Lyrics & Knowledge Personal Pages Record Shop Auction Links Radio & Media Kids Membership Help
The Mudcat Cafesj

Post to this Thread - Sort Descending - Printer Friendly - Home


BS: Lesbian Question???

Bobert 21 Dec 08 - 12:13 PM
katlaughing 21 Dec 08 - 12:21 PM
Bill D 21 Dec 08 - 12:23 PM
meself 21 Dec 08 - 12:23 PM
catspaw49 21 Dec 08 - 12:29 PM
Bobert 21 Dec 08 - 12:29 PM
Alice 21 Dec 08 - 12:30 PM
gnu 21 Dec 08 - 12:31 PM
Megan L 21 Dec 08 - 12:32 PM
meself 21 Dec 08 - 12:36 PM
wysiwyg 21 Dec 08 - 12:50 PM
Stilly River Sage 21 Dec 08 - 12:53 PM
Ed T 21 Dec 08 - 01:14 PM
Bobert 21 Dec 08 - 01:40 PM
bobad 21 Dec 08 - 01:58 PM
Big Al Whittle 21 Dec 08 - 02:14 PM
kendall 21 Dec 08 - 02:21 PM
LilyFestre 21 Dec 08 - 02:34 PM
Ed T 21 Dec 08 - 03:28 PM
Big Al Whittle 21 Dec 08 - 03:34 PM
akenaton 21 Dec 08 - 03:58 PM
Ed T 21 Dec 08 - 04:51 PM
SINSULL 21 Dec 08 - 05:16 PM
SINSULL 21 Dec 08 - 05:22 PM
Richard Bridge 21 Dec 08 - 05:23 PM
Ed T 21 Dec 08 - 05:33 PM
Gurney 21 Dec 08 - 05:34 PM
Don Firth 21 Dec 08 - 05:45 PM
GUEST,Bob Ryszkiewicz 21 Dec 08 - 05:51 PM
McGrath of Harlow 21 Dec 08 - 06:08 PM
Ed T 21 Dec 08 - 06:13 PM
Ed T 21 Dec 08 - 06:15 PM
Comrac (troll alert contact max) 21 Dec 08 - 06:16 PM
GUEST,Bob Ryszkiewicz 21 Dec 08 - 06:36 PM
Bobert 21 Dec 08 - 07:33 PM
gnu 21 Dec 08 - 07:47 PM
Bobert 21 Dec 08 - 07:57 PM
Ed T 21 Dec 08 - 08:38 PM
Bobert 21 Dec 08 - 09:37 PM
GUEST,leeneia 21 Dec 08 - 10:54 PM
katlaughing 21 Dec 08 - 11:52 PM
Barry Finn 22 Dec 08 - 01:01 AM
GUEST,Guest from Sanity 22 Dec 08 - 04:11 AM
Lizzie Cornish 1 22 Dec 08 - 04:20 AM
Megan L 22 Dec 08 - 04:20 AM
Bobert 22 Dec 08 - 08:02 AM
JohnInKansas 22 Dec 08 - 08:44 AM
GUEST,Outside Looking In 22 Dec 08 - 09:45 AM
goatfell 22 Dec 08 - 12:25 PM
maeve 22 Dec 08 - 12:30 PM
katlaughing 22 Dec 08 - 01:26 PM
McGrath of Harlow 22 Dec 08 - 01:50 PM
GUEST,leeneia 22 Dec 08 - 02:16 PM
Gurney 22 Dec 08 - 02:19 PM
jeffp 22 Dec 08 - 02:36 PM
Wesley S 22 Dec 08 - 02:45 PM
GUEST, Richard Bridge 22 Dec 08 - 05:13 PM
Bobert 22 Dec 08 - 05:45 PM
Mr Red 23 Dec 08 - 09:28 AM
GUEST,leeneia 23 Dec 08 - 10:58 AM
Bobert 23 Dec 08 - 04:52 PM
Gurney 23 Dec 08 - 05:10 PM
Lizzie Cornish 1 23 Dec 08 - 05:31 PM
Bobert 23 Dec 08 - 06:02 PM
GUEST,Bob Ryszkiewicz 24 Dec 08 - 09:01 AM
Backwoodsman 24 Dec 08 - 10:41 AM
gnu 24 Dec 08 - 10:58 AM
gnu 24 Dec 08 - 07:14 PM
Bobert 24 Dec 08 - 07:35 PM
gnu 24 Dec 08 - 08:43 PM
Bobert 24 Dec 08 - 09:07 PM
GUEST,Bob Ryszkiewicz 24 Dec 08 - 09:12 PM
katlaughing 24 Dec 08 - 09:50 PM
Bobert 24 Dec 08 - 11:03 PM
akenaton 25 Dec 08 - 07:56 AM
Ed T 25 Dec 08 - 12:21 PM
Bobert 25 Dec 08 - 12:37 PM
gnu 25 Dec 08 - 07:15 PM
Bobert 25 Dec 08 - 07:20 PM
gnu 25 Dec 08 - 07:39 PM
gnu 25 Dec 08 - 07:40 PM
gnu 26 Dec 08 - 12:35 PM
gnu 26 Dec 08 - 12:58 PM
M.Ted 26 Dec 08 - 01:24 PM
Bobert 27 Dec 08 - 08:38 AM
GUEST,Jim Knowledge 27 Dec 08 - 08:44 AM
akenaton 27 Dec 08 - 11:01 AM
gnu 27 Dec 08 - 11:15 AM
akenaton 27 Dec 08 - 02:28 PM
Little Hawk 27 Dec 08 - 04:56 PM
John MacKenzie 27 Dec 08 - 05:14 PM
Noreen 27 Dec 08 - 05:21 PM
akenaton 27 Dec 08 - 05:27 PM
Bobert 27 Dec 08 - 05:32 PM
Lizzie Cornish 1 27 Dec 08 - 05:44 PM
Ebbie 27 Dec 08 - 05:58 PM
Lizzie Cornish 1 27 Dec 08 - 06:05 PM
Noreen 27 Dec 08 - 06:20 PM
Bobert 27 Dec 08 - 06:25 PM
Ed T 27 Dec 08 - 06:59 PM
gnu 27 Dec 08 - 07:07 PM
gnu 27 Dec 08 - 07:13 PM
M.Ted 27 Dec 08 - 11:24 PM

Share Thread
more
Lyrics & Knowledge Search [Advanced]
DT  Forum
Sort (Forum) by:relevance date
DT Lyrics:













Subject: BS: Lesbian Question???
From: Bobert
Date: 21 Dec 08 - 12:13 PM

Ummmm, this is new territory for this ol' hillbilly but there is a woman who my wife met in a community choir and, well, this woman has been paying alot of attention to the P-Vine... It started out a couple weeks where this woman drove a half an hour to meet the P-Vine to give her some herbal rememdies for a cold we've been sharing...

Then emails... Nothin' real come-onish but lots of them and then a few days ago it was this email confessin' to bein' a Lesbian and daying that she just wanted to clear the air... Still no comin' on to the P-Vine but this woman is now sending 5 eamils a day to the P-Vine about stuff... Not comin' on, mind you but ain't 5 emails a day somethin' in excess???

