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BS: Who Wants to be Car Czar???

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Bobert 10 Dec 08 - 07:40 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 10 Dec 08 - 08:35 PM
Bobert 10 Dec 08 - 08:44 PM
Rapparee 10 Dec 08 - 08:54 PM
Bobert 10 Dec 08 - 09:16 PM
Richard Bridge 10 Dec 08 - 09:18 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 10 Dec 08 - 09:23 PM
Rapparee 10 Dec 08 - 10:11 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 10 Dec 08 - 11:28 PM
Ed T 11 Dec 08 - 07:07 AM
gnu 11 Dec 08 - 07:39 AM
Bobert 11 Dec 08 - 07:56 AM
JJ 11 Dec 08 - 08:27 AM
Rapparee 11 Dec 08 - 09:12 AM
gnu 11 Dec 08 - 09:33 AM
Phot 11 Dec 08 - 09:49 AM
Alice 11 Dec 08 - 10:08 AM
catspaw49 11 Dec 08 - 10:19 AM
Bill D 11 Dec 08 - 11:28 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 11 Dec 08 - 11:49 AM
Bill D 11 Dec 08 - 12:13 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 11 Dec 08 - 05:08 PM
Bill D 11 Dec 08 - 05:31 PM
Bobert 11 Dec 08 - 05:52 PM
Big Al Whittle 11 Dec 08 - 06:09 PM
JohnInKansas 11 Dec 08 - 08:35 PM
Ed T 11 Dec 08 - 09:07 PM
John on the Sunset Coast 12 Dec 08 - 12:01 AM
Art Thieme 12 Dec 08 - 06:14 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 12 Dec 08 - 10:25 PM
Phot 13 Dec 08 - 12:29 AM

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Subject: BS: Who Wants to be Car Czar???
From: Bobert
Date: 10 Dec 08 - 07:40 PM

Well, with all this alk about a "Car Czar" that is going to ciome with the Big Three Bailout I was figuring that I'd throw my hat in the ring... Yeah, I know there are others here who want that job, too so I figured that maybe I'd get a jump on them and throw out a few ideas that I've have spinin' in my head about cars:

1. Flame paint jobs has gotta be an option... I don't care if the think does 0-to-60 in a friggin' calendar year I want to see more flames on the new Detroit models...

2. I also wanta see moon discs returned to their rightfull place... Moon discs- no, not baby moons and trims rings- whould be standard because they cut down on drag and provide better gas mileage and look cool, too...

3. The carburator should also be an option and with it a little tool kit, instruction manual and an assortment of air and fuel jets for weekend tinkering.. Multiple carbs should also be an option for those long weekends...

4. Buicks should be banned from the planet and any late model Buicks that are painted gold should be repainted because I have noticed that 90% of the folks who drive 40mph in a 55 zone drive gold Buicks...

6. The Chevette should be brought back but with flames, moon discs, floorboards that don't rust out while they are still on the assembly line and with nice little V-6's in 'um...

7. Ford should buy back every Tempo it ever made and send an apology to the folks who got suckered into buying them...

8. The worker slaves who assemble the Hondas and Toyotas in Mississippi should be paid a wage that lifts them at least 25% above the poverty line...

9. All new cars should have hand-free cell phones and voice activated text messaging so folks can keep two hand on the wheel while still do all the other important stuff...

10. Each of the Big Three must provide a limited number of cars that will be sold thru a lottery that are capable of 12 second quarter miles...

Yeah, them's a a few of the things that I been working on so...

...fir all you Car Czar Wantabees, lets her yers...

BTW, I have it on good resources that Obama is reading this thread...

Bobert


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Subject: RE: BS: Who Wants to be Car Czar???
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 10 Dec 08 - 08:35 PM

Yeah, I'd like to know who it is that they're gonna find who has enough talent and know-how to oversee the operations of three of the largest corporations in the world... while having every politician in Washington looking over his shoulder... for an annual salary roughly equivalent to that of a moderately successful orthodontist.

Might as well just give the job to Bobert. He acts sorta like he wants it. Nobody else does.


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Subject: RE: BS: Who Wants to be Car Czar???
From: Bobert
Date: 10 Dec 08 - 08:44 PM

I do want it, Beezer... I want it so bad that I'll work for a dollar a year...No, I'm allready doing that... How about minimum wage???

