BS: Christmas as such

Subject: BS: Christmas as such
From: Nick E
Date: 25 Dec 08 - 12:44 AM

As I have a penis it seems I don't have the gift wrapping gene.

I tried.
On over seven packages this year, and countless other times in my life.
None of the results with the level of wrinkle free, tight corner, proper amount of paper to begin with that produces a well wrapped present did I achieve. I still gave presents.
However, in some form of cosmic compensation God seems to have allowed evolution to grant me the ability to get a manual transmission car with a dead battery to start just by pushing it and people for the most part enjoy what was so poorly wrapped.!

How is your holiday season going?

Subject: RE: BS: Christmas as such
From: Peace
Date: 25 Dec 08 - 12:46 AM

So, THAT'S where my car went . . . .


Best to you, Nick.

Subject: RE: BS: Christmas as such
From: Becca72
Date: 25 Dec 08 - 06:35 AM

I do not have a penis and I can't wrap presents well, either. That is why they invented gift bags, dude.

Merry Ho Ho Ho

Subject: RE: BS: Christmas as such
From: gnu
Date: 25 Dec 08 - 06:50 AM

I COULD wrap present very nicely, but, since The Dollar Store started selling those gift bags, to heck with that! And, since most of the family is now using them, I expect wrapping won't require buying many more.

MERRY HO HO!!!... to all.

Subject: RE: BS: Christmas as such
From: jacqui.c
Date: 25 Dec 08 - 07:22 AM

My son in law wraps presents beautifully and he knows the right thing to buy his wife!

My eight year old grandson hasn't quite got the knack of wrapping yet but does know what his parents would like for Christmas. He'll learn the niceties of the wrapping process in due course.

Those gift bags tend not to keep secrets the way that wrapping a parcel can - it's too easy to see what's inside and they're not as easy to stack under the tree either! Also, if you're on a bit of a budget, they don't do so well as a roll of Christmas paper.

Subject: RE: BS: Christmas as such
From: RangerSteve
Date: 25 Dec 08 - 08:49 AM

I don't have the wrapping gene, either. My problem is I can't cut the paper in a straight line. I discovered the bags long time ago, and realized that if the tag is tied to the handles, and not taped to the bag itself, you can recycle the bag for next year.

Subject: RE: BS: Christmas as such
From: Bat Goddess
Date: 25 Dec 08 - 09:26 AM

In my experience, those lacking the gift wrap gene (ie, men) first choose aluminum foil as an all purpose wrap (or bags from the liquor store), then discover gift bags. But (again, in my experience) men mostly need women to actually purchase the gift bags and then present them to the gift wrap-impaired male.

Linn

Subject: RE: BS: Christmas as such
From: SINSULL
Date: 25 Dec 08 - 10:16 AM

I love wrapping presents and am quite good at it given the time. It is a family joke that my presents were never meant to be open. Hospital corners and ribbon so tight it takes scissors to get past it.
Merry Christmas all.
Mine is a Whoo Christmas. It came without lights, presents, geegaws, and the like but it is here and i am content. A day off will do that to you.

Subject: RE: BS: Christmas as such
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 25 Dec 08 - 10:36 AM

I love wrapping presents, and I am good at it too. I can do ribbon curls and bows that are flat and parallel.
My hospital corners are immaculate.
Yet I am a man and as far as I remember, I do have a penis.

Subject: RE: BS: Christmas as such
From: Bee
Date: 25 Dec 08 - 11:06 AM

I have no penis, am a competent visual artist, and yet always manage to make a mess of gift wrapping. I use containers, often painted, like wooden dollar store boxes, large empty coffee tins, old cookie/candy tins, and gift bags (mostly recycled).

Subject: RE: BS: Christmas as such
From: wysiwyg
Date: 25 Dec 08 - 11:19 AM

People who lack the gift-wrapping gene often have the hard-cooked-egg-UNwrapping gene. (See me for details.)

