BS: The key to nomicseco.

Subject: BS: The key to nomicseco.
From: Peace
Date: 10 Dec 08 - 07:14 PM

It's in code, fyi. Didn't want it spread all over creation before people get a chance to tell their stockbroker(s) about the coming thing.

TOILET PAPER.

I have discovered a new way to blow my nose. Had a month of sinus trouble and decided to put two plugs in my nostrils--the plugs were wet toilet tissue, unused until that moment. After twenty seconds, I then blew my nose. Voila: both plugs came out and had done their work. It now makes it possible to blow my nose gently, and does away with the need for small amounts of Semtex or C-4. I think the idea will catch on. There are hundreds of millions of people who suffer from sinus problems. The plug idea will expand toilet paper sales by at least 22.682% according to our market analyst (who recently gave up smoking marijuana). Anyway, I figured that Mudcatters should be first to get in on a new stock trend.

Subject: RE: BS: The key to nomicseco.
From: Jeri
Date: 10 Dec 08 - 07:38 PM

When I had my sinus surgery years ago, the Dr left some drainage tube thingies in my nose for a few days. I think you could probably achieve the same result with cocktail straws. The only problem would be guessing how far they go in: not far enough and they don't keep the passages open, too far and you get a DIY lobotomy. I should also say that removal of my drainage tube thingies was the absolutely most intense pain I've ever felt, even if it only lasted about .1 seconds.

I'm sorry you had evil alien snot up your nose, Bruce. Netti pots or a saline rinse probably are more effective than jamming wads of wet toilet tissue up your schnoz. At least you wouldn't be sneezing dingleberries for weeks afterwords.

Subject: RE: BS: The key to nomicseco.
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 10 Dec 08 - 07:56 PM

I've been suffering from nasal congestion for a week or so myself. However, instead of making the paper companies richer by consuming huge amounts of their products, I've been working on perfecting the old one-handed blow. You know, close off one nostril by pressing a finger against it, and blow the other nostril as hard as possible without having part of your brain come out. Then, assuming you're still conscious, repeat the process holding the opposite nostril. The objective is to blow with enough force that the resulting issue flies at least ten feet away, thereby assuring that no wiping is required, thus saving both money and trees.

WARNING: This method of mucous removal is recommended primarily for those living in rural areas who have easy access to woods, compost piles, or other suitable depositories. Performing the one-handed blow procedure indoors, while walking in city crowds, or while driving is NOT recommended.

Subject: RE: BS: The key to nomicseco.
From: GUEST,Peace
Date: 10 Dec 08 - 10:38 PM

This is not about something as paltry as 'blowing one's nose.' I'm working on saving the stock market and the world economy. You people . . . .

Subject: RE: BS: The key to nomicseco.
From: catspaw49
Date: 10 Dec 08 - 11:17 PM

Well then use GM stock for your asswipes instead!

Spaw