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Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs

jacqui.c 10 Dec 08 - 07:11 PM
kendall 10 Dec 08 - 07:25 PM
Genie 10 Dec 08 - 07:33 PM
DADGBE 10 Dec 08 - 07:37 PM
Genie 10 Dec 08 - 07:39 PM
Jack Campin 10 Dec 08 - 08:36 PM
Bugsy 10 Dec 08 - 08:46 PM
JedMarum 10 Dec 08 - 08:47 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 10 Dec 08 - 08:48 PM
Little Hawk 10 Dec 08 - 08:50 PM
Richard Bridge 10 Dec 08 - 08:57 PM
John on the Sunset Coast 10 Dec 08 - 10:03 PM
GUEST,Steve in Idaho 10 Dec 08 - 10:28 PM
ClaireBear 10 Dec 08 - 10:31 PM
Barbara 10 Dec 08 - 10:43 PM
Mark Ross 10 Dec 08 - 11:15 PM
JedMarum 10 Dec 08 - 11:19 PM
Padre 11 Dec 08 - 12:41 AM
Tim Leaning 11 Dec 08 - 12:50 AM
Tradsinger 11 Dec 08 - 02:51 AM
Genie 11 Dec 08 - 02:53 AM
Paul Burke 11 Dec 08 - 02:58 AM
RamblinStu 11 Dec 08 - 03:08 AM
Genie 11 Dec 08 - 03:10 AM
Dave Hanson 11 Dec 08 - 03:21 AM
evansakes 11 Dec 08 - 03:36 AM
Bugsy 11 Dec 08 - 03:38 AM
Acorn4 11 Dec 08 - 03:43 AM
Sugwash 11 Dec 08 - 03:48 AM
Genie 11 Dec 08 - 03:59 AM
Nigel Parsons 11 Dec 08 - 04:21 AM
Will Fly 11 Dec 08 - 04:28 AM
VirginiaTam 11 Dec 08 - 04:35 AM
GUEST,Golightly 11 Dec 08 - 04:38 AM
Genie 11 Dec 08 - 04:39 AM
Tim Leaning 11 Dec 08 - 04:41 AM
GUEST,Shimrod 11 Dec 08 - 04:42 AM
Genie 11 Dec 08 - 04:50 AM
Barry Finn 11 Dec 08 - 05:09 AM
GUEST,Shimrod 11 Dec 08 - 05:18 AM
BusyBee Paul 11 Dec 08 - 05:27 AM
jacqui.c 11 Dec 08 - 05:34 AM
Richard Bridge 11 Dec 08 - 12:39 PM
GUEST,Girl Friday sans cookie 11 Dec 08 - 12:42 PM
Richard Bridge 11 Dec 08 - 12:43 PM
Genie 11 Dec 08 - 12:46 PM
kendall 11 Dec 08 - 12:52 PM
Big Al Whittle 11 Dec 08 - 01:29 PM
The Villan 11 Dec 08 - 01:52 PM
GUEST 11 Dec 08 - 02:27 PM
Spleen Cringe 11 Dec 08 - 02:38 PM
Banjiman 11 Dec 08 - 02:40 PM
The Villan 11 Dec 08 - 02:46 PM
Doug Chadwick 11 Dec 08 - 02:47 PM
The Villan 11 Dec 08 - 02:52 PM
The Villan 11 Dec 08 - 02:53 PM
Joybell 11 Dec 08 - 03:11 PM
WFDU - Ron Olesko 11 Dec 08 - 03:55 PM
Rapparee 11 Dec 08 - 04:06 PM
dick greenhaus 11 Dec 08 - 06:04 PM
Folkiedave 11 Dec 08 - 06:32 PM
McGrath of Harlow 11 Dec 08 - 06:50 PM
Genie 11 Dec 08 - 07:03 PM
Bugsy 11 Dec 08 - 07:15 PM
Acorn4 11 Dec 08 - 07:20 PM
Piers Plowman 12 Dec 08 - 03:14 AM
trevek 12 Dec 08 - 03:53 AM
Dave Sutherland 12 Dec 08 - 06:26 AM
Bryn Pugh 12 Dec 08 - 06:47 AM
Bernard 12 Dec 08 - 06:55 AM
Leadfingers 12 Dec 08 - 07:43 AM
Marje 12 Dec 08 - 07:43 AM
GUEST,boxbox 12 Dec 08 - 07:54 AM
Richard Bridge 12 Dec 08 - 08:01 AM
GUEST 12 Dec 08 - 08:05 AM
Spleen Cringe 12 Dec 08 - 08:29 AM
The Villan 12 Dec 08 - 08:33 AM
Charley Noble 12 Dec 08 - 08:39 AM
Spleen Cringe 12 Dec 08 - 08:48 AM
GUEST,Jonny Sunshine 12 Dec 08 - 08:55 AM
trevek 12 Dec 08 - 08:55 AM
GUEST,Chris B (Born Again Scouser) 12 Dec 08 - 09:23 AM
Roger the Skiffler 12 Dec 08 - 09:31 AM
Bryn Pugh 12 Dec 08 - 09:39 AM
theleveller 12 Dec 08 - 11:20 AM
theleveller 12 Dec 08 - 11:59 AM
Rapparee 12 Dec 08 - 12:24 PM
The Villan 12 Dec 08 - 12:35 PM
Dave the Gnome 12 Dec 08 - 12:41 PM
The Villan 12 Dec 08 - 12:51 PM
greg stephens 12 Dec 08 - 01:28 PM
Rapparee 12 Dec 08 - 01:30 PM
Ythanside 12 Dec 08 - 01:32 PM
Acorn4 12 Dec 08 - 01:38 PM
Bodbum 12 Dec 08 - 01:50 PM
VirginiaTam 12 Dec 08 - 04:44 PM
Herga Kitty 12 Dec 08 - 05:38 PM
The Villan 12 Dec 08 - 05:48 PM
The Villan 12 Dec 08 - 05:52 PM
The Villan 12 Dec 08 - 05:52 PM
The Villan 12 Dec 08 - 05:53 PM
Phil Edwards 12 Dec 08 - 06:41 PM
Leadfingers 12 Dec 08 - 06:51 PM
Genie 13 Dec 08 - 01:52 AM
Genie 13 Dec 08 - 01:54 AM
Genie 13 Dec 08 - 01:55 AM
HuwG 13 Dec 08 - 02:52 AM
Musket 13 Dec 08 - 06:07 AM