Now I ain't got no problems with gay folks and "some of my best friend are gay" but ain't 5 emails a day too much??? I mean, like one at 1:00 am, another at 3:30 am and then another at 8:00 this mornin'...

I donno???

Anyone have any insights???

B~


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Lesbian Question???
From: katlaughing
Date: 21 Dec 08 - 12:21 PM

Bobert, I would say it's not so much a "lesbian" thing as another person who seems to be a bit obsessed. Could just as easily be another man, eh? I respect her for being upfront and honest. Maybe she's incredibly lonely in Falwellville? Maybe she doesn't have anyone else she feels comfortable coming out to and just needs a friend and has gone over the top a little? It can get really lonely out there, for anyone, but doubly so for people who are vilified/ostracised/etcterised.:-) I also don't think five emails are all that much with someone who enjoys visiting and sharing info. And, she must be an insomniac? Is P-Vine uncomfortable about it?


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Lesbian Question???
From: Bill D
Date: 21 Dec 08 - 12:23 PM

Insights? Sure.... a polite reply from P-Vine to the effect "I am flattered you can confide in me...but... (fill in personal explanation here)..."

other than that, it's between the 2 women to sort out if they continue to chat...


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Lesbian Question???
From: meself
Date: 21 Dec 08 - 12:23 PM

Sounds, at best, like someone very 'needy' ...


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Lesbian Question???
From: catspaw49
Date: 21 Dec 08 - 12:29 PM

Is this a joke Bobertz? Seriously........What's the problem?   Lots of initial steps in personal relationships start off witha flurry and maybe the woman is really nice or needy or excited about meeting someone new or a hundred other things, none of them sexual.

Spaw


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Lesbian Question???
From: Bobert
Date: 21 Dec 08 - 12:29 PM

Well, the P-Vine did tell this woman that in her opinion it was okay to be gay... So that part is behind her... The P-Vine ain't uncomfortable the best I can tell... Maybe it's just me, I donno???

B~


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Lesbian Question???
From: Alice
Date: 21 Dec 08 - 12:30 PM

sounds like it is just you


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Lesbian Question???
From: gnu
Date: 21 Dec 08 - 12:31 PM

kat... "It can get really lonely out there, for anyone, ..."

Yup. I wouldn't be terribly concerned, Bobert. But if she invites youse over fer rabbit stew.....

(Just funnin.....)


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Lesbian Question???
From: Megan L
Date: 21 Dec 08 - 12:32 PM

If it reaches 14 phonecalls a day lad let me know and dauvitt can sort it he did with my cyber stalker. For the moment however it sounds like someone who is so suprised to have found a friend


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Lesbian Question???
From: meself
Date: 21 Dec 08 - 12:36 PM

Well ... either it's just you, or you have found that "P-Vine" has a propensity to get herself entangled in messy personal relationships and are trying to protect her (and yourself). Unless you are justifiably afraid of losing her to this person - which I gather is not the case ... (and none of my business, of course) ...


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Lesbian Question???
From: wysiwyg
Date: 21 Dec 08 - 12:50 PM

Bob(ert),

I agree the lady sounds lonely, but the P-Vine can handle that. Sometimes what comes across as needy is actually short-term need.

Your job is to be a good friend to the P-Vine and make it easy for her to share with you how having a female friend can be an important addition to her life. As long as it stays connected to you that way, it's fine. The danger is when half a couple goes outside that (or is driven outside that) to fill rational needs, and a wedge starts to grow, at home.

If the P-Vine runs into any boundary issues she needs a hand with, please remind her that I'm here for her. You, too.

~Susan


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Lesbian Question???
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 21 Dec 08 - 12:53 PM

Picking up vibrations that set you on edge is not something to ignore--at what point does someone become a stalker? But in the early days of a new friendship, you may have to take a few things into account. Is this someone who is reaching out for help? Someone who is depressed and found a lighted tunnel? Or someone who is out of work or away from work or school on a break and may simply be posting a few more messages than normal?

Play it by ear, but don't dismiss your misgivings, either.

SRS


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Lesbian Question???
From: Ed T
Date: 21 Dec 08 - 01:14 PM

My musical gut feeling is one should beware if they have not been paying attention to their record collection (if so, now may be the time), especially if there's a "dusty grove" in the vinyl.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Lesbian Question???
From: Bobert
Date: 21 Dec 08 - 01:40 PM

Whooooaaaaaaahhhhh there, Ed... Ain't no dusty grove thing going here 'casue I'm young an' able to buzz all night long and if ya' hear me buzzin' then there's some stingin' goin' on...

(Bobert, Bobert, Bobert...)

But seriously... Yeah, I think this woman in lonely and does not have many friends... I'm okay with that... And I know that the P-Vine and I are tight and so I'm not at all threatened...

It's this woman I am more concerned about in that, well, she might have a little obsession thing goin' and if that is the case, what should I, as a caring spouse, be doing, if anything...

One thing I think would be a good idea and the P-Vine agrees is for this woman to see us together... I don't think she has ever seen me and maybe that would help break a potentially obsessive cycle...

I donno... I jus' feel like I should have a better grasp of any developing situation...

If that makes sense...

Oh, and thank you all for your insights...

B~


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Lesbian Question???
From: bobad
Date: 21 Dec 08 - 01:58 PM

I think you are right to at least consider that this might be the beginnings of an obsession, as there are some signs pointing in that direction. There are some people here who have qualifications in the mental health field and I'm sure they will have some good advice for you. The one thing that comes to my mind is that these sort of obsessions are not rational and therefore attempting to deal with them in what you would consider a rational manner, is not usually effective. It is also probably best not to let the attachment get too entrenched as the obsession seems to strengthen the longer it goes on.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Lesbian Question???
From: Big Al Whittle
Date: 21 Dec 08 - 02:14 PM

It all comes down to....the WMD's. (weapons of marital destruction).

You were happy to trust Saddam Hussein......


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Lesbian Question???
From: kendall
Date: 21 Dec 08 - 02:21 PM

I would be concerned, but not yet alarmed.
There is a simple statement that P vine could use, "I'm straight, but not narrow."


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Lesbian Question???
From: LilyFestre
Date: 21 Dec 08 - 02:34 PM

If I were in your shoes, I'd share my concerns with P-Vine, ask her what she makes of it and go from there. If she is enjoying the emails, let it be. I've PM'd with someone right here on Mudcat several times over the last 24 hours, it doesn't make me obsessed (or her) but rather we are having a decent exchange. Would you have the same concern if this woman was not a lesbian?

If, on the other hand, she's uncomfortable and not sure how to handle the situation, offer her some suggestions. Sometimes it's difficult to politely get a message across and another point of view is helpful.

And hey man, whatchoo digging up around your garden these days?

Michelle


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Lesbian Question???
From: Ed T
Date: 21 Dec 08 - 03:28 PM

My take on it (I am not homophobic, but a realist) :

Straight men are interested in women as mates (sexual and otherwise). I suspect lesbians share this interest (at least more so than straight women). I personally know a few who see "conquering" married women as a real challenge...much as some men do. So, I would not totally rule out that she has such an interest, regardless of how remote success may seem, (beyond friendship). If so, it may not matter whether P-vine is solid with you or not....if she is interested in P-Vine, at the best it may just lead to more frustration for both...at some point. So, at some point this woman must spread her wings elsewhere..because I suspect there is no sense wasting such effort on P-Vine.

