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1950s novelty songs

Jim Dixon 05 Sep 16 - 10:37 PM
Jim Dixon 01 Sep 16 - 10:59 AM
Jim Dixon 31 Aug 16 - 01:07 AM
Jim Dixon 30 Aug 16 - 11:42 PM
Jim Dixon 30 Aug 16 - 10:53 PM
Jim Dixon 29 Aug 16 - 11:26 PM
Jim Dixon 29 Aug 16 - 02:13 PM
eftifino 29 Aug 16 - 12:59 AM
Jim Dixon 29 Aug 16 - 12:30 AM
Jim Dixon 26 Aug 16 - 10:02 PM
Jim Dixon 26 Aug 16 - 08:52 PM
leeneia 25 Aug 16 - 10:25 AM
leeneia 25 Aug 16 - 10:14 AM
JennieG 25 Aug 16 - 01:23 AM
leeneia 25 Aug 16 - 12:21 AM
Jim Dixon 24 Aug 16 - 02:52 PM
JennieG 24 Aug 16 - 02:28 AM
Jim Dixon 24 Aug 16 - 01:41 AM
mkebenn 23 Aug 16 - 08:01 AM
Jim Dixon 23 Aug 16 - 12:57 AM
Joe_F 22 Aug 16 - 08:27 PM
Jim Dixon 22 Aug 16 - 08:11 PM
Jim Dixon 22 Aug 16 - 07:31 PM
Jim Dixon 22 Aug 16 - 05:15 PM
GUEST 22 Aug 16 - 01:56 AM
GUEST,Senoufou 21 Aug 16 - 04:28 AM
LadyJean 20 Aug 16 - 09:30 PM
Jim Dixon 20 Aug 16 - 08:07 AM
Jim Dixon 20 Aug 16 - 01:13 AM
Jim Dixon 09 Aug 16 - 12:55 AM
Jim Dixon 06 Aug 16 - 09:56 PM
clueless don 05 Aug 16 - 09:05 AM
mkebenn 05 Aug 16 - 08:26 AM
mike gouthro 04 Aug 16 - 06:52 PM
Senoufou 04 Aug 16 - 06:36 PM
Jim Dixon 04 Aug 16 - 02:47 PM
GUEST, DTM 04 Aug 16 - 02:00 PM
Fred Maslan 04 Aug 16 - 10:20 AM
Jim Dixon 04 Aug 16 - 01:24 AM
GUEST,guest:oregon 05 Jun 16 - 05:20 AM
GUEST,Kevin b 10 Apr 14 - 12:48 PM
NightWing 28 Jan 12 - 01:48 AM
GUEST,nikinez 27 Jan 12 - 05:48 PM
Greg B 24 Jan 12 - 02:04 PM
dick greenhaus 19 Jun 11 - 11:20 PM
GUEST 19 Jun 11 - 06:09 PM
The other Hank 16 Jun 11 - 12:23 PM
reynard 16 Jun 11 - 09:06 AM
clueless don 16 Jun 11 - 08:43 AM
GUEST,margie0507 15 Jun 11 - 11:01 AM
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Subject: Lyr Add: OH WHAT A FACE (Sticks McGhee)
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 05 Sep 16 - 10:37 PM

This was first mentioned by kendall on 20-Oct-2008:


OH WHAT A FACE
As recorded by Sticks McGhee, 1951.

1. He carries her picture in his pocket.
It was taken the day he went to sea.
He carries her picture in his locket,
Though she is as ugly can be.

CHORUS: Oh, what a face! (Oh, what a face!)
It's a disgrace (it's a disgrace)
To be showin' it in any public place.

2. One mornin' he took her to a pig farm.
He told her to wait down by the rail,
But when he returned he couldn't find her.
The farmer had put her up for sale. CHORUS

3. A tragedy occurred when she got married.
A bridal veil her face did fully hide.
She lifted it to kiss her lovin' husband.
He screamed and committed suicide. CHORUS


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Subject: Lyr Add: T'AIN'T NICE (Bill Carlisle)
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 01 Sep 16 - 10:59 AM

This was quoted by Kevin b on 10 April 2014:


T'AIN'T NICE (TO TALK LIKE THAT)
Written by Bill CarlisLe and Charlie & Ira Louvin.
As recorded by Bill Carlisle, 1953.

1. Now I'm your coffee and I'm your tea.
You better save all your sugar for me.
You better watch who you give your lovin' to,
'Cause I'm plumb popeyed over you.

CHORUS-1: [Woman:] You know it ain't nice to talk like that.
[Man:] Yeah, I know it ain't nice to talk like that,
But I'm hog wild and that's my style,
And I get a kick out o' talkin' like that.

2. Ever' time I see you walkin' down the street,
My heart does a hootchie-kootchie and skips a beat.
You're my cute little sugar plum,
And I'm a-gonna squeeze till the cows come home. CHORUS-1

CHORUS-2: [Both:] Now, we know it ain't nice to talk like that,
But we're gonna keep on a-talkin' like that,
'Cause we're hog wild and that's our style,
And we get a kick out o' talkin' like that.

3. If you'll be my little lovin' hugger,
I'll be your little sugar burger.
I love you, my little koochie-koo.
I'm gonna squeeze the fool out o' you. CHORUS-1

4. I'm a-fishin' for you, baby, with the right kind o' bait,
And I'm a-gonna catch you if my line don't break.
It's me for you and you for me.
I'm a-gonna squeeze you till you holler "Whoopee!" CHORUS-1, CHORUS-2


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Subject: Lyr Add: LUKE THE SPOOK (Sheb Wooley)
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 31 Aug 16 - 01:07 AM

Also mentioned by fumblefingers:


LUKE THE SPOOK
As recorded by Sheb Wooley, 1960.