GUEST,boxbox 13 Dec 08 - 08:15 AM
GUEST,boxbox 13 Dec 08 - 08:21 AM
GUEST 13 Dec 08 - 08:23 AM
Piers Plowman 13 Dec 08 - 09:36 AM
Midchuck 13 Dec 08 - 09:40 AM
Little Hawk 13 Dec 08 - 10:59 AM
GUEST 13 Dec 08 - 11:10 AM
Gedi 13 Dec 08 - 11:21 AM
Aeola 13 Dec 08 - 11:22 AM
VirginiaTam 13 Dec 08 - 12:16 PM
G-Force 13 Dec 08 - 12:24 PM
Richard Bridge 13 Dec 08 - 12:44 PM
stallion 13 Dec 08 - 12:57 PM
Art Thieme 13 Dec 08 - 01:41 PM
Art Thieme 13 Dec 08 - 01:49 PM
Ann N 13 Dec 08 - 01:58 PM
Ann N 13 Dec 08 - 02:26 PM
bluesbaby 2 13 Dec 08 - 02:59 PM
Richard Bridge 13 Dec 08 - 04:05 PM
Genie 13 Dec 08 - 07:53 PM
Effsee 13 Dec 08 - 10:16 PM
DMcG 14 Dec 08 - 02:41 AM
Folk Form # 1 14 Dec 08 - 03:24 AM
Bugsy 14 Dec 08 - 03:30 AM
Dave Sutherland 14 Dec 08 - 05:50 AM
GUEST 14 Dec 08 - 08:02 AM
kendall 14 Dec 08 - 08:04 AM
Leadfingers 14 Dec 08 - 08:05 AM
scouse 14 Dec 08 - 08:19 AM
greg stephens 14 Dec 08 - 09:25 AM
GUEST 14 Dec 08 - 09:25 AM
Genie 14 Dec 08 - 01:02 PM
Faye Roche 14 Dec 08 - 01:22 PM
romany man 15 Dec 08 - 02:47 AM
Bugsy 15 Dec 08 - 03:15 AM
kendall 15 Dec 08 - 07:05 AM
Spleen Cringe 15 Dec 08 - 07:46 AM
TheSnail 15 Dec 08 - 07:52 AM
Bernard 15 Dec 08 - 11:01 AM
The Villan 15 Dec 08 - 11:10 AM
Dead Horse 16 Dec 08 - 07:29 AM
Folk Form # 1 16 Dec 08 - 07:46 AM
goatfell 16 Dec 08 - 08:05 AM
melodeonboy 16 Dec 08 - 09:42 AM
greg stephens 16 Dec 08 - 09:55 AM
melodeonboy 16 Dec 08 - 05:47 PM
Phil Edwards 17 Dec 08 - 05:27 AM
evansakes 17 Dec 08 - 06:42 AM
GUEST,Beeds 17 Dec 08 - 07:30 AM
GUEST,KevBoyd 17 Dec 08 - 08:00 AM
GUEST,KevBoyd 17 Dec 08 - 08:05 AM
Rapparee 17 Dec 08 - 08:14 AM
Waddon Pete 17 Dec 08 - 08:41 AM
greg stephens 17 Dec 08 - 08:47 AM
fat B****rd 17 Dec 08 - 12:20 PM
GUEST,Bob Ryszkiewicz 17 Dec 08 - 12:26 PM
Bugsy 17 Dec 08 - 10:42 PM
Musket 18 Dec 08 - 10:49 AM
Genie 18 Dec 08 - 08:10 PM
GUEST,Steve in Idaho 18 Dec 08 - 09:11 PM
Richard Bridge 19 Dec 08 - 04:33 AM
Jack Blandiver 19 Dec 08 - 04:39 AM
GUEST,OldNicKilby 19 Dec 08 - 06:07 AM
Dave the Gnome 19 Dec 08 - 07:02 AM
Acorn4 19 Dec 08 - 10:46 AM
GUEST,DaveMc 19 Dec 08 - 11:32 AM
Acorn4 19 Dec 08 - 01:26 PM
Bob Hitchcock 20 Dec 08 - 10:19 AM
The Sandman 20 Dec 08 - 12:35 PM
The Sandman 20 Dec 08 - 01:00 PM
The Sandman 20 Dec 08 - 01:08 PM
Rapparee 20 Dec 08 - 01:18 PM
Acorn4 20 Dec 08 - 06:49 PM
Rapparee 20 Dec 08 - 07:08 PM
VirginiaTam 21 Dec 08 - 02:48 PM
Richard Bridge 21 Dec 08 - 05:17 PM
VirginiaTam 22 Dec 08 - 04:41 AM
Richard Bridge 22 Dec 08 - 06:20 PM
VirginiaTam 23 Dec 08 - 02:55 AM
Piers Plowman 23 Dec 08 - 03:28 AM
The Villan 23 Dec 08 - 06:14 AM
GUEST,TJ in San Diego 23 Dec 08 - 11:26 AM
Phil Edwards 23 Dec 08 - 01:41 PM
Jack Campin 23 Dec 08 - 02:26 PM
GUEST,pip 23 Dec 08 - 03:57 PM
Richard Bridge 23 Dec 08 - 04:54 PM
Brakn 23 Dec 08 - 05:08 PM
Cool Beans 23 Dec 08 - 05:50 PM
johnross 24 Dec 08 - 12:35 AM
Genie 24 Dec 08 - 03:23 AM
GUEST,Anon for obvious reasons 24 Dec 08 - 04:00 AM
Leadfingers 24 Dec 08 - 04:44 AM
Peace 24 Dec 08 - 10:06 PM
Tim Leaning 25 Dec 08 - 10:20 AM
GUEST,KevBoyd 06 Feb 09 - 09:19 AM
VirginiaTam 06 Feb 09 - 09:21 AM
GUEST,John from Kemsing 06 Feb 09 - 09:41 AM
Musket 06 Feb 09 - 10:14 AM
VirginiaTam 06 Feb 09 - 10:21 AM
Aeola 06 Feb 09 - 12:30 PM
Art Thieme 28 Feb 09 - 10:42 PM
Bugsy 28 Feb 09 - 11:23 PM
Clontarf83 28 Feb 09 - 11:51 PM
Don Firth 01 Mar 09 - 12:15 AM
Don Firth 01 Mar 09 - 12:17 AM
Jayto 01 Mar 09 - 12:33 AM
Genie 01 Mar 09 - 03:17 AM
Dave Hanson 01 Mar 09 - 03:17 AM
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Subject: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: jacqui.c
Date: 10 Dec 08 - 07:11 PM