So, what could a sensible course be? First P-Vine should clearify the limits of her interest in the relationship and make it clear that she does not keep anything from you. And, I suggest you should discuss with P-Vine you being included in the friendship, to further reinforce that it is only friendship...and that you folks have a solid relationship. If she needs more personal advice...this would not limit P-Vine providing some personal advice. Who knows, it may end up in a great 3 way friendship, and you may also be able to offer some advice and friendly support.

But, that's just my take from a distance.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Lesbian Question???
From: Big Al Whittle
Date: 21 Dec 08 - 03:34 PM

yes get the ground rules straight.

Like Kevin Cline in 'A Fish Called Wanda' - if you touch his cock, he's dead!


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Lesbian Question???
From: akenaton
Date: 21 Dec 08 - 03:58 PM

Hey Bobert ole pal, this thread does your credibility as a big brave up and comin' revolutionary, no good at all!

Don't worry tho' Lesbianism's OK!   Sounds like great fun and I would be quite prepared to give it a go should the P-Vine take fright....Ake


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Lesbian Question???
From: Ed T
Date: 21 Dec 08 - 04:51 PM

I once had a scary dream that I was, in fact, a male lesbian....but, thankfully, when I awoke, I got better. There would just be too much stress for me.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Lesbian Question???
From: SINSULL
Date: 21 Dec 08 - 05:16 PM

Bobert,
For all your hillbilly persona, you are smart and intuitive. P-vine is no dummy either. If your gut tells you something is not right, clear the air with P-vine. I suspect you already have.

If I had a new acquaintance, gay or straight, who immediately started emailing me 5 times a day, all the red flags would go up. She may be lonely and be glad of a new friend but that's a bit much.

just my 2 cents.
SINS


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Lesbian Question???
From: SINSULL
Date: 21 Dec 08 - 05:22 PM

1AM and 3:30 AM? Another red flag.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Lesbian Question???
From: Richard Bridge
Date: 21 Dec 08 - 05:23 PM

I have a male friend with whom I may frequently exchange far more than that many emails in a narrow time span.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Lesbian Question???
From: Ed T
Date: 21 Dec 08 - 05:33 PM

There is some information on the site below> May be helpful, may not be.


http://www.answerbag.com/articles/How-to-tell-your-lesbian-friend-that-you-are-straight-and-not-interested-in-her/d2a39f22-1e51-


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Lesbian Question???
From: Gurney
Date: 21 Dec 08 - 05:34 PM

My wife has 'friends' like that, but not homosexuals. These people try to escalate the relationship from time to time with demands on her. Needy people.

I'm on record with them as being disapproving of their demands, which Judy can use to dodge the approaches without being 'selfish.'
Nice women do get buttonholed by 'wanters.'


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Lesbian Question???
From: Don Firth
Date: 21 Dec 08 - 05:45 PM

As "Deep Thought" would say, "Hmm . . . tricky."

I'd say that if you can be comfortable with the idea, both you and P-Vine be friends to the woman to whatever degree you feel reasonably comfortable with, but should anything "untoward" manifest itself, a straightforward but polite and gentle rebuff of unwanted attentions from P-Vine would be in order (with you being "blithely unaware"). This would offer the potential of maintaining the friendship while drawing a line, but without being a total rejection of her as a person.

My wife and I have a couple of friends who are gay. One whom we see fairly often is a member of our writers' group. The group gets together once a month to read our deathless prose and/or poetry and to offer mutual suggestions, support, and encouragement. He is in a stable relationship with another man. We consider he and his partner as part of the group of "orphans," people we know who have no family to speak of in this area, whom we often entertain in our home on holidays.

My response, should any gay friend or acquaintance come on to me (which is unlikely because Barbara and I are pretty obviously happily married), would be to thank them for the compliment, but politely point out that I am happily married, and that I do not share their particular sexual orientation. Thank you, but no thanks.

I have never had to play this particular tape, but I think it would take care of the situation should it ever arise.

Don Firth


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Lesbian Question???
From: GUEST,Bob Ryszkiewicz
Date: 21 Dec 08 - 05:51 PM

Hi Kids: Seems to me this is more of a lonely or obsessive thing, and in P-Vines court. If "enough is enough" is what's happening, it's best to let your lesbian friend know what time it is...

Wow! This now becomes the opportune moment to unleash some relevant humour(so I stay "on topic" in my own special way...)

This guy goes to a bar at the airport and sees a beautiful woman. He says to the bartender, "Please send her a drink, I've got to meet her..."
Bartender says, "Forget it, I know her. She's a Stewardess and a lesbian. You don't stand a chance with her..."
Guy says, "Lesbian huh. Listen. I know how to talk to these people..." Just send her the drink, and watch a MASTER at work...
Barkeep sends the drink, she nods Thank You. Guy walks up to her and says, "Bartender tells me you just flew in from Lesbia..."

O.K. O.K., no emails please...And. All you lesbians out there, I luvs yas...

And do you have any idea how many lonely nights I've spent in bars trying to convince beautiful women that I was a lesbian? Did they believe me? NO!
bob<:0)


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Lesbian Question???
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 21 Dec 08 - 06:08 PM

"Seems to me this is more of a lonely or obsessive thing"

Of course five posts in the course of a day on the Mudcat (for example) wouldn't be a big deal. Maybe that's a better way of dealing with being lonely... or obsessive, of course.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Lesbian Question???
From: Ed T
Date: 21 Dec 08 - 06:13 PM

Bobert,

I mentioned your dilema to a close friend (a lesbian) who offers this advice. Hope it is useful.

Some women coming out of a failed lesbian relationship seek an overly-dependent relationships with another woman because they don't know the proper boundaries in a healthy friendship.

It is your role, as a non gay friend, to set the boundaries early in your friendship, in a non-confrontal way. Remind her that there are limits to your relationship (set limits to the frequency of contact etc.

To avoid the likely fear of rejection, in doing this be careful not to send messages that her lesbian status is the reason for the boundaries. Frequently mention your healthy, close and happy relationship with your husband is the utmost of importance to you.

Remember that you must not be viewed by her (or by yourself) as the only one who can help her, or the main or only person she can confide in or rely on. Encourage her to pursue other friendships. Avoid any hints of the exclusivity which can lead to an emotional dependency. Healthy lives involve many relationships. Obviously, there are some needs that you will not be able to help her with.













Abridged, from website:
http://www.leaderu.com/jhs/davies-worthen.html



How Can We Help a Friend If We Suspect That He or She Has This Problem?
Work on deepening your friendship.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Lesbian Question???
From: Ed T
Date: 21 Dec 08 - 06:15 PM

The website on the bottom she included, for additional (christian) information. (She also said she pulled out a few quotes from it)


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Lesbian Question???
From: Comrac (troll alert contact max)
Date: 21 Dec 08 - 06:16 PM

I think there is a better acceptance of lesbians in society than there is of homosexuals. Maybe it's because they tend to keep their private lives to themselves, good luck to them.

