BS: So, What Makes's a Woman Happy!

Subject: RE: BS: So, What Makes's a Woman Happy!
From: kendall
Date: 23 Feb 09 - 01:40 PM

What kind of love are we talking about? There are so many kinds. I love my State, my dog, my house, my guitar and my children.
Then there's my wife. Of course I don't love all of them the same way!None of them would approve.

Are we considering the madness of "being in love"?

Subject: RE: BS: So, What Makes's a Woman Happy!
From: Lizzie Cornish 1
Date: 23 Feb 09 - 09:56 AM

What Makes's a Woman Happy?


A man who's not afraid to tell her that he Loves her.

A man who's not afraid to tell others that he Loves her.

A man who means those words, every single time he says them to her.

A man who says them to her often.

A man who finally works out that the only thing in life which truly matters is to Love and be Loved in return.

A man who finally realises that *true* Love is never one-sided.

And...a man who at last, opens his eyes, the ones he's been keeping so tight shut against his emotions and sees the treasure that lies waiting, right in front of him.

A Little Bit of Love











Failing that...a man who keeps her in chocolate...or indeed, covers her in chocolate.

But I don't think we should go there, because that should probably be in a different thread entitled 'What Makes a Man Happy'..

;0)

Subject: RE: BS: So, What Makes's a Woman Happy!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 22 Feb 09 - 03:46 PM

Yup.

Subject: RE: BS: So, What Makes's a Woman Happy!
From: Amos
Date: 22 Feb 09 - 03:23 PM

Women, like all forms of life, seek self-determination in space and time.

Like most forms of life, they get partial results.

A

Subject: RE: BS: So, What Makes's a Woman Happy!
From: JohnInKansas
Date: 22 Feb 09 - 02:41 PM

LH -

Freud gets sort of a bad rap because he said quite a few things that were pretty intelligent that are omitted, ignored, and apparently unknown by most "Freudians."

He also did not say many of the things that are taught as "core Freudian knowledge" - at least not in any of his seven books that I read as a teenager when I was immature enough to think "that stuff" was really important.

He was succinctly and accurately summed up by his daughter Anna, herself a quite capable therapist, when she actually did say "Daddy was a nut," althugh it's not compleltey clear whether she was referring to his work or to his "family life."

On the main topic of the thread, 5 things men should know about women adds nothing most should not already know; but does illustrate that mudcat isn't the only place talking about the trite and obvious.

John

Subject: RE: BS: So, What Makes's a Woman Happy!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 22 Feb 09 - 12:41 PM

When I think of Freud, what comes to my mind is a very intelligent but extremely misguided man. ;-)

Subject: RE: BS: So, What Makes's a Woman Happy!
From: kendall
Date: 22 Feb 09 - 09:25 AM

Is it true that Freud once said, "In all my years of practice, the one thing I have never figured out, what do women want"?
I have my doubts.

Subject: RE: BS: So, What Makes's a Woman Happy!
From: bald headed step child
Date: 22 Feb 09 - 12:15 AM

I'm a little late getting in on this, but I can give the answer.

Women want security, at least that's what they ask for when I approach them in a bar, and they always seem happy when Security gets there. ;)

BHSC

Subject: RE: BS: So, What Makes's a Woman Happy!
From: SINSULL
Date: 21 Feb 09 - 10:45 PM

While Kendall was repairing a leaky faucet, I mused that I would be most happy with a man who agreed to live elsewhere and come over whenever I needed something fixed or whatever. Seems he an I have the perfect relationship and Jacqui is completely happy with it. LOL

Subject: RE: BS: So, What Makes's a Woman Happy!
From: Janie
Date: 21 Feb 09 - 10:11 PM

100 makes me happy.

Simple pleasures....

Subject: RE: BS: So, What Makes's a Woman Happy!
From: Janie
Date: 21 Feb 09 - 10:07 PM

"Girls Just Want to Have Fun."

Subject: RE: BS: So, What Makes's a Woman Happy!
From: GUEST,John
Date: 21 Feb 09 - 09:38 PM

I don't know about "Happy" but Robert Burns, who had about as much success with women as any man, summed it up when he wrote the poem: "Nine inch will please a lady".

Subject: RE: BS: So, What Makes's a Woman Happy!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 21 Feb 09 - 03:46 PM

Ha! Ain't that the truth.