Heard at an otherwise excellent evening at Marlow Bottom tonight.

"I really need a melodeon player for this one".

Any advance on that?


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: kendall
Date: 10 Dec 08 - 07:25 PM

Was he joking?


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: Genie
Date: 10 Dec 08 - 07:33 PM

How about, "We've only heard Danny Boy once this evening. Would someone please play it again?"


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: DADGBE
Date: 10 Dec 08 - 07:37 PM

"Oh, how nice! Another bodhan player." or how about, "That guitar is too perfectly tuned!"
Maybe, "Can't you play that banjo any louder?"


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: Genie
Date: 10 Dec 08 - 07:39 PM

"What? No bagpipes? Damn!"


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: Jack Campin
Date: 10 Dec 08 - 08:36 PM

"Now THAT's what I call a ringtone".

"Great groove coming out of that iPod, crank it up".


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: Bugsy
Date: 10 Dec 08 - 08:46 PM

"Now we're going to sing "The Wild Rover" and Don't forget the part of the chorus that goes, 'And it's NO,NAY,NEVER", then 3 claps and "RIGHT UP YOUR ARSE!' - Ok here we go then..........."


Cheers


Bugsy


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: JedMarum
Date: 10 Dec 08 - 08:47 PM

"I wish you'd brought your bagpipes again this evening!"


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 10 Dec 08 - 08:48 PM

"Sure, you can play a song or two on my pre-war Martin, but only after you've had a few more drinks to loosen up."


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 Dec 08 - 08:50 PM

"What we really need is four more years in the White House for George Bush so he can get things straightened out here and in the Middle East too..."


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: Richard Bridge
Date: 10 Dec 08 - 08:57 PM

Shaky egg fits really nicely on this.


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: John on the Sunset Coast
Date: 10 Dec 08 - 10:03 PM

C'mon, play Melancholy Baby..play it real sad.


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: GUEST,Steve in Idaho
Date: 10 Dec 08 - 10:28 PM

That Banjo and fiddle both need amplification - stick a mic up there Charlie - -


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: ClaireBear
Date: 10 Dec 08 - 10:31 PM

Oh, goodie, the SPOONS have arrived!


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: Barbara
Date: 10 Dec 08 - 10:43 PM

I know we were going around the circle and taking turns, but your versions of 'Sloop John B', 'Puff',and 'Kumbyah" were lovely, so why don't you do a fourth one?

Blessings,
B


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: Mark Ross
Date: 10 Dec 08 - 11:15 PM

"Is that the banjo players Porsche?"


Mark Ross


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: JedMarum
Date: 10 Dec 08 - 11:19 PM

"No, no, no. You're fine, we'll all tune to you!"


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: Padre
Date: 11 Dec 08 - 12:41 AM

"I've always wanted to hear Rocky Top played on the hurdy-gurdy"


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: Tim Leaning
Date: 11 Dec 08 - 12:50 AM

Thanks for helping with the harmony Tim


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: Tradsinger
Date: 11 Dec 08 - 02:51 AM

Lets all tune to the banjo.


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: Genie
Date: 11 Dec 08 - 02:53 AM

Anyone know any Barry Manilow?


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: Paul Burke
Date: 11 Dec 08 - 02:58 AM

Thanks for telling me the right chorus for my song- I've been singing it wrong all these years!


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: RamblinStu
Date: 11 Dec 08 - 03:08 AM

Oh how lovely, The Fields of Athenry…………again


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: Genie
Date: 11 Dec 08 - 03:10 AM

Thanks ever so much for stepping up to accompany my vocals on "She Moved Through The Fair" with your accordion!


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: Dave Hanson
Date: 11 Dec 08 - 03:21 AM

This is genuine, in a folk session near Bradford University, where I'm playing tenor banjo and mandolin, some geeky looking student asked me if we knew any Atomic Kitten.

eric


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: evansakes
Date: 11 Dec 08 - 03:36 AM

"No, it's OK, I won't do a floor spot tonight. I've come specifically to see the guest and I'm happy to pay the full whack"


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: Bugsy
Date: 11 Dec 08 - 03:38 AM

Well? do you??


Cheers


Bugsy


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: Acorn4
Date: 11 Dec 08 - 03:43 AM

This is a song about a successful relationship!


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: Sugwash
Date: 11 Dec 08 - 03:48 AM

"OK, I'm sorry banjo player, now please get your foot off my throat"


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: Genie
Date: 11 Dec 08 - 03:59 AM

"Hermione, would you please accompany me on your kazoo?"


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: Nigel Parsons
Date: 11 Dec 08 - 04:21 AM

"Okay everyone, I'm buying!, Double brandy & Babycham, no problem"


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: Will Fly
Date: 11 Dec 08 - 04:28 AM

"And now, I'd like you all to give a great big ( insert Name) Club welcome back to Reg - with his bloody awful voice and his cheap Chinese guitar and his crappy jokes - who's sung the same tasteless shite and bored us all rigid here every week for the past twenty years. So, let's here it for Reg..."


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 11 Dec 08 - 04:35 AM

I rather like shaky eggs.   

Really I do.


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: GUEST,Golightly
Date: 11 Dec 08 - 04:38 AM

'Right, you've all come to see the guest, so we'll start the second half before you have to leave to catch the last bus home'


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: Genie
Date: 11 Dec 08 - 04:39 AM

Nigel, I think you read my mind! LOL


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: Tim Leaning
Date: 11 Dec 08 - 04:41 AM

Of course I know a cheerful one mate.


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: GUEST,Shimrod
Date: 11 Dec 08 - 04:42 AM

Oh, I'm glad to see that you've brought your trusty A4 folder with you! You may not be able to keep in tune but at least you won't forget the words.


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: Genie
Date: 11 Dec 08 - 04:50 AM

(For the US)
"Oh, goody! Everyone's got their Blue Books out!"


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: Barry Finn
Date: 11 Dec 08 - 05:09 AM

Last night at a sea shanty session a guy starts singing, an accordian player steps in off key to back him up, a women comes over & askes him to stop he throwing the singer off. He's says "it's the singer whose off not me".
After the 3rd person said he was off key he packed up & went home.

Barry


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: GUEST,Shimrod
Date: 11 Dec 08 - 05:18 AM

Let's sum up, then: you're a group of 3 primary school teachers, who play guitar, tambourine and recorder, and you do plenty of those songs with actions that the audience can join in with. You're just what we're looking for!


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: BusyBee Paul
Date: 11 Dec 08 - 05:27 AM

I wish I HAD heard some of the above - especially "Thanks for helping with the harmony, Tim", cos it's too long since I've seen you, mate!.


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: jacqui.c
Date: 11 Dec 08 - 05:34 AM

ROTFLAMO! A good laugh to start the day.