B~


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Subject: RE: BS: Who Wants to be Car Czar???
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Dec 08 - 08:54 PM

How about if you pay them so that you're sure they'd do that stuff?

And let's bring back the Karman Ghia. And the Ford Falcon.


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Subject: RE: BS: Who Wants to be Car Czar???
From: Bobert
Date: 10 Dec 08 - 09:16 PM

You be da' man, Rap...

My two favorite cars... I just sold my '63 Giro this past Feb and back in '65 when my dad worked for Ford, I coulda had wahtever I wanted... Mustangs were the rave... I had hi order me a '65 Falcon Futura 2 door hardtop... Only one was made the way it came... Had a 289/271 high performance with a top loader 4 speed...

Prolly worth half a million bucks today seein' as it was a one of a kind...

It was one badass Falcon... I remember one night my next door neighbor coming home from teh Naval Academy... He has a 389 GTO and he got lippin' so I said "Let's go, Big Boy" and next thing ya' know the two cars wer lined up right there at the light at Hillwoood Ave in Falls Church, Va. 'bout 11 at night and that Falcon smoked that Goat so bad that that Navy boy never ever talked cars around me ever again... I mean, that Falcon was a legit 12 second quarter miler nad that GTO was like a 14 seconf quarter miler...

And there weren't any Mustangs in NoVa wanted no part of it either... Might of fact, none wanted any parts of it... The entire summer of '65 it ruled NoVa....

No brag, just fact...

Now can I have the job??? I am a gearhead... Really...

B~


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Subject: RE: BS: Who Wants to be Car Czar???
From: Richard Bridge
Date: 10 Dec 08 - 09:18 PM

Give all terrorists and illegal immigrants a Corvair. That should give the US car-makers something to do and control the target population at the same time.

Put an extra duty on independent rear suspension.

A progressive tax on octane rating - no tax on 70 octane rising to 10 times present tax on 100 octane.

Make a 10mph bumper (like the old 5 mph ones) compulsory.

That should stop imports.

Ban seat belts and put a 9 inch spike in the middle of the steering wheel - that would reduce demands on hospitals because many car accident victims would die in stead of needing treatment.

Japanese style annual car tests.


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Subject: RE: BS: Who Wants to be Car Czar???
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 10 Dec 08 - 09:23 PM

If the American auto industry is going to make a comeback, they're not going to do it by trying to compete head-to-head with Toyota and Honda on their own turf. They need to do a flanking maneuver on Toyota and Honda and beat them to the punch on reliable, long-range, inexpensive electric-powered cars.

The #1 technological priority in the US should be developing a battery that would make electric cars a truly viable alternative to conventional ones. The technology to make the cars is already in place but it's not really going to go anywhere until someone comes up with a battery that will provide a reasonable number of miles between charges, at a reasonable cost, and without weighing a ton. If the government really wants to do something for the auto industry it should put together a modern-day "Manhatan Project" whose goal is to create that battery.


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Subject: RE: BS: Who Wants to be Car Czar???
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Dec 08 - 10:11 PM

The electric vehicle also has to be viable out here in the looooooong distances and mountains. It must tow a small trailer (such as we use for our bookwagon -- 6' high x 5' wide x 8' long) on Interstate grades at no less than 10 mph under the speed limit.

It's 50 miles each way to the nearest Barnes & Noble bookstore, so a vehicle that gets 40 miles on a charge isn't going to do me a lot of good, except for exercise.


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Subject: RE: BS: Who Wants to be Car Czar???
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 10 Dec 08 - 11:28 PM

Nope. It needs to get about 400 miles per charge - about the same as most cars get from a tankful of gasoline. That's about as far as I wanna drive in one day, anyway.


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Subject: RE: BS: Who Wants to be Car Czar???
From: Ed T
Date: 11 Dec 08 - 07:07 AM

Cars with more head room up front, for pimps and girls of the night.


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Subject: RE: BS: Who Wants to be Car Czar???
From: gnu
Date: 11 Dec 08 - 07:39 AM

Great ideas, especially Ed T (sans pimps). The Chrysler dealership up the road from me almost got that one right. If you buy a 2008 or a used vehicle, you get a "free" snowblower. Now, if they could just extrapolate that a wee bit....


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Subject: RE: BS: Who Wants to be Car Czar???
From: Bobert
Date: 11 Dec 08 - 07:56 AM

Hey, ya'll ever heard of the Tesla Roadster...