On the other hand, homosexuals seem to host every other television quiz show, DIY show and buying/selling property show. Usually wearing pink suits and going over the top.They tend to be promoted a lot more.

I have nothing against lesbians, as long as I can watch !


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Lesbian Question???
From: GUEST,Bob Ryszkiewicz
Date: 21 Dec 08 - 06:36 PM

Hi Kids: Felt I should add this...Being a public person for most of my life, I've seen all kinds of stuff. I once was having a conversation with this guy and we were having some laughs, when during the conversation he took hold of my hand...

We obviously weren't on the same page. But the look in his eyes was one of attraction, and I didn't know quite what to do. I felt both honored and offended. But,"to each his own, as my mother used to say..." I just let him know I wasn't interested and walked away. What do you do? The Creator put all kinds of people on this Earth...

5 posts on Mudcat, No problem. I have committed myself to producing my own albums, and I'm continually on the Net, promoting myself, making friends, etc. It's been quite an experience experimenting with this new digital music thing...But then there's a time to back off and not go too nuts with it all...Mudcat allows me to take little breaks from my work...

Life is a balance. "To everything there's a season..." I try my best to give respect to all, put some happiness out there, and I'm quite concious of "being a good guest..."

Seems to me that a little bit of communication between the parties involved in the topic would ameliorate the situation...
BR


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Lesbian Question???
From: Bobert
Date: 21 Dec 08 - 07:33 PM

First of all, I have discussed my reservations about this womabn with the P-Vine... Secondly, she knows about this thread...

I'm listening and trying to take all of your posts into my thinking...

Yo, Michelle,

Nuthing too much in the garden however we did dig up 33 Linten R$ose babies and seperated them and put them in 4 inch pots today out in out propagating area where it stays in the 40's and has grow lights... Also, a danged racoon busted off part of one of our green spiel euonomoused so we cut it up and will one day have four more of them...

Back to this lady fir a minute... One thing that did get my attention is the night that she called the P-Vine and offerd to bring the herbs, this woman had to dive almost 30 minutes but didn't want to come to the house but met the P-Vine 4 miles from here at an Exxon station... I mean, if she was willing to drive 20 miles, why not 24 where I would have been???

I donno???

But, inspite of 20 years a a social worker, I'm learning alot here...

As fir the P-Vine, well, there are a lot of things about folks that she doesn't know about... More than most folks her age... That's a good thing but can also be a bad thing... That's why I'm trying to keep my good eye on this...

B~


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Lesbian Question???
From: gnu
Date: 21 Dec 08 - 07:47 PM

At the Exxon? Oh, well, THAT is a tad strange. I'd debit the works. Sommat just don't seem right... meet at the Exxon? Nope.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Lesbian Question???
From: Bobert
Date: 21 Dec 08 - 07:57 PM

Well, nu-zer... I think that was my first red flag... The 5 emails in one day was the second...

B~


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Lesbian Question???
From: Ed T
Date: 21 Dec 08 - 08:38 PM

Bobert,
On the Christian web site, in my last post, there is a section titled "Female Friend, Helping a Female Struggler". Don't know just how credible the advice is....but, there were cautions that caught my eye, especially if yer gut tells you (without meeting the person) that there is something odd about this person. But, on the other hand, over-reacting can often sometimes stir up as much trouble as it solves....and sometimes things have a way of just working themselves out...but, it never hurts to keep a watchful eye out for your loved ones...without over-reacting...in case a new aquaintance is not as well meaning as one would wish them to be. A friend once told me that " we build up credits with love ones in good times, that we can draw upon in uncertain times." That always stuck with me as being wise.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Lesbian Question???
From: Bobert
Date: 21 Dec 08 - 09:37 PM

Wise asvice, Ed...

I kinda honed my instincts over my 20 some years a social worker and I guess that once honed, always owned...

I know not to over-react but I also know to keep my good eye on what is happening...

The P-Vine. bless her heart and lucky for her, is not too worldly and a tad niave so I gotta keep my eye on it...

B~


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Lesbian Question???
From: GUEST,leeneia
Date: 21 Dec 08 - 10:54 PM

How old is she? I understand there are young people who text each other many times a day. Maybe she's just used to that sort of social life.

A couple weeks ago, a boy of 17 wrecked his car in a wooded area near here. He wasn't found for a couple days. A buddy of his told a newspaper reporter that he'd known something was wrong, because he and the crash victim texted each other 'a hundred times a day.'

This has been going on for long enough that older people are doing it too. I have a friend of 60 who told me that she no longer relies on e-mail, she texts. I told her I wasn't up for that.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Lesbian Question???
From: katlaughing
Date: 21 Dec 08 - 11:52 PM

Not wanting to come to your home may be she is shy and/or uncomfortable with men OR because she was a woman alone and didn't feel she knew both of you well enough to be alone with you in your home.

From what you have added about P-Vine tells me you are being a "good" cautious and it is good to keep an eye on things. P-Vine and/or you need to be sure to set boundaries. Sometimes that can be done by simply not responding. Other times, it may take more as others have noted above.

If you do find she is coming out of a relationship, is lonely, needy, etc. and you get a chance, it would be good to have some suggestions for where she might get some help.

Take care,

kat


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Lesbian Question???
From: Barry Finn
Date: 22 Dec 08 - 01:01 AM

If I were P-Vine I'd take care to not get you involoved, Bobert,,, at all. Why you ask? It could lead to trouble. First thing you know is you're sitting there with the women folk & you start thinking "I wonder what it's like to be with two woman at the same time"? Next thing you know you asking the two women that very question & they both answer "silly bastard, you are with two women, do you even know where you are, you've had enough beer, go to bed"! Now both women think you're not only a drunk hillbilly but you're a drunk & a spacy hillbilly.

Barry


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Lesbian Question???
From: GUEST,Guest from Sanity
Date: 22 Dec 08 - 04:11 AM

From: Bobert
Date: 21 Dec 08 - 12:13 PM

".........Now I ain't got no problems with gay folks and "some of my best friend are gay" but ain't 5 emails a day too much??? I mean, like one at 1:00 am, another at 3:30 am and then another at 8:00 this mornin'...

I donno???

Anyone have any insights???"

Without laying a value judgment on the homosexual thing..I know, for absolute sure, that in counseling(marriage and family), when people begin opening up, explaining their emotions, and what-not, one of the thing the counselor, observes, is certain things in their behavior. Sometimes, and without even being conscientiously aware of it, the client will display certain traits, which could be a 'clue' to the root of some of their problems. Believe it or not, a homosexual may display 'tip off' points,..which is NOT all the time a desire for the same gender, as themselves, or resentment towards one(or both) parents....the indicator that leads the counselor to pursue a line of questioning to determine if the client, either has homosexual tendencies or not, is 'emotional immaturity'. Without getting into all the particulars, (which anyone who is really interested, I'd post...but not to argue or debate), you might look at her OBJECTIVELY, and see if that's what is going down, in her behavior.
Happy to assist....(limitedly)....and do not wish to debate the subject with anyone, who does not have an education in this field.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Lesbian Question???
From: Lizzie Cornish 1
Date: 22 Dec 08 - 04:20 AM

5 emails a day. Heck, Bobert...just be grateful your much loved P-Vine doesn't have me as a friend! ;0) LOL


Bob, that joke was very funny...I'm chuckling over here..