Subject: RE: BS: So, What Makes's a Woman Happy!
From: kendall
Date: 21 Feb 09 - 03:32 PM

Men mature after they have exhausted all other options.

Subject: RE: BS: So, What Makes's a Woman Happy!
From: Ed T
Date: 21 Feb 09 - 02:53 PM

Anything ring true from the list below? (based on post from moon light, from another site)


What Makes A Woman Happy ?

It's really not that difficult...

To make a woman happy; a man only needs to be :

A Friend

important!!!! important!! A companion

A Lover

A Brother

A Father

A Master

A chef

An Electrician

A Carpenter

A Plumber

A Mechanic

A Decorator

A Stylist

A Psychologist

A Pest Exterminator

A Psychiatrist

A Healerand protector

A Good Listener

An Organizer

A Good Father

Very Clean

Sympathetic

Athletic

Warm

Attentive

Patient

Gallant

Intelligent

Funny

Creative

Tender

Strong

Understanding

Tolerant

Prudent

Ambitious

Capable

Courageous

Determined

True

Depandable

Passionate,.without a specific goal in mind

Spontanious, to satisfy her needs

Successful

WITHOUT FOR GETTING TO:
Give her compliments regularly

Love shopping

Be honest

Be very rich

Not stress her out

Not look at other girls


AND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST ALSO:


Give her lts of attention, and complements but expect little yourself

Give her lots of time

Give her lots of space, never worrving about where she goes


IT IS VERY IMPORTANT:


Never forget:

To listen, and not to judge

Birthdays

Anniversaries and special times

To compliment her appearance

To like her family, good or bad

Acknoledge arrangements she makes

You must kindle to get fire

Subject: RE: BS: So, What Makes's a Woman Happy!
From: number 6
Date: 21 Feb 09 - 02:18 PM

"So, What Makes a Woman Happy?"

... doesn't it all depend on their astrological sign ?? :)

biLL

Subject: RE: BS: So, What Makes's a Woman Happy!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 21 Feb 09 - 01:56 PM

hg - "What I can't figure out Little Hawk, is how you would even ask out a woman like that the first time."

Actually, I didn't. She asked me out. Twice. I had nothing else in particular to do at the time (the second time, I mean), so I said "Sure, why not?" The rest is history. ;-) Anyway, she could be charming and a lot of fun when she chose to be. With that woman it was either heaven or hell...seldom anything in between.

Subject: RE: BS: So, What Makes's a Woman Happy!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 21 Feb 09 - 01:46 PM

A SHAM! Oh! I am wounded! I'm going to crawl off in a corner and weep and moan for a bit...nothing hurts like not being believed. ;-)

That other situation you allude to, Peter, where the man loses interest after about a month...yes, that's quite common. I think it happens because the man is basically just trying to satisfy his sex drive (whether he knows that or not), he's seeking short term entertainment in other words, but he definitely doesn't want the complex set of responsibilities that come with an ongoing relationship. Women, on the other hand, usually do want that set of responsibilities, because it makes them feel secure...and loved. In the case of the man, if he's the hit and run kind, it just makes him feel trapped...and probably bored.

That happens with a lot of men, specially younger men. It doesn't go that way with all of them, though, fortunately. Some men are genuinely looking for committment and stability in a relationship.

Subject: RE: BS: So, What Makes's a Woman Happy!
From: kendall
Date: 21 Feb 09 - 01:33 PM

Anyone who basis a relationship on sex is in for a very unpleasant surprise.
"Kissing don't last, cooking does."

Subject: RE: BS: So, What Makes's a Woman Happy!
From: Peter T.
Date: 21 Feb 09 - 08:25 AM

An interesting discussion about this thread with women friends last night (well, part of this thread, we were discussing Little Hawk's putative lonerdom, and they all agreed that it was a sham). But anyway, there was agreement that one thing that separates women from men is that once a relationship starts, women are more interested in giving it time to build; men will decide they don't like the long term prospects and go. There was an agreement that somewhere around one month into a relationship (especially after about a week or so of sex, so the man at least can say he had sex with her, and notch her up) is where this happens. (I'm just reporting this conversation)......

(like all these theories, extrapolation from insufficient data).

yours ever,

Peter T.

Subject: RE: BS: So, What Makes's a Woman Happy!
From: kendall
Date: 21 Feb 09 - 07:13 AM

Here is a true example of what not to say.