0-60 in 6 second on batteries!!!

That's what I'm talkin' about...

B~


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Subject: RE: BS: Who Wants to be Car Czar???
From: JJ
Date: 11 Dec 08 - 08:27 AM

"Car Czar?" No, no! "Autocrat!"


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Subject: RE: BS: Who Wants to be Car Czar???
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Dec 08 - 09:12 AM

How about if you buy a new snowblower and they give you a free Chrysler?


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Subject: RE: BS: Who Wants to be Car Czar???
From: gnu
Date: 11 Dec 08 - 09:33 AM

I need sommat more useful, Rap. And something I can fit into. I sat in a Jeep and I can't put my left arm by my side. Now, I am about 40 pounds overweight, but even if I lost it, my left arm would still hit the door. Not so in the Toyota FJ Cruiser. They must be making the Jeep for the Japanese market.


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Subject: RE: BS: Who Wants to be Car Czar???
From: Phot
Date: 11 Dec 08 - 09:49 AM

Get a Landrover Gnu!

Wassail!! Chris


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Subject: RE: BS: Who Wants to be Car Czar???
From: Alice
Date: 11 Dec 08 - 10:08 AM

I hate how "Czar" is tacked onto some of these position labels.
AAARRGH
Fingernails on a chalkboard cringe whenever I hear it.


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Subject: RE: BS: Who Wants to be Car Czar???
From: catspaw49
Date: 11 Dec 08 - 10:19 AM

First, no one in an entry level management or labor position can make more than a teacher in the same community. Then the salary of the CEO cannot be more than 50 times that amount with a bonus or payback program based on performance goals...similar but less for other execs. Tie anything above a base to goals and profit.

Monstrous bonuses will be paid to any engineering team with a significant breakthrough. On the other hand, all engineers will have to spend 6 months in the field as working mechanics during their first two years of employment. There is no need for a monstrous variety of blower motors or heater cores within a product line nor is there any sound reason that either of those things should take longer than 45 minutes to change out. There are any number of other things that need to be addressed along those lines. Maybe if THEY had to do the work they would improve their engineering skills.

Every automaker will have two years to get their product line moving in the right direction. CAFE standards will be eliminated and every product will have to live or die on its own merit. After two years, any vehicle not meeting a combined 25 mpg will not be sold in the US. After four years the figure will be 30mpg and at six years, 35 mpg. I will personally design the "Measurement Loop" and write the additional rules.

Buyers will be given financial assistance, credit assistance, and tax benefits when purchasing a new vehicle meeting the standards. This program will be setup to run a maximum of ten years.

All states will have a "Gas Guzzer Tax" added to the yearly licensing fees of such magnitude as to make it prohibitive to own one. After six years all gasoline driven vehicles will have to apply for and receive a rationing tag (like WWII). Each tag will allow no more than 50 gallons per month, one tag per vehicle.

For those insisting on gas powered cars we will bring back the Pinto 1600, the Vega, the Corvair, and the '66 Datsun Sedan which could not even make 60 mph in a quarter mile.

The Czar himself will be allowed the car of his choice of course with an unlimited supply of fuel. I will take a '68 Vette with the race-ready L-88 Engine.....(Sweet Jesus ain't that thing fuckin' beautiful?)


I have more along with truck standards but I doubt I'll get the Vette so I don't want the job.


Spaw


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Subject: RE: BS: Who Wants to be Car Czar???
From: Bill D
Date: 11 Dec 08 - 11:28 AM

I'll take the job if....

Fall-back concept


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Subject: RE: BS: Who Wants to be Car Czar???
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 11 Dec 08 - 11:49 AM

Bill's onto something with that second photo.

#1 requirement for the Car Czar job? Must be Amish.

Hey, they let the Pope make rules about sex, why not let someone who doesn't drive run the auto industry?


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Subject: RE: BS: Who Wants to be Car Czar???
From: Bill D
Date: 11 Dec 08 - 12:13 PM

"#1 requirement for the Car Czar job? Must be Amish."

working on it!

2nd fall-back concept...for us poor folk


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Subject: RE: BS: Who Wants to be Car Czar???
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 11 Dec 08 - 05:08 PM

WAIT A MINUTE! I have been struck by an epiphany! Screw the Amish! Screw Bobert! The "Car Czar" should be none other than (drum roll, please) the CEO of Hasbro Toys!