And yes, Kendall, he really meant it and, hard though it is to say it, the tune did sound good with a melodeon!
















jacqui.c, wondering how long it will be before she's starts complimenting the banjo player after that last remark.


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: Richard Bridge
Date: 11 Dec 08 - 12:39 PM

"This is a song about social justice for the rich, who pay too much tax. It's a sequel to my song about the need to invade foreign coutries to bring them democracy and take control of their oil revenues."


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: GUEST,Girl Friday sans cookie
Date: 11 Dec 08 - 12:42 PM

This is real too because we wrote the song...
"This song requires lots of banjos!"


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: Richard Bridge
Date: 11 Dec 08 - 12:43 PM

Oh, several more come to mind.

"Nice shirt Kevin".

"Delicate and tasteful Simon".

"Richard just said he liked that".

"This is a song about the sorely missed traditional sports of bear-baiting and dog-fighting".

"No, Martin, I insist. You've bought too many rounds already".


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: Genie
Date: 11 Dec 08 - 12:46 PM

"Sorry, sir, but you can't come in without a jacket and cravat (tie)."


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: kendall
Date: 11 Dec 08 - 12:52 PM

Every one of these is really funny, and Padre, that one took the cake!


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: Big Al Whittle
Date: 11 Dec 08 - 01:29 PM

'You do that Kate Rusby voice really well - its almost like she's in the room.'


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: The Villan
Date: 11 Dec 08 - 01:52 PM

Hey Jimmy that was f****** aweful, get off :-)


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: GUEST
Date: 11 Dec 08 - 02:27 PM

Mark Ross suggested:

"Is that the banjo players Porsche?"


Not any more, Steve Martin tarded up to a Rolls.


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: Spleen Cringe
Date: 11 Dec 08 - 02:38 PM

"Can I have a closer look at that sustain pedal?"


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: Banjiman
Date: 11 Dec 08 - 02:40 PM

The piano works beautifully on that song..........


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: The Villan
Date: 11 Dec 08 - 02:46 PM

Ive been banjo'ed LOL


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: Doug Chadwick
Date: 11 Dec 08 - 02:47 PM

17 verses are more than enough, so I won't add the extra 5 that I've written

… in fact I'm only going to sing the first 3 verses of the original song.


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: The Villan
Date: 11 Dec 08 - 02:52 PM

Do they do lap dancing here


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: The Villan
Date: 11 Dec 08 - 02:53 PM

Do scarecrows have sex in Faldingworth LOL


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: Joybell
Date: 11 Dec 08 - 03:11 PM

Everybody turn to page 106 of the LARGE PRINT SONG-BOOK.


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: WFDU - Ron Olesko
Date: 11 Dec 08 - 03:55 PM

"The light show was awesome"
"Look at all these teenagers"
"The drums need to be amplified"
"Nothing like a bagpipe solo to get me in the mood"


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Dec 08 - 04:06 PM

Okay, let's all boogie down!

PORTLAND! Are you ready to FOLK????????


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: dick greenhaus
Date: 11 Dec 08 - 06:04 PM

...It goes exactly like this...


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: Folkiedave
Date: 11 Dec 08 - 06:32 PM

Here's a song about I wrote myself how happy I am my girl friend and I broke up.


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 11 Dec 08 - 06:50 PM

"I'd like to sing this one unaccompanied, so I'll leave the room first."


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: Genie
Date: 11 Dec 08 - 07:03 PM

"I'd like to do a medley of Metallica songs."


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: Bugsy
Date: 11 Dec 08 - 07:15 PM

"What's the price of admission? $10? Here's 20, keep the change"


Cheers

Bugsy


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: Acorn4
Date: 11 Dec 08 - 07:20 PM

Well, this is a song that's been kinda good to me!


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: Piers Plowman
Date: 12 Dec 08 - 03:14 AM

Wow, you're British? That American accent you sing in is completely convincing!

Alternatively:

Wow, you're American? That British accent you sing in is completely convincing!


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: trevek
Date: 12 Dec 08 - 03:53 AM

Of course we can mike-up your accordion.

Please can you only sing the correct and original words to "Green Fields of France" writtn by the Fureys.

Well, I'm sure Britney Spears songs are folk... it's not like a horse sings them.

... and our spcial guest artist, direct from the X-Factor finals...


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: Dave Sutherland
Date: 12 Dec 08 - 06:26 AM

" You want £600 plus £150 for PA hire and £75 for accommodation; no problem, when are you available?" :-)


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: Bryn Pugh
Date: 12 Dec 08 - 06:47 AM

Sing us a song or show us your arse - oh, put it away, Hubert.


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: Bernard
Date: 12 Dec 08 - 06:55 AM

That was great - I always thought 'She Moved Through the Fair' should be done to a reggae beat!


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: Leadfingers
Date: 12 Dec 08 - 07:43 AM

Not a bad response - Jacqui offered to let me post the first one at Marlow Bottom acoustic , but I thought it only polite to let her have the fun !
I hope Roger and Simon (Guitar and Melodeon) see this !


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: Marje
Date: 12 Dec 08 - 07:43 AM

"I've got over that cold and my voice is just fine again now."

"Here's a song about how tough it ws working down the mines. I've been a miner for 30 years, so I should know."

"Just a moment while I check my tuning - it's not close enough for folk."

"Yes, we do mind if you sing 'Delilah' and 'Candle in the Wind'. This is a folk club. Don't you know any folk songs?"

[I'm really enjoying this thread, keep 'em coming!]

Marje


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: GUEST,boxbox
Date: 12 Dec 08 - 07:54 AM

Is that a kazoo in your pocket, or are you just pleased to see me?


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: Richard Bridge
Date: 12 Dec 08 - 08:01 AM

Genie - you may not believe it, but I HAVE heard that one, and seen it done...


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: GUEST
Date: 12 Dec 08 - 08:05 AM

Yes, we'd love to hear you play that medley of Hitler Youth marches you learned at the last BNP barbecue....


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: Spleen Cringe
Date: 12 Dec 08 - 08:29 AM

My oh my! What a lovely waistcoat!


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: The Villan
Date: 12 Dec 08 - 08:33 AM

Is there anybody witb a beard ?

Is there anybody wearing sandals?


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: Charley Noble
Date: 12 Dec 08 - 08:39 AM

"That was a really fine song and well sung, and I'll pass!"

Charley Noble


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: Spleen Cringe
Date: 12 Dec 08 - 08:48 AM

"I'm sorry, I can't serve you unless you show some ID"...


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: GUEST,Jonny Sunshine
Date: 12 Dec 08 - 08:55 AM

"how nice to see some older people here for a change"


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: trevek
Date: 12 Dec 08 - 08:55 AM

"Do you mind Beatles songs?"