Who's always first to make the scene?
Wears tennis shoes and old blue jeans?
Who chases all the girls around?
Who is the coolest cat in town?
Charlie Brown? Not that clown.
Well then who? Luke the spook.

Luke, Luke, Luke, Luke the spook!
Spook, spook, spook, spooky Luke!
He's got all the funny ways.
Still, he's got ev'ry girl in school goin' crazy.
(And still he's got ev'ry girl in school goin' crazy.)

Who's always strollin' at the hop?
Who wears his hair just like a mop?
Who's always gettin' in a fix
With all his jokin' and his tricks?
Tall Paul? Not at all.
Well then who? Luke the spook.

Luke, Luke, Luke, Luke the spook!
Spook, spook, spook, spooky Luke!
He likes to pass the time away
Standing on the corner watchin' all the girlies.
(Standing on the corner watchin' all the girlies.)

Who likes to cuddle in the car?
Who knows where all the parties are?
Who drives a hopped-up model A?
Who ditches school 'most ev'ry day?
Leroy? Not that boy.
Well then who? Luke the spook.


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Subject: Lyr Add: NO HELP WANTED (Catlett, Ball, Carlisle)
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 30 Aug 16 - 11:42 PM

Also mentioned by fumblefingers:


NO HELP WANTED, a.k.a. YOU'LL NEED MY HELP
Words by Betty Jo Catlett & Noel Ball, music by Bill Carlisle.
As recorded by The Carlisles, 1952.

1. Now I've got a gal from New Orleans,
Cutest little thing that you ever have seen.
She got a cute little walk with a hippity-hop,
Big at the little and bottom at the top. [sic]

CHORUS: "Do you need any help?" "Huh-uh, no help wanted."
"You could use a little help." "No, no, no help wanted."
"Just call on me if you need any help.
Do you need any help? Do you need any help?"
"No, I can handle this job all by myself."

2. Now she calls me her little piggly-wiggly.
I call her my little thingamajiggy.
When I ask her for a kiss,
…voice sounds something like this: CHORUS

3. Now I love my baby; she's a little bitty booger,
Cute as a button and sweet as sugar.
I'm a-gonna buy her a diamond ring.
We'll get married in the spring. CHORUS

4. Now I'm a-gonna take her honky-tonkin' tonight.
We're gonna do ever'thing up right.
When the music starts to swing and sway,
We'll dance till the break of day. CHORUS


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Subject: Lyr Add: IS ZAT YOU MYRTLE? (Carlisle, Louvin)
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 30 Aug 16 - 10:53 PM

Also mentioned by fumblefingers:


IS ZAT YOU MYRTLE?
Written by Bill Carlisle, Charlie Lovin, and Ira Louvin.
As recorded by Bill Carlisle, 1953.

CHORUS: "Is zat you, Myrtle?" "Did I hear Papa?"
"Is zat you, Myrtle?" "Just a minute!"
Is zat you, Myrtle? Is zat you, Myrtle?
I guess you better send that scalawag home.
(I guess you better send that scalawag home.)

1. I took my gal to the picture show.
She promised me a kiss when we got home.
My heart was a-drummin' an' I couldn't hardly wait
To get her in my arms, but her daddy was awake. CHORUS

2. One night we was settin' in the old porch swing.
I tell you it was the squeekin'est thing.
Ever' time I tried to move in close,
I could hear them big feet hit the floor. CHORUS

3. I figured out a plan all of my own.
We pulled off our shoes about a mile from home.
Soon as we turned in off o' the street,
B'lieve to my soul he heard the patter of our feet. CHORUS


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Subject: Lyr Add: WHAT KINDA DEAL IS THIS (Bill Carlisle)
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 29 Aug 16 - 11:26 PM

Mentioned by fumblefingers on 11 Aug 2010:


WHAT KINDA DEAL IS THIS
Written by Wayne C. Gilbreath.
As recorded by Bill Carlisle, 1965.

Now me an' Liz was on our first date.
We was a-settin' at this red light a-havin' to wait,
'N' this ol' boy walked up with a big possum grin,
An' he just opened the car door an' crawled right in,
An' I thought, what kinda deal is this?

You know, the thing that was a-gettin' me the most
Was the way this ol' boy seemed to feel his oats.
Man, he was really getting under my skin,
A-settin' over there with that big stupid grin,
And I thought, what kinda deal is this?

I got to wonderin' about this friend o' Liz,
But I figgered in a minute she'll tell me who he is,
But as we drove along I thought, man, oh, man,
'Cause me an' him an' Liz was all three a-holdin' hands,
And I thought, what kinda deal is this?

I ain't too smart, but I could still see
This whole deal looked all fouled up to me,
So I thought I'd better stop it; man, it's goin' too fur,
'Cause she was a-huggin' me an' he was a-huggin' her.
I thought, what kinda deal is this?

Well, I knew it wadn't right, but what could I say?
I thought I'd just kinda let it go along that-a-way,
But purty soon I seen I was out on a limb.
I couldn't kiss her without kissin' him,
An' man, I thought, what kinda deal is this?

So I stopped the car an' I said: "Looka here, Liz.
You'd better tell me who this guy is."
She said: "I don't know him! I thought he was your friend."
I said: "Well, if you don't know 'im, what's he doin' here then?"
I thought, what kinda deal is this?

