Excuses why a 'song' went wrong

Subject: RE: Excuses why a 'song' went wrong
From: Jack Blandiver
Date: 13 Dec 08 - 02:32 PM

Polite dissent here, Beard. At least whence I come from.

It was the presence of the crib-sheet on that occasion that made me muck it up. I rarely use them & my advice to all singers of traditional material is generally to use the force! But whatever works for you - I've no problems with any approach.

Karl Heinz Stockhausen

With respect to the great man, let's at least get his name right. Karlheinz Stockhausen (22 August 1928 – 5 December 2007). I am honoured to share his birthday (albeit some 33 years his junior) and I am also honoured to have had one of my compositions featured on the Sonic Arts Network Otherness CD (Spring 2007), which also featured work by Stockhausen.

Subject: RE: Excuses why a 'song' went wrong
From: Piers Plowman
Date: 13 Dec 08 - 09:43 AM

From: GUEST,Val - PM
Date: 11 Dec 08 - 11:11 AM

"I play a tenor recorder. That means ten or more of the notes will be wrong."

Did you drive to the gig in a Rolls Canardly?

(It rolls down one hill and canardly get up the next.)

Subject: RE: Excuses why a 'song' went wrong
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 13 Dec 08 - 07:02 AM

Brilliant David.

Here's mine....

Song went wrong because....umm er... I was singing it.

Subject: RE: Excuses why a 'song' went wrong
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 13 Dec 08 - 06:49 AM

Now that WAS a genuine dickhead, Genie. Guinness is too expensive to spill. Bet he was no folk purist:-)

Just remembered another - Strange sounds, completely unrelated to the song, often come out of my concertina. I explain it as Jazz...

(Duck and run from the Jazz fans)

DeG

Subject: RE: Excuses why a 'song' went wrong
From: Genie
Date: 13 Dec 08 - 05:31 AM

Yup.
Kudos!

G

Subject: RE: Excuses why a 'song' went wrong
From: Acorn4
Date: 13 Dec 08 - 05:28 AM

Did you notice the way I craftily slipped in that chord by Karl Heinz Stockhausen?

Subject: RE: Excuses why a 'song' went wrong
From: Genie
Date: 13 Dec 08 - 05:12 AM

Polite dissent here, Beard. At least whence I come from.
As I said earlier, I often find the mere availability of a "crib sheet" enables me to sing a (complex, long, or newly learned) song with neither a glitch nor a need to look at that paper.
The availability of that 'crutch' frees me from that "OMG! I've forgotten the first word of the third verse!" moment.

It's kind of like a trapeze artist having a net. Probably never needed, but it sure could up your confidence -- hence, your performance.

:D

Genie

Subject: RE: Excuses why a 'song' went wrong
From: Jack Blandiver
Date: 13 Dec 08 - 05:06 AM

Excellent idea for a thread, Ron - and an excellent thread too, jolly entertaining to boot.

At the Wrecks & Rescues show on Thursday night, having been appointed to understudy for my dear darling wife on account of her having lost her voice, I spent much of the day learning her song until I was word perfect. In the performance, however, I took the precaution of having the words nearby. All went swimmingly until the penultimate line, when I glanced at the crib-sheet and got the whole thing in a muddle as a consequence. Thus did can't keep the deep beneath my feet, become can't keep my feet beneath the deep.

So there's my excuse - the song went wrong because I used a crib sheet.

There are folk clubs in a certain city in the North-East of the UK (famous for its many bridges, proprietary brand of fine bottled opaque ale, university degree course in something called Folk Music and a quirky monthly adult-orientated comic which continues to be a national institution despite the fact that it isn't as funny as it used to be) where the use of crib sheets is strictly forbidden. Consequently, the songs usually go right.

Subject: RE: Excuses why a 'song' went wrong
From: Genie
Date: 13 Dec 08 - 04:39 AM

OK, here's my best 'excuse':

"Some dickhead spilled Guinness on my crib sheet!"

