Song Challenge: Milkman delivers pot

Subject: Song Challenge: Milkman delivers pot
From: oldhippie
Date: 09 Feb 09 - 07:40 AM

This guy deserves a song in his honour, anyone up to the challenge?

LONDON - A British prosecutor says an elderly milkman supplied customers with cannabis as well as bottles of milk.

Robert Holding, 72, delivered marijuana as he made his daily rounds in the town of Burnely, in northwestern England.

Prosecutor Sarah Statham said Friday that Holding offered the drug to elderly customers suffering from aches and pain. She says the customers left Holding notes on their doorsteps to order the drug.

Subject: RE: Song Challenge: Milkman delivers pot
From: melodeonboy
Date: 09 Feb 09 - 08:35 AM

Now, there's a challenge!

Subject: RE: Song Challenge: Milkman delivers pot
From: melodeonboy
Date: 09 Feb 09 - 09:37 AM

He could hear his head pound
As he slouched across the ground
And the redness of his eyes
As they spun round and round
And he walked into the sink estate
Three quarters in his vest
His name was Danny
And he drove the slowest milk cart in the west

Now Danny loved a widow
A lady known as Sue
She lived all alone in Linley Lane
At number twenty two
They said she was too good for him
She was haughty, proud and chic
But Danny sold his reefers there
Three times every week
They called him Danny (Danny)
And he drove the slowest milk cart in the west

She said she'd like a few ounces
He said alright sweetheart
And when he finished work one night
He loaded up the cart
He said d'you want Morocccan ?
Cos' Moroccan's what I buy
She says Danny I'll have a Tunisian
As long as it gets me high
And that tickled old Danny (Danny)
And he drove the slowest milk cart in the west

Now Danny had a rival
An evil looking man
Called Two Toke Tom from Teddington
And he drove the baker's van
He tempted her with his king-size spliffs
And his tasty wholemeal bread
And when she took a puff of his latest skunk
It very near blew her head
She was taken aback by his Afghan black
And he said now if you treat me right
You'll have grass every morning
And resin every night
He knew once she'd sampled his space cake
He'd have his wicked way
And all Ernie had to offer
Was an eighth of Moroccan a day
Poor Ernie (Ernie)
And he drove the slowest milk cart in the west

One lunchtime Tom saw Danny's horse and cart outside her door
But he got stoned and next he knew it was nigh on half past four
And as he leaped down from his van
THC through his veins did course
And he went across to Danny's cart
And started talking to his horse
Whose name was Smokey (Smokey)
And he pulled the slowest milk cart in the west

Now Danny rushed out into the street
His resin in his hand
He said if you want to marry Susie
You'll fight for her like a man
Oh why don't we play cards for her ?
Tom slurringly replied
And just to make it interesting
We'll have a quarter on the side
Now Danny dragged him from his van
And beneath the sky so pale
The two men stood there face to face
And Tom went for his scales
But Ernie was too quick
Things didn't go the way Tom planned
And half an ounce of resin sent them spinning from his hand
Now Sue she ran between them
And tried to keep them apart
And Danny pushed her aside
And a space cake caught him underneath his heart
And he looked up in pained surprise
As the concrete hardened crust
Of some four-year old black caught him in the back
And Danny bit the dust
Poor Danny (Danny)
And he drove the slowest milk cart in the west

Danny was only fifty-two, he didn't want to die
Now he's gone to make deliveries
To the dopeheads in the sky
Where the customers are all stoned
And drug squads are banned
And a dealer's life is full of fun
In that hippy-dippy land
But a woman's needs are many fold
And Sue she married Ted
But strange things happened on their wedding night
Before they got to bed
They were up all night with the shits, why, they didn't know
Or was it that dodgy resin Danny'd sold them months ago
They won't forget Danny (Danny)
And he drove the slowest milk cart in the west

Subject: RE: Song Challenge: Milkman delivers pot
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 09 Feb 09 - 09:38 AM

Ya turn the crank in the old google machine and look what you get?
Hemp Milk

Sign up for the Marijuana Mobility Scheme

Just imagine all those bungalo conservatories set up as as Gram and Gramp's Ganja Greenhouse for some real Herbal Tea.

Subject: RE: Song Challenge: Milkman delivers pot
From: GUEST,KevBoyd
Date: 09 Feb 09 - 09:45 AM

Quiz time:
Do you think "melodeonboy" has:

A: An alarming familiarity with soft drug terminology
B: An alarming familiarity with Benny Hill lyrics
C: Too much time on his hands
D: All of the above

Answers on a postcard.

Subject: RE: Song Challenge: Milkman delivers pot
From: Flash Company
Date: 09 Feb 09 - 10:26 AM

Apologies to Tom Paxton:-

Heelloo United Daireeese!!
I have engaged with the Milk Bottles'
And they were Smaaashed!!!!!

FC

Subject: RE: Song Challenge: Milkman delivers pot
From: Richard Bridge
Date: 09 Feb 09 - 10:53 AM

Surely that should be "the highest milk cart in the West".

Wot no Lebanese red or gold, nor Manhattan Silver?

Subject: RE: Song Challenge: Milkman delivers pot
From: DMcG
Date: 09 Feb 09 - 10:58 AM

Years ago our milkman delivered gold top, red top and silver top. Now you tell me, Richard, ...