So I grabbed 'im by the collar an' I jerked him out o' the car.
I said: "Buddy, I ain't never seen nobody like you are.
How come you pull these kind o' jokes?"
He said: "Well, sometime it works; sometime it don't."
An' I thought, what kinda deal is this?

Well, I drew back my fist to hit 'im in the face.
He broke a-loose an' outrun a snake.
So now here I stand just a-lookin' at Liz,
An' both of us are wonderin' who this guy is.
Now what kinda deal do you think this is?

If you find out, I wish you'd let me know. Man, it's tore me up like a sow's bed. You ain't never been tore up till you been tore up like a sow's bed. You'll know what I mean then. FADE.


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Subject: Lyr Add: BABY SITTIN' BOOGIE (Buzz Clifford)
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 29 Aug 16 - 02:13 PM

Mentioned by mousethief on 27 Jun 2010:


BABY SITTIN' BOOGIE
Words and music by Johnny Parker, 1960.
As recorded by Buzz Clifford, 1961.

My girl babysits for someone on her block;
Then I come up to join her and we start to rock.
The baby hears the beat an' man, it is a shock
When he goes: [baby-talk gibberish]

A rockin' type o' boogie is the kind o' song
That makes this little baby want'o sing along,
And though he maybe gets the tune a little wrong,
He still goes: [baby-talk gibberish]

He isn't too young to really feel the beat.
He rocks back an' forth in his little seat.
He claps both his hands an' he taps his feet,
And he sings: [baby-talk gibberish]

He is a holly-dory(?) bouncin' baby boy.
You know the record player is his fav'rite toy,
And don't forget he's ev'rybody's pride an' joy
When he goes: [baby-talk gibberish starting "ooh, ah!"]

I know there isn't anyone to take the bet,
But surely he's the youngest teenager yet,
And probably the hippest of the diaper set,
As he goes: [baby-talk gibberish resembling: "Go man! I like that!"]

He strolls in his stroller with the radio on.
He doesn't go to sleep until the music's gone.
He imitates the singer in the group
With the low-down voice: [baby-talk gibberish]

And when it's time to tuck him in his little bed,
With all that music runnin' through his sleepy head,
The little fella doesn't say goodnight; instead,
He says: [baby-talk gibberish starting "booga-booga-booga..."]


[The gibberish in this song sounds like it was genuinely recorded from a baby. Sometimes the baby seems to be trying to imitate actual words, but it's hard to make them out.]


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Subject: RE: 1950s novelty songs
From: eftifino
Date: 29 Aug 16 - 12:59 AM

Don't know if anyone mentioned the Goon's Songs:

"I'm Walking Backwards for Christmas"

"You gotta go OWWWWWW"

"Ying Tong"


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Subject: Lyr Add: YOU'RE A PINK TOOTHBRUSH (Max Bygraves)
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 29 Aug 16 - 12:30 AM

Little Robyn mentioned this first on 20 Oct 2008, then a couple more people did.


YOU'RE A PINK TOOTHBRUSH
As recorded by Max Bygraves, 1953.

My mummy bought a toothbrush; it was a lovely pink,
And when it looked across at dad's, I'm sure I saw it wink.
That night I had a funny dream while fast asleep in bed.
Two toothbrushes were holding hands, and this is what they said:

You're a pink toothbrush; I'm a blue toothbrush.
Have we met somewhere before?
You're a pink toothbrush, and I think, toothbrush,
That we met by the bathroom door.

Glad to meet, toothbrush; such a sweet toothbrush!
How you thrill me through and through!
Don't be hard, toothbrush; I'm a soft toothbrush,
'Cause I can't help loving you,

Ev'ry time I hear you whistle, [whistling]
It makes my nylon bristle. [whistling]

You're a pink toothbrush; I'm a blue toothbrush.
Won't you marry me in haste?
I'll be true, toothbrush, just to you, toothbrush,
When we both use the same toothpaste.

[Repeat from "Ev'ry time...." to end.]


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Subject: Lyr Add: THEY'RE COMING TO TAKE ME AWAY, HA-HAAA!
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 26 Aug 16 - 10:02 PM

This was first mentioned by Dave Hanson on 21 Oct 2008, and then mentioned again by several others. With that kind of demand, I have to transcribe it, right? But again, people looking for 50's songs have missed the mark by a few years.


THEY'RE COMING TO TAKE ME AWAY, HA-HAAA!
As recorded by Napoleon XIV [=Jerry Samuels], 1966.

1. Remember when you ran away and I got on my knees and begged
    you not to leave because I'd go berserk?
Well—
You left me anyhow, and then the days got worse and worse and now
    you see I've gone completely out of my mind,
Then—
They're coming to take me away, ha-ha!
They're coming to take me away, ho-ho, hee-hee, ha-ha!
To the funny farm where life is beautiful all the time,
    and I'll be happy to see those nice young men in their clean white coats,
And they're coming to take me away, ha-haaa!

2. You thought it was a joke and so you laughed; you laughed when I had said
    that losing you would make me flip my lid.
Right?
You know you laughed; I heard you laugh; you laughed; you laughed and laughed and then
    you left, but now you know I'm utterly mad—
And—
They're coming to take me away, ha-ha!
They're coming to take me away, ho-ho, hee-hee, ha-ha!
To the happy home with trees and flowers and chirping birds
    and basket weavers who sit and smile and twiddle their thumbs and toes,
And they're coming to take me away, ha-haaa!

