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Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009

Related threads:
Blitherscrum Festival 2011. (71)
Wot, no Blitherscrum?! (2) (closed)
Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2007 (251)
That Blitherscrum? thats shit that is. (65)
Blitherscrum Folk Festival - Review (20)
Blitherscrum Folk Festival are GO! (130)
Blitherscrum Festival a great success! (35)
Blitherscrum under threat this year. (51)
Merry Christmas Blitherscrum attenders (8)
Blitherscrum Festival closure threat (44)
Blitherscrum Folk Music Festival (147)


Mr Happy 24 Feb 09 - 07:01 AM
Folkiedave 24 Feb 09 - 07:19 AM
TheSnail 24 Feb 09 - 07:27 AM
Folkiedave 24 Feb 09 - 07:41 AM
GUEST, topsie 24 Feb 09 - 08:20 AM
Georgiansilver 24 Feb 09 - 08:47 AM
SINSULL 24 Feb 09 - 08:54 AM
Georgiansilver 24 Feb 09 - 08:59 AM
Mr Happy 24 Feb 09 - 09:02 AM
Dave Hanson 24 Feb 09 - 09:04 AM
Mr Happy 24 Feb 09 - 09:41 AM
Mr Happy 24 Feb 09 - 10:18 AM
Dave Earl 24 Feb 09 - 10:26 AM
Mr Happy 24 Feb 09 - 10:31 AM
Harmonium Hero 24 Feb 09 - 10:51 AM
Harmonium Hero 24 Feb 09 - 10:53 AM
Georgiansilver 24 Feb 09 - 11:02 AM
Georgiansilver 24 Feb 09 - 11:10 AM
SINSULL 24 Feb 09 - 11:51 AM
Georgiansilver 25 Feb 09 - 02:54 AM
Georgiansilver 25 Feb 09 - 02:58 AM
Folkiedave 25 Feb 09 - 06:36 AM
Mr Happy 25 Feb 09 - 07:26 AM
GUEST,MC Fat (at work) 25 Feb 09 - 07:42 AM
Harmonium Hero 25 Feb 09 - 08:16 AM
Mr Happy 25 Feb 09 - 08:22 AM
Mr Happy 25 Feb 09 - 08:32 AM
Georgiansilver 25 Feb 09 - 08:36 AM
Mr Happy 25 Feb 09 - 08:48 AM
Harmonium Hero 25 Feb 09 - 08:58 AM
Mr Happy 25 Feb 09 - 11:39 AM
GUEST,Ringo 25 Feb 09 - 11:47 AM
Georgiansilver 25 Feb 09 - 01:19 PM
SINSULL 25 Feb 09 - 04:01 PM
TheSnail 25 Feb 09 - 04:42 PM
Georgiansilver 25 Feb 09 - 05:28 PM
Mingulay 25 Feb 09 - 07:50 PM
Georgiansilver 26 Feb 09 - 02:59 AM
GUEST,Neovo 26 Feb 09 - 03:53 AM
Georgiansilver 26 Feb 09 - 06:16 AM
Mr Happy 26 Feb 09 - 07:28 AM
SINSULL 26 Feb 09 - 07:52 AM
Mr Happy 26 Feb 09 - 08:00 AM
SINSULL 26 Feb 09 - 08:13 AM
Georgiansilver 26 Feb 09 - 08:45 AM
Mingulay 26 Feb 09 - 10:56 AM
Georgiansilver 26 Feb 09 - 11:14 AM
Mick Tems 26 Feb 09 - 12:13 PM
Georgiansilver 26 Feb 09 - 12:16 PM
SINSULL 26 Feb 09 - 12:34 PM
Folkiedave 26 Feb 09 - 06:54 PM
GUEST,Allen in Oz 27 Feb 09 - 12:38 AM
Georgiansilver 27 Feb 09 - 02:23 AM
Folkiedave 27 Feb 09 - 03:16 AM
Mr Happy 27 Feb 09 - 07:03 AM
Georgiansilver 27 Feb 09 - 07:23 AM
GUEST, topsie 27 Feb 09 - 07:28 AM
Mr Happy 27 Feb 09 - 08:50 AM
SINSULL 27 Feb 09 - 08:56 AM
Mr Happy 27 Feb 09 - 09:05 AM
Mr Happy 27 Feb 09 - 09:22 AM
Mr Happy 27 Feb 09 - 10:57 AM
Georgiansilver 27 Feb 09 - 11:48 AM
Georgiansilver 28 Feb 09 - 01:31 PM
Tangledwood 28 Feb 09 - 05:19 PM
Mr Happy 01 Mar 09 - 08:07 AM
Georgiansilver 01 Mar 09 - 09:19 AM
Mr Happy 01 Mar 09 - 09:25 AM
Mr Red 02 Mar 09 - 05:44 AM
Georgiansilver 02 Mar 09 - 05:45 AM
Harmonium Hero 02 Mar 09 - 08:45 AM
Mr Happy 02 Mar 09 - 09:17 AM
Harmonium Hero 02 Mar 09 - 11:12 AM
Mr Happy 02 Mar 09 - 11:30 AM
Georgiansilver 02 Mar 09 - 11:32 AM
Mr Happy 02 Mar 09 - 11:36 AM
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Mr Happy 03 Mar 09 - 05:35 AM
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Mr Happy 03 Mar 09 - 09:27 AM
Mr Happy 03 Mar 09 - 10:16 AM
Georgiansilver 04 Mar 09 - 06:05 AM
Mr Happy 04 Mar 09 - 06:35 AM
Georgiansilver 04 Mar 09 - 08:32 AM
Mr Red 05 Mar 09 - 05:33 AM
Folkiedave 05 Mar 09 - 05:45 AM
Georgiansilver 05 Mar 09 - 07:19 AM
Art Thieme 05 Mar 09 - 12:21 PM
Mr Happy 06 Mar 09 - 10:36 AM
SINSULL 06 Mar 09 - 10:55 AM
Mr Happy 10 Mar 09 - 06:59 AM
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Mr Happy 10 Mar 09 - 08:33 AM
Leadfingers 10 Mar 09 - 09:07 AM
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Subject: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: Mr Happy
Date: 24 Feb 09 - 07:01 AM