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Lesbian Question???
From: Megan L
Date: 22 Dec 08 - 04:20 AM

Bobert I hope P-Vine pits ye ower her knee and skelps ye so hard ye hiv tae eat staunin up fur a week, then sends ye oot tae sleep in the kennel wie the dug.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Lesbian Question???
From: Bobert
Date: 22 Dec 08 - 08:02 AM

Well, thankee fir them warm thoughts, Megz... But I ain't into that kinky stuff...

Yo, Barry... Believe you me, I have no interest in being with two womenz, drunk or not... I mean, if one of 'um ain't nuff trouble for a man then I'd say that man needs more than just a little couselin' from GfS... lol...

Let's see... Only two emails last night... One at 2:30 am and the other at 3:00...

BTW, I think this woman is in her 50's if that matters...

B~


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Lesbian Question???
From: JohnInKansas
Date: 22 Dec 08 - 08:44 AM

Bobert -

I get maybe seven or eight emails per year from "friends" - and they never answer back to my replies so I'd have to say I'm inexperienced with respect to deluge-style correspondence.

LiK does, however, have one female friend (probably in her 50s) who has sent her more than 1,734 emails in the past four years. (I know this because I back up and archive our emails. She deletes quite a few things from this "friend" before I get around to archiving, but that's what was in the last backup.)

This woman is extraordinarily dangerous because she's a loose-cannon who's also married to a fundy preacher. Most of the emails are "inspirational" cut-n-paste stuff in bulk mailings addressed to Lin and 30 or 40 of her other friends.

Occasionally when the two of them actually have something to talk about though, a dozen emails in a day - each - for a few days in a row - is not too uncommon.

The "clingers" that one encounters quite frequently are "less than optimally adapted" to normal socializing; but our experience with the dozen or so "open" homosexuals of both sexes that we have known is that, if anything, they are much less likely than heterosexuals (especially males) to have inappropriate sexual fixations on another - especially on another new acquaintance. There's far too much risk (from people who "aren't biased, but ...") and most of those we've known have very specific partners to whom they are very much (and very exclusively) faithful, even when not "into a relationship."

You may have a "nut case" at hand, but normal responses to any "disagreeable" behavior should be sufficient to form the relationship into something tolerable or to terminate it if appropriate.

If treated like the kind of person you (or P-Vine) would like to associate with, she'll either be that sort of person, once she sees what you expect - or will give up and go away.

John


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Lesbian Question???
From: GUEST,Outside Looking In
Date: 22 Dec 08 - 09:45 AM

Bobert, from what I have read of the thread, your P-vine is a lucky lady to have someone in her life so understanding and non-judgmental. Great qualities in anyone but attractive in a man moreso I find.

I think your 'conduct' in this has been marvellous and trying to understand potential trouble, if there is any, has to be commendable. You obviously have a great relationship with P-vine and long may it last :-)

If this was a man who had started emailing 5 times a day, with no 'coming on' mind, whould your feelings be the same or different? Point I am am making is that you are right to question because instincts are often all we have to go on. Much should be able to be told from the content of the 5 emails a day. But if there is no subtle caht there alluding to more then maybe what you have here is a lonely woman who feels comfy with P-vine. When you may not be out of the closet yourself having friends who understand can be wonderful but often you can forget how much pressure you put them under by being overly connective. Perhaps the lady in question is just lonely. I guess the thing to watch for - alarm bells - might be a change in tone of the emails or wishing for more actual contact than she now has with P-vine.

I think as long as you two are unassailable and keep communicating then this new lady can be no threat. Only you two know. If it becomes a threat then you will both have to gently pull back.

As for jokes over you maybe wanting two women... pay no heed. That is not happening in your head but in others. I never understood the facination of men wanting to watch two women as long as they can be involved. I know this is definitely not the case with you. It has been a wonderful thread to read.

I wish you both well - indeed, all three all well - and hope it turns out into a simply great friendship. Sexuality aside, loneliness makes a sad bedfellow, while friends are priceless and no bed is needed.

If I ever end up with a guy I hope they are as thoughtful and caring as you seem to be :-)


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Lesbian Question???
From: goatfell
Date: 22 Dec 08 - 12:25 PM

So what? if she a Lesbian then that is between her and God, and no one else.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Lesbian Question???
From: maeve
Date: 22 Dec 08 - 12:30 PM

Guest, Outside- That's a thoughtful and caring post.

maeve


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Lesbian Question???
From: katlaughing
Date: 22 Dec 08 - 01:26 PM

...they are much less likely than heterosexuals (especially males) to have inappropriate sexual fixations on another - especially on another new acquaintance. There's far too much risk (from people who "aren't biased, but ...")

Well said, John, as always.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Lesbian Question???
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 22 Dec 08 - 01:50 PM

Texts seem to have different rules from emails for some reason. Many people seem much more likely to use them in a back and forth conversational way. Maybe it's to do with getting and sending them on the hoof rather than when specifically using a computer.

I believe people who get and receive their emails through mobiles use them more that way too. Perhaps the lady has a Blackberry, and that is what is happening.

I can't see why it makes much difference whether the lady in question fancies P-Vine rather than just likes her. The issue is surely whether the is attention is experiences as excessive rather than what motivates it.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Lesbian Question???
From: GUEST,leeneia
Date: 22 Dec 08 - 02:16 PM

If P-vine communicates like my friends, it's no wonder she gets several e-mails. Here are some examples of how my friends do it.
======
Leeneia: Should we meet at Sue's or at Jen's?
Friend: Yeah.

Leeneia: Can you play music with the gang on the following days?
   Monday
   Tuesday
   Friday ?
if so, afternoon or evening?

Friend: I'm busy Tuesday.
======
Bobert, you still need to find out how old she is and how many messages she is sending to other people. She could just be a person who communicates a lot.

Somebody I know said she feels strange walking down the street, because she's the only person who's not doing something with a cell phone.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Lesbian Question???
From: Gurney
Date: 22 Dec 08 - 02:19 PM

Quote from a TV show of years ago:
"Friends. They are like therapy, but for poor people!"

Maybe what the woman is seeking. Just a thought.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Lesbian Question???
From: jeffp
Date: 22 Dec 08 - 02:36 PM

From what I know of the Luray area, it is beautiful, but it doesn't seem to me to be a very comfortable place to be homosexual. She may be very lonely and just sense the the P-vine is not uncomfortable to be around her, so she's being a little closer than she might otherwise be in a more accepting region.

