Not Last Night But The Night Before-rhyme

Subject: Re: Not Last Night But The Night Before-rhyme
From: GUEST,Peanut Queen
Date: 01 Sep 20 - 08:10 AM

Last night and the night before, an onion and a pickle came knocking on my door.
I got up to let them in, they hit me in the head with a bowling pin
One went east, one went west, one went up your mama's dress.
Now your mama's gonna have a baby, a little chocolate baby.
If it's a boy give it a toy, if it's a girl give it a curl.
Wrap it up in toilet paper, send it up the elevator.
First floor stop, Second floor stop, Third floor you better not stop 'cuz h-o-p spells HOP.

Subject: RE: Not Last Night But The Night Before-rhyme
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 01 Sep 20 - 11:45 AM

We used to sing the innocent versions of this on the playground. But that last one would get a child sent home for inappropriate language, as would a number of the others I remember learning back in the late 50s, early 60s.

This one offers a segue over to the topic about Are racist, but traditional, songs OK?.

Subject: RE: Not Last Night But The Night Before-rhyme
From: GUEST,Some dude I guess
Date: 02 Sep 20 - 04:26 PM

Gotta say I'm a bit embarrassed about this one. Grew up in a hick town and learned the racial version before I really understood why it was more than just "more bad words". Anyway, for posterity:

Not last night, but the night before
400 niggers came a'knocking at my door
Went upstairs to get my gun
Tripped over the piss-pot, on the run
I couldn't swim, I couldn't float
A big old' turd went down my throat
Went downstairs to fix a martini
Tripped over the stove and I burnt my weenie
Went outside to cool it off
And one of those niggers bit it off

(sounds like a pretty shit evening)

Subject: RE: Not Last Night But The Night Before-rhyme
From: GUEST
Date: 24 Dec 20 - 08:03 AM

Not last night, but the night before,
Three tom cats came knocking at my door.
One had a trumpet.
One had a drum.
One had a pancake stuck to his bum.

Subject: RE: Not Last Night But The Night Before-rhyme
From: GUEST,BozMonsterCookie
Date: 28 Jul 21 - 12:43 AM

Not last night but the night before,
24 robbers came knocking at my door.
I rushed downstairs but they got in ...
they hit me over the head with a rolling pin.

Later when I woke still feeling groggy,
Everything was gone, even my little doggy.
Had to lie down so I found my bed,
tripped on the piss pot, it landed on my head.

That turd wouldn't sink, didn't even float,
instead that bloody turd went down my throat.

I stumbled to the bathroom to get some toilet paper,
trailing puke and its hot-sick vapour.
Started feeling better got up a little later
slipped and burned my balls, on the radiator.

Stuck em' out the window to cool them off,
down came the window and chopped them off.
So I went outside to pick them up,
along came my doggy and ate them ... ruff!

Subject: RE: Not Last Night But The Night Before-rhyme
From: GUEST
Date: 10 Dec 21 - 02:02 AM

Not last night, but the night before,
Two tom cats came knocking on my door,
I went down stairs to let them in,
Hit me on with a rolling pin,
Now the rolling pin was made of glass,
Picked me up and smacked my,
Ask no questions tell no lies,
ever seen a donkey doing up his fly’s,
Fly’s are e newsents bugs are worst,
This is the end of my chinease verse.
Ching cong china man baught a penny doll,
Washed it dressed it then it caught a cold,
Called the docter,
The docter could’nt come,
All because of a speckle on my BUM BUM BUM.

Subject: RE: Not Last Night But The Night Before-rhyme
From: GUEST
Date: 17 Feb 22 - 03:32 PM

Not tonight but the night before
27 niggers came knocking at my door
went up stairs to get my gun
fell in the toilet on the run
went downstairs to get a drink
racked my balls on the kitchen sink
went outside to cool them off
a great big nigger bit them off

Subject: RE: Not Last Night But The Night Before-rhyme
From: Bonnie Shaljean
Date: 17 Feb 22 - 05:24 PM

I remember this from the school playground, as a jump-rope rhyme. Did anybody else sing a bit that went:

One for the doctor
One for the nurse
One for the lady with the alligator purse

And if so, what were the verses that led up to it? I'm racking my brain cell, with no noticeable results.

Subject: RE: Not Last Night But The Night Before-rhyme
From: GUEST
Date: 24 Aug 22 - 04:55 PM

From elementary school, mid 60's S.A.Texas. Girls would jump rope and chant:

Not last night but the night before,
24 robbers were knocking at my door.

I asked them what they wanted
and this is what they said...

Spanish dancers, do the splits,
Spanish dancers, do it like this.....


That's all I remember.

Subject: RE: Not Last Night But The Night Before-rhyme
From: Lighter
Date: 25 Aug 22 - 10:40 AM

Recited by a fellow grad student fom North Carolina in 1974:

Not last night but the night before,
Twenty-four robbers came knockin' at my door.
Went upstairs to get my gun,
Fell in the pisspot on the run.

He made it sound like a real experience.

Subject: RE: Not Last Night But The Night Before-rhyme
From: GUEST,Arthur
Date: 10 May 23 - 12:15 AM

In SE Wisconsin we sang,

"Not last night but the night before, 24 niggers came knocking at my door.
Went upstairs to get a gun, god damn niggers beat me on the run
Went downstairs to get a drink, skuzzed my dick on the kitchen sink.
Went outside to cool it off,
One of those niggers bit it off"

I never understood what "skuzzed" meant, But then, as kids we were never really interpreting these words. We had no ill will towards black people. In fact, we would sing the same rhyme if a black could join us for the game, and we would just all laugh about it.

Subject: RE: Not Last Night But The Night Before-rhyme
From: GUEST
Date: 09 Feb 24 - 11:44 PM

Not last night but the night before, 24 robber came knocking at my door. Went upstairs to get my gun, tripped over the piss pot on the run. Couldn’t swim, couldn’t float, god damn bugger went down my throat. Went downstairs to get a drink, tripped over the oven and burned my dink. Went out side to cool it off, some damn bugger pulled it off.

Subject: RE: Not Last Night But The Night Before-rhyme
From: GUEST,och aye the noo
Date: 11 Feb 24 - 06:22 PM

Not last night but the night before
three wee monkeys came to my door
one had a fiddle, one had a drum
and one had a pancake stuck to his bum