3. I cooked your food; I cleaned your house and this is how you pay me back
    for all my kind unselfish loving deeds,
Huh?
Well you just wait; they'll find you yet, and when they do, they'll put you in
    the A.S.P.C.A., you mangy mutt!
And—
They're coming to take me away, ha-ha!
They're coming to take me away, ho-ho, hee-hee, ha-ha!
To the funny farm where life is beautiful all the time,
    and I'll be happy to see those nice young men in their clean white coats,
And they're coming to take me away, ha-ha!
To the happy home with trees and flowers and chirping birds
    and basket weavers who sit and smile and twiddle their thumbs and toes,
And they're coming to take me away, ha-ha!
To the funny farm....[etc. FADE.]


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Subject: Lyr Add: DIVORCE ME C.O.D. (Merle Travis)
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 26 Aug 16 - 08:52 PM

Bankley mentioned this on 25 Jan 2009, but he missed the mark by a few years. It's a clever song, though.


DIVORCE ME C.O.D.
Written by Merle Travis & Cliffie Stone.
As recorded by Merle Travis, 1946.

I just bought me a great long ticket I'm gonna use at four p.m.
So you can call your secret love and tell the news to him.

You thought your little romance was on the strict Q.T.
If you want your freedom P.D.Q., divorce me C.O.D.

I won't be around
To hear you cry.
I'm Texas bound,
And by and by—

You can reach me down in Dallas, general delivery.
So if you want your freedom P.D.Q., divorce me C.O.D.

[instrumental break]

Now there's gonna come a day, gal, when you'll be feelin' blue.
You're gonna find that you can't pay your bills with a little ol' I.O.U.

This dynamite that you're a-messin' with may be T.N.T.
So if you want your freedom P.D.Q., divorce me C.O.D.

When the winter comes,
I hope you freeze
While I twiddle my thumbs,
Layin' around in my B.V.D.'s.

Well, now, I ain't no college p'fessor; I ain't got no Ph.D.
But if you want your freedom P.D.Q., divorce me C.O.D.


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Subject: RE: 1950s novelty songs
From: leeneia
Date: 25 Aug 16 - 10:25 AM

"Swinging shepherd blues" was composed and recorded by Moe Koffman of Canada. He doesn't seem to have a connection with the tune with flute and horse's hoof sound. Here's what Wikipedia has to say about Moe:


"During a career spanning from the 1950s to the 2000s, Koffman was one of Canada's most prolific musicians, working variously in clubs and sessions. With his 1957 record 'Hot and Cool Saxophone' on the New York-based Jubilee label, Koffman became one of the first Canadian jazz musicians to record a full-length album."

You can find SSB on YouTube.


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Subject: RE: 1950s novelty songs
From: leeneia
Date: 25 Aug 16 - 10:14 AM

I remember "Swinging shepherd blues" too, now that you mention it, Jennie. Thanks!

The tune with the horse sound was major. SSB was bluesy.


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Subject: RE: 1950s novelty songs
From: JennieG
Date: 25 Aug 16 - 01:23 AM

I can remember "Swinging shepherd blues" - I think that was on flute? Don't remember the horses though.


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Subject: RE: 1950s novelty songs
From: leeneia
Date: 25 Aug 16 - 12:21 AM

Does anybody remember the name of a charming instrumental piece that featured a melody on a flute accompanied by the sound of a horse's hooves? Would have been 1950's or early '60's.

I'm pretty sure the instrument was a flute. Could have been something else.


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Subject: Lyr Add: THE OLD MASTER PAINTER (Frank Sinatra)
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 24 Aug 16 - 02:52 PM

Mentioned by "Bill H //\\" on 24 Oct 2008. I don't see why this is called a novelty song, though.


THE OLD MASTER PAINTER
Words by Haven Gillespie, music by Beasley Smith.
As recorded by Frank Sinatra, 1949.

[1] The old master painter from the faraway hills
Painted the vi'lets and the daffodils.
He put the purple in the twilight haze,
Then did a rainbow for the rainy days,
Dreamed up the murals on the blue summer skies,
Painted the devil in my darlin's eyes,
Captured the dreamer with a thousand thrills—
The old master painter from the faraway hills.

[2] Then came his masterpiece, and when he was through,
He smiled down from heaven and he gave me you.
What a beautiful job on that wonderful day!
The old master painter from the hills far away.

[Repeat 2, 1, 2.]

(Far away.) Far away.
(Far away.) Far away. [FADE]


[Also recorded by Snooky Lanson, Richard Hayes, Bob Crosby, Mel Torme, Phil Harris, Dick Haymes, Geraldo and His Orchestra, and others.]


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Subject: RE: 1950s novelty songs
From: JennieG
Date: 24 Aug 16 - 02:28 AM

Real gems there, Jim!


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Subject: Lyr Add: I COME HERE TO BE WENT WITH BUT I AIN'T…
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 24 Aug 16 - 01:41 AM

Mentioned by Arkie on 24-Oct-2008:


I COME HERE TO BE WENT WITH BUT I AIN'T BEEN YET
Words by Delmar Smith Porter & Donnell Clyde Cooley; music by Carl Hoefle.
As recorded by Ginny Jackson with Spade Cooley, 1950.

I come here to be went with, but I ain't been yet.
I come here to be kissed with, but I ain't been yet.
He promised he would meet me in the middle of the block.
We made a date for half past eight and now it's twelve o'clock.

I come here to be went with, but I ain't been yet.
I come here to be hugged with, but I ain't been yet.
But I'll keep on right on waiting; gee, I hope he don't forget.
I come here to be went with, but I ain't been yet.