===

Crimmiss brunch awaiting Hardi (working) is P-Vine's Egg Gravy (with jalapenos and cheese) in home-made chicken stock, over sliced oniony home fries. With smoked oysters on cream cheese on crackers. And crushed pineapple supplemented by the unknown cookies he usually brings home.

Later there is a spiral ham to do, together, for sammiches/freezer/a dinner, plus Filet Mignon Medallions and Bruschetta dipped in Gorgonzola Fondue and/or Smoked Gouda Fondue pots. Not sure which one we'll do/eat tonight and which one will be for tomorrow-- that's all to be decided ad started after the Crimmiss Nap. But either, with green salad and perhaps a few wasabi-deviled and porn-sauce-deviled eggs (almost-red, and green). And more fruit.

Crimmiss unwrapping this year will take about 4 minutes for the pair of us, and generate about a page's worth of paper to discard, but cluttering the LR are all the non-crimmiss blessings received this week from afar. The Wise Men got busy early this year.

Movies and hockey all set on the DVR for a lazy later-afternoon while the cooking occurs. And wonder of wonders-- I am actually caught up on laundry and the worst of the kitchen cleanup!!! The tree is even plugged in!

~Susan

Subject: RE: BS: Christmas as such
From: SINSULL
Date: 25 Dec 08 - 12:18 PM

I am more fascinated by the Christmas Unwrapping Gene. I favor ripping into it. But I know people who carefully remove the gift to use the paper again. Worse yet, I have witnessed the extra careful re-wrapping so that they can open it again later. I don't get it.

Subject: RE: BS: Christmas as such
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 25 Dec 08 - 04:52 PM

So was I the only one who thought the original poster was trying to gift wrap his own willy?

I really should get more...

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Christmas as such
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 25 Dec 08 - 05:52 PM

I've always assumed that if gender enters into these thigs, it's blokes who are more likely to be able to wrap the presents which present problems.

My working assumption is that there aren't actually any tasks which are intrinsically gender specific, but that in any society there is liable to be some which are seen as appropriate for men and some which are seen as appropriate for women. But they aren't going to be the same tasks fromone society to the next.

Subject: RE: BS: Christmas as such
From: Little Hawk
Date: 25 Dec 08 - 06:18 PM

Nick, there's a certain systematic way of wrapping a neatly wrapped package that works very well, but you would have to get someone to show you exactly how they do it, then imitate them, and then practice over and over until you got it right. After that? No problem.

Your problem is not that you are male and it isn't genetic, it is simply a lack of experience. After all, how often do you attempt to wrap packages? Not very often, right? Well, why be surprised that you are not very good at it?

If your life depended on neatly wrapping packages, and you had a few days in which to learn and practice the technique, plus a good teacher, I assure you that you could master it extremely well. ;-)

But since that's not going to happen...I guess just be happy that you are good at starting cars.

Subject: RE: BS: Christmas as such
From: GUEST,frogprince, in Minnesota
Date: 25 Dec 08 - 08:07 PM

willy?

I really should get more...

---

                  ??    : )That last one was me; and yes, Liz, I know what you meant, but I just couldn't help it.
                         Dean

Subject: RE: BS: Christmas as such
From: Q (Frank Staplin)
Date: 25 Dec 08 - 08:26 PM

Some of the Christmas bags that were under the tree are on their third time around. Saves recycling a lot of paper.

Subject: RE: BS: Christmas as such
From: ranger1
Date: 25 Dec 08 - 08:41 PM

I hate gift wrapping with a passion and if I can't get them to do it at the time of purchase, I frequently get Gramma to do it for me. However, when not spending Christmas with Gramma, that solution doesn't work so well. Plan B is usually a gift bag. If no gift bags, a roll of duck tape will do nicely. If that fails, I resort to wrapping, but only if the item in question is square-ish or I can find a square-ish box to put it in.

Subject: RE: BS: Christmas as such
From: Tinker
Date: 25 Dec 08 - 10:11 PM

I can wrap with the careful crowd, but not quite hospital corners. I confess to coding each child with their own paper to prevent confusion. And I agree that gift bags are too wasy for the curious to peek into...