That might very well be all that it is.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Lesbian Question???
From: Wesley S
Date: 22 Dec 08 - 02:45 PM

The question I'd be asking which has been hinted at is - are these original e-mails? As in a four or five part monologue? Or forwarded articles, poems, stories from other sources? There's a big difference.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Lesbian Question???
From: GUEST, Richard Bridge
Date: 22 Dec 08 - 05:13 PM

I feel a little unease about some of the unease here.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Lesbian Question???
From: Bobert
Date: 22 Dec 08 - 05:45 PM

Well, first of all, I think if it were a man emailing the P-Vine 5 times a day in the middle of the night, yeah, I would have some level of concern and, frankly, would handle it much differently in that I have some experience with that scenerio...

Second, no, these aren't forwarded emails...

Apparently the P-Vine is about be become a board memeber of a singing group and the best I figure out this woman is in that group and is kinda trying to get involved with the board... Plus other things... Heck... I don't read them all ot many for that matter 'cause I feel it ain't my business but the P-Vine asked me to to read the "coming out" one and I did and that's when I started the thread...

And thanks to all here I have a purdy good handle on things...

B~


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Lesbian Question???
From: Mr Red
Date: 23 Dec 08 - 09:28 AM

One to watch - I would say. Do nothing is not the best policy, intervention is a bit strong but then 5 e-mails a day is a bit strong. Needy is not strong enough IMHO. If the e-mail replies came from both of you it might find a new level.

I have seen this to a lesser degree with an girlfriend and a sneeky man. I made sure he knew where and who I was and waited for him to blot his copy book. Which was not a hit-on (as it happened), he just didn't repay kindnesses and then it was the end of the story. Mind you I should have got the women in our community who knew what he was like to put the boot in - it would have saved time.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Lesbian Question???
From: GUEST,leeneia
Date: 23 Dec 08 - 10:58 AM

Bobert, why don't you join the choir and see for yourself?


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Lesbian Question???
From: Bobert
Date: 23 Dec 08 - 04:52 PM

I ain't choir material... Way too undisicplined and way too rowdy...

But, hey, I think I have a purdy good level of knowledge now that I didn't have when I started this thread and a comfort level, as well...

Plus, I will be attending the performances and after-gig parties so this woman ***is*** going to see me and see how the P-Vine and I interact...

That oughtta be enough but if things escalate intil then, I'm comfy with what needs to be done... And how... 20 years workin' with folks with mental problems wasn't a total waste (LOL) plus my years here in Mudville (LOL)...

B~


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Lesbian Question???
From: Gurney
Date: 23 Dec 08 - 05:10 PM

Well yes, being here for a few years would .....Ulp.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Lesbian Question???
From: Lizzie Cornish 1
Date: 23 Dec 08 - 05:31 PM

"Plus, I will be attending the performances and after-gig parties so this woman ***is*** going to see me and see how the P-Vine and I interact..."

Easy peasy, Bobz....

You just dance the Argentinian Tango with the P-vine...


Get all hot...and steamy...and sweaty... ;0)

Then, at the end, lean her backwards, and kiss her, long and slow..

Yup, I reckon that should do the trick.

Of course, you both may have to be hospitalised for at least a year and a bit, but hell, just think of the story you can tell the other patients!

Failing this, I'd just relax, because women do tend to email each other a lot more than men. Heck we email *men* a lot more than men email other men. It's the internet equivalent of women on the phone..or in the street, or over dinner. We gals just love to yatter on....Trust me, 5 emails a day is nothing.

I was fancied once, by a lady of the other persuasion. Took me by surprise somewhat I can tell you. She told me I had a lovely body, (er...I'm going back decades now..and even then she'd have been fibbing)...so I made a joke about it, but then, I caught her looking at me in the same kind of way a man would normally have done, and well....it kind of freaked me out somewhat, to say the least. So she got the message loud, clear and kindly that I wasn't interested, no way, heck no no no.... She never did it again and stayed well clear of me. Even if something were going on in her mind, I'm sure the P-vine would feel the same as I did..the same as you would if it were a man. It's a 'nature' thing, same as anyone gay being fancied by the wrong sex kinda worries them too.

Mind you, she could have heard about the great way you write, and how you make us all fall of our chairs with chuckles, so often...and the crush could be on you, not your Lady Fair...

Hmmmm...the more I think about it, the more practice you and your P-vine are going to have to put into that Argentinian Tango. :0)

And hell, just think of the fun you can both have! ;0)


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Lesbian Question???
From: Bobert
Date: 23 Dec 08 - 06:02 PM

Wow, Lizzie.... I don't tango but I've seen it in the old black and white movies so, what the heck, I could fake it... Plus, I could use a year in the hospital... Maybe two???

Like I said... No, maybe I didn't say it??? But I'm ready to be Mr. Sensitive and Mr. On-Top-of-Things when it comes to this thing...

("Mr. On-Top-of-Things", Boberdz???)

Well, ya'll know what I mean...

B~


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Lesbian Question???
From: GUEST,Bob Ryszkiewicz
Date: 24 Dec 08 - 09:01 AM

Yes Lizzie: Folkies need to RELAX! Dance NEW dances. Meet DIFFERENT kinds of people...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rTlWqW6fSYc
Be dangerous and get down wid yo own bad self...
BR


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Lesbian Question???
From: Backwoodsman
Date: 24 Dec 08 - 10:41 AM

"Plus, I could use a year in the hospital... Maybe two???"

Hey, with you hospitalised, who would lead our Pirate crew?? :-) LOL.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Lesbian Question???
From: gnu
Date: 24 Dec 08 - 10:58 AM

I wonner where Vinnie got them fancy gummies and if they come in steel toe? They'd be a hit at the sandpit dance on Sa'rday night.

I LIKE Pink!


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Lesbian Question???
From: gnu
Date: 24 Dec 08 - 07:14 PM

Just got a PM admonishing.... well... Pink. (Not me because I like Pink??) Could not be, could it?

This here old folker that told me that Pink wasn't FOLK!! she was all "party started and disco rap kinda thing".... AND, "the tunes don't have any place in this forum."

So, that means this person clicked a link, listened to one song, and does not know anything about one of today's true folk artists...

Pink


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Lesbian Question???
From: Bobert
Date: 24 Dec 08 - 07:35 PM

Well, the plot did thicken today...

P-Vine's "friend" called this morning, found out I was at work and asked if it was okay to come up to the house...

I left eraly and called the P-VIne and told her I was on the way home and according to all of P-Vine's accounts this woman had kinda a panic attack and wnated to leave but the P-Vine assured her that I wasn''t a bad guy and so when I got home I ghot to meet this woman...

Okay, she is kinda (like real) mascaline... No Ellen Degeneris... Spikey hair... But nevermind that stuff...

I thought I made her feel comfy...

Then tonight, the P-Vine was leading the childrens choir at the church and this woman showed up and and sat with us... But soon as the service was over she was gone, gone, gone...

I donno if she thought I wasn't gonna be there 'er what... I really don't want to bother the P-Vine with a bunch of questions because our relationship is built on trust...

Like I said, interesting plot change...

B~


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Lesbian Question???
From: gnu
Date: 24 Dec 08 - 08:43 PM

"No Ellen Degeneris"... too bad. She's hot. I mean, if it came to that.

Gosh. I think I am a lesbian.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Lesbian Question???
From: Bobert
Date: 24 Dec 08 - 09:07 PM

You keep readin' this thread, nu-zer and you might become one...