Subject: RE: Excuses why a 'song' went wrong
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 13 Dec 08 - 04:26 AM

No, Silas. I am not going to 'leave it there'. I had no argument with anyone until you told me to bugger off and leave this thread. And why? Because I said that it was wrong to call people dickheads! You told me to bugger off for doing so and I believe I deserve an explanation at least. 'Lets just leave it there' leave us all wondering what it is.

If you believe I have broken some Mudcat rule please feel free to contact the moderators to delete my post. I suspect if you do though they may well tell you to 'bugger off', in the nicest possible way of course:-)

Looking forward to further comments.

Cheers

DeG

Subject: RE: Excuses why a 'song' went wrong
From: Herga Kitty
Date: 12 Dec 08 - 05:59 PM

I brought the wrong specs, so I can't read the words.....

Kitty (surprised that no-one posted that excuse before!)

Subject: RE: Excuses why a 'song' went wrong
From: Silas
Date: 12 Dec 08 - 04:36 PM

Well that 'other' thread is approaching 1100 posts, so have your freedom of speech over there - eh?

Give the rest of us a break.

Subject: RE: Excuses why a 'song' went wrong
From: Bernard
Date: 12 Dec 08 - 04:30 PM

Erm... Silas... why so tetchy? You're in danger of becoming a member of the Folk Police!! Chill!

;o)

Freedom of speech... mutter, mutter...

Subject: RE: Excuses why a 'song' went wrong
From: Silas
Date: 12 Dec 08 - 03:00 PM

You are polluting this otherwise excellent thread with the interminable argument from the 'manners' thread - lets just leave it there.

Subject: RE: Excuses why a 'song' went wrong
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 12 Dec 08 - 12:31 PM

Hey - All I did was point out it wasn't right to call people dickheads! What have I done to deserve this disapproval Silas? I thought I was the epitome of restraint in the circumstances. Just as I am now. I won't tell you what I usualy do to people who tell me to bugger of in case I frighten the horses...

:D (eG)

Subject: RE: Excuses why a 'song' went wrong
From: Silas
Date: 12 Dec 08 - 12:19 PM

I think goatfel and el g a should bugger off back to the manners thread and leave this one alone.

Subject: RE: Excuses why a 'song' went wrong
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 12 Dec 08 - 11:51 AM

Glad to be of service Mr Slade:-D

I like the concept of half a dickhead - Which half is it though? :-) Trouble is I have forgot what I was going to say now...

DeG

Subject: RE: Excuses why a 'song' went wrong
From: GUEST,Warwick Slade
Date: 12 Dec 08 - 11:20 AM

Oh I do love a good spat. Goatfell and Gnomo keep it up. As for me I use a crib sheet at sing-a-round type evenings but I do try to learn the words at gigs or floor spots. Does that make me half a dickhead?
When I do forget the words I jump to the next bit I remember and say there was a crack inthe record. No very funny but it breaks the tension.

Subject: RE: Excuses why a 'song' went wrong
From: Bobert
Date: 12 Dec 08 - 11:19 AM

Hey, ya'll.... Ain't that what the "sound guy" is for???

Sorry about that song... The sound guy really had things messed up...

Unfotunely, it is sometimes true...

I have one bad performance this year which was very inopertune seein' as I was opening for Sparky and Ronda Rucker and the sound guy was very incooperative and I ended up having to trash my own set just to get some product out there...

But, really... For folks with a long history of performing there isn't any excuse for doing it poorly... That's MO... Wallpaper will not make you forget your verses unless you have sniffed the glue that is used to install it...

Like I said, jus' MO...

B~

Subject: RE: Excuses why a 'song' went wrong
From: GUEST,TJ in San Diego
Date: 12 Dec 08 - 11:18 AM

An old favorite, when tuning between songs seems to go on interminably: "When we finally get these things in tune, we ought to get 'em welded!"