Subject: RE: Song Challenge: Milkman delivers pot
From: open mike
Date: 09 Feb 09 - 11:35 AM

whoa! that challenge was taken up with gusto!

gives a whole new meanng to Oh Danny boy,
the pipe the pipe is calling...

who's Ernie?

here's the original hemp milk---
bhang, a holy drink used for Shiva celebrations

Recipe for bhang from Flavors of India by Shanta Nimbark Sacharoff.


Ingredients:

    * 2 cups water
    * 1 ounce marijuana
       (fresh leaves and flowers of a female plant preferred)
    * 4 cups warm milk
    * 2 tablespoons blanched and chopped almonds
    * 1/8 teaspoon garam masala
       [a mixture of cloves, cinnamon, and cardamon]
    * 1/4 teaspoon powdered ginger
    * 1/2 to 1 teaspoon rosewater
    * 1 cup sugar

Instructions:

1. Stop. Breathe. Smile.

Bring the water to a rapid boil and pour into a clean teapot.
Remove any seeds or twigs from the marijuana, add it to the
teapot and cover. Let this brew for about 7 minutes.

Now strain the water and marijuana through a piece of muslin cloth, collect the water and save. Take the leaves and flowers and squeeze between your hands to extract any liquid that remains. Add this to the water.

Place the leaves and flowers in a mortar and add 2 teaspoons warm milk. Slowly but firmly grind the milk and leaves together. Gather up the marijuana and squeeze out as much milk as you can. Repeat this process until you have used about 1/2 cup of milk (about 4 to 5 times).

Collect all the milk that has been extracted and place in a bowl. By this time the marijuana will have turned into a pulpy mass. Add the chopped almonds and some more warm milk. Grind this in the mortar until a fine paste is formed. Squeeze this paste and collect the extract as before. Repeat a few more times until all that is left are some fibers and nut meal.

Discard the residue. Combine all the liquids that have been collected, including the water the marijuana was brewed in. Add to this the garam masala, dried ginger and rosewater. Add the sugar and remaining milk. Chill, serve, and enjoy!

It seems a bit labor intensive, but then it is meant as an offering to Shiva.

Subject: RE: Song Challenge: Milkman delivers pot
From: Nigel Parsons
Date: 09 Feb 09 - 12:26 PM

As our winter world awakens
With its fresh white snowy coat
Here's the Old Dope Peddlar
On his electric white milk float

Every morning you will find him
In the Burnley neighbourhood
With his little half-gram packets
Making old folks feel quite good.

He gives old folks free samples
Because he knows full well
That an NHS prescription
Won't relieve his clients' hell.

Just ignore that damned arthritis
As you feel the pain just stop
With a little dose of ganja
And a pint of 'Golden Top'


With apologies to Mr Lehrer!!

Subject: RE: Song Challenge: Milkman delivers pot
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 09 Feb 09 - 01:15 PM

ROFLOL @ Nigels effort.....

Subject: RE: Song Challenge: Milkman delivers pot
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 09 Feb 09 - 02:13 PM

Early one morning,
Just as the sun was rising.
I heard the milkman singing,
As he went on his round.
Who wants some pot today,
'twill take the pain away.
How could you not buy
My cannabis today.

Subject: RE: Song Challenge: Milkman delivers pot
From: DMcG
Date: 09 Feb 09 - 02:25 PM

I've just realised it has already gone world wide as one of the songs from 'Oliver!':


Who will buy this wonderful morning
Such a sky you never did see
Who will tie it up with a ribbon
And put it in a box for me


   So I could see it at my leisure
   Whenever things go wrong
   And keep it as a treasure
   To last my whole life long

Who will buy this wonderful feeling
I'm so high I swear I could fly
Me oh my, I don't want to lose it
So what am I to do to keep this sky so blue
There must be someone who will buy

Subject: RE: Song Challenge: Milkman delivers pot
From: Jim Carroll
Date: 10 Feb 09 - 04:28 AM

Don't know about this sort of pot but.....
Years ago we were visiting Ireland and had been taken to a wonderful music session in County Limerick.
Later we assembled in the box player's house for a home session and were offered a drink of poitín.
Due to leave for home the following day, we asked about obtaining a bottle, whereupon our host presented us with a Lucozade bottle of the rather beautiful brew.
We demurred, saying we didn't want to deprive him.
"It's o.k.", he said, "It's Monday tomorrow", the milkman always drops off two bottles on the back step".
Civilisation - or what?
Jim Carroll

Subject: RE: Song Challenge: Milkman delivers pot
From: Nigel Parsons
Date: 10 Feb 09 - 04:44 AM

Or Pot Song by Jeremy Taylor

Subject: RE: Song Challenge: Milkman delivers pot
From: Nigel Parsons
Date: 10 Feb 09 - 07:10 AM

With apologies to Julie Andrews:

MY FAVOURITE THING!

Rheumatic pains, and migraines that blight us
Toothache, back ache & bloody arthritis
All aging pains that will ruin our day
These are some things that the 'weed' blows away!

Family worries, concerns about credit,
Failing libido (Okay, now, I've said it)
Government taxes, and how will I pay
Just a few cares that the weed blows away.

In the morning, while I'm yawning, lying in my bunk
My roundsman delivers my milk and my cream
(and) a couple of grams of 'skunk

Subject: RE: Song Challenge: Milkman delivers pot
From: alanabit
Date: 10 Feb 09 - 09:07 AM

Hilarious! I'll steal that!