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: GUEST,Chris B (Born Again Scouser)
Date: 12 Dec 08 - 09:23 AM

...If you've been affected by any of the issues in tonights songs and you'd like to speak to somebody in confidence...


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: Roger the Skiffler
Date: 12 Dec 08 - 09:31 AM

By popular request here's Roger & his wahsboard again...


RtS
(not even heard in my own home!)


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: Bryn Pugh
Date: 12 Dec 08 - 09:39 AM

You want to borrow my guitar AND put it in DADGAD ?


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: theleveller
Date: 12 Dec 08 - 11:20 AM

"No, no, I'm too drunk to sing shanties."

"Here's a song that looks at the miners' strike from the police perspective."

"What a shame they don't serve '95 Chateau Petrus by the glass."

"Can someone help me in with my drum kit?"


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: theleveller
Date: 12 Dec 08 - 11:59 AM

"I'm going to play Vaughn Williams' 5 variations on Dives and Lazarus on the tin whistle."

"I think Martin Carthy completely ruined Paul Simon's Scarborough Fair."


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Dec 08 - 12:24 PM

DRINKS ARE ON THE HOUSE!!!


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: The Villan
Date: 12 Dec 08 - 12:35 PM

This song is about breaking wind. I would like the ladies to do the first chorus and the gents the second chorus and then alternatively. Please don't hold back.


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 12 Dec 08 - 12:41 PM

SHUT THE F*** UP YOU BORING A***HOLE

:D (eG)


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: The Villan
Date: 12 Dec 08 - 12:51 PM

How dare you David LOL


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: greg stephens
Date: 12 Dec 08 - 01:28 PM

"Well, I'm not sure if this next song is a folksong or not. But that's not the sort of thing we're going to argue over, is it?"


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Dec 08 - 01:30 PM

Just talk among yourselves -- I can't sing worth a damn anyway.


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: Ythanside
Date: 12 Dec 08 - 01:32 PM

If any mofo makes a noise while I'm singing my pacifist song I'll put a cap in his ass.


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: Acorn4
Date: 12 Dec 08 - 01:38 PM

Is that a didgeridoo in your pocket or are yout VERY pleased to see me!

We're going to do "Dimming of the Day" without screwing up the chord sequence and harmonies in the B part.


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: Bodbum
Date: 12 Dec 08 - 01:50 PM

Somebody mentioned a Bodhran?
There's nothing wrong with a little subtle rhythm going on in the background.


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 12 Dec 08 - 04:44 PM

Just talk among yourselves ....

I actually have said this and meant it.


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: Herga Kitty
Date: 12 Dec 08 - 05:38 PM

I'm going to sing this song I learnt from [xxx], who's here tonight, but says she doesn't mind if I sing it.....

Kitty


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: The Villan
Date: 12 Dec 08 - 05:48 PM

If you need somebody to slip in bed with you tonight, I am available


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: The Villan
Date: 12 Dec 08 - 05:52 PM

Do you mind if I smoke?


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: The Villan
Date: 12 Dec 08 - 05:52 PM

Pass me the woodbines


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: The Villan
Date: 12 Dec 08 - 05:53 PM

Have you got a light boy?


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: Phil Edwards
Date: 12 Dec 08 - 06:41 PM

No, but I've got a dark brown... hang on, I'm not sure where that one's going.

SYSH: "...four fifty-seven, four fifty-eight, four fifty-nine, five! OK, that concludes our five-minute break, and to open up the second half..."


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: Leadfingers
Date: 12 Dec 08 - 06:51 PM

Fortunately , its a LONG time since I heard " This is a FOLK Club ! You are NOT here to enjoy yourselves!"


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: Genie
Date: 13 Dec 08 - 01:52 AM

"Genie - you may not believe it, but I HAVE heard that one, and seen it done."

Which one, Richard? The medley of Metallica songs?


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: Genie
Date: 13 Dec 08 - 01:54 AM

"This is the popular Yiddish version of "Tomorrow Belongs To Me."


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: Genie
Date: 13 Dec 08 - 01:55 AM

"Hey, boy, why dontcha get a haircut!?"


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: HuwG
Date: 13 Dec 08 - 02:52 AM

... and please give a warm welcome to Mr. B'Stard from the Performing Rights Society, who have done so much for the small arstist over the years.


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: Musket
Date: 13 Dec 08 - 06:07 AM

I'd love to hear your latest song about how bad it is in the mines, but unlike you, I am not a social worker, and I have to go now because I am on early days and have to be at shaft side by 5.30am.

Oh, hang on... I have heard it after all. It was me! (circa. 1979)


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: GUEST,boxbox
Date: 13 Dec 08 - 08:15 AM

I'll do this one in Ab so that everyone can play along....


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: GUEST,boxbox
Date: 13 Dec 08 - 08:21 AM

This song's about Robin Hood, an evil, conniving, thieving, murdering, no good terrorist....


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: GUEST
Date: 13 Dec 08 - 08:23 AM

This song's about Ned Kelly, an evil, conniving, thieving, murdering, no good terrorist....


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: Piers Plowman
Date: 13 Dec 08 - 09:36 AM

Whew! I thought I'd never get in. The line went all the way around the block!

... and this next number features our contra-bassoonist ...

With that voice and that face and that sound, the sky's the limit! Sign here on the dotted line. Sweetheart, I'm gonna make you a star!


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: Midchuck
Date: 13 Dec 08 - 09:40 AM

Whew! I thought I'd never get in. The line went all the way around the block!

I HAVE said that, and it was true. At the old Club 47 in the mid-sixties.

But not since, I'm afraid.

Peter


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: Little Hawk
Date: 13 Dec 08 - 10:59 AM

"What exactly is folk music anyway?"


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: GUEST
Date: 13 Dec 08 - 11:10 AM

Let's hear it for Mary who is going to play the accordion topless.


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: Gedi
Date: 13 Dec 08 - 11:21 AM

"Look out, that dogs about to piss up your leg! Whew it's ok, hes gone for the table leg instead."


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: Aeola
Date: 13 Dec 08 - 11:22 AM

If you want to join in it's in e-minor, or,,,, arn't you going to miss your last bus??


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 13 Dec 08 - 12:16 PM

I heard this song on X-Factor, last weekend.


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: G-Force
Date: 13 Dec 08 - 12:24 PM

OK we'll start now, it's 8.15 and we advertise an 8.15 start.


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: Richard Bridge
Date: 13 Dec 08 - 12:44 PM

Yes Genie, the Metallica.