Subject: RE: Excuses why a 'song' went wrong
From: *Laura*
Date: 12 Dec 08 - 11:14 AM

*starts song, coughs*
"ah yes, If the words don't rhyme don't complain to me afterwards because this is the way that charlie wills, who i learnt it from, it's the way he sings it. Whether he forgot the words originally I don't know... It sounds better when the words don't rhyme anyway....:"

Subject: RE: Excuses why a 'song' went wrong
From: Dan Schatz
Date: 12 Dec 08 - 11:01 AM

If I'm singing a song in another language:

"Anyone here speak Spanish? No? Good."

Works for regional songs, too - "Anyone here from Australia? Good."

Dan

Subject: RE: Excuses why a 'song' went wrong
From: Midchuck
Date: 12 Dec 08 - 10:46 AM

Relevant lyric.

Particularly verse #5.

Peter.

Subject: RE: Excuses why a 'song' went wrong
From: Cretzon
Date: 12 Dec 08 - 04:44 AM

One thing about our weekly singaround being in the Welsh area, is that not everybody knows what's being sung anyway. If a Welsh singer forgets the words to a song (doesn't happen that often, though) all he or she has to do is keep going and half those present are non the wiser.

Subject: RE: Excuses why a 'song' went wrong
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 12 Dec 08 - 03:51 AM

Hi Genie - No, I don't hate a crib sheet at all, although I believe too many people rely on one too much, nor do I have any feud with goatfell. I do believe that, as Howard says, the orchestral musician needs the music - to know when to come in if nothiong else - whereas the folk club performer doesn't. I also take exception to anyone calling a whole swaith of people 'dickheads' because they believe that the performance would be better without a crib sheet. It is their opinion and they are entitled to have it without being abused by people who cannot even learn lyrics!

Cheers

DeG

Subject: RE: Excuses why a 'song' went wrong
From: Ernest
Date: 12 Dec 08 - 01:44 AM

"Some bastard stole the karaoke machine while I was singing"

Never heard/said that one, but would be worth trying....

;0)
Ernest

Subject: RE: Excuses why a 'song' went wrong
From: GUEST,HoosierAmateur
Date: 12 Dec 08 - 01:05 AM

My favorite excuse heard at a jam we hold at a local sci-fi/fantasy con every year is "You've had too little to drink or you wouldn't have noticed that." It is appropriate at this point to pass the bottle to the poor sober fellow and help him fix that problem.

Subject: RE: Excuses why a 'song' went wrong
From: Barry Finn
Date: 12 Dec 08 - 12:45 AM

"Now sing one that you don't know"!

Barry

Subject: RE: Excuses why a 'song' went wrong
From: Uncle Phil
Date: 12 Dec 08 - 12:37 AM

I don't know much about Chorley or Horwich. Here in Texas the standard excuse is "We're from Oklahoma". Always works.

Subject: RE: Excuses why a 'song' went wrong
From: Genie
Date: 12 Dec 08 - 12:21 AM

"My G string is too tight."

Subject: RE: Excuses why a 'song' went wrong
From: Bert
Date: 11 Dec 08 - 10:25 PM

Here's one I stole from a Square Dance Caller I used to know. when a word came out wrong, he'd kinda whistle "Pheet" grab his two front teeth and exclaim "Grannies false teeth"

Subject: RE: Excuses why a 'song' went wrong
From: Genie
Date: 11 Dec 08 - 08:01 PM

Oh, Bernard, I just thought there was some sort o' feud between Gnomo and Goatfell. Shoulda known better. : )

However, I do run into people who absolutely hate the idea of anyone ever using any sort of lyric sheet.

Subject: RE: Excuses why a 'song' went wrong
From: Bernard
Date: 11 Dec 08 - 07:55 PM

Of course, that would be 'brain', and serves to prove the point!

Subject: RE: Excuses why a 'song' went wrong
From: Bernard
Date: 11 Dec 08 - 07:53 PM

Genie, you missed the point of Gnomo's post. I'm used to his sense of humour, so saw through it straight away!!

I never used to have the words in front of me until just recently... these days I find the computer crashes and wipes my memory overnight...! Oddly enough, though I was a church organist for over thirty years and relied on the score as a crutch.

The human br4ain, eh?! If only I had one...