Due to problems in the past few years from flooding, the committee has arranged a brand new site for this year쳌fs festival.

It쳌fll be close to the old site near the village in order that full advantage can still be taken of the local hostelries and other amenities.

The big difference this time will be the precautions taken to defeat any disruptions caused by bad weather.

These will consist of stilts and rafts on which the campsite and marquees will be situated.

Should there be any flash floods or serious inundations of water, then all of the accommodation should ride the storm successfully.

To get around all the areas, each person will be issued with an inflatable dinghy and there쳌fll be family size ones for those with young children

Another major change this year is that our prime sponsorship patrons will be different.

In the past, we쳌fd been able to access grants from the local council and from the European Social Fund, but due to the recent economic recession, these funds are no longer available.

Instead, we쳌fve approached some investors from the TV show, Dragon쳌fs Den, who have agreed to put up the money at reasonable percentages.

All in all, we쳌fve every confidence that this year쳌fs event should be the best ever, as with the extra funding, we쳌fve been able to engage a fantastic line up of premier folk superstars!

Watch this space for further announcements!


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Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: Folkiedave
Date: 24 Feb 09 - 07:19 AM

Watersons? Waterboys?


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Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: TheSnail
Date: 24 Feb 09 - 07:27 AM

Eliza Carthy - Dreams of Breathing Underwater.


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Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: Folkiedave
Date: 24 Feb 09 - 07:41 AM

Mary Humphries and Anahata

"Floating Verses".


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Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: GUEST, topsie
Date: 24 Feb 09 - 08:20 AM

As sung on John Betjeman's "Banana Blush":

A SHROPSHIRE LAD

The gas was on in the Institute,
The flare was up in the gym,
A man was running a mineral line,
A lass was singing a hymn,
When Captain Webb the Dawley man,
Captain Webb from Dawley,
Came swimming along the old canal
That carried the bricks to Lawley.
Swimming along -
Swimming along -
Swimming along from Severn,
And paying a call at Dawley Bank while swimming along to Heaven.

The sun shone low on the railway line
And over the bricks and stacks
And in at the upstairs windows
Of the Dawley houses' backs
When we saw the ghost of Captain Webb,
Webb in a water sheeting,
Come dripping along in a bathing dress
To the Saturday evening meeting.
Dripping along -
Dripping along -
To the Congregational Hall;
Dripping and still he rose over the sill and faded away in a wall.

There wasn't a man in Oakengates
That hadn't got hold of the tale,
And over the valley in Ironbridge,
And round by Coalbrookdale,
How CAptain Webb the Dawley man,
Captain Webb from Dawley,
Rose rigid and dead from the old canal
That carries the bricks to Lawley.
Rigid and dead -
Rigid and dead -
To the Saturday congregation,
Paying a call at Dawley Bank on the way to his destination.


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Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 24 Feb 09 - 08:47 AM

Amongst those appearing again this year are:-
Jezlo.
Vinegar Butt.
Kite Rubme.
Georgo Peritonitis.
The Quarries.
The Muck Almonds.
Five punny peas.
Queer eye Stan.
and many more famous ones hopefully.


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Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: SINSULL
Date: 24 Feb 09 - 08:54 AM

And a live reenactment of The Mermaid!
Have any plans been made for a freeze - just in case. Global warming and all...


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Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 24 Feb 09 - 08:59 AM

Advice on the subject of a possible freeze has been taken from 'Eskimo Nell'


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Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: Mr Happy
Date: 24 Feb 09 - 09:02 AM

Have any plans been made for a freeze?

Funny you should ask, we're presently negotiating with Michael Fatly to perform the aquatic version of 'Riverdance' with Irish style synchronised swimming & should there be a sudden cold snap, it could adapt to a skaters' waltz!!