"Why?" you ask? Well, because Hasbro is the maker of Transformers! If the Hasbro guy was Car Czar he could drag some of the young geniouses who design Transformers with him to Detroit. We could really have cell-phones and toasters that fold out and turn into cars and trucks! Wouldn't you like to have a CD boom-box that turns into a Ford E-350 cargo van?

It would solve the parking problem; just fold your car up, take it in the office with you, and use it as a foot massager while you slave away at your desk. And it would solve the road rage problem; nobody's going to cut you off in traffic if they know that, with the push of a button, your car will turn into a vicious 50-foot tall robot armed with twin Gatling guns!

I am such a genius! I'm sure that when Prez-Elect Obama hears of my idea he will not merely endorse it, but will insist that I, not he, be named Time Magazine's Man of the Year!


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Subject: RE: BS: Who Wants to be Car Czar???
From: Bill D
Date: 11 Dec 08 - 05:31 PM

Boy, I think you are onto something there, Bee-Dub.


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Subject: RE: BS: Who Wants to be Car Czar???
From: Bobert
Date: 11 Dec 08 - 05:52 PM

Are you nutz, Beezer???

You ain't gonna get no 6 second 0-to-60 toaster... Heck I got oneof these new high teck summabiches now that takes 4 minutes just to toast a couple slices of danged Wonder bread...

Yeah, I don't need no foldin' toaster guy runnin' nuthin' except for the county line...

B~


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Subject: RE: BS: Who Wants to be Car Czar???
From: Big Al Whittle
Date: 11 Dec 08 - 06:09 PM

Take for a ride in yo' car, czar!
take me fo' ride in yo' car

I think Woody Guthrie said that,


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Subject: RE: BS: Who Wants to be Car Czar???
From: JohnInKansas
Date: 11 Dec 08 - 08:35 PM

We could really have cell-phones and toasters that fold out and turn into cars and trucks!

See last picture: It Was NOT A COMMERCIAL SUCCESS

(Also see first picture for the mouse reportedly used by Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull - to go with his keyboard previously cited in another thread.)

John



John


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Subject: RE: BS: Who Wants to be Car Czar???
From: Ed T
Date: 11 Dec 08 - 09:07 PM

http://www.lexam.net/peter/carnut/oddball.html


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Subject: RE: BS: Who Wants to be Car Czar???
From: John on the Sunset Coast
Date: 12 Dec 08 - 12:01 AM

If the proposed auto bailout were any closer to 'nationalization' of the industry, it would be 'nationalization'. So much for even the appearance of capitalism as a way of life in the USA. This is the first of many steps folks.

I expect to look down (or up) in perhaps 25 years and not recognize the country. If I'm still living, I'll be drooling and won't give a damn about what's going on.

It was a grand experiment.


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Subject: RE: BS: Who Wants to be Car Czar???
From: Art Thieme
Date: 12 Dec 08 - 06:14 PM

CAR CZAR
after Woody Guthrie

They're goin' for a ride with a car czar,
Goin' for a ride with a car czar,
Goin' for a ride with a car czar,
Goin' for a ride with a car czar.

Click, clack, see those dollars add up,
(3 times)
The car czar is my friend.


OOOOOGA- OOOGA open the door,
Stuff the cash inside the door
I'm goin for a ride with a car czar.

ADD YOUR OWN VERSES

Art Thieme


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Subject: RE: BS: Who Wants to be Car Czar???
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 12 Dec 08 - 10:25 PM

When they bail out the musical instrument manufacturing sector I'm gonna apply for the job of Guitar Czar.


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Subject: RE: BS: Who Wants to be Car Czar???
From: Phot
Date: 13 Dec 08 - 12:29 AM

Hell, I lost the plot on this thread. Them Toyta hybrids, get real. Just get a Golf Diesel. More MPG than any Hybrid. If I Can get 50mpg from a Skoda Octavia 1.8L 20 Valve Turbo(Petrol,not Diesel)(Just discovered the joy of wheelspin at 60 in third!) Just think how much fun it will be to try and recycle a car with that much heavy metal.

I admit that the V8 in my Discovery is not the kindest engine to the planet. But the old girl runs about 3000 miles a year now, and as of January will undergo a full rebuild,( I intend to do a blog if you want to know) after 20 years on the road(And off!) She will probably outlast me! But Fiona still won't drive the old girl!!
(Even if I do put in a 4.6V8)

Wassail!! Chris


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