I come here to be went with, but I ain't been yet.
I come here to be smooched with, but I ain't been yet.
That boy had better hurry if he plans on thrilling me,
'Cause I've been waiting here so long my feet are killing me.

I come here to be went with, but I ain't been yet.
I come here to be squeezed with, but I ain't been yet.
I miss the kissin' that I'm missin' cause I'm all upset.
I come here to be went with, but I ain't been yet.

Ho hum!
I guess I'll go back home.


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Subject: RE: 1950s novelty songs
From: mkebenn
Date: 23 Aug 16 - 08:01 AM

"There's no room to Rumba in a sports car" Elvis, from one of his high art movies. Mike


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Subject: Lyr Add: NEVER DO A TANGO WITH AN ESKIMO (A Cogan)
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 23 Aug 16 - 12:57 AM

This was quoted by MikeofNorthumbria on 23 Oct 2008. I found it on Spotify.


NEVER DO A TANGO WITH AN ESKIMO
Written by Tommie Connor.
As recorded by Alma Cogan, 1955.

You must never do a tango with an Eskimo.
No, no, no! Oh, dear, no!
When a lady from Nebraska's
At a party in Alaska,
She must never do a tango with an Eskimo.

You can do it with a Latin
From Manila to Manhattan.
You can do it with a gaucho in Brazil,
But if once those Eskimoses
Start to wiggle with their toeses,
You can bet your life you're gonna get a chill.

You can never do a tango with an Eskimo.
No, no, no! Oh, dear, no!
If you do you'll get the breeze up
And you'll end up with a freeze up.
You must never do a tango with an Eskimo.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!

You must never do a tango with an Eskimo.
No, no, no! Oh, dear, no!
When a lady from Nebraska's
At a party in Alaska,
She must never do a tango with an Eskimo.

You can do it with a sailor
From Peru to Venezuela.
You can do it with Apaches in Paree,
But if once an Eskimozee
Starts to cuddle up so cozy,
You'll find your passion cooling, yessiree.

You can never do a tango with an Eskimo,
No, no, no! Oh, dear, no!
If you do you'll get the breeze up,
And you'll end up with a freeze up.
You must never do a tango with an Eskimo.
No, no, no, oh no, no, no!
Never do a tango with an Eskimo.
No, no, no!


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Subject: RE: 1950s novelty songs
From: Joe_F
Date: 22 Aug 16 - 08:27 PM

If you hold up one big green ball in your left hand and another big green ball in your right hand, what have you got?

A Jolly Green Giant.


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Subject: Lyr Add: JOLLY GREEN GIANT (The Kingsmen)
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 22 Aug 16 - 08:11 PM

Suggested by Lonesome EJ on 22 Oct 2008:

JOLLY GREEN GIANT
As recorded by the Kingsmen, 1965.

In the valley of the jolly (ho, ho, ho)—wow!

You've heard about the Jolly Green Giant. (Potatoes!)
He's so big and mean. (Artichoke hearts!)
He stands there laughin' with his hands on his hips
When he hits you with a can of beans.

He lives down in his valley. (Brussels sprouts!)
The cat stands tall and green. (Spinach!)
He ain't no prize, and there's no women his size,
And that's why the cat's so mean.

One day he left – his valley pad.
I mean to say – this cat was mad.
Now lookin' round, – he wasn't gone long,
And then he run into an Amazon.

Well, this changed his whole complexion. (Broccoli!)
He had never seen such beautiful sight. (Corn!)
He looked at her and she looked at him,
And she almost passed out from fright.

He looked at her, thought: "What a dilly!"
He touched her once; she slapped him silly.
This was somethin' he had never sensed.
He looked at her and she commenced:

"Now listen, pal; this ain't no fluke.
I can't see goin' with a big green kook."

You've heard about the Jolly Green Giant. (Eggplant!)
Don't let his troubles cross your mind. (Celery stalks!)
He couldn't get Sally, so he went back to his valley.
The cat was colorblind.

Doot-doot [etc.] (Carrots!)
Doot-doot [etc.] (and beans!)
Doot-doot [etc.]


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Subject: Lyr Add: I AM A MOLE AND I LIVE IN A HOLE
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 22 Aug 16 - 07:31 PM

This was mentioned by From: John MacKenzie on 21 Oct 2008. There are several copies of this recording on YouTube:


I AM A MOLE AND I LIVE IN A HOLE
As recorded by the Southlanders, 1958.

I'm not a bat or a rat or a cat.
I'm not gnu or a kangaroo.
I'm not a goose or a moose on the loose.
I am a mole and I live in a hole.

I'm not a cow or a chow or a sow.
I'm not a snake or a hake or a drake.
I'm not a flea or a wee chimpanzee.
I am a mole and I live in a hole.

Yarg, yarg! Quark, quark! Fried, boiled, or roast,
You're the slick chick I dig the most.

I'm not a ram or a clam or a lamb.
I'm not a hog or a frog or a dog.
I'm not a bus or a hippopotamus.
I am a mole and I live in a hole.


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Subject: Lyr Add: LITTLE RED RENTED ROWBOAT (Joe Dowell)
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 22 Aug 16 - 05:15 PM

First mentioned by SINSULL on 20-Oct-2008 above:


LITTLE RED RENTED ROWBOAT
Written by Marvin J. Moore & Bernie Wayne.
As recorded by Joe Dowell, 1962.