My ex wife, like so many women, was very concerned about the size of her butt. One day she bought a new blue skirt, and of course, had to model it. She did a turn around in front of me and asked "Does this make me look like a Mack truck"? Without thinking I said,
"No, Mack trucks are always red."
I paid for that one.

Subject: RE: BS: So, What Makes's a Woman Happy!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 21 Feb 09 - 02:02 AM

Well, that's a refreshingly practical approach, mg. ;-) Your first post I mean.

Subject: RE: BS: So, What Makes's a Woman Happy!
From: mg
Date: 21 Feb 09 - 01:08 AM

And you have to know the right answer to do these jeans make my butt look fat (No, I am not going to tell you what it is). mg

Subject: RE: BS: So, What Makes's a Woman Happy!
From: Bert
Date: 21 Feb 09 - 01:05 AM

One has to be able to fix everything, whether its making the daughter's wedding dress or getting the boiler to work or just sharpening the knives.

And be nice all the time. That's the easy one, no matter if she's bitchy, that's when she needs you the most. And if she needs someone to shout at and you're the only one around, remember, you can take it, she has nobody else.

And always, that's ALWAYS, have an answer.

So when she asks 'What do you want for dinner?', never say I don't know. Always say 'Fish and chips' or 'Shepherds pie' or 'curry' or even 'caviar and venison pie' but never, ever, say 'I don't know'.

Subject: RE: BS: So, What Makes's a Woman Happy!
From: mg
Date: 21 Feb 09 - 12:53 AM

Men who can fix things and drive red trucks and are good-natured and totally responsible and are unaware that there are other women in the vicinity or the world. I never understand having to have a sense of humor..I guess that might be a mild asset....doesn't come close to killing bears if in an emergency wtih them though. mg

Subject: RE: BS: So, What Makes's a Woman Happy!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 20 Feb 09 - 10:38 PM

I think women may be (on average) a bit better at picking up those signals, Ebbie...or men (on average) might not be so good at hiding their dark side? I think men are often more surprised when their partner's dark side emerges than women are, because they never even saw it coming.

Well.....I can't say I know for sure, but I think it's more along the line of what Slag is saying: We don't want to see those tell-tale clues when we're in love with someone, and we make excuses for them, because we WANT to believe. That's one of the chief dangers of the whole process of "falling in love" as it is termed in our culture.

Subject: RE: BS: So, What Makes's a Woman Happy!
From: GUEST,Slag
Date: 20 Feb 09 - 10:26 PM

I have to agree with you LH. And remember love, or even a heady lust, is blind. We don't want to see those tell-tale clues. We often don't listen to the warnings of friends and family. We WANT TO BELIEVE!

Borderline personalities are particularly difficult to spot. Chameleon is an apt description. They are usually completely hidden from themselves too. All too often, when the negative changes begin to manifest, they make a remarkable case that it is YOUR fault, not theirs. A true test of such mental illness is that it continues to progress in a downward spiral. It becomes the proverbial train wreck; you can see it coming but there is nothing you can do about it.

Subject: RE: BS: So, What Makes's a Woman Happy!
From: Ed T
Date: 20 Feb 09 - 09:06 PM

Could it be swimming caps that make women happy? Just a guess, from left field.

http://www.headcovers.com/swim-caps/swim-caps/

Subject: RE: BS: So, What Makes's a Woman Happy!
From: Ebbie
Date: 20 Feb 09 - 08:47 PM

Um. Little Hawk, I'm with hg here. Many a woman marries a man who turns out seriously flawed whether as a violent person or a cheater at taxes or a paedophile.

But if she is facing it clearly seldom has a woman NOT known beforehand that he was not kosher, so to speak. She may not know how very bent he is but in my opinion she knows he is bent.

Maybe it goes back to what Bill D said about the woman planning to "change" him.    But trust me: She knows.

Subject: RE: BS: So, What Makes's a Woman Happy!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 20 Feb 09 - 07:56 PM

With many people, hg, you don't see their dark side at all in the early stages of courtship and relationship. It doesn't come out and reveal itself at first...not until the relationship is well established. This isn't because they are consciously scheming to fool you...it's just the way the human ego instinctively works, that's all. It doesn't get around to revealing its nastier subconscious garbage until it figures it has already made it safely to home base.

This also happens quite a bit with marriages. I'll give you an example. I have a friend who married in his mid-20s after having had a very happy relationship with his girlfriend for several years. They got along well, the sex was apparently great, they had lots of fun together and everything was going fine. Then they got married. Much to my friend's astonishment, his partner suddenly ceased having any interest in sex or emotional closeness at all anymore (including on their marriage night). She became combative and negative and all the joy went out of their relationship.

