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'Simply Human' by CapriUni -- chorus question?

CapriUni 24 Sep 08 - 02:41 PM
artbrooks 24 Sep 08 - 09:30 PM
CapriUni 24 Sep 08 - 10:36 PM
maeve 24 Sep 08 - 11:20 PM
CapriUni 24 Sep 08 - 11:40 PM
katlaughing 25 Sep 08 - 12:05 AM
CapriUni 25 Sep 08 - 02:00 AM
Leadfingers 25 Sep 08 - 11:13 AM
CapriUni 25 Sep 08 - 12:21 PM
artbrooks 25 Sep 08 - 12:40 PM
CapriUni 25 Sep 08 - 02:27 PM
CapriUni 04 Oct 08 - 04:43 PM
CapriUni 03 Mar 12 - 10:38 PM
CapriUni 16 Mar 12 - 06:11 PM
YorkshireYankee 16 Mar 12 - 08:40 PM
Paul Burke 16 Mar 12 - 08:49 PM
CapriUni 16 Mar 12 - 11:58 PM
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Subject: 'Simply Human' by CapriUni -- chorus qu?
From: CapriUni
Date: 24 Sep 08 - 02:41 PM

This is a song I finished (mostly) on Sept. 1. As I've been singing it to myself, however, I'm wondering about the chorus. As it is, I both open the song with it. But that's basically because that's what came to my head, first.

But would it be stronger if I opened with "There but for the Grace of God" instead?

SIMPLY HUMAN (Working Title)

Chorus:

You tell me that I'm "Special,"
And then, you look away.
You call me "Inspirational,"
But you don't hear what I say.
Well, I won't be your metaphor
For Grace, or lack of Grace,
'Cause I am simply human,
In this complex human race.


"There but for the Grace of God."
You say it to be kind.
But do you really think, my friend,
That God's left me behind?
It's true my body does not work
The same as many folks'.
But my life is (mostly) happy,
And my heart is far from broke.

(Chorus)

There are things that I wish for,
But walking is not one.
I would like equal access
To my place out in the sun.
And I would like the freedom
To choose where I may live.
And I'd like you to accept the gifts
I know I have to give.

(Chorus)

Yes, I am brave (on some days).
I am a coward, too.
I can be kind, or greedy.
I am human, just like you.
And now, I hope you'll think about
This simple little fact:
That we each have strengths we're given,
And we all have things we lack.

(Chorus)



To get your computer to play this, copy the emboldened code below, and paste it into the text window at Concertina.net's ABC Convert-A-Matic (might be easier to right-click, to open in a new window) and click [submit]. This will lead you to another page with the link "Midi Music File;" click that, and your computer should play this tune for you automatically. If it doesn't, you might want to try turning off any pop-up blockers.


X:1
T: Simply Human
C: Ann Magill (CapriUni)                
Q:1/4=135
M:4/4
K:C
z7 C|C3 F F2 G2|F4 E4|
F G2 A G2 F2|G6 G2|c2 B2 A3 B|
c2 A2 G2 G F|F2 E2 F2 E2|D4 z2 E2|
G2 F2 E3 F|G3 F D2 D2|E3 A G3 F|
G4 z G A2|G2 F2 F2 E2|D2 D2 E F3|
E2 D2 D2 C2|-C4 z4|C2 F2 F2 E2|
D3 E F4|F G2 A G2 F2|G6 F2|
E2 E2 D3 E|F2 E D3 D E2|F E2 D C4|
z2 E2 G2 F2|E3 F G3 F|D2 D2 E3 A|
G3 F G4|G G A2 G2 F2|F2 E2 D2 D2|
E F3 E2 D2|D2 C6|]

And, so you know where this song is coming from: Just for the Record, I Have Cerebral Palsy.


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Subject: RE: 'Simply Human' by CapriUni -- chorus qu?
From: artbrooks
Date: 24 Sep 08 - 09:30 PM

Start with the verse - that way the chorus is immediately understandable. Otherwise, it is kinda hanging there.


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Subject: RE: 'Simply Human' by CapriUni -- chorus qu?
From: CapriUni
Date: 24 Sep 08 - 10:36 PM

Okie doke. Thanks, Art.

Seeing it from the inside, it was kind of hard to tell whether the chorus explains the verse, or the verse explains the chorus. ... One of those: "Can't really know what others take for granted."

In the "Disability Community" "Special" is a trigger word that's a short-cut term for patronizing attitudes.


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Subject: RE: 'Simply Human' by CapriUni -- chorus qu?
From: maeve
Date: 24 Sep 08 - 11:20 PM

I agree. Verse first makes it strong and interesting. I like it even more today than I did when I first read it.

maeve


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Subject: RE: 'Simply Human' by CapriUni -- chorus qu?
From: CapriUni
Date: 24 Sep 08 - 11:40 PM

Thanks for your imput -- and compliment, Maeve!

And I just now noticed that the blickie I tried to include in the first post didn't come through.

So I'm trying again:

Just so you know: I have cerebral palsy


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Subject: RE: 'Simply Human' by CapriUni -- chorus question?
From: katlaughing
Date: 25 Sep 08 - 12:05 AM

I fixed your clickie before I saw your correction.:-)

I was all set to say start with the chorus, but after reading art and maeve's comments, I think it is best to start with the verse, too. I knew what "Special" meant, though I don't know if most people would know it, in that context.

It is a very powerful and poignantly put song, CU. Right up there with all of your other incredible songs, though even more so knowing where it comes from. Thanks for sharing it with us.

luvyakat


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Subject: RE: 'Simply Human' by CapriUni -- chorus question?
From: CapriUni
Date: 25 Sep 08 - 02:00 AM

Thanks, Kat -- for your comments and for fixing the link (um, redundancy is good, yes)?