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Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: Dave Hanson
Date: 24 Feb 09 - 09:04 AM

It's really really difficult to pitch a tent on stilts, so unless the weather is really really good I won't be attending again.

Dave H


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Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: Mr Happy
Date: 24 Feb 09 - 09:41 AM

The chief executive of Dragon쳌fs Den, Ned Snogard, along with venture capitalists Leo Graffiti & Duncan Disorderly will be promoting a special show featuring some tribute bands of their personal favourite stars of yesteryear.

These will include:

The Shadows [of their former selves]
Engelbert Pumpernickel
Marvin Straight
Chuck Trilby
Martin Cathartic
& many more!!


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Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: Mr Happy
Date: 24 Feb 09 - 10:18 AM

Also appering will be

Lonnie Gonagain
Nina & Roderick
The Snippers
Billy J. Cromer & the Dahomeys
Johnny Currency
The Travelling Raspberries
The Pee Cees


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Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: Dave Earl
Date: 24 Feb 09 - 10:26 AM

Er will water wings be on sale in the (Floating) Craft Fair?


Dave


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Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: Mr Happy
Date: 24 Feb 09 - 10:31 AM

What do you think the craft fair is, some sort of sideshow??


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Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: Harmonium Hero
Date: 24 Feb 09 - 10:51 AM

In case you're interested, I am the agent for some interesting groups, including:
Rick O'Shea and the Bouncers
Ann O'Rexic and the Beanpoles
Anna Glipta and the Grotty Ceilings
Paddy Fields and the Coolies
Erin Dawes and the Little Ladies
Titus A. Crabsarse and the Skinflints
Annie Oldrags and the Totters
Claude Balls and the Lion Tamers

Let me know if you're interested. JK.


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Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: Harmonium Hero
Date: 24 Feb 09 - 10:53 AM

Oh, and I almost forgot - Jaques Hughes and the Prosecutors...
JK


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Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 24 Feb 09 - 11:02 AM

and of course:-
R.Slicker and the Bosses.


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Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 24 Feb 09 - 11:10 AM

Those of you bringing canoes should remember to pack all the relevant equipment or you could be up the creek without a paddle!. Regarding the Toilets... as they are under water this year the faulty flushes have not been fixed as it was considered a waste of money. The money saved can be spent on many divers projects.   The old beds in the indoor camping shed have been thrown out so you are asked to sleep in the inflatables as they will provide a good degree of comfort... and should the water rise you will rise with it. If there is not room for your whole family in one inflatable then please bring blow up 'lilo' beds for the children... but do harness them to something to avoid them floating away in the night.
We are hopeful that everything will go down well this year.


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Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: SINSULL
Date: 24 Feb 09 - 11:51 AM

So the toilets are flushing into the river where Michael Flatley will perform an aquatic riverdance? Oh GOODIE! He will stink in so many different ways.


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Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 25 Feb 09 - 02:54 AM

So who is coming from the general public this year??? Are you and what is your name?


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Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 25 Feb 09 - 02:58 AM

I will be coming and my name is Plaidan Oat.. My girlfriend is Sanga Nair.


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Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: Folkiedave
Date: 25 Feb 09 - 06:36 AM

Stop Press:

Cherrington/Ward "Sail on By"

And Flook are reforming to play "Haven".

The highlight of the festival will be a special re-enactment of Sam Larner and "Now is the Time for Fishing".


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Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: Mr Happy
Date: 25 Feb 09 - 07:26 AM

Good news for smokers!!

We쳌fve secured a supply of 2nd hand diving suits complete with helmets & our in house backroom boffins have been busy converting them to self-contained smoking outfits.

So now if you쳌fre in a decent session or sinaround, you can light up inside your suit & puff away happily without having to leave the room or annoy your fiends with your fumes.

Given that events could be disrupted by unexpected deluges, the suits can be real lifesavers & it쳌fd be possible to carry on the session even underwater!!


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Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: GUEST,MC Fat (at work)
Date: 25 Feb 09 - 07:42 AM

The EFDSS Syncronised Swimming and Shantey Crew say they are prepared to take on all comers in a competitive match. They are currently training for the 2012 Olympics


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Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: Harmonium Hero
Date: 25 Feb 09 - 08:16 AM

I heard that the Boat Band were running the sinkarounds.


I'll get me oilskins...JK


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Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: Mr Happy
Date: 25 Feb 09 - 08:22 AM

Harmonium Hero

LOL!!


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Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: Mr Happy
Date: 25 Feb 09 - 08:32 AM

On the down side, the suit쳌fs boots are weighted down with lead, so in order to avoid incontinence problems, you'd best purchase Mr Happy쳌fs patent 'Pampers for Campers' which can be comfortably worn underneath the garments.

Similarly, you may find trouble arising & making your way to the bar, so Mr Happy쳌fs 쳌eAutobooze쳌f kit will overcome this issue.

It쳌fll fit nicely into your suit & furthermore, even if you쳌fre a non smoker, can easily be adapted to go under everyday wear.