Oh, and I've heard (from my late wife) of the pissing one too, except the dog was Eric Burdon, and it was the table leg he didn't piss on and Donovan's leg he did... at a party in south London

Oh, yes, and I've heard the farting one too, it was at Broadstairs in Neptune's Hall and it was the bloke they used to call "the Silly Solicitor" (not me) but they weren't real farts, they were farting noises made with the mouth.


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: stallion
Date: 13 Dec 08 - 12:57 PM

The rider is in the box and the rest is in the fridge


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: Art Thieme
Date: 13 Dec 08 - 01:41 PM

"Please, give me cancer!"

Art Thieme


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: Art Thieme
Date: 13 Dec 08 - 01:49 PM

Shakey eggs, sunny side up, with a bit of hot sauce and bacon, can be truly tasteful.


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: Ann N
Date: 13 Dec 08 - 01:58 PM

At a mainly singers folk club ....... '' Isn't it about time we had a few tunes from the musicians ....''


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: Ann N
Date: 13 Dec 08 - 02:26 PM

..... and at a mainly musicians club.....'' Let's have a couple of songs to break the monotony...''   :)


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: bluesbaby 2
Date: 13 Dec 08 - 02:59 PM

....actually heard one night in a Glasgow Folk Club..*written in the venacular* " would ye shut the **** up and get aff the CROSS...there's a
queue of Joiners' here needin the wood..

it WAS a real DIRE song!! :o)



b/baby 2


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: Richard Bridge
Date: 13 Dec 08 - 04:05 PM

The Mudcat is wonderful: so reliable! And that Diane Easby: so self-effacing and tactful despite her vast knowledge.


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: Genie
Date: 13 Dec 08 - 07:53 PM

Aw, gee, we've got 12 different instruments but only 3 guitars. Rats!"


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: Effsee
Date: 13 Dec 08 - 10:16 PM

Not heard nowadays..."You want bovver mate, I'll give you some bovver!"...Alex Campbell, c 1970.

Unlikely to be heard..."Yeh, that's my Rolls that's causing the parking problem, I'll shift it when I've finished me spot!"


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: DMcG
Date: 14 Dec 08 - 02:41 AM

I'd love to hear your latest song about how bad it is in the mines, but unlike you, I am not a social worker, and I have to go now because I am on early days and have to be at shaft side by 5.30am.

Oh, hang on... I have heard it after all. It was me! (circa. 1979)


Back in '75, I was at working man's club in a mining village, so virtually everyone there was a miner. I and my friends were asked to sing, and one of them genuinely thought 'Trimdon Grange' and 'The Springfield Mining disaster' might be good choices.


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: Folk Form # 1
Date: 14 Dec 08 - 03:24 AM

There's standing rom at the back.. just.


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: Bugsy
Date: 14 Dec 08 - 03:30 AM

As I've been known to say on many occasions,

"I'd love to stay on but I've got to somewhere and enjoy myself"

Cheers

Bugsy


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: Dave Sutherland
Date: 14 Dec 08 - 05:50 AM

"What are you on about - supposed to be traditional? All songs are traditional" no - I actually did hear that (Cambridge Festival 1975)


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: GUEST
Date: 14 Dec 08 - 08:02 AM

"and then Tyke bought me a pint"


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: kendall
Date: 14 Dec 08 - 08:04 AM

Padre still takes the prize! LOL


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: Leadfingers
Date: 14 Dec 08 - 08:05 AM

This is NOT a Christie Moore song , though he DID record it , as an intro to 'Black is the Colour'.


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: scouse
Date: 14 Dec 08 - 08:19 AM

I don't care who you are, You'll still have to pay to come in!!! Told to John Martyn, Eric Clapton an I've forgot who the female was when they went with Hamish Imlach to watch his gig!!!

As Aye,

Phil


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: greg stephens
Date: 14 Dec 08 - 09:25 AM

Here is one that, luckily, you seldom hear any more. Pray God it will be completely eliminated before I die.
This half sing Jackie Boy and this half sing Master.


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: GUEST
Date: 14 Dec 08 - 09:25 AM

Anyone know where I can score some tickets to see the AC/DC show?


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: Genie
Date: 14 Dec 08 - 01:02 PM

There's a prize, Kendall?


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: Faye Roche
Date: 14 Dec 08 - 01:22 PM

:-)

Can't improve on that lot!


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: romany man
Date: 15 Dec 08 - 02:47 AM

oh great the morris dancers are on,


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: Bugsy
Date: 15 Dec 08 - 03:15 AM

Romany Man, I can actually remember saying that once.

Cheers
Bugsy


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: kendall
Date: 15 Dec 08 - 07:05 AM

I never tire of hearing Tie a yellow ribbon 'round the old oak tree.


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: Spleen Cringe
Date: 15 Dec 08 - 07:46 AM

Instead of a raffle this week we're doing paint-balling...


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: TheSnail
Date: 15 Dec 08 - 07:52 AM

Spleen Cringe

Instead of a raffle this week we're doing paint-balling...

Now there's an idea for our last night at the Lewes Arms.


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: Bernard
Date: 15 Dec 08 - 11:01 AM

I wrote this song on the bus on my way here... but they made me leave the bus outside...


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: The Villan
Date: 15 Dec 08 - 11:10 AM

I am going to pay back all the money - Simon Boak Pickering Folk Festival - TRUST ME


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: Dead Horse
Date: 16 Dec 08 - 07:29 AM

"Could the first two rows move back a yard to give those wishing to dance a bit more room"


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: Folk Form # 1
Date: 16 Dec 08 - 07:46 AM

This is a very tradiotional old song. It is very boring and very long, but by God, it is traditional.


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: goatfell
Date: 16 Dec 08 - 08:05 AM

God those banjo players were brilliant weren't they and those fiddlers as well, I really enjoyed listening to them for two hours, brillant


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: melodeonboy
Date: 16 Dec 08 - 09:42 AM

"I've been up half the night practising this song. I'd be short-changing you if I didn't get it right!!"


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: greg stephens
Date: 16 Dec 08 - 09:55 AM

"I'd like you all to put your hands together for the guests tonight, the ever popular close harmony duo Diane Easeby and Lizzie Cornish"


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: melodeonboy
Date: 16 Dec 08 - 05:47 PM

Chuckle, chuckle!

Good one, Greg!


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: Phil Edwards
Date: 17 Dec 08 - 05:27 AM

"Thanks - that was the third best performance of that song we've heard tonight."

(Doesn't really count, as we actually heard this last night in Sale. Not only that, but a couple of acts later, somebody else did the same song* - although this time Don didn't tell them their overall ranking.)