Subject: RE: Excuses why a 'song' went wrong
From: GUEST,Howard Jones
Date: 11 Dec 08 - 07:39 PM

A musician in an orchestra and a solo performer in a folk club are in quite different situations. The orchestral musician is playing a long and complex piece of music, but is not trying to communicate with an audience in quite the same way. A concert soloist will nearly always play without music.

In a folk club, you have to be a performer as well as a musician. The music you are performing is usually a shorter and simpler, but you do have to communicate much more directly with the audience. Using music or lyric sheets is a barrier to this. It also makes it more difficult to develop the performing skills to deal with the times when things go wrong.

If you must use a prompt (and I understand that sometimes it might be needed) then it's best to have something discreet that the audience won't notice and that you can glance at without losing the flow or breaking the link with the audience.

Subject: RE: Excuses why a 'song' went wrong
From: Genie
Date: 11 Dec 08 - 07:00 PM

Gnomo, are you saying the members of the top philharmonic orchestras aren't expert musicians because they have the score in front of them?

I have an unusually good knack for memorzing things like script lines in a play or - especially - songs, and once I've learned a song, if I've sung it recently, I seldom need to have the music in front of me. That hardly makes me a great singer, musician, or performer. It certainly doesn't mean I'm better than someone else who needs to have the lyric sheet in front of them.

BTW, even when you know a song really, really well, it's quite possible to draw a blank, for just a moment, at the beginning of a line or verse.   When you do that in your living room or a singaround, the line will usually come back to you pretty quickly. But when you have that fleeting lapse on stage in front of a crowd, the pressure to resume the song without error gets in the way of recovery.   

That's what I find is a major function of a large-print lyric sheet.   Just knowing it's there, to be used for a quick prompt if needed, I hardly ever need to look at it.

To bring this to the topic, an actual legitimate excuse is just that: "I've sung this song a thousand times but my mind went blank for a moment."

Subject: RE: Excuses why a 'song' went wrong
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 11 Dec 08 - 06:44 PM

but then the folk purists or dickheads as I call them

Come on, Goatfell. Why call someone who can learn the words a 'dickhead' because it is something you cannot do yourself? Are all the people who have spent hours and days and weeks and, in some cases, a lifetime practicing their craft all dickheads as well? I am sure there are many things you can do very well indeed but because you are incapable, by your own admission, of learning words you need to use a word sheet. Thats fine by me, but it is simply not as good as performing without one. Get used to it. If you are not as good a performer as someone who can learn words then you need to accept that some people will prefer those who have mastered their craft over those who have not.

Back to the thread - I blame part-timers. Bit like all-timers but I only get it at folk clubs...


Cheers

DeG

Subject: RE: Excuses why a 'song' went wrong
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 Dec 08 - 06:13 PM

Right you are, Genie. ;-)

Subject: RE: Excuses why a 'song' went wrong
From: dick greenhaus
Date: 11 Dec 08 - 06:00 PM

Soaring from earth like a fly in molasses
Taking to air like a slug on the wing;
Seen, only dimly, through mists as time passes
Where are the words I am trying to sing?

cho: Almost remembered. Almost remembered.
      Almost remembered from what I have sung.
      Da da da da da.....(fades out)

Subject: RE: Excuses why a 'song' went wrong
From: trevek
Date: 11 Dec 08 - 05:49 PM

Damn, the guitar was in tune... the banjo player must have borrowed it!

Errrm, well there are a number of varieties of this song and some of them have dialect words which don't make sense.

Subject: RE: Excuses why a 'song' went wrong
From: Genie
Date: 11 Dec 08 - 04:23 PM

LOL, Dan!

Subject: RE: Excuses why a 'song' went wrong
From: Dan Schatz
Date: 11 Dec 08 - 04:08 PM

Another quote, this time from Gamble Rogers, when his instrument went badly out of tune.

"Last guitar I ever buy in a Stuckey stand. Yessir. See those frets? Praline and honey nougat. Hard times don't scare me none - if I can't pick for a livin' I'll just eat this thing."