Consisting of two [or optionally, more] flexy containers + some connecting tubes, the device can be arranged such that you can have a bottle of whisky [or other beverage of your choice] down inside the right leg of the suit & a bottle of beer etc in the other leg.

The tubes then connect from the bottles to your mouth.

The fact that the kit is inside the suit means it쳌fs also away from the prying eyes of landlords/ bar staff or other philistines who might want you to desist or turn ugly & chuck you out!


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Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 25 Feb 09 - 08:36 AM

Wrap me up in me oilskins and jumper,
No more on the dockside be seen.
But to Blitherscrum I'll travel,
All their problems unravel.
And I'll see you there underwater old bean!


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Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: Mr Happy
Date: 25 Feb 09 - 08:48 AM

Georgiansilver, the next poet laureate?

Shall I start a govt. petition?


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Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: Harmonium Hero
Date: 25 Feb 09 - 08:58 AM

Mr.H: you mean like suitleg whisky?

JK swimming like hell


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Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: Mr Happy
Date: 25 Feb 09 - 11:39 AM

Unfortunately, the webpage is down as the server can쳌ft find a suitable coin for the 쳌eleccy meter.

However, the provisional programme is here:

Friday night:

Welcome Sinaround with the Right Reverend Ignatius Tonedeaf leading the session, ably accompanied by the massed voices of the Blitherscrum Ladies Male Voice Choir.

This will take place in the primitive Methodist Chapel and commences at evensong.

In the Oddfellows Hall will be a ceilidh with Mrs Evadne Tonedeaf and her traditional wind up gramophone to provide the music.


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Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: GUEST,Ringo
Date: 25 Feb 09 - 11:47 AM

We`ll be there in our "Yellow Submarine"!


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Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 25 Feb 09 - 01:19 PM

Is that a 'wind' up gramophone or a 'wind' up gramophone???
Think about it?


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Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: SINSULL
Date: 25 Feb 09 - 04:01 PM

A "sinaround"? Is that a promise, a threat or a typo?


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Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: TheSnail
Date: 25 Feb 09 - 04:42 PM

A sinaround in a diving suit?! More than I can cope with.


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Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 25 Feb 09 - 05:28 PM

Obviously to go deeper!!!!


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Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: Mingulay
Date: 25 Feb 09 - 07:50 PM

Is it to be held in Octember again, if so, I will come and give my infamous demonstration of extreme blackberrying. Providing the briars are not immersed in more than 50 metres of water of course. I believe that is about eleven shillings in proper measurements.

I shall now go and look up the words to the narrowboat toilet pumpout shanty, sometimes known as Shallow Brown!


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Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 26 Feb 09 - 02:59 AM

Lol @ Mingulay... where have you been my friend? Been waiting for your contribution.


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Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: GUEST,Neovo
Date: 26 Feb 09 - 03:53 AM

I might come along and try my new found aquatic skills - last summer I went swimming, last summer I might have drowned but .....


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Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 26 Feb 09 - 06:16 AM

Just heard that the Synchronised Aquatic Banjo team are coming.. whoopeeeee.


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Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: Mr Happy
Date: 26 Feb 09 - 07:28 AM

Regarding the 쳌eboat쳌f element of the festival, we are modelling ourselves to some extent on the Midwich example, part of which is to invite members of the inland waterways association with their narrowboats to both join with the musical canal heritage & also contribute articles of artistic & cultural interest to the craft fairs & displays.

We hope they쳌fll also have their boats gaily decked out in floral & creative parade along their moorings on the canalside, then as at Midwich, tourists can enjoy their trips [over the mooring ropes] as they explore the toepath


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Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: SINSULL
Date: 26 Feb 09 - 07:52 AM

Will there be food?????


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Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: Mr Happy
Date: 26 Feb 09 - 08:00 AM

As the town is situated just a stone쳌fs throw from the beach, there쳌fll be seafood stores galore, both on the promenade & on the festival site.

If the expected floods do occur then fishing tackle will be on hire to catch your own just by sticking your pole out of your tent!


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Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: SINSULL
Date: 26 Feb 09 - 08:13 AM

Isn't that how the festival got closed down last year? Too many aged folkies sticking their poles out of their tents?


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Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 26 Feb 09 - 08:45 AM

Too many aged folkies trying to stick their poles where they shouldn't be sticking them more like!!


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Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: Mingulay
Date: 26 Feb 09 - 10:56 AM

Aren't the words synchronised and banjo together something of an oxymoron? According to my dictionary by the way an oxymoron is an idiot who is still breathing! But then it also says that an itchyfanny is a make of Japanese motorcycle!!

G'day to you Georgian my old fruitings, I trust things are well in the land of the yellowbellies. Will you get all the beet hoeing done by lent?