*Fairytale of New York


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: evansakes
Date: 17 Dec 08 - 06:42 AM

"My goodness, the standard of floor singing is excellent here, isn't it? I've changed my mind about doing a spot now so can you take my name off the list please...I'd be afraid of showing myself up"


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: GUEST,Beeds
Date: 17 Dec 08 - 07:30 AM

The Highwayman? All 43 verses? Yes, an excellent choice, particularly since you've never sang in public before.


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: GUEST,KevBoyd
Date: 17 Dec 08 - 08:00 AM

Please feel free to sing along in whatever key takes your fancy.


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: GUEST,KevBoyd
Date: 17 Dec 08 - 08:05 AM

"Will the people in the cheaper seats clap your hands? And the rest of you, if you'll just rattle your jewelry." (Trad / Arr. Boyd)


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Dec 08 - 08:14 AM

Oh yes -- go ahead and take those mobile phone calls.


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: Waddon Pete
Date: 17 Dec 08 - 08:41 AM

"Oh no....I came without any crib sheets! Can I borrow yours?"


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: greg stephens
Date: 17 Dec 08 - 08:47 AM

"Please sing along, verses and chorus. And do use the words on your cribsheets: even if they are different to mine, they are probably supoerior as you got them off the internet"


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: fat B****rd
Date: 17 Dec 08 - 12:20 PM

"Gimme an F!!!"

"Ev'rybody say YEAH!!"

"Awopbopaloobop...."


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: GUEST,Bob Ryszkiewicz
Date: 17 Dec 08 - 12:26 PM

We aren't paying you enough for playing. Here, take some more cash...BR


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: Bugsy
Date: 17 Dec 08 - 10:42 PM

"Gimme an F!!!"

"Ev'rybody say YEAH!!"

Weren't they Country Joe Mcdonald lines?


CHeers

Bugsy


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: Musket
Date: 18 Dec 08 - 10:49 AM

And for all those who came to see Mr Garbutt, we just need to fit in another eight people singing about being a Norfolk reed cutter.


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: Genie
Date: 18 Dec 08 - 08:10 PM

"This trad. fiddle tune is in the key of F# and has an A part, a B part, a C part and a D part.
Each part is played through only once."


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: GUEST,Steve in Idaho
Date: 18 Dec 08 - 09:11 PM

You wear a pistol in this club? How clever - and what's the wire screen in front of the band for?


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: Richard Bridge
Date: 19 Dec 08 - 04:33 AM

TwickFolk - I have heard that one too.


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: Jack Blandiver
Date: 19 Dec 08 - 04:39 AM

Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs...

English Culture - what is it?


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: GUEST,OldNicKilby
Date: 19 Dec 08 - 06:07 AM

From a Scottish organiser in the East Midlands
"I HATE F>>>>>>G FOLK MUSIC"
I think that she really meant it


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 19 Dec 08 - 07:02 AM

Perhaps she meant she hates making a mess of it :-)

Another one -

No, I know it is late and the landlord wants us all to to go home but we realy don't mind you doing a medley of Matty Groves, Black Velvet Band and Famous Flower of Serving men for your last spot...

DeG


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: Acorn4
Date: 19 Dec 08 - 10:46 AM

or...


We've only got about ten minutes left, so I'll do a short one so that we can fit another couple of singers in.


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: GUEST,DaveMc
Date: 19 Dec 08 - 11:32 AM

Here's a pit song, in praise of Margaret Thatcher.... I learned it from the singing of Dick Gaughan (or was it Roy Bailey?). Please join in the chorus.


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: Acorn4
Date: 19 Dec 08 - 01:26 PM

I went up to my local the other night for an "open mike" - it was actually an open mike for bands, which I didn't realise at the time, but it was, in fact, very enjoyable with some good bands. What I didn't realise was that punk is, in fact, alive and well.

Two lads in their teens got up on stage, plugged in, switched the volume up to max, the lead singer then went:-

"ONE TWO, F*** YOU!"

and the rest of the lyrics were inaudible due to being drowned out by guitar, so I couldn't even ask :"How would you like me to f*** off?"

Don't think I would have heard this at a folk club!


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: Bob Hitchcock
Date: 20 Dec 08 - 10:19 AM

Things I have never heard while on tour.

- "I'm so happy we all had our own rooms at that Hilton"

- "Can you believe how much money we're making"

- "Isn't it wonderful how close these gigs are"

- "So what kind of long term investments are you into?"


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: The Sandman
Date: 20 Dec 08 - 12:35 PM

Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: greg stephens - PM
Date: 16 Dec 08 - 09:55 AM

"I'd like you all to put your hands together for the guests tonight, the ever popular close harmony duo Diane Easeby and Lizzie Cornish"
what happened to Ruth Archer.Ithought it was a menage de trois.


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: The Sandman
Date: 20 Dec 08 - 01:00 PM

we made so much money last year ,that we are going to give every member of the audience, one pound.


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: The Sandman
Date: 20 Dec 08 - 01:08 PM

or we are sending all our floorsingers to a singing workshop with Britney Spears.


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Dec 08 - 01:18 PM

I could sing soprano before I had the operation.


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: Acorn4
Date: 20 Dec 08 - 06:49 PM

This is a slight variation on the first post on the thread:-

We normally sing this in Eb, but we'll do it in D so you can provide some subtle accompaniment on your melodeon!


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Dec 08 - 07:08 PM

I learned this next song from an old cowboy...well, he wasn't really a cowboy, more of a farmer I guess, but anyway, he rode a big horse, a bay if I remember, with a really working saddle, like he'd been riding all of his life which was probably the case, and you remember that scene in "Deliverance" with the banjos? well, he was better than any other banjo picker I've ever seen on a six-string fretless, sort of like the one Doc Watson might have used if he'd been a banjo picker but anyway, this old codger was could pick a rhythm better than anyone else and did he ever know the those old songs only it would cost you a bottle of whiskey to get him to sing them because you had to sort of lubricate his throat and loosen him up before he'd.... Oh, I'm sorry, I see I'm out of time, so let's close this set with "Michael Row The Board Ashore."


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 21 Dec 08 - 02:48 PM

doing this on a dare from Melodeonboy

"And now for something cheerful, let's hear it for Richard Bridge" Sorry Richard the shirtmurderer made me do it.


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: Richard Bridge
Date: 21 Dec 08 - 05:17 PM

Hey! I did do Uncle Joe! Next time you ask for it you get Fall Rver Hoedown (American, and of course I don't play American) in stead. And I did the Grey Cock, which only involves the walking dead and therefore necrophilia. And Admiral Benbow, and he only dies after the end of the song so the only dead are French and they don't count! And I did Cupid's Garden which has no deaths at all, only the impending separation of the lovers for up to 7 years (a naval tour of duty). You're right, I must be ill.