Whatever her subconscious garbage was, it had succeeded in hiding itself very effectively until that marriage license was signed. Well, they stayed together in this loveless marriage for a number of years, but eventually divorced.

You may think it's easy to see a toxic personality from the getgo. It isn't.

Women and men both want to be loved. That's a given. Some, however, simply don't believe deep down that they really deserve to be loved or that they ever can be loved or that anyone else ever will love them. They don't think they're lovable! And they don't even believe it's love when they get it from someone, they think it's a strategy of some kind. That's where the problems are usually hiding...in their negative thinking about themselves and their trust issues with other people. Those problems generally go right back to early childhood experiences, I think.

Subject: RE: BS: So, What Makes's a Woman Happy!
From: GUEST,hg
Date: 20 Feb 09 - 07:38 PM

What I can't figure out Little Hawk, is how you would even ask out a woman like that the first time. I hope you can read the signs better by now...

Subject: RE: BS: So, What Makes's a Woman Happy!
From: GUEST,Slag
Date: 20 Feb 09 - 07:20 PM

Rap, you're stealing my thunder!

Hard learned, tried and true. Women want to be loved. They want every aspect of their world to be secured in and by the love of an honest man (assuming they are honest women). Some men view sex as a separate act or a "part" of the picture. Women view sex as an integrated part of the total experience. It is life and sometimes the bringer of life. Of course this is all ideal but it is what you aim for.

And when women go a little crazy and bang off the walls you give them latitude to do so. When it's personal, don't take it personally. When things cool down it will be better than ever.

An amazing thing is to watch hot passion and romantic love convert into family love. Things change and love grows. It becomes a bulwark for all of life's storms. It embraces children and your children's children. And the really beautiful thing is that the original passion is still there, banked against all the humdrum or panic and the least little breeze of romance can fan it to life.

I Corinthians 13

Subject: RE: BS: So, What Makes's a Woman Happy!
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Feb 09 - 06:58 PM

"How to handle a woman?
There's a way," said the wise old man,
"A way known by ev'ry woman
Since the whole rigmarole began."
"Do I flatter her?" I begged him answer.
"Do I threaten or cajole or plead?
Do I brood or play the gay romancer?"
Said he, smiling: "No indeed.
How to handle a woman?
Mark me well, I will tell you, sir:
The way to handle a woman
Is to love her...simply love her...
Merely love her...love her...love her."

Subject: RE: BS: So, What Makes's a Woman Happy!
From: John P
Date: 20 Feb 09 - 04:28 PM

Little Hawk sez:
"Most seem to like chocolate, though. Most also like to go dancing and they enjoy a meal in a really good restaurant. They also like a good listener."

Damn, I must be a woman. I knew something was wrong . . .

Actually, I find this thread rather sexist, although it's a tongue-in-cheek discussion. I keep hoping we're going to move past the whole "all women are ..." and "all men are . . ." crap. I know lots of individuals, and one of the most interesting things about them is their individuality.

John P

Subject: RE: BS: So, What Makes's a Woman Happy!
From: Peter T.
Date: 20 Feb 09 - 03:42 PM

I believe it was Edmund Burke who, when told that England was about to collapse in ruins remarked that he thought it was unlikely because "there's a lot of ruin in a country." There's a lot of ruin in seeking companionship.

yours,

Peter T.

Subject: RE: BS: So, What Makes's a Woman Happy!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 20 Feb 09 - 03:30 PM

As long as what she wants is within reason, that should work pretty well. I once had a partner who wanted me to sleep with her crazy sister (!) as well as with various other women I wasn't attracted to in the least, and she also wanted me to get drunk with her on regular occasions and basically act completely unlike my own natural self. Her whole project was to manage me, change me, and turn me into someone rather like Shane McBride. ;-)

I declined on all counts.