Subject: RE: BS: Christmas as such
From: Little Hawk
Date: 25 Dec 08 - 10:35 PM

Gift bags are certainly a handy shortcut, no doubt about that. Here's a tip, though. When wrapping paper around a box, first attach one end of the wrapping paper TO the box with a bit of scotch tape. That anchors that end, which makes it easy to do the rest. You then stretch the paper all the way around the box, pull it snug and tight, and then trim it with some extra left over, then tape it down. Then fold in and trim the ends. Then tape them down. This will all work best, of course, if you have first precut enough paper to cover the box both lengthways and across, with a bit left over, but not too much left over.

Try it several times with cheap plain brown wrapping paper. Practice! You will soon have it all worked out. Then use the real wrapping paper.

But like I said, just get an adept wrapper of presents to show you how they do it...and imitate what they did. It's a lot easier than trying to follow written directions.

Subject: RE: BS: Christmas as such
From: GUEST,Peace
Date: 26 Dec 08 - 01:13 AM

Why kill another tree with gift wrap? Newspaper was good enough for fish it's darned well good enough for the Mercedes.

Subject: RE: BS: Christmas as such
From: wysiwyg
Date: 26 Dec 08 - 02:36 PM

If you ain't here with us, weep:

"We wish us a merry Christmas," Hardi sang to me as he served us from the butler's tray onto our tray tables. Pix to come, but the brunch was thin-sliced rare filet mignon and bruschetta chunks served alongside soft-scrambled-but-cooked eggs, the two fondues mentioned above (smoked gouda, gorgonzola), and a palate-sharpening fruit cup. "And a Faulkner New Year, " I sang back. (Dear F is starting to show his age.)

Brunch to give us srength to:

<> bake the spiral ham to break down for the freezer this aftn,
<> drop off leftovers of the above to our favorite chef who is also a minister's son, and grab supper there on our way to...
<> minister as unubtrusively as possible at a sensitive and complicated visitation (with Mudcat hankies in hand).

Our hockey tix for the evening are in the hands of a gentle, loving, Sunday-school-coordinating dad and his two teen sons. :~)

And we both got a good night's sleep, and slept in this AM too.

While we prepped the above Hardi and I taught F a new "go sit" spot near, but not underfoot, in the kitchen. For those rare moments when 3's a crowd.

We also noticed that there was one cooks' spot left, complete with stool and do-from-there tasks, for next time we have a cooking-oriented visitor (we miss Mmario and our adult kids especially).

~Susan

Subject: RE: BS: Christmas as such
From: Donuel
Date: 26 Dec 08 - 03:42 PM

In our little town on Chritmas we had water amin breaks all over town.
It was announced that our police had stolen all the best presents that were donated to toys for tots.

It was reported that the banks that got bail outs (banks like Mr. Potter's bank in "its a wonderful life") have refused to tell any of the taxpayesrs that put up the money - where any of it went.

The poor pregnant and homeless have little chance of getting any gifts from wise men this year.

Subject: RE: BS: Christmas as such
From: Little Hawk
Date: 26 Dec 08 - 04:06 PM

Donuel, go to Elizabeth Kucinich's website here

http://elizabeth.kucinich.us/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=44&Itemid=1

and you will find a very interesting video on what privately owned banks have done to the world economy since about 300 years ago, and how we (society, I mean) got into the financial mess we are in now...by the creation of vast amounts of (fictional) money entirely in the form of debt (to banks and lending instituions). Debt draws interest charges too, and that creates even more fictional money. Where does it come from? Where can it come from? Not from the mint. Not from the government printing press. From the stroke of a banker's pen or the touch of a banker's computer key. It appears magically out of thin air...AS someone's brand new debt to the bank, and it draws interest charges out of thin air too from that moment on until it is all paid off.

Quite a system, if you are the one in charge of making the loans! It's like having your very own private money tree and growing rich from it.