CHORUS: Little red rented rowboat,
Little red rented rowboat,
Not much better than no boat,
But at least it'll go when I row, row, row,
At least it'll go when I row.

I saw two pretty girls sunbathin' on a pier.
They wore bikinis way down to here.
I waved; they waved.
They said they'd like a ride,
So I helped them climb inside.

To share my—CHORUS

'Long came a sailboat big enough for two.
The skipper saw the girls; I knew what he would do.
He waved, and they waved.
Then he helped them* inside.
Just one girl to ride—

There in my—CHORUS

Hot rod motorboat roared up behind.
A girl took a look and I could read her mind.
She waved, and he waved.
He helped her climb inside,
Leavin' me with wounded pride.

One hour later I saw them again,
Motorboat out o' gas, sailboat out o' wind.
The girls waved and I waved,
And then I passed them by,
With my nose held way up high.

Me and my—CHORUS


[* He clearly sings "them" but it should be "one"; otherwise, the math doesn't add up.]


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Subject: RE: 1950s novelty songs
From: GUEST
Date: 22 Aug 16 - 01:56 AM

TheAnimals?


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Subject: RE: 1950s novelty songs
From: GUEST,Senoufou
Date: 21 Aug 16 - 04:28 AM

Jim, Little Red Monkey sung by Mel Blanc is on Youtube. I don't myself like this version, he sounds like a character from The Hobbit! I prefer Rosemary Clooney (also on Youtube)


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Subject: RE: 1950s novelty songs
From: LadyJean
Date: 20 Aug 16 - 09:30 PM

In college I lived across the hall from two girls from Hong Kong. You have not heard Itsy Bitsy Teeny Weenie Yellow Polka Dot Bikini until you have heard it in Chinese, which I have.


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Subject: Lyr Add: LITTLE RED MONKEY (Mel Blanc)
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 20 Aug 16 - 08:07 AM

This was first mentioned by Little Robyn on 20-Oct-2008. This was the only vocal version I found on Spotify, although there are several instrumental versions:


LITTLE RED MONKEY
As recorded by Mel Blanc, 1953.

Look at the monkey, funny monkey,
Little red monkey, acting so fidgety.
Look at the monkey, funny monkey,
Little red monkey, cute as can be.
Where is his mama, papa, sister,
Brother, cousin, rest of the family?
Little red monkey, on his ownsome,
Very lonesome monkey is he.
Ah-ah, ah-ah-ah-ah-ah!
If you get him into a zoo,
He'll do all of his tricks for you.
Won't you drop him a line or two,
Inviting him to the zoo,
For if you do,
He'll be a happy snappy monkey,
Little red monkey acting so merrily.
I hope you like this little red monkey.
He's so funny, cute as can be.

[REPEAT, SUBSTITUTING FOR LAST LINE:]
For that funny money is me,
Little red monkey, little red monkey, nobody else but me!


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Subject: Lyr Add: BIG TEN INCH RECORD (Bull Moose Jackson)
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 20 Aug 16 - 01:13 AM

This was mentioned by Cluin on 20 Oct 2008:


BIG TEN INCH RECORD
As recorded by Bull Moose Jackson, 1952.

1. Got me the strangest woman.
Believe me, this chick's no cinch,
But I really get her goin'
When I take out my big ten-inch—

CHORUS: Record of the band that plays the blues,
The band that plays the blues.
She just loves my big ten-inch
Record of her fav'rite blues.

2. Last night I tried to tease her.
I gave her a little pinch,
But she said: "Now stop that jivin',
And get out that big ten-inch—CHORUS

3. I cover her with kisses
When we're in a lovers' clinch,
And when she gets all excited,
She begs for my big ten-inch—CHORUS

4. My gal don't go for smokin',
And liquor just makes her flinch.
Seems she just goes for nothin'
Except my big ten-inch—CHORUS


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Subject: Lyr Add: THERE'S A NEW SOUND (Tony Burrello)
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 09 Aug 16 - 12:55 AM

This has been mentioned a few times in this thread, but with the wrong title.

This song can be heard on Spotify and YouTube. It consists of only this one verse, repeated several times, sung in a near monotone, but modulated upwards each time, interspersed by Chipmunk-like vocal sounds, representing, I suppose, the sound of worms.

THERE'S A NEW SOUND
As recorded by Tony Burrello, 1953.

There's a new sound, the newest sound around,
The strangest sound that you have ever heard.
Not like a wild boar or a jungle lion's roar,
It isn't like the cry of any bird.
But there's a new sound; it's deep down in the ground,
And ev'ryone who listens to it squirms,
Because this new sound, so deep down in the ground,
Is the sound that's made by worms.


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Subject: Lyr Add: THE JOKE (Reggie Hall)
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 06 Aug 16 - 09:56 PM

GUEST,N.O. Oldies quoted from this song on 03-Jan-2009. It can be heard on YouTube.


THE JOKE
As recorded by Reggie Hall, 1962.

Here's a story I'm gonna tell,
And it's a joke that I know real well:

They say that Wyatt Earp rode a horse,
But that's not so; he drove a car.
They say that big Cheyenne shot up the land,
But he really was a real estate man.

They say that Rudolph Valentino was a lover,
But that's not so; it was his brother;
Sayin' Jesse James had a gang,
But he really had a ragtime band.

They say that ol' Bat Masterson carried a cane,
But that's not so; he drove a plane.
They say that big Cheyenne shot up the land,
But he really was a real estate man.

They say that ol' big Paladin have gun will travel,
But that's not so; he shoveled gravel;
Sayin' Jesse James had a gang,
But he really had a ragtime band.