Subject: RE: BS: So, What Makes's a Woman Happy!
From: Sleepy Rosie
Date: 20 Feb 09 - 02:49 PM

When I first met my current partner, my Father offered him some informal friendly advice: "just let her have what she wants"

We are still together... ;-)

Subject: RE: BS: So, What Makes's a Woman Happy!
From: Ebbie
Date: 20 Feb 09 - 02:45 PM

" know a woman who has much the same basic problem...she tries to "have a serious relationship" and issues develop. In her case, I am 82.537% sure that she tries to gently 'adjust' the habits of her intended partner....for his own good, of course. She is a very nice, giving, talented lady who has lived alone for many years, developing her clear ideas on everything from politics to what to have for dinner. I think she has just about decided that your way works best, Little Hawk." Bill D

Wow! My guess is that there are many more like her, Bill. In my case, after I fully realized some years back that I didn't even want to meet the "right" man, my life greatly simplified itself. In my early life I did enough that I'd just as soon not ever do it again.

The occasional dissatisfaction with my life now is much, much better than was my frequent dissatisfaction with my life then.

Luckily not everyone feels as I do, or humankind itself would end :)

Subject: RE: BS: So, What Makes's a Woman Happy!
From: GUEST,SINKY
Date: 20 Feb 09 - 08:03 AM

rugby,soccer,lager,sex,housework,cooking,looking after kids,smelly farts,    why havent i got a girlfriend?

Subject: RE: BS: So, What Makes's a Woman Happy!
From: akenaton
Date: 20 Feb 09 - 03:12 AM

Regardless of what Alice and others say, Women....and men have certain traits which are common to their gender.
Most women are happy to have a subtle control over their man, it has to do with the primitive need to find and keep a mate.
Women dont like submissive men though, it seems to be a nessecity to test their power from time to time......a challenge to their femininity?.....Ake

Subject: RE: BS: So, What Makes's a Woman Happy!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 20 Feb 09 - 01:40 AM

That's true, Al...but there are things you can do which will greatly assist them in making either choice. I bet I could find ways to "make" you unhappy if I lived next door, for example... ;-) (assuming I was inclined to do that) "Making" you happy would probably be a little more difficult, because it takes much more skill and awareness to "make" someone happy than it does to "make" them unhappy.

It's mere child's play to make most people unhappy...there are so many ways to do it. To make them happy...well, a smile and a friendly attitude is a good start.

Subject: RE: BS: So, What Makes's a Woman Happy!
From: Al
Date: 20 Feb 09 - 01:06 AM

You can't make another person happy. They have to choose to be happy. Or not.

Subject: RE: BS: So, What Makes's a Woman Happy!
From: Nick E
Date: 19 Feb 09 - 09:12 PM

Me, dead. (Or at least with dispepsia) Chicks dig that.

Subject: RE: BS: So, What Makes's a Woman Happy!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 19 Feb 09 - 09:10 PM

He's clearly on his own special wavelength...toward the low end of the frequency scale.

Subject: RE: BS: So, What Makes's a Woman Happy!
From: kendall
Date: 19 Feb 09 - 07:35 PM

How do so many men manage to remain so clueless in this day and age?

Some years ago, a close friend of mine was complaining about his wife. Among other things he said, "I don't know what ails her; she'd rather knit than fuck." I said to him, So would I, and most women would too."

Subject: RE: BS: So, What Makes's a Woman Happy!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 19 Feb 09 - 02:16 PM

Peter...

"lucubrations"???

Who does this woman you mention think would be the "best" candidate for lonerdom ever? What general type of man, I mean? I'm kind of curious about that.

If she could explain that in some detail, then I could draw some useful parallels between him and me and try to figure out where I've gone wrong...and then perhaps make myself over in a more suitable image and general mode for lonerdom. (grin)

Subject: RE: BS: So, What Makes's a Woman Happy!
From: GUEST,sinky
Date: 19 Feb 09 - 11:39 AM

a ten inch wanger with ten pound notes hanging off the end

Subject: RE: BS: So, What Makes's a Woman Happy!
From: SINSULL
Date: 19 Feb 09 - 08:20 AM

That project was almost as much fun as renovating the kitchen. I remember. The cross is still there. I pass by every spring to check. And it makes me smile. Kendall is such a romantic.

OK Groupies - that wss your cue. All together now - SIIIGGHHHH!!!!!!

Subject: RE: BS: So, What Makes's a Woman Happy!
From: kendall
Date: 19 Feb 09 - 08:16 AM

The cross was easy. It was the white part that gave me fits.

Subject: RE: BS: So, What Makes's a Woman Happy!
From: jacqui.c
Date: 19 Feb 09 - 08:13 AM

Actually, planting tulips is a good one - especially if they are planted in the colours and shape of the cross of St George and come up the first spring that she's spending in a foreign country........