The only way that tree will die is if too many people (and businesses and governments) simultaneously become simply unable to handle their load of accumulated debts and they default on them and they go bankrupt. Then the tree that was built on the money that wasn't real suddenly and mysteriously withers up and dies. Trillions of dollars that were never real in the first place vanish back into thin air...which is exactly where they originally came from...by the stroke of a banker's pen.

If all the depositers went to the banks and tried to get their money, they would find out that most of it isn't there. 95% of it isn't there, because it was never there in the first place.

Oh, the numbers are on your statement, yes. But most of the real money simply isn't there. Maybe 5% of it is there. That means that after the first 5% of the depositors have withdrawn their cash, the bank is busted and must shut its doors.

These are the guys who just got bailed out. They have gotten a government reprieve from their own Ponzi scheme.

Subject: RE: BS: Christmas as such
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 26 Dec 08 - 07:52 PM

Date: 25 Dec 08 - 08:07 PM

willy?

I really should get more...


That should read... 'get OUT more'.


Ho hum...

Merry St Stephen's day to you all.

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Christmas as such
From: LilyFestre
Date: 26 Dec 08 - 08:27 PM

RidgePlucker and I exchanged Christmas gifts in our own traditional way...no wrapping at all. We have our bedroom lit with candles, snuggle up on the bed and first we do stockings (my personal favorite part). We don't wrap our presents but rather pull them out from our perspective sides of the bed....I can't see what he has for me and he can't see what I have for him until we hand it to one another. It's a very sweet time, quiet, peaceful, intimate and just the way we love it to be.   :)

Michelle

Subject: RE: BS: Christmas as such
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 26 Dec 08 - 08:44 PM

I am forever grateful to my sixth-grade teacher for teaching gift-wrapping as one of our class art projects. Not only can I wrap presents neatly, I can do it without the use of any tape whatsoever, just paper and ribbon. I don't wrap 'em that way, but I could if I had to. In practice, I do the paper wrapping (using tape)and then pass 'em off to my wife who does the ribbon work.

Subject: RE: BS: Christmas as such
From: PoppaGator
Date: 26 Dec 08 - 09:06 PM

I'm pretty damn good with wrapping paper and tape, generally flawless with rectangular solids (that is, boxes) and even pretty slick with irregular shapes.

It seems to be that, if this assignment is gender-specific at all, it should be easier for the average male than the avg female, because it's applied geometry, not unlike billiards, a fairly simple real-world application of math and (very) rudimentary engineering.

Now, I claim no competeance at all in the areas of ribbons, choice of paper, or any other embellishments or aesthetic choices.

But I can cut off the right amount of paper and wrap it nice and tight around just about anything. Within reason.

Now, as to figuring out just what to put inside the wrapping paper ~ well, I'm not too good at that, either. Some of the best presents I've ever given were, um, suggested by mutual friends...

Subject: RE: BS: Christmas as such
From: maire-aine
Date: 26 Dec 08 - 11:52 PM

I have always loved wrapping presents. And I'm usually very selective about the wrapping paper. Beginning decades ago (I was in high-school probably) my mother & I began to wrap the tops & bottoms of the boxes, and we'd re-use them from year to year. They had such pretty paper that they became part of the decorations. We had enough different sizes and shapes that you just had to go up in the attic and find one that fit. Still have most of them. Even have non-Christmas boxes for birthdays.

m

Subject: RE: BS: Christmas as such
From: Amergin
Date: 27 Dec 08 - 02:47 AM

the magical stuff known as duct tape is grand for present wrapping.....it helps save on paper too....

Subject: RE: BS: Christmas as such
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 27 Dec 08 - 05:06 PM

Manitas is useless at even getting the paper right.. I pointed out the two rolls of paper in the living room, stating that they were ready to be used... what did he do? He went into the loft and brought down 3 more rolls of paper, none of which matched each other, let alone the 2 contrasting rolls I had previously pointed out to him...

I give up.

LTS