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Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 26 Feb 09 - 11:14 AM

I leave the beet hoeing to the farming community whilst I ravage the Antique Fairs and Car Boots for gold/silver/antiques etc. looking forward to Blitherscrum which is being given high accolade this year in the' Water Sport' magazine!! LOL


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Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: Mick Tems
Date: 26 Feb 09 - 12:13 PM

What's this I hear about the Blitherscrum Folk and Boat Festival being liquidated? Is it just an ugly rumour?


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Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 26 Feb 09 - 12:16 PM

No No No!!! It's liquid assets are great!!!


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Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: SINSULL
Date: 26 Feb 09 - 12:34 PM

"Ho'in and liquid assets? Sounds like wine, women and song.


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Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: Folkiedave
Date: 26 Feb 09 - 06:54 PM

What a shame Jon Boden has not listed it on his gig list.

After all his new record is so appropriate for this festival.

"Songs From the Floodplain"


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Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: GUEST,Allen in Oz
Date: 27 Feb 09 - 12:38 AM

I have a sinking feeling about Blitherscrum this year.

And I am in Australia !

AD1943


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Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 27 Feb 09 - 02:23 AM

Blitherscrum is certainly on the up and up... especially if the floods do come.. all the inflatables will go up! Anger will go up! in fact whatever goes down will be gone from Blitherscrum forever. The Committee have organised a Carnival Procession this year in which peiople from neighbouring villages can enter their 'floats' for a prize of a barrel of locally brewed Blitherscum ale (or Blitherscrum Beer as some prefer to call it) It has been hailed as the greatest real ale of the century by the local womens institute and the Salvation Army.


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Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: Folkiedave
Date: 27 Feb 09 - 03:16 AM

Inflation? What happens if someone punctures things and it does a "Well known festival that didn't happen last summer in the North York Moors Area".

You'll have let the ticket buyers down, the audience down, and most of all you'll have let the festival down.


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Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: Mr Happy
Date: 27 Feb 09 - 07:03 AM

Beat inflation! With your very own solid state traditional oak beer barrel raft!

Yo ho ho, as I set sail
On my very own floating raft of ale
It won쳌ft let me down or fail
As I paddle it along in a roaring gale

Glide o쳌fer mountain, hill & vale
Cruise the plains o쳌fBlitherscrum dale
Catch your crabs or occasional whale
With your fishing pole & a big bent nail!!


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Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 27 Feb 09 - 07:23 AM

I guess we will hear you sing that at Blitherscrum this year Mr H.... can't wait to hear the tune LOL


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Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: GUEST, topsie
Date: 27 Feb 09 - 07:28 AM

I'm hoping to watch from the towpath - I do hope none of the banks collapse.


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Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: Mr Happy
Date: 27 Feb 09 - 08:50 AM

The real ale bars will be offering such gems as

Cat쳌fs Pee,
Stumpy Jack
Jumpin Jehosophat
Desert Rat
Frog Spawn
Jolly Oddfellow
Woolly Sheep
Bishop쳌fs Member
& many more!


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Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: SINSULL
Date: 27 Feb 09 - 08:56 AM

No Foster's, I hope. Bastarsd deserve a Boston style tea party.


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Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: Mr Happy
Date: 27 Feb 09 - 09:05 AM

More tribute acts will include:


Tom Brixton
Nauseous Nigel
Elvis Portillo
George Crosby
Bing Formby
Rectangle, promoting their greatest hit album 쳌eBasket of Tights쳌f!!
Stockport Convention
The Artic Donkeys


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Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: Mr Happy
Date: 27 Feb 09 - 09:22 AM

The committee are inviting applications for stewards & ground staff.

All applicants will receive free tickets including camping permit for the whole week's festivities.

You will be expected to work a total of 25 hours each day, testing the quality of the food and beverages, assisting the disabled or incapable in a fine song and dance, leading athletes on the traditional wild goose chase, & any other duties as required


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Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: Mr Happy
Date: 27 Feb 09 - 10:57 AM

Festival workshops will be

Belly dancing with Big Jim O'Bese – a speciality workout for beer swillers & larger louts!

Could be a staggering performance!

Championship pie & boiled egg eating

Song writing competitions

Yo ho ho & a bottle of rum
Down your trouser leg at Blitherscrum
Leave an indescribable impression
At sinaround or diddly session!


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Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 27 Feb 09 - 11:48 AM

With songs that evolved from a primeval flood,
Of fishermen fishing and men drawing blood.
With folk in deep water all trying to sleep,
Of children with eyes closed not daring to peep.

Each year we return to the same piece of ground,
To listen, to take in those old Folkie sounds.
If you have not heard them then sure you must come,
To our festival this year at old Blitherscrum.

Written by Anon from Upper Ramsbottom


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Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 28 Feb 09 - 01:31 PM

Not belly dancing again?? Only the men turned up last time.... and the beer bellies... welll!!!!!!!!!


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Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: Tangledwood
Date: 28 Feb 09 - 05:19 PM

No aquapella singing workshop?


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Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: Mr Happy
Date: 01 Mar 09 - 08:07 AM

Another new event has been suggested for the benefit of members of the Mudcat Café Folk Forum.