Keep postin' and the Mudwomenz might take care of that little bagage yer carryin' so you'd be well on yer way...

B~


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Lesbian Question???
From: GUEST,Bob Ryszkiewicz
Date: 24 Dec 08 - 09:12 PM

gnu: Pink's "Mr President" was Folk enough for me...Maybe it was because she wasn't wearing jeans, hoisting a pint, and wasn't singing in a Folk Club...Great spirits have always met with violent opposition from those with mediocre minds....(para. Einstein, I, uh, think...)BR


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Lesbian Question???
From: katlaughing
Date: 24 Dec 08 - 09:50 PM

I agree with Bob, gnu. Thanks for posting the link; I didn't know about Pink, before this. That's a very good, hard-hitting song, imo. AND, someone is bitching about something not being appropriate, musically, in a BS thread???!! LOL!

Bobert, Ellen IS hot!


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Lesbian Question???
From: Bobert
Date: 24 Dec 08 - 11:03 PM

Yeah, kat, I agree, Ellen is hot...

P-Vine's lady friend ain't and she's emailed the P-Vine 3 times in the last 3 hours...

I think we have a situation...

B~


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Lesbian Question???
From: akenaton
Date: 25 Dec 08 - 07:56 AM

Bobert....I think you must be havin' a Christmas "piss take", I can't take this seriously!

Surely if you really are concerned enough to put this out in public, its time to sit down with your good lady and have a frank and personal discussion?

Merry Christmas to you both BTW and a Guid peaceful New Year....Ake


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Lesbian Question???
From: Ed T
Date: 25 Dec 08 - 12:21 PM

These sites give an interesting perspective,whether you are gay or straight:


http://www.thirdage.com/sex/discussions/the-gay-lesbian-bisexual-and-transgender-discussion-hosted-by-monroe



http://www.niaonline.com/MPage.php?WhatToFetch=ReadArticle&Article_ID=2294


http://lesbianlife.about.com/od/lesbiansex/a/MarriedSex.htm


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Lesbian Question???
From: Bobert
Date: 25 Dec 08 - 12:37 PM

Ake, ol son...

You just don't know the P-Vine like I do... She is very, ahhhhhh, trusting and niave... I mean, that's a good thing in some ways but tends to work against here in some areas of adult life...

Thanks for the sites, Ed... I've just a got a few minutes now but I will pull 'um up and read 'um when time permits later today...

BTW, I'll share some thoughts I have on homosexuality later, as well...

B~


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Lesbian Question???
From: gnu
Date: 25 Dec 08 - 07:15 PM

I am glad that, a few hours ago, I refrained from posting on this thread at this particular juncture. Since I have no humour bounderies, it could have been rather inappropriate (try typing that when you are dyslexic and havin a Gooseberry wine or three).

But... I am SOOOOOO tempted.

Okay.... just one... but then I gotto go, okay?

Bobert.... do you get these thoughts often?

Hehehehee.... made myself laugh... and that's half the battle.

Sorry Bobert... couldn't resist!


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Lesbian Question???
From: Bobert
Date: 25 Dec 08 - 07:20 PM

This ***will*** come back to haunt you, nu-zer...


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Lesbian Question???
From: gnu
Date: 25 Dec 08 - 07:39 PM

I SAID I was sorry.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Lesbian Question???
From: gnu
Date: 25 Dec 08 - 07:40 PM

Couln't you find it within your reach? To forgive me?


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Lesbian Question???
From: gnu
Date: 26 Dec 08 - 12:35 PM

Or would that be too far round the end... ahh... bend?

Sorry... I can't stop.

(Apologies to all my gay friends... and yours too... maybe even to you.)


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Lesbian Question???
From: gnu
Date: 26 Dec 08 - 12:58 PM

Gosh! Just got a PM. I did have a gay friend. I may even have more... or lose more?

Hey, just joking... really! Just joking. Gosh again! Lighten up eh? I don't care... really... I don't. I am not gonna stop making any jokes due to PI.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Lesbian Question???
From: M.Ted
Date: 26 Dec 08 - 01:24 PM

Here I am, a day late and a dollar short again, but I figure that I ought to jump in--

In case you haven't figured it out, Bobert, P-Vine's friend is trying to be herself in a world that doesn't really very much like people who are as different as she is--

James Brown said, "It's A Man's World"--It is, and not in a good way.

Men have a nasty tendency to expect that woman are there to wait on them, and that women's needs, interests, and friendships are not as important as getting the beer from the fridge to the couch--women have to deal with it all the time.

As young, longhaired, blues playing, pot tokin', left leaning hippies, we knew that we weren't what Time Magazine and the Reader's Digest said we were, and "The Man" just didn't understand--we did our best to conduct our lives out of line of sight, cause we knew it made us harder to use for be target practice. Same for Gay and Lesbian folks. Especially in and those beautiful Blue Ridge Mountains.

I hate to tell you this, Bobby, but starting out in this situation, you were sounding a bit like "The Man"--rather than being trusting and accepting, or even just getting to know the person before you came to a conclusion, you've been leaning toward "the uncomfortable feeling", based on labels and hair styles, and such things.

My neighbors, the right-leaning "Christian" home schoolers, told me, "I just have a funny feeling about Obama." Sometimes we have to question our "feelings", rather than counting emails--

Now that you've met the person in question, you're starting to get to know the person, which is really the only way to find out what they're about--and that's about all there is to it.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Lesbian Question???
From: Bobert
Date: 27 Dec 08 - 08:38 AM

Well, M-T, having met her hasn't exactly quelled my suspicions... Personally, I think she is a little wierd... Personally, the P-Vine thinks she is a little wierd, too... So the book is still out but I'm keepin' my good eye open...

Now as for you, nu-zer... Hey, I could never be mad at you... We go way back and we're tight... Right???

B~


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Lesbian Question???
From: GUEST,Jim Knowledge
Date: 27 Dec 08 - 08:44 AM

I `ad a bloke in my cab the day and he tapped me on the shoulder and said, "`ere Jim, whaddya think about that lovely blonde totty over there?"
I said, "Which one?"
`e said, "That girl with the cropped `air and leather desert boots."
I said to `im, "She`s a lesbian"
`e said, "What`s a lesbian then?"
I said, "Well, she`d like to meet a girl,undress `er, cuddle `er, kiss `er boobs and lick `er all over."
`e said, "Blimey, I must be a lesbian too!!"

Whadda me and Jethro like??


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Lesbian Question???
From: akenaton
Date: 27 Dec 08 - 11:01 AM

Pleased to see you back Jim!

Stick around , we could all do with a good laugh....Ake


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Lesbian Question???
From: gnu
Date: 27 Dec 08 - 11:15 AM

Right on, Bobert.

Ake... yup.... laughs are about all we got some days, eh?