I was looking back at old Mudcat threads as I was writing this, and it I found the first inkling of this song way back on February 28, 2003.

Some are just longer in coming than others, I guess...


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Subject: RE: 'Simply Human' by CapriUni -- chorus question?
From: Leadfingers
Date: 25 Sep 08 - 11:13 AM

I agree Verse First Ann ! Though IF you are singing this with an 'audence tell them the chorus to give them a chance to pick it up and join in .


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Subject: RE: 'Simply Human' by CapriUni -- chorus question?
From: CapriUni
Date: 25 Sep 08 - 12:21 PM

Leadfingers:

Good point.

Maybe, also, singing the chorus twice at the end?


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Subject: RE: 'Simply Human' by CapriUni -- chorus question?
From: artbrooks
Date: 25 Sep 08 - 12:40 PM

I was also thinking about a repeat chorus - maybe at a slightly slower tempo?


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Subject: RE: 'Simply Human' by CapriUni -- chorus question?
From: CapriUni
Date: 25 Sep 08 - 02:27 PM

Art --

I was thinking about that, and exactly how I would teach the chorus to an audience, and encourage them to join in.

It's a relatively long, complex, chorus. And most of it is specific to my (or any disabled singer's) P.O.V. However, 'Cause I am simply human, in this complex human race is universal to everybody in the room.

So I think that is the one line I would recite for them, as I start, and encourage them to join in, rousingly, on the chorus. Perhaps using that one line, with a variation on the melody, as a coda to the song?


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Subject: RE: 'Simply Human' by CapriUni -- chorus question?
From: CapriUni
Date: 04 Oct 08 - 04:43 PM

Regarding my last post:

How's this for a one-line coda to the song?

X:1
T:Simply Human (coda)
C:CapriUni
Q:1/4=135
M:4/4
K:C
z E G2 F2 E2|E2 D2 C2 EE|F3 D2 E2 D|-D C6 z|]
w:Yes, I am sim|ply hu-man, in this|com-plex hu|-man race.


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Subject: RE: 'Simply Human' by CapriUni -- chorus question?
From: CapriUni
Date: 03 Mar 12 - 10:38 PM

I've been in a "protest song" state of mind this week, and so this one has popped back into my head today.

Truth be told, the second and third verses have always left me feeling slightly ill at ease. They both, to my ear, had a tone that was heavy on the sentimentality, and thus ran counter to my intended message.

So I've just spent my evening rewriting both of them.

Second verse:

I would like to have you know --
I'm happy as I am.
I just want all the rights
Expected by the common man:
The right to learn, the right to work
To travel as I please.
For the right to live the life I choose
Is not your charity.

---
Third verse:

I am brave (some of the time)
I am a coward, too.
I can be kind or greedy;
I am human, just like you.
Don't put me on a pedestal
And leave me stuck up there
Because every human being
has a unique gift to share.

...

And now, I come back to the (or another) chorus question:

Should I change it around a bit, to close it on a different mood?

::Mulls this::


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Subject: RE: 'Simply Human' by CapriUni -- chorus question?
From: CapriUni
Date: 16 Mar 12 - 06:11 PM

I made a new video of this song yesterday, using Windows Movie Maker's "animated title" feature for the lyrics.

Here's a link: Simply Human (redux)

Here are the new lyrics:

"There, but for the Grace of God."
You say it to be kind,
But do you really think, My Friend,
That God's left me behind?
It's true: my body does not work
The same as many folks'.
But my life is (mostly) happy.
And my heart is far from broke

Chorus:
You tell me that I'm "Special"
But then, you look away.
You call me "Inspirational,"
Then ignore the things I say.
Well, I won't be your metaphor
For Grace (or lack of Grace)
'Cause I am simply human
In this complex Human Race.

I would like to have you know
I'm happy as I am.
I just want all the rights expected
By the Common Man:
The right to learn, the right to work
And travel as I please.
The right to live the life I choose
Is not for charity.

(Chorus)

Yes, I'm brave (some of the time);
I am a coward, too.
I can be kind (or greedy) --
I am Human, just like you.
Don't put me on that pedestal,
And leave me stuck up there.
'Cause every Human Being
Has their Unique Gift to share.

Final chorus:
Don't tell me that I'm "Special"
Before you turn away.
Don't call me "Inspirational"
'Till you know the things I say.
Use No One as a metaphor
In any time or place.
'Cause we're all just Simply Human
In this Complex Human Race.

... Yes, we're all just Simply Human
In this Complex Human Race.


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Subject: RE: 'Simply Human' by CapriUni -- chorus question?
From: YorkshireYankee
Date: 16 Mar 12 - 08:40 PM

I like the changes you've made to your song (and to the final chorus), and I like the video you've put together --
very effective use of animated titles (and I'm picky, 'cos I'm a graphic designer!).

Well done!


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Subject: RE: 'Simply Human' by CapriUni -- chorus question?
From: Paul Burke
Date: 16 Mar 12 - 08:49 PM

CapriUni:

Just brilliant.


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Subject: RE: 'Simply Human' by CapriUni -- chorus question?
From: CapriUni
Date: 16 Mar 12 - 11:58 PM

Yorkshire Yankee --

I like the changes you've made to your song (and to the final chorus)

Thanks. Yeah, the first incarnations of the second and third verses bothered me even as I wrote them the first time 'round. Their undertone was precisely the sort of pity-laden treacle I'm protesting. Likewise with the final chorus; I needed a way to get past the "Us vs. Them" dynamic of What You Do With What You Got.

I'm picky, 'cos I'm a graphic designer!

Ooh! *preen* A compliment from Someone who Knows.

Paul Burke --

Thank you Kindly, Sir.


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