With the generous co operation of Blitherscrum Boxing Club, there'll be an opportunity for Mudcatters involved in virtual disagreements in cyberspace to settle their grievances by beating the sh*t out of each other on a level playing field!!


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Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 01 Mar 09 - 09:19 AM

It has been suggested that we invite one of the moderators on the 'Cat' to referee said fights but the trip from the US to here could be prohibitive. Also it might present whoever it was with a little stress as you cannot delete real people when they get OTT.


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Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: Mr Happy
Date: 01 Mar 09 - 09:25 AM

........possibly have a live TV linkup??


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Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: Mr Red
Date: 02 Mar 09 - 05:44 AM

Please do not allow your lilo to drift into the adjacent properties nor tie-up to their fence posts. We must not "Come into the Garden Moored"

(Morecombe and Wise 1972)


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Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 02 Mar 09 - 05:45 AM

This thread appears to be sinking to the depths!!!!


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Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: Harmonium Hero
Date: 02 Mar 09 - 08:45 AM

Don't talk wet. JK.


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Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: Mr Happy
Date: 02 Mar 09 - 09:17 AM

The exclusive serious regulated singaround will take place as usual in the upper room of the Oddfellows Hall.

Strangers hoping to get a chance to sing, enter at your own risk as you'll receive the traditional local welcome of frosty stares & the cold shoulder.

Heavily enforced turn taking will move in a clockwise direction except when it comes to your go, when the MC will say in an authoritative & autocratic tone ' Let's have one from old Eric, he's sung here from time immemorial, so deserves to get an extra go'

After the ancient local's bored the pants off everybody with his long winded obscure monologue done in a dialect not his own that no one [not even he] understands, you get your guitar poised to start, but no – the whole room explodes into a frenzied shanty chorale, with old Alfie bawling out the verse & the assemblage bawling back the responses


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Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: Harmonium Hero
Date: 02 Mar 09 - 11:12 AM

I blame the organisers. Anyway, I thought the cold shoulder was off the buffet menu this year, after the outbreak of Festival Gut last year. I could ba wrong; I usually am. JK.


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Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: Mr Happy
Date: 02 Mar 09 - 11:30 AM

Percussion workshop

Bring along your shaky eggs, rattles, wooden tongs, bodrhans etc, & find out how to get the best from them!

Led by a master of these ancient arts, he쳌fll collect them all off you at the start of the session in order that the mixed ability standards of the students doesn쳌ft interfere with the initial lecture.

While this talk is in progress, the instruments will be properly disposed of in the bonfire at the pig roast set up by a team of trained experts


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Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 02 Mar 09 - 11:32 AM

Just a cursory remark to those who were cooking bacon last year on the campsite. Due to the way our country is moving.. with everything having to be 'PC' and no minorities to be upset etc.... it is considered distressing to Farmer Browns pigs to smell bacon cooking ... so please refrain from using bacon.
Also when someone was making scrambled egg last year.. a local chicken was heard to say "There goes my crazy mixed up kid"... so the same must apply to the use of eggs.


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Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: Mr Happy
Date: 02 Mar 09 - 11:36 AM

We hope to reward the piggy wiggies with the tantalising aroma of barbecued bodrhans!!


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Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 02 Mar 09 - 01:05 PM

Yes... an alliterative treat.. Barbecued Bodhrans and Banjoes!!!!


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Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: GUEST, topsie
Date: 02 Mar 09 - 01:16 PM

If the piggies don't like the smell of bacon, how do you think the local nanny goats are going to feel about the sound of bodhrans?


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Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 02 Mar 09 - 01:42 PM

They won't hear them if they are barbecued will they!!!!!!!!!!!


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Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: GUEST, topsie
Date: 02 Mar 09 - 02:02 PM

Aha... Good point


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Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: Mr Happy
Date: 03 Mar 09 - 05:35 AM

Parking arrangements for cars, camper vans & caravans [inc. trailer tents]

As we are setting up this year쳌fs festival with anti-flood precautions in mind, new arrangements have had to be considered regarding hardstanding for the above vehicles.

The main carpark & caravan area will be situated on higher ground overlooking the festival field.

Should any inundations of water rise up this far, contingencies are in place consisting of giant inflatable swim rings which will be strapped to each vehicle, thus keeping each afloat.

We have dinghies & canoes for hire for traversing the area.

If the numbers arriving during the week exceed the capacity of this area, then latecomers can be accommodated on the several overflow sites.

Dogs.

We are conscious from previous year쳌fs experience that if you wish to bring your pet, they are best kept on a lead at all times.

Should the floods occur, we advise that dog walkers should be very aware that when their animal needs its toilet, special care should be taken to ensure that all solids are collected in the appropriate bags supplied


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Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: Mr Happy
Date: 03 Mar 09 - 05:56 AM

In cases of difficulty, fishing nets on bamboo sticks are available from the festival organisers orifice office


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Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 03 Mar 09 - 06:30 AM

A request has gone out from the committee for people to act as stewards at the Festival. Must be RNLI trained and have at least an "elementary" life saving certificate. It would also help if they have had any experience of shepherding.... well you know what Folkies can be like in great numbers......
Jezlo and Vinegar Butt have confirmed their attendance.