And I am also nothing beside the Mistress of Misery, Marian Button.

And so to the statement: "Yous just wait! I'll have "Dead Skunk in the Middle of the Road" note perfect by next week".


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 22 Dec 08 - 04:41 AM

Countin on it! Well if I could count. Children go where I send thee is a telling indication of my maths skills.

There! You have now been out self-deprecated.


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: Richard Bridge
Date: 22 Dec 08 - 06:20 PM

I liked Sheppy Paul's telling indication of its religious accuracy too!


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 23 Dec 08 - 02:55 AM

ARRGGHHH! Must find another set of lyrics now... And I liked 5 Gospel Writers. Damnation!

But hey a quick look at Wikithingie shows there are non-canonical gospels. Q, Thomas, Peter and Judas.   

Well there are lyrics that say 5 for the 5 deriders. Could it be 5 for the Gospel deriders? I wonder if that is how there came to be this glaring inaccuracy. Somebody misheard Gospel Deriders as Gospel Writers.

hmmmmm


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: Piers Plowman
Date: 23 Dec 08 - 03:28 AM

Easy Derider,
See what you done done.


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: The Villan
Date: 23 Dec 08 - 06:14 AM

I am going to sing Hallalujah, Alexandra Burke style

Would you please refrain from joining in the chorus, as you are all pretty crap at singing.


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: GUEST,TJ in San Diego
Date: 23 Dec 08 - 11:26 AM

I really enjoyed the double bassoon solo in "Silent Night." Would you mind doing it again? Oh, by the way; I have to disagree with that chap on your right. I thought the oud was the perfect choice for "O Little Town of Bethlehem."


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: Phil Edwards
Date: 23 Dec 08 - 01:41 PM

Still a few tickets left for next week's Child Ballad night!


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: Jack Campin
Date: 23 Dec 08 - 02:26 PM

I should think an ud would work very well for Christmas carols. I'll get mine out and have a go. I'd never thought of it before.


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: GUEST,pip
Date: 23 Dec 08 - 03:57 PM

would you like a drink?


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: Richard Bridge
Date: 23 Dec 08 - 04:54 PM

Apart from "Bold Robert Emmett" my favourite song about the heroes on both sides of the Irish war of independence would be Harvey Andrews' "The Soldier".


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: Brakn
Date: 23 Dec 08 - 05:08 PM

"Do you want us to join in the chorus of Amarillo?"
"It'll save you having to look at your crib sheet"


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: Cool Beans
Date: 23 Dec 08 - 05:50 PM

Open mic performers who really suck MUST adhere to the time limit.


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: johnross
Date: 24 Dec 08 - 12:35 AM

"I learned this at the foot of my father's phonograph"
(apologies to Bill Steele)

"I wrote this song about the hardships of growing up in Marin County."
[Note to British readers: Marin is a suburb of San Francisco; one of the wealthiest places in the US]


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: Genie
Date: 24 Dec 08 - 03:23 AM

Inkeeper/Pub Owner: "C'mon, you folkies.   I know I need the money, but why don't you guys take a break from ordering food and drinks and play a few tunes?"


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: GUEST,Anon for obvious reasons
Date: 24 Dec 08 - 04:00 AM

Sorry - I've just seen this post

"Look out, that dogs about to piss up your leg! Whew it's ok, hes gone for the table leg instead."

A true story (& why I have used a pseudonym)

I was singing in a very small folk club.
My girlfriend was sitting in the front row six feet away from me.
A guy had his weimaraner with him.
The dog got VERY visibly excited & kept jumping on my lady.

I managed to finish the set without laughing but just wondered if any other catters have had to use the phrase,
'Would you mind stopping your dog from raping my wife?'


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: Leadfingers
Date: 24 Dec 08 - 04:44 AM

200


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: Peace
Date: 24 Dec 08 - 10:06 PM

Is that Telecaster pre-1962?


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: Tim Leaning
Date: 25 Dec 08 - 10:20 AM

I wish I HAD heard some of the above - especially "Thanks for helping with the harmony, Tim", cos it's too long since I've seen you, mate!.
Awwwww
Merry christmas BBP you are lovely.


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: GUEST,KevBoyd
Date: 06 Feb 09 - 09:19 AM

"And now for my next carefully rehearsed and highly polished performance..."


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 06 Feb 09 - 09:21 AM

snork!!! good to know people are trundling around the other threads picking up these gems.


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: GUEST,John from Kemsing
Date: 06 Feb 09 - 09:41 AM

I`d just like to sing you my latest protest song. I tells of the trials, tribulations and costs of running and insuring a Porsche!!"


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: Musket
Date: 06 Feb 09 - 10:14 AM

Is that an oboe? Oh really? I thought it was kindling for a bassoon fire...


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 06 Feb 09 - 10:21 AM

Anyone got any "new" songs about the financial downturn or the queues at the job centre?

Someone should start a thread about Statements we ARE likely to hear at folk clubs.


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: Aeola
Date: 06 Feb 09 - 12:30 PM

Perfect!! I'll try this new one before Carnegie next month!!!


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: Art Thieme
Date: 28 Feb 09 - 10:42 PM

What brand condom do...

Art


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: Bugsy
Date: 28 Feb 09 - 11:23 PM

Here's one I've NEVER heard at a folk club.

"There are no strangers here, just friends we haven't met"

Cheers

Bugsy


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: Clontarf83
Date: 28 Feb 09 - 11:51 PM

(heard at a Dublin concert....)

"this is a song Mick Jagger wrote when he was still alive,,,,"

(ruby tuesday)


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: Don Firth
Date: 01 Mar 09 - 12:15 AM

"Play something we can dance to. Play 'Mattie Groves'. . . ."

Don Firth


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: Don Firth
Date: 01 Mar 09 - 12:17 AM

"Does anyone here know all the verses to 'Greensleeves?'"

Don Firth


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: Jayto
Date: 01 Mar 09 - 12:33 AM

"That distortion on that banjo is sweet!"

"The accordian player always gets the women."

"The folk band playing here tonight will be a little late going on tonight because thier personal jet has encountered bad weather and it delayed their landing."

" I'll pay for that I have more money than I know what to do with thanks to folk gigs."


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: Genie
Date: 01 Mar 09 - 03:17 AM

OK, who else knows any Duke Ellington or Charlie Mingus?


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Subject: RE: Statements you seldom hear at folk clubs
From: Dave Hanson
Date: 01 Mar 09 - 03:17 AM

Yeah, thats the banjo players Porche.

Dave H


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