dick Mc Grover.
Who wasn't fit to shovel shit,
From one hole to another!

They can upon a wayside shack,
He knew it was unlawful.
But when he pulled his trousers down,
The smell was bloody awful!

She ran across the village green,
The villain he pursued her.
He caught her up and laid her down,
By golly then he screwed her!

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Poor Blind Nell (bawdy)
From: GUEST,andyinamillion
Date: 05 Nov 14 - 02:04 PM

The moon shone on the village pump,
it also shone on Nell
was she waiting for her lover?
was she fucking hell.

along came dirty Dick
the captain of a lugger
who wasn't fit to shovel shit
from one ship to another.

he took her to a wayside inn
which wasn't very lawful
when he took his trousers off
the smell was fucking awful.

he strapped her to a rusty bed
with sheets as black as charcoal
fucked her till her tits were red
and flames shot out her arsehole.

that's all I remember from boarding school

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Poor Blind Nell (bawdy)
From: GUEST,Ruairiobroin
Date: 20 Nov 14 - 12:01 PM

There is a blind girl on our street
Her name is Little Nell
Can she see the stars above
Can she fucking hell

There is a sailor from our street
What works on board a lugger
He isnt fit to shovel shit
The dirty lousey bugger

One day he slept with Little Nell
He knew it wasnt lawful
His breath was like the sewage farm
His feet were fucking awful

And now hes gone across the sea
She sends him food and parcels
She thinks he will return to her
Will he ... fucking arseholes

Think I got this from the Bawdy Beautiful many years ago

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Poor Blind Nell (bawdy)
From: GUEST
Date: 23 Dec 14 - 08:40 PM

the moon shone on the village pump it also shone on nell,
waiting for her boyfriend to give him fucking hell.
along came the village idiot not fit to shovel shit,
the dirty little bastard he grabbed her by the tits.
he took her to the inn the place was quiet and lawful,
he pulled down her pants and the smell was fucking awful.
he dragged her to the upstairs room the sheets as black
as charcoal,
he fucked her till his cock turned red and sparks came out her
arse hole ....

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Poor Blind Nell (bawdy)
From: GUEST,sir William throb trouser
Date: 22 Mar 15 - 04:15 PM

He took her Nicaraguans down and felt her left gleenog!

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Poor Blind Nell (bawdy)
From: GUEST,Gordon brownarse
Date: 22 Mar 15 - 04:23 PM

Lucy lykes,The Cockwell Inn,Tiller,Herts

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Poor Blind Nell (bawdy)
From: dick greenhaus
Date: 22 Mar 15 - 06:29 PM

tune,anyone?

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Poor Blind Nell (bawdy)
From: Lighter
Date: 22 Mar 15 - 07:53 PM

I'm not aware that there is one. Isn't it just a "recitation"?

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Poor Blind Nell (bawdy)
From: GUEST,Angus
Date: 24 Jul 15 - 12:13 PM

The moon shone on the village pump, It also shone on Nell
Was she waiting for her lover was she bloody Hell.
A long the road came dirty Dick the captain of a lugger
He wasn't fit to shovel shit the dirty low down bugger.
He took her to the village inn for purposes unlawful
And when he took his trousers down the smell was fucking awful.
He laid her on the creaky bed the sheets were black as chacoal
And fucked her till her tits turned blue and sparks flew out her arsehole

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Poor Blind Nell (bawdy)
From: Snuffy
Date: 24 Jul 15 - 01:52 PM

Now what the actual tune may be, why, that I cannot say, sir
But if the choice were left to me, 't would be 'The Vicar of Bray', Sir.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Poor Blind Nell (bawdy)
From: GUEST,BJ
Date: 10 Oct 15 - 04:43 PM

The moon shone on the village green.
It shone on little Neil.
Was she picking flowers,
Was she funking he'll.
She was waiting for her lover, a squint eyed little bugger.
Who wasn't fit to shovel suit from one cart to another.
He ducked her till her tips were blue, his dick as black as charcoal.
But in the dark he missed his mark and shoved it up her arsehole .

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Poor Blind Nell (bawdy)
From: GUEST
Date: 11 Jul 22 - 06:40 PM

I read it years ago and remember it as

She was waiting for her lover
A two faced fishy fcuker
Who took her to the village green and stripped her of her knickers

He lay her on the village green
Which wasn't very lawful etc etc