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Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: GUEST,Neovo
Date: 03 Mar 09 - 09:00 AM

Has the mooring officer been appointed yet? I'd like to book my gin palace into a prime berth.


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Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 03 Mar 09 - 09:08 AM

That would be a real tonic Neovo!


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Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: Mr Happy
Date: 03 Mar 09 - 09:27 AM

To maximise the funding resources this year, the committee have concluded that since there쳌fs so much good talent around among ordinary folkies, we쳌fve no need to book any top line, top price artistes.

Consequently, the line up this time will be an original mix of up & coming acts both home grown, national & international, & including tribute acts of both present day and those of yesteryear.

Some쳌fve the tribute acts are;

Show of Feet
Patrick Avenue
Demon Hairstylists
Eric Gogle
Des Parker
Nan쳌fs Chalkboard Van

& many more!!


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Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: Mr Happy
Date: 03 Mar 09 - 10:16 AM

& many more!!

including

Dr. Moonlight
Professor Startle
The Comb & Paper Orchestra of Great Britain
The Bacup Peanut Dancers
Marie Midget
The Winkle Band


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Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 04 Mar 09 - 06:05 AM

For anyone thinking of coming from foreign climes... the Blitherscrum dollar is very weak at present so you would get an excellent exchange rate. This is not another 'watered' down attempt to attract you to the Festival!!! Blithersrum aged bikers group have now offered to do some of the stewarding and to give lifts to and from the station.


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Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: Mr Happy
Date: 04 Mar 09 - 06:35 AM

Presumeably, the bikers have a contingency flood plan?


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Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 04 Mar 09 - 08:32 AM

Yes they all have inflatable panniers on their bikes.


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Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: Mr Red
Date: 05 Mar 09 - 05:33 AM

Will they be singing Biker Hill (or Bike up Hill)?


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Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: Folkiedave
Date: 05 Mar 09 - 05:45 AM

Fish


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Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 05 Mar 09 - 07:19 AM

Don't know about the hill thing. but I understand that they can go hondawater!!


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Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: Art Thieme
Date: 05 Mar 09 - 12:21 PM

What a farce! It sounds more like the Blatherscam Fu.. And Bloat Festival to me.


Art   ;-)


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Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: Mr Happy
Date: 06 Mar 09 - 10:36 AM

??


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Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: SINSULL
Date: 06 Mar 09 - 10:55 AM

LOL


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Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: Mr Happy
Date: 10 Mar 09 - 06:59 AM

Trade Stalls

Amongst the traders invited this year are:

Leakey쳌fs Camping Supplies

Here you can get Leakey tents, Leakey water bottles, Leakey gas stoves, Leakey airbeds,
Leakey chemical toilets

Also among their accessories are collapsible chairs, collapsible tables, and collapsible camp beds


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Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 10 Mar 09 - 07:24 AM

I just collapsed laughing!!!


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Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: Mr Happy
Date: 10 Mar 09 - 08:33 AM

On the canalside is Smellie쳌fs Boat Chandlers who, as well as their own products, carry some of Leakey쳌fs lines.

On special offer during the festival are such indispensable items as Leakey Wellies, a goodly range of Smellie socks and designer Smellie underwear.


Boaters can buy Leakey rainwear, Leakey sou쳌fwesters, Smellie air fresheners and Smellie toilet cleaner

Also, you can get all your environmentally friendly products here, including torches, lanterns, phone chargers and other windups


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Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: Leadfingers
Date: 10 Mar 09 - 09:07 AM

100


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Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: Mr Happy
Date: 10 Mar 09 - 10:05 AM

Just knew that '99' would attract you Terry!


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Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 10 Mar 09 - 10:11 AM

I wondered when you would visit Blitherscrum Terry..... and when can we expect you in Gainsborough again ?


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Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: Tangledwood
Date: 10 Mar 09 - 06:56 PM

With the end of the Australian summer season approaching, The Mooloolaba Morris and Surf Ironman Team is planning it's first UK tour so will of course visit Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival.

Their repertoire consists of a 10km swim, followed by "Hunt the Wombat", "Swaggies Hey" and "Four Hand Reel" (surf lifesaving demonstration) and concludes with the scull (six pack of Fourex).

The team is eager to meet all challengers but in the event of no competition will be quite prepared to make an exhibition of themselves.


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Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: Tangledwood
Date: 11 Mar 09 - 06:18 PM

Update from Mooloolaba - Stevo and Davo will be released in time to join the tour so the dance "Strip the Wattle" will now be included. Note that is a new choreography which, hopefully, will avoid a recurrance of the embarrasing incident which occurred after Dazza's wife, Kylie, made an error typing out the set list, substituting widow for willow.