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Lesbian Question???
From: akenaton
Date: 27 Dec 08 - 02:28 PM

Too, Troo, Gnoo.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Lesbian Question???
From: Little Hawk
Date: 27 Dec 08 - 04:56 PM

A lot of people are a little weird. The question is, are they a little weird in a good way? ;-)

I've never felt threatened or bothered by anyone on account of her being lesbian (or bisexual)...although thinking back...I have known one or two lesbians in the past who were just plain obnoxious, but it wasn't because they were lesbian, it was just because they were obnoxious individuals, period. ;-D


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Lesbian Question???
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 27 Dec 08 - 05:14 PM

That's a difficult concept to get over LH. Some people just won't see that you can dislike someone for their personality rather than their sexual proclivities.
It's like kids, some folks say, 'I love kids', but ya can't love ALL kids, 'cos some of them is plain obnoxious.
I guess it depends on the personal agenda of the other party.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Lesbian Question???
From: Noreen
Date: 27 Dec 08 - 05:21 PM

Bobert, I gather you are worried because this woman "freaked" because you were coming home early?

It feels to me that this woman feels comfortable with your lovely, trusting P-Vine, and is rather (or very) wary of the rest of the world, possibly particularly men- not that she fears you in particular, or has 'designs' on your lovely lady.

I think you must just carry on being interested and supportive, letting P-vine know you are happy to listen to what she tells you about this woman, without getting uptight or defensive. P-Vine may be naive in your terms, but I guess she knows a lot about people and relationships. She will need you as a sounding board to talk over her concerns about this woman; not to make her decisions for her but to listen supportively.

Make sense?


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Lesbian Question???
From: akenaton
Date: 27 Dec 08 - 05:27 PM

Are they obnoxious because they hang labels round their necks and feel they must try to live up to those labels.
Icould never understand why lesbians want to ally themselves to homosexuals.
Lesbian couples seem to me to have much more in common with hetero sexual couples. According to the statistics Ive been reading, they have the same sort of lifestyle regarding nos of partners length of relationships, divorce/separation rates etc,


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Lesbian Question???
From: Bobert
Date: 27 Dec 08 - 05:32 PM

Well, yeah, that does make a lot of sense... I'm trying my level best to just be my level best... No reacting... No judging...

Yeah, the P-Vine and I are both somewhat suspicious... Me perhaps more than her but, really, both of us...

And this woman is a tad on the obnoxious side... No, not her bahavior as much as her spiky hair and general appearance... And she was humming loudly during communion on Christmas Eve which was a little wierd... The P-Vine even whispered, "Who is doing that humming?"

But anothe thing that had me a little concerned was a comment that this woman made about having not been ina church in 20 some years... That, in itself, is okay but the only reason she was in that church that night was becasue the P-Vine was going to be leading the childrens choir??? I donno??? That seems kinda wierd...

B~


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Lesbian Question???
From: Lizzie Cornish 1
Date: 27 Dec 08 - 05:44 PM

No, ake..that's not always true.

One of my relatives is gay, and a really lovely chap too. He used to be married to a lesbian, who wasn't a lovely woman. She was mean and horrible to him, lazy as hell about their child, not an ounce of maternal instinct in her, whilst he had far more than most women.

The child grew up with her mother. Big mistake, her father would have brought her up very differently, with far more love. She turned him against her father for many years, as she had a total downer on many men in general. It broke his heart. He's always loved children, always, and his own daughter was very precious to him.

He's had two partners in near on 30 years. The first one died, and to be honest, if he hadn't, they may well have still been together, as they were so fond of one another, great friends as well as partners.

His ex-wife meanwhile, has had partner after partner after partner, and all those partners have been put *before* her only child, who grew up with many problems.

People are individuals, and for me, they don't act in the same way purely because of their sexual orientation. You're either a kind, thoughtful person, or you ain't.

Bobz, you should maybe talk to your lady about it all, perhaps tell her how you're feeling.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Lesbian Question???
From: Ebbie
Date: 27 Dec 08 - 05:58 PM

"Icould never understand why lesbians want to ally themselves to homosexuals." Ake

I suspect that I'm being a bit over-literal again, but I have to say it: In what way are lesbians not homosexual?


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Lesbian Question???
From: Lizzie Cornish 1
Date: 27 Dec 08 - 06:05 PM

"But anothe thing that had me a little concerned was a comment that this woman made about having not been ina church in 20 some years... That, in itself, is okay but the only reason she was in that church that night was becasue the P-Vine was going to be leading the childrens choir??? I donno??? That seems kinda wierd..."


Yup.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Lesbian Question???
From: Noreen
Date: 27 Dec 08 - 06:20 PM

Only weird in that she is a touch obsessed with her new friend at the moment (which can get very wearing for P-Vine if the obsession doesn't calm down) and wants to be where P-Vine is. Can't see any other harm in it.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Lesbian Question???
From: Bobert
Date: 27 Dec 08 - 06:25 PM

I'm not sayin' anything here, Liz, that I haven't allready talked with the P-Vine about...

Well, we'll see what we get this week... The story is that this woman goes to Richmond on the weekends to work and not around... What kind of work??? I donno... Then she is here during the weekdays where she get therapy??? For what??? I donno...

I do know that the last email was CHristmas day... It may be a video of the Christmas Eve performance... But this woman didn't have a video camera... It won't load for me so I don't know what is on it but the only test is "In honor of yout your recent success"???

We tried to open the download but it doesn't work on our computer so we don't know what's on there???

B~


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Lesbian Question???
From: Ed T
Date: 27 Dec 08 - 06:59 PM

A young woman, came to terms with her sexuality and decided to come out of the closet.

She wanted to tell her elderly mother first. So, she went to the kitchen, where her mother was stirring stew with a wooden spoon to break the news. Rather nervously, she explained to that she was gay.

Without looking up from her stew, her mother said, "You mean, yer a
lesbian?" "Well... yes", said the daughter"

Still without looking up, the mother asked: "What is it you lesbians do fer sex?"

Caught off guard, the young woman openly explained her personal preference during sex.

After hearing this, her mother held up the wooden spoon and said: Its OK with me if your a lesbian and do these things. But, I don't "ever" want to hear you complain again about the taste of my cookin'!"


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Lesbian Question???
From: gnu
Date: 27 Dec 08 - 07:07 PM

Hummin during communion.... why does Level 42 stick in my head?

Mmmmm... hmm...hmm...hmmm...hmm.hm. hm. hm. hmmmmmmm...

Good tune, and, you can hum along to that when you are busy. Like when yer having a munch.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Lesbian Question???
From: gnu
Date: 27 Dec 08 - 07:13 PM

Ed T..... that was one letter away from being the worst typo ever, eh?

Sorry.... goes with my New Years Revolution... no laugh left behind.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Lesbian Question???
From: M.Ted
Date: 27 Dec 08 - 11:24 PM

Bobert: I stand behind my statement "Now that you've met the person in question, you're starting to get to know the person, which is really the only way to find out what they're about--and that's about all there is to it."

I like to keep an open mind, but I keep my eyes open, too.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate


 


You must be a member to post in non-music threads. Join here.


You must be a member to post in non-music threads. Join here.



Mudcat time: 22 October 11:54 AM EDT

[ Home ]

All original material is copyright © 1998 by the Mudcat Café Music Foundation, Inc. All photos, music, images, etc. are copyright © by their rightful owners. Every effort is taken to attribute appropriate copyright to images, content, music, etc. We are not a copyright resource.