They say that Perry Mason won all his cases,
But that's not so; he sold shoe laces.
They say that big Cheyenne shot up the land,
But he really was a real estate man.

They say that Robin Hood lived in the forest,
But that's not so; he was a lawyer;
Sayin' Jesse James had a gang,
But he really had a ragtime band.


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Subject: RE: 1950s novelty songs
From: clueless don
Date: 05 Aug 16 - 09:05 AM

This isn't from the 50s, but I'm remembering the following fragment that I overheard:

I knew a man
Abramowitz
he sold to you
...
worn-out shoes!

It may not have been anything more than this throwaway line.

Don


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Subject: RE: 1950s novelty songs
From: mkebenn
Date: 05 Aug 16 - 08:26 AM

Without rereading the thread, I must have missed "Tie Me Kangaroo Down", right? Mike


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Subject: RE: 1950s novelty songs
From: mike gouthro
Date: 04 Aug 16 - 06:52 PM

House Of Blue Lights - by Chuck Miller (1955)


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Subject: RE: 1950s novelty songs
From: Senoufou
Date: 04 Aug 16 - 06:36 PM

In the fifties (and into the sixties) there was a BBC radio programme called 'Uncle Mac's Children's Favourites' presented by Derek McCulloch. It's available nowadays on Amazon.co.uk, and called 'Hello Children Everywhere'.
There are over 40 songs, most of which are novelty/comedy/catchy and very typical of the age.
If one accesses Amazon, the playlist is set out and all the titles can be seen.
Examples are:-

The Railroad Runs Through The Middle Of The House (Alma Cogan)
The Laughing Policeman (Charles Penrose)
"Gilly-Gilly Ossenfeffer Katzenellen Bogen By The Sea." (Max Bygraves)
You’re a Pink Toothbrush (Max Bygraves) (my all-time favourite)
The Runaway Train
When Father Papered The Parlour
Little White Duck (Danny Kay)
and several by Burl Ives (I Know An Old Lady and Big Rock Candy Mountain for example)

I have the cassettes still!


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Subject: Lyr Add: I WANT ONE (Jack Reno)
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 04 Aug 16 - 02:47 PM

Arkie mentioned this one on 21-Oct-2008:


I WANT ONE
As recorded by Jack Reno, 1968.

1. I'll never forget the first time I ever saw one.
I knew right then that I just had to have one.
And though you say I wouldn't know what to do with one,
If it's the last thing I ever do, I'm gonna get one.

CHORUS: I want one.
I need one.
And you would too if you had ever seen one.
Oh, I want one.

2. Mama told me my great-grandmother owned one.
And I once met a man who claimed that he'd lost one.
Wouldn't we make a fortune if we could make one?
But woe unto the man who tries to steal one. CHORUS.

3. I know all there is to know about one,
And I'm gonna search this whole world over until I find one.
People will point at me and say: "He has one"
And I'm gonna give all o' my friends a chance to see one. CHORUS


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Subject: RE: 1950s novelty songs
From: GUEST, DTM
Date: 04 Aug 16 - 02:00 PM

"Where Will the Dimple Be?" - Rosemary Clooney

"Well I Ask Yew" - Fred Walking Stick with the Electric Wireless Orchestra

"I've Been Carrying a Torch for You So Long That I Burned a Great Big Hole In My Heart" - Nino Tempo & April Stevens


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Subject: RE: 1950s novelty songs
From: Fred Maslan
Date: 04 Aug 16 - 10:20 AM

May have missed it, but no one seems to have mentioned "Johnny Fedora and Alice Blue Bonnet" a love song between two hats.


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Subject: Lyr Add: BIRD ON MY HEAD (David Seville)
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 04 Aug 16 - 01:24 AM

Dick Greenhaus mentioned this song on 20 October 2008.
In the following transcription, the "bird's" words are enclosed in parentheses.


BIRD ON MY HEAD
As recorded by David Seville (whose real name was Ross Bagdasarian Sr.), 1958.

I'm just sittin' in a vacant lot with a bird sittin' on my head.
I'm just sittin' in a vacant lot with a bird sittin' on my head.

Wicked, wicked, cruel, cruel world, what have you done to me?
I belong in someone's arms (and I belong in a tree).
Wicked, wicked, cruel, cruel world, this is no kind of life.
I should have a house and bed (and I should have me a wife).

We're just sittin' in a vacant lot and we haven't got a dime.
The bird and me, lonely as can be, we're together all the time.

Wicked, wicked, cruel, cruel world, what have you done to me?
I belong in someone's arms (and I belong in a tree).
Wicked, wicked, cruel, cruel world, what I say is no lie.
We've been sittin' here so long (that I forgot how to fly).

I'm just sittin' in a vacant lot (and I'm sittin' on his head).
The things we want we haven't got; (need a tree and house and bed).
Wicked, wicked, cruel, cruel world, what have you done to me?
(He belongs in someone's arms) and he belongs in a tree.

Wicked, wicked, cruel, cruel world, this is no kind of life.
(He should have a house and bed) and he should have him a wife.
Wicked, wicked, cruel, cruel world, what have you done to me?
I belong in someone's arms (and I belong in a tree). FADE.


[This was David Seville's second novelty record—the first was "Witch Doctor"; the next was "The Chipmunk Song (Christmas Don't Be Late)"]


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Subject: RE: 1950s novelty songs
From: GUEST,guest:oregon
Date: 05 Jun 16 - 05:20 AM

I heard a recording by an unknown artist that was identical to Chuck Berry's No. 1 hit in 1972 "My Ding-a-Ling". It could have been Chuck Berry but this was in the late 50's.