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Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: Mr Happy
Date: 12 Mar 09 - 10:40 AM

More Trade Stalls

Leakey쳌fs Cycle Stores

All accessories, including Leakey tyres, Leakey inner tubes, Leakey repair patches

Collapsible folding bikes & Quick release, saddle, wheels, & panniers


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Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: Mr Red
Date: 12 Mar 09 - 10:45 AM

and will the music stall sponsor the event and thus exclude all others?

sort of our Sole agents?

just assking.


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Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 12 Mar 09 - 10:51 AM

The toilet paper suppliers are definitely 'oursole agents'.


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Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: GUEST, topsie
Date: 12 Mar 09 - 12:32 PM

Is it possible to reserve a plaice in the campsite?


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Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 12 Mar 09 - 12:49 PM

If you pay C.O.D.


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Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 13 Mar 09 - 04:08 AM

News has just come in that a great duo called Blair and Bush will make an appearance.... they are apparently climbing out of their box as they are usually into 'Country' ... particularly Iraq!
It has been requested that there will be no shoe throwing......


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Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: Tangledwood
Date: 13 Mar 09 - 06:01 PM

Country? I thought Blair and Bush were into heavy metal.


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Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: Zany Mouse
Date: 13 Mar 09 - 07:02 PM

Good to see you up and around Peter (Mingulay).

Rhiannon


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Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 13 Mar 09 - 07:49 PM

Noooooo Blair and Bush are into Banjos and Bodhrans ..... instruments of mass destruction!


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Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: Mr Happy
Date: 18 Mar 09 - 10:08 AM

Emergency Services


Widdlington Inshore Rescue Service, based in the nearby inland port & fishing village of Widdlington, will be on hand to assist any folkies, campers, boaters etc who may get into difficulties should the forecast deluges ensue.

Points of interest of Widdlington, although it쳌fs designated as a port, it쳌fs no longer on the coast due to erosion of beaches further away, drainage schemes for land reclamation, and silting up of the River Widdle, and the former major harbour & fishing port is now 7 miles from the sea.

As this has been a gradual process, the villagers decided to maintain the lifeboat & its volunteer crew & overcame the problem of launching into the sea from an ever-increasing distance by periodically lengthening the slipway.

Of course, in order that the boat may efficiently traverse the slipway into the water, the angle of elevation of the gradient has also needed to be enhanced, inadvertently creating one of the highest points of the local landscape; Lifeboat Hill.

The hill is presently classified in mountaineering jargon as a 쳌eMarilyn쳌f, that is to say its dimensions are of relative height of 150 metres (492 ft), see here http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marilyn_(hill) for more info.

In consequence of the raised altitude of the lifeboat station, some difficulties have resulted, such as the problem of how the boat[s] can be returned to the station post rescue.

A successful & economical procedure, which overcomes this problem, has been developed using an extensible heavy-duty 쳌ebungee쳌f cord, one end of which is attached to the boat, and the other end to a clockwork mechanism in the boat station.

When the lifeboat is released, the kinetic energy generated by its fall & journey to the sea is stored in the giant spring of the clockwork motor.

As soon as the boat hits the waves, the bungee is detached from the boat & hooked onto a specially engineered eyelet embedded in a gigantic lump of reinforced concrete buried in the ground left over from the beach defences of WW2.

When the boat returns to the shore, the cord automatically engages with its hook & the whole caboodle is whisked back into the boathouse in a trice!

Due to G forces encountered, the crew have to wear protective suits, but they need to don them quickly while still at sea, as once the boat touches land, its just a matter of seconds until the vessel takes off and reaches close to the speed of light!!


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Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: Mr Happy
Date: 18 Mar 09 - 10:21 AM

On the positive side, since Lifeboat Hill has been in existence, it쳌fs created many new and novel leisure opportunities for the local populace, including Britain쳌fs tallest Helter Skelter [G suits optional] and the newly developed dry ski slope on the side away from the boat house.

Plans still in the pipeline are for a bobsleigh run, a giant skateboard chute and infants climbing wall.

Other pastimes carried on at the site for many years have been the Lovers Leap, a popular picnic area with a good view of the landing points


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Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: GUEST,Jenno
Date: 24 Feb 11 - 09:28 AM

Fascinating; an' ter fink that Oi were born an' raised in Widdlington. Oi never thought ter see it on the web, lifeboat an' all; cripes!


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Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: Fred McCormick
Date: 24 Feb 11 - 09:57 AM

I went to Widdlington once. It was closed.


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Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: Mr Happy
Date: 24 Feb 11 - 12:29 PM

Due to the unforeseen effects of climate change, a 50 mile radius about Blitherscrum hasn't had any rain since 2009.

Also for this reason, the water board has stepped in to takeover the canal from the inland waterways authority to use as a reservoir for drinking & domestic supplies.

Consequently, the cut can no longer be used by any boat traffic.

This has totally changed the character of the boat festival as even the River Blither has dried up, so the narrow boats have all had wheels fitted & driven via their Bollinger engines using a chain linkage system.

Other changes will be announced in due course, but the organising committe are determined that the festival will still go ahead.


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