Lyr Add: The Rookie

Subject: Lyr Add: The Rookie
From: Ythanside
Date: 17 Dec 08 - 09:21 PM

Wrote this in 1971 for a nephew who had just joined the British Army, and have never told him that this was for him.
I've heard it sung verbatim and bowdlerised to both 'The Ould Alarm Clock' and 'The British Grenadiers', and have just been delighted that some others think it worth singing.
Just dug it out for a nostalgic CD, and thought it might ring a distant bell with guys of a certain age.



THE ROOKIE

'For Queen and country' snarls the man
With stripes upon his arm,
What he makes up in boorishness
He really lacks in charm,
'An if yer doesn't like it, lads,
Then lump it, so yer will,
You took the bob, you'll do the job,
Yer starts right now on drill.'

'Believe it or believe it not,
In only sixteen weeks,
I've got to manufacture men
From you obnoxious freaks,
You 'eap of spots and blemishes
With acne in between,
You took the bob, you'll do the job,
The prospect turns me green.'

'An' if you nancies thinks yer 'ard
Then let me make it clear,
I passes 'arder even when
I've got the dire rear,
An' don't cry when I kicks you
'Cause it only makes me mad,
You took the bob, you'll do the job
An' look as if you,re glad.'

Oh, Mother, did I really ask
To join this mad brigade?
I should've stayed in Civvie Street,
I 'ad it bleedin' made,
Now, all the time, I hear that voice
Just screaming in my ear,
'You took the bob, you'll do the job,
D'ya hear me, do you hear?'

We've formed fours three million times
And then, again, two deep,
We've marched from her to buggery
And made the sergeant weep,
He smiles and says that we should now
Address him as Brown Owl,
'You took the bob, you'll do the job,
Oh, come back Baden-Powell.'

The sergeant isn't well today,
He says he's got the shits
He says New Intake squaddies
Really grab him by the tits,
But then he says he won't give in,
He never will be beat,
'You took the bob, you'll do the job,
You and your two left feet.'

We've climbed up ropes and cargo nets
Until our fingers bled,
Then ran for miles and miles and miles
Then dropped as if stone dead,
The Sarge says 'Ladies, ladies, please,
Let's try that once again,
You took the job, you'll do the job,
So just pretend you're men.'

We took our guns to pieces and
We learned to put them right,
So, just to make it complicated,
Sarge put out the light,
And even in the darkness
We could hear that sadist chant,
'You took the bob, you'll do the job,
God help my sainted aunt.'

It's Passin' Out parade today,
It's been like sixteen years,
We're smart as hell, as tough as nails,
There's nobody we fears
Except the Sarge, who growls 'Shit'
The screams with all his might,
'You took the bob, go do the job,
Jus'gerrouta my fuckin' sight.'


Cheers,

Ythanside

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: The Rookie
From: Beer
Date: 17 Dec 08 - 09:28 PM

Good writing .
Good read.
Beer (adrien)
Quebec, Canada

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: The Rookie
From: Leadfingers
Date: 17 Dec 08 - 10:12 PM

Good stuff , but in my NOT very humble opinion , a shade too long !
But as a Fourteen year man (R A F , NOT Army) I can appreciate the sentiment . The best promotion is STILL to Mister !

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: The Rookie
From: gnu
Date: 18 Dec 08 - 05:38 AM

Definitely good stuff!