Dan

Subject: RE: Excuses why a 'song' went wrong
From: Genie
Date: 11 Dec 08 - 03:49 PM

Ah, Little Hawk, those loose women may mess up your performance of a song or two, but just think how many new songs they can inspire!

Subject: RE: Excuses why a 'song' went wrong
From: slowerairs
Date: 11 Dec 08 - 03:31 PM

Ah Sailor Ron. Have you forgotten my favourite excuse on playing a wrong note on accordion. The audience were not listening in tune.
Happy christmas to all at Fleetwood Folk Club.

Eileen

Subject: RE: Excuses why a 'song' went wrong
From: Joybell
Date: 11 Dec 08 - 03:18 PM

You might not have heard this version before. It's the one from an ancient manuscript with several bits missing.

Subject: RE: Excuses why a 'song' went wrong
From: GUEST,TJ in San Diego
Date: 11 Dec 08 - 02:13 PM

In my case, it's "Old Timer's Disease." It was always hard to come up with plausible excuses when I was younger.

My all-time favorite "recovery" was a fellow who forgot one verse of a very long song. He substituted a single verse from a totally different song, with a different key and different tempo, after which he jumped back to the place where he had left off, continuing as if nothing had happened. I don't know, to this day, how he did it - or how he kept a straight face through the whole thing. People were laughing so hard, they forgot he'd screwed up!

Subject: RE: Excuses why a 'song' went wrong
From: Mr Red
Date: 11 Dec 08 - 01:54 PM

Ah - I have been known to say

"Well I wrote it, I have a right to forget it"

more than once!

Subject: RE: Excuses why a 'song' went wrong
From: Seamus Kennedy
Date: 11 Dec 08 - 12:25 PM

Blew a lyric the other night, and after a brief blank look at the audience, I said 'Oops, mini-stroke.'

Seamus

Subject: RE: Excuses why a 'song' went wrong
From: Bernard
Date: 11 Dec 08 - 12:22 PM

Can't decide whether to change the strings and keep the guitar, or keep the strings and change the guitar...!

Subject: RE: Excuses why a 'song' went wrong
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 Dec 08 - 12:18 PM

The real reason songs generally go wrong is because of the bad company they keep! One must make sure to keep one's songs from being sung around places where there are dangerous things like...

Cigarettes!
Alcohol!
Drug users!
Criminals!
Subversives!
Pedophiles!
Defrocked clergy!

and worst of all...

Loose women!!!

Subject: RE: Excuses why a 'song' went wrong
From: stallion
Date: 11 Dec 08 - 12:12 PM

Ah, my latest excuse, I blamed Martin, for, as we stepped on the stage, he said "oh, by the way, I have shifted the key half a note and made a slight adjustment to the arrangement, it's ok you can busk it" That was just the two of us singing a couple of new songs a cappella with only two rehearsals, I fretted so much I dried on my lead, made a joke at which most laughed and then realised it was probably inapropriate at a remembance day do!

Subject: RE: Excuses why a 'song' went wrong
From: Genie
Date: 11 Dec 08 - 11:39 AM

"WTF!? This guitar was in tune when I bought it!!"

Subject: RE: Excuses why a 'song' went wrong
From: GUEST,Val
Date: 11 Dec 08 - 11:11 AM

What key was that in? I thought it was in G, but it sounded like L.

or

I play a tenor recorder. That means ten or more of the notes will be wrong.

Subject: RE: Excuses why a 'song' went wrong
From: Dan Schatz
Date: 11 Dec 08 - 10:26 AM

I like that last one.

My all-time favorite remains from Ralph McTell, who said, "Now, when I play this it's going to sound like I'm making a lot of mistakes. But actually it's quite clever."

Dan

Subject: RE: Excuses why a 'song' went wrong
From: Mooh
Date: 11 Dec 08 - 10:20 AM

We don't wanna peak to soon.

Subject: RE: Excuses why a 'song' went wrong
From: Acorn4
Date: 11 Dec 08 - 10:06 AM

Juvenile demensure - caused by too much use of mobile phones!