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Subject: RE: 1950s novelty songs
From: GUEST,Kevin b
Date: 10 Apr 14 - 12:48 PM

I'm ur coffee I'm ur tea better save all ur sugar for me. Better watch who ur giving ur love to cause I'm plum papa'd over u. T'Ain't Nice


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Subject: RE: 1950s novelty songs
From: NightWing
Date: 28 Jan 12 - 01:48 AM

GUEST,J (back in 06 Jul 09) asked My dad used to sing a jingle about brushing your teeth...with words like "you will have a winning smile." Anyone know this?

I remember The Billboard Song:

As I was walking down the street a billboard caught my eye.
The advertisements written there would make you laugh and cry.
The signs were torn and tattered from the storm the night before
And as I read the things they said, this is what I saw:

Smoke Coca-Cola cigarettes! Drink Wrigley's Spearmint beer!
Chew Ken-L Ration dogfood, makes your wife's complexion clear!
Eat chocolate-covered mothballs: they always satisfy!
And wash your face with LifeBuoy Soap and watch the suds go by!

Take your next vacation in a brand-new Frigidaire!
Learn to play piano in your winter underwear!
Simonize your baby with a Hershey's candy bar!
And see the difference Drano makes in all the movie stars.

Doctors say that babies shouldn't smoke 'til a hundred and three!
And grandmas under 35 take baths in Lipton Tea!
Now you can make this country a better place to stay:
Just buy a record of this song and throw it far away!

[as a cheer]
T - I - D - E ! Zest!

I don't suppose that's what he was thinking of, but it reminded me of this.

Back in 21 Oct 09, GUEST,tkhering asked:

Is this the song "Worms?" I don't know the details.
==========
Subject: RE: 1950s novelty songs
From: GUEST,Guest JKA
Date: 03 Apr 09 - 06:22 PM

I only heard this on WKRC in Cincinnati,OH (model for WKRP) in the early 50's.It went like this:

There's a New Sound, the newest sound around,
the newest sound you ever heard.
Not like a wild boar or a jungle lions roar,
not like the cry of any bird.
But, this new sound ......

It is indeed Worms, by Tony Burrello and Tom Murray.

There's a new sound, the newest sound around,
the newest sound that you ever heard.
Not like a wild boar or a jungle lions roar,
not like the cry of any bird.
But, this new sound
It's in the ground
It's the sound,
that's made by WORMS
For a few others, how about

"Splish Splash"
Love Potion Number 9
Does anybody remember Wet Dream? Kip Addotta does a talkin' blues loaded with fish puns, then a female chorus comes in with the chorus: simply "Wet Dream". One of the early bits

My Barracuda was in the shop, so I was in a rented Stingray, and it was overheating.
So I pulled into a Shell station.
They said I'd blown a seal.
I said, "Fix the damn thing and leave my private life out of it, okay pal?"
has always been one of the funniest lines ever and I've used "For the halibut" ever since I first heard it in this song. (According to the wiki on him, he also did a similar one with vegetable puns? Never heard that one!)

Certainly, Worms and Wet Dream were from the '60's. But The Billboard Song should certainly qualify.

BB,
NightWing


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Subject: RE: 1950s novelty songs
From: GUEST,nikinez
Date: 27 Jan 12 - 05:48 PM

does anybody know the lyrics to the song the barking dog by the crewcuts back in 1954? it was a cute novelty song


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Subject: RE: 1950s novelty songs
From: Greg B
Date: 24 Jan 12 - 02:04 PM

Lou Monte had a spate of them in the 50's: "Lazy Mary (Luna Mezza Mare)" among others named here. (Hee-haw hee haw.)


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Subject: RE: 1950s novelty songs
From: dick greenhaus
Date: 19 Jun 11 - 11:20 PM

Tom Lehrer's best-remembered songs were from the 50s. As were The Hut-Sut Song and the earliest Chipmunk ones such as "Standing all alone in a vacant lot with a bird sitting on my head" [=Bird on My Head]


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Subject: RE: 1950s novelty songs
From: GUEST
Date: 19 Jun 11 - 06:09 PM

Dies anyone remember who sang mr and mrs Coconut????


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Subject: RE: 1950s novelty songs
From: The other Hank
Date: 16 Jun 11 - 12:23 PM

Google Dr. Demento. He had a radio show that featured novelty songs. Some of them absolute classics!


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Subject: RE: 1950s novelty songs
From: reynard
Date: 16 Jun 11 - 09:06 AM

Swamp Girl.
Or is this too "serious" to be classed as a "novelty song"?
I'd never heard this until I recently stumbled over it on Spotify so perhaps it was not released in the UK. The link below claims to be the lyrics to the (inferior) Charles Manson cover but is in fact a video of the audio of the brilliant original by Frankie Laine.

http://www.uppercutmusic.com/artist_c/charles_manson_lyrics/swamp_girl_lyrics.html


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Subject: RE: 1950s novelty songs
From: clueless don
Date: 16 Jun 11 - 08:43 AM

GUEST,margie0507, I remember both "They’re Coming To Take Me Away, Ha-Haaa!" and Counting Flowers on the Wall.

Don


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Subject: RE: 1950s novelty songs
From: GUEST,margie0507
Date: 15 Jun 11 - 11:01 AM

I remember this song! My sister had it in her collection. No one remembers it but me. And you.


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