Subject: RE: Excuses why a 'song' went wrong
From: Nigel Parsons
Date: 11 Dec 08 - 09:57 AM

OH SHIT, OH SHIT
(John English) (TTTO Heigh Ho, Heigh Ho)

Oh shit, Oh shit, I can't remember it
As I sing this song, the words have gone.
Oh shit, oh shit oh shit
Oh shit oh shit, what was the other bit
For the life of me it's a mystery
Oh shit, OH SHIT.

published in "... and then 3 come along together" (ISBN1-870824-44-X) a reprint of the three standard UK 'Filk' hymnals in one, ringbbound volume.
NP
Originally published in "The Drunken Rabble Project" (Feb 1990)

Subject: RE: Excuses why a 'song' went wrong
From: Nigel Parsons
Date: 11 Dec 08 - 09:50 AM

"Senior moment" is slowly being replaced by ... er ...um ..

Oh yes, "CRAFT Moment" ... "Can't Remember A F...... Thing!"

Subject: RE: Excuses why a 'song' went wrong
From: wysiwyg
Date: 11 Dec 08 - 09:49 AM

We'll try any song we halfway think we can do (at weekly worship), but we always do these maybe-dodgy ones LAST-- after all the formalities. We'll introduce it as "here's a new one that's WAY too soon to try, let's see how it goes" or "you donpt know this next one and neither do we," and lustily launch right in.

Sometimes they wrok surprisingly well. If it goes down in flames, however, we just giggle over the last, lingering (wrong) note and the people join right in. I think only once have we just stopped mid-song and called it quits to try another, instead.

But then we're songleaders, not performers. :~) Our NAME furnishes the excuse: The Good News-Goodtime Band.

~S~

Subject: RE: Excuses why a 'song' went wrong
From: Midchuck
Date: 11 Dec 08 - 09:48 AM

The phrase, "senior moment" covers a multitude of f***-ups if you are, or appear, old enough to qualify. Some who could use it are too vain to. They deserve whatever happens.

Peter

Subject: RE: Excuses why a 'song' went wrong
From: Fidjit
Date: 11 Dec 08 - 09:43 AM

Good old Ronnie Drew On stage in concert , "I can't get this bloody thing to sound right. What are we doing"?

Was then told to put the capo on the second fret and play G.

Chas

Subject: RE: Excuses why a 'song' went wrong
From: Nigel Parsons
Date: 11 Dec 08 - 08:42 AM

"This is a great song! I think I'll learn the chords next time."
"These are great chords, I'm sure there should have been words to go with them though, La la la ..."

Subject: RE: Excuses why a 'song' went wrong
From: M.Ted
Date: 11 Dec 08 - 07:33 AM

"This is a great song! I think I'll learn the chords next time."

Subject: RE: Excuses why a 'song' went wrong
From: goatfell
Date: 11 Dec 08 - 06:00 AM

buy a music stand and have the words to the song in front of you and that way you don't forget the words and if your have glassess to see then wear them.

I do,

but then the folk purists or dickheads as I call them will say but you must learn the song at first, well if if you a lousy memeory like mine, you tend to forget the words.

Subject: RE: Excuses why a 'song' went wrong
From: Will Fly
Date: 11 Dec 08 - 05:41 AM

"Sorry about that, but I'm from Chorley".

Nay lad, that's no excuse! Horwich - yes, but not Chorley... surely...

(Born in Chorley, lived in Horwich)

Subject: RE: Excuses why a 'song' went wrong
From: Genie
Date: 11 Dec 08 - 04:49 AM

Heck, mine are usually either "Sorry. I should rehearse more often than once a month." or "Sorry. I should've downed a couple less before I got up here on stage."   ; D

Subject: Excuses why a 'song' went wrong
From: Sailor Ron
Date: 11 Dec 08 - 04:43 AM

At Fleetwood Folk Club, we have, over the years, collected several score excuses why the song went wrong. Amongst our favourites are: "The wallpaper put me off","I've forgotton the tune so I'll sing it[?]", "Sorry about that, but I'm from Chorley", "I've forgotton the last verse, but he kills her, or t'other way round".
What other excuses have folk heard?